Threedom - Threevisiting: Sologamy

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren talk about Scott’s wedding DJ story and drinking games, then play Double Time. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to��[e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

Freedom Freedom Freedom! Welcome to Freedom. Thank you. Oh, the person who said your welcome is named Paul. The person who said thank you is named Paul The person who said thank you is name Paul the person who said thank you is name Paul the person who pointed that out is named Lauren the person who was playing the music is named Mike Balarkey and the person who did play on it you want to hit yeah I was playing for us playing the music. But you're a DJ. Is it crazy how much DJs make? It's insane.

It's insane. Like did you watch the Paris Hilton documentary? No. I like her song by the way, Star's a Blind. I wish she had done more of that. And the sex shake. And the sex shake. And the sex shake.

And she gets paid like a million dollars a gig. Yeah. And people like, and she's like out there going like, yeah, and just like, I mean, she does, she does claim she's really doing a lot of stuff though. People like Calvin Harris get paid like three million or four million.

Calvin Harris, the president, maybe it was more, that's Calvin Coolidge, isn't it? I don't know who that is. Does she seriously get paid a million? Yeah. Yeah. And all they do is they press play on the laptop

and then they pretend to move knobs. Yeah, but she did make the playlist. And then like she had this thing. I made a playlist. I knew you were pretending to move any knobs. That's true. I made a playlist and it's an almost famous soundtrack. It's such a scam.

I mean, I know it's fun. It's fun. It's fun. I was there was know it's fun. It's fun. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was you've talked about it on the show, but I remember the story from life. Yes, so I don't think I know it. There was a DJ that I had his album,

and I was like, oh, this is pretty good. There's a mosquito right there. Yeah. And then we saw him play, here we go. Come play at South by Southwest. And it was great. And we were like, oh man, this is so good.

I wonder if you would ever do a wedding. And so we took a shot in the dark and wrote a letter and said, hey, we're an LA couple. We're doing this wedding. If it makes any difference to you, there will be celebrities at the wedding. Or whatever. And the person was like, he doesn't do this, but he really thinks this would

be a cool thing. So he will do it for, how did you say celebrities? He wants to do it. Yeah, he does think this sounds cool. He will do it for $25,000. And that was more than the budget of the entire wedding. Oh, yeah, that's crazy. No, thank you. And then did I tell you what happened with the other DJ

that I ended up getting? So I was only in charge of two things. You know what, I know if I knew the first one. I knew I said this is gonna end with you kissing a DJ. I fell in love with the DJ. So, the other DJ? I'm now pronounce you men and wife. I turned and I accidentally married the DJ.

I was like, can I turned and I accidentally married the DJ Look it was DJ calls, but it was actually more but he's but she's a DJ So I married a DJ No, I married a DJ oops I I was in charge of the music. And I wanted to DJ marriage yourself. That's impossible. Is it though? Is it actually? You look at Mary the Eiffel Tower.

It's very cool to marry yourself. What would be standing in the way of it? Like you're not marrying anybody. Maybe you're a part of yourself goes, I object. But but there's no legal thing to like, there's no division of assets or anything like that. Oh, this is airbugs rules. I'm just saying like, if someone wanted to say,

yes, I'm married, I'm married to myself, is it the tax break? It must be the tax break. I think it's just an it's tedious and people will be like, we're not gonna let you do that so you can go around saying that you married yourself. Don't do love.

It's just out of stadium. Type in things that make no sense because you just type everything wrong, that you can go around saying that you married yourself. Don't you love? Don't you love how you feel like? Out of the medium? Type in things that make no sense, because you just type everything wrong, but Google still knows what you mean. Except Google's good. CSN, you Larry your elf. CSN, you Larry your elf.

Did you Larry your elf on CSN? So logame is marriage by a person to themselves. Supporters of the practice argue that it affirms one's own value and leads to a happier life. And alternative term is self-marriage, but this may also refer to a self-uniting marriage, which is a marriage without an efficient, sorry, I can't read. Selagamy, I've never heard of it.

Is it illegal though? Sounds tasty. I don't have a little Selagamy. A little provolone. Oh, you were a salaga bee. What is a salaga? Come and get some cobble. It doesn't seem like it's illegal.

Self-marriage has become increasingly popular. Could you type in CSN Mary Elf? Larry, low your elf, legal. Leroy, legal. Leroy, legal. Um, yes, do you have it? It's not legal in the United States. Yes.

USA. USA. USA. But it is although places. It is of a place. Where is this place that you can do? Oh, and then if you move to. Fairyland.

If you move to the United States, can you then say you're married? You know what I mean? Because you got married somewhere where it's legal. Does that make sense? It's not legal in the know, it's a case but women aren't doing it anyway. I'm marrying yourself to stay in a country. You're not going to be in a country?

Yeah. What if that's the new green card sequel? You can't support this. There are services like marry yourself and I married me. I know so, by the way, I went to a wedding in Vegas that was all fake for a green card once. And you knew it. Yeah, we knew it.

It was like, and gosh, I have to say I barely knew the person. God, did I believe that kiss? But I... But they were getting married to, this guy was getting married to this woman because she needed a green card. And I think maybe he had feelings for her,

but they were supposedly just friends. No, boy. But they needed to have proof that there was a wedding. And then because everything comes down to an interview, I guess, where they come over and interview you and look at pictures and try to ascertain if you're actually married, like detectives. Yeah.

And so we had to go to Vegas and like, take a bunch of pictures, you know, celebrating their fake wedding. I like it. You don't like what? I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. spray it. don't say it. don't say it. there it is. yeah you got it. oh damn. no he's still he's still hanging on. it's funny. like me. this is my zone. this is the friend zone. you don't like people getting married for green cards. look I you don't like anchor babies. what's the best even Miller supporter? oh no no no. I love 98 Fiancé, which is a great fantastic program,

right, Paul, on your phone. I'm waiting for my, okay, full disclosure for the listener. Okay, we need to have full disclosure, so the listener can enjoy it. Everyone needs to know what's happening. We promise we would always tell the truth. Yes, we did. I think I missed that three to meeting.

Are you guys having meetings about this? I'm not having meetings about this. I'm having a Christmas time and a Christmas time you tell the truth. Oh, that's true. What was that from? That's such a bizarre statement. Love actually.

Oh, yeah. By the way, we watched the Queen's Gambit on Netflix. Okay. So good. It's really good. We watched it. I mean, Mike watched it and I was in and out, but I liked what I saw.

I really loved it. But there's a kid in it, a young man, who was like, why is this kid so familiar? And he's like a cool guy. He's got like, sort of shaggy hair at a little mustache and a go to. John Lennon. What's that?

John Lennon. Yeah. Who's this kid, John Lennon. And it was John Lennon. Circular glasses. And I was like, why is he looks so familiar? It's the little boy from love actually all grown up. Honestly, I knew it immediately because his head

is exactly the same. It is. It is. The little kid who's like, I want to be a drummer and then he's like, I'm in love with him. And then he chases the girl through the airport. I don't remember. I saw it once.

It makes me so mad over at the Beverly Center. What makes you mad? It makes me mad that. And don't worry. And adult man, Liam Neeson, is indulging this child. More than an adult. He's like 30. But he needs.

He's indulging this child to such a degree where it's like, well, I have to take you to the, what father is like, I'll take you to the airport. Three and I love it. We're doing that all the time. It always sucks. It always sucks. I want to take it to the movie show day. Yeah, what was I gonna never got about that?

Guys, music video. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna take it to the movie show day. It's for you guys. It's for you guys. I remember driving people to the airport. I never liked it. I never liked being driven to the airport.

Last time I did it for a cool up, this we're talking 15 years ago. Oh, we're still talking about driving to the airport. 15 years ago. So what are you doing before Uber? She would take a cab. The car service or what? Oh, okay. Oh, it's a trip.

Oh, like 15 years ago we got. No, most trips are through business. True, true, true. If you're going to love car service, always sounds so decadent. Yeah, it's like as expensive as a cab. Yeah. But especially in LA, I feel like it was $100 to a cab to the airport when I first was.

Yeah, it was like $120. Yeah, it's insane. So in any case, but I got a pulled over by the cops in the roundabout at the For speeding supposedly you can pull over by the cops in the roundabout This is you in the LAX All right, you can tell the listeners what's going on with you? Yeah, full disclosure guys. And I'm sorry that I kept this from you for so long during this episode.

But for some reason, I took my in-year monitors out of my bag, what I call my three-dom bag. Wow. Your go-back. My go-back, my three-dom go-back. If there's an earthquake, the only thing you're taking is this microphone and your headphones. That's right. And my own about it, which I also took out of my back.

If the assassins are coming for you, you come over here and we record an episode and then you go to the airport. Can I say this to the assassins? Please don't come for me. Can you please, I'm chasing me. I wanna relax. Don't assassinate me. Well, so I'm waiting for my beautiful wife, Janie, to drop off my headphones.

So I did not have to go all the way back home and then come back here and waste even more time. So I'm smiling without headphones right now. She's willing to do that. She's willing to do that. We do things like that for each other. That's nice. How annoyed was she though?

She wasn't annoyed. She was fine. She just said, I'm not getting out of the car so you have to come get them. Do an impression. She was like, I'm not doing that with a car. I think you're gonna do this other thing and you're just doing the nagging wife.

I'm not coming out of the car. You have to come to the car. A couple of you'll see. Isn't that a different type of Southern accent? There's four Southern accents. Oh, okay. Let's do it. What are we got?

Hey there, each may be from the side. What's that, maybe they didn't leave it. So you're like, made or the car from cars. Yes, made or the car from cars. The only car from cars. He's the star. Which was made or he's the car. And he's actually a tow truck.

Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Can you believe it? How that is misleading? Isn't it? Because it's tow made her. Right? You go see a movie called car. I guess so.

That's I know it from cars land. Let's just make it very clear. I haven't watched cars. I just spend a lot of time playing in a kid's zone. Do you know? I. Cars is I think one of the only Pixar's that I've never seen because I don't like the concept. I don't want to watch a car.

I don't want to go. I don't want to talk. You spend the whole movie. I know this has been covered by Matt Bellnet probably, but you spend the whole movie confounded by the rules of the thing. That's the thing, yeah. They go and they race in a stadium and cars are in the crowd in the seats and cars are in the seats.

Paul's going away. He's shouting. But he can't be heard. We have no idea what he's saying. He's going to pick up his headphones. So there are cars. What? Now we can really tell the truth.

Yeah. Because it's Christmas. You tell the truth. That's right. Okay. So Paul's an asshole. Oh, we hate him. Oh, my I've been dying to say this from I've been dying to say it on my own. My god, I mean, we say it all the time off. We text about it. Oh, yeah, but oh, he's it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh! Cars. So why do you spend so much time in Carzeland? Because you have to. Because I love Disney.

Because I love Disney. I used to love to go to Disneyland as often as I could. Sure. Before they all lockdown. I tell you, when we went with our nephew. It's so fun with kids too. When he was a little bit younger than today. It was like last week.

You went last week. Risted all. Yeah, wrist it all on cars. I hate that people really want to do that. He was okay with the rides and he liked some rides more than others. But man, he spent like an hour and a half in just the fountains that the dancing fountains and you went around in them. And it's like that for a kid that is so much more enjoyable than you know, right? If they could just make a little public park.

Yes, with dancing, but well, I mean, universal studios has it. Yeah, well, for you go inside. No, no, in the city walk. In city walk, yeah, they have, but usually when I'm there, it's like seven p.m. and the sun is going down and I'm looking at these insane people getting like soaking wet, going, what are you fucking doing? I know. I know. It's going to be 20 degrees in a second.

What's the thing you missed the most that's like that? Like city walk. Going to Universal City walk. I watch you people get to get wet. I tell you I was walking down the street just the other day. I saw a pretty lady. I didn't know what to say. Okay. You have to say anything.

No, literally yesterday I was walking right over there because we have to walk the dogs. Oh, by the way, two things can happen and it hardly ever happens. And it makes me so happy because I get to sing two different songs, which are if the dogs, the second they get outside, they take a poo,

either one of them. Yeah. Then I get to sing to the tune of sweetest taboo, I get to sing immediate poo. Nice. Immediate poo. And then if they, and they never do this, if they poo simultaneously, I then get to sing a parody of Pete Shelley's homo sapien. And who's deciding whether you can or not?

Myself. Okay. And I assume God who's deciding whether you can or not? Myself. And I assume God who's watching over me. Come on, we get back here. We need you. We need you. Hey, you. You don't even want to know the parody is it's. I'm a tiny as poo.

But I don't really know the original. So I'm leaving again. It's a parody of Homosapune 2. Anyway, so I was walking them and I saw, and this is just flouting city guidelines, but they're hungry for floutas. Let's get some floutes. We should I turn this show? But I saw like eight guys on this person's like sort of roof porch having a barbecue and like sitting around drinking beers and laughing and stuff

and I was like, these mothers are not allowed to do that right now. And I'm serious. It does bother me. Like I feel like I'm dedicating my time to being as safe as possible. No, I'm reclaiming my time. I'm dedicating my time to being as safe as possible. I'm recliving my time. I'm recliving my time.

Excuse me. And I only do things that are very socially distanced and usually have a mask on of them with friends. And that's it. But it's not me cackling the night away on somebody's rooftop. I was looking at them going, well, maybe they all had it. And this is like their immunity party or something like this. That's the most extreme.

What if they all have a mouth? I just don't know. And they're like, we're dying. I'm really not having fun. But they were having a barbecue and I smelled the barbecue and I was like, and I've been fine during lockdown. It's like, you know, I'm not, you know, cool up is. I have so hardly smelled any barbecue.

But, but that just passing that made me go, oh man, that would be so fun. I know I miss everything. Yeah. Paul, my question was, what do you miss like in the real world? Like that, like we were talking about Disneyland. True story. Which I do miss.

And well, I also really miss Disneyland because every year, I would take my nephews to Disneyland. And so we don't get to have our yearly trip where I spoiled it. Do they get tired of it after a year? Is it like when I was a kid it was like every year Yeah, we only didn't twice and they were really excited about times and because their age is Like their interest change each year It's like they kind of see it a little differently or they're like 10 and 21. Mm-hmm. Yeah They're seven and four but like so in the previous years one of them was like a little too little for some things

Yeah, and when they both get really tired and cranky and like I'm thinking we're getting to the point where they'll start to get to a good age Where they both just have fun all day. Yeah, Arnef you he went on goofy's the rollercoaster and I got on it and I coaster and I got on it and I I had this experience where I was like, oh, this doesn't feel safe. I don't want to go on that. But I didn't want to sound safe. Goofy's role. No, he built it. He's goofy.

He can barely walk. But we got on. I went, oh, this seems a little scary. And then they strap you in. And as it's going on, if you goes goes, I wanna get off this. Oh no! And I was like, we can't anymore. But I was like, it's totally safe. And meanwhile, I'm sort of freaking out.

It was the same thing as when I went to the fair with Coolop and we went on the big, like, you know, you look at those things where it's, you get in the car and it's on a line and it's over the fair all the time. Oh, it's like a monorbit. No, not a monorbit. Or not a people mover. I forget the fair all the time. Yeah, like a monorbit. None of them on a monorbit. Or not a people mover.

I forget what exactly what they call it. It's like a straight line ferris wheel. And you look up there and you go, oh, that looks fun. And we did and we went, oh, let's go on that. And then the minute you get 15 feet off the ground, I started freaking out. And cool up was really freaking out. I'm going, oh, this is terrible. I want to get off.

I want to get off. Because you can just like slip under and fall out. Oh, my God. Oh, it's like a ski bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, but don't do that. No, but that is, was that a LA County Fair? It was at the Orange County Fair.

But then do you have to ride it from one end to the other, then you're fucked? You're like, so wait, so I was like, honey, it's okay. Meanwhile, I'm freaking out, but I have to put on a veneer of like, like the man, comment, no, otherwise she's gonna freak out, even not as, but you know what I mean? I know, I don't care about you.

But that's how I felt with him. And he was like, oh, I don't like this, I don't like this the entire time as it's like doing the twists and turns. And then the minute we get off, I was like, yeah, sorry, maybe that was a little too. I read it was good for people your age. He goes, I think I'd go on that again. Oh my God. Sorry, Kai, I had done my research

beforehand. So you can't play me. I was talking to my nephew on the phone today and he was like, are you safe from the fires? I was like, what do you know about this? Then he was like, that's so strange. Do you still have to wear a mask inside your house? And I was like, no, I did that for one day. Well, it was really smoky at one point. Like,? And I'm like, that's so far away from me. And then it's only recently where it's like, I think we're okay. I know, I know. It's getting closer all the disasters.

Oh, boy. Kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuk And what held the story and lights I think yeah waiting for you this is the part I know And so I I forgot it was happening the DJ the DJ didn't worry the famous DJ didn't work out So then I was like uh, you know wedding DJs are always so bad. They they play You know celebrate cool in the gang celebration all the time. They always play the same old songs I would really like a good DJ that because there's gonna be young people who like get people up and, you know, someone like in a club. So I happened to be in their late 30s. There's gonna be a few young people up there. Cool up was a little bit.

Cool up my life. Oh boy, oh boy. It's like he was one young person. She just had to take over her graduation cap. She wants your graduation song. It's from 2008. So I happened to be in a club off of Hollywood and there was this amazing DJ who was mixing and everything.

And I went up to him right after he was done with this set. I thought I thought you were so good. Do you ever do weddings? I want an actual like good DJ. He was like, yeah, I would do it. And so I got his card and we worked it out over email. And we're there at the rehearsal dinner the night before. We got married at Union Station. And then we have the rehearsal dinner there at the restaurant at Union Station. And I'm sitting

there and there's a million people passing by through Union Station. It's like Union Station. And suddenly I see the DJ walk in. And I'm like, that's weird.. And- It's like they all go in somewhere. Suddenly I see the DJ walk in and I'm like, that's weird. I wonder if he's going somewhere and I like waft him, I go, hey man, he goes, all right, where do I set up? Wait, the other DJ? No, yeah, the one that I hired.

Oh, okay, okay. And he has the famous one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he goes, well, where do I set up? I thought about it. He's like, I'm here, whatever, paint whatever you want. Okay, so the DJ you hired shows up. Show's up and he's like, where do I set up? I thought about it. He's like, I'm here, whatever, paint whatever you want. Okay, so the DJ you hired shows up. Show's up and he's like, where do I set up?

And I'm like, oh, you're here on the wrong night. It's tomorrow. Oh my God. No, you said it was today and we like looked at the emails. He goes, oh, it is tomorrow. And you just have to be there. On a Saturday. I just happen to be there and he goes,

it is tomorrow, Saturday, which is when all weddings are. And he goes, well, I have another gig. I'm like, oh fuck, he goes, tell you what, tell you what, tell you what. Let me send my friend. He's just as good as me. He'll do it really good. And then when my gig is done, I'll come and do the last

like three hours. Imagine if he thought it was the day after and then he just didn't show up on the day and you were screaming, so could you just send you the playlist? Imagine, imagine, imagine if he thought it was the day after and then he just didn't show up on the day and you were screaming. So, could you just send you the playlist? Imagine if he fell in a hole. Imagine if he climbed a trail with a top and it bent his snaps. Well, it wasn't just a playlist. It was literally him mixing course. So anyway, so this is a fairing DJs. The night comes and his friend doesn't even show up. What is this? And so the guy who was doing the lights

who really wanted to be the DJ who was a professional wedding DJ. He's like, no, it's my chance. He's like, he's adjusting lights. He lit, I suspect foul play. He literally was like, let me just DJ because I turned him down before. Be the music.

He's like, I'll do the music. I'll do the music. So he,, because he's, he's like, I'll do the music, I'll do the music. So he, this is, wait, he offered already, do you had to turn him down? Well, we, I was in charge of the lights, so I hired him to do that. We like hired a guy, that was it,

and we had a playlist. We're just like, play these songs. So we, I hired this guy and he was like, well, I also do the DJ and I said, oh, we already have a DJ after looking at his whole aesthetic, you know what I mean? And seeing the review, he was like a corny DJ. And we just want somebody who's he played celebration right off the bat. Well, so what happens is they say, all right, let's get, we did our first dance.

And he goes, all right, let's get out on the dance floor immediately. Place cool in the gang celebration. Oh my God. And cool up. And I just started laughing. And so the realized it was all still fun and you were only able to marry each other. It was, it was one of the moments.

It was one of the moments. It was one of the moments. It was one of the moments because you know, the seating was all, we were supposed, the wedding was supposed to be outside. And then it rained. It rained. No, no, I was supposed to sit next to a celebrity.

Who? I don't want to say now. Please. Tim Allen. Remember your time with two. Oh, I sure do. You have time with him. Oh, yes. I love that story. No, it was supposed to be outside. And then the then there was a huge Mariachi festival across the street at Alvera street. That was televised and none of us knew about it. Telev-novelized.

And so literally a half hour before the wedding, loud, incredibly loud Mariachi music started. I do feel that whoever booked your wedding should have known about that. Yeah, like, yeah, who knows. But so we moved it inside and it was actually way better because Cool Up got to make an entrance down a big stairway. It was really good. That's cool. But yeah.

Those of us who were friends with Scott and CoolUp at the time got to enjoy that. Totally. And I was put a twinkle in my parents' eyes. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

What year was it? 2008. Uh, eight. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. I was right with 2008, weirdly. I was right with 2008, weirdly. You were right with it, weirdly. Well, I was graduating college.

Hey, congratulations. Yeah, I had my cap and gown. Are you the only college graduate here on the show? Are you one? No, you know, I'm not. Yeah, I didn't think you were. I am the only one. Oh, the most wonderful thing about Tigger. And do you have a degree?

Yeah. Wow. In degree? Yeah. In English. English? English? English? What do you have to do to get a degree in English? Like what courses do you have to do?

Well, it's not that complicated. It's a lot of courses of all different types. I took many sciences and maths and all other things as well. My gen ed sort of credits. And then I mostly took like literature. I got to pick like a lot of different types of literature. I've never heard you talk about a single book. What?

Sorry. I, I love, I love to talk about a single book. I I never heard you talk about a book, but you're, I'm not a newsman. It's also we have heard each other talk about books. Yeah, I definitely have talked about book. I really really good. We have called go card go. Yeah, I couldn't think of one. Um, but yeah, I took you know, Shakespeare andaucer and all that. Wow. Like a whole semester on Chaucer. Mm-hmm. Or was it was it Chaucer plus the other people from whatever? No, Chaucer. I did not Chaucer plus eight. But it was the quarter system. So it was, we didn't work on Semesters, we did quarters. So that's half a semester or it was like, um, the years divided into

thirds actually because there's no fourth quarter. Yeah, that was my problem with college quarters Get it the game. I mean I Lead me there lead me there. I well, there's a drinking game co-quarters And I played it too much and I was forced to leave college. What was my crippling bearded. Did you guys play drinking games? No, I've never played a drinking game. I've played one or two, but I really don't find that fun. It's dumb. I did do drunk history and I had to do a drinking game on that.

And I was kind of nervous because I never do them. And I don't like drinking hard alcohol, really. And we played vodka, water, roulette game where it's like a spinning roulette thing and you like on a lazy shot. Yeah. And there are either water vodka. And I got so many vodka's and I got trashed. But there's nothing point of the show. For sure. I just was scared to get that trash. You know, I mean, like I thought like I could be like controlled a little bit. Yeah, it's been a while since I got that fucked up. Yeah, I never do that.

Like, for fun. For so unpleasant to feel that. I know, I hate the next day. One of these younger, it was routine. Yeah, getting that drunk. And then I did drunk history and had not been that drunk. Probably the last time I did that drunk was probably when my mom died.

When I, it was like the first Thanksgiving after my mom died. And I was at my cousin's house, which was our tradition, as we would go over to their house for a dessert. And they're a big family of drinkers, and we're a big family of drinkers. And so we would stay up to like the wee hours drinking beer. And that night, I was like hitting it real hard and I threw up and I passed out and it was a mess.

Were you doing it sort of because it was your mom had died or your dad? I didn't realize it at the time. And then the next day I was like, I think I know why that happened. But so when I did drunk history it was like, okay I know this is what I'm supposed to do. But my mom hasn't died again.

So I killed my dad. So I started drinking on an empty stomach before I went there. And yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so were you worried that you wouldn't be able to get drunk enough in the amount of time there? Or you just wanted to? No, I just, I figured, like, that's what the thing was,

you know, and so, and I knew that they had explained, they explained like you're gonna tell the story like a bunch of times in varying states, you know, so you, isn't there a thing though? It takes them a while to get set up, and so a lot of people are way too drunk too early. I've heard that from a few people. I got way too drunk, and then I had three more hours

until we started filming. There's no way around that by the way. I think it's like we started, they started filming, they do like behind the scenes stuff when you're kind of getting, you're in the process. But like I can see like me and Derek in my episode we're talking in this kitchen

and I can see that I'm already drunk. Yeah. Right. And he just arrived, like, hey, Paul. And now he's mad at you. What are the funny things? I remember Derek saying, like, you know, that's hard for me because I have to drink with the people

and it's like, you don't have to. Right. It'd be fine if you just talk about it. No one expects you to. Yeah. That's funny. This whole show is just an excuse for you. Yeah.

Get drug every day. But I got, I got blackout drunk. I passed out. There's footage of me that I saw of me like sleeping on this couch as they're cleaning up around me, like packing shit up. And so they tell you like, hey, do you want this footage to be on the show or not? Or do they are they just allowed to put whatever embarrassing thing? They're allowed to, but they're, honestly, they kind of, they're very protective of people.

Like they, they know what's funny and what's, what's sad. Right. So like, I know one of the rules was never show a woman throwing up because it's not, it's like seeing a dude throw up is one thing, but seeing a woman throw up is like just really. It's more embarrassing, I think. It feels like it takes more advantage. It's, it's, it's so drunk that she's throwing up in your film. I like to get to a place where women can throw up on TV.

Hey, well, check every TV show. Yeah. But I got, I feel like in those, I did it twice and I, the first time they took my, there's like a nurse there who like tests your blood out of the house. I did it twice. Okay. And I, I feel like both times when I blew, I was never registering as drunk, but I was drunk like it was like, yeah.

But I, they were like, it's not working. We're like, you're not coming in at the level that we're expecting or something. But like, I don't take that much to get to feel really drunk. I don't know if that makes, is it still relative to your blood alcohol level? Like, if I was drunk, would it still be point? I don't know. Whatever.

Did I tell you about the, when I went to like, Havasu for spring break with my friends and our boat broke and all sorts of stuff happened. But it sounds like a baby. But the part that's remained to this conversation is we went to a club and then we got in, the club closed and there are police sitting in their cars like just waiting for people to fuck up, right?

And just sitting there watching everyone get into their cars, like just waiting for people to fuck up, right? And just sitting there watching everyone get into their cars. So we get into our car and my friend is, my friends fucked up, backs up into a cop car. And they get out and go, all right. So let's, you know, are you drunk? And my friends like, yeah, I probably am a little too drunk to they go okay Well, can anyway they were nice about it such a great way to handle like you know what I probably am

So they go but can anyone can anyone will let you go but can anyone else drive the car and I said yeah I can because I didn't feel drunk at all they go, but can anyone, can anyone, we'll let you go, but can anyone else drive the car? And I said, yeah, I can, because I didn't feel drunk at all. They go, okay, well, let's, here, let's do a drunk test on you to see if you can do it. What are they just taking around? Did the entire drunk test pass, did the nose to the fingertips, did the alphabet,

all that kind of stuff? And they're like, yeah, okay, you seem fine. They go, you know what, why don't you just blow into the thing just so we can check. And I blew like twice the lead. And they're like, okay, you should not be driving. And so we had to leave the car there and take a shuttle where, and I dropped my wallet on the shuttle with all my money.

Ooh. And all every, every dog. Yes. Well, I mean, at that point, at that point in my life, I know, till now. Yeah, at that point in my life, I know, till now. Yeah, at that point in your life, you didn't have anything in the bank. And so it was just like, I took everything out of the bank.

It was like $160 and 25. And that was all the money that I was going to use to eat and drink and rinse. That's not so. And so I dropped it on the shuttle. And this is the one good thing that happened on the trip was I woke up the next day and someone asked me to pay for the food and I was like,

I don't have my wallet anywhere. And I retraced my steps. I said, I'm sure I had it with the cops because I showed it to them. So I knew it had to be on the shuttle and I went to the shuttle. And you got out of paying for breakfast? Yeah, I didn't pay for breakfast.

That was the one good thing. No, I went to the shuttle and they had it and it had all the money. Wow. And everything I was just, and and they had it and it had all the money. Wow. And everything. And they go, you are so lucky because most people would have taken that money. If you found a wallet, and you were, you were related.

Would you throw up on it? If you were, let's say, let's say you were that same position, yeah, in your life, like, Let's see, let's see you were that same position in your life. Like, at 25 was your whole bank that you found a wallet and it had $100 and it would you keep them cash and return the wallet or what would you. I will say that that particular experience turned me around and I said, I will never, if I ever find anything, I will just return it the way I found it. I won't take anything out of it.

Because I was like, I was so grateful. It saved me at that point. And I was like, I don't think I had ever found anything, you know, like I found a random $20 lying in the middle of the street once, but there's no way to return that. But you could put up a sign. But that's true. In the middle of the street.

Anyone lives at $20, and then you just take all the calls, try to figure out if they really do whatever it is. What it looked like, the letters on it. I don't know if it's in a wallet, you must leave it in the wallet. Yeah. If you just see some money on the street,

baby, that's not mine. That's yours. That's a straight money, baby. But if you see someone drop money, you've got to chase after them. You've got to chase after them and say, did you drop half of this money? Yeah, exactly.

And I get the other half because I picked it up. But ever since then, I felt like I just really empathized with whomever dropped it. And so I just have always tried to do that. Whoever dropped it, adopt it. True. It's works for babies. Whoever dropped it, adopt it.

So if you go over to your friend, you drop their baby, you have to adopt that baby. That works. He who drops must adopt. Works less better. All right. It works less better. We have to dig more.

We have to dig right. English better. We have to take it. We have to take it much less. We have to take it much better. We have to take a break. We have to take a break. We're back. I know I am. I'm here.

Is that our first break? That was our first break. Wow. It'm here. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Was that our first break? That was our first break. Wow. It was a little late. I'm so, so unable to keep tabs on how long we're going. Speaking of which, tabs no longer keeping tabs because they are going out of business. Tab soda?

Yes. Oh, it's still a thing. The skill of the four? Your mom was a big tab. Yes. And when I was a kid, we had tab in our house all day. Yeah. I could teach her right now.

Did you feel bad when you heard that news? When I just told it to you, I guess? I guess no, I'm surprised it's still a thing. But they do have the best logo. Yeah. Is iconic. Iconic can. I would really like a shirt, a tab shirt.

I could cone a pop. Got it, okay. I love it. I think you can easily get that. Right? I can too. Can get what? A tattoo?

A tattoo shirt? Yeah, why not? Like a vintage tee? Sure. Go get one. You don't even think about it. I will cycle through clothes pretty regularly. Like, I feel like shopping.

And then I like to go through. With a wall shop. I like to go through and get rid of things and donate and whatever and sell stuff. And lately I've been thinking, I kind of wish I've kept everything I ever had because I now miss random things. Like I'll just think like, oh my God, that sweater actually was kind of cute

from 10 years ago. That's where you start getting into hoarding where it's like, I remember cleaning out my parents' house when we moved them from where they were to where they are now. I don't want to say their location. Sure. The Secret Service is protecting them. And why should you?

But, you know, they had like a huge closet downstairs, just of storage of all this stuff. Like, stuff from when I was a kid, like my kid's records, and I was like, we should get rid of these. And my mom was like, kids records. My record's? My record's? Yeah, or like, you know, like Disney, turn the page records. I love the storybook records. Yeah, they're great, but I was like, but mom, there's no reason to have them anymore. I'm not a kid. And she's like, but I, you know, what if I ever want to look at them or listen to them? I'm like, you know, listen to them.

But that's the thing is, is like, you feel so connected to something from your youth. I was like, what if we just took pictures of these things? Well, that could maybe nice too, but I do feel like with stuff like that, I'm more likely to keep it than clothing. Like I have, I have all my dolls when I was a kid. Like so many things that my mom has saved. But part of it is that, part of the reason why I'm okay with it is because they've been really well preserved. Like, I have, should I talk over the line?

Don't we have a song? I have all my childhood planes. We only have a helicopter song. What's that? Yeah, helicopter. For someone, he's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. Hel, helicopter. How someone he's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. Helicopter.

Um, I had collected all these Beatrix Potter stuff animals as a kid. And I had every base animals of Beatrix part. You're just a lady. No, it's like every character. To my model, duck. You asked for Beatrix Potter stuff. And stuff to we had the commission. Scroom nutkin.

Anyway, my mom sent them to me like last Easter. Oh my god. You what? I pushed through talking about the wedding. I'm not mad that you interrupted. I'm mad that you know ruined Scroom nutkin because now he's com related. He's always been cum. He said the most.

He said the most. There's like 20 stuffed animals and I have them all and they're all like perfect. And I guess I'm I'll never get rid of them. I don't know what to add. I don't know. Like I'm just like I love them. And I do actually buy stuffed animals for myself.

So like whatever like I like them. But it's a weird thing to have like all of this stuff from him. There's a lot of stuff I can get rid of. I finally learned that lesson where it's like You know, you sort of if you have a box of old stuff, you sort of look at it and then you realize yeah Okay, I saw it again. Now I'm done. You know, there are there are things I kept what's like it? What's something that you can get rid of and what's something you keep? Honestly, there were things.

I was a person who would keep a lot of things for sentiment like ticket stubs and things like that. Birthday cards. Yeah, and then I would put out like a ticket, like just a ticket like a raffle type ticket. And I'm like, I don't know what this fucking is. I have no idea, but this was, whatever this was, it was extremely important to me.

It's connected to some girl that I loved or whatever. Now I can't remember at all, but a harder thing is, paper stuff is very easy for me to get rid of. Objects are harder for me. If it's like a weird little, any weird little totem for when I was a kid. And then I think about toys that I loved when I was a kid. And then I think about, like toys that I loved when I was a kid, like that'll pop up in a movie

or something, it's like, oh my God, I used to have that. And I think I could get that now, just to like, right. What would that be like to have that in my field of vision whenever I wanted to remind me of whatever it is? At a certain point, you would edit it out of your field of vision. Like, you would be.

Yeah, exactly. And it would have no idea. But you know what it is? I realize it's the feeling of, I want to hold that thing again. Right. Yeah. That I remember from like when I was a kid, that we had these, they were like,

like a large version of Army men kind of, they were civil war action, like kind of Army men. Were you on the good side? But they were under the bat side. We had both sides. Oh, both sides. You can't have fun. war actually like kind of army men. Were you on the good side? But they were under the bat side. We had both sides. Oh, both sides. You can't have fun at both sides.

You have lots of war with one army? Both sides. Very fine people. Very fine people on both sides. And they were like large. Look at this, look at this equaler, whatever the fuck. Yeah, they're, oh, that's a helicopter. No, lower.

Yeah, it's a helicopter. It's a helicopter. No, lower. It's a helicopter. It's a helicopter helicopter. The helicopter's out. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. Helicopter. And I thought it would be, I could feel it in my hand.

Do you know what I mean? When I pictured it, I could feel it in my hand. The weight of it, what it felt like. And I was like, well, I'm not gonna search for this online. What am I gonna do? Yeah, you can already feel it. Yeah. But you could. I've definitely done that. I've re-bought things. Even some shoes that I had in high school that I got rid of, and then I bought them again. There's stuff that I think if you miss and you're like, oh, I threw that away accidentally

or something, then you can re-buy it. But there was a point when I was, someone when I went to college, one of my teacher says, well, you're obviously very well read. And in my head, I was going, no, I'm not. I never read a book in high school. Like I did reports just based on summaries and stuff. We're talking about books.

And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna go and buy, like, go to used bookstores and buy, like, all the classic literature that I've never read and teach myself, you know? And then what happened? So I would then, like, everywhere I went, go to a used bookstore and look through these certain authors and find these books and stuff. And so I had a huge collection of books that when we moved here, I was like, I just looked through them and I was like, you know what?

I have literally had this collected edition of Play-Doh for 30 years have never cracked it open. It's safe to say I'm not gonna read this book. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I just, I don't need them all. That's kind of freeing. Like I feel like things like homework, things that you've bought,

and then you're like, I need to let it go. That feels good, because it's just, it looms. And then when you see it on the shelf, I feel like, I'm an asshole. I gotta get to that. I gotta get to that. I gotta complete set of homework. And I was like, I don't wanna do this.

Well, you like to go to colleges and pay for paper. Yes, I do. Pay for people to write papers for you, even though you're not on top of it. Absolutely. I feel like we might have talked about that, but I do know someone who does that. He's paid to write people's.

Really? Is it your husband, my cat? No, it could be. That does seem like a racket in the middle of that. It seems like a side hustle for him. I will say one other thing when I was moving my parents, I was like looking through all of their stuff. And I found a lot of mementos like newspapers and stuff. And I found one moment.

I found, oh, that was the other thing. If I was ever in the whole right of Joe Pantleyano and said, do not trust him, don't believe his lies. If I was ever in the newspaper, they bought six copies and kept six copies. Yeah. And kept them. Yeah. So I was like, I think it's nice to have a hard copy of a thing you were in. Yeah. But I feel like I don't have the dedication to cut it out. Yeah, because I do think it'd be better if it was cut out. They kept it, they would keep the entire paper. Oh, I mean, I have like some full papers from like, I have the full paper from 9-11.

I have the full paper from 9-12 would be a little more instant. Yeah, I just don't like why are you looking at the whole day? They printed it. Oh, 9-11 goes. Yeah, I just don't like why are you on the day they printed it. Oh, 9-11 goes. Okay. We're getting too close. Maybe it was 9-12, but I think it was 9-11. I think it was 9-12. No, but they printed it. They maybe they didn't get sure. Did you hear what happened yesterday? Well, whatever. I had the one that had in store newsies on the corner extra extra not allowed.

Right now. And I had the one from when Obama won. I think I had the Obama one, but but anyway, so I'm looking I'm looking through their mementos. I love it. I'm looking through their mementos and I sometimes it's printed in like New York and they're like cranking it out and handing

it out. Well, normally it depends on when the papers are printed. I'm going to find out if it's normally newspapers are printed. I don't remember. I'd like two in the morning so they're delivered at five. But isn't there a breaking news? They sometimes do an extra edition, which is what the news is when they go extra extra. That means like something just happened and we printed an extra edition, which is what the newsies when they go extra extra that means like something just happened and we printed an extra

But then the orange County register was printed in the afternoon Okay, because I was a paper boy and I delivered it. Oh now we get That was I came out of retirement That was I came out of retirement We got big news we're gonna eat all We signed the contract Roto Rusty old little bike We found your original bike. Oh, I remember watching those towers come down and say it's 9-11 It truly is not it was crazy how quickly they coined it

I'll say it's 9-11. It truly is 9-11. It was crazy how quickly they coined it. Because it happened at 9-11 on 9-11. Like with in-in-1-1, it's like there's a lot of happen. Within an hour people were calling it 9-11. It's in my memory. No, no. Yes, they were.

Yes, they were. No, why would they be calling it 9-11? Within an hour people were saying, people were saying it happened at 9 11 on 9 11 How you know and and within like I swear within an hour people were saying 9 11 is a day we'll never forget and then people just kept calling it 9 11 I don't I don't think within an hour before Dude that the date that was that was happening at the moment who knows That was happening at the moment, too, no

Never But so I found Google I found these yes term 911 Larry oh my people like literally Google this Oh See SN crossbeast still now people are dumb. What was the 911 building called The night 11 building I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I had me in it, I'm like, kind of looking through it. I'm like, why do you have these? And she goes there and she points at the,

at the, she points at the headline. She points at the headline every day. She points at the major headline of the day and it's like an abortion clinic in Orange County being picketed. And she goes, I was there. I'm picketing. And she had kept the paper. Wow. She was picketing against the abor

Yes. And I just go, I got mom, we're throwing this away. Just like they do all those babies at the abortion abortion That is crazy She is very proud Alright we need to take a break And we're back Hello Hi Do we have a threacher?

Yes You bet your ass we do Thank God I think, God, I bet my ass. Did I get my ass back? You get two asses now. I bet against it. So you can have my ass. It's your to plat. Ask platter plaster. This is submitted by

swallow. At swallow. Oh, I'm sorry. I sang over. Who is it? Are you? At Shwala. Shwala. At Shwala. At Shwala.

Shwala. Shwala. Shwala. This person loves the Shwala. This game is a reversal of Half-Life. You start with a 7.5 second scene. We played Half-Life about five episodes ago. People seemed to really like it.

They really did. And we liked it. It was fun. That was where we improvved a two minute scene and then condensed it to one minute, then to 30 seconds, then to 15 seconds, then to seven seconds, then to two seconds. Yeah, so now we start with a 7.5 second scene.

Why is it 7.5 seconds? Because then it can double the 15 and 30. Okay. We might take it to eight. Sorry, I was a math major. So start with a 7.5 second scene. Wait, when you were an English major, you just read books about math.

Yes. In English. Start with a 7.5 second scene. Then repeat the scene. But this time it's 15 seconds, adding details as need be, then 30 seconds, then two minutes, up to four minutes, or eight minutes if you feel up to it, we're not doing an eight minute scene.

Eight minutes. I don't think we're doing a four minute scene either. No, I'm not. Two. See how far we get. Okay, so who's keeping time? I have my clock open if you want me to do it. I can do it, I have the time.

I agree. Is there any parameter of how we start the scene or is it just like do we need a suggestion or anything like that? Well, last time I guess we did locations, right? Oh, okay. I can give a location. Great. The location is Theatalabi. Theatalabi. All right, are we guys ready? Yes. And go. Hi, one ticket for this theater production, please. Oh, okay, I'm sorry.

Which one was it that you wanted to see? There's a couple starting. Which one was it, honey? This afternoon, we have a few different stages. I'm sorry. That's it. So wait, I think I fucked it up because should it be that we're just trying to get a bunch of stuff out?

And then we add? I think it's you. I think so. I don't know. Yeah. I think I shouldn't do a scene. It should be fact fact fact fact fact. Okay, let's start. Okay. Feater lobby. Ready? Mm-hmm. Hi, one ticket. Okay. They're all dead. Oh, no, we have to get out of here. It's too late. For me? All of us. Okay. Oh, that was better. All right. Going up to 15 seconds. Do you want to second? Hey, birds, shut up.

Oh, they don't listen. They don't wait back. I tell you. All right, so we, I'm trying to remember it now because I was working on the timer. Okay, I sort of remember. Okay, let's try it. So now 15 seconds. Okay.

Okay. Hi there, could we get one ticket for the show? Yeah, you just want one for the both of you? Yeah, we're gonna do your seat. Hey, I'm sorry, I have an announcement to make. They're all dead. Wait, the actors? Yes, all of them.

Oh, we gotta get out of here. It's too late, you're dead too. For me too? Okay. All right. It's coming together. You're dead too. For me too. OK. All right. All right. It's coming to go. See how those details are sprinkled up.

Little by little. Oh, so those details are sprinkled up. All right. 30 seconds and go. Hi, one ticket please. For the both of you. Yeah, we're going to share a seat if that's OK. Yeah, that's fine with me.

OK, great. Oh, boy, I can't wait to see this show. Oh, the lights are coming up. They usually go down. Yes, hi, everyone. I'm the theater manager. I don't usually like to be on the stage. It scares me, but they're all dead.

I'm afraid. Wait, who, the actors? Yes, the actors are all dead. Of what? There's a gas leak. We got to get out of here. It's too late. Wait, for me too, I have a... Yes It's too late. Wait for me to I have

Yes, you're all dead. No, but I have this mask time It's working. It's working. All right details are being seeped out going up to a minute All right, and go hi one ticket please for the it's a wonderful life stage production. Yes And that's one ticket for both of you. Oh, yeah, we're just gonna share a seat. This is my baby. Oh, okay. Well, she seemed like a woman All right, let's come in. Oh boy, I can wait to see this show wait a minute like a woman usually lights We turn lights up turn lights go down, but instead they're coming up. I'm the lights go down, but instead they're coming up. Hello everyone, I'm Harold Fultamire, Jr. Wait, I gotta ask.

Yes. You're the son of Harold Fultamire. I don't want to get into that. Who would have time? Who, the composer of Axel F. I don't want to talk about that. Composer of the Running Man score? Yeah, I have a very important outfit.

Okay. There's the actors from the play. Are you about to see? Yeah. I'm afraid they're all dead. Oh my God. Wait, what happened? Well, this is embarrassing, but there's a gasoline here.

Oh my God, we gotta get out of here. Why isn't embarrassing? Is it out of someone's butt? Here's why it's embarrassing. We gotta get out of here. No, because you're all going to die too. Me too. Oh no.

Time. Okay. All right. Now two minutes, right? Yeah, two minutes. And this is the last one. Okay, maybe. And this is where we'll cap it. Just to be high. Although I am excited about the four minutes I can't lie. But we're gonna do the eight minutes. And we're here 16. We got time. All right, here we go. Hi, one ticket please for this. Just one for the, it's a wonderful life for both of you.

Well, this is a baby. She's just. Oh, I know. Of course, she just looked like a woman. Is that I thought, I thought children under two were free. No, you're totally right, sir. I didn't. Why did you, you thought this was a woman?

That was my glasses on. I just saw her long hair. Where'd you leave your glasses? I left them on my nightstand. Well, not my nightstand. I can't get your seat. I'm so excited for this show. Don't be.

It's not very good. How weird that they would hear me and announce that over the. No, I'm the astronaut. I'm right now. Oh, I thought that was a loud speaker. No. Oh, hi.

You thought I was a loud speaker? Well, you're speaking very softly, but you're right next to me. You're not doing the fusion. Okay. Oh, hi, it's loud speaker. Well, you're speaking very softly, but you're right next to me, so I do my confusion. Okay. Well, I'm excited to see the show in any case, you know, whatever it is you don't like. Just sit down, you and your wife.

No, it's a wonderful life. And this is not my wife. She is not my wonderful wife. Is that your beautiful wife? No. All right, well, I'm so excited to see the show. I hope my baby doesn't cry during this entire thing. Yeah, I hope so too. Who brings up baby?

See it's a wonderful life in the middle of the day. She's got to learn. Oh my gosh. The lights are turning the lights on. The lights are usually go down, but they're coming up. I'll go out there now. Hello, everyone. I'm the theater manager, Harold Fultzer-Mire, Jr. Oh, wait. I've got asked. Oh, no. I know what's coming. You're the son of Harold Fulton, my her junior. And wait, I've sorry, I got to go. I know what's coming. You're the son of Harold Fulton, my her. The composer of axle. Excellent. Yeah. Running man. I'm sorry. I got asked. What's your favorite candy? Oh,

probably, Jolly Regis. That's surprising. I surprise a lot of people. I have one right here. Oh, I'm sorry. I hit you in the eye. Just like Fabio. Just like David Bowie. That's right. You got that that candy stick right in the eye. Cool. Oh my God. What's wrong? Oh, yes. I forgot why I came out here. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry, but all the actors are dead. Oh, what? The gas leak. Just got. We gotta get out of here. It's too late. You're old to. Oh, time. Well, we're adding a lot to the middle. Let's do one for a minute. Come on. You thought we were going to do four? We're doing four.

Let's do four. All right, here we go. Hi, one ticket for its wonderful life. Oh, the musical. Just one for the. The all white cast. Yeah, just one for the two of you. Why would you advertise that? We just make it very clear that we haven't gotten to the diversity thing. So we just haven't got around to it or.

Yeah, so we just make it very clear that the cast is all white in case that's a problem. I think Google, I guess that wasn't in the advertisement. Sorry, just one to get for you in your life. Yeah, this is my wife, this is my kid. I thought the children under two were free. That's very big on the advertisement No, no, no, and the all white version is very very tiny. I don't have a glass that I

I thought that was a woman No, she's my baby Yeah, I really poor vision. Okay, but I love my glasses Okay, I had to put this guy last night are you not a thing? Sorry. What they bought it? They buy it every time. Thank God I never grew. I love you. Just the way you are. One foot tall. Will you please take your seats, sir? Uh, I'm hearing an announcement. Apparently you're not. Me. I'm a person. You're not making an announcement. Right? I'm not. Well, I mean, I think I just

always said was I'm hearing an announcement. You know what? Yeah, if I could got me All right, go away, please all right. I'm gonna be back though. I'm so excited for the show I'm so excited. I can't I've always wanted to see this show I'm so excited. Okay, don't be if that's very good. Oh, why would they say that over the loudspeak? I didn't say I said it right next to you. Oh, you remember me? Yes. I thought it was a loudspeaker announcement.

Sit down, you and your wife. I mean, you're speaking very softly, but I heard it. I didn't know you were next to me, which hence I thought was a loudspeaker. I'm not a loudspeaker. You're a close talker though. Remember, Simon Felt? The comedian, yes.

No, he had a show. Why don't you and your wife just sit down? Why don't you and your wife know him from if you don't know him from the show? I? Why don't you and your wife just sit down? Why don't you and your wife just sit down? I know him from comedians and guards going to coffee. I love that show. It's great.

It features so many great up-and-comers. Like Alec Baldwin. All right. Well, sit down and shut up. All right. We'll do. Love you. He got me.

I can't do it. Say it. Oh, boy. Well, can't wait for those lights to go down and for this show to start. Yeah, I hope your baby doesn't cry during this. Who brings a baby? It's wonderful life midday show.

She's gotta learn about how wonderful life is. Can you think of any other way to teach her? I don't know, why would she cry? Can you use some childless hag? Yeah, I'm a childless hag. Well, you're gonna get a lesson from this show because she turns into an old maid at the end. Okay, well, let's just see about that.

And that's you. I'm gonna see about that. I'm gonna see about that. I'm gonna see about that. Why did you just yell with spoiler? So what, I'm supposed to yell spoiler alert? I mean, it would help. Spoiler alert, the knob falls off the railing.

Spoiler alert, Zuzuz pedals come into play. This was my birthday present. Spoiler alert, your birthday's on Christmas? The bank in Lowe. Is it Christmas? Yes, it's Christmas day. Oh my God, I'm alive. Do you want me to buy that goose? Yeah.

Turn the lights on, please. Hello, everyone. Usually the lights go down, but they're coming. They're coming in the lights are up. I'm the theater manager, Fulton by our junior where I got his here it comes. Are you the guy who composed Axel F? No, I'm his son. Oh, okay. I gotta ask. Yeah. What's your favorite candy? I got thrown the running man just so I don't worry. Jolly Rageers. Oh, I have one right here. Oh my god. I fabbied you. I mean David Bowie.

You remember when he got that lollipop stick stuck in his eye during Another question for you. What are you doing on stage? Oh, thank you. You reminded me The actors, you know for the play sure you're about to see You won't be seeing them because they're old. Oh no, what there's a gasoline at the field we gotta get out of here It's too late. We locked the doors so hard. Why would you let the doors? Yes especially for the employees you've been here longer. No!

We gotta get out! Time. Ha ha ha. Eight minutes? Two in a tear. Eight minutes is a long time. Four felt great. Let's try eight.

Let's just try one for eight. Okay. Why don't we, what have we tried it for six? Let's try it for eight. Here we go. And start. God, this person in front of me is just taking soul. And now, how does it go?

So it goes like this. You give me your credit card. And I just understand credit cards. Why? Because that's how I swipe it for me? Well, I'll put it in this chip holder. It's hard to get in. It's like swipe like 30 slang for stealing something, lady.

Excuse me, I'm 23 fucking Skadoo. Hey, you're agents in rude. The theater is my domain. Okay, I'm an old lady. That's true. To bring your hardwrapped candies. You know I did. I brought some celery sticks, wrapped in some of the wine. I'm a baby. That's your baby. It looks like your wife. What a weird insult. It was a cop, a bet. It was a baby. Um, Mrs. Glick, your card did go through. Are you married to Jim and he glink?

Who? You started selling the gum. I'm not trying to. Your card is... He's an interesting man. The black card was declined. So, you have cash. She's married to Jimmy Goliath. I don't have any cash.

You see, there was a fire at my house. Very old woman. Yeah. May I pay for your ticket? What a gallant. Just so you'll get the fuck out of here. So I can get into the theater. You've ruined the theater for me.

I've ruined the concept of the dance. I got to go spit on the ancient Greeks. Where are you going to find them? I've got a great good idea. Hi. Oh God, thank God. That was so obnoxious, wasn't it? I am not allowed to say. Legally or? Yeah, morally, legally. Yeah, I think she was fine. What, you're allowed to say she was fine? Well, I'm allowed to have a positive opinion. Okay, I mean, positive, I wouldn't really say,

we flash back to her first day on the job. Now, remember, you are not allowed to say negative things about anyone, but you are allowed to express positive opinions. Okay, so for example, I could say, Mommy, Mommy, don't lose this job. We need the money. Okay, let me just try one. Okay. Oh, God, Mommy, you're terrible at compliments. This isn't so bad. That's on the line. It does imply that it is a degree of bad though, which is negative. This could be worse.

You're my master. I need food tonight. Okay, okay. Sorry, Donald. Let me give you a scenario. Let's say a dinghy old broad is in live with a theater and she doesn't have any a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, You then you have somebody come up after she's gone. Uh-huh. And they want to complain about her because she took a long time. Sure.

What do you say? I think she was fine. Perfect, you've got the job. Great. Donald, were you getting advanced on her paycheck so I can eat tonight? Child, why are you here at the job interview? Why do you know so much about how it works?

I grew up too fast. There was in Stadley left. That's the one thing he told me about was advances on paycheck. We flashback now. Oh. Oh, flashback again. Flashback again. Hey, son.

Daddy, you're not leaving, are you? I got to get out of this, man. I know mommy's a bitch, but you got to stay. No, she's actually not. It's because of you that I'm leaving. of this matter. I know mommy's a bitch, but you gotta stay. No, she's actually not. It's because of you that I'm leaving. What? Yeah, you're weird. You do like adult.

Just because I read a lot and I have a IQ of 200. Yeah. And I'm a scientist already? Yeah. All of that combined? Yeah, it's frightening to me. Honey, don't go just because of him. I can't stand a baby.

You know I love you. What was it about, side? You just saw. Forever? Yeah. Put me outside. Yeah. Come on, in that little doghouse.

You'll be fine. What are the big doghouse? That one's for the dog, right? I can't have him on the property. I gotta go. Listen, son. No. Son. Here's't have him on the property. I gotta go. Listen son. No.

Son. Here's what I want you to know. And then I said the thing that you said before. About that I told you. You were gonna tell me about paycheck advances. Listen paycheck advances. You gotta get them when you can because sometimes you'll need food to eat.

Thanks, Danny. I love you so much. Yeah, which I can say the same goodbye. I love you. Wow. Oh my God. He hopped onto that semi-time. Right to the present day.

So you're just not allowed to say. Yeah, no, no, I'm not really, I'm, I mean, well, but who cares if you do where you don't? I mean, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I want to be real, I'm a real, I'm a real love you. And say that that one was a sloppy, cunt bitch. It was everything, okay?

Well, who cares? Like it's just like you could get another job. No, it's not that easy. Beautiful woman like you. Oh, stop. No, no. You could be a model. Oh, stop. No, I've tried flashback. Hey, hun. You, uh you you want a model for me?

Yeah, I saw your ad in the paper. It was what 50 cents for three nudes. Yeah, 50 cents. So do you have 50 cents on you? Blow this we So you're gonna give me three of your nudes Hey, look if you got the cash I got the Nudes. All right, all right. I don't have any on me I just got to take them real quick. So let me take my clothes off. There you go. Three Nudes. Extra extra three Nudes for sale. What? What's the date? September 11. Oh my God. Not 11. I'll be calling it that for an hour. Flashback to present. Anyway, one ticket. Just one for the both of you? Yeah. Well, yeah, this is she's going to sit on my lap. This is my baby. Oh, yeah. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wife. Oh, I didn't have my glasses on the way. No, no, no, no.

You said she'll come under two or three? No, they are. I just thought that was a woman. Oh, no, that was not. All right, anyway, one take. One take. Okay, and yeah, thank you for explaining. Okay, thank you.

Okay. She bought it. God, I can't stand her. God, but she bought it. She did buy the works every time. Amazing. All right. So glad that witch cursed me and I never grew.

Why did she curse you by the way? Oh glad that Witch cursed me and I never grew. Why did she curse you by the way? Oh, I cut her off and scratched her story. I never heard this story. I'm sorry. I don't know. It's like, we gotta move through this anyway. You know, 200 years old. Yeah, girl, I know all that stuff.

All right, we gotta sit down. We're off in carriage traffic. We gotta sit down. All right. Please take your seats. I don't sound like the wife. I'm a different person. I'm so excited for the show.

Well, don't be because it's not very good. I've seen it. First of all, it's an all-white cast. Oh, forgot about that. Yeah. Secondly, they're all doing black voices. Okay, that's not on the poster. No, it sure, it should be.

It's a weird choice. Okay, well, look anyway. Anyway, what is a weird choice. Okay, well look anyway You're gonna ask like what is a black voice while I put that in quotes, you know, okay, we're it's very nice to meet you Anyway, I got to sit down. Oh wow the lights usually go down and wife enjoy the show instead. They're going up I hope you and your Thank you. Oh, she's my she's my baby Anyway, baby who's this guy? Turn the lights on turn the lights on

Hello everyone. I'm the theater manager Harold Faltomire, Jr The ex-Aluf guy in the running man. Yes, and time. What's your candy? That's six minutes or eight minutes. That was eight minutes. Wow, it's flu because we're having such a flashbacks really ate into the time. They did in the great way. Oh That's gonna be it. Wow, what a fun time. Thanks everyone. Have a good suggestion. Oh my gosh.

Everyone needs to follow our Instagram because that's where it's really popping off. It's three to the US. That's right, we have an Instagram now, three to me, we're a three to me USA on Twitter and Instagram. Instagram, we started posting reference photos for some of the things that we talk about.

Yeah. And it's been fun. So follow. And also, if you're interested in hearing more, posting reference photos for some of the things that we talk about. And it's been fun. So follow. And also if you're interested in hearing more, you can binge these episodes five at a time on the Stitcher Premium app. That's absolutely correct. So there's three more just sitting up there right now on the Stitcher Premium app for you. If you're listening to this for free, of course it will keep coming out for free, but head over to Stitcher Premium and listen to the next three. Do you want me to explain how it works? No.

No, you sure? I think you should. I think I should. All right, go ahead. Okay, three of them is a podcast. You can hear every week for free, wherever you get your podcasts. But if you're a Stitcher Premium subscriber,

you get to hear some episodes early. So our new season, which is just debuted, we put the first five apps up on stature. It's a little bit in five zep, by the way. Five zep, hi, zep. There are two more five episode benches coming when episode, well, it's out right now. So we're first five are already out

and then the next five. So there's 10 episodes available. This is episode seven, but there are three more available. That's right. And when the 11th episode of the new season comes out on December 31st, New Year's Eve, there will be another then the episode of 11 to 15. The next five will immediately all be together on a stature premium. Boy, you explain that perfectly, not confusing at all. You get five at a time. Do you think it's a stature premium? And if you don't want to get such a premium, you get it every week. And if you don't want to binge it, don't binge it.

If you don't want to listen, don't listen. If you get such a premium and you get five at a time and you're going to be sad next week when you don't have a new one, don't binge it. Don't binge it. Next week. You got it early, but don't binge it. Here's what you do. Listen week to week, but listen the day before everyone else. Yeah, just keep start the Reddit thread off. Yeah, you can say spoilers. Ruined it for people. Yes.

All right, that's gonna be it. That's gonna be it. That is gonna be all for listening. Thank you to the listeners. Thank you to our producer Josh. Yes. And we'll be back next week. We will be back the running man. Bye. We'll be back to Running Man.

Bye. We'll be back to Running Man. All right, bye! you