Threedom - Threevisiting: Shoe Mop Tops

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss Topo Gigio, Reptar, and classic cell phones before playing Lyrical Synonyms. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so-called midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building

a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now,

wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Coolop Eulisak. And I'm Soojin Park. And we're your aunties on Add to Cart, a podcast all about the things we buy, the things we buy into, and what that says about who we are. We're real life friends who love to talk about what we're adding to cart. Sometimes that means trying the latest snail serum to slather on our faces, or a sweater that screams one third ugly.

That's right, Soo. Each week we dive into honest, oftentimes TMI conversations about what's taking up space in our shopping carts and in our minds, be it products, trends, or something for our auntie book club. We also bring guests on the show and take a peek into their carts because the things a person buys or doesn't says a lot about them.

We like to think of ourselves as aunties to all, fun, slightly unhinged, and always ready to share some sage advice and a good product wreck. Add to Cart is out now wherever you get your podcasts. That was the freedom theme as performed acoustically by Russell Kabir, cognitive science PhD and associate professor at Hiroshima University. Are you drunk? Do I sound? Professor?

Professor? Professor of... I'm a professor, professor, professor, professor of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, and he delivered and he wasn't the only one, but we will hear more of that. But he's Mike's friend. He's also the only one to do it in Japanese.

Well, he did it in Japanese. He did. So apparently each one of the versions that he said means a sort of version of three or three people or something. I could get more information on that later. No, thank you. Oh, good. Hey, welcome to Freedom.

Wow, you're a dick hole. Scott, you are being a bit of a dick hole. You mean that hole in a dick where... Peekhole? Tell us, tell us. And the other one. And blood. Oh, I don't even like to talk about that either.

And blood. Free thing, sorry. Welcome to Freedom. My name is Lauren Lapkus. My name is Lauren Lapkus. And coincidentally, my name is Paula Tompkins. It's such a coincidence. My name is Lauren Lapkus. And coincidentally, my name is Paula Tompkins. Ooh. It's such a coincidence.

That's how I threw you for a loop, kiddos. That was, remember Tim Allen and he would make those noises and people thought it was great. Bip, bip, bip. Was it from his standup? Yeah. Was it? Were standards lower

or was there just not any entertainment that anyone could see? No one had done noises before. Here's what's interesting about that to me. Now I loved that show, but I was a child. Now was that show made for adults? I mean, when you became a man, you put away childish things.

Rap. Yeah. Rap, I said, for some reason. Rap. Rap. Sure. Put away your rap? Rap.

Rap. Boop. So the idea is that- Zungy! It was made for families. And so it had to be in this middle place where it could appeal to absolutely everybody without fear of repercussions. Paul, you're out of focus right now, by the way.

When I look at you. Honey, who are you telling? You look gorgeous. The holiday season, am I right? Oh boy, but you know, it is the, we just spent Christmas together, the three of us. Yeah, I know. We all woke up in our bed and took off our night caps.

Yeah. We had our candle stubs and we went downstairs. And guess who had visited us? Uh... No, not you, the audience. Oh, oh, oh, okay. Leave a space. Leave a space. Sorry, guess who had visited us?

Ah, you guys are shouting too loud. But you're right, I heard a few of you say Santa. Well, I heard one person say Sinterklaas. I heard one person say Chris Kringle. I heard one person say Topo Jijo. Oh God. That was from last Friday's. Scott hasn't seen a little in-joke for that.

Which movie was that? The Santa Claus. Well it's also from life and something that everyone knows. Everyone knows it. Dude, how many people do you think grew up watching that movie in 1994? They were like kids or whatever. And they have no idea what fucking Topo Gigio is? Yeah.

Lauren, do you know? You were a child. I don't know. You don't know what, do you still not know? I will give you three guesses. I actually can quote it, but I don't know what I'm quoting or what I'm talking about.

It's quite a quote. But isn't it from something funny? It's from Santa Claus. I'm gonna give you three- That's not only from that. No, it's not. That is in itself a Claus. I'm gonna give you three- That's not only from that. No, it's not. No, it's not. That is in itself a reference. I'm gonna give you, Lauren, three guesses

as to what Topo Gigio is. Okay, well, what do you mean is? Is it a reference or is it- What are you, Bill Clinton? Wait a minute, are you Bill Clinton? I did not inhale that woman. I've always looked at you being like, there's something funny about her.

Is she Bill Clinton? Yeah, you figured it out. Why is she playing that saxophone? You figured it out. In her BVDs. In my BVDs, folks. Was he, wait, was he a boxer guy or was he a briefs guy? I can't remember, but I remember that question being asked.

I remember it being such an important question and so hilarious that someone on MTV asked him that. And then I don't remember the answer at all. I bet we could find out if we wanted to. That's back before we knew that the fate of the world was in terrible hands. Anyways, Topo Jijo, so, okay. Did you look it up?

I did not, I did not. I was adding these Christmas lights to my Zoom. You get three guesses and how do we work this? Do we say warm or cold or what do we do? Yeah, start- Well, it's three guesses. Yeah, so we'll give you, we'll let you know if you're in the right ballpark.

If it's warm with the first one, I'll move towards the second one. Of course, of course, it's there. No, I have, okay, is it an SNL reference? No. But- Somewhat warm. Somewhat warm. Okay, hold on.

Is it a late show of some sort reference? Man, you're not gonna get it if you waste... Colder. If you get incrementally closer, but yeah. Okay. Colder. Okay, I'm warmer though. I say colder.

Well, can I have 10 guesses? Yeah. We gotta give her... Honestly, all you had to do was ask. You can have 10 guesses? Yeah, we got to give her. All you had to do is ask. You can have 20 guesses. I want to have 10. So wait, have we done two questions? This is basically 10 questions is what we're playing.

SNL was warm, but then a late show was colder than SNL. Yeah. I think so, yeah. I think so. And Scott does too. I turn them around. I turn him around. I turn him around.

OK, was the original thing from a television thing? Yes, it was from a television thing. That's important. Yeah, it is. Is it from a movie? No, just said it was from a television. What are you? OK, Is it from a television thing? Yes.

Is it from a movie? Yes. The Santa Claus. I thought you were saying like it could have been on TV. No, I wouldn't count movies that run on TV. Okay. Okay. Hold on.

For you have six questions left. Okay. Did it have to do with... Damn, I wish I had taken a lot of those and asked different stuff. Does it have to do with... Hold on. This is not one of my questions. Is it helpful to guess about TV shows?

Yeah. Okay. Is it from the 70s? No. No. Is it from the 80s? No. Colder.

Colder. From the 60s? Yeah. I would give her 60s, wouldn't you? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I would. Yeah. Is it from a variety show? Yes. That's eight questions.

Is it from Carol Burnett? No. If only you knew that that was a 70s show. Oh, shit. Yeah, I did know that. 60s. You have one more question you have to guess. Is it from Laughin'? No. No, you're out of, you're out, but you could ask for more.

Can I have five more? Yep. Yeah, sure. It's a variety show from the 60s. It's not Laughin'. That's kind of the only thing I can really think of. I don't really know other ones, but I'm going to keep going. I don't really know any, so it's kind of hard for me to even ask a question, to be honest.

Yeah, can we give her- It's not an obscure one. No. But it's very famous. Give me a hint. Okay, I'll give you one word. It's a very famous variety show from the 60s. How about that? I'll give you- Fucking it, dude.

I'll give you one word and it'll, if you know what it is, this'll tell you and if you don't, it won't. Shoe. Shoe. As in, I'll give you this full sentence. You should have asked me, can you use it in a sentence? Can you use it in a sentence? We have a really big shoe.

We have a really big shoe tonight. I almost feel like if you don't get Tobuji-shu, you're also not going to get that. But she just said it. She just like said the reference. We have a really big shoe. And yet it didn't help. It's like I know in my memory palace somewhere. Oh, go there. Okay.

Oh yeah, you just go there and figure it out. I thought you were there the whole time. I'm trying to be there. Okay. You have six more questions. Johnny Carson. No. No. But I already knew that.

Did you? Because I said it wasn't Late Show. Oh, that's true. That's true. Okay, can I give you another- Sonny and Cher? No. That's 70s. Can I give you another word?

Yeah. Mop. Mop. Mop. Scott, if you're headed where I think you're headed, I'm mad at you. Why? I'll give you one more word. OK.

Tops. I knew it. Shoe mop tops? Ha ha ha. You got it! Yes, it's a shoe mop top. Topo Gigio's from Shoe Mop Tops. Mop tops.

The Beatles. What does that make you think of? The Monkees? 60s Variety Show. The Monkees! Yes, you're right, it was The Monkees. Fair, fair. Wait, is it really?

No, it was not The Monkees. What the fuck? We have it, like once she gets the actual show, she doesn't even know what it is. What does The Beatles make me think of? Yeah. 60s Variety Show make me think of? Yeah. 60s variety show. And think of the Beatles.

I don't know. Do any of those like images of the Beatles in the 60s with like people screaming and them playing on TV? Like, what does that make you think of? TV. Yeah. Good, okay. We're getting closer. We're getting warmer.

Did you ever see Bye Bye Birdie, the musical Bye Bye Birdie? Only when I was in high school did it. I mean, it counts. But I don't know. I don't know. Okay, how about this? How about this? A famous horse, but without the honorific.

Ed. Ed. Hold on, I know this. I do know this. Okay, now think of a famous pilot. And what he would drive around. Sullivan. What he would drive around. Yes. What he would drive around.

Yes, Sullivan, you said it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay, so that's what it was. Now what was it? That's where it's from. Now what was it?

That's where it's from. You only get 30 more questions to determine what it actually is. Was it a waiter that was like, topoji jo? No. Is that something the waiter would say? And by the way, are there a lot of waiters on television shows? Like delivering... In a sketch.

In a sketch. In a sketch. Of course. Oh, I see. I see. I thought you meant like just delivering apps during the show. I certainly didn't mean that. Oh, really?

Back in the golden age of television, yes. That's what they would do. They would bring hot apps around to the audience. Okay, so tell me the context. Toppo Gigio was a little mouse puppet. Wow. And he had a little Italian accent. He was very adorable. He was like, oh, Toppo Gigio.

Cute. Yeah, oh, so cute. All he could say was his own name. Wow, I'm looking at him right now. That's not true. He could say any other name. He's really adorable. So that was a fun game.

So that was a fun game. So we don't have to do the three-cher now. Yeah, that was the three-cher. That was submitted by- We front loaded the three-cher. Josh. So that's a lot of fun. Lauren figured out what Topo Jizo is. So now you, whenever you say- Excuse me, guys. So that's a lot of fun. Lauren figured out what Topo Jizo is.

So now you, whenever you say- Excuse me, guys, hold on. So that's a lot of fun. Okay. Hmm. I just wanted to reiterate that this was a blast. And when I figured it out, I felt elated. Now tell, let us guess something we don't know.

Okay. Yes. There's gotta be something. Okay. Although I can't think of anything because I don't know it. Me neither. So should I come up with like a ref,

like a random thing like that and you have to guess what it's from? Yeah, something you know that we don't know. Okay. I mean, I'll just try the first thing came to mind. You might know it. What is this from? Reptar.

Say it again. Did you say R-E-P? Reptar. Reptar. Reptar. Say it again. Did you say R-E-P? Reptar. Reptar. Reptar? R-E-P-T-A-R. Reptar. Reptar. Okay, neither of us know this. This is good.

Is it from, okay. I guess first? Yeah, and you get five questions each. Is it from a sitcom? No. Oh. Is it from a movie that was on TV a few times? No.

Well, technically probably yes, but that's not where, it's not really where it originates. Is it from a movie based on a sitcom? No. Is it from a sitcom based on a different sitcom? No, but you're wasting all your questions. What? Can I have 10 more questions?

Yeah. Okay, good. Can I have 11 more, cause I'm stupid. Is it from a commercial? No. Was there ever a commercial for the thing that it was on? Yes. Great.

What? Wait, I can't follow that. Was it a cartoon? Was it on a cartoon? Yes. Was it a Saturday morning cartoon? Not in the traditional sense. Not in the traditional sense. Is it from a cartoon where a boy had a head shaped like a football? Yes.

Is it from Hey Arnold? No. How many cartoons are there about boys with football shaped heads? There actually is a head that's shaped like a football. I mean, in Charlie Brown, they used to draw football laces on his head, right? That's right, yeah. So is it from Charlie? That's also not what I'm...

Cool. Which, by the way, that tacitly is saying that he is bald and not just that he has a short haircut. I thought they were always kind of... No one ever thought he has a short haircut. He has one hair. No, I think that... I think that was supposed to be the official thing. I feel like I remember researching this.

I thought that they were saying, like, he's like... I thought they were all three years old, essentially, and he just hasn't had hair yet. They're two years old. You know what I don't like about Charlie Brown? When people do live Charlie Brown and they also have a bald head for Charlie, it's like, we don't need it to be bald.

It's weird, we don't need the bald head. Just give yourself a short haircut. We don't need the bald head, guys. We don't need a bald head. Just put on the sweater and shut up. And don't talk. Yeah, that famous sort of sweater. Is the, Lauren, is the football head,

is it vertical or horizontal? Horizontal, but again, I don't think you should focus on that, because I don't think it's gonna help you. Why don't they- It's all I can think about. Why don't they make footballs in the shape of heads? That's a really good question. Those are soccer balls.

No, that's like in the shape of a globe. Your head is a perfect circle. I don't know if anyone's ever told you that. My head is what? A perfect circle. Yeah, thank you. You know that, right? It's not a sphere.

It's just a circle. It's a two dimensional flat circle. Yeah, it's just a flat circle. Like time. Like time. Wow. We've done it. We should end the episode right now.

Yeah. Goodbye, everybody. Come on, guys. It's our first 15 minute episode. Come on, guys. And now our next episode begins now. Yeah. Goodbye, everybody. Come on, guys. It's our first 15-minute episode. Come on, guys. And now our next episode begins now. You can guess it. All right, is it The Karate Kid?

No, it's a cartoon. Yeah, that was. Whatever. Does this cartoon depict rats who hang around on rugs? Yes! Oh. Reptar was the serial slash scary Godzilla type figure slash chocolate bar character slash many things.

Reptar bars. They fought against him? No, I mean in their minds I guess, if I'm remembering any of that correctly. Oh, did they have like fantasy adventures with Reptar? I don't know, you would see Reptar, but I can't remember what the context was. Like I do with the M&Ms, especially the horny one.

Yeah. You have a lot going on with that one. I have a lot of fan fiction that I wrote about me and the green M&M. So how do you guys do it? It's filthy. Do you have to like chomp a hole? Wait, did I already send this to you? Wait, did I already send this to you?

What? Did I already send this to you? That's exactly what happens. That's exactly what happens. If you had to be in a boxing match with any cartoon character, and it wasn't someone that you could just like obliterate, like a green M&M or whatever,

you could just eat them or whatever. Like it had to be pretty evenly matched. Who would it be? First of all, I wouldn't even eat a green M&M or whatever, you could just eat them or whatever. Like it had to be pretty evenly matched. Who would it be? First of all, I wouldn't even eat the green M&M in a boxing match. I would just pummel the, I would just- Kick the shit out of it. I would absolutely destroy the green M&M and then eat it.

But I would say, to make it interesting, I would want it to be Popeye, but he doesn't have access to spinach. How does he not have access to it? Do they have to lock it interesting, I would want it to be Popeye, but he doesn't have access to spinach. How does he not have access to it? Do they have to lock it away? It's a rule, yes, it's a rule. Like you can't bring food in, I'm assuming it's a professional match.

Popeye isn't following rules out there. He's in the Navy. He's born to follow rules. He might risk a dishonorable discharge to eat that spinach. Like you need to actually physically keep it away from him is what I'm saying. Like there needs to be some sort of safe, you know.

Well, that's what the referee is for. The referee is there just to protect the safe or to put it in the safe? Yeah, the referee is the only one who has the combination of the safe. There's before the match is a big ceremony where he puts two cans of spinach in the safe. So I have access to one too, if I can crack the code.

That's not gonna do anything for you. Why didn't nobody, how do you know? Nobody ever tried it. That's the thing, no one ever, no one ever like Papa eats spinach. Who wants a can of spinach? It's so disgusting. Can you fucking imagine?

He's gonna barf. Especially when he squeezes it and flies up in the air and then he just opens his mouth and lets his, oh, just a barrage of spinach. I'm popping the sailor, man. I live in a garbage can. What is that? That's right.

No, that was it. That was it, the end. I... See you next week. Don't have a moat. I go where they float. I'm Pennywise's best friend. I just started watching.

Pennywise and Popeye would get along. Yeah, they're certainly asking. No, Scott. They have a similar point of view, I think. What's their, what? They have a lot in common, I think. From the ground up. What are their similarities?

What are the similarities in their world view? They're both incredibly handsome. They both have names that start with P. Yeah. Oh shit, I didn't see that. That's a good point. Does anyone ever call him It the Clown? Yes.

Hey, It the Clown. I saw somebody... My name is Pennywise. I saw somebody refer to Pennywise as It the Clown on a tweet one time, it really made me laugh. They were not trying to be funny. Before I saw the new It, I did refer to him as It. Of course, we all did.

Okay, if you had to be the protagonist in any Stephen King novel or movie. Wait a minute, what about the cartoon characters? I'm not done with this question. Yeah, which one? I'm saying this is part two. How many questions deep are we? No, no, no, don't go to part two.

I gotta do part one and so do you. Yes, that's right. So if I were gonna fight a cartoon character, my first thought was to think of someone who was physically like me. So my first person that came to mind, you might not know this reference, Pepper Anne. I don't.

I've heard of Pepper Anne, but I don't know what she looks like. Another P cartoon character. She's a seventh grader. Okay, I know what they look like. Each and every one. They all look alike, right? Googler.

Googler. It popped in my head I would pick Pepe Le Pew, but then I, you know, because he gets so horny that it would be like, he'd get distracted by someone in the audience, you know? Why would you ever want to fight a big skunk? I know. That seems miserable.

We have a little skunk who, we see it on the cameras, he like goes through our yard and then goes underneath the gate all the time. And we're like, there's that little guy again. I'm sure I've told the story of when my house got sprayed by a skunk when I was in sixth grade. I don't remember it. I remember you mentioning that, yes.

I can't tell it again, it's very long, but it involved me going to school reeking of skunk, even though I stayed at a friend's house. Oh no, I don't remember that part. It took over the entire house. We had to be pumping it out with these machines and we had to throw out a bunch of clothes that were in the laundry.

Hopefully not those Terminator machines. Boy, they're gonna take over the world. No, it wasn't that. It was some sort of a reverse fan situation, but I- So not a Terminator. The Skunk fell into our window well and got trapped. Then the animal control came and shot him twice. And he's like, this is my one move.

This is all I know how to do. I can't get out of here, so here goes. Well, and the animal control guy shot him and missed, with like a tranquilizer thing, and missed him. And then he sprayed again. And then he did it again, and he sprayed on his way out. Now just out of anger. Yeah.

Because he knew he was shot at. Anyway, so it was pretty traumatizing. I can when I smell skunk, I get really scared. And when I see a skunk, I feel nervous. Like, okay, now everything I have is going to smell. Oh, no. I went to school, my backpack reeked so much. And I remember walking into lunch and like everyone's crowded together.

And someone's like, oh, it smells like skunk in here. I was like, oh, it's me, it's me. Oh, you owned up to it though. No, I didn't say it. I just- Oh, you just in your mind. Oh, okay. Why didn't you just pretend

that you like smoked out in your car? I didn't even know about that yet. Oh shit. It's like, yeah, I reek of weed. It's not skunk, I'm I reek of weed. It's not skunk. It's weed. I'm stone. Arrest me, principal. A principal's arrest. Should principals be allowed to arrest children?

We'll take your calls when we come back. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, absolutely not. They do that, you know. Well, for how long though? Have you seen these videos? No, there's really fucked up things that are happening where the police come to the school, a kid gets in trouble and then they arrest them and they're like nine or something.

There's like horrible things that have happened like that. That's so crazy. It's bananas, like they're arresting six year olds and stuff like that. Yeah, it's like, what could you possibly be thinking as a grown adult doing that? It makes me traumatizing. I think that all nine yearyear-olds should be arrested

and then we just let the good ones free. So you think you're our good and bad kids, Scott? Yeah, who are the good ones, Scott? The ones that prove that they're obedient children. Yeah, exactly. Obedient children. So you're like Santa. They have to perform three acts of obedience every day. You're a Santa cop.

Yeah, Santa cop. You're a Santa cop? Who made you Santa cop? That's one of the key lines in the trailer. Let three children free. Scott, what cartoon character would you fight? Well, I said Pepe Le Pew and you immediately shot it down. I forgot. Yeah, I did.

Yeah. I stand by it. Well, you said you first were thinking of Pepe Le Pew, but then did you have another one in your little mind? Hmm. In your tiny mind? I mean, Tasmanian Devil's hilarious. So that would be so fun.

Are you fucking, you have a death wish, bro? You want to get us web site that, you know what? Why was that, why was Looney Tunes so cool to everyone for a second where like everyone had Looney Tunes, like Taz jacket and like stuff like that. That's so weird. Is that what led to Space Jam or did Space Jam lead to that? I think it was Space Jam led to that.

No, because I feel like- As a person who just recently saw it for the first time. Yeah, as a person who just saw Space Jam. But like I remember seeing it- What was your what? Well, I was gonna say, hold on, I'm gonna look at when Space Jam came out. Look at when Space Jam came out.

1996. No, I think this was already happening at this point. I will tell you, I remember seeing, well, no, I feel like it was happening. Maybe that was when it started happening. Yeah, I remember seeing a jean jacket with a picture of Tweety Bird on the back, and he's looking fucking pissed, right?

He's got his little arms folded, and he's got an expression on his face, like you don't wanna cross Tweety Bird, and underneath it said, and your point is. Good shit. That's good. I would wear that real good shit. I want that, I want that, we all want that.

Looney Tunes, why aren't you sponsoring us here on Freedom? Yeah, Looney Tunes, get on the Crocs train. Yeah, this is pretty good. There's a lot of- Looney Tunes wearing Crocs. Can you imagine Tweety Bird in Crocs? That would be so rad. Fudge.

Can you imagine shoe charms that are Crocs? That would be so rad. Oh fudge. Can you imagine shoe charms that are Crocs? Tweety Bird in Crocs is great because his feet are almost Crocs. His feet are Crocs. Yeah. You just need to poke holes in his feet. His feet are almost Crocs. Oh don't do that. I think, I'll go even further, Tweety Bird's head is like a Croc too.

You know what I think? I think his butt, belly, and arms are like crocs. I think Tweety Bird's little beak is like two crocs. Dude is made of crocs. From the top of his head, he's like seven crocs. How many crocs is a Tweety Bird? But I think if you arranged seven crocs in the right order, it would look like Tweety Bird, wouldn't it?

I want to see some croc art now. I want our listeners to make little sculptures out of however many crocs you have in the house, put them all together, try to make a Tweety Bird. OK, I was going to say, let's not embarrass our listeners by making them do that. And then I thought, no, I want to see that. I do want to see it.

I want to see seven crocs. You can't use more than seven. No, seven is the limit. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Take it to the limit. You have a beautiful voice. Seven crocs. Hold on. One more, Tweety.

Oh, you had us hold on just for that. Sure. Sure. You were like, hold on. Hold on, hold on. One more Tweety. Oh, you had us hold on just for that. Sure, sure. You were like, hold on, hold on, hold on. One more Tweety. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Everyone shut up for a second. Hold on, hold on. One more Tweety.

I don't know if I told you guys this story. There was a night that I heard it. I heard it. We both did. You heard my nighttime story already Yeah Wait, all of your other stories have taken place during the day every other story I've ever told you took place during the day. Oh my gosh. Yes

So now it puts it sheds a whole new light daylight on a lot of those stories. Okay. Yeah Cuz a lot of them you were picturing happening at night, but no broad daylight Wow They all happen at noon every story I've ever told you has happened at noon. So this is your first nighttime story. This is exciting. This is my one and only nighttime story. Oh, this is the only one you have. OK, nothing else on deck.

This is the only time. No, so far, I mean, look, life is long. Who knows? But so far, this is the one thing of interest that's happened to me at night. What's weird is you're mainly awake at night, and you only are awake for one hour of daylight, you were telling me. I know, but everybody else is asleep.

Oh, okay, so everything happens to you in that one hour. So you stay up all night long. Everything happens in that one hour. I stay up all night long. I'm awake, let's see, I'm awake from 11.59 to 1.01 PM and then I'm asleep the rest of the time. Right. Okay. Yeah. All right, I'd buy it. Wait, no, is that right? No, I stay up all night. Yeah, I don I'm asleep the rest of the time. Right. Okay. Yeah. I know. Is that right? No. Yeah. I stay up all night.

You described it completely wrong because you basically say you stay up all morning. I stay up. Okay. So I have, so most of my stories happen in the daytime, but I do stay up all night. Other than the fact that half the night you're asleep. Yeah. And I'm exhausted. Other than the fact that half the night you're asleep. Yeah, and I'm exhausted. My circadian rhythms were all a-rock.

A-rock, my circadian rhythms were all a-rock. Tell your nighttime story, Paul. I was recording... Paul, we want to hear the nighttime story. Paulie, Paulie, tell your nighttime story, please. We want to hear it. I was recording with Super Ego and a bunch of other people.

We were doing this big fun project and we were recording for a while. Everyone's getting giddy and we're really having fun. And earlier in the evening, somehow there was talk of Coney 2012. This may have been when it happened in 2012. What was that? Not really sure. Joseph Kony, not a great guy.

And I guess in 2012, what happened? A little puppet from the Ed Sullivan show. Oh my God. Kony 2012. My name is Kony 2012. And so... I'm a waiter. It had been a reference earlier in the evening.

And then at the end of the night, I can't remember who it was. They came up with like the perfect punchline that wrapped up the whole, like the whole, the perfect button on the whole thing. Everyone was laughing and I had this weird thought in my head and I knew what I was doing, but it's still, as everyone is laughing, like one second and everyone's laughter at this thing that was perfect. I said, wait, wait, wait, wait,

and everyone stopped. And I said, Coney 2012. And then a couple people felt bad and laughed. And I was like, no, it wasn't. In my mind, the point was, this thing that was just said was perfect. What I'm saying is lame and that was funny to me. I get that.

But no one could get that at that moment. No, everybody was like, oh no, he really thought that was gonna be even funnier. Oh my God, that kills me. It was mortifying. Is it like, it's always the worst. I mean, it happens all the time when you're a funny person that you will say things that aren't funny.

Like it just- Thank you. I mean, but it's just, it's a natural part of being funny. You're gonna have some clunkers for sure. But it's the worst feeling in the world, I think. Like when you're like, think something's gonna be funny and then it's not. I would rather bomb on stage than have a joke

not go over in front of people in life. What's worse is when you say something really funny and your two friends shit on you and say it's not funny, but it actually is funny. God. Did you say something funny? That doesn't happen to me. I think you guys are always very generous with your laughter.

Oh my God. I think you guys are always very generous with your laughter. Oh my god. I know right? We're silly. I think we're silly guys. We're so silly. Okay wait, so when is this episode coming out? The Thursday after Christmas. Well, can we just admit that we're recording it before Christmas? Mmm, no. Oh, God.

I will never admit it. So what are you guys going to talk about? I will never admit it. You'll never get out of me. Why do you want to admit that? Because I want to ask if you're excited for Christmas. Seems more like an off-mic conversation. It's the first Christmas. Oh, that people like to hear us talk of like friends.

It's the first Christmas. Ever. Well, no. No, there's been tons. I don't remember a single one. I was just gonna say that I haven't gone home in two years. Name a year. Zero.

You don't remember when the angel Galadriel came? Wait a minute, wait a minute. With my boys with the frankincense and shit my god. Wait, I had a solo in seventh grade choir chorus and it was it was I distinctly remember walking up to the microphone to do this. Okay, it's not even it's not even

Particularly funny or anything. It's not even it's not even Particularly funny or anything. It's funny that I did this. I was just a little dork, but I went Brother brother Have you heard the news it's from the angel Gabriel every word is true. The Lord said down his only son to help our children live as one. Yeah. That's, that's, that was nice. That's pretty adorable.

Let me ask you this. Oh my God. I, I, I, I, look, I was raised with religion. I went to Catholic school and all that, blah, blah, blah. Church every Sunday. Of course I would go to midnight mass. I loved it. But what I don't remember is, I don't, did they, did the angel Gabriel give everybody the whole story? Like, hey, God has sent his only son to redeem everybody by dying a grisly death. If you think I know the answer to that.

I'm just throwing it out to the group. Literally the extent of my knowledge is what I just sang to you. Wait, what was the Gabriel story again? Who did he? Who did he? I sang everything I know. That's all I got, buddy.

Who did he appear in front of? Like the shepherds? Mary. Well, yeah, I think that he appeared to the shepherds. First to Mary, and it was like, guess what? You have no choice in this. You're pregnant. Boom, gotcha pregnant.

Then he appeared to the shepherds, and he was like, everybody fucking relax. Baby Jesus is being born. Everything's gonna be good, okay? Stop being afraid of me. I know I'm scary to you. Yeah, so after announcing Jesus' name and identity, Gabriel explained to Mary that it would be a virgin birth

caused by the Holy Spirit. And the Lord's servant, Mary answered, may your word to me be fulfilled. Can you fucking imagine? After this, Gabriel left. He does not appear in the Bible again, at least by name. Oh. So he appears out of it. So some other angel.

He appears to Daniel, he appears to Zechariah, and then he appears to Mary, and then he pieces out. Wow. And that's fascinating to me, because when you really think about it. Can you imagine sending one of your best friends to tell your girlfriend that she's pregnant from you? But in this scenario also, your girlfriend is,

your best friend, somebody has never seen you, right? Yeah. They just know of your existence, they believe that you exist. But Gabriel didn't impregnate her. I know, that's what my point is, you sent your friend to go like, oh, hey, by the way, I'm gonna- Oh. Or- He was just there to enunciate it. Send your best friend to tell your girl or

a girl you're interested in that your girl you're going to get pregnant by. Tell your crush that God is going to impregnate you. Hey, tell my crush. Hey, can you pass this note to Mary? I bet you someone's already done some web series like that where it's like, little teens having the Bible happen. I'm sorry, did you say little teens having the Bible happen? Yeah. Little teens having the Bible happen. Of course.

Little teens having the Bible happen. Little teens having the Bible happen. Did he have a Bible in it? Did he have a Bible in it? I didn't have a Bible in it. It's a Bible, isn't it? Guys, we have to take a break. Okay. More about the first Christmas when we come back.

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Did it have a Bible in it? Did it have a Bible in it? Do you remember, have you guys seen a spy movie? I have not. The one that is by Brian Jordan Alvarez. Oh, I thought you meant any spy movie. They made a movie. Have you seen a single spy movie?

It's on YouTube. That actor, Taylor, but never seen it. I haven't watched it yet. But I love- It's so funny. I love the stuff they do. It's just so silly. And you know, Stephanie's so funny. I love the stuff they do. It's just so silly. And you know, Stephanie kind of wrote and directed and edited the whole thing.

Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, it's really funny. It's extremely silly. It's very much them and what they do. But there's a character in it that I think is inspired by one of the Mission Impossible movies had a bad guy. They don't like this.

You gonna get Mr. Filch me got email. You're in trouble. I'm sorry, what was that noise? I was opening up the movie. I wanted to just, you know. Sounded like you were doing an impression and was doing two voices at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to have like a Brian Jordan Alvarez hole a couple of years ago, and one of the videos that I loved so much, he's made, well, he has a couple, he has a web series called The Secret Life of Caleb Gallo that I really loved. And he also had, or the Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo.

I just mixed up the Secret life of the American teenager. The gay and wondrous life of Kebagal. Slow tat. Yeah. And you really put that together quickly. That we did that on best we could. Oh, did you? We refer to it as slow tat, yeah.

That's funny. But that was, it did come from me, of course. But they also made a really funny one called, I think it's called Web Series the Movie. And it's really hilarious. And I even played it for my mom and she thought it was great. You and your mom?

Well, I just mean, it's the kind of thing that maybe if you weren't like, if you didn't know the people, I wasn't sure if it would be, if it would translate to like just a random person watching it and she thought it was great. One mom's agrees. So nice you consider your mom to be a random person watching it, and she thought it was cool. One mom's agrees. Yeah. So nice you consider your mom to be a random person. Yeah.

She's so random. My mom is so random. My mom is so random. So random? So it's so random. It's so random. Speaking of Australian accents, have you watched, what's it called?

Hold on. I'm gonna get it. A Relay Race. No. No? I'm out of guesses. Yeah, Aretha Franklin. Love on the Spectrum.

Have we talked about this? No, I've heard it's great. I've heard it's great. Re-recap, yeah. I've heard it's great. I've heard it's great. Recap, yeah. I've heard it's great. I don't think I want to watch it. Why? You don't really like reality?

I don't like shows like that to begin with. And... But it's not what you might think. I don't think it's mean. I've heard it's not. No, it's definitely not. It's super heartwarming. And the people on it, so it's for anyone who doesn't know,

the show is an Australian reality show about people on the spectrum dating each other or dating in the world and going on dates. And then they have like- They're either dating each other or they're dating in the world. Exactly, well, some of them are both on the show, is what I mean by that.

Now you have a choice. You can either date each other or you can date in the world. What's it gonna be? It can equal it. They help them with a dating coach who tells them stuff to say or how to have a conversation. God, I wish I had one of those.

Yeah. You would have really benefited. You had a lot of girlfriends though, Scott. It still worked out. It's true. You did okay. Maybe you should be the dating coach, Scott. Here's the real question.

Yeah. Do we want to hear about everyone's second roommate? Oh my God. Oh shit. Is it really time? Roommate reminiscence. Reminiscence. Roommate reminiscence.

Roommate reminiscence. Oh my God. Zoom. Roommate reminiscence. Ruminate on that. I guess we could. I was wondering if you were gonna remember because I did not.

Yeah, I didn't remember it at all. Paul, though, when we last left off roommate reminiscence, you had broken up with- Linda. The woman from Linda. Linda. Was it Linda? Lori.

Lori. And she worked at- I felt really confident about that. She worked at- The Wicked Witch of the West. No. Wound Up, all wound up. Close, very close. That's about time.

From the ground up. That's about time. Woundound tight. That's about time. What did you call it? Wound tight? No. All wound up. I think you already said that.

The word wound is standing in for another word. Oh, a wound. God's wounds. God's wound and wound. Yeah, God's wounds. God's wounds and it's clocks. God's wounds and it sells, we sold wind up to religious wind up toys. A wound, wound the clock.

Wound and bound. That's closer actually. Round the clock. Wound. Wound. Wound, okay, bound. Wound. Wound. Okay, bound. Wound. Wound. Wound. I want to say it was a wound.

Wound. I feel like it was wound. Paul, just tell it to us. What was it? Win on time against ten times. It was the last wound up. There we go. It was?

Yeah, it was. Wow. Why is Josh telling us like you don't have time to guess 10 times. It was the last wound up. There we go. It was? Yeah, it was. Wow. Why is Josh telling us like you don't know, Paul? Josh just chatted the last wound up. He's trying to help us cheat.

Okay, so you- Well, I can see it too. So he just wanted it to be over. So you- And I worked at Hats in the Belfry. And you break it off with her So you, uh, you, and I worked at hats in the Belfry. And you break it off with her and you're like, baby, we can't be roommates no more. I got to live. I can't be tied down. She's like, you're 19.

Did she stay? Did she stay in the apartment? Did you stay in the apartment? Yeah, she stayed in the apartment. And you left. You? I left. I moved. I think I moved back home for a little bit. Oh, then I got an apartment back down. No, I was the one who initiated the breakup. But you guys looked sad. Which is ridiculous. Yeah, I guess I guess I was sad. I was not, I was not bereft in that way because I was dumb.

Sometimes when I think back to stuff like that, that I did, I'm like so embarrassed. Oh, it's mortifying. Yeah. My entire life, I want to say before the age of 41 is mortifying. So I've said that a few years ago until I'll be not mortified. I think you're doing okay, Lauren Lapkus.

Okay. I love everything I've ever done. I think I aced it. Well, Lauren Lapkus. Okay. I love everything I've ever done. I think I aced it. Well, that's obvious. Yeah. You think you nail every interaction. I think that shows through. And then I got an apartment,

I was in an apartment with, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I had a bunch of roommates at the same time. Whoa, meaning they all moved in at the same time? We all moved into this house together, this row house. Well, what happens here, just for everyone who plays this game, now we're gonna hear roommates two through whatever,

you know, with you. Yeah, because if they're all at this- And then we're gonna go on to the next person and hear two through wherever you left off. We do it by living space, not by the person. Although, although you do it by chronologically, meaning if you had three roommates and then one moves out and another one moves in,

that one who moves in, that's your next one. That doesn't count for this one. So you call that number three? Yeah. Okay. Okay, so what were the first ones? I moved into this house with two people that I knew and a stranger.

It was my old comedy partner, Rick, his girlfriend and my friend, Jules, and oh, what was his fucking name I think his name was Mike Todd Todd Todd Todd Rick and Jules all worked as carriage drivers and I did not I was the sole retail worker in the house where where would they drive the carriages around is there a certain part of Philly that that is like a touristy? Yes. I think there were a few companies,

and they would have different tours that they would do. And they would point out to them. They worked for one of the companies? Or they? They worked for one of the companies, and they would point out Independence Hall and blah, blah, blah. Different historical places. Sounds like a good place.

Philadelphia has a lot of them. It has a Liberty Bell. Oh, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, I mean, I could count. Mount Rushmore. Yeah, the Statue of Liberty. Arlington Cemetery.

Yeah, yeah, it's the birthplace of Liberty. And this was the- When I was there with Gabris, I made him walk like 30 minutes to Sweet Green. He's like, just some random... I just wanted it. He's like, okay. Philly's also one of those places where you probably passed a million places to eat on your way to Sweet Green. Yes, and there was no COVID.

There was no COVID. Fucking hell. That was one of my favorite shows I've ever done, was that show with you guys in Philly. That was really fun. That was a blast. We did a race by TV live, and it was a blast. So fun.

Oh wait, no, I wasn't there. Yeah, sorry. You wouldn't have wanted to come. You really wouldn't have, Scott. It wasn't what I wanted I wasn't there. Yeah, sorry. You wouldn't have wanted to come. You really wouldn't have, Scott. It wasn't what I wanted. How do you know what I want or don't want? There were no comic books anywhere. I can guess.

Forget it. So we lived in this house, which was not, I remember the house was pretty good, but we were all, nobody was really that responsible. So things would get shut off. Like we had a phone that we all shared that got shut off and never turned back on again. I think our gas got turned off

so we couldn't cook in the house. So when your phone got turned off, you're just like, I don't have a phone. There's no way to reach me. Calling at work. That's 100% right. Yes, this was way before cell phones. So you had to be like, I'm going to go to a pay phone to call somebody. Yeah, although I feel like you just called people less back then.

You know, like you made, you sort of made plans in person. Oh no, I remember you always, well, I mean, unless you were hanging out with them, like at school. Paul, I think you made plans were hanging out with them, like at school. Paul, I think you made plans in person because you didn't have a phone. Yeah. It's weird because I remember it like, you just made plans in person

and not on that phone that didn't work. I used to remember I would write letters to people to ask them to hang out. But I later, but hold on a second. I did not have a phone, not have a phone from that point until yesterday It's a razor phone from 2004 oh Yesterday I love that phone. I loved the Razer phone so much.

I was the shit, bitch. I had the classic silver. I loved it. I loved it too. I thought it was so great. Well, we should do a phone roundup. I had my... Oh yeah.

We should do a phone roundup. I had my... First I had a pager, then I had a singular... That's not a phone. But it was cool because you could call the pager and then there was an operator who would type the message to me, so it'd be like a text. Right. But it was always fucked up.

Then I had my singular wireless phone, which was almost like an egg shape and it was so cool. I loved it. I remember getting a couple of text messages in my bedroom, but they were 10 cents a piece. I couldn't get in trouble by texting too much. Then I had the hot pink razor. Then I got the Blackberry Pearl.

Then I got the iPhone. Wait, we're doing the phone roundup right now? I'm just, I'm already, I'm already through it. She's so excited for it. I'm already through it. You can't stop her. Then I had the Macberry Pearl, then I got the iPhone. Wait, we're doing the phone roundup right now? I'm already through it. She's so excited for it. I'm already through it. You can't stop her. Then I had the iPhone until now, and I got all the different iPhones ever.

I had, first was the, like the StarTAC, it was like a little black phone. Was it like a flip phone? Phones started out very small. First, well, mobile phones started out huge, then they got extremely small. That must have been really exciting. And then they got big with smartphones again.

It was very exciting. Then I had the Blackberry Pearl. And then I got- I love that one. That little ball. Is that from Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah. Wow.

BlackBedding K. It's haunted. It's a haunted phone. And then I got the iPhone. Wow. And it's got the iPhone. Wow. And that's been great ever since. But you know what I really, really want is that I really want that Samsung phone that has a screen and folds in half.

The whole screen folds in half. That seems ridiculous to me. I want that, but I don't want to be green on the text chain and ruin it for everyone. I thought they've just fixed that. I don't know. Oh, I don't think so. No, no, they certainly haven't. They'll never fix that. I have a few key people in my life who are green.

They're proud of it. Well, let's see. I had a phone and I don't remember what it was. And then... Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I also had a Nokia phone in there somewhere. Because I remember playing Snake. Well, I had the Nokia ringtone.

That must have been what I had, a Nokia. I had the Nokia ringtone on my iPhone for years as a joke. Pretty funny. It's pretty funny. Oh shit. So Lauren made the joke and then Scott heightened it. This is what the pros do. We're back to roommate roundabout. I mean, I can't, I can't hear on Scott's phones.

I don't have time. I'm saying I have a Nokia and then I, then I had other phones. Okay, great. So you don't know what I'm talking have time. I'm saying I had a Nokia and then I then I had other phones. Okay, great. So you don't want to talk about it either. Okay, Scott had phones with nude ladies on them. That's why he doesn't want to talk about them. I had a Nokia and then I had a snake game making to a nude lady. Then you had a nude Kia. It took hours.

But it was worth it. And it was all just the trace in his memory of how he made it. You couldn't really see it ever. It burned into the screen. Yeah. I remember that I would get emails on that Nokia, and in order to type them out, you had to press, like, each button. You liked to do E or whatever.

T9. T9. Yeah. I love T9. I was so good at T9. I was really good at T9. These are skills that we have that go away. What do you guys feel about cursive going away?

Like the boot black. What do we feel about what? Cursive going away. I mean, it's too bad. I love cursive. Is it going away? They don't teach it in school, I think. I think they teach it. What?

They just teach typing now? But I did typing in school and cursive. Well, I did typing in eighth grade, but I did cursive in like third grade. I did typing in school and cursive. Well, I did typing in eighth grade, but I did cursive in like third grade. I did typing in senior year and almost didn't graduate because of it. But I think they do typing sooner now. They should. They should, for sure. It's a good skill.

And it's important. They need to know how to do it. But I just was sad. I'm okay with cursive going away. I don't know. I'm sad. I want them to know how to read it, the generation before us. You can probably still. After us, I mean. There's something intuitive about it though,

reading it, right? I don't think you'd be, look at it like this is a foreign language. Really? I mean, are Gs, I guess Gs are the biggest difference. No, but no, because if you're just printing a lowercase G, it looks like a,

no, yeah, the uppercase G doesn't look like the printed uppercase G. No, it doesn't. It's true. It looks like a shield or something, doesn't it? Oh, yes. A shield. Yeah. So if your name is like, Greg, your name is your name is shield. R E. Yeah. Shield. Mini shield.

Mini shield. Paul, tell us more about this. I want to know what the roommates. Okay, so the thing that the two most notable things are, well, there's a few notable things. Rick and Jules had a terrible relationship. They fought all the time and very loudly. And eventually Rick moved out. Todd would sometimes, he would come home after work. These guys would get home late at night and Todd would fall asleep sitting up in the living room.

up in the living room. At one point, Jules got a dog, didn't really clear this with the rest of the house. She cleared it with Rick, but not with the other two of us. The guy who didn't live there anymore? Or he was there? This is before. Yeah, she's still clearing everything with him. Hey, is it cool if I don't flush? Is it cool if I don't flush? And he, so she got this dog, and I've mentioned this dog before to you guys. This is a dog that would bite you if you talked baby talk to it.

Oh, wow, what a specific problem. Yes, and this dog also was left alone because they would go out to work, and I would go out to work, and the dog was just in the house by itself and would shit all over the Geez and I would have to come home and clean it up because I was the only one there That sucks. Yeah, it sucks Sucked it saw it. I definitely have lived with people who would have just let it be on the ground Really? I have at least one. No. Yeah, I'm not sure and you know what, I bet this is such a risky game, this roommate roundup. It is. I have one that I think would have done that, who I barely know at all.

I only lived with, he was a stranger when I moved in with him. But I also feel like he kind of knows what I'm up to these days. Oh yeah, so you don't want to say that too much about him. I don't know if Jules is listening to this. Jules was a lovely person. She was a dear friend of mine and I hope she's doing well. Yeah, should have checked about that dog though. Should have checked about that dog.

That was a weird decision. But that dog's name was Mrs. Beasley. That's cute. Can I ask a question? Is there any human being named Fido? I'll Google. Yeah. I believe that there is, and it's Fido Dido,

who came to life 10 years ago. Fido the person. But you know how that's just, it's just a dog name. Like why is it exclusively for dogs? Why is Fido, where did it even come from? That's a dog name. Like, why is it exclusively for dogs? Why is Fido? Where did it even come from? That's a good question. You know, like why do dogs have a lock on Fido?

I'd like to be Fido. The name Fido comes from the Latin meaning to trust or confide in. In short, I am faithful. Not surprisingly, Abraham Lincoln named his dog Fido around five years before he became president. Having suffered from bouts of depression, pets often pulled him from anguish.

That's just something I know in my memory. Jesus, pulled him from anguish. What a weird third sentence on the Wikipedia entry for Fido. It's not what he is from. We're suddenly getting into Abe Lincoln's depression. It's from fitbark.com. Do we have to drag my depression into everything? Leave me out of it.

Not surprisingly, he named his own Fido five years before becoming president. In your reminiscence then, Paul. Doesn't make sense at all. Yeah. Uh, what's his name moved out? And then you then you add two roommates, but was not replaced. Oh, no, Rick was replaced. Rick was, but that's an entirely new thing. Baron hangs a tail for another time.

You gotta let it, leave him wanting more. Yep. Yep. Yep. Mine's going to be anti-climactic. So can I go next? Is it cool up? No. I got married to Cool Up, my second roommate. Mine I've talked about before.

It's the two guys that I have parties and the, hey, I belong here in the trash. Classic, classic. I forgot about I belong here in the trash. What was it? He was in garbage music. He was upset that my one roommate took the magazine salesman girl into his bedroom

to have sex with her because he kind of liked her. And so he went inside the cupboard where we kept the trashcan and said, I'll just be in here because I belong here with the trash. And he said it not as a joke. No, he was serious. He was not pulled from his anguish by a pet.

Nope. And wait, so the I have parties guy was the one who was boning his crush. Yeah, boning away. Yeah. And because he was the cool one and the other guy felt... He was the cool one? Yeah, yeah, I know. But I...

For a while, we shared... Airtight. Me and the trash guy shared a room where we both... Trash guy. We both slept on like couch cushions on the ground. This was after you got rid of your pullout couch? Yeah, I got rid of the pullout couch. So I just had the, I had the cushions and we both were like on separate ends of the room on like couch cushions.

Guys are so weird like that. I feel like so many guys I know are like, I'll slip on the floor or whatever. whatever, or they did, you know? Well, when I was in the military, when I was in the military, it was like, you know, I got used to sleeping on the cold ground, you know, until now. When I couldn't do a bed, it feels weird, you know? When I was in prison, I slept on a thin cot and so I can only be comfortable that way. Yeah. It is wild how much squalor that young men put up with.

It's like they want to be gross. No, nobody wants to. I just didn't know where I could get a bed. It was one of those things. Don't all your friends have one? Can't you be like, how'd you get that? No, that's the thing, like ask one person, you could have told me and I would have been,

oh, okay, really? I could just ask someone where to get a bed. Don't all your friends have one? But also- I mean, in that place, I had a mattress on the floor in my bedroom. Well, yeah. I mean, no guy had a bed frame until they got a girlfriend

and the girlfriend- Until the early 2000s. But yeah, that's the thing is I was living on literally $75 a week and I would rather- I helped many guys get into bed frames. Yeah, I bet you did. I was like, hey, we can't be living like this. Gar!

Okay, but, you wanna hear about my roommates? So. By the way, by the way, by the way, I do have to put a capper on the end of the story of when did our roommate reminiscence end. At the end of the semester, this is my second semester, this is where I live for my second semester. And by the way, when my first roommate moved out, I could not afford the apartment.

And so the only person in our school who still needed a roommate was this girl, Stacey. And she wanted to move in and I told my parents and we were not together or had any kind of romantic relationship. It was just- But her mom did have it going on. Sure, of course. Stacey's mom has kind of romantic relationship. It was just- But her mom did have it going on.

Sure, of course. Yeah, she was gorgeous. It's got it going on. And I said to my parents, I said to my parents, hey, the only roommate I can get is this girl, Stacey. And they said, well, we don't want you living with a woman. So we'll just- Sinful, sinful.

We'll pay the extra rent for the month until you can find a different roommate. So I lived alone on Christmas and to cheer myself up, I got a big Christmas tree and the needles were all over the floor when I moved out and I just left them there and lost my entire deposit. So anyway- Just because of pine needles on the floor?

Yeah. Oh my God, I've had landlords get me for this shit, man. I had a- It's so hard to get a deposit back. Outlet cover that was cracked that I didn't notice. And I think they charged me hundreds of dollars. And I tried to fight it and then they got bitchy and I was like, this is so stupid. Yeah. You bitchy.

Anyways. So anyway- That money's just gone. So my- That money's just gone. The trash guy and I have parties guy, we ended my second semester of college as friends. And but then I moved back home for the summer and we didn't need to be roommates anymore. So there was no drama there.

Nice. Well, I'm glad. That's the way I wish all roommate reminiscences would end. Yeah. Now, Scott, let me ask you this about the pullout couch. You kept the cushions. Did you just throw away the couch itself?

I think we just, like, I left it out on the street or something like that. And I, to be honest, I don't know where the cushions were because I did not keep those cushions. I don't know where those cushions were that I slept on in the other place. These are different cushions. These are different couch cushions.

And I feel like it was one of my new roommates, like when I was casting about like, hey, what place do we have? They were like, well, we have this couch, we can just put the cushions down on the floor if you wanted to sleep on those for the bed. I was like, yeah, okay. And did your legs go off the end?

No, I think we like had enough cushions that they didn't. And did you stay perfectly still all night? No, I think we had enough cushions that they didn't. And did you stay perfectly still all night? No, I used to sleep really well and don't remember having any trouble. And actually, I had, like I was dating and they came over and like stayed there. They weren't happy about it, Scott. They weren't happy about that.

Like the roommate was very quiet. My roommate was silent on his couch cushions, but we boinked on my couch cushions. And the women never complained! So sometimes, sometimes we would, like I would just be in the living room with her if she were staying over. And then sometimes I remember like us all three sleeping in the same room. So I don't know, like he'd get home after we were-

Yeah, I mean, I get it, but it's not cool. No. No, it's not great. Not great, but great. It's good that those times are in the past. It's not great, but you do what you gotta do. But being a super poor college student, you do what you gotta do.

Yeah. You fuck on the couch cushions. Okay, so my, I moved out of the dorms because I got some friends from my improv classes that I had been doing since I was a senior in college into my freshman year. And they had, one of them, Mary Beth, had an apartment with,

it was a three bedroom that she was living in, and her two roommates were moving out. And so she asked if me and my friend, who you know from Comedy Bang Bang, as Molly Brathauer, played the vampire or something. Yeah. Vampire. Yeah. Or dike you lie. Believe it was. Yeah, that's right.

I forgot about that. And we moved in together. It was very exciting because we were all good friends and it was just the best time ever. And that last we had the best parties there. We had a huge apartment that was like in Boys Town. Hmm? You went to those parties?

I had parties. I did have parties all the time. And we would post on the improv message board that we're having a party and everyone can come. And then it would just be- Everyone who does improv. Until calls would show up. Oh, sure.

Everyone went. Everyone who does improv can come. Everyone who does improv can come. Everyone who does improv can come. And there'd be... Dean Roberts would come by. You know, he didn't let everybody, if he did, he would have. We had them all.

Everyone was there. Ah! Ah! And it was always great. And that lasted for a year. And then she then Molly moved out and my new best friend Candy moved in. And that was very fun as well.

Do you mean literally Candy? We can't talk about Candy, that's your next roommate. You're right, you're right. True. All right, so that's where it ends. So Molly was your? It was just you and Molly? Molly and Mary Beth.

Mary Beth, we had tables at Second City and she was a little bit older than us, a few years older, and so she was like the one who kind of like knew how to be an adult. And we learned a lot. She had a real job. And we were both in college, so

it was just a blast, you know? Just smoking doobies and sitting on the couch. And we were both in college. So it was just a blast, you know, just smoking doobies and sitting on the couch. Yeah. Well, I should say that at my job at that time of those roommates, I worked at a store called In General, which was a sort of modern take, I swear to God. I swear.

It's so absurd. It was a modern take on a general store, which meant that they sold like housewares, there was, it was two levels. They had housewares upstairs, like plates and cups and shit like that. Usually the, yeah, all that stuff is downstairs. Downstairs was the stuff that brought people into the store.

It was like fun stuff that brought people into the store. Like what? Like this little fucking novelties and toys and like funny calendars and shit like that. I like that kind of story. That was the place where I was sitting on the steps and a woman was scared of the inflatable snake that was hanging on the side of the steps.

And I wiggled it as she walked. Fuck. And you ruined her life. I ruined her life. And to this day, I don't know why I did that. I wish I had not done that. Was she so scared? Yes, she was.

Heart attack city. Just about, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's awesome. And it was a weird compulsion that I have never felt before or since. I love it. Wow.

But that makes you feel guilty when you do something like that. Oh, it's a horrible, horrible. You've never been. Yeah. Well, I think in my mind, I was like, come on, this isn't a, you know, it's not a real snake, come on, you're really this scared. But it's sometimes you're just not expecting something to move. And that's scary. Oh no. But she was, she was scared of it before I did anything.

It was like this inflatable thing. It was clearly fake hanging on the side of the steps and, and, um, she like recoiled from it. Like when she was on the floor and her friend said, yeah, she's very afraid of snakes. I hate, I don't buy that. I don't buy that. You can't be afraid of a cartoon snake. I have to say, have I told you-

You can't if it suddenly comes to life. When you walk up the stairs. Well, that's okay. Have I told you guys this before, but the comedy bang bang TV show, we had one of the executives was so afraid of snakes that we could not write snakes into the show. No.

We were not allowed because they said, she won't be able to watch the episode, so she won't be able to approve the episode if there's a snake in it. Oh, my. She's sort of hypnotized. Any comedy sketch that had a snake. So, at one point, just to be funny or whatever, we wrote one sketch that went up the chain of, like,

it was attack of the snakes and it was just like 10 pages of snakes jumping out all the time. And we're like, Hey, this is, this is the sketch we're really interested in doing next. And it came back like they were like, we can't even show this to her. There's no way you can ever do this. And we're like, what? That's, it's really funny though. Don't you think they? I'm very intrigued. Did you try to write it as a funny sketch? Did you actually try to make it a real sketch? It was purely just snakes jumping out.

And then another snake comes out. We were like, it's really funny though. Don't you think? They didn't even read it. They just saw a snake and they were like, we can't have this happen. But if you see a snake in the first couple of years, it's because we snuck one past and they were like, okay, we'll give you one, we'll give you one. Why did you need to have one? Cause you wanted to have one because of the-

Every once in a while there'd be a sketch, I remember there being a sketch where someone was standing in a waiting pool with like a bunch of snakes, garter snakes or something. Yeah, there's snakes in there. Yeah, absolutely. Snakes are good with coffee. I think it's time to do a three-chair honestly.

Well, we gotta take a break. I know. Yeah, so we'll be right back. Weight loss, it needs to be fast and sustainable. Noom GLP-1 starts at just $149 and ships to your door in seven days. Take it from Clay Vossier, who lost 35 pounds on Noom. It's a psychological thing too.

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And I'm Karla Gallo, and we're here to bring you Boneheads. Boneheads. The official Bones rewatch podcast. 16 years ago, we met on the set of the TV show Bones and have been friends ever since. I played Dr. Temperance Brennan. And I played Daisy Wick. We're starting from the top and working our way

through all 246 episodes. The show last a very long time. Very long. Tune in every Wednesday to laugh with us, to cry with us, to cringe with us, and hear all our juicy behind-the-scenes stories. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, everyone, we're back. And we...

Everyone, we're back. And we... Everyone, we're back. Actually, this reminds me of one of my favorite... cameos that I've seen of Ryan Cabrera, the singer, who would sing the song. I think he did it to Ashleigh Simpson, he'd sing, -♪ On the way down... -♪ Something like that. Anyway, he has this cameo where he, he like, is like, saying happy birthday,

and he's like, so out of of breath and I don't know why. He's like, hey, hey Amanda, I was supposed to say happy birthday and I was gonna say wish you a happy birthday. Happy birthday, bud. And I'm like, did he just run up a flight of stairs? I can't believe it's your birthday. This was a cameo that he was doing? Yeah.

It's time for a three-cher. It was a long episode, friends. This episode is called, I mean, this game is called Lyrical Synonyms. It was submitted by at underscore, oh, that's rich. One player recites the lyrics of a song using as many synonyms as possible. The other two try to guess the song. For example, the lot of us together the lot of us together resided in amber underwater vessel. Got it. Yellow submarine.

Yes. Okay, so we all live in a yellow submarine. Now we can begin. Do we have to, now let's decide. Do we guess just the song? We can look up the lyrics. I was gonna say we should be able to Google the lyrics because- I was gonna say, do we have to guess let's decide do we guess just the song? We can look up the lyrics. I was gonna say we should be able to Google the lyrics because yeah. I was gonna say do we have to guess the entire

lyric or just the song title? We have to decipher what is being said. Yeah we have to decipher what song the other person is reading the lyrics to. You'll know the song title because... I know we have to guess the title but we also have to decipher the entire lyric. Yeah okay. Okay. I don't know why we would have to do that, but all right. Well, I think you would decipher it. If you know the song, you'd be able to go, oh, it's this. Let's see what happens.

Let's see what happens. That's the way the best features start, is let's see what happens. Okay. And maybe- Also the worst ones. Okay. Okay, I could go. Okay. Okay, I could go.

Okay. Okay. One such as I did not intend to bring about feelings of dismay in you. to bring about feelings of dismay in you. And one such as I certainly never thought. I didn't mean to turn you on. No, didn't certainly never thought that. I never meant to hurt you,

but I'm afraid to let you go. No, I never meant to hurt you, but I'm afraid to let you go. No, I never meant to hurt you, but I'm afraid to let you go. Once again, I certainly never meant for any feelings of discomfort to be... I don't wanna make you cry. No, you gotta guess it's song title. You can't just say it.

I don't wanna make you cry. That's not a song. All that I desired was in a singular instance to visualize you chortling and guffawing. All I desired was to visualize you chortling and guffawing inside the inside the the the the the the the the the the egg plant colored weather

weather conditions. Oh, purple rain! I just wanna see you laugh. I only wanna see you laugh in the purple rain. Purple rain. Purple rain. Purple rain. Good. Okay, my turn.

Okay. Okay. Okay. This is hard, yeah, for sure. Okay. Um... Lauren started acting it before a word came out. She's like, got very sincere and did a hand gesture like...

Come into... your existence. It is a lack of looking in the past, Including during slumber. You sleep. We'll see. You being the best, the most perfect version of yourself. Spin your behind on the woman who encompasses Earth. All people desire to. All people desire to. Shake your booty down to the ground. All people desire to.

Everyone wants, everyone wants that something, no. Not everyone, all people. Everybody wants to rule the world. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to your life. To your life. Right? D-d-d-d-d-ding, d-d-d-d-d-ding.

Oh, makes me think of the Dennis Miller show. Oh, wow. But you always think of the Dennis Miller show. What doesn't remind me of that guy? Okay, your turn. All right. Acting you better be Scott, I'm trying to think of synonyms. Turn your back on Mother Nature

Everybody wants to Mother Nature Sounds like Robert Hazzard. Everybody wants to know. That'd be a good cover. We're riding on the escalator of life. We're shopping in the human mall. Keep going. Alright. Here is mine.

Okay. Pardon. Pardon. Have you observed? Excuse me while I kiss the sky. Pardon me, boy, is that the Chattanooga choo-choo? Yes, my synonym for pardon was pardon. Excuse me. Pardon.

Are you able to observe now that the sun has risen? Excuse me. Can you see the object of the object of our admiration, allegiance, back when the sun had just gone down. So, is sun a synonym for? It's got like big fat lines. It's got strong twinkly things. Stars, stars, big fat lines, stars and stripes. Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light?

That's correct. Star Spangled. That's your favorite song. The only song that matters. Yes. What's it called? When it's free. What? Public domain. I did a public domain song just in case.

Oh, that's smart. I'm always looking out for us, guys. We didn't want to be shut down this week. These synonyms, they're going to know that we're singing a song that is copyrighted. Your honor, they describe the song using synonyms in an effort to subvert the payment policy. Well, guys, that was fun.

I enjoyed that. That was fun. I did have fun. I enjoyed the challenge of it. I enjoyed spending time with you on the last three episode of 2021. Wow. Can you believe it?

I actually can't believe that 2021 is over. I actually find that disgusting. You find it disgusting. Yeah, it's disgusting. This was a great year. I'm sorry to see it go. I can only imagine next year is gonna be even better. I have a question. I have a question.

Should meeting each other briefly, should we not remember that? And should it not pop into our brains ever? With the AM hours of... Scott, I think I know what you're saying. You're saying to mine sure old acquaintance be forgot and days of old and days of old, back to the

back to the tower! back to the tower! So fun to do over Zoom. I know it's gonna sound really good. It was a fun game in itself. Love y'all. We love you. Thank you for listening. We'll see you in 2022. And remember you can, you can listen to these episodes ad free at Stitcher Premium and also

CBBworld.com. You can check out our merch at Podswag and you can follow us on Instagram, freedom USA, and Twitter. And we'll see you in 2022. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. ByeBworld.com. You can check out our merch at Podswag and you can follow us on Instagram, 3DimUSA, Twitter, 3DimUSA,

and write to us at 3DimUSA at gmail.com. You can go fuck yourselves if you want. You could do that all day long. It's an option, it's an option. Just an option, yeah. We're not saying you should do that, we're saying you can. You could.

You could. You could. And maybe should. Bye bye. So're saying you can. You could. You could. You could. And maybe bye-bye. Talk to you. Bye. Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated

issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lupita Nyong'o. My new podcast, Mind Your Own, is a storytelling show that navigates what it means to belong, all from the African perspective. We're going beyond the headlines to dive into nuanced, intimate stories from Africans around the

world. I'm so excited to bring this show to you. Listen to Mind Your Own on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.