Threedom - Threevisiting: The Zoo STINKS!

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Scott, and Paul talk blankets, slankets, and bluggies, oh my! Then they play Out of Ten. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit scotiabank.com slash h-I-S-A to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Freedom! No way. That's crazy. I swear to got it. I heard a monkey.

You're losing it. A monkey? You're losing your marbles. Am I going insane? Is your head in the zoo? You're absolutely going nuts. I do think about the zoo a lot. Really?

Yeah. What do you think about it? I think it smells. You want to buy one. I want to buy one with someone else. So they can say we bought a zoo. Yes. So kind of like just on any given day, you're just kind of going, the zoo smells.

Yeah. At a given hour. Yeah. And you know, you are right. Thank you. It stinks because you know why? And here's my theory. The animal's shit everywhere.

Interesting. And then the people cleaned up, but not right away. Hmm. I think it's tourists. Okay. Yeah. I think they make the smell. I think it's people who are tourists.

Hmm. Can you imagine if we just lived in a zoo year round? Like if aliens abducted us? Yeah, like a slaughterhouse five kind of situation. What if it kind of are? Fucking suck, man. What if people are coming by and looking at us? God, I hope a slaughterhouse five doesn't happen.

Honestly, if we are in a zoo, it's not that bad. They did a pretty good job. No, yeah, because we each get to kind of make it our own design. We have a very wide-ranging habitat. It involves planes. We don't know what the other planets are. They might be zoo visitors. Yeah.

They probably are, right? Yeah. We think it's... Through one of those things, going to put a quarter in. But like, we think it's amazing to have, like, planes and stuff. But, like, if you went to another planet and you saw what it was like when they don't have a zoo there, you'd be like, oh, we're actually really confined. They think it's cute that we get on planes.

They're like, oh, they think they're going somewhere. They think it's cute that we have zoos. They're like, oh, they're in a zoo. And they put these other animals in a zoo. Yeah, they think they're in control. That's mortifying. That's really amazing. Oh, my God.

That's humiliating. It's like when a child has a little like kitchen place. Yeah. Oh. You think you're really cooking. Don't you. Yeah, that food's made of wood, idiot. Hey, welcome to freedom.

I put that there. Welcome to Freedom. I'm Scott. I'm Paul. I'm Lorne. And this is another episode. This is episode 202. Can you believe the palindromic?

Oh, oh. I wish it was Sunday. Oh, whoa. Because that's my fun day. Oh, wow. I don't have to run day. Oh, oh. Just another man like money.

I was listening to on the way here. It's a perfect look. I was listening to it and I was like this. First of all, I love that song. But secondly, it's get that out of the way. So let me just make that clear. not enough songs about how like just a hard day it's been a hard day

like it's like I'm not going to get there bad day which what day he she she wishes it was Sunday I know Prince wrote it and then Suzanne So Prince wishes it was Sunday but Susanna is just expressing that for him Because Sunday is the fun day

I don't you wish you was Saturday Yeah but Sunday Sunday is by I don't have to run day Because it's like Saturday you're still doing show Yeah Saturday like you have the kids You're like Saturday They are in the song A false day off.

All of Prince's Princess. Pick up their kids. Yeah. I think they're just out party. They would have had good children, like attractive children. Together.

Yeah. I think we don't know that they didn't. Oh my God. You're right. Well, that's a mystery. So you're just shutting it down, the investigation? This is a cold case, Lauren. That's a mystery.

That's a mystery. We'll never understand. We'll never solve. Or a cold case episode should have ended with that. Yeah. Well, that's a mystery. This case remains cold. Cold is hell.

This was never solved. It didn't happen. What if they did that at the end of the end of the cold case? We made this up. What? We're watching the show for years. Oh, by the way, we forgot to tell you. All of these are stories.

A room of writers wrote that one. It's good. It is funny. It's a really good bit. It's a good bit. All right. So it's been less than 24 hours since we've seen each other. So much has gone down, dude.

So much. Okay, tell us everything. I watched more Love is Blind. Okay, Reality Reiki. I watched more Survivor. Not Survivor. People did. What the hell, Paul?

I'm so sorry. The Traders, Australia. The Traders, Australia. Love is blind. People are growing on me. The first episode, they put in a, there are people who straight up leave. Yeah.

So, which is a good thing. And then they have some love happening and I'm excited. I always wonder, because. The people who don't make it to the altar are the sane ones to me. Right. In The Bachelor or in this? You really shouldn't. But like what kind of situation would you have to be in in your life in order to undergo a love is blind?

That's a great question. God. You know, I watch that and I think about that because I just go, you're really limiting the pool in a way. But then you're like, but these are people who've been trying to date on the apps and going out with a lot of people. They're people who supposedly are ready for marriage, which narrows everything down a little bit. This is the last resort. I've tried literally everything else. I should go on this game show.

But there's one guy who's saying who's literally like, I'm a bad person. I don't think I'm a good person yet or something. And then this girl is about to get engaged to him. Yeah. And she already knew that he said that. And she's like,

that's a red flag for me. And I'm like, it should be. That's pretty much like one of the, it's red glasses. You get 100 flags. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just one. Wait, is this the guy that had the list of questions?

No, it's a different guy. That guy left. He told two girls the same thing. And then they found out. And then he was like, he used the same kind of language of, oh, I can't wait to talk to your father to ask him for permission. Ew. And he kept talking. I know, he was really annoying.

And he also kept talking. Oh, sorry. I don't mean to say that about him. He also kept talking about how America was watching. And they were like, okay, but how about this relationship? And he's like, but America will see that I did this. And it's like, you're talking about people. What about me?

What about the person you're talking to? Like, focus on what you just did, not how it will be perceived. by America. So you want to do this. Me? Yeah. Do what? Go on love is blind?

I got to go on. I just, I want to see if I could fall in love. They should put one married person in there just to like throw a monkey in the throw a monkey in the rent. But they should be able to say. I hear it again. No, you don't. They should be able to say that they're married.

Like at a certain point they're like, I do have a secret. I am married. But we've already fallen in love. So I wanted to see if that's a deal breaker. And I will not get divorced for my current partner. Is that a red flag? That's a red flag, but yes. Let me ask you this because I wrestle with this now that I somehow have reality programming in my life.

No, this has been such a great shift. Such a turnaround for you because early in our early seasons, Paul, you were mentally out when we would do reality. I was mentally diminished. Yeah, you would be literally could see you on an island drinking a margarita. Thinking about the zoo. talked thinking about how the zoo stinks. That's my happy place. I picture myself

on a island. Tropical Drake little umbrella thinking about how much the zoo smells like shit. Vampire. Vampire. What do I'm going to say vampire? Vampire Zoo. I meant to say Vanderpump. Vampire Zoo. But you got very excited, but I don't think there's anything there. We should

make one. Vampire zoo. Okay, they're up all night. Sky with me. We're going to see Scott's eyes. It's all animals that drink blood. Vampire Zoo. I don't think in any vampire phase, it's just a good idea. Do you know what that, here's what it felt like to me when you said Vampire Zoo all excited. Yeah.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strait. Yes. Vampire Zoo, we got it. I'm throwing a ball against the wall. Everybody go home. I need to watch that. How could I access that? I have them all.

You do? Yes, I do. He's collected them all. I've been threatening to do a rewatch podcast of that show. Oh, my God, do it. Yeah, I got to do it. Yeah. We watched the first one for Sean Clement's podcast.

It's available to watch. watch somewhere? I guess. YouTube, probably. Yeah, or we rented it, but it's, it's very good. But what I'm trying to say about vampire zoo is, I don't think I've seen it in any movie about.

No. Those are two words that have. I wonder why that is. Those two words have not been put together. Like a world that is enslaved the vampires. Oh, okay, it's vampires in the zoo. I thought the animals were vampires. Ooh.

Now you're talking. That's a little vampire. It's too much crossover. That's true because cows become vampires. I actually think that's right. really good actually. Watch the little vampire and see what you think. What is it called?

The Little Vampire with Jonathan Lipnicki. I want to keep it that way, dude. Why do you always bring up Jonathan Lipnicki every day of my life? That's the other thing he thinks about constantly. And you always think, the human head weighs eight pounds. I wonder if he would agree is what happens. I always come to that. I think about how much the, look, I'm having my tropical drink.

You're on my time. I'm on a beach. It's beautiful ocean waves. Clear blue water like you can see for miles. Wow, that's gorgeous. Swaying palms. I'm sipping my drink. I start thinking about the zoo smelling like shit.

And then eventually, after a couple hours, I start to think, would Jonathan Libnicki agree with me? Yeah. And have you ever really heard his opinions on anything? No. He should call in. You kind of don't know where he's... He's very guarded.

But you kind of don't know where he's coming from, like, pretty much on anything. He's so afraid to offend people. Call into our three-meam episodes if you're listening, Jonathan. Jonathan Libnicki, please go to hagclaims8.com. Leave us a voicemail. Do you think the zoo smells like shit? Also, what do you think about other things? Also, go to do you think the zoo smells like shit.com.

Where you can vote in our poll. It's not about whether the zoo smells like shit. No, it's not. That's just like to grab your attention. It's a poll about like flavors of M&Ms. Yes. Yes. How many are there?

And we were just wondering. Yeah. But did Vanderpump get you going on the reality? Did Van der Pump get you going in the reality? You know what? It did in a way that Southern Charm did not. You were trying that for a while. Southern Charm was the only one we watched.

Because it was a town. But that's such a like mistake. Paul, you were bad. Well, believe me, we knew it was a mistake, but we couldn't stop making it season after season. Because you would watch it and go like, oh, look at that building. We've been there. Yeah. But you just didn't know how.

We watched with the sound down. You didn't know how good it could get, you know, like you're limiting yourself. Oh, absolutely. And of course with Vanderpump now in the wake of Scandalvall, it being like the it being about like the mask completely dropping

and now they're acknowledging they have an audience they're acknowledging people watch the show but not enough as far as I'm concerned where they should be saying like you know the only reason this is a quote unquote friend group is because we're on a TV show we would never hang out with each other

they're getting close to that though yeah I feel like they're getting very close to that if the upcoming scenes are to be not that they're not even friends maybe they're not friends anymore or that how much of it is for show like like we're doing a TV show and we never hang out when the TV show's not on

yeah there's like a scene coming up in a future episode where there's somebody is challenged on you know the future you know is that from is that are you saying that in life you're saying that because the cameras are here which is like it's wild to watch but like here's I actually wait just really quick yeah okay really quick

just really how quick I said it I said it Oh, you said it. Okay. You understand. Oh, shit. Those are too quick. No, I feel like if you're at that point, it's almost like how we don't even want to share a real story until we're recording. It's like they should just.

No, I sat on that cool up story for months. They do not want to communicate and waste good stuff that they could be doing for the show. That's why we just not even hang out. That's why we need to do reveal our connections on this podcast every year. Purple blue yellow green. Purple. If you get a purple to start, you get glasses, emojis. But Paul gave up on connections because he thinks it's bullshit.

The New York Times bummed me out. I don't want to get it. The New York, the old gray lady? The old gray lady. The paper of record. Okay, so what we're going to say about Vendipim. So you said the one guy was annoying on that show, and then you sort of backtrack that. You felt bad about it.

Well, yeah. But here's the thing. He is. I don't want to say it. I feel like, I feel like. The idea of these shows, and I'm not saying this is positive, but I feel like these shows are, they're inviting us to do that and they're giving us license to do that. That's kind of their whole point is you're looking through a window at these people and you're making your opinions about them. Yes.

And from week to week and you're talking about them. They're complicit in it, but at the same time, they're young and don't know what they're doing. And then suddenly they're depending on the show. Yeah. Some of the love is blind people are not that young, but some are like 24, but somewhere like 24. but somewhere like 33, 34 year-old. But guess what? Those people can be annoying.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And I mean, it's also a really tough situation to not be annoying in because you're trying to find your husband and wife through a partition. And as Lily Sullivan put it, you're like in a warehouse that's freezing, it seems, because they always have blankets around them. That's a recipe for annoying. I do think that they're getting fed more actively.

Hold on a second. Hold on a second. They've got blankets wrapped around. They always have. Like a million blankets around them. But they're also dressed, you know, wearing a cute dress. A cute dress. Maybe it's like it's not that warm.

But like the Paul, Paul, let it go. They have blankets around them all the time. What is strange about it? Like in the movie Lincoln? It's like when they're cozy and they're hanging out in the little shared community space. Isn't it interesting? Like the whole blanket industry. Let's get into it.

What about slankets? But once we got like. We're always talking about blankets. We never talk about sling. What about bluggies? But we don't need them anymore. When's the last time you bought a blanket? When is the last time you bought a bluggy?

When's the last time you were like, oh, too cold in here? Let me go down to the store and buy a blanket. I love buying blankets. I have too many. I love single-use blankets. Well, I love... We have like a big box. We pull out like tissues.

Yeah, it's great. I just throw it all your oil. Oh, you blow your nose on them. Oh, that's a dream. They should create these. Did you remember in the past? We could be the new my pillow guy. My blanket?

My blanket. It's my pillow. You can blow your nose on it. It's my pillow. We do it like Kleenex and we go blankax. Yeah. And then that starts to become the word for blanket. And then you're like, it's actually a brand.

Why don't we call it bluffs like puffs? Okay. Deal. Thank you. Great. I got my way. As long as we're doing it. But why don't you call it blitos like Cheetos?

Whoa. Because I think people will think blood is involved. Okay. What about Chee blows? She blows. She blows. She blows. Hey, baby, but she blows.

She blows. What about Dar she blows? That's about it. You don't hear that much anymore. Yeah. Darcy blankets. Varshie blankets is it. That's it.

Okay. But I wanted to say on the previous seasons of, Love is Blind. There was like a whole like lawsuit or something about. Yes. And they cut out people entirely. They didn't feed them. Which was really weird because I was watching that season going like, no one, no one's getting engaged.

They ended up with like two couples and it was so boring. Well, but this time they're eating a lot. They're eating a lot. I think that they weren't fed. And this time they're going, look, you have sushi all the time. You always eat. That guy's making a sandwich. These are all things that they.

They didn't have the sushi all the time. That guy's making a sandwich. They seemed to not have access to food at their beck and call. That was something that was said in the sort of expose doc. Right. You series. You series. We all series.

You know, Paul, I wanted to bring this up on Mike. Paul and I were singing the theme song to C&H, Purekine Sugar. That's correct. Right before we started. Oh, yeah. It's a little warm up while you were taking care of some. I know it from Jess McKenna singing it on Doe Boys. Okay.

That's a great place to do. know it otherwise. You don't know it from life. But CNH sugar still exists. Why do they not advertise anymore? It was everywhere in the 70s and the 80s. Well, that was back when you guys didn't know that you could just buy sugar. Right. They, so it was like, oh, that's right. Now available to the public. Yeah. That was their big thing. It used to be like you could only have it if you're a corporation. Or you have to go to the library. Yeah. I rent it. But at what point are they just like, yeah, we're good. Everyone knows about us. I think it's kind of like, it's such a basic image

basic bitch brand I can see the packaging and I just go that's one Oh you see an H My mom uses that sugar They've been around since 1906 Dang

But they didn't start Really advertising with that song Until the 70s or 80s right And then at some point they're like Okay we did what we needed to do Maybe the head of the company H hated that song Can you sing it?

C and H Pure C sugar From Hawaii growing in the sun When you cook When you bake Maybe you should use C&H

Pure C and sugar That's the one Maybe you should use it There's a weird breakdown On the song Where the singers get confused And also Also

The writers of the song get confused Yeah That's not the version It confuses the singers Yeah That's not the version I know What's the version you know? No. C and H. C and H. That's what I mean, she's saying a fast version.

Find it. You're making that up. Find it. But that was. Name them. That was one of our mutual. Name them. That was one of our mutuals. I'm going to text Jess right now and ask her to voice mail.

To voicemail it. Okay. And then you can plug it in here. But that was one of our mutuals, Paul, you and I's mutual's point about McDonald's was they were saying, why does McDonald's need to advertise anymore? Yes. use all that money for charity or whatever. I think they still need to advertise. And see, I was sort of like, yeah, they still need to because the reason they advertise all the time is to remind you all the time of like, oh, that makes me hungry.

And I also think if they didn't advertise, we'd start to go, what's going on there. Yeah. But that's what I'm saying about C&H. It worked for them. Sugar is one thing. It's one thing. They don't, they don't. Sugar is one thing.

Sugar is one thing. Now, now, now. McDonald's has 400 menu items. It's made up of granules, though. Sugar? Yes. Okay, so it's like most. It's more than most things.

So is sugar the collective noun for all of those granules? All of those things, yeah. Well, is table the collective noun for all of the atoms and molecules? Well, is water. Yes, it is. Like, is water the name of like, you know, two hydrogen molecules and then one oxygen molecule. you. No. Okay. What are you? Oh, you're still texting, Jess.

Hello, good morning. I have wanted to text you. Hold on. I'm getting into my dream. Hold on. So how this is this dream about CNH? Someone online is. You're like lying to try to make it make more sense, but it's like. Someone online was saying that they've now text all their friends like they're Joe Biden or Kamala Harris texting. You're going like, this is urgent. Urges. Do you want to go to movies tonight? This is Lauren Lappkis asking you for your sincere help.

Are you going to humiliate Lauren by not going to the movies? Is there anything I can say to get you to have lunch with me? How about the one where it was like, are you going to watch? Are you going to watch the State of the Union? President Biden will be humiliated. That one really. That's so crazy. What the fuck?

I guess I humiliated him by not. Yeah, me too. I watched traitors. I don't know what I was doing. So you're, if you had, you had a binary choice, traders or state of the union, or I guess going outside. Or anything else in the world. Trianary union. Trenary decision. You actually were able to do whatever you wanted right that. Yeah, that's true. Got to be on the beach thinking about the zoo smelling like shit. Okay. So, but let's say you had to watch something. Okay. You pick traders. Yes. What if you had already seen? Even if I didn't have to. What if you'd already seen all traders episodes? Started from the beginning.

And what if you'd already seen the State of the Union? Hmm. What if you wrote the State of the Union? And you wanted to see how it got said. Hey, look, they say the Union's strong. Everybody, you know that America is the greatest country in the world. So, Paul, you're saying that Biden's too old to be president and that you're voting for Trump. What is the age difference there?

It's like two months? Yeah. We got to stop, like, as a country acting like he's older than Trump. Yes, it's not that he's too old. No. It's other reason. You're too young. Here's what I want.

I want 35-year-old. No, you don't. Yes. No, I don't necessarily, but there's also. Still getting blackout drunk? But I'm saying. Okay, how about when Obama was president? He was like 40-something.

I'm like, let's get a 40-something present. You didn't build that. Yeah. Yeah. Someone who's got some energy. Is he talking about the wall? And they have some new ideas and they're with it, you know, with talking about the way. And they're hip and they're hip and cool.

And they wear tansuit. They play pickleball. Biden makes good memes. They smoke. Biden makes good memes. I know he's in bed making those, those, let's go Brandon. I got another dark brandy. Spouse.

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And we're back. Paul's still laughing about making the memes in bed. Joe Biden's sitting up in bed in the White House making the meme. What's funny is I could see Trump doing that. Well, I was going to say, for sure. 8 a.m. until 1 p.m. when he would go into the White House. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. He does. Yeah. Tweet often. And it's clearly him. I mean, that's the difference, I guess. That's the main difference I see between them. Although you could, I feel like Trump could very easily have somebody tweet as him and they could

nail the voice. Well, yeah. You know what I mean? Everyone can do it. Simply everyone can do it. I actually, the one on the Oscars, I was like, is that real or not? But then it was. I kind of didn't know at first that it was going to be Trump. But it was kind of perfect that it was real. Yeah. Yeah. The Oscars from two months ago. I don't give a shit. Yeah, man. Yeah. We can't talk about history. But we're still talking about tweets written by presidents and former presidents.

We're still talking about these. Yeah, this is presidential history. This is presidential history. What is your favorite, what is your favorite history thing? When Trump tweeted that thing during the Oscars. Cotton gin. It was such a big deal. It was like that kicked off the Industrial Revolution.

I think mine's pasteurizing milk. Now do we ever even think about it? What if when they kicked off the Industrial Revolution, if Pitbull had been alive and he could have performed at it that would have been so cool. Mr. Worldwide. It really feels like a missed opportunity.

Yeah. Or at least Mr. Lover Lover. Is that one of his names? No, that's John Pau. Oh, I'm so sorry. I apologize. To Pitbull as well. Make sure you apologize.

Here comes the nose. Mr. Worldwide. Here comes the nose. One of Pitbull's famous tracks. What does Pitbull do? He sings. He barks and he chases his other dogs. He shaved his head.

He's not as mean as you think he is. People always think Pitbull is like so aggressive, but he's actually a really nice guy. And he's actually really controlled. Pit bull does have a locking jaw. Pit bull will wear a harness around his mouth or muzzle. If it makes you more comfortable. If you ever see those pictures of Pitbull when he didn't have the current Pitbull look and he looks just so. I can't imagine.

He looks just so funny. I've never seen what. is like his high school picture and he has long hair or something? How do I access as pit bull not looking like pit bull? This is a classic meme format. Oh, guys, she responded, absolutely no prob. Absolutely here. You want to plug me in?

Here we go. Absolutely no prob. Here we go. This is Jess McKenna singing. And coming in at number two, it's Jess McKenna for the fifth week in a row with the C&H jingle. Hi Paul Lorne and Scott, hi Freedom listeners. Oh, she's in a church. CNH, CNH, my mom uses it to make her cakes.

It makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy. They're Dan, dandy. Island kids all love the cane. It grows so clean and sweet. They eat it when it's freshly cut, and then that's quite a treat. Neat. Touched by sun, kiss by rain. C&H comes from the sugar cane.

It makes the greatest cookie snacks and candy. in the bright pink package. Wow. Exactly. Isn't that cute? So now I've never heard that before. So maybe CNH still is putting out jams? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe every generation gets their own C&H jingle and nobody else can hear it. Okay, Pit bull with hair. Pipple with hair. It's a dog. That is odd. Oh, boy. So it reminds me of how much like every human body is just kind of ridiculous, but you got to find the way.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. The way, like the one thing you can wear that makes you look cool or the one thing, you know, if it's shaving your head, maybe it's that. Maybe it's sunglasses. But for him, it was sunglasses wearing a tuxedo and shaving his head. Those were the three things in a combo that make everyone go like. Is he wearing sunglasses like Joe Biden? With the red eyes?

Yeah. Ice cream. Oh, here's him with super long hair. Look at this. Oh, that's, hey, that's a look. He, so wait, did he just shave his hair? He's not balding. He just shaved his head because he felt like it.

I don't know. This is him with like... It's a totally different vibe. This is like... What's that guy from Game of Thrones? John Snow. I thought that too. Sort of John Snow look.

You know nothing, Pitbull. Should he go back to it? He should. Grow it out slowly but surely. Here's what I would do if our pit bull, right? Growing up slowly but surely. I've always wondered. And I should...

Well, what I would do is I would sit down and think about the zoo and think. I think it smells good. I've finally breaking my silence on this. By the way, this reminds me of, of like any nowadays on entertainment news headlines. They're always like so-and-so reveals or, you know, it's like they're not revealed. They just happened to say it.

That happened to me where somebody said I broke my silence on something. I was like, what? You asked me a question and I tried to not answer it. So if I were pit bull and I still had a full head of hair, but I shave it for a look, I would hide in my pit bull mansion for like a few months. Like Howard Hughes, but Pitbull. Yes, I wouldn't tell anyone, no one knows where I am. Right.

And you're getting groceries delivered, but you're saying like, leave him at the door. Yeah, I'm putting on a voice like, leave him at the door. That's good, because I'll think here. This is Pitbull's mother. Oh, exactly. And that's intimidating. And I let my hair and my beard grow. Okay, good.

Sort of like Gandalf. You're never trimming the beard because this beard. Sort of like Gandalf. This beard is pretty trimmed. This seems like a week, maybe. He did. Do you think there was a moor or a Gandalf actually thought, I'm going to grow out my hair. And did he ask people?

Was he like, hey, Frodo, should I grow this out? Should I do like, Frodo, should I do like all one length and just like swept back? Yeah. And then Frodo is like, what about a feather to cut? Well, God, Gandalf with like a Jennifer Aniston and Rachel cut. I'd love to see it. That's so pretty. Can we do that into AI?

I've never used AI yet. Can we do that into AI? AI. Can you please make people with Jennifer. I know this makes me sound a million years old. I mean, get off. How do you even do AI? Do you have to go to a thing?

Honestly, I don't know. I know that there's a website. Go to a thing. Like it's chat GPT or whatever, right? Yeah. There's a bunch of them now. I honestly don't know. So you just go to a website and then ask them to put something in and then it does it for

free or do you have to pay them? I think you get some for free. Some for free. Can we get this one for free? Are you enjoying this? Try it. But here's what I do. So I'm pit bull. Oh, wow.

I can't believe I'm next to you. I'm hiding. Mr. Worldwide, right here. Mr. Area Code, whatever it is. I'm going to sign up. I would hide in my house. Everything wants you to sign up. Fuck this shit.

I don't want you to know where I am. I don't want to give you my assassination coordinates. You're hiding in your house. I'm hiding in my house. I'm letting my hair and beard grow. After, I'm going to say, three months. I take a pair of, I take a suit, one of my famous suits.

Yeah. I cut like triangular raggedy edges in the sleeves. And you cut it into shorts? And the pants. I cut them into shorts with like raggedy edges. Raggedy andy style. Much like, you know what? He was not that raggedy.

Or like Frankenstein style. Frankenstein style. I feel like he was rag doll, so that's more really where it came. He was a rag doll, but he was actually very well put together. But it's very pejorative to call him ragged style. I think so too. Yeah. And Raggedy Ann.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad they found each other. Yeah. They're siblings. But I call a press conference, are they? Who have sex? I think they're siblings.

They're basically twins. I always thought they were lovers. Okay. Siblings are dating. Lovers. Siblings are dating raggedy and raggedy andy. Why do you think they're siblings? Do you know that?

Siblings or dating? Do you know that website? Oh, siblings are dating. Yes. Website. Do you have to sign up for that? You have to have it. No, you don't.

You don't. You don't just sign up. I mean, unless you want to be one. I'd like to be one. I call a press conference in Miami, Natch. Okay, Natch.

And I say, I was shipwrecked. And I just got back. They're siblings, by the way. Okay. Okay. Raggedy Ann and her brother,

Raggedy and here are a couple of ragdolls. A couple. A couple. You just said it. Yeah. You just said it. I rest my case, your honor.

Case dismissed. This is the sentence. A couple of ourselves. The sentence. living in Marcella's playroom. With their very best... Who the fuck is Marcella? With their very best friends, they go on a lot of wild adventures.

Who are these friends? We've never heard of anyone other than these two. Raggedy Thomas. Raggedy Joan. It continues. Raggedy Ann and her brother, Raggedy Andy are a couple of ragdolls living in Marcellus' favorite. It continues to say this exact same thing.

So this is AI. I don't know. That's what IMDB says. Many people are asking. about Raggedy Ann and Andy and are they pregnant? And the signs say that yes, they are. And they couldn't be happier, but they are not a couple anymore. Should I sign up for this just to get the Gandalf picture?

Why don't we just put it out to the fans? Just put it out to the fans. Send us these pictures. All right. We want to see Gandalf with first of all, beautiful feathery white hairs. Like almost like a Farrah Fawcett. I want to see like a... In the same pose.

In the same swimsuit. It's Farrah Fosset. In the same swimsuit with a nipple spoking. Golden Girls kind of look. Yeah, sure. Sure. Okay, we'll do an Estelle Getty and then we want to see him with the Rachel. Give us four squares, different looks for Gandalf. Did Estelle Getty invent Getty images?

Yes. Yeah. Great. First, it was just pictures of her. And she's like, let's expand just slightly. Let's make it everybody. I love people now when they go to like red carpets or friends of ours. When they go to red carpets, they now like rip off the Getty images and they're so low reds. It's so cranny.

When they post them. No, I know. It's a real danger zone. I've been, a lot of celebrities have this problem. You'll notice the A-listers posting grainy images. And I just go, let's wake up. Let's put the glasses on. Let's get a second opinion on this picture.

Let's make sure everyone can see it. Why not buy it from Getty images? I'm talking about literally like Julia Roberts posted a grainy image of somebody else. I'm going, let's just go by. I'm not saying someone at our level. We can't afford this shit. I'm not paying $500 for a Getty image of myself. Yeah.

You're out of your mind. No, send me either. No, but they should send someone. it to you. I feel if it's you. They should send it to you. Yeah, because they've captured your soul. It's a little bit. But anyway, I'm just like, we need everyone to wake up. We need to slow down. You just share the image with a few people in your room. Get raggedy. Let's just see if it's grainy or not, you know. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you can't see. We saw the Martin Church Steve Martin Show. We've talked about it, I think. But he was the lowest-res

When they were like to project at the Hollywood bowl. Was it a joke? No, no. It was part of their routine where they were talking about certain celebrities. I feel like the Elon Musk one was so low-res. Yeah, it was really funny. It was such a tiny, tiny picture. I busted someone on a Zoom the other day.

I was like, when they first come on before they turn their camera on, it's like an icon of their picture or whatever. It was the smallest lowest-res thing. And he's like, oh, I guess I didn't even know I had one. That must be from like 12 years ago when I signed up for... Oh, weird. Yeah. Was it Bill 9 of the science guy?

For Zoom.com. Because that was flawless. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I stood behind him in line to meet the president. Speaking of Obama. Wow. At like a county fair?

Yep. It was the pie eating contest. Everybody, you want to come and meet me? No, I can't do it. I can't do Obama. Come on, he was the president. We should be able to imitate him. That's a big fucking deal.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. It's like there should be- Everyone should be able to imitate the president. Yes, that is our First Amendment rights. Yeah. One-A. Yes.

First Amendment guarantees us the right to be good at imitating the president. And with that, and I'm not saying we can be arrested for it or whatever because obviously we can't. But just you can't cancel us for imitating the president. I can't get arrested in this town. You can't. Have you been arrested? No, I know you guys. I have, yes.

You have for what? Smoking is. You had a cigarette in the subway. Oh, right. This is one of my classic tales. Cigarette in the subway. Cigarette in the subway. I know.

So this is a mirror in the bathroom. This is a mirror in the bathroom. I was trying to do the girlfriend in the coma. Cigrette in the subway. Do you think if Raggedy Ann and Andy had a child, it would be, you know, damaged in somewhere? Well, here's the thing they should. Well, absolutely. I see the baker.

We need to expand the. I saw the baker. We need to expand the ragged verse. Yeah. So why aren't the thing? they having kids. Why isn't the scarecrow in their family? Yeah.

From Batman. Here's what's wrong with what you're doing. Jonathan Crane? Yeah. You know who that is now. And the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz. Yeah. All the famous scarecrows are a great character.

Pumpkin head ought to be in there. By the way, can anyone just call something Scarecrow now? Because, I mean, he's in Wizard of Oz and Batman. That's like, what a crossover. You have to say, uh, scarecrow. We need to go back in their lineage and see who are the parents. Who birthed them? Because then.

And how did they? They fall in love. That's how we can expand the universe. I'm just thinking how funny it would be if scarecrow and Batman was a scarecrow. A scarecrow. Hey, look, it's a scarecrow. We have to stop a scarecrow. It's just one random one from a penguin.

He insists that's what he should be called. Isn't that weird that? I'm a scarecrow. Just adding the word the to it makes it so chilling. The penguin. Yeah. But Mr. Freeze is just Mr. Freeze. The Joker?

Well, he's not that scary. So much scary than Steve Miller. Yeah. Steve Miller, the... He was just a joker. The song was called the... Oh, oh, oh, not Stephen Miller. I'm a Midnight Joker.

It's called the Joker, the song. But then he's just a joker in the song. Yeah, but he's the quintessential. I guess everyone else calls him the Joker. Like, he's talking about himself. So he's... So he's, oh my God, he admitted it. Yeah, he's being very humble.

He's being very forthcoming with his downfalls. If you're going to come, please make it forth. Do you think people, speaking of humphlets? Humble brags, which I thought but didn't say. Are we allowed to do that now? For transitions? I'm glad that's on the table. But, you know, our good friend Harris coined that term, and people use it incorrectly.

Which is amazing to create a word. It's in the dictionary. But are, is it past say now? You had to pay for your app. It was probably because they were updating it with Humble brag. Shit. Now I don't even get to see Riz in there. Because people don't use it all that much anymore.

No, they don't. Humble brag? Yeah. Do people, is it passing? Was it slang that is... It's almost more like you just kind of say like someone's annoying. Is there a difference between... Now you just say, fuck you.

Is there a difference between coining a slang term and coining a word that is then used in perpetuity? Yes. But I think it being in the dictionary gives it a very long lasting. Like the person who came up with Apple. Yeah. Right? That was so... Now we all call that fruit.

That was so early. That was God talking to Adam. That's... You don't... Here's what's cool, though. We have this opportunity here. We can do that. Because there are things that haven't been named.

Like what? Like, what's this? Glass. Glass. Although, like, it's made of glass, so we should call it something different. I'll call it a cup. Oh, man. Words like that?

I'm going to call it a cup. I just made that up. Window. That's made of glass, but we call it a window. Yeah. Although some people call it a glass. Looking glass. Looking glass.

That's a mirror. Well, that's made of glass. Yeah, I know. Well, what? about people should call these a looking glass because you look more outside windows than you do into a mirror. I can't argue. You sit around looking in a mirror all day? No, you sit around looking

outside the window. I mean, I look at a mirror all day. That's true. You look gorgeous. Thank you. You're so marvelous. Do you know you look marvelous? He, um, no. What? Billy Crystal. Oh, sure. He would do Fernando Lomas. Yes, that does sound vaguely.

He would do. He would do Fernandez, Muhammad Ali. Sammy Davis Jr. A lot of people of other races. Did you dig it? I knew that you could. He was having fun. Here's what I know.

And comedy used to be fun. In a different era. Comedy used to be fun. Now people are sensitive. It used to be a different era. Here's what I know about Billy Crystal. His hat size is size seven. Why do you know that?

Doesn't that seem small? I was, it's kind of small. Because I feel like he has a big head. Because I'm seven and five eight. I'm now imagine how little his body is. How tall is he? He's like a weird marriedette. I don't know.

He can't be that tall. I was shocked to discover. Oh, wait. I did a thing with him. So you tell me? Did you look marvelous? I did a table read with him. But I don't know that I was ever standing next to him.

Yeah, he might have a long torso. I don't know how tall he is. I was shocked. He's probably 511, 5.10. I was shocked. Billy Crystal? 5.8? I don't think so.

You said you're 511 or 510? I'm 510. he's probably 5.10. I'm 5.9. Okay. He could be 5.9. Okay. I was shocked to discover I was taller than Killingen Murphy.

Whenever I'm taller than anyone, I'm shocked. These shorties. Really? Well, celebrities. He's 5'7! They get into movies too much. I guess I was towering the room. That's the same height as

Killingham Murphy. Wow. I feel like it's because they don't want to tip the camera up. Look at this video. The camera up. You know? How tall is Billy? Tollies don't get in TV shows and movies.

Oh, no. Yeah. It's always shortness and they don't want to like tilt the camera. Are you sure about that? Yeah. A lot of leading men are short. A lot of them are tall as well. Okay, but a short is also what they are.

There's no medials. It's very rare that I've been. I can tell you right now there's no mediums. It's very rare that I've been in a romantic acting role with a person who is taller than me. Yeah. Most of them are. That's hot. All right, we have to take a break.

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Discover Coffee Plus on Nispresso.com. And we're back and it's time for a threacher. Scott, truer words were never spoken. It's threacher time. Threature time is where we play a game and the time to do it is now. And what happens is if you want to send us a game to play, a parlor game, a game you play in the car. Simply send it to us at FreedomUSA. at gmail.com.

That's email for you. It's so easy. It's so easy. So we got this one that was submitted by. the mysterious Marissa. Marissa. Wow, no last name, like Cher. This is called out of 10.

One player is the guesser, while remaining players agree on a number from one to 10. The guesser asks categories, the others answer with an item corresponding to the chosen number on a scale from 1 to 10, one being the worst,

10 being the best. The answers can be subjective and the personal opinion of the person answering. I tried to explain this game to the other day. Did you really? I still don't get at it. When?

on Mike? No, it was a game that I had like found on a blog. A web blog. Well, because it's this blog that I follow where they were talking about games play at the dinner table. And then this, all these people were commenting and I saw this one. This is, this is very interesting. I don't remember you saying this at all. Great.

Well, I think we all were like, huh? And then we were like, whatever. I don't quite understand it yet. We do need to, we do need to slow it down and explain it again. For example. If the number is 10. For example. And the guesser gives the category films, the person,

being asked your reply with a film they consider a 10 out of 10. Okay. After a few rounds, the guesser tries to guess the number. The number. Okay. So basically because we're going off of how we know each other, we're going to say, oh, because Scott, I know Scott loves that movie, he must have the number 10. Here's how we should score it, in my opinion.

You should, after we, after the two people who know the number give their things, the person should give their guess. and they get a point for each time they guess incorrectly and whoever has the lowest number at the end of this wins. Does that make sense? Why wouldn't you get a point for getting it correct? Because if it takes you four tries, how would we score that? I see. Okay, okay.

All right. So, Lauren and I will be the people. You're going to be the guesser. And Lauren and I will be the people. And we're going to text each other the number. Is that what's happening? So Lauren, I'm going to... And then do I come up at the category?

So just you and me texting each. Yeah. So I'll text you the number, okay. And I text you a number? No. Oh, it's the same number for, I got it. Okay, so we have our number. Paul, you can come up with a category. Let's say actors.

Actors in terms of how much we like them or? In terms of how much I think they're good. Well, I think this is what we think. It's what we think because. it's going off of our subjective things. So, like, we have a number. So I'm trying to guess, I'm trying to guess the number. You're trying to guess the number, yeah.

So, so when you say like, how hot actors are. I think it's a harder, like it should be more specific. Like attractive actors. And then we have a number. Yeah, I don't want to do that. I think it should be, it should be like a, like a different, not about, let's not judge a person. Okay. Just because I don't want to say under, what about their cellulite?

Good catch. Like Lorenzo Lomas. I don't know. Fucking so broad. Should we just do films? But I feel like you guys... Let's do films just to ease into it.

To let our beaks. I'm guessing the number. You're guessing the number. We're going to give you examples of what we think on a scale of one to ten these films are. Of how good they are. Okay. Okay. All right.

So then I throw out names of movies? No, no, no. We give you the name of the movie. Okay. According to the number. we picked. Oh, okay. And then you're trying to guess the number. Okay. Yeah. I think I had a different in my mind. Yeah, I have one. Okay. Okay. The sandlot. Don't, don't guess yet because Lauren's going to give you an answer. And then my answer is Batman and Robin. And now you guess the number

that we have agreed on of what we think on a scale of one to ten those films are. Okay. One. Incorrect. Well, you're insane. Now I don't know how to this game. Well, you've narrowed down one. But doesn't he get to guess again? Yeah. Well, we're, we give. Oh, now we do another category.

Okay. Yeah. Another category? No. Another example. Another film? Yes. Another film.

Scream four. Scream five. Four. Incorrect. All right. Fried green tomatoes. Um. Hmm.

I'm trying to think of any movie If ever say that Start at the beginning Start with You know wings Hold on I'm going to give any movies That rocket

The land before time Land before time Wait and yours is fried green tomatoes Yeah Two Incorrect You've guessed one Two and four

All right Do you guys know each other I'm Lauren I'm gonna say I'm going to say Jurassic World 2, whatever that one was. Okay. I'm going to say, I'm going to say an answer, which is going to sound like the words. Don't give away future seasons of newcomers.

I'm going to go with Mask of the Fantasm. Okay, Batman Mask of the Fantasm. I've said one. You've said two and you've said four. Three. Yes. You got it, Paul.

Okay, okay, okay, let's do it again. I want to do the category and you two do the number. Okay, Paul, do you want to text me the number? Yeah, I do. I do. Okay. This is exciting. What's our category going to be?

Well, I'm going to do a different category each time. So I can kind of try to get a different range of how we're getting the information. Okay. We have our number. Okay. Candy bar. Candy bar. Okay.

Heath. Score. One. Incorrect. Okay. Those both suck. Okay. It's my personal pine.

Okay. But they're not the worst thing. that you've ever had in your mouth. Well, it's disgusting. Yeah. I would say, okay, the next category is sitcoms.

Sitcoms. Um, sitcoms. Why are we now changing kind of? Because I want to have a range. She talks about she wants to be able to narrow it down. I want to be able to go, okay. Okay.

You see what I'm saying? We can go, we can, that was our practice room. We can go back to you at the end of the way of time. No, no, no, no, it's fine. I'm just seeing if I like this version. Yes, I understand. Okay, I'll go with, I'll go with, I'll go with, what I will go with is Archie Bunker's Place. I'm going to go with wings.

Two. Incorrect. Oh, my God. Okay. the next category is types of hats types of hats like the fedores that the members of

NSYN would wear I'm going to say I'm going to say just straight up the tuk the beanie five incorrect fuck this Well, because a beanie is very different from a fedora, but whatever.

Okay, so. Yeah. We're different people. I know. I know, I know. You would never, you would never wear one. You don't feel like you've been talking to one person this entire time. I do.

Wait, which would I never wear? A beanie. No, I wear them. I don't wear them out that much, but I wear them around the house. I get Ebenezer Scrooge nightcap. Okay. Very different, though. Although you didn't say Ebenezer Scrooge Nightcap.

That is a hat. I wear it like that. Mode of transportation. Okay. Tiny car. Rentable scooter. Three. Incorrect.

Here's a thing that I realized. It's a scale of one to ten. So there's still so much room for things to be just okay. Do we do one to five? No. No. You should get better at this. Okay.

My next category is... By the way, we're not telling you what you guessed anymore. So if you regess something... You asshole. That's on you. Okay. Vacation spot. Vacation spot.

I'll go with like... A ranch in Montana. I'll go with Palm Springs. Four. Incorrect. I hate this game. Are you sad you decide to come up with different categories? I'm sad that I...

You're here. Yeah, I'm going to say that, but I don't want to say it. Okay. Fast food restaurants. Okay. Carl's Jr. That's what I was going to say. So it's like a Carl's Jr.

And it's like a fedora. And it's like a Heath Bar. And it's like Montana. Ranch. According to us. Six. Yes. Correct. You got it. You got it. Those are all ones, babe. For you. I know. That's the subjective game. It's not about how well you know yourself.

I don't want to go to a ranch of Montana. Why not? I don't. What am I to do there? You don't know if it starts for Curly's gold. You left it there. Okay. Let's do it again. Find your smile. Let's do it again. So now whose turn is mine. So Lauren, you text the next. number to Paul. Please do it.

Please. Okay. Please. Looking for your name. Fucking for your name. Sorry. I'm opening the app. Looking for your name. I was lying. Looking for your name. Okay. Okay. High school classes. Like the actual periods?

Yeah. Like a course you would take in the high school. Okay. Yeah. English History Seven No Okay

Body parts on your body Fingers Eyes Eight No Okay I'm interested in your answer Me too

Musical instruments that you enjoy listening to Oh wow okay Um cello guitar nine yes yes you think your fingers are a nine

yeah I think eyes are number one what yeah eyes are a 10 eyes are a 10 eyes are a 10 so you would least want to lose your eyes than your fingers

I would not want to lose my fingers I was doing it based on judging yourself oh like what you're a body card like about yourself that's perfectly so it's like my eyes are not one of my top features. What's the, what beats it?

My ass. All right. That's going to do it for us. If you want to send us a threacher, you can do it at FreedomUSA at gmail.com. And you know what? You can also leave us a voice message, especially if you're Jonathan Libnicki. Yeah. Go to Hag Claims 8.

and leave us a voice message. If you would like to hear, us answer those. Us answer those is what I was going to say. Thank you, Scott. Those are our three-mium episodes. We do them every two weeks. Every two weeks.

They're little mini episodes where we answer your voicemail. You answer your voicemail. It prompts a conversation and we have fun. And we do those every couple of weeks on CBB World as well as at this Apple podcast thing thing you can subscribe to. I'm a podcast premium. Lemonada has all the details of that. Happy podcast premium.

Ask her. Yeah. And you can hear ad-free episodes at CBB World. And then also on Tuesday, if you want to hear, if you don't want to bother with CBB World, I understand that where all of our previous episodes are. We're all sensitive people. Yeah. We're all sensitive people.

What's that? We're so much to get. You can hear, we re-release our old episodes on Tuesdays. That's called three visiting on the Tuesdays. And you can hear those just if you are a subscriber to our. Just a regular. old dumb dumb. And then Paul and I are going to be in a couple of weeks. We're going to be on a tour with CBBs. Oh my God. That's bananas. I'm also on tour with Varietopia. What are the dates?

Do you want to say some dates? We don't want to say dates yet, but it's start. We don't want to jinx it. We might not get to go. Comedy Bang Bang Tour kicks off in earnest in a couple of weeks in June. And yes, Ernest will be there. Yes. Ernest goes to tour. Each city. We're filming an entire Erdus movie. Yeah. In every city. That's going to be exhausting. Don't you think we have one day to do it? I know. Well, that's the challenge. And then. we have to do the show at night. Yeah. God.

We're going to do some of it during the show. We shouldn't have agreed to do this. Well, wait, it was our idea. They're paying you $8 million. $8 million? $8 million? You get $8 million. Yep.

Special thanks to Jess McKenna. Yeah. We really appreciate hearing that. That was delightful. I always love when she sings. Honestly, I've made her do that before. That same song? Yeah.

Because I like it. All right. Should we have her play us out? Yeah. Sure. Why not? All right. And now to play us out.

What the fuck does that mean to play us out? Play us out. What are you talking to right now? Remember Bill O'Reilly? Oh, got it. He didn't know what play us out meant. What a weirdo. And he had a huge meltdown.

We'll do it live. All right. Here we go. So thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week. We love you. And thank you to C&H pure cane sugar. CNH.

CNH. My mom uses it to make her cakes. It makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy. They're Dan, Dan, Dandy. Island kids all love the cane. It grows so clean and sweet. They eat it when it's freshly cut, and then that's quite a treat.

Neat. Touched by sun, kissed by rain. CNH comes from the sugar cane. It makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy in the bright pink package. Bye!