Threedom - Threevisiting: Slap Machine

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss barbershop quartets and believing in Santa Claus, then play An Acrostic Conversation. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

Freedom! What happened? It's not a precise size. Freedom! It's not a precise size. Freedom! Hello. That stressed me out.

Why did it stress you out, Lauren? Because I didn't understand when he was counting down that suddenly it was going. Oh, what did you think was happening? A tiny rocket ship was going to blast off? I don't know. It's so small, let's just go from three. I just learned on newcomers that they just launched some fucking spy rocket.

Fucking spy rocket. The sprocket. And they late they put like, Elvish on the like poster for it. Elvish Presley? Wait, what? Elvish the language. On the poster for it?

Or like the design. What a terrible spy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't know if they had a name, and it had artwork, and it had a logo, and it had Elvish on it. No, thank you. Name, artwork, logo, all the markings of a spy plane.

I'm showing you a poster. Are you guys still doing Lord of the Rings stuff? Oh, yes. I want to commit suicide now. It's, what is left? It's insane. We're doing a video game next week. We're doing, I mean, D&D.

We're playing D&D soon. That makes sense. This isn't the place to advertise other podcasts though. This is freedom. It's not, but it is hard to talk about Lord of the Rings for 20 episodes. Let's just be very clear on that. That was a mistake, you guys made a mistake.

Hey, we didn't wanna do it. Yeah. It's hard to talk to both of you for two. I know, I know, we just struggled to get through. Scott. That's me, Scott Aukerman, hello. And over there, who just said that is Paul F. Tompkins. I'm Paul F. Tompkins, themonisher and I'm Lauren Lapkus the recipient

I think I was the recipient of that I think I've been admonished by him more than once. That's true I think I've been admonished by him more than once Can I just say for newcomers season three? People are pitching a lot of really scary ideas like doing all the Marvel movies and stuff but somebody said we should do studio jibbly really scary ideas I don't want to watch 20 Marvel you've never seen any of the Marvel movies you've never seen Ghost Rider no

Marvel movie not even the Marvel universe show up in Avengers and he they didn't have the rights to him they have him now though Really? Yeah, yeah, who had the rights? Charles M. Schultz Remember all those Charlie Brown cartoons that he was in Flamin head He was a lot like Franklin who had all the flies buzzing around him. No, that's Pigpen, you racist. That's true. His name is Pigpen. He is what he is.

I never heard the first word. He thought it was Frankpen. Franklin. Frank-Frank-Plan. Frank-P-Len. I just learned and you probably don't care or know what I'm talking about, but that Daniel Tiger, the cartoon, is from Mr. Rogers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did not understand that.

He's part of the Mr. Rogers Extended Universe. He was the one that made him Friday? I know the character Daniel Tiger. I've never connected that that show was that. Well, because usually when you see him, you don't see Mr. Rogers hand up his ass. That's true. But, yeah, I mean, what?

Yeah, I mean, what? Yeah, I mean, what? That is the fact of life. Grow up. Welcome back to the show. We're here outside again and we are ready... We're queer outside again? Get used to it outside again and we are ready. We're outside again? Get used to it outside again.

But we have helicopter remixes that you've all sent in at the ready if a helicopter ever comes around again. So I got, in fact, I'm gonna get those ready before you guys talk. Oh, you have them queued up. Hell yeah. I hear one right now. I hear one right now. You wanna do it? Yeah. I don't know, it's not that close.

Okay. So far away. It just feels like a waste. I I mean I feel like if we're hearing it on the headphones the listeners hearing it as well No Nope, they're not But they are ready and oh shit, they're not ready because I just clicked out of it. Should we talk about our clocks? Let's talk about our clocks. Let's talk about Crocs, baby. Let's talk about you and me.

Left and right foot. Oh! Okay, well I got my Crocs in the mail and I got, I got the glitter Crocs. I'm sorry, let's give a little background because I think part of this happened off show. We talked. Oh, wait. Oh, wow.

No, that's a truck. That's a truck. We need truck jingles, send them in. We discussed crocs on a previous episode and then off Mike, in our classic text thread, we discussed all buying Crocs, and then we all did. And then we all did. Yes, well, here's more precisely what happened.

Is we- You're gonna say you bought Crocs. Why don't you slap some of your signature precision on it? We all talked about it on mic. And then the clip that we played to advertise the show was about us talking Crocs. And that got me thinking, I got to get into those Crocs. So I bought some and I sent you guys a screen cap

of the Amazon purchase. And suddenly, all three of us, within 20 minutes had all bought crocs. And we had Christian ourselves, the Crocodile Crew. We absolutely had. And I got- The Crocodile. I got silver glitter crocs, which I thought were going to be made of,

member jellies, those shoes. I don't think you're ready. I don't think you are, but- I don't think you're ready to remember jellies. I thought they'd be that glitter where it's like in the material. Yes. But they're, it sheds glitter. Glitter on top? Oh, really?

No. That's ridiculous. And they don't exactly fit my feet, so I think I have to start over. F your F. Yeah. But Paul is wearing his. Don't work my side of the street. Crocs, and they look really good.

I am the only one wearing crocs. I thought we were all gonna wear them today. I was gonna wear them. Just to even show you how they didn't fit me. And now I have to walk around these medicinal shoes. Well, it looks like my feet burned in a fire. Well, you're also wearing bright pink socks. Yes, because I'm fashion obli.

Oh, also like your feet have been burned up in their bright pink. What happens to getting the flame ones or the banana ones? Oh, come on, I was never gonna get those. Oh, wait. Wow, I thought you were! Is this it? This is it! Here's our first helicopter remix.

You are never gonna get those? Except by Honest Jams. Here we go. You're looking for someone, you're looking for someone, you're looking for someone, the helicopter. Perfect. You covered it up perfectly. Really good. It's really good.

I like how we're all out of sync. Uh-uh. Ha ha ha ha. But I got the Crocs and I had assumed we were all going to try them on, on the show. Wow. And- Because you're the only person who's never tried them on. I didn't realize that. I'm the only person who's never tried. I've always looked at them.

By the way, when I bought them. Longingly. Coolop was aghast. Ah! Really? She, because she, our Amazon account is through her email, so she gets all the receipts for everything and she was like, what is this? Yeah.

That's honest. I mean, that's totally valid to be upset about that. We made a case for them that she didn't hear, you know? So, yeah. It's true. She wasn't listening to the shit. But I, now I have an excuse for almost anything I do. I just say, it's for a podcast.

Yeah. So when I was like... When're like sitting nude watching the best of the red I'm like it's for a podcast. Yeah anything that she's upset about is for a podcast So, she not watch the Bachelorette. She hates it. Although I will say she sits You know depending on the promo for that week, you know, if it's very dramatic She'll be like, oh, I can't believe you're watching it. And then she'll sit there and watch most of it. Yeah, what an epicrit. Yeah. She is. I didn't want to say that to her forever. Put the shoes on now. Geez. This is exciting. So this is Scott's first experience with Crocs. Also, they're not prohibitively expensive. I think Cool Up needs to cool out.

Was anyone else surprised that they arrived in a bag and not a box? No. I guess I came in a box, a bag that was in a box. I ordered from the Crocs website and they arrived in a bag. Weird, that is weird. Is this another helicopter? Yeah. Okay, here we go.

Play the other one. Here we go. This is sent by Jack's Jr. Helicopter. Here we go! This is sent by Jacks Jr. I got You can either do that strap on the front or back I'm really about to ask that yes, I've really come to despise my laugh Oh my god, wait, tell me how you feel in your Crocs Paul before we hear Scott try hits on. Well, I have experience with Crocs. They're incredibly comfortable.

They're like walking on a cloud as we've discussed. Yeah. I did not go for the ones with the holes in them. I have holes in the top of mine. You have holes in the top of yours. You can add gems later. You can add gems later, Scott, yes. What does that mean? There's all these little things you can put in the top of mine. You have holes in the top of yours? You can add gems later. You can add gems later, Scott, yes. What does that mean?

There's all these little things you can put in the holes and decorate them. Oh, cool, I was saying that. She was gonna buy some for me to make me like trick out my crocs or something. She's on board now. She's not on board. She's like trying to embarrass me.

Our friend Triple J, yeah. She has like a million amazing gems. Hers are reeling out. Yeah. Does she wear them outside or does she just wear them around the house? I Hers are reeling out. Yeah. Yeah. Does she wear them outside or does she just wear them around the house? I think she wears them outside.

Interesting. So you can wear it. I went with a navy blue. Yes. And you can wear these straps in the front or the back. Which would you suggest? It kind of depends on how it feels on your foot. Okay.

I'm gonna go off mic and I'm gonna put these on. Okay. Okay, well, Vam. Will you describe it? He's getting naked for some reason he's starting with his belt Scott is He's already always got him on in them strap in the front walk around. He's standing up What do you think

What do you think kiddo What do you think are they gonna be good, kiddo? What do you think? Are they going to be good for school? I mean, they are very comfortable. Right? There's no way around it. Should we bring an old man over here to touch your toe? I'm going to try... Get some metal thing with the slide. I'm going to try straps in the back. Didn't you always kind of like putting your foot in that metal thing?

I loved it. It felt good. Yes. It was very snug. It was like having a squeeze machine like in temple. Yeah, and it's like they kind of rub that like metal thing like down your foot Yeah, there was when you went to Buster Brown where I used to go to sure did we talk about this? Oh, yeah I know the sharky sharkies, but did we talk about the x-ray machine? Yeah, we did that that like supposedly took a look at your feet? Maybe we did or not. But basically radiation coming out of the ground of every Buster Brown. Do you think it was just that at that Buster Brown, there was a foot fetishist who managed the store

and they were just pictures. Inside to these feet. They were just pictures of feet. Like, did they show you the x-ray? That's ground. Yeah, they show it to you and they go, and they go, oh, okay, this makes it look like you need this type of, and they told me I had very narrow feet, which I guess

The only way that is this another helicopter. It is another helicopter. Do we I think we have another one today Let's see what this is. This is nasty and glc. Yeah, that's nothing to do with helicopters, but it is good something to do with helicopters but it is good. Okay. It was completely dark except for like black lit things. White lit. And then a creepy white guy with dreads with like really nasty looking. What is that mean?

Sent by Jordan. Nasty. You nasty. Boy nasty! This goes on for quite a while. I'm gonna save some of it. Yeah, save some of it. The best songs are listened to in installments. 20 seconds at a time. What are those growing foods right there? What are those growing foods? Your planet is mysterious to me.

I don't want to categorize it as fruit or vegetable. I can't see what you're looking at properly. Well, there's two rounds hanging off of some tall sticks. Oh, those aren't fruit. And that's not my finger. I don't know. There's lemons over there. That's about all I know.

Could be an apple, could be a tomato. Neither one makes sense to me because they're so tall and high. Yeah, I have no idea. Sounds like me. Tall and high. But I... can I say that I like the straps in the back better? Yeah. Yeah, you can say that. Yeah, see I think with mine, I don't want to get a bigger... I think I need maybe do that. Maybe they make crocs narrow. So the problem for you is they you're like banging around the sides? Yeah, but then my toe is hitting the end, and if I put the strap on, well, then it's over.

Because I have no room to really move. So do they make narrow Crocs? Crocs, if you're listening, we need help! Crocs just send us a bunch. Help Crocs! Now they don't seem to make half sizes, and I'm a half size. Oh. So I want a size up, and they seem to be okay. I want a size up too. Yeah,'t seem to make half sizes. And I'm a half size. So I want a size up and they seem to be okay. I want a size up too.

Yeah, they seem to be all right. Yeah, I think mine are good. Mine are good. They're also unisex, they say. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like putting my feet in something a woman would put their feet into. What if I go to the supermarket and there's some broad,

wear the same shoes I wear. Okay okay there's at crocs.com you'll find a roomy relaxed and standard fit so roomy so whether you're a narrow size or wide you'll find the perfect fit for you our roomiest fit just like our original style clog some models include a heel hugging backstrap for more stability you're looking backstrap they more stability. You're looking backstrap. You're looking backstrap. They save it narrow? So do they save it narrow? I think I might be able to get myself some narrows. Get some narrows and get no glitter.

Yeah, I know. Don't get the glitter. Well, once it was shedding onto my couch, I really knew I'd made a mistake. Why are your crocs on the couch? Because that's where I was trying them on. What's the perfect thing for you? You like to stand on your couch to try on shoes, right?

Yeah, I do. Would it be tie dye or would it be rainbow? Or what do you like? No, it's like, see here's the thing. I don't really, I felt that the glitter would actually minimize my foot in a way. While also being a fun shoe. But tie dye, it's like I'm gonna be wearing clown shoes.

It's gonna look too big and crazy. So I got basic black by the way because I'm a basic bitch Paul you don't want Now I don't want the holes in the top. Why I went to a see what they gained me the trinkets Well, is it the trinkets or are they no because it's not like it air can come in right air can come in there can come in Where there's a hole, there's air. There's a hole. You can walk in water.

I also heard someone commented that if you walk on the beach in those, it's like you don't sink at all. Okay, guess we gotta do an episode at the beach? Yeah. Meaning a lot of it go in wet sand? No. Or dry, dry sand.

Dry, like you could just walk down the beach and like you float. Interesting, okay, we gotta get either some sand here. Who said there's a ghost? I mean, I don't know who was the commenter. I don't know who was the ghost. Did I tell you about that funeral I went to when I didn't have any black clothes?

This is my pre-goth face. And so I wore like a white. Oh my god. I was like 13. Well you're like God so I wore like all white. Oh my god. I was like 13. Well you're like God. I didn't have any and so I had a new white jacket so I was like all right I'll just, and white jeans.

And so I wore that. That's the most stand out thing you could do. Did anyone comment on it? No, but I think people were, oh, all right we gotta play some of the rest of the song. A little bit more nasty. But I think people were looking a scant at me. I would think so Is this song every time we've said nasty

Why don't we put that whole thing at the end of the episode? Okay, sure. So people can hear it uninterrupted. Sure thing. Any fun funeral stories that you've been a part of? You know what? I was reminded of this the other day.

I was a, I had, my first contemporary of mine died. This was in the 90s. First like friend of mine mine died. This was in the 90s. First like friend of mine that died. And I was asked to be a Paul Bearer. Me and my friend. Because of your name.

That's correct. It was all Pauls. It was the awesome Paul Simon. When the caskets being carried, it's like really heavy for a couple people because there's not enough Pauls. Oh yeah, exactly. All Pauls are the casket being carried it's like really heavy for a couple people because there's not enough Paul's oh, yeah Exactly all all poles are the same height and this is what people don't realize and that's why they're perfect to be Paul bearer Can I ask you a question?

Of course we did the dance like in the meme Have you both been Paul bearers before? I have yes. I've been twice. Is it really? I don't know what I what I mean. It feels like it'd be really hard Is it really, I don't know what, I mean, it feels like it'd be really hard emotionally, but also physically, and also because everyone's looking at you. Lifting a thing? And because it's not a thing. Well, I mean, you could probably like lift a dead body

with two people, so to have six. So it's not like it's that heavy, it's more, but I feel like it seems really just emotionally heavy. It is, and it's a very, but I think that because you are focused so much on not fucking up, that aspect of it is put on hold for a second. Now, will you be shocked to learn?

There's more to my story. What? I actually am not shocked, because I interrupted you about one second into it. That's so funny. I kind of like it because I was the center one second into it. That's... I kind of like it, because I was the center of the attention for the funeral, and learned that part. You would like that. You like being the center of attention

to someone's funeral. Yeah, and afterwards at the wake, you're like, you know, you can be very legal. Yes. See how I carried that? When people say hello to you, you say it's a pleasure to meet a fan. My friend Adam and I, we were in our early 20s,

and we, of course, we were both friends with the deceased, and we got extremely drunk the night before the funeral. And we overslept. Ooh. Overslept to be Paul Bearers. Was there an alarm set, or was it just like, ah, we'll wake up in time? I don't know to be Paul Bearers. Was there an alarm set or was it just like, ah, we'll wake up in time? I don't know.

I don't remember if there was an alarm set. I don't know if we thought that far ahead and we slept through it or if we just were fucking stupid. And we got there too late. So he was already in the ground? No, we were allowed to be Paul Bearers on the back end. Oh, okay. So they had a call-in from the receiving end.

From the service to the grave. They had a call-in from the randoms. That's my favorite Tupac album. Yeah. I was thinking you two. From the service to the grave. I know, it's Rod Stewart. No, it is you two.

Oh, was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I wanted you. Oh, okay. Yes, you're right. No. It is you two. Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I wanted you. Oh, okay. Yes, you're right. I've seen him forever young when I saw him. From the service to the bride. That's my Rod Stewart.

It sounded like riff raff. I've never heard it pronounced that way. Riff raff. That's very classy. But I think that... Riff Raff. That's very classy. But I think that- Riff Raff. What are you doing? I feel like I've heard a pronounce that way.

Maybe I put it in my mind that way because it's supposedly his name as opposed to referring to him as Riff Raff. Right, I guess I've always just, do they ever call him Riff Raff in it or does he just- Not in it. I don't know if I've ever heard it out loud. Do you know what we're talking about, Lauren?

No, but I could guess. Yeah, go ahead. Yes. Go. Okay. My first guess is... By the way, this should be an ongoing thing. Do you know what Paul and Scott are talking about?

If somebody doesn't know what the other people are talking about, to just guess what it is. My first guess is that it's from Fat Albert. Hey! I mean, I can't blame you. to just guess what it is. My first guess is that it's from Fat Albert. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I mean, I can't blame you. As guesses go, not bad. I can't blame you. I mean, didn't it wasn't,

well, there was mush mouth in that, so Riprap is not mush mouth. Mush mouth, what are you up to? Dumb Donald. My next guess is that. Dumb Donald. It's from... I got it again with those white vans.

My next guess is that it's from a rap group. No, that's a good guess too. It's not bad either. You could be part of the clan or... Yeah, or the dungeon family. Okay, my third guess is that it's from... a sitcom. Now you're getting so general. Like you started very specific.

I know, I know. I can't know you're like just trying to guess genres. It's from the dictionary. Now it's from Earth? Oh, you got it right. Well, you could say yes, I could keep going. It is not from a sitcom. Okay, see, let's not waste my time.

Oh! Whoa, sorry words. I hate to tell you what show you're on. Okay, my next guest then, wow, this really changed. I mean, at this point, is it from a comic strip? No. So the two ways that... What do you mean two?

Hold on, I've guessed a lot of ways. Hold on, okay, riffraff. hold on I've got a lot of ways hold on okay riffraff I've guessed a lot of ways. Is it a TV show or a comic strip? Those are the two things that I can I've guessed a rap group. I've guessed a specific show Think of okay, we don't know Think of baseball may it last longer is it? Okay, it's it's called the person's callediff Raff, but they're never called that to their face. And we were saying in the thing.

It's a movie? There you go. Oh. Oh, what's the movie? You're supposed to guess. Okay, is it from the 80s? No. No. 90s? No. No. 70s. Yes. And the movie is called...

You're sucking all the fun out of this game. No, I was gonna guess it. The movie is called... Can I give you a hint? Yeah. It's a musical. Oh, cats. No. No. Oh, what? Cats just came out last year. Um, riffraff. Quarantine has broken Lord's brain. Riffraff, street rat, scoundrel, take that, just tell the little sithni. Yeah, that's it. You got it. What's that Aladdin? Oh

Come on. I don't know Should we just tell her no Yeah, yeah, tell me the first how many how many words and okay five What five words in the movie title? Yes, ma'am! Can you imagine? Back in the 70s, there were so many words in movie titles. Oh my God, full sentences sometimes. Yeah, okay, I don't know.

Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia. I don't know. The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I never would have guessed that. Richard O'Brien, the creator of the musical, plays a character named Riff Raff or Riff Raff. Riff Raff. Wow.

And we're, but I, someone must say that's Riff Raff. Like to introduce him to Barry Boswick and Susan Sarandon. I don't think I mean, like, hey. Tim Curry must say it at some point. That guy's Riff, well, Tim Curry comes in so late that I think Riff Raff has been. No, but he must address them at some point. That guy's riff, well Tim Curry comes in so late that I think riffraff has been. No, but he must address them at some point. Riffraff.

No, I don't know, I can't imagine it. Riffraff. Riffraff. Did you ever, though, watch Rocky Horror and like dress up and like sing along? I never dressed up, but when I was 15, my friend and I were both very into these two girls in our drama department

and I had super huge crushes on them. And they... How can we impress these girls? No, but I think... I'm going to wear black lipstick too soon. They like to go to it, so I asked my parents if I could go and they were like, no. That's satanic.

They were like, as long as there's violence and swearing, but no sex. Are there any abortions in it? But they also, part of the problem was it was starting at midnight and I think I had a one o'clock curfew. So, when I was 15, one a.m. curfew, is that possible? But on the weekends, I think it was. So I instead, because they like to go and I just really wanted to spend time with her,

instead I would sneak out my window. Sneak out my window! See the wrong arm, big toe. And then, then like, there were all these precautions that I had to take. So basically I had to like open my window, punch out the screen that was on it, and then. There were all these precautions that I had to take. So basically I had to like open my window, punch out the screen that was on it, and then...

We didn't have to punch it out. But you know, push it out. He had to do like a karate kick. I would karate kick my screen. And then your one leg would fall out the window and you'd be stuck crotch first. I would do a jumping 360 spin, kick out the window. But then I would have to, there was our back gate,

I would have to like lift up so it would silently. You'd knock that out with my fist. Cruddy chop it because it was wood. And then my friend who drove me would have to park like four doors down so I wouldn't get out because my parents window was right on the street, their bedroom window. Yeah.

So I, and then I would walk down the street, come back in, and when I would, the only issue was putting the screen back on from the inside was really tough. There would always be a corner sticking out, so I would have to then the next day when I woke up, hope that my parents didn't see there was a corner sticking out of the screen. How would they have seen that?

Because they're nosy. So they would have come in your room. This has been established. And this is canon. They would have been like, hey, what's going on with this, with the screen? Well, Scott, we need to talk to you about the screen corner. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's so stressful.

So they would have seen that and then put it together and been like, oh, you, you went outside of your thing. So the next day I would have to like make an excuse to take out the garbage or something, which because my garbage, the garbage cans were right outside my window and then like punched the screen back in. Wow. But it worked. I did it like probably 20 times or something like that.

She never likes me back. Oh. It didn't even work. I saw it, I think I saw it once in theaters. I think I went to one midnight showing at the theater of the living arts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. But you didn't dress up. I never dressed up. No, I didn't. I don't think I knew about that aspect of it until I got there.

It was all new. Like I didn't know about the yelling at the screen. I didn't know about throwing toast and all that shit. I had no idea. So it was like I was probably 17, something like that. And it was- When I was 17, I was to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I learned the truth at 17, that Rocky Horror was made for me. Okay, now I don't know what that is. Should I guess?

Yes, yes. Oh, I just started saying it. Oh, what'd you say? Oh, you didn't hear me. I Know this is great. This is Taylor Swift nope. No Katy Perry. No Another woman singer could I Named both Both of the popular ones. No, I don't know.

I'll never get it. Well, yeah, guess a decade. 90s. No. 2000s? No. Oh, 80s? No.

70s? No. 60s? No. Yeah, yeah. 40s? No, 70s. Somewhere in the...

Okay, 70s. Let's sing it again. I learned the truth at 17. The love was made for beauty queens. Can you repeat it again? I learned the truth at 17 The love was made for beauty queens Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Ian she has two first names and one of them is male. And she never sang another song. She never sang another song. No, she never sang. She stepped in the booth like, this sounds amazing.

She was fine. She was on the New Jersey Boardwalk was one of those make your own record booths. Somebody found it lying in the sand. They were wearing crocs, otherwise they wouldn't have found it. Oh my God, I went in fifth grade, I went to Six Flags and they had a carryover.

Wait, wait, wait, slow down with the math. Five, six? What is it? In fifth grade I went to Six Flags and I was in seventh heaven. And they had a karaoke booth where you could record a CD- By the way, here comes another helicopter. Pardon the delay. There's definitely no part of this that would be made better by me just telling my story. No, sorry.

Pardon the delay, but my computer needs to wake up when I... Maybe you should start playing it first and then announce it as opposed to announcing it and then playing and then we wait for... Nah, I like to say something the way it is. As opposed to announcing it and then playing and then we wait for Like this computer Well, you're in control So there's nothing we can do about it Go ahead with your story. You were five was it in fifth grade? I went to six flags and I got to go to this Thing that was like a booth where you could record a song on a CD did cool up change the flag

Is that what you're pointing at? Yeah, she did it this morning. I believe the new in honor of you there. Yeah And There's one That's fine five more Bob by You and one friend There was a true friends What was a friend and her sister and then the sister saying like a virgin Really? You and one friend? Because there were two friends. There were two friends. Oh.

What was a friend and her sister, and then the sister sang like a virgin. Ooh. On her track. But it was two of you that sang, mmm, Bob. Three of us. All three of us.

Okay, good. So did she pay for her track solo, or did you all chip in? I think the mom paid for all of it to happen. From my, you know, my- The of it to happen for my you know The mom's have to pay ever pay her back. I don't think so But you know I do wonder how much that would cost it seems like kind of special. I did it in the mall I sent careless whisper

And I gave it to my grandmother as a Christmas present She loved to hear me sing Wow! Wow! Because she loved to hear me sing. Oh, Scott, I'd love to hear you sing. She loved to hear me swing. Speaking of swing, though, I also gave her a tape of Nat King Cole, I think, for Christmas, and she was very impressed that I...

And you're like, this is me! Take one step over the writing the lyrics and saying, it's your poem, you rock. Yeah, right. This is me. This is me. Unforgettable. Oh. Oh.

Oh. But she was, I remember her saying, I'm very impressed. You know this music. This is my generation's music. It's like, yeah, no shit. No shit. Grandma. That's cute.

That's cute. Did I tell you the other Rocky Horror Pictures show story, by the way? Yes, you did. OK. No, I have no idea. I tell you the other Rocky Horror Pictures show story, by the way. Yes, you did. Okay. No, I have no idea. I just accepted that. I guess he's told it.

So my uncle, who is my cool uncle. Uncle. I used to go over to his house all the time. He had like, not slap machines, but like these Slap machines? Slap machines, yes. He would slap my penny. My penny. And he'd call it a machine? Thanks for the quarter.

Who got a quarter? Did it come out of your butt? I put it in his mouth and he slaps my... Slaps my family. So he used to have, I think, select TV or on TV. I can't remember which one it was. This was pre-HBO. It was like the first kind of premiere movie

thing that you could get at home where you could... This is pre-VCRs and everything. So it was basically like a box you had to put on your TV. It's pre-Tivo. It's pre-Cats, definitely. Pre-Cats, definitely. Definitely before cats. So he used to tape movies all the time

and we would watch them. That's where I first saw Bad News Bears and all sorts of stuff. But he, I remember him saying he taped the Rocky Horror Picture Show and it was only on once. Oh, yes. I did tell you that, sir. I don't remember what happens,

but I remember a long time ago he telling me that story. Okay, so it was only on once and it was a special event and so he taped it. I guess it wasn't pre-VCR because he could tape things. A special event? Yeah, so it was like we're only gonna broadcast this once on select TV or whatever, it's Halloween, and so he taped it and he would say,

oh yeah, I have a tape of that. And I remember. My cool uncle also taped cool movies on TV and it was like really awesome. Like what? Well, like things that I would like, like Alice in Wonderland, the live action with, what's her name?

I don't remember this. Oh, with Carol Channing. Oh, yes. We knew Carol Channing. Yes. And then he would just tape things that he thought I would like and then I would get the VHS and it was so cool

because I didn't have HBO and stuff. That's sweet. We didn't have a VCR, so we had to go over to his house to watch this stuff. And then my parents wouldn't let me watch Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I filed it in the back of my mind that he had taped it. So when I was 17, or 16 maybe.

When I was 16 maybe. My uncle taped the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Paul, did your parents care what you watched? No, they weren't. The only time, I think I've said this before, the only time they ever, my mother ever gave a restriction on something we could watch was, my brothers and I wanted to watch Psycho,

and she wouldn't let us watch it. That one sounds like it's going to be a little much. I guess. I mean, just from the title. It's like, dude, that's Psycho. Psycho. Ha ha ha. And that's where we get that phrase.

Just everyone knows. Just so you know, there was no such thing as psychotic before that movie. And now there is. And that's where we get that phrase. I feel like that movie made psychotic. I do wonder though. It made it easy to say.

Was it the first? And so people are like, I'm going to be that. Was it the first thing that took the tick off I beg your pardon what? psychotic What do you mean? I was a itic You know what I mean? It's the odd thing that tick no it's tick. Yeah, yeah, so they was it the first Well, what are other popular culture to shorten psychotic to psycho? What are other things that have tick?

Or you're just saying that one. Well, the tick. Well, he's got you there. Was it the first thing that ever popularized saying, oh, that's psycho rather than psychotic? I mean, I was kidding, but I do, I don't think so. I feel like psycho had to be a word before that. Maybe, all right.

Well, send us your opinion. I bet I'm sure. When did psycho come out? I'm not talking to the losers, I'm talking to you. Don, send us your opinions. I bet, I'm sure. When did Psycho... I'm not talking about this, I'm talking to you. Don't send us facts. I'll send you my opinion in the mail. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the Rocky Horror Picture Show he's got a tape. You messy bitches love to trauma. Okay, now the word did gain further notoriety after the release of Psycho. Further.

But it was in play before then. Which play? So I told my friend this and he goes, oh my god, this is great. Can you borrow it? Because I have two VCRs and I'll tape a copy and give it to my friend for Christmas? And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll ask my uncle.

This was a special event. But I was just like, yeah, sure, I'll ask my uncle. So I asked my uncle and he goes, oh, let me look around for it. And it took like two weeks or something. He was like, I'm sorry, I just can't find it. It was like, okay, no problem, thanks. And I called my friend, I remember,, he was like, I'm sorry, I just can't find it. It was like, okay, no problem, thanks. And I called my friend, I remember,

and I was like, hey, sorry, my uncle can't find it. And he goes, no. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, no, that's not good enough. What? What? I go, what do you mean? He goes, well, you said your uncle had a tape of it.

Right. So I'm gonna need your uncle to get me a tape of this. That is the weirdest. That's so crazy. I was like, how do you mean? He goes, call your uncle, ask him to look again until he finds it. Because you promised me that I could get a tape of this, and now my friend isn't going to get his Christmas present because you have failed me.

Wow. It's just the bossing the day. That guy has a psycho, which comes from the Greek word psycho. Meech means mental. Meech means mental. Meech means mental. Meech means mental. Meeich means mental. Mhich means mental. Mhich means mental. Mhich means mental. Mhich means mental.

Although the word has long been used as a prefix in words like psychologist, the pejorative term for a psychopath has only existed since the 20th century. Nice. The word gained further notoriety after a 1960 release of psycho. Amazing. Well,

Amazing. That gives us close braids. How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. We have to take a break, we'll be right back. What was lost? Ha ha ha ha. Beep boop boop beep boop. I'm up here. I'm up here.

I'm down here. Okay. I'm down here. I'm up here. Welcome back. Ice cream. Ice cream. Is that from Music Man?

See, it's just sustain talking. I'm talking. Ice cream. I know we've talked about this, but my old drama teacher. He really wanted to go. I know we've talked about this. By the way. Beep beep bop boop b singing around, humping around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is nasty.

Dialogue of nasty. That's a nasty man. That's the loudest one here. It's crazy. I'd be so upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But my drama teacher of whom we will not speak, Voldemort, he was talking about commitment to your craft

when we all got into drama in ninth grade. And he was like, when we did the Music Man three years ago, the four people who played the Barbershop Quartet, they learned how to do Barbershop harmonies, we taught them how to do that. And to practice, they would walk around school together and only respond in Barbershop harmonies to anyone. I don't know this.

And that's commitment to your craft and that's how they got good at it. Oh god. And I was just like... Did they have any friends? I doubt it, but it really instilled in me like... They each had three friends. That and probably when I learned that Weezer learned how to do... Did the same thing.

They learned how to do Barbershop harmonies in order to do their complex harmonies for the songs. It made me want to start a Barbershop quartet with you, I believe, I did. Like, wasn't it you, Doug Benson, and me, and one other person we were all talking about, yeah, let's do this, let's do it, let's do it. When he says you, we were talking to me.

I don't remember this at all. I know it was me and Doug Benson. Me, you and Doug Benson. It was definitely me and Doug Benson were like, yeah, let's do this. Let's figure out how to. No. Doug sort of does, yeah.

Does he? But sort of. I've never heard Doug sing. If you're gonna start at Barbershop Quartet, I feel like you want to start with someone who definitely sings. But I think we were just like, well, this was also when we were doing that musical

like around then. Yes. So I think we were just like, yeah, let's do it. Let's figure out how to do Barbershop Quartet and walk around like Largo just doing Barbershop Quartetting all the time. Let's be like these four assholes. From my high school, from approximately 1981,

probably, is when they did that. What an absurd story. And then to share it like this is the kind of thing you should be doing is inflicting this on other people. Although. Otherwise you're not dedicated. Is what makes it absurd, is it the fact that they were 14, 15 years old? Because if, if like Christian Bale were to do it.

What are we doing? Yeah, I think he's absurd too. I, I guess. Now I want to see Christian Bale doing this. He would. Why should there be any sin insincere? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Um, do you want me to play this thing Lauren that uh, do you want to set this up? Apparently, okay so Jensen

I understand you brought a clip I brought a clip Jensen Karp tweeted this and it's about, it's a music video, it's a song sung by a woman about dating a Jewish person at Christmas It's a music video. It's a song sung by a woman about dating a Jewish person at Christmas. And it's really sincere and specific. And it's just, I only watch it. We're Christmas is approaching, but we're in the midst

of Hanukkah right now. I believe so. And I- Those eight crazy nights. I just half watched this and I was like, I just want to hear it with you guys because I found it to be so weird. So you basically like turned something on, half watching, with like I'm gonna save this and I want to hear this with Paul and Scott

Yeah, all right. I want to see what my reaction is and I want to see what the reaction of my friends is. All right. Here we go This Christmas, I'll be celebrating, Hormicon, with the Jewish men I'm dating. I'll be standing underneath a mistletoe this year, I'm She's talking to other people and then now she's talking to him. Yeah, are we still there? But rather her sing that. I don't like to hear that word coming out of her mouth. That's super weird. I didn't get that far just so you know. You know? Yeah! What? From him saying shalom? Is he like observant? That's the other thing.

It's like shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom!

Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom!

Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! Shalom. We'll be roasting any chestnut. Is he like observant? That's the other thing. It's like shalom. Shalom. And she can't do anything that she normally would do. You can't roast chestnuts.

No. You're dating me and I'm Jewish. But you are. Yeah, is he telling her or is she offering all this? It's like saying, honey, you know. Yeah, it's like, I don't do what you want to do. Is he telling her or is she offering all this? It's like saying, honey, you know. Yeah, it's like, I don't do what you want to do. Also.

["The Time Is Here"] Sure. Other stuff as well. She's filling up the time. She seems to be like a 45 year old white woman. Bitch. Do you have a picture of her? Is that what you're going on?

There's a video attached. And it's a pretty well produced video where I'm like, what man paid for this? Yeah, you have to wonder. Probably the Jewish guy, she's dating. Probably the Jewish guy. Yeah, you know he's got money. Shalom. Let me take your video. I wish I the Jewish guy. She's dead. Yeah, you know, he's got money Shalom

Let me have your video. I wish I had said that. I the ironic racism. Yeah. Nope Nope. Well, it's boring about it. Okay. I'm done. You're done. I'm done with it I'm done finished. I don't want to I don't want to contribute to that dumb shit. Yeah Take withdraw from it. I don't want to contribute to that dumb shit. Yeah. Take withdrawal from it. I withdraw. I hear about withdrawal. I withdraw, Serena. Well, thank you for sending us this.

You're welcome. It's, you know, I mean. I thought it was weird. I just thought it was weird. You know, something in the holiday spirit. Well, also, if you're trying to- But now she's trying to be funny, right? I didn't get that.

I mean, the video, she's very sincere, but I will say, she mentioned Santa, I think, and you see, I'm holding- She mentioned Santa. I'm like holding on my hand, gesturing like a last poor York. Like, she's on the Shakespearean stage talking about Santa. But she's, she's, she's, I mentioned this because she mentioned Santa and behind her in the window

you see like Santa passing by like not stopping at the house. So maybe it's funny, I don't know. I don't think it is. But it's sincere. Partly because I just don't think it's funny. I think it's just, it feels real. Oh, I didn't say it was funny. But also if you're trying to come up

with a new Christmas standard, like the melody can't just be da da, da da, da da, da da. What child is this? Come on. Uh huh, that's a haunting melody. If that were a regular song, it would be popular. That should be a Halloween melody.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Whether we're talking green sleeves or what child is this? Well, I mean. It's very spooky. It fits in with the sleeves or what child is this? Well, I mean. It's very spooky. It fits in with the telling ghost stories that we all do on Christmas. The scary ghost stories. We got to save some of this material

for our Christmas episode next week, by the way. That's true, but it is the Christmas season. It certainly is the season. No, this is real. What's real? This woman. It's real. She recorded a Christmas album and that's on it. But wait, I thought she couldn't do Christmas stuff.

Oh! She's all over the map! I think her name is Sandy Baynum. Okay. That's a joke name, come on. Come on. Sandy Baynum. Oh, I get it.

I have a Sandy Baynum. Sandy Baynum, this Christmas, okay it. I have a Sandy Baynum This Christmas, okay, it was from 2012 genre easy listening not comedy What's do I okay she made an album that is all Diwali just happened yesterday. It did. Yes as of this recording. It's a celebration of light in the darkness. Oh, I'd like to celebrate that. And light overcoming darkness. You missed it. Oh, shit.

All right. Okay, but she's done The Man with the Bag, sleigh ride, Song for Christmas, and then I thank you for your love, which I think is the... Please don't tag her and snitch on us. Do not! Tag her!

Please, we don't like... Do not snitch tagged her. It was good with brushy one string because... Because we got him to his kickstarter goal. Yes, exactly. But we don't want to help this woman. I just, I don't need it to... Here's, this is a real thing.

Don't go tagging people that aren't being tagged. In a conversation I've found them. One of my tagging the blocks, please. It's not cool. Justin Timberlake parody. One of my, take it to Blocksville. It's not cool. Justin Timberlake parody. One of my days of Blocksville. Take it on down to Block Town. It's Justin Timberlake, everyone's favorite comedian.

Mine. We've done it. I always say that. Can I tell you this? I, apropos of the Christmas season, depictions of Santa Claus on commercials for adult things, like cars, stuff like that. Okay.

Drives me fucking, I hate it. Because it's juvenile, so when you see Santa giving someone a car. It's not cute, it's not funny. But do you think that maybe, just maybe, if you opened your heart a little bit, you could see that those commercials are also for kids You think a car commercial is for a kid they might be watching TV and it just

Wait you think a commercial is for whomever watches it They might be watching TV, but it reinforces the idea that Santos real Okay, kids need that reinforcement? Wait, so you think a car company, they want to sell adult cars. Do you think seeing several different actors playing Santa Claus? But they have a responsibility to children. I think as a kid, I didn't even consider them looking different. Like I didn't care that there were all these different looking Santa's.

No, because I always knew that people in commercials were actors. It's like, no, no, no, that's like an actor playing Santa. But it's one of the real Santa. The real Santa is he wouldn't do this. But like if I went to see Santa at the mall, I don't I never considered he looks different than the other Santa. I always thought it was right. Yeah, I don't think I thought that. I always knew that that was a guy playing Santa

You know I Knew yeah, maybe I don't I just don't know I I believed in Santa I think but I always knew Yes, I'm so sad all those letters unreturned But I I always you always ask for a response when you want to Santa. Please, Santa! Get back to me on this. Big sign on your house says Santa, stop here. I want to hear that you received my instructions

and that you're going to follow them. Thank you in advance. I hate it when people say thank you in advance. Oh, I love Santa. Thank me when I do something. But Santa? And I have not done it. And sometimes I don't want to do it. Thank me, now I'm not going to do it. If you want to do it, now I'm not going to do it. If you want to do it And sometimes I don't want to do it.

Thank you in advance doesn't imply you're going to do it. It's more thanks for No, I think thank you in advance is you have to do this. And here's a reminder. Here's like a polite way of saying this is mandatory. Well, it's saying thank you in advance is saying you're going to do this. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like this is, there's no wiggle room here. Thank you in advance for doing this. You have because they're, you know. Because I told you to do it and you're gonna do it.

Yeah. And I'm being nice by saying thank you in advance. It's obnoxious, I hate it. Back to Santa. Yeah. I am about to tweet this because I'm interested in hearing people's responses. What's your lead time on tweets? Seems to be about six hours.

I plan all my tweets 24 hours in advance. Okay. So I'm gonna tweet this tomorrow. Do you write in my hand first and draw the GIF? Yes, I do. I draw all the frames of the GIF. Parish. Don't you think Twitter would be deleted?

Yes. I mean, it would be great to have it taken off of my hands. I want someone to take it away from all of us. I'm not gonna do it. No, no, no, I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it would be great to have it taken off of my hands. I want someone to take it off of all of us. I'm not going to do it. No, no, no, I'm not going to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it would be a blessing.

Anyway, parents who... They just don't understand. ...who won't tell their kids about Santa Claus because they don't like the idea of lying to their children. Oh, yeah. Right. I want to know, are there people that felt this way and then realize like, oh, I'm overthinking this. This is like a magical thing that I'm taking away from my child.

Well it's so fun to do something magical. I think even as a kid, like I believed in like fairies and things, like it's just fun. Like it doesn't have to be that serious. Yeah, it's not, you're not, the idea of stretching that to be lying to your children is so extreme to me.

I do remember being five or six and I think my parents let it slip that Santa wasn't real or something. And I was like, you've been lying to me. And then within two seconds, I think I got over it. Yeah, because you still get a ton of presents. Yeah. And the same thing with the Tooth Fairy. I knew the Tooth Fairy wasn't real, but still I wanted those quarters. Oh, I want those quarters. I want them today, I'm pulling my teeth out.

I think it's complicated when you have parents who are, one is Jewish and one celebrates Christmas because then you kind of have that conflicting energy of like, what do we go with here? Right, well. If it were me, I would go with both for sure. Yeah, what do we go with here? Right. Well, if it were me, I would go with both for sure. Yeah, most people go, hey, it's great.

We get the best of both worlds. Well, yeah, but then maybe that's a California thing. No, I think a lot of people do that, but I think the decision to full force go with Santa as a thing is complicated. I do think it's... I have a cousin that converted to Judaism. Wait, wait, Scott, please. is complicated. I do think it's, I have a cousin that converted to Judaism. Do you, wait, hold up Scott, please.

Do you think it's more complex than explaining the birth of Christ? I mean, you're saying... So what are the rules with Santa? That Jewish people have enough other things to explain? Well, no, I'm saying that Santa is like a fun magical thing. Yeah. As opposed to getting into the the the differences between the actual reason for the holiday, right?

Which is that this person was born to be the savior of mankind. Well, I feel like I being raised in a religious household like There were concurrent tracks like the whole Santa thing was being explained like the whole Santa thing was being explained concurrently along with like but the real reason for the for this is yes we had that we had a manger and to the point where I I bought a manger for our house even though I'm not religious anymore I just like having it at Christmas time yeah so we have an ativity scene or some people say nativity scene. Some people say nativiti. Nativiti. But I think it would be... Nitiviti? I think it would be so hard to convert to another religion.

I know that some people do it just simply because like I'm marrying someone and they cannot like they are so religious they cannot marry someone of another religion. What? And so I converted, you know? But I just think it would be so hard. It seems like would you ever really, if you were to be the one converting it, would you ever really believe in the other thing?

You know what I mean? That's hard. I mean, I think some people really do when they convert. But I think when you're converting for a relationship, that's less likely that you're like fully believing all of the stuff. I mean, maybe there are some people who are like, ooh, this is a cool religion, I like this.

Ooh, ooh, Mary. Jack A probably was like that. Jack A might feel that way. Mr. Belvedere. Mr. Belvedere. Sit down, Mr. Belvedere's balls. What? I don't know, this is a Doug Benson thing.

There's a, we're Doug Benson game of twice. Jack A tweeted this really good, well times about you. Why you well times? I know. Jack A tweeted this really good, both times by you. I know. Jack Hay tweeted this really great story at one point about her audition for 227. Did she accidentally go to 226? Yeah.

But she was like, feel. Thanks for that. She was flown. It was just a great story. You can Google it if you just put together. Why don't you tell us? I don't remember all the great details, but part of it was just like she went, she got to fly in a private, you know, not private, she got to fly to New York and they were buying

her ticket to go for this audition. It was like really exciting. And then she realized there were a lot of women who were being flown on that flight to go for this audition. Oh, so it was like the, I forget what her character name was, but. Me too, but then she gets there. Me too, what a weird name. Me too, D2?

She did the whole audition. And then she was auditioning for a different part originally, but then she, they let her audition for the other thing. I mean, I'm telling you, horribly, because I'm not allowed to detail that. This sucks. Did she have a weird voice like that she leaned into? Yes, then like a character voice and then they really liked that right

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's like that's one of those things like Stephanie Beatriz For for Brooklyn 99 like when you find out she doesn't actually talk like that, and she, or Brad Garrett on Everybody Loves Raymond. When you hear their real voices, it's like, holy shit, you guys had the balls to go into this audition, and with a voice that's not yours? Well, you know what, Stephanie Beatrice was sick. Oh, really? Yeah.

She went in, she had- She was psycho. She was like getting over, she had a bout of psychosis. It altered her voice. She was, I think she was getting over bronchitis or something like that, but she told a story on Spontaneous Nations. And I didn't know that either.

And then she had to commit to that voice. So it wasn't even like a choice. She just had to, it just happened, and then she had to commit to that voice. Well, Brad Garrett's is like so strict, because it's so different, because his voice is like... His voice is really different? He's like, ah, anyway, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You know, he's sort of... He is? Sort of, in a way, kind of. I also heard this, not to bring him up again, about Michael Jackson, where people were saying... Oh my God. People were saying that when you... By the way, we've had one episode where we did not reference either of those two gentlemen.

Really? Yes. And that's in the stats that Josh sent us? No, that's in the stats in my brain from listening back to the episodes. Oh, okay. But I heard that, like, when, when he wasn't being recorded or there were no cameras around to be like, yo, what's up, I'm Michael. How are you?

I've heard that too, yeah. Well, you have the Ahmed Best story. Yeah. Where Michael's voice changed after he realizes he's true I told that on here though, didn't I I don't know well we told on newcomers, but we had Ahmed best son who played Jar Jar Binks and he He got to go see Michael Jackson with George Lucas and Natalie Portman And they were like watching a crew They had to they were watching it from some you know private box or whatever and then

They were led down a corridor and down a hall in all these places to meet Michael Jackson and they went to they met I'm at a parking lot and he and they went to, they met him at a parking lot and he, George Lucas introduced Natalie Portman to Michael Jackson. And then he said, this is, instead of saying this is Ahmed Best, he said, this is Jar Jar Binks. Who said that? George Lucas.

George Lucas said it. Oh. And then Michael said, hey, or whatever, like he was really not into it. I think he went oh Yeah, that's right. That's right. Oh, so sorry. He was hi. It's nice to meet you. Hello He was like Nelly and then he was like this is George our banks. Oh, oh So so George our banks was too racist for even Michael. Oh, he wanted to play your jar jar big In a bid basically to play. Is that how you get parts?

Is bidding on them? He asked. He put in $5. That was the beginning of eBay. George Lucas was like, who wants to be in my movie? But he asked. He really wanted to be Jar Jar Binks. And then it didn't go his way.

But that was how he found out. Wow. Oh, so that's why George Lucas introduced him? The movie hadn't come out yet. No, and that's why George Lucas introduced him as Jar Jar because he was just trying to break it. To Michael. This is the perfect way to break this to someone instead of just writing them an email. It's perfect. They've just done a concert. Oh. Or maybe he was trying to see what his reaction would be and it wasn't supposed to be. So it's George Lucas like fucking with him

I don't know what wonder what it's so it's so weird little reactions gonna be when I pull this I Am the puppet master wow That's an incredible story heard only on newcomers and I'm a best told it really beautifully on newcomers It's a great episode one. What a great guy Great guy. I wish him all the Ahmed best. And that was the first role to use such technology. Which- Which is entirely true.

When I think about that and think about how mean everyone was, I just am so confused. I'm like, you've never even seen anything like this before. I've always said, don't hate the player, hate the game. Yeah. You know, I've always said that. And I, I agree. You know, I've always said don't hate the player hate the game Yeah, I've always said that and I and I I

Agree, you know, I've always said that and I've never known what I'm talking about Okay, look we have to take a break. We'll be right back Welcome back and it's time for a three-acher and was this submitted to us by someone? Yes, and not Josh this time. Oh, thank God. Yeah, he really was on a hot streak. This is submitted by Pop Culture Review. Thank you Pop Culture Review.

Oh wait, I think I know what that is. Oh, do you? They review Pop Culture. Okay. No, wait, isn't that what, uh, uh, uh, uh, on Never Not Funny, uh, uh, never mind. You think of the pop culture beast, Karen? Okay, that's fine.

Karen Cockrell? Okay, yeah. Uh, this is admitted by pop culture review, not a monster. I think of Amid Beast. Um, he's never far from my thoughts. Why didn't he play Beast in the X-Men movie? That's right.

Just add name. Isn't it so funny that they got Kelsey Grammar to play that? It is hilarious. A guy who like could not be more sedentary. He played Beast in an X-Men movie, so he was... You're not gonna... No spoilers, because you might watch these. Oh, God. Isn't he blue or something?

Yeah, he's covered in fur. Oh, that's the last straw for you. I don't want to see Fraser blue Yeah, the flu is back Okay, and across to conversation Scott Paul and Lauren make a sentence by trading off adding one word at a time and the word must start with the next letter from the Host's name in order example of game, in a Scott Paul Lauren order. Someone please let cats ask all of us unusual tricks like reading tales every night.

Wow. Great. So we're going to pick our own names for this first one. And I shouldn't start because we, that example started with me and then when we were practicing this during the break, we also started with me. So I feel like, why don't we start?

And you started with the same word. Yeah, exactly. So why don't we start with you, Paul? Okay. And that'll mix it up a little and basically what happens? We just go until someone fucks up or- Or if we run out of letters.

Is it grammatically incorrect or... With Bill Maher? Yeah, I guess. Either one of those. Okay. It doesn't make sense for some reason. Okay, great. All right, let's start with Paul.

All right, this is gonna be a really interesting... And by the way, we are using the F. We just, we decided this. Yes. Whatever our, we're not gonna use our middle initials because those aren't our stage names. That's not how we're listed on IMDB. That's right.

It's however you're listed on IMDB. Yes, and we're not using the sometimes credited as because that's a misspelling. All right. Here we go. Practically. Lauren is stumped. Practically. Lauren is the worst word I could have started with. Losing.

Soccer. And. Also. Contriving. What? We know this doesn't make sense. It does, so far it kind of does. Practically, wait, practically losing soccer. Soccer and also.

And also contriving. And also contriving under. Unseen. Orthodox. Under Unseen Orthodox Likely Okay, now I think we've lost it. Oh, we lost it unlikely? I think it's a fine transitional word.

Practically? Losing soccer and also contriving what you would also contriving unseen Undo something under unseen it doesn't make any sense Not yet. Not yet. Can we pull it out? You can't say it's in doesn't make sense until the end Okay Okay. Beep, bleep. Blang, bleep. Blang, bleep, bleep.

She was in the news last week. What happened? She began with Jamaican citizens. She wasn't like credited on something and everyone thought it was suspicious. Oh. People really are looking out for her. It's nice.

Well, can we start over? Yes. Yeah. We know that doesn't make any sense. All right, well, you start. Okay. Look. Great, well you start. Okay. Look. Great. Great.

Scott! Are you fucking kidding me? No! Panics. Anytime. Cats. Are. Around. Otherwise. are around.

Otherwise, understandably... Unseen. Tremors. The two youth. Unseen. Understandably unseen tremors. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I. Approaching. I thought it was anyone's fault with an E, by the way.

Oh, dear. Anyone. Anyone. Approaching. Uh-uh. You cut the tension with a knife. Paula's in repose. Tears.

Nicently. Underneath. This is, now we're just doing words. It's horrible. First he sends his... We gotta do this, let's start over, we gotta get this right. Okay. Well, do the start over. We gotta get this right. Okay.

Well, let's reverse order. Oh, we're going this way now? Okay, I'll start and we'll go to you. Okay. We still have to use back to back though. I know, wait, how do we avoid this? It has to go. Even going this way?

There's no way to avoid it. I guess we could. No, if we go Lauren's got me. But then it's Lauren again. Yeah. There's no way to avoid it. Yeah. Well, I'll start and go back to you

and we'll see what happens. Okay. Okay. Sincerely? Lauren. Ha ha Pshh. Pshh. Pshh. Can...

Alice? And auto? Pshh. Pshh. Pshh. Read? No, wait. How am I name going?

I think you're at the U, right? Can Alice and Otto undersell? Underwear? Try. What? A new sentence. Try. That? New sentence. Try. That's not the...

I thought that we could do multiple sentences. It's just one run on sentence? It never... it doesn't say anything about multiple sentences. Sincerely, Lauren. P.S. Can Alice and Otto undersell underwear? Try. Let's do it a new... where we can do new sentences. Because otherwise, like, it'll never review.

It'll never make sense. Yeah, we've reviewed your premise and it's flawed. Try... Raging. Lightly. Then... Eating. Food.

Also... Never... Eating. Food. Also, never tip underneath ledges. Or karate chopping. Aged. Karate chopping. Aged. Maidens. Ergo. Please. Kindly remove... knives.

In an... I think I trapped you. Underwear. Oh no, I didn't. Oh great, that worked out. Sleeve. Sincerely. Oh, no, no, I'm in. Sorry. Never. Sincerely.

I don't have any more. Never sincerely. That's how it is. Do we go back to the top? No, that's how it is. No, that's how it is. Because I top. No, no, that's how it is No, that's how it is ever since cuz I'm done and you're done so never sincerely so interesting you start with sincerely Lord That was incredible, okay now we'll do one where you have to do each other's names, okay So Letters to start with Paul F. Tompkins Some beam is right in my eye. I'll do I'll do Scott's name. Okay. I'll do Lauren. I'll do Paul. Okay, and who wants to Stewart I will okay, and which way are we going? Paul next okay, okay, who am I doing Lauren? Okay got it I will. Okay. And which way are we going?

Paul next. Okay. Okay. Who am I doing, Lauren? Okay. Got it. So. No, I was starting. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Padding. Padding. And you. Oh, sorry. We established at the beginning, she was gonna start and then go. I don't listen to you guys. Yeah, I understand. Padding, P-A-D-D-I-N-D. Softly, lightly.

Angelically. This is like a poem. I love it. Cats are upset. Ornery, unless. Let the ribbled frankfuturs saw. Enough! That's... A...

Naughty... Optimistic... Understandable... Languid... Mopey... Kinetic... And... Kinetic and... Kinetic. And straight adjectives.

I said Kinetic. He said Kinetic, Kinetic and Kinetic. Intervating presence. I... invigorating presence. Hi. Refuse knowingly. Knowingly spelled wrong. What do you mean, with a K?

But then my eyes, I have N. What? Oh, okay. So my word was knowingly. No, it's not. You're an English major. But that's how I found it, you know? Knowingly spelled wrong. Knowingly spelled wrong. Wait, you became an English major because you spelled knowingly wrong? You were like, I gotta figure this out. Yes. Wait, I said knowingly and you're just gonna say knowingly wrong you were like I gotta figure this out yes hmm wait I said knowingly and you're just gonna say knowingly come on try fine fine I was

funny um nut butter . knowingly nut butter. Also, understandably, sunflower seeds. Nice. Sincerely. Paul of Tompkins. That was really good.

Well, that was excruciating. That was awesome. That's all the time we have for this episode. Yeah, we really ran out of time. We really, I mean, the clock was ticking. Yeah. And it ticked down to where it needed to be. That was challenging and had no payoff.

Here's when the payoff comes, is when someone transcribes the sentence. Yes, and then we read it and go, huh. Oh, we did do a bad job. Yeah. All right, we hope you're having a good holiday season. We know it's a tough one. Some of us do.

Don't you speak for all of us? Didn't... wasn't it one of our original titles, this has no payoff? Oh yeah, I think it was. Yeah. Interesting. Well, it still doesn't. So, we know, you know, the holidays are tough this year. We know you know the holidays are tough this year.

But hang in there everybody. Take it easy, go find something to do in your area that's safe and wear a mask and do something in your car like drive around and look at Christmas lights. Yeah, we're gonna do it. Yes, you know, yes, there's, I think that a lot of people are gonna be doing stuff like this. There's the six flags, it's the six flags, right? We're, by the time this comes out,

we'll have already been to six flags. I got it by my ticket, I hope it doesn't get ruined. They're doing a drive-through at the park where they decorate all the rides with Christmas lights. Yes, and it's gonna be beautiful. I truly want to find as many random things like that to do as possible. Random.

Random. It's so random. Meet the holiday chair. Exactly. So we hope you're doing well. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.

I'm up here. Nasty.