Threedom - Threevisiting: The Extended She-Verse
Episode Date: December 30, 2025Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about songs for children, decorating, listen to voicemails and play This Happened To Me. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.co...m.Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Freedom!
Hey, I'm going to D'IJ.
It's three.
Oh, yeah.
That's the way we sing the song, do that's how we do it every single time.
Oh, old McDonald.
Remember him?
Have fun.
A lot of kids don't know about old McDonald these days.
You know who I've been singing about?
Who's that?
The lady who's going to be coming around the mountain when she comes.
Oh, I love her.
I was singing to Holly.
Six white horses.
I'm racking my brain for a song for her
and that one just popped her
and I said she'll be riding six white horses
when she comes and we'll all go out to greet her
when she comes and I'm like, who is she riding?
What the fuck is she doing?
Is she riding them like is she sort of lengthwise
across them six white horses?
I think her legs are spread
onto all the way over.
So she's straddling six complete horses.
She'll be straddling six white horses when she comes.
She's jumping around to all of them as she goes.
Oh, like a.
I thought she was in like a sort of cart and they're pulling it.
Yeah, she's in a carriage and they're pulling.
Yeah.
Do you think we know, we never find out her name.
No, we don't know where she's going and what she's doing.
We're joining the song late.
In media res.
Because I was thinking, am I forgetting something?
No, it just starts with she'll be riding six foot.
Yeah.
Like I guess the asking her to come has already occurred.
You're like, you're turning a corner and two people are already discussing.
this woman. Yeah. Yeah. It's exciting, actually. No, I mean, they drop you right into the middle of
the song. You're playing catch up. Stuff's already happening. You have to act like you know who they're
talking about. It's like pulp fiction with just like things out of order and you're just like,
oh my God, I'm putting this together. What about that song? Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah.
What's that one? Yeah. We never, we never find out. Is it her? Could be. From the horse.
From the song. She gave to visit Dinah. Crossover. Yeah. So the. So the.
extended diniverse i guess it includes she'll be coming around the mouth i think it's the extended
she verse oh yes good songs good songs great old really good songs these are the songs
my youth but but my to my point earlier kids today they're too busy with ticot to listen to songs
like these great wonderful songs of our youths are great here's another one i was oh i'm sorry yeah
When I was young, I used to listen to songs like A, B, C, D, F, G.
I used to listen to a twinkle, twinkle little star.
Yeah, these were real songs.
Two great distinct melodies.
Songs that taught you something and also told a story.
I used to listen to Baba Black Sheep.
I love that one melody.
I know, I know.
If it deviates, not a fan.
I was playing this like toddler playlist on Spotify.
And there was that song, The Ants Go Marching One by One.
Hurrah.
Hurrah.
Okay.
So it, it rhymes.
with the number. They do a little rhyme at the end with each new number. So the ants go marching one by one. The little ones, like the ants go marching one by one. The little one stopped to have some fun. And they all go marching down to the ground. Get out. Of the rain. Okay. Then it went to the ants go marching seven by seven. Hurrah. Hurrah. The ants go marching seven by seven. The little one stopped to pray to heaven. And they all went. I went, what did he stop to do? I thought. Pray. Well, I guess.
it's better than him dying and going to heaven.
Which is where I thought it was headed.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
The little one died and went to.
The little one's got a lot on his plate.
I just was like he's praying.
He's closing a door.
He's doing all of these things that are rhyming with numbers.
Do you think of this is the same little one that asks everybody to roll over?
It's part of the extended little one verse.
Yeah.
For sure.
It's a good song, by the way.
I need to write that one down.
What is that one?
You need to write it down.
Roll.
Roll over. Roll over.
They were all in the bed and little one said, roll over, roll over.
And they all rolled over and one fell out and two in the head.
And the little one said, roll over, roll over.
You're going to know all of these.
I don't think I know that song.
And I don't think I'll ever sing it.
You are going to sing it in about six months.
You're going to sing it.
No, never.
You're going to sing that song.
You're going to sing it in six months.
Emmy's going to be so happy.
And it's going to be a number one hit.
Yeah.
You're going to sing it publicly.
You're going to go to a studio, you're going to stay down, roll over, orchestral track.
That would be so lame.
I would love it.
What?
I just put out one single in my career.
And it's a reboot.
And it's an orchestral version.
Roll over.
Reboot.
I call it reboots.
Yeah.
Did you know a scop, you probably know this.
Maybe you know this too, Lauren.
Back in the old Tin Pan Alley days.
I'm out.
Somebody would put.
And for this reason, I'm out.
They would, somebody would write a song and then every popular singer would do a cover of it,
they'd do their own version of it.
And then like one person's cover would be the most popular one.
But there would be multiple versions of the same song out at the same time.
Yeah.
So, okay, I didn't really realize this, but I've noticed that when I'm searching for an oldie,
that there are like many renditions.
But I never really put it together or thought about it.
that was like a sort of intentional thing to see which one would pop.
It's just like up for grams.
I think it also went into the 60s too where like Bob Dylan,
a lot of his songs were written for other people to sing them.
And they became hits for other people,
even though he sang them himself on albums,
you know, like eight miles high and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he sang eight miles high?
Well, did he, didn't he?
No, no, sorry.
Roger McGuin wrote that.
In fact, I saw Roger McGuin three nights in a row, and every single night he went,
This is a song about a horse.
What?
What?
No, actually, the song about a horse was a different song.
The eight miles high intro was,
This is about a plane ride I took.
The plane only went up eight miles.
I just loved his stage battle.
It was always the same, and it was always one sentence.
He always delivered it with that same urgency.
Yeah, this is a song about a horse.
This is a song about a plane ride I took.
It's like, I don't need any context.
You know, I can enjoy eight miles high without knowing it's about a plane ride.
Like Kelly Clarkson, when she sings her famous song, she goes, this is a song about some eyes.
Since you've been gone, is about some eyes.
Behind those hazel eyes.
Oh, that's her famous song.
Here, this is a song.
song about someone who's been gone.
This is a song about you.
That's how I had to choose.
And what you did.
What I did.
This is a song where I'm catching you up.
This is when Gautier sings.
He goes, this is a song about somebody I used to know.
I also like when stage patter is like longer and then it leads to the big hit single thing.
So like in the Gaudier example, it would.
be like him telling a long, really boring story about, you know, oh, I was in
Marrakesh.
Why is it to be boring?
Why is that boring?
That actually already started really interestingly.
He's in America.
Really?
What if he said?
Well, if he was in Montana, I might be a little less excited.
What if he says, all right.
We have fans in Montana, Lauren.
I'm going to tell you the story behind the song, but I'm going to keep a kind of boring.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is on the show works.
We're having a funny conversation.
I said, but it's, it really, that really did feel like I was a ghost.
I've had that. I've had that happen already in the first nine minutes of this. No, I've had that happen already. Yeah.
By the way, Paul, the lighting on you, we're on Zoom today. Well, let's not even. Let's be real. My nose is running like a faucet, my friends.
And not a faucet that's been turned off. No, a faucet that's been turned on.
Exactly. Yeah. But Paul, the lighting on you, you do look like a ghost. You look very pale and wan.
I mean, the outdoor light, I'm sitting right by the window.
Yeah, and I feel like I'm getting a lot of nice natural light in here.
You are, but for some reason, on my computer screen, it looks, you look white.
Oh, you have to wipe the jizz off the screen.
Oh, oh, here, here we go.
For once.
But, okay, here's my point.
Please.
What if Gautier, he introduces the song, because he wants to keep the song interesting.
Yeah.
He warns everyone, hey, I'm going to tell you.
the story behind the song, but I'm going to actually keep it kind of dull so that it doesn't
render the song superfluous.
Yeah.
Right.
So you will get some behind the scenes info, but it's all going to be boring shit like about
the weather, what I, what I have for breakfast.
Paul, what would you rather, would you rather hear a story or hear a song?
I mean, it depends on the storyteller.
It depends on the singer.
But, okay, so the world's greatest storyteller versus the world's greatest singer.
So, J.K. Rowling.
What's her alias?
What's her A.K.A. name?
Oh.
Robert Goldblades or something?
I don't know.
What did she write under that alias?
Wait, she has like another alias?
Isn't J.K. Rowling not her name, I would assume?
I don't know.
Just kidding.
Rowling is her name?
She wrote a bunch of mystery novels or something under a male alias.
Well, that's probably where she learned.
And don't worry, they're all about, they have trans stuff in them.
I would say, I would say, were those books successful, is the question.
I think she put them out under the alias because she just wanted to, she didn't want a bunch of J.K.
Rowling fans to buy it expecting, you know, wizard shit and wants and stuff like that.
But then I think her alias got revealed before it ever even came out.
So it happened anyway or something.
well you know like why aren't their wizards and wands in here yeah you have you do one thing and you do it well
one one and that's five wizards yep that's a good show and they fight over it now that's that's a book
now that's that's a book is it like hungry hungry hippo style yes yes yes there's a one in the
middle and someone gets eliminated yeah oh my god i don't have a hungry hungry hippos um it's not really a
story um wait is it a song though it goes like this it is i mean there was a song
hip olds um no so i just saw on like uh my friend's page she posted like an old post from like years
ago where she and her friends did humans doing hungry hungry hippos did i just tell you about this
or i was telling mike no i've never heard about this so they it's a really funny video it's like
all the people are okay so each person is it has a
partner and so like they're down like a wheelbarrow but they're on they're holding on to like a
like a little board on wheels like you know those little things with handles scooters or whatever
sure and then they have their hands on that and their legs are being held up into the air
and they're being pushed into the center of the circle where there are balls and they have to try
to grab them and bring them to their side using their mouths or just using their hands oh that yeah
that's not hungry hungry hippos uh that's the hungry hungry hippos there it's hard to say
for me make them marbles and then make them catch them with their teeth yeah yeah and I'm into
and choke on them yeah and choke on them and choke on their pride make them bite down the marbles
and choke on that gives me a bad feeling when okay so are they on like hand trucks like how do they
because otherwise I believe that was mentioned in the story the scooters that I'm trying to describe
We used to use them in gym class in elementary school
And I don't know if there's a thing that you used to use like that
Where it's basically a plastic board with handles on the side
And four wheels on the bottom
Like the bottom of a hamper or something
It's like and you're just
You are laying your chest onto the plastic
And holding onto the sides
And then you're being pushed into the center
And then you're like the thing of like a mechanic uses
Yeah
But not exactly
It's like a half of size
It's a square
Is it a skateboard?
with a handle? No, it's a square. It's square. So equidistant on each side. Exactly the same on all four
sides. And anyone can measure it and it's going to be proven true. I've definitely told this story
that when I was in fifth grade, we used to play with those on like free day and gym class. And I was
racing my friend around the gym. I was basically running with my legs, but then using the scooter
It's like you're in a sort of pike position and I flew straight into the wall.
My glasses went into my forehead and had blood dripping down and it was a terrifying ordeal.
One of your many head injuries as a child.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
So many.
I, of course, used to do handcart races when I worked in a warehouse of a payroll company.
Doodah, doodah.
Yeah.
I love those things.
What is that?
The pallet jack.
This is so much fun to ride the pallet jack.
Yeah.
Ride the pallet jack.
Tell me all about what that is.
Well, it's my series of books that I write under a pseudonym.
I'm a lady.
Your name is Palette Jack.
I mean Jacqueline pallet.
Did you work in a warehouse, Paul?
For a brief time, yes.
Yeah, me too.
For brief time.
People must have been so happy to have you around the warehouse being funny.
Oh, boy, did they?
They were like, here he comes, the clown.
Sometimes I would have to deliver the mail to people and I, or packages or something that we would get in the warehouse and I'd have to go up up to the other floors and like deliver them.
And I was always like, hey, I'm not just a warehouse guy.
Yeah.
You know, like I'm a regular person just like you office people.
I'm so much more than this.
I can do whatever you can do.
I bet.
that was when i was it involves thinking and using a computer because i only want to do musicals
that's what you that sounds like you that's when i was a temp and i would just get put into
weird random jobs but to be a temp you have to take like a typing test and i remember i got
it was all computerized and i got i got off at one point i can't remember why you're supposed to
like type out a piece of paper that they give you and they time you. And I got it off. And so like
everything was gibberish when I turned it in. And the person taking the test because I got one thing
off and I'm pretending to type. I got one thing off. Oh, you can't see what it's typing. Yes. You can't
see what you're typing. So it messed up everything. So the entire thing was gibberish. And I said, oh, I mean,
I think I got one thing wrong and it did all that. And she goes, yeah, you're probably fine.
And she just gave me like, like a ask where they care.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think is a key detail.
Yeah, exactly.
Key detail.
It's a key detail.
But also, like, what's the worst that's going to happen is the company that
hires the temp for a day or two is going to call them and say, you sent us a bad temp.
And they'll be like, oh, no, we're so sorry.
Sorry that 18 year old in the pool of other 18 year olds wasn't quite up to snuff for you.
But see, I always felt like, and I had a lot of friends who temped, I always felt like,
like that was more stressful in a weird way than, I mean, many jobs stressed me out.
But the idea of tempting was stressful because it's like you go in and you don't know anything
and you have to do things and act like you know stuff.
That seems really hard.
There's no pressure on you because no one cares what you do.
So they don't give you any assignments?
No, no.
You, I mean, I worked at the payroll company for like a summer.
And by the end of it, everyone, you know, I knew my duties and all that kind of stuff.
But who gives it like no one.
No one cares.
No one cares about their.
people's lives with my incompetence
people didn't get their checks
people didn't get operations
I typed gobbledygook for names
banks
refused to cash checks
did you
tell Paul? No
never
why not
why not
I was a retail guy that was always
my job
you'd be so good at retail because you're just
personable and you want to you want people to feel good you know a while yeah it's true yeah and then now
you're not oh it it depends on how long you let how there's a cutoff for how long you can work one of those
jobs yeah and retain like a pleasant personality is it because the you get tired of what you're
selling or you get tired of the experience um everything you get tired of living your life and being who you
Hey, there's an easy solution for that.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
I know it's painless and it brings on many changes.
You, Laura, do you ever a temporary?
No, no, but I was temporary at every place I worked.
Yeah.
Because I quit.
Other than movie star.
Well, I did.
I, of course, worked on the boat dock, and I worked at a coffee shop for about a couple days.
I basically spent more time training than I did working there.
And I was really scared because I don't drink coffee.
And there was in New York and everyone's like,
Mokudukukukuk fika blalapte or whatever.
And I'm like, yeah, you got it.
And then I would just be like, and then panic and take forever and stressed out.
And of course, one time I dropped a bagel and it was the last one of that kind.
Blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, that was really stressful.
Like it went extinct?
Yeah.
It was a super dino bagel.
And it was the last one.
I know it had Dino DNA.
It connected back.
Like if you had cracked it open,
it was basically an amber like, you know,
a thing with a bug inside.
But it was a real cool.
Amber.
Sorry, I'm doing Boston Rob from Survivor.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
So.
Amber.
I haven't seen Survivor.
But I've been told I would like it.
At this point, I don't know what you're waiting on.
I just don't care
22 years later
There's no time
It's never too late
Right?
No nothing
It's never too late
To learn a new skill
Yeah
Just I want to just say one thing
Which is that
Okay say one thing
And then we have to take a break
Make sure it's good
Make it good
Well it might lead to another conversation
Okay but we'll do it on the other side
Okay
So the other day
I went to a paint store
Coincidentally
This is the paint store
where in the alley behind
a Beastie Boys video was shot.
I just learned on Doe Boys from Art and Marine
talking about it. It's Jill's paint and Atwater.
There was a Beastie Boys video shop.
And they have the been mural.
Yeah.
And it's a very nice paint shop.
It's just like a kind of a hardware store.
And I...
How interesting, Rain Man.
I just mean it's not like fancy, but okay.
Very good big store.
Did I just say it multiple times?
No, you're just like, it's a very interesting paint store.
I hate myself.
No.
No, I'm fine, I'm fine, but.
I just loves you.
I actually love my stuff.
And you could instantly tell how many there were.
Well, they dropped paint chips and then I ate them.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Because I thought there were chips.
Yeah.
But anyhow, I had learned on a blog of an interior designer that I like called Emily Henderson.
I'm not British, but that is her name.
She posted years ago on her blog.
about this idea. And I don't know if she invented it, but from the blog, I remember thinking that
she did to, if you're going to paint a room, you get like poster board and you paint
pieces of board, the different colors. And then you can hold them up in the different light,
you know, sunlight over here, a little dark, you know, whatever.
Sunlight over here. Southern over here. And I thought it was such a great idea. So then I was
going to do that when I'm going to paint a room in my house, which I'm doing now. And I went to
this paint store. And now they sell foam boards, cut
two little squares and they have a little label
on the back that says, what kind of paint is this?
Where did I put it? What was the date? And I thought
that was really cute, but I also wondered if they stole that from her.
And then I also just wanted to say, it's great
because if you are someone who's interested in this kind of stuff,
you can save all the colors that you've painted. And then later
you might want to do a different room and go, oh, this would actually
be good in here. And I don't have to buy the paint sample
again. Just wanted to share that little hot tip.
It's a good tip for our listeners.
You know, you don't care about that stuff.
I used to paint my own place a lot
And so that would have come in handy
I'm not going to paint it myself
Because I various reasons
One being I can't move the bed
I need to hire someone to do it
Hire me
You can't move the bed
Yeah I can't
Scott have you seen this bed
Sweetie
I can move I guarantee you
I guarantee you I can move any bed on earth
Oh baby
So you're gonna come over and move the bed
How much do you want to bed
that I can't move the bed.
$1,000.
Yeah.
Okay, so if I come over and move the bed, I win $1,000.
But if I can't move the bed, what do I get?
You have to move it fully away from the wall into the center of the room.
In 10 minutes.
Yeah.
Why is there a time limit?
Because you can't take all day.
I don't want to hear you huffing and puffing in there for hours.
Good catch.
All right, we have to take a break.
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Uh-oh, the fashion police are here.
Can you hear those sirens?
Yeah, I can.
Boy, they're here to lock me up for what I'm wearing.
I can get you out of this situation.
On bail?
Even better.
I won't have to go to fashion jail in the first place.
Full exoneration.
Oh, a pardon?
If you listen to me.
Fashion pardon?
You'll get a fashion pardon.
Okay, I'm listening.
It starts like this.
Cold mornings, holiday plans.
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That's why I'm all about, for you, quince.
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Do you mean like five-fourths where it costs more?
No, no, no, the good one.
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Okay.
It's everything you actually want to wear built to hold up season after season,
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I got some stuff from Quince, Paul.
You're going to be very proud of me.
I got the Mongolian Kashmir Kru neck sweater.
Nice.
I'm a big fan of that.
It's great for when you want to feel cozy, but still look, you know, at your best.
I wear it all the time.
And honestly, I would wear it even more if my wife weren't borrowing it all the time.
Girl, I hear you.
My wife keeps stealing my quince items.
I have a wonderful soft cashmere hoodie that I got from them.
Oh.
And she has claimed it as her own, which is honestly very aggravating.
My wife has also been going into our bank accounts and stealing money from my own bank account that I have,
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And I'm really concerned about that.
My wife is literally taking food out of my mouth.
Oh, no.
Like, I put a forkful of food on my mouth and she's taking it out of it.
That's the right amount as far as I'm concerned.
A forkful.
That's how I eat food by the forkful.
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And we're back.
Yeah, I know.
We're talking about paint.
Well, we were talking about a weakling you are.
Yeah, that's what we were really talking about.
That was the subtext.
Hey.
You're going to take all day to move a bed.
He's going to just...
All I wanted was 23 hours.
not all day.
Okay, okay.
You're going to stay up for 23 hours, moving a bed, inch, fine.
And I know your place is haunted, and if I stay the entire night, I win $10,000.
That's true.
Yeah.
Remember when it used to be a million dollars if you stayed overnight in a hundred house?
Inflation, man.
It's gone down to $10,000.
It's only $10,000.
Yeah.
This is what I want to say to boomers.
Like, when you were young, it was Johnny Cash.
A million dollars.
Yeah.
Bob Hope.
Do you, do you, when you, but I just want to touch back on the paint topic for a second.
Yeah.
When you are in your home, do you think at all, I know Paul does, do you think it all about decorating or you just go, someone else's got that covered?
Like, do you go, I wish this was like this.
I wish this thing was like this.
I, in the first place that I bought, my condo, I decorated it myself and I, I, you know,
I was watching trading spaces a lot.
This is in the turn at the turn of the century.
So your room was like covered in seashells glued to the wall.
Yes. And straw.
No, but I think they, because it's on camera,
I think they would like use these bright colors and stuff like that.
So I got tricked into that thinking like, oh, okay, I'll do, I'll do like,
I'll paint one wall red.
And I painted a lot of it, this pale yellow.
And it just was.
was bad and it sounds horrible it sounds like a disgusting combo it was it was and then some brown
as well it was terrible and so and so now now i and also i and also the place is a prank show
yeah it kind of is because like truly people would be so upset when they would go back in their
house because it would be horrible it was so cheap first prank show would they prank the home
viewer yeah yeah and the home fucking with us they were pranking homes this guy there was one
designer who would always put like little like humpty dumpties around the room.
It was like just really weird or like very farm themed.
That's very specific.
To be fair, I mean, I don't know that it was humpty.
He was an actual egg.
He was an egg and it was kind of his fetish, I guess.
And no one mentioned it ever.
There was a big egg man who wore pants.
Yeah.
Well, he's very fragile.
But so, so finally when I moved to a different place, we just keep everything white, basically, or off white.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just so much better and so much calmer and yeah, way better.
I like colors.
You like, well, I mean, you have, it depends on the space too.
You have the where you are right now.
Yeah, well, my, I'll just say your address if that's okay.
But your podcast space has great wallpaper and I think if it's like a smaller room that's used for a special purpose or like a powder or something like that, you can have great wallpaper, you know?
Yeah, if you're powder.
I've done some wallpaper.
Yeah.
Or if you're the director of powder?
Powder.
Or if you're Daniel Powder?
Yeah.
Or Susan Powder?
Do you think Powder ever saying you had a bad day?
Maybe.
When he's like getting hit by lighting, he's like,
The character of powder?
Yeah, you had a bad day.
I had a bad day.
Do you think that song was inspired by Powder?
Probably because the singer's name is that.
So yeah, that makes sense.
The song would be inspired by a character named something similar to his life.
Everybody was calling him.
and it made him have a bad day.
Yes.
Yeah.
And that's the story of the song.
He's like, no, I have hair.
I have, I have tan skin.
Yeah.
We have no idea what he looks like, by the way.
Oh, I know exactly what he looks like.
You do.
Exactly.
You could draw him.
No.
You could draw him inch for inch.
Show me five pictures of different people in one of them is Daniel Powder.
And I'll tell you which one is Daniel Bout.
I really wish I could get a lineup going really fast without you seeing.
Just pick five red.
You can just pick five random.
Random pictures.
No, four random ones and one.
You do that.
And then we'll see if we can't, this would be a great three-church.
See if Lauren and I can identify you Daniel Powder.
Honestly, I'm looking at him now.
I wish I could send you a game.
Well, what if I look at five other people?
Yeah, that'll be fun too.
I typed in.
The reverse line.
What if I run around all the bases now?
Because I'll see what I do it's back.
Wait, wait, wait.
Scott, you said he's tan and he is really tan.
and then I typed in tan men
and that's like a name of a Japanese dish
and that's all it's about
I'm like there's not
they don't have one picture of a tan man
and it's so tan men is just
oh oh oh it's in another
okay got it tan man it's a ramen soup
but yeah okay but I'm going
I want to see a tan man
and I want to see multiple
I want to see a tan man
and you want to see them together
or separately
yeah
I want to see a tan man eating tan men.
I want to see tan men eating tan men.
I want to see five tan men eating tan men, listening to Daniel Powder while watching powder.
Yes.
So they're playing the song over the movie.
Is this a t-shirt?
Yeah, that's a t-shirt, but it has to have that sort of screen where, remember like in the 90s when like t-shirts had like a sort of 3-D?
There was a period of time where it was trendy to have like a little 3-D image on your t-shirt.
I mean, I was a child, so I had this.
and it was like if you turn one way
it kind of looked like something else
what the fuck are you talking about
it was like a little piece of plastic
kind of yeah kind of attached to your shirt
it wasn't a hologram it was like scritchy scratchy
like lines on it was lenticular
okay and then you have
it'd be like a cat it'd be like
when you first look at it it's like a nice kitty
and then when you go sideways
the cat seems very angry
yeah yeah yeah I know exactly what you're
or the reverse could happen to you
I guess, where you're like, that's an angry cat.
And then you're like, oh, wait a minute.
No, it's a nice cat.
Oh, thank God.
Fuck.
That's wild.
It's pretty crazy, man, what T-shirts can do these days?
I remember when there were picture books when I was little that had, they would sometimes
it would just be the cover, but sometimes it would be the whole book where it would be all the sort of lenticular, but it didn't, the image didn't change.
it was it had depth you know what you mean it looked kind of 3d and you it was very satisfying
scratching uh feeling and sound that you can make on it yeah but i remember being fascinated by
them because they were beautiful they were really beautiful to look at here's i have a question
about children's books that lauren maybe can answer and paul feel free to wait i mean i was a child
but when you were a child you thought like a child i thought and acted like a child and when i became a
man i brought my child's yeah that's yeah that's yeah
Um, okay, so I, I've been reading, I've been reading, uh, these children's books that we have to my daughter.
So weird.
Um, okay, so when I was a kid and I read, I read children's books to myself, I don't remember all of them trying to make the adult cry.
Oh my God, they're so, these books are the fucking tenderest books.
What the fuck is going on?
Like, I just...
Corderoy?
I haven't read Corderoy.
It's so sweet.
When I...
And it's funny.
Well, you know what?
She's also at the age where like, when Holly was her age and I would open Corderoy and I'm like too many words, not going to bother.
Like, but now Holly like wants to sit for a longer story.
So I'm like, I'll read these longer stories.
And that one's not super long, but it's just got, you know, some of the pages are a little more involved.
And I'm like, this book is so sweet.
It's just about this sweet little bear and this girl goes and buys him and then they're friends.
It's just nice.
Well, the ones that I've been reading are all about, like, me, the read, because I read them out loud, by the way.
I don't just read them silently.
And she's just, like, hoping to take something away from the experience.
But when I read them to her, it's all about, like, me, the reader and how I feel about her and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
They're all designed to be like, I think you're so special and you're a miracle and all this kind of stuff.
It's like, hey, ease up.
I just want to read a story about a bear or something.
Forever my baby, my baby, you'll be.
Oh, I'm afraid of that one where it's like,
then like the adult person at the, like,
it's all about a baby and then the baby's taking care of the parent at the end
and they're like holding them like a baby.
And I'm like, this is fucking weird.
It's like, I want to be in charge here.
I don't want to show weakness to my baby.
Yeah, you don't, you definitely don't want to show weakness.
I don't want to be a cook.
Do you have that book on the night you were born?
I think so.
It's like polar bears dancing on the cover and it's like,
and the night you were born, there was never anyone in the whole world
ever like you and you're the most special person in the world.
And the wind whisperson.
your name and then let's whisper it together.
And now Holly whispers her name on that page.
It's so really cute.
And she says it before I get to it.
She's like,
book authors stop doing this.
Like, just write a book about a pirate or something, you know?
It's like, I think, you know, you can get books like that for sure.
Talking about pirates, like kids don't need to have pirates explained to them.
They just seem to be on board right away.
You know what I mean?
But everybody's so worried about if two men are kissing.
and you have to explain it to your baby
to your child.
I know.
I never thought about that.
There's so many things like that.
Yeah.
All the concepts that kids grasp without,
they don't give a shit.
They don't care.
But here's my question because I was reading some books about animals.
And the only animals.
Which ones?
Well, what do we got?
We got horses.
That's your question.
What are they?
No, no.
The only animals she's seen are two dogs.
Two very specific dogs.
Like in person, right.
Yes, in person.
So when I'm reading these books, I'm like, oh, the cat goes meow, right?
Sure.
I'm like, she doesn't know what a fucking cat is.
I know, but she's going to start to learn all that.
It's actually kind of weird.
I thought the same thing.
I also feel like that's what the picture is for.
Well, but that's what I find really fascinating is that, and I think I've mentioned this,
but, like, Holly, I was very shocked when, like, she was noticing all types of dogs as being
dogs.
And all cartoons of dogs as being dogs.
And, like, she knows, in any form.
She knows that dogs have, like, this type of nose and four legs.
If they're tiny, if they're huge, like, she knows what they are when we're out.
It's just that's, that's amazing to me.
But cats and she never pointed to anything else and said it was a dog.
Not once.
Not a chair.
Not one.
Not once.
Okay.
She's never once called something other than its name.
she's never once done that she always calls things exactly what they are exactly what it is yeah
but a cat and a dog are so similar like really what are the differences when you really break
it down um names yeah like they're they're the exact same thing no this is bold i don't think
they're really like if you looked if if you saw a cat and a dog could you tell which was which
I wouldn't want to because I wouldn't want to be rude.
But wait.
Stephanie, with wild horses, she was like talking about when she was reading these books with her kids when they were really little.
She like didn't know the difference between a goat and a sheep.
And it made me laugh so much.
And then she took them like a petting zoo and she was like, I don't know what each one is.
But now they're supposed to know what everything is.
It's just like.
Some are very hard.
like a mongoose or something, I don't know that if I saw something, if I saw a mongoose,
would I be able to say, that's a mongoose?
Ricky tiki-tiky-tabby, my dear boy.
Sure, I would say it's a rickie tavy, but would I say it's a mongus?
I don't know.
Yeah, you would.
Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would.
The fun is going to the zoo and all the animals can be really weird.
Like when, watching Holly look at a, I don't, I never know how to say it, but like a tape ear,
T-A-P-I-R.
Tapir, yeah.
I'm like, that's a really weird animal.
And she was kind of weirded out.
She was like,
ugh,
like,
it's like so strange.
And like,
I don't really know what it is.
Well,
we have these cards.
They're like flashcards
with animals that Emerald
likes to look at
because they're black and white
and very striking.
And there's,
you know,
there's good ones.
There's skunk.
There's penguin.
She really likes penguin.
Perfect for black and white too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then sudden,
and it's like penguin,
skunk,
orca,
stuff like that.
And then suddenly there's ring-tailed lemur.
Oh.
They make some fucking leaps with this stuff.
I feel the same way.
Oh, I'm going.
Yeah, it looks good.
I'm just like, why are we jumping?
Now she has to know what a ring tailed lemur is, yeah.
Why don't we just say lemma?
Why don't we just go, like, let's just kind of narrow it.
Like, let's just broaden it a little bit because sometimes it gets very specific.
Like, even monkey gorilla, I start to go, now I got all these types of monkeys and apes.
Here's like.
Here's my theory.
Okay, so I learned all the animals from my A to Z book where it was like...
A to Z for our UK listeners.
And this was like last year, you focused on that and you were like...
It was during the pandemic, yeah.
Yeah.
But where it's like, you know, A is for artwork and all that kind of stuff.
True.
There should only be 24 animals and they should all be a different letter.
So you can just memorize that book.
Do you know there are 26 letters in the alphabet?
What?
Wait, wasn't the show 24 about the alphabet?
were you accounting for X and Z and saying cut those out we don't need
yeah we don't we don't need zebra is an animal zebra is no zebra is key you're right too
good to waste too good to waste yeah but we need to get rid of X X is a really tricky
word with learning a letter with learning words like why do we need X we have a CK we need we
should make up a bunch of Louis CK we should make up a bunch of Louis CK we should make up a
His name should be Louis X.
That start with X and then just kind of like get those into the culture so that we can
just start having fun things on the page.
Like a xylophone is not worthwhile.
We have xylophone and we have xenophobes.
And we have X-ray and we have X-ray.
Yeah.
It's not enough.
It's not enough.
We need more.
And that's what we're saying.
We want all of our listeners out there to create new words.
But it should be like, it should be like xenophob as like, that's what X stands for.
a xenophob.
That's what they need to know.
Yeah, because this is the kind of stuff we want them to get.
They don't want to get everyone should be a phobia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All phobies.
Well, wait, okay.
So on the animals, what, who, who are the picks for each letter?
Like, A, you've got to go Ardvark because of the double A, right?
Because of the double A, it's so good.
And by the way, who's calling an Ardwerk, Ardvark saying like, oh, I'm going to put a
double A at the beginning of this?
Like, what, what lunatic named that?
They were just having fun.
I think they're a fun that day.
Yeah, that's true.
But what about Anteater?
I think Anteater is a more fun animal than an Ardvarg.
Fun in the sense of like genocide for ants?
Because of the way that it looks like a vacuum.
It does look like a vacuum.
It's probably the animal that looks most like a vacuum out of any.
I don't know, elephant though.
Do you know that for the longest time I thought Ardvark and Anteater were the same thing?
And I think there's a lot of confusion around that.
That's why there's a lot.
it only be one and we eliminate whatever we make them extinct whatever the other one is do you know
why i thought that because of the cartoon the ardvark i was just going to oh i think you're going to say about
arthur the ardvark no i don't know that guy all right well he's a great guy is he the guy from the
famous hand yeah the in the fist oh yes exactly yeah now okay have you seen the pride and prejudice
with um tom wams gans from succession oh my god i saw that a million
years ago, but when I put together that it was him and that, I wanted to watch that again
because I love him.
I saw for the first time a couple years ago, and it was really enjoyable.
So I recommend that rewatch.
But I know that there's a thing that he does with his hand that I remembered that a lot of
people that are fans of that movie remember that and they think it's very romantic.
And I forgot to look for it when I watched the movie, and I still don't know what it was,
but it was apparently a very notable thing that he does.
Oh, I don't remember that.
But I always picture the Arthur Hand when I.
He does it with her hand, or he does it with his own hand?
He does something with his own hand that is apparently very magical.
Magical.
It's not him just touching her.
Something romantic.
Finger banging.
Oh, my God.
Paul was like, this isn't it?
This isn't it?
Something else.
It might be finger banging.
I mean, there was a finger banging scene in the movie.
Yeah.
And I guess I didn't put a 10 minutes long.
It's all about how they won't go all the way, but they'll do everything.
Yes.
So there's an anal sex scene.
All right, we have to take a break.
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Oh, okay.
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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Well, it's here, folks, the holidays.
That's right, a time of tradition, but also a time of stress and chaos.
Oh, boy, I look back at the whirlwind of a year before diving into another one.
You know, one of the things that helps me through knowing that all of this is coming up is just talking to someone about it all.
In fact, I have my own tradition of reflecting on the past year with calm, clarity, and compassion.
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All right, we're back.
And we have some voicemails, right?
Yeah.
People call us.
We're cool.
Yeah, our phones are always,
right?
Off the hook.
If you would like to leave us a voicemail,
you can just dial
Hague claims 8,
the number 8.
Just dial that.
Don't dial anything else.
No, a wild
hag running around, killing
eight people.
Nice. Can you imagine eight people dying
at the same time? That would be crazy.
But at the hand of a hag?
Yeah.
Yeah. I shot her to think.
It'd be crazy. Anyway, we're going to play these voicemails that some people left us.
Our producer,
Matt, our producer,
is going to play them. Hit it, Matt.
Hello, everyone. I love the show.
I have a question for everybody.
I actually took Paul's recommendation to read the Alan Carr book on how to stop smoking,
and I have quit vaping for like a month now.
So it's a really great recommendation.
Thank you so much, Paul.
And my question is, for Scott and Lauren, did they have a book that really changed their life like this one has for me?
And I assume for Paul.
And Paul, did you have another book that was really effective in your life?
Love the show. I love you guys.
That was such a sweet message.
First of all, congrats on that.
Absolutely, congrats.
Congrats on leaving that message.
Her voice reminded me of this number that we used to call in Chicago when I was in college.
There was this number and it was this, I don't know who did this.
Maybe someone out there knows about this.
It was the cafeteria lady, the lunch lady.
You call her and she had a really sweet accent like that and really sweet voice and she would say,
hey baby, the lunch tomorrow is going to.
be mashed potatoes. We got green beans. We have a really nice piece of chicken. And you are just
going to love it. I love you so much. I hope we have a great day. And then you just hang up and that was
it. It was just made a different lunch every day. It was for your school or? No, it was funny. I don't
know. It was just like for it was just random. Every day she changed it. Wow. I know. Isn't that
funny? I kind of love it. I wonder if anyone out there knows what I'm talking about. It's like
movie phone for lunch. Yeah. It was really.
fun but you can get at lunch do you have a book Scott uh I remember reading a book about
this is in my early 20s I don't I don't know the title but I remember it was about
relationships and it was about I remember it being about how like there are different types of
people in the world shit what was it about I just remember the just so it changed your life
The just of it is like a successful relationship is usually with two people who have a lot of stuff going on, interesting in their own lives.
And then they meet up at the end of the day and they check in with each other about their own lives and they hear about each other's own lives.
And a less successful...
Like not being codependent.
Yes, I think it was about codependence.
And it was a less successful relationship is two people who are constantly wondering what the other person is doing.
and or like sitting around the house letting the other person shine and while they don't do
anything or whatever. And so I remember that being kind of like, yes, that's the type of relationship
I want is with someone who has their own thing going on and is not just sitting around waiting
for me to do stuff, you know. Yeah. I'm trying to think if I, you know, I think I had different
moments with books where I was like, like read like Eckhart Tolley or whatever. Then I was like,
yes. And then I stopped, you know, thinking about any of that. So I don't know that there was like
a book that really stuck with me forever that changed something for me in that way, other than
just being books I enjoyed reading. But maybe one day I'll have that book.
The only other book I can think of that kind of had a big impact on my life was a story. It was the
greatest story ever told. Yeah, it was about a carpenter, wasn't it? Yeah, it was about a carpenter
from a place called Nazareth.
I do remember a friend of mine giving me
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.
I read that.
Which was supposed to be some kind of,
you were supposed to get something out of that book?
Mind blowing, yeah.
I remember liking it,
but I remember going into it going like,
oh, is this about how to fix a motorcycle
and then realizing it was a narrative,
like a little ways in?
And then kind of reading it and going like,
yeah, that was fine.
I don't remember anything about it.
thing about it.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, obviously the fountainhead is how I tried to live my life.
Yeah, of course.
Atlas Shrugged.
Yeah.
How to influence people.
What is that book called?
How to win friends and influence people.
Yeah.
How to influence people.
You used me two books and they smashed them together.
Hey, more value for the buck.
But yeah, I mean, I don't read a ton of self-help books.
So.
Yeah.
I prefer to let other.
people help me.
Yeah.
I've had periods of time where I enjoy a self-help book, but now's not one of them.
There's not one that really feels like it, you know, like the Eckhart totally one was
the power of now.
I remember thinking it was all about like living in the moment, but, um, yeah, I just call it the
nower.
Yeah, I can set of hour.
Yeah, instead of the power of now, the nower.
I prefer books about pirates and what's that?
Hmm?
What's a pirate?
Yeah.
You've never seen a,
book then, obviously, when you were a little kid about a pirate.
Never. Never seen one.
Yeah, when is the concept of pirates, when are, what is it introduced to people?
Because I remember reading Treasure Island and going like, oh, I know what these are.
And honestly, probably from a cartoon.
Who cares about pirates?
Why are we so obsessed as a culture with pirates?
They're fucking badass.
Yeah, they love each other.
They're bad, but good.
They love each other.
They're fun.
They're swashbuckling.
You make your own family.
They do.
Yeah, Pirates have a chosen family, and I think that's beautiful.
That's so sweet.
All right, let's hear another voicemail, VM, as we call it.
Hello, this is Joe.
I had a question.
I'm on my way, actually, to quit my job.
And I'm just wondering if the three of you have any good job-putting stories.
Yeah, I'd love to hear it.
That's really all.
Love you guys.
You're a great day.
Bye.
Good for you.
I hope that went well.
I think the only job I ever got to quit and not be fired from or have the business go out of business out from under me was when I did telemarketing, which was the worst job I ever had.
And there was a, I worked there for about a year.
And then towards the end of the year, I'd gone home for Thanksgiving.
This was out here in L.A.
I gone home for Thanksgiving, had a really nice visit with family and friends, just for a few days.
And then when I came back, I had to go back to work.
And it was payday.
And I went in and got my check.
And then I like went to the threshold of where the phone room was.
And I just turned around and left.
I just couldn't do it anymore.
And you didn't get your check.
No, I did get my check.
Oh, okay.
I went to get my check first.
And then I left.
I didn't say anything.
anybody.
Wow.
Nobody ever called.
Like, nobody cared.
They had a quiet quit.
I was, I put as quiet as possible.
And I'm sure that that happened all the time, that people just didn't show up again.
Yeah, you know, when you run a soulless operation.
But it was tough because I had no plan.
You know what I mean?
I did not have another job lined up.
I had no other means of income at the time.
But I just, I just could not do it.
I'm trying to think if I have any good stuff.
I mean, mostly they just involved me.
me going in and saying like, hey, I got, I got a better job.
And then going, yeah, I figured.
Mine were all just me like dreading going with everything in my being every second of
the time I wasn't there to the point where I'm just like, I have to call them.
And then I would quit and then I would sheepishly go pick up whatever money there was.
And that's what I did.
I mean, I used to fantasize about, you know, tearing off my server's apron like Kobe Bryant in
the middle of a game, you know, tearing off his jersey and just throwing it, you know.
in the middle of the restaurant or whatever, but...
Yeah.
No, you just kind of just quit and said, hey, I'm moving on.
Yeah.
Yeah, I never really had like a big confrontation with a boss either, really.
Oh, I mean, I got fired from Marie Callender's for drinking.
We all know that, but...
We all know that.
Famous story.
Yeah, by the banana lady.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
But you got your revenge with that story.
Oh, man, I've been...
Milk and that.
It's a famous story now.
For 35 years at this point.
But, no, unfortunately, I never, God, did I ever quit Bob and David?
No.
Everything just evaporated.
Usually that's in show business, everything just evaporates.
Yeah, I don't have to quit anymore.
Yeah, because a show business quits you.
Yeah.
What a country.
Yep.
Should we play a three-cher?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
This three-cher is called.
happened to me submitted by Rosalie Mata. You will tell a short memory that happened or didn't
happen to you with the other players. Names and dates should match even if the story is fabricated.
However, if you go with a fake story, it must be an altered scene or plot from a movie.
The other players have to guess if that was a real memory or a fabricated one, and if they say
it's fabricated, they have to guess the movie the scene is from. Example, it was 1995. My friends
decided to pierce my ear at summer camp. Ice was placed on my ear and then a lemon was placed
to catch the needle.
This was from Lindsay Lohan's parent trap.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
First.
I mean a second to think here of a memory.
Okay.
I mean, one, the one thing I can think of that comes to mind immediately is in
1972 when I came back from the Army, I, uh, my father was the head of a crime family.
Why is that funny to you?
let's examine that why is that funny to you you you are laughing at your families and this happened
in 1972 you're laughing at your family's business you're laughing at the army you were remembering
it happened in 19702 you remembered when this happened I was telling people about it in
1972 so the story is about you telling the story he has happened in the 40s okay never
mind um okay let's do this no no no i'm just kidding anyway i'm trying to think of um either a memory
or how we've told all of our memories i know we've told all our memories um
okay okay i do i do have a story all right i was working in a restaurant
and a manager came in wearing all yellow and she was she'd been crying
The year was 1981.
Me and my friend, New Year's Eve, we're playing a video game,
and our goal is to turn the game over, which is to reset the score.
You get a score so high that eventually it goes back to zero.
Our aim is to do this before the class.
Clock strikes 12 at midnight.
We are listening to a top 40 radio station.
We are playing the game.
We're making it happen.
We're trading off, passing the controller to each other,
and it's getting down to the wire.
Exactly at 11 bongs of the clock,
we turned the game over.
We celebrated.
And then we went to sleep.
Wow.
That was gripping.
That was gripping.
I'm going to say that was a real story.
Lauren.
I'm going to say it's not real.
And it's from freaks and geeks.
Scott is correct.
It was a real story.
Wow, you told it's so fake
And we get it
And I can't remember the name of the game
I love it
But it was like
It was an television game
Do you remember in television?
Yeah, yeah
Terrible controller
Because I have the disc right
Yeah
Intellivism was like
We're gonna crush you Atari
Nope
Sorry
It's like Arsidio
I'm gonna kick Jay's ass
All right
Um all right
Um
Here's one
Did I do it right?
Yeah you did it right
Yeah it was perfect
Okay. It sounded like a movie.
When I was a teenager, this is just a small memory.
When I was a teenager, anytime I would be...
God, I can't do this.
Anytime I would be reading a book in public,
my people in my town would just, like,
be obsessed with me and talk about me and how I'm a little odd.
Sometimes they'd even sing a song about me.
kind of all together
about how I was weird
and they just couldn't put their finger on it
but they always thought something was weird about me
but there really wasn't anything weird
I just liked reading books
was this same town
where there was a monster man
who lived in a castle
the beast yeah he was a guy
but they thought you were weird
yeah they kind of
I know and then when we were together
it was like oh hell broke loose
like he had a candlestick that was alive
people wouldn't shut up oh wow yeah
and talking a talking to
that was just a blip in their lives they actually got to be people again at a certain point
you were strange you were the strange one because you read books I know this is my point
you know yeah that's just provincial France I think this is a real story it is okay
that was me and my friends uh one New Year's Eve okay I have one
I forgot all the stories to take place of New Year's Eve okay when I was 15
my family took a family trip to Australia down under as they call it and we went to the beach
one day in Sydney and I was with some friends I didn't really know anybody but I had met some
people that day some like other kids I mean you know 15 year olds and we were just kind of like playing
around throwing a football around and um then i saw out in the water i saw uh it was like a
i could tell as a body i couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman like sort of flailing a little bit like
you know so and i was pretty close to it and i looked back and there wasn't a lifeguard so i went
out out there and it was pretty shallow so it was like it there was really nothing going on but
But it was this girl who had gotten a cramp.
And, you know, I'm not going to say I saved her life or that she nearly drowned, you know, but it was, you know, I helped her out at least.
You know, and we ended up dating and we got together and all that kind of stuff.
Anyway.
I think that's fake and I think it's grease.
Yeah, it is grease.
Okay.
All right.
Yep.
I was in the,
let's see.
Trying to think of your own memory.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of what happened in my life.
Just think of yesterday.
I remember the movie?
I remember.
No one knew who the Beatles were anymore.
I remember there was one Halloween where me and my friends went out trick-or-treating and there was this scary house in the neighborhood that we always dared each other, like go up and touch the door or whatever.
And at Halloween, it was especially scary to do this.
And I remember my friend went up and touched the door and then a guy came out and he went on an Achilles-free.
I think that's true.
Wait, did you die?
He killed a bunch of people.
He called a bunch of people.
Did he kill you?
No, no.
Oh, cool.
I was just a witness to all of this.
Oh, you witnessed every single death?
I didn't witness every single death.
I witnessed about five deaths, I think, right out there on the street.
Cool.
Okay, that reminds me of a memory, a real memory from when I was growing up.
That, um.
my friends and I
we loved to
hang out and that's normal
I think
and at the time
a friend was like
do you guys want to see a dead body
and he suggested
that we kind of walk along the train tracks
and just through the town
until we came to where the dead body was
so your friend knew that there was a dead body there
not just that
hey if we walked down the train tracks far enough
I would be worried that he's like asking me, hey, do you want to die right now?
And he's taking me to kill me somewhere.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It wasn't that.
It was that there was really this person who'd passed and they were laying there.
Hmm.
And that really happened.
Fuck.
Yeah, I know.
That's crazy.
That's real.
That's real.
It is real.
That's real.
I remember.
I remember.
this was probably in the mid-90s, me and my best friend, his name was Beavis.
We went on a road trip across America.
We sort of did America.
Oh, across the whole country.
Anyway, there was like an LSD trip and stuff like that, but it was, I don't really remember
anything else happening.
I remember when we were kids in Maine.
and we were little kids.
We were like a tight-knit group of outcasts, freaks, and nerds.
And, well, we found out there was a clown that lived in the sewer.
And he would talk to us.
Isn't that weird that always happens?
It was so, this is like the thing.
Kids today don't understand, but if you're an 80s kid, you get it.
Yeah.
Clowns were, like they lived exclusively.
in sewers back then.
They weren't all bad either.
Some were fun.
No, no.
They were great.
In fact, if you ever had, like, if you were the proprietor of a circus and you
need to hire clowns, you would just go to the sewers.
Yeah.
Just throw a manhole and go.
Oh, yeah.
And they wanted jobs.
They were kind of waiting.
Yeah.
Because their dream was to live in an apartment.
So.
Yeah.
So this is one of the bad.
Now they're all in high rises because they made so much money.
Exactly.
Don't even get me started on the clown uprising.
So I remember
this one clown was like real bad
And then we felt stupid because
Even though one of us did get killed
He turned out to be just a big spider
From outer space
From outer space
Okay that's crazy that you didn't realize that
He looked like I'm telling you
If you saw him he looked like a clown
Okay
Do you a picture?
Yeah right here
Okay yeah that looks like a clown
That looks exactly like no wait wait wait
You turn to the side
It's lenticular.
It's a spider from outer space.
Okay.
You didn't turn.
We never looked at them sideways.
Oh.
We always looked at them straight on.
I have one more.
Deep in the eyes.
Oh, okay.
Go ahead.
So back in like, this was the 90s, I was like, I was like, I guess you would say I was like a paleontologist.
Mm-hmm.
And I loved dinosaurs.
sure. Dino DNA.
Right. I got involved in this like, wasn't like a museum.
It was like, it wasn't an amusement park. It wasn't a zoo.
It was kind of like all of the above combined, which I thought was a great idea.
And I sort of was brought in to like, um, check out, you know, these dinosaurs that have been
made, um, from the DNA that they found in like amber and fossils and stuff.
Whoa.
I know.
That's a cool way to do it.
It was a really big thing.
So, like, we kind of made dinosaurs, and they were aggressive.
And kind of every couple of years, one of them would get out or be, like, kind of untameable.
Well, they probably shut that program down, right?
No, they kept doing it.
They kept doing it?
Yeah, like, kind of different iterations.
Do they eventually clone humans?
No, they kind of just kept thinking it'd be fun to see a triceratops.
I'm pretty sure they did.
Nope.
They just thought it'd be cool to see a T-Ratres.
Rex. Okay, never mind. Yeah. No, they never ever did that.
Pretty sure. No, they never, because this was my, this was just like my job. Right.
As a paleontologist who worked at this place, did you ever mean any stupid-ass girls who worked the computers?
Yeah. Yeah, there was this girl who was always upset.
Okay, well, I don't really think of people that way. Just idiot.
But she was always scared. Yeah. But yeah, she didn't die.
So I'll see her again.
Yeah.
Good story.
That's real.
That's true.
That's true.
That's how we play that game.
And thank you to whoever sent that in.
If you'd like to send us a feature, you can write to Freedom USA at gmail.com.
Listen, that's our show, everybody.
That's our show.
Yeah.
If you want to hear ad-free episodes of this, go to Stitcher Prime or CBB World.
And that's going to do it for us.
And look, hey, keep leaving those voices.
mails because we just answered two of them.
We're not liars.
No.
We're not liars.
We tell the truth always.
We love to tell the truth.
And then there's another podcast that always tells lies.
Yep.
Yeah.
But look, sorry about the Zoom.
Needs must as the devil drives and all that.
Next time we'll be back.
Needs must as the devil drives.
You heard me.
All right.
But we're going to be back in person next time.
I swear to you.
I swear to you.
I swear to you.
Please, baby.
Give us a chance.
Let's give us a chance, baby.
Just one more chance.
Please, baby, please.
Please.
It's just, this is what we had to do.
We're what we had to do for right now.
All right, goodbye.
Bye.
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