Threedom - Threevisiting: Star Trek: Tiny Desk

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss autotune and stripping before playing Benjamin Button Scene.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Freedom! Hi, everyone. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Yeah, you have it. We should do it. Yeah, you have it. We should do it at karaoke though. Yeah, that would crush. It's just 15 seconds long. Absolutely. People are like, what? Who are they? Crush.

What are they saying? Three, three what? It would get people pumped, and then when it's over, they'd be like, what happened? What the fuck was that? I was excited, I'd never heard this song before. You were like fucking just selling it up there, and now it's done?

And now I get to sing the greatest love of all? Great. Because the... Welcome to Freedom, I'm... Paloran. I'm... Lot. I'm...

P-Lol. P-Lol. A combination of Paul and... Remember Lot from the Bible. Oh, what. Paul. A combination of Paul and... Remember Lot from the Bible. Oh, what a guy. Throwback. Man, I wish my wife would be turned

into a pillar of salt. Throwback. Throwback Thursday with Lot from the Bible. What if there was pop-up videos but for the Bible? Where it'd just be like Bible verses and then like... Throwback, John 3.16. I feel like I would never do this because I don't want the comments, Where it would just be like Bible verses and then like people pop up like, remember? I feel like I would never do this because I don't want the comments,

but if I just post a picture of Jesus and wrote TBT. Throw up, you're saying Jesus. Remember this one? Remember the last supper? Wanna feel old? This is Jesus now. It's him in heaven.

It's the shroud of Turin. It's not him now. Come on. It's his indentation. It's the shroud of Turin. It's not him now. Come on. It's his indentation. It is his indentation. That tortilla. That tortilla. The Jesus tortilla. Jesus tortilla.

Jesus tortilla. Jesus tortilla. What if Jesus- What if that song like Tangerine Speedo? No. I beg your pardon, ma'am. Nope. Nope.

Hold on. Tangerine Speedo. Wait, no, I ma'am. Nope, nope. Hold on. Tangerine Speedo. Wait, no, I'm shocked you don't know what I'm talking about. Okay, so what if Jesus came to- Are you really? What if Jesus came down and hung out for two months on earth? Would we believe it?

No. Or not? Two months? Yeah. And he was just like, I'm Jesus. Here's a cup, look, I'll throw you a- Tangerine Speedo. Tangerine Speedo. It seems like the lyrics are cha cha cha.

I feel like you would know this. It's no. Was this from like the nineties when last music came back or what is this? Combustible Edison? Who is it? It's caviar. And turn it the fuck down. I'm going to play some Tangerine Dream.

If Jesus hung out for two months and tried to convince her, that sounds like the plot of a bad movie. No, but it's good life the plot of a bad movie. No, but it would be- Like bad jokes. But it's good life. This ain't no movie. Bad movie, good life.

It is not plot of bad movie, it is plot of good life. I'm not as rushed as I thought I was. Oh, I love that. Okay, we're gonna stretch out and just fucking do a super long episode here. This is Tangerine Dream. Is Mike Dunn playing chess with a tattoo? With a tattoo?

Yeah. All of his interests combined. Yeah, exactly. Oh, oh, oh. He likes tattoos? He plays basketball on chess boards and gets tattoos while it's happening. He likes tattoos, he has 50.

He does? Yeah. Where? One is a number, 42. All over his 50. He does? Yeah. Where? One is a number, 42. All over his damn body. Really? Yeah. But I don't think I've ever even...

You saw him swimming in Hawaii. I don't know, he has... Oh, yeah. He doesn't have 50, but he has probably 20. Where? All over. In various places. Do you want me to list his body parts, you perv?

Does he have one around his penis ring? What is this, that Lever 2000 commercial? Remember that soap? Are they still around? Yeah, I do. Lever? Lever 2000? Yeah, so 90s.

What was it? Was it 90s? Yeah, you wouldn't call it 2000 if it was past 2000. That's fucking good point, man. What was it though? What was different about it? It was a soap. No, it wasn't the 90s. Leaver 2000 was green.

I lived here. I remember seeing those commercials. Yeah, but you lived here in the 90s. In the late... Come on. I met you in 95. Scott, I know, but that's the mid-90s. Yeah, that's what we're saying. Leaver 2000 bar soap.

What is it, though? It's just a soap. It's the number one soap that guys love. That they said you could use it all over. This is an ad, by the way. All over? Where? Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 6,000 bar soap. What is it though? It's just a soap. It's the number one soap that guys love. That they said you could use it all over. This is an ad by the way. All over, where? Ad. What part of your body are you not using soap on?

It's the number one soap guys love, ad. Well, like you would use it on your face and your body as opposed to like having a special facial cleanser. Oh yeah, your face gets special treatment. You need, it's what people see. Anyway, I can't figure this out. What? Anyway, I can't figure this out. What? Anyway, I can't figure this out.

What are you trying to figure out? What year it was? Oh. Popular. Did you do Lever? I wanna be popular. Lever 2000 ad? No.

Commercial? Ad. Advertisement? Okay, hold on, I'll do that now. Okay. For all of your 2000 parts. I wanna be popular. I'm under some beanie thing,

was that better than. I've never seen Wicked. 1990, Lever 2000 bar. I wanna be popular. I'm understand be anything, was that better than. I've never seen Wicked. 1990, Lever 2000 bar soap commercial. Wow, 1990. 1996, 1995. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Man, I stand corrected. Oh shit, oh shit.

Yeah, you do. But I guess they didn't survive. They're still available on Amazon. Oh really? On Amazon. Yeah. Come on Lever 2000 sponsors, we're talking about you for so long.

I want my skin to dry out. Take it up to 3,000. Lauren, have you ever considered having a recording career, a singing career as well? Yeah, I wanna be a pop star. Why not? I wanna be a pop star. Why?

What made you ask that question? Because you were saying, I mean, you could be like Lindsay Lohan or something. I wanna be a pop star. Serena Gomez. Serena Williams. Serena Williams. Yeah, I've always considered being a pop star

and the only thing that's stopping me is everything. I've always considered. Why not? Have you, Scott? I would only do with autotune on every syllable. Yeah. Every, every syllable. The consonants.

Especially. I wonder if the autotune needs to... Take a break? Take a break, autotune. For like two years. I wonder if autotune needs to take a chill pill. Please, relax. They're a little too much.

It's like there's in tune and then there's in tune. Yeah. It's like Autotune became a style of its own. It wasn't even about me hitting the notes. It was about sounding like you're warped. Autotune became a style of its own. Everyone from this guy to that girl was doing it. And then somebody died.

After the break. Mr. Autotune. Tragedy. Did you see the Autotune documentary on Netflix? Yes, I did. What, there's a documentary? Yeah, I liked it a lot. Did Cher really invent it?

She claims. No, no. What? No, no. Not invent, but she was the first to. Well, they do talk about how they had to, they used it on her, and then they had to say that they were not doing it.

Because it sounds illegal. Well, it's also like she's a real singer, and so to imply that they were tuning her, because no one knew what it was back then. Yeah, but when she's singing, do you know, do you know, it doesn't sound like a voice. I thought it was just that one part.

That's what I remember is that one part sounds specifically like out in the open, auto-tuned, like this is an effect we're doing. Yeah, but they had to say it was like an effect or something. They couldn't say auto-tune because to imply that they needed to tune her singing. Right, was it already called that at that time? I think so, yeah.

I think it's been around for a bit. And people would just, people would use it very sparingly. But then I, like they would go. It's got into mind me turning a little tiny dial. It's like a little nipple. It's just a teeny little, ew. I'm barfing. It licks my fingers.

I'm barfing. I'm literally barfing. But then, but then my man T-Pain, he like heard it on a song and was like, what is that? And then would search plugins on, on, on like CD-ROMs for, for years. Which he was getting for free in the mail every day.

He was, for years he searched for it. And then he found one and was like, oh my God, this is it. And then turned it all the way up and was like, this is it. Oh, I did a thing with T-Pain during the pandemic and he was really funny. He's great.

Yeah. And he, on this documentary, you hear him sing and he has a very nice voice. He does have a good voice. His Tiny Desk concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His Lower Decks concert. Yeah.

Great. See his Star Trek's Lower Decks episode? He's incredible. Star Trek Tiny Desk. Yeah. Yeah. Are you on Lower Decks? From. Are you on a party desk? From time to time, yeah.

I have a recurring. I'm on it from time to time as well. Divya, am I great on it? Not on it. Am I great on it? I wouldn't know, because I don't recognize your face. Okay.

Who did you play? My face is in. The spaceship? My character's name is Jen, I think. You're an Andorian, right? You're blue. Oh God, yes I am. With an antennae.

I am blue, I have an antennae. I guess I didn't know that was you. Well, now you do. Was it great? And I play a bird man. Yes, you play Harvey Birdman. I play Harvey Birdman, turning it off. I play Harvey Picar.

And I wander into all the scenes and it's weird. Harvey Picar. I remember loving that movie. American Splendor. I haven't thought about that name in such a long time. I know. He used to be on Letterman all the time. Yeah. My gibbet lost a gibbet.

Oh no. No. You have gibbits on gibbits? Well, I have a whole bag of gibbits. I have to go through, you know, my plan was when I was supposed to come to Tammoshanter was to bring everyone a big pile of gibbits. Whoa.

But I'll bring them to you. I didn't come because we didn't have a babysitter and then only one of us was supposed to come to Tammoshanter was to bring everyone a big pile of gibets. Whoa. But I'll bring them to you. I didn't come because we didn't have a babysitter and then only one of us could go and then COVID and just everything. It was just interesting. I would have loved to have seen baby Holly at the table in a booster seat.

Would have been cute. I would have bought her a nap. Wow, an app? Mm-hmm. That would have been nice. Twitter, Instagram. What? Did you say you would buy her a nap? would have been nice. Twitter, Instagram. What? Did you say you would buy her a nap?

I'll buy her a nap, yeah. You want me to buy you a nap right now? Yeah. Oh, you punched me in the face. Oh my God, a buddy of mine got punched in the face walking down Los Feliz Boulevard. Oh no. Like out of nowhere?

Yeah, he was, there was a, an unhoused individual who was speaking in, he couldn't understand what he was saying. My friend had headphones on and then he said, what? And then the guy punched him in the face. He wasn't even being kind of confrontational. Yeah, he was saying what? And then the guy just punched him,

like sucker punched him in the face. How was it? Do you think he said, guy about to get punched in the face says what? Yeah. And then two other guys came up and they were like, he almost did that to us. Like this guy was going around.

Oh, good looking out. Thanks for protecting me. He almost did that to us and we watched him do it to you. Yeah. Fucking idiots. Yeah, I know. Scary. I don't know who signed him on.

Scary to just get punched when you're walking down the street. It is, I remember walking down. If I get punched, I want to get punched for something. You know? Exactly, I want to earn it. You'll get punched for, it'll be worth, it'll mean something.

It'll mean yeah, earn this. Where are these coming from? Trees. But what tree has this? Oh, this. Yeah. Okay. Don't worry about it.

Well, I only saw palm trees, so I was like, what's this little thing? Palm trees. Apple rich lune. Ooh. La la la la la. See, I could be a pop star. La la la la la. La la la la la. See, I could be a pop star. La la la la la.

La la la la la. Sing a song like. Hey, here she is to sing her new song. Sing a song like. A pocket full of rye. Everything's. A witch spell. Sing this song, sing this song.

Everything's tight up here. Everything's tight up here in my pussy. Okay. Dear oh dear. What is that? It's nothing, it's just a song. Oh, everything's tight up here. my pussy. Okay. Dear, oh dear. What is that? It's nothing. It's just a song. Oh.

Everything's tied up here. Everything's tied up. I was trying to imagine what Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera would touch on. Here he is to sing his new single, Everything's Tied Up Here, Scott Ackerman. Everything's tied up here. It starts with a chorus. And it ends right there. It's like the Three Dime Things book.

It's the shortest single in recording history. It's perfect for a busy night of karaoke. Okay, I do want to know what it is. Tired of waiting for your turn, only to get bumped off the list? Now with shorter songs, everyone gets a chance. What is the shortest number one song in history? I want to know that.

And could, is there, is it possible to go to number one with a song that's 20 seconds long? I have a guess of the shortest. People requesting it. What do you think? Number one song. What do you think? Every Day by Buddy Holly.

It's a short song. Every day, it's getting closer. You guys are making it longer actually. Every day, it's getting closer. Going faster than the rollercoaster. Love like I will surely come my way Hey, hey, hey, hey I'm looking this up.

Shortest song. This is interesting to me. Yeah. Stay by Maurice Williams. Oh, I was gonna say Stay by the Slowest Mike karaoke song. And the Zodiacs at just one minute and 38 seconds in length. Is that the stay just a little bit longer? And how long is the girth? I don't know. and the Zodiacs at just one minute and 38 seconds in length.

Is that the stage that's a little bit longer? I don't know. That Jackson Brown famously quotes in his, The Loadout. A little bit longer. Oh won't you stay. Wait, why was it like, don't you feel like in the 80s, those songs were used so heavily, like the 50s songs, 60s songs.

Why was the eighties all about that? It's boomer nostalgia. So they were capitalizing on that, but do we do that now? I guess nineties are going back in style, but that's not the same thing. That's not what I mean. It's a little more because I think they did that so heavily in the eighties.

It's now a very specific thing. Like if you watch Yellow Jackets and they have all these songs in the 80s, it's now a very specific thing. Like if you watch Yellow Jackets and they have all these songs from the 90s, it's like, this is the 90s. But it was very- But that's not what they were doing, but they weren't always, the shows weren't always taking place in the 60s.

Yes, exactly. It was very specifically tailored though towards a generation of people who all of the sudden got really rich when they used to be hippies in the 60s. And it's for people who are like now really well off and have really nice cars to sort of feel like, oh yeah, I'm grooving like I was when I was in the 60s. Why are they rich?

Because all the boomers fucking. Boomered. We got boomered. We got boomered. We got boomer. Because the boomers got rich. Lauren, you're a millennial, is that correct? I'm a millennial.

I think I'm an, what's it called? Like an elder millennial or something. Right, and then Scott and I are Gen X. My old band leader, Kid Cudi. Oh, he would've used the answer. I'm not gonna answer that shit. Kid Cudi's beautiful trip is shortest Hot 100 hit ever. Wow.

And how long is it? It is, this is the problem. All of these are on Billboard and you need to fucking sign up for an account on Billboard. Oh, come on, Billboard. Who are you kidding? I'm really sick of stuff like that when you're just looking at a website.

Yeah, come on. Give to get it. Come on. Yeah. Give me the info. And I also don't like when it's a news story that seems really important and they're like, you gotta pay, I'm like, if it's really important, you should just be telling me. Exactly.

It's like, important COVID update. If it's that important, I should already know it. I'm like, whatever. If it's like some celebrity shit or whatever. No one's gonna pay for that. Well, I'm saying that's the thing. If you wanna, if you wanna, like we'll give you the news about the world ending.

Okay, fine. But if you wanna get this juicy stuff, you gotta pay a little bit more. Yeah. Time in a Bottle is only two minutes and 24 seconds. If I could put time in a bottle. I used to have this Muppets album that that was on. Oh man, when the Muppets covered,

She Drives Me Crazy. If I could think time in a bottle man, when the Muppets covered, she drives me crazy. You could say time. Kermit and Piggy do, she drives me crazy. She drives me crazy. It's really good. I, a friend of mine who is a- Rollin' gift? Millennial.

Yeah. I didn't want to say, I don't want to name drop. A friend of mine, let's call him our present. A friend of mine- This is R. Kelly of mine who is, please don't add that one to the rotation of horrible people you bring up. Please don't. She is a millennial and she only knew the song Kokomo as being done by the Muppets.

Oh, I wish. And after we were talking about that over dinner and she sent me the link to the Muppets doing it and it's like, this makes so much more sense as a Muppet song. Oh yeah. A lot of songs would be better if they were just Muppet songs. It's Kermit singing Kokomo.

I know that version. And Piggy shows up at the end. She's mad because he checks out one of the hula dancers. She punches him of course. Yeah. Their relationship is toxic. Absolutely. It needs to be canceled.

But we've all been in one of those. Haven't we? But at the same time, it's like, which, which, they're just better separately. I had a girlfriend who would use karate on me. She'd be in space a lot. She was a pig. That's not okay to say. What if she's literally a pig? Then it is okay to say. Thank you. Do you think that it's okay to date pigs? She was some pig. I think it's okay to date them if it's consensual.

How do you get consent from a pig? They have to oink in your mouth. There's spider friend writes yes in a web. In a web. Yes. That happened in Charlotte's web, right? What did the spider write? Some pig.

Some pig. And then there was something else. I think they said I'm dying or something. Goodbye. Okay, I haven't read this since I was 15 or something. I haven't read this since I was one year old. What is the plot of Charlotte's Web? A spider befriends a newborn pig.

There's also a rat. Rat, named Templeton. He considers a fair to be a virtual smorgasbord, but that's only in the TV version. I can really picture the TV version. Me too. It's like really burned in my brain. Yeah, I saw that when I was young.

And the spider befriends the pig and the pig is entered into a contest. Oh, first, first- To be killed? It's- Yeah, well, he doesn't know that when he wins, he's slaughtered. It's set in a dystopian future. It's kind of like animal farm.

It's the running man. Because the, the spider writes some pig in the web, I believe in the barn, the pig that, that gains the pig notoriety. He wins. I don't know why it doesn't give the spider notoriety. Yeah. Really? The spider's like. By the way. The pig didn't do that. I don't know why it doesn't gain the spider notoriety. Yeah.

Really? The spider's like. By the way. The pig didn't do that. It's like when it's called Charlotte's Web and like, I always think the pig is named Charlotte and it's all about the pig. And it's like, it's really about the Charlotte. Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. Or is the girl named Charlotte? I don't think I could. No, it's the spider. The Charlotte is spider. The Charlotte is. The Charlotte is spider.

The Charlotte is spider. I don't think I could read anything in a web. I bet you could if you tried. You know what I was hosing down a web that was in a not a good location. I feel a little bad doing it, but they can do it again. Exactly. Build back better. And it would not go down. I was like, this is the strongest.

I was spraying a hose on it and it would not come down. I was like, this is wild, but they can do these little guys. It's incredible how strong webs are. Yeah. It's really wild. I don't even think that if I saw a web that had words in it, it would not come down. I was like, this is wild, but they can do these little guys. It's incredible how strong webs are. Yeah, it's really wild. I don't even think that if I saw a web that had words in it, I would even notice. Well, that's what I wanted to bring up,

as I think you would. Really? When you look at a spider web. It would look markedly different from any web you'd ever seen. If it was like all across a room, like a surprise banner or something, maybe. Yeah, well, like that's what the Cryptkeeper got

for a surprise party. Surprise? Or should I say, surprise? Maybe. Yeah, well, like, that's what the Crypt Keeper got for a surprise party. Surprise? Or should I say, surprise? Okay, Carol Channing. Surprise? But that's... I like that game.

I like that game, too. I think I did a pretty good Crypt Keeper. You did. Yeah, it was fantastic. It all just sounded like Carol Channing. Well, those two sound alike, that's not my fault. Carol Channing is the original cryptkeeper. She really was.

Who's the voice of the cryptkeeper? John Kaseer. Wow. Who's that? The voice of the cryptkeeper. That's it? We could go on this for hours. He's done other stuff, but that is his most famous thing.

It would be great if when you were in show business, you got one job and that was it, and then you could never have another job. I mean, if it lasted forever, I wouldn't mind. Okay, I guess so. But that's also something. That's what I'm looking for right now is one job in show business. One job.

In show business. Yeah, that'd be a joke. And you get health insurance. People complain about being on a show for too long. That's such a, I would never complain about that. That's a great thing to have. It would be so cool to be on something like 60 minutes. Yeah.

It's like, you just know. As someone they're doing an expose. Yeah. That's the dream. That's the dream. Hey, you're paying attention to me, right? Um, but yeah. Sure.

I caused a bunch of child deaths, but, uh, you're talking about me. 60 minutes? Yeah. Well, someone who would be profiling 60 minutes. Yeah. What if, what if it turned out that 60 minutes did all the things that they're accusing other people of doing? Yeah, when you accuse someone of something,

it's usually you do it. When you 60 minutes someone, there's 59 minutes pointing back at you. Sometimes I love to watch shows like that, but Mike really hates that kind of thing. What does he hate about it? Like he hates like the news and he hates like Dateline or 2020.

I like to watch like a news thing sometimes. It feels like watching TV. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. But Janie, we have that. What? Like it feels like old school days of watching TV. It's like it's on, I'm watching this thing and this is what's on and I want to see.

Now I'm curious, you know, they got the piece of my interest. I'm that way with documentaries and that Janie could always be in the mood for them, but I have to, it's like, either you got to spring it on me or I have to be in a certain mood. Like we have to just kind of fall into it, but if we're like looking for something to watch and Janie says, how about this? I always will say I'm not in the mood to watch it. I feel that way about documentaries too. If I'm in the mood, then fantastic.

But I like them. And I usually like them too. You know what I mean? But it's like, what you're doing is you're committing to watching a full investigation of a specific topic, which is very different than just watching a show. Like a fake thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I like fake things. Although my friend made a documentary. He dripped it off into our reverie. I'm gonna give a shout out to my friend Sarah Moshman, who made a documentary called Losing Side of Shore. The show isn't for shout outs. I'm just giving it. It's not called Losing Sarah Moshman?

No, it's called Losing Side of Shore, and it's about these four women who rode the Pacific Ocean. They were the first team of women to do this. They rode it like a horse? They rode, yes. R-O-W-E-D. I thought that at first too, Scott.

They rode R-O-W-E-D and it's very inspiring. That's wild. It was on Netflix but now it's somewhere else, so you have to figure out. You figure it out. She's giving you all the clues. Yeah, you've got everything you need. Who are you, the snowman? There's a website. Who are you, the snowman?

Hey, there's a snowman over here. How dare you tell me you gave me all the clues. Who are you, the snowman? Yeah. Remember when Jack Frost melted in that tub? Are you talking to a guy who was in Jack Frost over here? I beg your pardon? You were in Jack Frost?

The Michael Keaton movie? Yeah. Yes. Paul, I need a reel of every scene you've ever been in compiled into one four hour thing. Four hours, you just want them to repeat over and over again? I'm in Jack Frost for literally one second. What is it?

Doesn't it get in the tub? I don't know. I never saw it. I never saw it either. Passed my part, which is in the very, very, very beginning of the movie. I went to the premiere. What is it? Why? I don't I went to the premiere. What is it? Why?

I don't know. To support Paul. What was it? Thank you. There is the Jack Frost Blues Band is playing and everyone is loving it. And then they finish a song and they cut to the audience. I'm in the very middle of the audience and I go, yeah. And I feel like I've told you this before.

Well, of course I forget everything. That's my- It's very easy to see on YouTube feel like I've told you this before. I'm upset. Well, of course I forget everything. That's my- It's very easy to see on YouTube. But I'm gonna watch that. Okay, I have to, I'm gonna do a compilation. I'm gonna make a compilation. Okay.

I'm gonna do it on my phone. I'm gonna film my computer screen. Okay, so you got that, you got There Will Be Blood. You got Tenacious D. I got The Informant. Informant, right. Tenacious D is by far my- Biggest.

My longest cinema screen time. Yeah. Can someone who's good at editing by far my longest cinema screen time. Yeah. Can someone who's good at editing make a video of all this stuff? Yeah. With like music and make it cool. Remember Sally who did all the Tarantino films? If you can make it cool, God love ya. I'm excited about this.

Someone's gonna do it. Someone's gonna do it. You know, these people who listen to the show, they have skills. Yeah. To pay the bills. They have mad skills to pay the mad bills. Whoever makes this, hopefully they win an Oscar down the line and then they thank us.

Because like the first thing I ever edited was this Paul F. Tompkins compilation of all of his dumb movie roles that he's done. And when they die in their Oscar memoriam, it's a clip from My Real. Yeah, I like that. Which is cool and has music behind it. I like that.

But you're still alive so you can see it. Oh, fuck you. It's like Tom Sawyer being at his own funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm 99 years old. Yeah. I wonder if I'm gonna live that long. Yeah, I bet you do. I feel like there's-

And I'll be waving right there. My dad- 96 or whatever. My dad's side of the family was pretty long lived. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. So I'll say. All sides. And we're all living longer.

Both sides. I hope everyone that I know lives to be 99.5. But not a hundred. And a hundred if they're. In honor of the radio station. A hundred if they want to. 99.7, all the hits. May you all live as long as a radio station.

Yeah. What on 06.7? Oh, that's long. That's too long. You think that's too long? At what point do you want it to stop at? Janie says that all the time. She's like, I don't want to live to be that old, to be like in my 80s.

Oh, 80s is not old. I know! I would say, um, I would like to, I would like to, you know, hit the gong at a hundred. Gong! And just like Tummy Lee and Notley Crue, you just hit the gong and then you keel over. Yeah. Did you see Tom and Pammy?

Tom and Pammy! Tom and Pammy. I actually, I haven't seen the last one to two episodes. Oh my God. But I'm enjoying it. Sometimes I think, okay, God, it would be great to live forever. Tom and Tammy. It would be great to live forever at like, but your body stops aging at 21, right?

But then I just saw pictures of myself when I was 21. I'm like, I'm too young. Well, like, how about in Captain America Winter Soldier where Chris Evans stays young and then his old bitty gets old. And he... But then also the Winter Soldier himself, Bucky, played by the guy who played Tommy. Tommy. Yep. There he is.

I was very reluctant to watch that because when I heard that the penis had a voice, I was like, this is not my kind of thing. But it's our buddy. I know, but... Yeah, no, but I didn't... But it doesn't talk much. It only happens once. And I missed the first couple episodes, but then Yeah, no, but I didn't... But it doesn't talk much. It only happens once, doesn't it?

And I missed the first couple episodes, but then Janie was watching it, and so I would be in the room, and I started... I gradually started paying more and more attention to it. Sorry, but delivery is here of... Ass. Of all that ass. Back that ass up.

I feel like they only did the penis thing one time. What you gonna do with all that ass? As far as I know. And I was surprised by the tone of it and I thought they were very respectful. They were more respectful than I expected about the idea of like, these people had this very personal thing stolen from them

and that it really sucked. Such a nightmare. Scott is laughing at the truck backing up, I'm assuming. Yes. Okay. Not the idea of dignity for these two people. No, no, of course not. Where is it? Oh.

Skeepe, skeepe, skop, skop. Here, sing this, sing this song. This is like a metronome, so this will get you used to singing. Skeepe, skeepe, skeepe. I found a skeepe. Oh, I found a skee Oh, I found a ski. I found a ski.

All right, well, let's take a break. We'll be right back. With more trucks. Hey, everyone. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. On a previous episode, previously on three of them, I should say, we shared that Lauren's goal for 2025 was better fitness. And Scott that Lauren's goal for 2025 was better fitness.

And Scott and Paul's goal for 2025 was to put their brains in jars. When I say them, I mean me and Paul, I guess. So anyway, we've already set the bar for our goals pretty high. And they're not going as well as we'd hoped. A month in, my brain is still in my cranium. It's tough to find the right scientists to do it, but you know,

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Tier one compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns advisors, LLC and SEC registered investment advisor view important disclosures at acorns.com slash threedom. Oh, guys, I'm reminiscing. What's going on, Paul? What are you thinking about? We all remember the 1996 cinematic masterpiece, Jerry Maguire. Show me the money, et cetera.

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to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Freedom. We're back. We're back. We did, guys, we've done a segment of the show. We have. Wow. We waited for that goddamn truck to stop backing up.

And it did. Just for you listeners. As far as we know, it did stop backing up. Yeah, I think it did. I think it's moving forward now. Oh, and so are we. Yeah. It's getting a little hot out here.

So take off your clothes. Oh, I'm sorry. La la la la. Move your thing over. Okay. We'll wait. Back that thing up. Back that ass up, Lauren.

Keep talking. Show me what you're working with. Keep talking. And then throw them on the up, Lauren. Keep talking. Show me what you're working with. Keep talking. And then throw them on the glass, Lauren. Ew. A line is drawn. I will. When you added my name here.

I will certainly back that ass up, but throwing them on the glass? You don't use my name when you ask me to throw them on the glass. She's pushing the chair. She's pushing the chair. Oh no, you gotta pull it. You gotta pull it. She's pushing the chair. She's pushing the chair. She's pushing it. Oh no, you gotta pull it. You gotta pull it.

She's gotta pull it. You can't push that. She tried to push, but could not dush. Pull baby, pull. Oh no, she almost fell down. She almost fell down because you let go of it. No, look a little weakling. Oh.

98 pounds and can't pull a little chair. One of my favorite things is, Janie every once in a while tries to pick me up. Why? It's so funny. When Cool Up used to put like Paul Rust on her shoulders during New Year's Eve, UCB parties. Oh my God.

It's just like, come on Cool Up, don't do that. Stop this. Because she's gonna fuck her, no. You thought she was gonna fuck her back up? Yeah. She's with a stripper right now. What? Mail?

What do you mean? Oh. Wow. They're delivering him right now. What do you mean that she's with a stripper? She's at a bachelor party. I'm going to a birthday weekend, a little getaway in April.

Should I just hire a stripper for my friend as a joke, even though it's not a bachelor? Yeah. Like what kind of, is this like a remote getaway? Like. It's, what do you mean remote? Like is it a cabin type situation? It's like an Airbnb, like an hour inside of the city.

Absolutely get a stripper, yes, for sure. I feel like the cop thing is played out. It would be very funny. But maybe it could be. Owner of the Airbnb. How about like. I came back early. Yeah.

What are you people doing here? That would be so scary. That wasn't our agreement. Terrible acting. Everyone would start like panicking, calling the cops. No, I said back early. Yeah. What are you people doing here? That would be so scary. That wasn't our agreement. Terrible acting. Everyone would start panicking, calling the cops. No, I said the sure team. And then the cops or strippers too. Yeah.

There's just more and more strippers. The neighbors complaining. Hey, what's going on? Brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr br Before it's even revealed it's a stripper, like, first the owner comes in, they call the cops. Then a cop is like, oh no, we need to call the fire department. Like, and suddenly they're like... We need to call the fire department! Twenty people are there before ever revealing it's a stripper, and then they do a choreographed strip.

I would love if the cops were like, hey, these ladies are too hot. They started a fire. Like, clearly. And the fire department was like, I know it's gonna be more strippers. I know it's gonna be more strippers. I know it's going to be more strippers.

Yeah. Seems like someone here needs a doctor as well. Let's call them in. I'm having, these ladies are so hot, I'm having a heart attack. That's funny. Everyone knows there's strippers, but it takes three hours for all of them to get there. Call the coroner. This guy's dead from these ladies being too hot.

Do strippers wear masks during COVID? I don't know. That's a good question. This is the only thing I'll keep on. Probably, right? That's too good to pass that up. Cause you get to cover your face? Well, because you get to make that comment.

Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah. I wonder if people are, are, are allowed to film strippers on their phones now, now that everyone has a camera on their phone? I think they absolutely do. So yes, I'm gonna say yes. Okay.

Because I would assume if I were a stripper, and I hope to at some point, that I would say like, hey, no phones, I don't want this going out public. Okay, so you walk in and you're like, now why would you say that? Hey, hey, hey, I'm me. Because I don't want everyone, like you're paying me to be naked. Can we just act it out? You're like, you're like. You don't wanna hey, I'm me. You're paying me to be naked.

You don't want to give it away for free. Hello ladies. No phones. Don't take pictures of me. No videos either. And now here we go. Now for your main attraction. If you don't mind, could you please not record me on your video phone?

Hit it! I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. Where's the bride to be? Which one of you's getting married? Oh you? Oh my gosh, you're so pretty. Don't worry, I'm happily married too. I like to move it, move it. I like to move and move it. I like to move and move it. Ahh! Ha ha ha!

Tell you what, I'll go up and do this character for your friends. Oh, boy. That would be... You never break and you never say it's you. Just because that's Scott, no, no, no, no. And you get really shy about taking your clothes off? Like, you start to and then you stop?

But I don't think I'm... Oh, one other rule. You keep thinking of rules. Another rule. I'm not going to take my clothes off, my clothes I can't show anything below the elbow He wears long gloves from which direction I love to see a male stripper. I like to move it, move it. I forgot my boom box, so I'm just gonna sing.

I like to move it, move it. Can everybody clap? I like to move it. I like to move it, move it. Now you sort of want this to happen, right? I do, but I want to be a bachelor party of 20 young men who are gonna kick your ass. What? of 20 young men who are gonna kick your ass.

What? You just want somebody to kick my ass? I'm the stripper, you didn't specify which kind. Yeah. Stripping. It's fun, fun to do. Fun to do, I love doing it at home. I mean, I'm just taking my clothes off. Doesn't it feel like everyone we know has a stripper

pole now on Instagram? I'm like, why is this? I've had one for a while. Everyone's got one on Instagram now. She did the glasses and all that. It was like. She was ahead of her time. Production to put in too.

Yeah. Oh my God. Well, it's, I mean, you want it to be safe. You can't have it be half-assed. No. But it's, it's, no, it can't just be portable. Because you're going to put your whole ass on it. Yeah.

Yeah. You have to, you have to like hook it up to the ceiling and the floor. You got to move it, move it. Yeah. Yeah. Nicole Byer has a pole outside. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. That's good. Al Fresco. Yeah. Ha ha ha. I saw the stripper Alfresco. The name of the stripper? Stripper Alfresco.

Hello ladies, I'm Alfresco. Stripper Alfranken. I scream Al. Stripper Alfranken. Oh no. Would you hire. That's somebody's kink. Would you hire an Al Franken themed stripper?

Of course I would. If you saw it after. I mean, if it was an Al Franken themed party, yes. Is it Al Frankenstein? Man, what a burn to him if you ever called him Al Frankenstein to his face. I'd want a stripper named Al Frankenstein and it's Al Franken as Frankenstein.

Exactly, exactly. He's painted green. I like to move it, move it. And he's doing the like hands over the breasts. Each lady in the bachelorette party. And he goes, okay, take a picture. Take a picture. You're my hands over your tits.

You pretend to be asleep and I will hover my hands over your tits. sleep and I will hover my hands over your tits. He should do cameos of that. A fucking. Send me a picture of you asleep. He does like a Tik Tok where it's like behind him. That'd be a great cameo, I love that.

How much would you pay though? I'd pay a million dollars. No. That's so much money. I want him to have it. I want him to have it, I'm worried about him. He's out of work now. Yeah. I want him to have it.

I want him to have it. I want it to be good for him. Al Franken, sign my petition to let me give you a million dollars. Please. I only need one signature. So how much would I pay? It would depend on if he was doing it for everyone or whether this was like a special request

that he would only do once. Like a Wu-Tang situation. Yeah, exactly. He'll do it. A Shkreli. A Shkreli. Well, let's see. If he would do it for anyone.

Ooh, I had a Shkreli at lunch and now my stomach. If he would do it for everyone, how much would you pay? $20. No, I'd pay a hundred. Okay, and if it's only just for you, 3000. 150.

Yeah. Yeah. It's only for you and you can't post it. But I can show it to people. Yeah. On the internet. Should we do some audio cameos for people right now? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey everyone, it's the Freedom Gang. No, not everyone, you have to dress it to a simple- Hi, Amanda. Hey everyone, it's the Freedom Game. No, not everyone. You have to dress into a simple- Hi, Amanda. Hey Amanda, it's Lauren. Hey Amanda. Wait, hold on, it's just me. Oh, okay.

I thought they were- I thought we were gonna take turns. Why don't we take turns and then we'll do a group one for somebody. Hey Amanda, it's Lauren Lapkus. I just wanna say happy birthday. I know you've been having a tough year as we all have with the pandemic,

but I'm so excited for hopefully things to be opening up again where you are, and then maybe you can get out there and have a little fun. Thanks so much for being my number one fan. I'm a huge fan of you too, Amanda. Hey, Peter. It's Paul, the Bible. Listen, your friends told me that you were feeling a little down lately and you could use some cheering up because your birthday is coming up very soon. Maybe it's even today. I don't know. But they also told me that you like to do puzzles and glue them together after they're completed and that you need insulin. So I wanted to say have a great birthday. I love you with all of my heart, Paul.

Hi, Mary. Where's Peter and Paul? Oh, that was the other guy. Hi, it's Scott Aukerman from Freedom. In Comedy Bank. Awesome Power to Cold? Anyway, your friends just thought been from from freedom in comedy bang awesome awesome particle anyway your friends just thought that maybe you needed some cheering up and thought they would hire someone look I know my cameos are only five dollars so it's maybe why I got this gig but anyway it's great to meet you what are you doing later is that weird to say I would love to like hook up maybe. Oh wait, this isn't cameo. This is grinder. Okay. Well, yeah, let's meet.

Great. And then let's do one together. I would ask for a refund for that one. Really? $5? Can we have $5 back? Okay. And this one's going out too.

Let's all say the name at the same time. Demetri. Demetri. Demetri. Demetri. Hey, Demetri. It's the Freedom Game. Freedom. Them Freedom Boys, the Pretzel Gang. Oh, Demetri Wetworks. Demetri Wetworks. Demetri Wetworks. Hey, Demetri. Hey, Demetri. It's the Freedom Gang.

Freedom. Them Freedom Boys, the Pretzel Gang. He's looking for someone. You know us. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. Demetri. Demetri. Hey, we wanted to tell you that it's okay

that your mom died, everybody's mom dies eventually. Yep. And this too shall pass. The good thing is, is you didn't die before your mom. Cause that would be really hard on her. And all you need to know is that she's in a better place. Okay. Hey, keep your chin up champ.

We love you and we're freedom. Well, you know, I think we can make a bunch of money doing that. I think we just did. If you are those names people, you owe us money. You owe us big time. Demetri, Mary Amanda, and Peter. Where'd Jill come from? I don't know.

Where did Jill come from? Nobody knows. She's mysterious. Should we get on Cameo as a- It's not Adam and Jill. As an- Adam and Spill. Trio.

Should we do Cameo together? It's not Adam and Jill, it's Adam and Jill. No, we shouldn't. No, we shouldn't. No, we shouldn't. No, we shouldn't. I still, how do you get into Cameo? Because they invited me a while ago and I refused. Oh, they pound you.

Do you want to do it now? Well, I wanted to do it where I would just say whatever I wanted and you could pay for that or not. Like you pay me and I'll use- Wait, after they see it? I'll use, no. You decide? I'll use your name, but I say whatever I want.

I think that's fine. You don't have to say what is put in the message. Yeah, you just pay for a random Cameo. I'll use your name, but I say whatever I want. I think that's fine. Right. You don't have to say what is put in the message. Yeah. You just pay for a random cameo. How long would you do it for? I would do it for a minute. I would do it for a minute.

One minute? I would just make up facts and an occasion, whatever I want to say. I think people would be happy with that. I think people would like that. Okay. I got to figure out how to do that so I can make that money. I think they probably are listening with that. I think people would like that. Okay. I gotta figure out how to do that so I can make that money. I think they probably are listening

and are going to contact you. Yeah, I think it will be sorted by the end of the episode. Please. Why would they be listening to this? Because they hear it's about Cameo and they're gonna find out, they want you to join, they want you to join badly.

They do. Cameo get at me. They've begged us. Those are my terms. Yeah, I've gotten contacted in various ways. I've gotten contacted a few times. I was never begged. I won't say that.

Well, getting contacted a few times is... They begged us to tell you about it. Aww. We just brought it up naturally to convince you to... Aww. ...kind of casually say it. Yeah, so we've convinced you. Aww.

Awesome. Aww. Woo. Oh! Awesome. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What is that? I'm not just making noise.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh la la la la la la la do da do da do. This is your favorite podcast. What is wrong with you? Oh! What's wrong?

I feel like the sun is getting to us. I know. Why don't we take a break? Let's take a break. When we come back, we'll have a three-chur. This is so exciting. This is the first time we've ever teased it. Lauren's been looking up this three-chur and she

was like, Oh my God, I got a good one. Yep. So you're not going to want to miss this. This is. Oh my God, I got a good one. In a got a good one baby. Don my god I got a good one baby. Don't you know that I love you. So come on back.

Look, it's not commercial yet. We still haven't released you, but it almost is. I have a horrible signal. Here it comes commercial time and now. This message is brought to you by Coligard, a non-invasive colon cancer screening test. Did you know that colon cancer is considered the most preventable, yet least prevented cancer? When caught at early stages, colon cancer is survivable in 90% of people, so screening

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inflammatory bowel disease, and certain hereditary syndromes, or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. The coligard test is not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. Coligard test performance in adults aged 45 to 49 is estimated based on a large clinical study of patients 50 and older. False positives and false negatives can occur. Coligard is available by prescription only. Want a sneak preview of hot new audiobooks? Then check out Your Next Listen, a new podcast from Lemonada Media and Simon & Schuster Audio. We've got everything. The hottest new thrillers, bestselling celebrity memoirs, and swoony romances. And these aren't tiny clips either. They're entire chapters you can listen to. Your next listen is out November

11th, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom is back! Freedom is back! You can blame it on me! We were freedom and we just can't rub-a-doo-doo! Unfortunately, that makes me think of a mop. This is a mop? Right! The mop was sad! That commercial, a Swiffer commercial.

How fucked up is that mop that it's like, yeah, put me in water and rub me on dirt. I know. Then put me back in the dirty water. I always feel like mops aren't good for that reason. They're so medieval. But that's its purpose of life. Like we would feel sad if we weren't doing our purpose of life.

It's purpose of life. I've got a three-tier for ya. Oh hell yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What if the Lion King was mops? Mop queen? Like the whole thing was just mop. You're my mop queen.

That sounds good. Okay. Like trap queen? That sounds good. This game is called Benjamin Button Scene, submitted by Josh Bowman. You do a one to two minute long open scene, then do the same scene as Senagers,

then as kids, then as babies. Let's just do it and see how it happens. Okay, so we're old first, is that what it is? I guess, well we can either add in more ages and be old, then mid, then teen, then. I think we should be old, like very old, then adults, then teens, then kids, then kids, and then babies.

Okay. I don't know about babies. Well, let's see, let's try it. We don't know what it's gonna be like. If we don't like it, we edit it. Okay. I don't know about babies. Well, let's see. Let's try it. We don't know what it's going to be like. If we don't like it, we edit it, just like we do on all these episodes. Sure.

Okay, so here's the opening scene. People should know this is what you're hearing is the absolute best. These sessions are five hours long. The opening suggestion just to get us going is... What's the suggestion to get you going? Landfill. Landfill. Landfill? Why not?

Okay, all right. I look at you and I see a dump. How dare you. Oh, wait, we're old. How dare you. Oh, yeah. Hello, friends. Oh, uh... Did you hear what she just said to you?

What did she say to you? What did you say? I said I look at you and I see a dump. A dump. A dump? A dump? Like a dump like shit? Like a dump cake? Not your classic dump cake from when you were a baby. Alright, enough of this squabbling between us.

When I will be a baby. I have something important to talk to you about. What is it? We're being kicked out of the hospital! No! What? Where we live? Yes! What is it? We're being kicked out of the hospital. No. What? Where we live? Yes.

We're all on life support and they're kicking us out because we can't pay rent. Oh no. I didn't realize we've been paying rent. I thought we could just stay there because we're old. We're out of money, honies. We both said that the same time. We've been friends for so long. How are we supposed to make you the cash?

I don't know how we make the cash. Would you like to be something in the gig economy, perhaps? Okay. What does that mean? Would you rather be a pig? Instacard? Would you rather be a pig? Oh, you can be a pig if you care Or be a hundred pigs if you dare, but you can't be

any one name-share. Or would you rather be a millionaire? Hello, I just wanted to come in and say a donation has been made in your honor, and you're allowed to stay at the hospital and continue to be on life support. A donation in our honor for us as well? Yes. Hooray, thank you, fourth character. Yes, you're welcome.

Are you going to be getting younger or older along with us? I don't know. My name is Nurse Carol. Oh, Nurse Carol. Like a Christmas. Bama lamb. Carol like a Christmas. Well, well.

You're the sweetest young thing. Come here and give me a lamb. Carol, like a Christmas. Well, well. Isn't that beautiful? You're the sweetest young thing. Come here and give me a kiss. Aw! Whoosh! Hey. What did you just call me? When I look at you, I see a dump. How dare you.

Hey. What did? Did you hear what she just called me? No, what did you say? I said that when I look at him, I see a dump. What's going on? Look, okay, enough, all right? Enough of the squabbling between us, all right?

Like I have something to talk to you about. Who put you in charge? We're all adults here. We are all adults, but I was adult first. Okay, what's up? It's got me there. I'm a little bit younger than you because we're age-up guys.

That's right, that's right. We're being kicked out of the house we all own. What? But we own it. I know, I know. Who's kicking us out? It's being condemned. Oh, I forgot about that.

The government. But wait. And the government, because we live on the border of Mexico, obviously, they're eminent domain. Why is it being condemned? Yeah, I mean, they're, condemning usually is like there's something wrong with it. There is something wrong with it, but then they're they're condemning usually is like there's

something wrong with it. There is something wrong with it but then they're gonna tear it down and build the wall. So you know. And who's gonna pay for it? Apparently we are. We owe a lot of money. So hey I just wanted to pop in and say actually there was a donation made in your honor and the house is gonna stay in your name. Oh my god, this is great news. Thank you for this character. This is great. Yeah, my name's Carol.

Like a, like, Channing? Oh wait, is that nursing student Carol? I'm a nursing student. I hope to one day be a nurse. Whoa! I hope so too. Hey, come here and- It might take me 50 years.

Come here and give me a hug. What? The fuck? No. Oh, shit. Hey, what did you say to me? Little teenager. I said you look like a dump. What?

Yeah, you do. Hey. Did you hear what she just said to me? Oh my god, what did she say? Say it again. I said he looks like a dump, because he does. Okay, enough of this, all right? Like, I mean, can we just stop? Okay, what's your fucking problem?

You're not important to talk about. Okay, bitch. Okay, we're being kicked out of high school. No. Bitch, what? Yeah! Bitch, please. By our mean teacher.

Oh, my God. He hates us. Mr. Grand Grandimals? But how are we supposed to get our degrees? Yeah, I need to get my high school degree. I was planning on having an MFA. Hey, I just wanted to stop over here and tell you guys that Donation has been made

and your name and the teacher has been let you stay. You look lame. Thanks. You look smelly and lame. Hey, leave her alone. She's just a kid. I just want to be a nurse when I grow up. Why? What's your name? He's gonna let you stay. You look lame. Thanks. You look smelly and lame. Hey, leave her alone. She's just a kid. I just want to be a nurse when I grow up.

Why? What's your name? Why would anyone want to do that? So I can wear scrubs all day and be comfy. And smell bedpans? Yeah, I want to sniff bedpans. You do want some scrubs? I want some scrubs.

What's your name, kid? My name's Carol. Wow, we're going to know somebody like that someday. Like that Faith No More song? Yeah. We care a lot? Yeah, just like that. Oh my God, I hate that song.

Get out of here. Let's kiss. Yeah, hold my hand first. Whoosh. Hey, why did you call me that? Because you look like, when I look at you, you look like a dump. That's mean.

Hey. Hey guys. What's going on? What's he say about this? She called me a dump. That's mean. Hey. Hey, guys. What's going on? What's he say about this? She called me a name. Jay Leno? Why is there a... Hey, you're something.

I was just daywalking over here. Your car is really cool. I'm at the Bob's Big Boy, our favorite restaurant. That was Bob Hope or David Lynch. That was Jay Leno's there too. He loved it. Hey, enough, enough, enough.

Hey little baby, what's your name? I got something to talk to you guys about. What? Is it about the Tonight Show again? Yeah, I'm taking it away from Conan. Again. Okay, now it's fixed in time. And we did it. And to put it simply, we did it. That's all you can say.

What are you doing? Are you okay? Nothing. I was- You did a weird lean forward. Yeah, I know. You've always said lean back. Lean back.

I always tell women, lean out. Yeah. Lean in, girl. You're in the shot. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Yeah, that's what I was saying and I can't even count. I was gonna say what it was. Oh, come on, why does that? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, guess what? Why don't we do it as all the sex in the cities? So we start with Samantha.

I can't. Guess what? What? That cheerleader over there is giving me the eye. The eye? Giving you the eye. She's looking at me. And how old are we?

We're teenagers. But it's 1950. I'm pretending to the eye. She's looking at me. And how old are we? We're teenagers. But it's 1950. I'm pretending to be a teeter. I'm doing a 21 Jump Street situation. Ah! Only I'm not investigating drug cases. I'm trying to have sex with you. Well, do you guys wanna go to the sock hop?

I don't know if that's a 21 Jump Street. Do you guys wanna go to the sock hop? Yeah. I'm also undercover. With my hoop skirt. I can't, I have the clap. The end. We did it.

Ah! And you can't say that we didn't. What a disaster. Who would ever tell us that we didn't do that Three-Chir? La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. We love you. Thank you so much for listening to us. We are freedomusa at gmail.com. If you want to send us a threacher, we're on, we're also threedomusa on Instagram and Twitter. And Paul and I have a show coming up that you should be watching. Yeah.

Streaming or you can't come see us in theater. You should just live stream it. Yes, we did it once before. We're doing it once again. April th- when? April the 15th. I want to say April 3rd. Text day.

But that feels so soon. We're doing it once again. April th-th-th-when? April the 15th. I want to say April 3rd. Text day. But that feels so soon. But I feel like it is April 3rd. Too soon. Too soon. It is!

Now we're doing a live stream and we're going to be on stage at Dynasty Typewriter doing a two person improv show for no audience. Just a sitting audience. And we're in like three days. And we have a new. Holy shit. We better get our shit together. We have a new element to it that hopefully will work out. Oh yeah. Yes, I think that it. And we're in like three days. And we have a new. Holy shit, we better get our shit together.

We have a new element to it that hopefully will work out. Oh yeah. Yes, I think that it will and. The fifth element? Yeah. Yeah, Chris Tucker's gonna be there. Oh, do you understand the words coming out of his mouth?

And a lady dressed in bandages. So you will not wanna miss it. Be there or be square. Yeah, we did it once before, it was really fun. You can see the archived version at dynastytidewriter.com and we're gonna do it again and we're really looking forward to it. I can't wait.

So go to dynastytypewriter.com for check-its. Get us to the top of our list. Why not? Get those check-its. And guys, do your taxes on time. You gotta do them. You gotta do them. Don't get a lien put on you. Don't be like Paul getting a lien put on you.

Or they'll garnish your wages. Did they garnish your wages? Whatever happened with it? They threatened to do that and then that's when I got an accountant who figured it all out. Yeah. He figured it out.

Do do do do. He figured it out. Do do do do. With the pencil and a pad, he figured it out. A boo boo do. Only pies and spooky. They're creepy and they're spooky.

A spurious and spooky. They're all together, boogie. They add a bamboo loop. They do what they want. They say what they want. They act how they want. They are what they want. Do ba da they want. They are what they want. Who in the Addams family would you be? Oh Gomez, no question. Wednesday.

You'd be Wednesday? Yeah. Or Morticia. Oh my. There's not a lot of options. Grandmama? Yeah, I guess cousin it. I'm the neighbor who gets the noises.

Cousin it died recently. The guy who was cousin it died. No. The man behind the hair. Yeah, from the TV show. I'm sorry to hear it. I'm so sorry, Paul. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm the neighbor who gets the noises. Cousin It died recently, the guy who was Cousin It died. No. The man behind the hair. Yeah, from the TV show. I'm sorry to hear it. I'm so sorry, Paul. Felix something his name was. Paul, I'm so sorry.

Thanks, man. Thanks for sending that casserole to my house. Ba-do ba-da-da. All right, goodbye. Bye. Oh, yeah, goodbye. I mean, I'm going to say it too. Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis.

This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, everybody. That includes podcasts. Hey everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes.

In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa.gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions. Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app

and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that.

Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do the crabs do that?