Threedom - Threevisiting: There's Nothing But Death For You Here

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about the bible, getting tattoos, and listen to some voicemails! Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com.Leave us a voicemail aski...ng us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Lemonado. Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music. Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ-plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom. along the way. Listen now only on Amazon music included with Prime. I'm Hussein Minhaj and I have been lying to you. I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast, Hussein Minhaj doesn't know, to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask. People like Senator Elizabeth
Starting point is 00:01:01 Warren. Is America too dumb for democracy? Outrageous. Parenting expert, Dr. Becky. How do you skip consequences with you? without raising a psychopath. It's a good question. An astrophysicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson. I have never done drugs ever in my life. Okay. You must have them?
Starting point is 00:01:20 No. Okay. We'd love to have you. Listen to Hassam Minaj doesn't know from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! No, you're late. Oh, no, this is a disaster.
Starting point is 00:01:33 All right, got to get ready. Freedom. Freedom. This time, I'm absolutely going to nail it. Freedom. Paul, you're off your game. Boy, oh, boy. What happened to me today?
Starting point is 00:01:47 I don't know. What did you eat for lunch? In the last week since we've seen each other, I ate for lunch. Seven hot dogs? Seven hot dogs every day. 55 hamburgers. So we had 49 hot dogs. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Yeah. It's a lot of hot dogs. If you think about it, to eat? That's gross. To eat? No, to have around the house? Sure. It's a good amount.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Do you know what? It's a lot of hot dogs to just see. 49 hot dogs? I don't think I could fit 49 in my eyeballs. I would be like, I got to close these things. The fuck are you? Oh, you mean seeing them? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:23 I thought you meant trying to cram hot dogs into your eyeballs. I've tried to do that. Why? Because there's these little tiny cracks in your eyes that things can fit in if you try real hard. What are you talking about? This guy's crazy. Like the corners of your ear, let me poke you. No.
Starting point is 00:02:38 It's not a crack in my eye. Our eyes are so delicate and it's, freaky. Isn't it crazy that you're, they're just out there all the time. It's scary. It's like when I had that, uh, that speck of dust when I walked through the construction site and a speck of dust went into my eye and I had to wear that eye patch for like months. Oh, right. And then I remember like, somebody tried to pull that speck of dust out and they had a plank in their own eye. Yes. And you were like, you're a hypocrite. And it was Jesus Christ. Also, you know what? If you have a plank in your eye and you're trying to get a speck of dust. I know. And you're trying to get a speck of dust. I
Starting point is 00:03:12 out of somebody else's eye, I think you're being very nice. Yeah. It's a nice thing to do. I mean, like, I'm assuming he's at work. He's an ophthalmologist or something. Nobody wants a speck of dust in their eye. Do you think if... Is the idea, hold on a, Scott, I'm on a tear here.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Is the idea in the Bible that you're pulling the speck out of your neighbor's eye for aesthetic reasons that it just pleases you? This doesn't fit in with the HOA. Now, I don't personally know this story. It's not even a story. Have you ever read the Bible? No. Oh, you got it.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Not even part of it. I've read part of it when I was on a podcast that Dan Klein did where they read the Bible. That was the only part of the Bible you've ever read? Well, sure, I read passages here and there, I guess. Which passages? Time passages? I don't really know. I know you're up.
Starting point is 00:03:58 They are just out of sight. Like what? This is interesting to me as someone who didn't grow up religious. Yeah. It doesn't come up a lot that you have to read. Yeah, what occasion would. Like someone's wedding where they have a paper that has like a, like a thing in it or like a...
Starting point is 00:04:13 Without love, I am like a clanging gong. Yeah. Isn't that really? Yeah. And I mean, it just doesn't come up much at all, I would say, you know? It's funny how little the Bible comes up in your life if you are not actively trying to insert it in life. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Is the, okay, so Christianity, my theory on it is... Oh, no. Here we go. The worst part about it is the part where they... Because I remember just being at church and going like, hey, this is all cool. until like around 10 or something when the 10 p.m. Yeah. Suddenly the freaks would come out.
Starting point is 00:04:51 No, to church. The freaks come out at night to church. No, at like 10 years old, I remember one of the pastor saying, okay, it's not good enough that you are a Christian. Part of being a Christian is you have to go actively recruit all the time. And if you know anyone who's not a Christian, you have to convince them to be one or else you can't hang out with them anymore. It's okay not to do that.
Starting point is 00:05:22 I think it's normalize not doing that. That's like the root of all the problems in like religious behavior, I think, is the evangelizing part of it. How many people do you think that are, this is people are going to get mad if I say this? Uh-oh. But people that are that are true Christian. that actually are compassionate, loving people as opposed to just what feels like very American Christianity,
Starting point is 00:05:50 which is like just judgment. Yeah, we're right. That's what it seems like it all is. If you're not a Christian, you're a bad person. Like how many people do you think that are Christ-like Christians? I mean, not even Christ was like that
Starting point is 00:06:02 because he cursed that fig tree. No, he hated that fig tree. He was angry. And he was angry. It's the first recorded instance. of hangar. Oh. He should have coined the term.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Do you know the story? Um, no. This one I don't know. He's walking down the street just the other day. Okay. He's hungry. He goes to a fig tree. I think this is at a point where he's like,
Starting point is 00:06:27 he's over the whole thing. I think I'm going to be crucified. Yeah. Okay. So it's not going well. It's kind of sinking into what this whole plan is. He's like 32 and a half. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:36 And so he's in the middle. I feel like in this, this is my hazy recollection of this. He's in the, middle of giving some lesson about something. He's full of righteous anger. And then he's hungry. He wants to get a fig from this fig tree. Fig tree doesn't have any figs on it.
Starting point is 00:06:52 So he fucking curses it to wither and never bear fruit again. And I think the fig tree is a metaphor for a woman. Wow. How did you think of that? Christ was the first insult. I'm staying out of this one.
Starting point is 00:07:11 You're saying out of it. because we have, I know. I simply don't know. Well, I know we have religious listeners. And I think religion's fine if you want to do it. And just keep it to yourself. That's my tip on religion. But it is, you know, of course the,
Starting point is 00:07:26 the thing is you're trying to, the idea is you're trying to save people by converting them to Christianity. Yeah. Here it is, the parable of the barren fig tree. Not to be confused with the parable of the budding fig tree. Honestly, two fig related. But I wouldn't get confused because they have very different abilities.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah. Wait a minute. This is a parable and not that Jesus did it himself? Oh, does he? Oh, he talks about it as if someone else did it? A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard. Then he came looking for fruit on her found none. So he said to the gardener, see here for three years.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I've come looking for fruit. See here. I don't think he said that. I've come looking for fruit in this fig tree and still I find none. Cut it down. Why should be wasting the soil? He replied, sir, let it alone for one more year until I dig around it and put manure on it. The word manure is in the Bible?
Starting point is 00:08:20 I just don't believe he said any of the stuff that you're saying. It feels kind of like bullshit. This sounds like the one about the budding fig tree. Yeah, because that one I know really well. Jesus. Look, when I just put up Jesus curse, it auto completes to the fig tree. So. You read it.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Okay, I will. Here we go. This is from Mark 11, 12 through 25. Thank you, Mark. The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was... Bye, Bethany. Bye, bitch. Is it written in a sarcastic tone? I think so, yeah. Okay, the way you're reading it. All in italics. Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves because it was not the season for figs. Well, that makes it worse. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:13 It's not even the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, may no one ever eat fruit from you again. And his, and guess what? His disciples heard him say it. He said it to the tree. But people heard him. Stupid tree.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Yeah, like he was like, may no one bear fruit. Everyone's like, what? No, nothing. Okay, I feel like you said something. Did you hear what he said? Did you hear what Jesus said? He cursed that tree.
Starting point is 00:09:46 It's an inanimate object. It's just a tree, dude. Get over it. It's not even fixed season. What did you expect? What do you think? This alone, I think, invalidates Christ as worthy of founding a religion upon. Yeah, and I would say they talk about how he's never sinned.
Starting point is 00:10:07 That's a sin. I think that's a sin. That counts. Wrath. Yeah. If that's not wrath, what is? What is wrath? Cursing someone is a sin?
Starting point is 00:10:17 I mean, just do, like, not getting, not getting, not getting, I'm just wondering. I'm just asking questions. Not getting what you want. Not getting what you want for no fault of the other thing. And then, and then enacting consequences because you didn't get what you wanted. That is a sin. Because you were actually. without the proper information, that's on you.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And by the way, fig trees are not just there to give everyone figs all the time. No. No. Although, did people own trees back then? No, you weren't allowed. Yeah. Render them to Caesar. What is Caesar's.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Caesar owned the trees. Okay. Caesar owned the trees. Caesar made the salad. That was a commercial from when I was a kid. You had these kid commercials. Who made the salad? Caesar made the salad.
Starting point is 00:11:05 I had a great Caesar salad yesterday. Oh, my God. Tell us every. A good seizure salad is really good. You know, it really is. And when it's really mixed, you know, the dressings really tossed. It's almost like every single segment has dressing on it.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Do you like the chovs? Do I like a chode? Do you like a chode? Antchovies, you know what? I never would notice or complain if they're in there. It's not the kind of thing that I'm really worried about. I never think about it. If they're like finally
Starting point is 00:11:34 chopped up. If it's tiny, tiny, tiny. I'm fine with it. I always stayed away from them because they look like worms. Oh, no, I don't eat that. But then I don't think it's coming up very often. When I worked at, of course, Cafe Cordial, they made little slugs? They made them with the full anchovies in there. And they were delicious.
Starting point is 00:11:52 And so I said, you know what, this is good. But Paul's in disbelief that that hasn't really come up for me. But I don't know that it's served that way that much. I'm in disbelief. Yeah. You looked at me with. Don't curse her. It's beyond.
Starting point is 00:12:02 It's beyond belief factor fission. No, uh-uh. Didn't happen. Wrong. False. I think they I want to memorize that whole Supercut
Starting point is 00:12:13 Yeah What is it? It's a supercut of Jonathan Frakes Hosting We did talk about this a couple episodes Yeah I want to memorize it So I can do the entire thing
Starting point is 00:12:22 You should because it's really funny How long is it? It's 15 minutes long How long do you think you could do right now? 17 minutes You could do more? I can do 18 minutes I can add a couple more
Starting point is 00:12:33 How much of pie could you recognize? How much of pie could you recognize? How much of pie could you memorize if you had to? If you had to. You had to gun to your head? 3.14 the end. That's it.
Starting point is 00:12:47 That's all I know. It should end there. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, what are we doing, guys? But it doesn't, you know. By the way, what do we get out of pie? What is that for?
Starting point is 00:12:57 It doesn't, there's no purpose for it. What is it exactly? It's got its own symbol and shit. Radius. It's like, hey, point dexter. I'm okay. here just saying three or four. I don't need something in between.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Why did that one character on season two of the wire have it tattooed on the back of his neck? He did? Never seen that. So when people were having sex with him. Escobar. I almost said Pablo Escobar. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:13:25 Pablo Omar. He is the brother of another famous actor. What? Tom Cruise. You know how he said? Pablo Cruz. Wait, there is a Pablo. There is.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yeah, the band. I can't believe I'm playing on his last name. And now trying to place his more famous brother. And I can't remember his name. Pablo Wire character. Thank you. That should get it. That should get you right there.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Nick Sobotka. Nick Zobotka. Played by? Played by. Pablo Schreiber. Shriver. Shriver. Shreiber!
Starting point is 00:14:04 Oh, I worked with him on Orange is the New Black. But I've never seen the wire. I worked with him on. Oh, yeah, he is in Orange's the New Black. You worked with him on what now? I worked with him on a independent film. And it was a brief scene where I was, it was a brief nudity where I showed my penis for one second.
Starting point is 00:14:29 But people could freeze on it. No, it was unfreezeable. That was in my contract. Okay. Like Ben Affleck and Gone Girl? Like he should have put that in his contract. But nope. Kevin Bacon and wild things.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Bruce Willis in the color of night. The three major penises in the cinema. Ted Danson and three men and a little eight. I don't remember that. What? You don't remember seeing Ted Dancin's dick and three men and a little lady? Yeah, I'd be there for a second. Steve Goodberg walks in on him in the bathtub.
Starting point is 00:15:01 It's just casual. Like a periscope. They're just hanging out chatting. Yeah. It's not like a sexy scene. It's just, yeah. And then Ted Denson starts just like playing with the bubbles and you briefly see his penis.
Starting point is 00:15:16 So he reveals it. What the fuck? What were we talking? You worked with this guy. So I played a James Lipton type interviewer who was interviewing his character who was a famous actor. And it was fun. That's fun. I also interviewed him.
Starting point is 00:15:32 for that show Speakeasy that I used to do. And at the end, I accidentally called him. We have Schreiber. Wow. Oh, no. What did he say? Mortifying. I don't like mix that up at all.
Starting point is 00:15:43 He was, of course, he was not pleased about that. Oh. And thankfully, the editors left it in. Oh, good for that. Like, that didn't need to be in there. What? What? It never occurred to me that I would have to say, oh, by the way, cut out the part
Starting point is 00:15:58 where I called the guest the wrong name. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's so annoying. They also, I wanted to pick. that as a TV show and the editors put together a reel that did not include me in it. It was just all the guests. What?
Starting point is 00:16:10 It's like, guests can be on anything. Yeah, they already are. I don't get that. Yeah. I didn't get it either. Neal's to say nothing to happen. All right. But wait, so in the wire, he plays this blue collar dude.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Doc worker guy, right? Yes. And he has a... He's the cousin of Ziggy Sabatka, the wayward and rebellious son of Nick's Uncle Frank Sabot. That's exactly correct. Okay. Maybe he'll watch this someday and it'll all make sense. You've never seen The Wire.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Oh my God. You have to watch the Wire. Omar! Umar! Newcomers The Wire. Guy, can you imagine having to watch every, I mean, it's a great show. It's like eight seasons or something. What if you watch one episode every season?
Starting point is 00:16:52 Yeah, we just like figure, we get it. Why do people like this? I think it's if I don't get that one. If I remember it's four seasons of third, four seasons of 10 or 13 and then the fifth season. season is like six or eight. It's too many. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Yeah. But he has the pie symbol tattooed in the back of his neck. Is it actually on his body though? And maybe... That's a good question. And I don't know. But either way, if it's actually on his body, cover that shit up. Why would that character have that?
Starting point is 00:17:18 The actor has it? Maybe. That's what I'm saying. Well, I'm going to look up Pablo Streiber tattoo. Do none of us have tattoos? I think we're the only tattooless podcast. Yeah. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:17:32 only tattooless podcast. That's pretty wild. Wait, Stay of Homekins is also a tattooless podcast. Okay. What about, I mean, I don't know. Add DeCard is not.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Bitch Sush. Do we know if Casey and Danielle have tattoos? Good question, and I don't know. Hold on, hold on. There's a Reddit thread. About how we don't have tattoos. Halfway through season three,
Starting point is 00:17:58 why is everyone so obsessed with that? Wondering why Nick in season two has a pie tattoo on the back of his neck. There you go. Oh my God, it's just deeper and deeper. And then a bunch of people
Starting point is 00:18:07 just surmising things. I think it's because this tiny minuscule detail is probably my biggest gripe with season two. Oh no, I sound like that person. I cannot, for the life of me,
Starting point is 00:18:19 imagine a reason why Nick Sabatka would ever have a tattoo like this. Anyone know how hard it is to cover tattoos? Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Stop freaking out.
Starting point is 00:18:31 But now we don't, We don't know if it's the character's tattoo or the actor's tattoo. We don't know. I don't know that we'll ever know. Well, why don't you look up actor name? I did. Plus tattoos? And that's what came up.
Starting point is 00:18:42 And then I looked at one thing and then I stopped. Well, then there was another picture of like him in another role where he had like tattoos all over his body. I was like, I'm not sifting through all this shit. Well, this is really hard to figure out. Yeah. I'll figure out. You guys talk to each other and let me have a moment of peace while I. I don't know what to say.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Hi, Lauren. How are you? I'm fine. How are you? It's very hot out. It's really hot out and it's disgusting. It sucks. Dick right now.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Oh, my God. Look, Paul, we're really having a hard time without you. Come on, Paul. Get back here. We need you, Paul. Okay. Scott, will you ever go horseback riding again? I really enjoyed it when I did it last.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Last time we did it, oh, no, no. The last time we did it was that, yeah, so yeah, I would. Yeah. Yeah, at the wine tasting thing where I hurt my ankle. Right. But it wasn't from the horse. No, no. I told the story like it was going to be from the horse and it was me stepping in a hole.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Yes, yes, yes. Would you ever go horseback riding? I haven't been horseback riding in many, many years, probably since I was 14, but I recently saw some pals on Instagram were on the trail in Griffith Park. So it was really fun, and then we were talking about going. I would be interested. I'm a little nervous because I... Those trails in Griffith Park?
Starting point is 00:19:59 I mean, you know, I've hiked up them and stuff like that. It feels like a horse goes... But do horses go on those like... Yeah, like when you're hiking, sometimes you'll have to get out of the way for the horse. Oh, I don't want to do that at all. Or if there's like a drop off? Yeah, that's what I mean. I want to go on the baby trail.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Like a rattlesnake comes up, the horse goes, whee-hoo! And you fall to your death. I don't want to go on that. I wonder how many people have died that way on Griffith Park horses. I think a thousand a day. Okay. It's worse than the COVID vaccine. I've said this before and I'll say it again.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Horses are so fucking big. Why are they so scared of... of things that are so much smaller than they are. I know, just step on it. Just step on it or walk away. Yeah, just be the bigger horse. Maybe they know it's poisonous. The rattle is there so that you leave.
Starting point is 00:20:42 The rattle's like, hey, I can't control myself. Maybe all horses have been bitten by a rattlesnake once in their life, and that's why they freak out. They're like, oh, not this again. Fuck! That makes a lot of sense. What did you find out of home? Pablo Schreiber is a skilled Canadian American entertainer.
Starting point is 00:20:58 The cast of Candy is most popular for his depiction of Nick Sabaka on the Wire. Also, the entertainer showed up in Law & Order Special Victims Unit and American Gods. Schreiber got a primetime Emmy assignment for outstanding guest actor in a drama series for his job in Orange is the New Black. A assignment. Pablo has likewise been a piece of Broadway shows and his presentation made up a chosen one for a Tony Award. Does Pablo Schreiber have any tattoos end their meaning? Candy actor explored Pablo Schreiber allegedly has no tattoos right now. He has no tattoos that could uncover a specific significance.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Shriver has a decent constitution and frequently share shirtless pictures on a few web-based entertainment accounts. Oh, good. Notwithstanding, no tattoos have been seen till now. To now? Pablo has additionally never discussed needing tattoos in the future. Needing them? With the media yet. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:48 We are additionally not certain about how- He's discussed it at home. We are additionally not certain about how affectionate Pablo is of tattoos. In any case, the entertainer has of late featured in the Hulu unique TV series named Candy. The show includes a genuine wrongdoing miniseries that recounts the narrative of Candy Montgomery. The show has been eagerly awaited
Starting point is 00:22:07 and the fans can hardly hold back to watch the show. The show will deliver on the 13th of May 2022, a progression of genuine occasions and live in the plot of the show. Shriver is featured close by a few well-known entertainers in this show. Up until this point, the show's trailer has been delivered, and it has previously figured out
Starting point is 00:22:25 how to get the notice of many individuals. The trailers figured out. Meet Pablo Schreiber New Girlfriend on Instagram. Pablo Schreiber seems, by all accounts, to be single all the present time. Nonetheless, he was recently hitched to Jeskamante. They have two youngsters together. Oh, they single all the time, other than that.
Starting point is 00:22:43 That wasstanding, there is talk that Pablo separated from a significant other and has been single for quite a while. According to his web-based entertainment, the entertainer appears to be single right now. He has not posted an image with somebody who could be his soulmate. I have this image of someone who could be myself. Shriver frequently posts pictures with his companions and his two children on his virtual entertainment accounts. Pablo Shriver.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Virtual entertainment accounts. Yeah, like Instagram. Pablo Shriver Networth, Explore Pablo Shriver's assessed total assets is $4 million as per the sun. The entertainer has been essential for a few exceptionally big ventures in his profession. $4 million. God, damn it, really goes. Oh, wait, this is the last paragraph. Schreiber is exceptionally capable and has been in media outlets for quite a while now.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Considering his fruitful acting vocation, it isn't stunning that Pablo has aggregated a powerful amount of cash all through his profession. Pablo is, by all accounts, living serenely with his vocation income. Wow. It's hard to believe that AI is putting us out of business. I'm so glad he can live serenely. Yeah, I'd love that. That's really nice for him. With my vocation income, I would love to live serenely.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I know, I know, but it doesn't always work that way. These people thinking like He wouldn't get a pie tattoo Like his character wouldn't why Because he's a stupid doc worker Like stupid people get dumb tattoos And stuff all the time It's not that he's stupid
Starting point is 00:24:03 It's that there's nothing in the character He doesn't talk about pie Is his birthday March 14th Now that would make sense to me What if he says to this in his first episode You know my birthday March 14th And no one has put it together You know my birthday
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Starting point is 00:28:15 Taxes and fees extra, see MintMobile for details. And we're back. And have you, Lauren, have you ever, thought about getting a tattoo? I recently sort of had the urge, like a couple weeks ago. I was like thinking about that randomly. And I was like, but I really still, I really don't know what it would be. And I really feel like I have to really like whatever it is because I could see myself.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Because you wanted it like, like, aesthetically somewhere. And you were like, oh, it would be cool to have something there. Yeah, but I'm not even in a spot. It was more just I sort of understood people getting them more. And not that I don't understand it. But I mean, for me, it's always been like, I need to have a very specific thing. Right. Other people are more, like, indiscriminate about what they get.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I think that's also cool. And I think once you get one, you're more open to getting a bunch and it's less like a big deal. But I think it would have to be very finely drawn and I think it would have to be small. And I have to really like it. What about the dog that looks like a cartoon character? I should get that. Like an artist rendering. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I should get that. I really wish I could see that dog. Yeah. It didn't look good. It looked like if you turned it around its brain and be like, blah, like. You draw it? Yeah, draw it for us.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Okay. Do you guys have any again? Let me that funny looking dog. And then he turned around his brain is just fully exposed. All falling out. Slide. I've never, I've never seriously thought about getting a tattoo. Probably the most I thought I ever gave it was when I was in my 20s and started to know
Starting point is 00:29:49 people who had tons of tattoos and thinking about what would it be. But I never, there was. never any image that I could ever generate that was like, yes, that's it. Yeah. I think growing up, it was, it's so strange because I think growing up in a religious household, there are things that the Bible doesn't talk about that just my household considered to be sins or whatever. And so getting a tattoo was like, I don't know whether it was considered a sin or something
Starting point is 00:30:21 that you just shouldn't do. It was something that sinful people did. Yeah. Against it. My parents were like, or my mom was always like, you don't ever get a tattoo. Right. I remember when I got my- It was probably protecting us from getting teenage things or something, but I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Maybe not. And there, one of the people at our church had one. He had an anchor, I believe, on his arm. Classic. Classic. And it was always like, anytime he would be in Chertsley, it would be like, oh, my God, he has a tattoo. And my parents explained it away of like, oh, he was in the Navy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Look at his gigantic forearms. His leg's a really big. too. Why is he wearing that that guy named Brutus all the time? Brutus. Oh wow. Oh my God. That is a great picture. I love it. Now that's a tattoo. You should get a tattoo of that. Put it on
Starting point is 00:31:07 three, put on the three dumb page when this episode comes up. I'll send it to you. There is also the thing of people that there's so few people that have one tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it used to be like when you were in the Navy or something. You'd get one to be like, hey, I'm in this group or whatever. Oh my God. When I was doing my I'm still in my Doctor Who, I'm still in my Doctor Who rewatched.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Doctor Who. How are you putting that in with Vanderpump? I watched it on the plane. So it's a solo mission. I watch it at the gym. It's a solo mission. Yeah. And then when I, we call it going to work.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Jay and I's like, well, we got to get back to work. We turn off Vanderpumpump. Punch the clock. We're in season five now. We just passed the New Orleans episodes, legendary time in the show's history. But the third doctor. It's so funny that we watch so much reality.
Starting point is 00:31:53 and yet you picked a show that neither of us have seen. I know, it's kind of strange. I mean, I've seen the recent season. That's a Bitcoin. That's a Bitcoin. So that's all in it. So I know the people he's talking about. You know what the scandal all is.
Starting point is 00:32:06 And don't tell me. And I have seen clips from the past of things happening, but I have just vague notions of what actually. It's like black and white, but then there's one thing in color. Yeah, yeah. That's what they do their flashback. So the third doctor, his first episode,
Starting point is 00:32:22 a man named John Pertew. he was the actor, who was in World War II. And his first episode has a scene where he is trying to hide from some people. So he takes off his clothes and he gets in a shower in this locker room. And you see like... That's how I like to hide from people to do. It's fucking great. He puts on a shower cap.
Starting point is 00:32:43 And he's like singing a song. Yeah. Like scrubbing in the shower. Like if you were running away, you wouldn't be the person doing that. I mean, they're not chasing him. They're just looking for him. Okay. So, but you see, the guy we were looking for had clothes on.
Starting point is 00:32:56 You see, not only does he have, does he have like, take a shower with him. He has like a tattoo on his arm. Right. Because he was in the, I think he was in like the merchant marines or something. Right. But you also see like kind of his upper ass. Like you see his tan line and like the white of his. What episode is this?
Starting point is 00:33:10 I got to check this out. Time stamp. It's so weird. It's very, very weird. That is weird. Is there Wiki ass? What year is that? There is Wiki ass, of course.
Starting point is 00:33:19 This was the late 60s. Yeah, that feels pretty shocking. Yeah. And they never explained the tattoo away of like, oh, the doctor got a tattoo. Or was he regenerated? He regenerated. And he was a what? I got a tattoo.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Can you imagine? You get a whole new body and there's a tattoo already on there? Isn't that doctor ever regenerated as a baby? And then, and then like 30 years later we catch up with him and he's whoever he is. So he had to live a whole life. A show starring a toddler. I would not mind that. But it's just doing normal toddler stuff.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Okay. I'll do it. just waiting for him to grow up so he saves the world. It actually is a good Doctor Who episode is like he regenerates and he's a baby and it's like, oh no. He did one time become so old that he became a tiny little creature.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Is there really no episode where he's a baby? No. That feels like. That feels like, come on, what are we doing guys? But there's like eight billion episodes. I just feels like they would have eventually gotten there. I think we have seen him in flashbacks as a child or they, I should say, as a child. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:19 But I don't think as a baby, maybe not. Well, yeah, the original, well, anyway, we're getting way in the week. But so the different doctors all represent one person. Yeah, but every time. The same person. Same person. Yeah. Every time they die.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Oh, I thought it was just like, we're retelling the story with a woman now. And it's this. No. It's like a clever thing where like the first doctor who had to bolt. And so they were like, we don't want to end the show, right? And so. Yeah, he was getting a little too frail to do the show anymore. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:49 So they came up with the idea of regenerative. which is that he'll be the same character, but he'll just look different. Yeah. And so, and it's a genius, although they set a number on it, that seemed unobtainable at the time. It was like 14 or something like 12.
Starting point is 00:35:03 12. Yeah, they're like, well, it's never going to. Never going to reach 12. 12. Yeah. And they passed 12 already and had to justify it. Yeah. But yeah, it's a very,
Starting point is 00:35:12 and in fact, when Reggie left Comedy Bang, bang, we were considering having him regenerate into whoever the new person was. But we like that. the episode we came up with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad. You don't have regrets about it.
Starting point is 00:35:25 I don't, not that episode. No regrets. And then do you have a tattoo you want to get? No, I, so I just, I, I also think that, okay, growing up in the 80s, I also feel like the Nancy Reagan thing of like, just say no, people make fun of it. But I also think it kind of worked in a way because, like, people would offer me drugs, I'd be like, oh, no, thanks, you know? And it's like, instead of ever getting guilted into it, it was like, no. Yeah. And so.
Starting point is 00:35:50 I couldn't it be just. just say no thank you. I know. Yeah, a little bit of manners never hurt. Say no bitch. People are trying to like, people are always trying to destroy your life. Sometimes they're like,
Starting point is 00:36:00 they're like to have fun like me. Yeah, they're just trying to give you a good time. Yeah. Really. But yeah, so I never. Throat goat. I never even throat coat. Did you guys miss this?
Starting point is 00:36:10 Throat goat. No. What about her? She used throat coat. Throat goat. She was the goat of all throats. She was great. She was like legendarily.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Oh, that's right. Yes. Oh, I did hear that. I've never heard her. The throat goat. Referred to his throat goat. Dude, that's so wild. I can't believe I'm saying this to you.
Starting point is 00:36:36 The term goat wasn't popularized until L.L. Cool J. popularized. No, they didn't call her that back then. Oh. Oh, okay. She's a throat goat. No, because she would like, she was a really good at. Greatest of all times.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Got to get a blowup from Betsy Wiggins. She's your blowtow to show his ending going, bha-ha-ha-ha. I'm not going to lie, that would freak me out. How about another throat goat? Wow. Wow. Why I make that noise after? Do you think, oh, no, he never got one from her.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Do you think? Jimmy Stewart? Oh, yeah, aye. Hey. He would probably sooner get one from Ronald Reagan than from Nancy Reagan. Remember his poem? I used to love Jimmy Stewart. I was an old cowboy.
Starting point is 00:37:19 What was this poem? It was the tripping on the 96th step or whatever. No. Okay, let me read it up. So I used to love Jimmy Stewart movies. Okay. Not fucking Jimmy Stewart himself. I wasn't in love with him.
Starting point is 00:37:34 I was normal. I wasn't obsessed. I didn't write letters to him. I did not show up at his house. Okay. But, uh, but, uh, but, you know, my parents constantly trying to, uh, figure out, you know, gifts for me that were thoughtful. And I feel bad because like, who knows?
Starting point is 00:37:51 what I was into at any particular time. Sure, very hard to do that. So, but... How about the one of the guy blinking? Oh, gifts with a tea. I thought you were talking about a specific Jimmy Stewart poem. Like this guy who could... Blinking twice.
Starting point is 00:38:08 He stared into the sun. So they got me this book that I'm looking at right now, Jimmy Stewart and his poems. And I'm just like, I don't give a fuck about this guy's poetry. Jimmy Stewart and his poems. The top. Stop in the hotel in June and is mean. Like the devil is mean.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Jesus. That's mean. I guess, yeah, it's like a step that he would. And he would read it on Carson all the time and it would be like. The same poem? I don't know. Probably. You want to hear it again?
Starting point is 00:38:37 He would definitely read different poems because I'm looking at videos now. Well, this time I will read like Dracula. How about that? I want to stop instead. Okay, Jimmy Stewart doing Dracula. Go. Yeah. Good.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Evening. I want to suck your blood. I don't drink vine. Oh, I'm a bat. Lauren, join us. Come on, Lauren. Join us on the episode. Have fun.
Starting point is 00:39:03 I've only really seen it's a wonderful life. It's a wonderful life. Yeah. That's, I mean, that's his best movie. What if there are vampires in that? There probably are. I mean, okay, so he goes to that. This is interesting.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Go on. He goes to that dance at night with all the kids who are like. We are. Now, do you think vampires are real? Yeah. Like you? In a crowd scene in a movie? 10% of the population.
Starting point is 00:39:28 There's probably vampires. Okay. What's more realistic to you? Aliens are vampires? More realistic? Like, what's more likely to be something we're going to encounter? Okay. I would say aliens are more realistic, although I'm not necessarily in the camp these days who are like,
Starting point is 00:39:41 oh yeah, all these whistleblowers are telling the truth. I think like they're all insane. But you think they're insane? The government? I think that's real. Okay. You think the government's insane. So I think aliens are more real than vampires.
Starting point is 00:39:59 I don't think there's any evidence of any vampires. I don't think there's any. I don't think there's any vampires. Jane and I were talking about the aliens last night. And she thinks, she's thinking like, I'm, she was saying, I'm starting to think they're actually going to come. Like they're actually going to be. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:16 And I said, I welcome them. either way. Either they're going to come and save us from ourselves or they're going to come and obliterate us. Isn't that saving us from ourselves? In a way. I will tell the aliens what I tell ants when they come into my house. There's nothing but death for you here. That's what you say to ants.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Give your aunt telepathy to all your aunt friends. There's nothing but death for you. You leave one alive and say, go tell the others. Yeah. I feel like the alien. thing is sort of like the rapture. We're all like, oh, it's going to come. It's going to come.
Starting point is 00:40:56 We're all going to die and it'll never happen. Okay. But it might happen after we die. Oh, no. And then they get here and they're like, oh, we've been to do it. Everyone dies. We're going to learn. It's God.
Starting point is 00:41:06 We're listening to freedom. All the good ones. I can't believe your lifespan is only a hundred years here. Do you think there will be an episode of freedom on the golden record that they play for aliens? Yeah, they keep updating it, right? Yeah. They keep calling it back. And they put like long stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Like it's like a long hour of just us bullshitting. Yeah. Originally it was just stuff like lose yourself. It's all Eminem. Ding, ding. It's, I think it's 90% Eminem.
Starting point is 00:41:32 And the real time with Gilmar theme. And stuff about Eminem's. And stuff about Eminem. Which is why our episode will be up there. Yeah. Our taste test episode. That's right. Yep.
Starting point is 00:41:41 It's on theme. It is on. It's on flea. They need to be explained like if the flavors are good. So when they get here, they don't waste their time, trying every flavor. If we have done that as a service to the aliens, I'm proud. Do you think it was a waste of our time to try every flavor?
Starting point is 00:41:55 I enjoyed it. I think that was one of the best uses of time that we've ever had. Absolutely. I feel like we need to do more because there are a lot more flavors we didn't get to. They keep making them. Yeah. What was the flavor that we all texted each other? And we were like, whoa, look at this.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Blood of Christ? Yes. Was it cut candy or something? I don't remember. I don't remember. But we should definitely go seek that out. Yeah. What if we went to Japan?
Starting point is 00:42:18 because they have even more flavors over there. Like together as a family? Do they do a lot of Eminem's? They have a lot of KitKats. They have a lot of KitKats. They must have a lot of Eminem's, right? I don't remember seeing M&Ms. I don't know about Eminems.
Starting point is 00:42:29 I don't know about Eminem's. I love that. But we could just go to like little Tokyo and like get some kick cats. We could go to little make KitKat flavors. Can we look at our calendars? We're all going to go together. Oh, to figure out of time when we go to Japan?
Starting point is 00:42:44 Sure. Yeah, let's look at our calendars right now. Little Tokyo. Little Tokyo. How many kid cats do you have here? Okay, so what about tomorrow? No. Bad for me.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Bad for you? Yeah. Okay, what about the next day? This whole week's pretty rough. Yeah. Okay, we'll go to next week. What about Labor Day? Maybe.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Let's say maybe. Maybe on Labor Day? No, maybe. You know what? Wait, what are we trying to get? I don't know. We just said we would go to a little Tokyo together. Yeah, let's just say maybe on Labor Day.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Say maybe on Labor. Maybe on Beaver Maybe on Beaver Savion Glover Savian Beaver Savian Glover right Probably I don't think it's ever come up
Starting point is 00:43:30 in conversation to me I don't think anyone's ever mentioned him to me Well I'm proud to be the first Yeah that's great The famous Ted Denzer Savian The famous Ted Denzen penis He has a famous
Starting point is 00:43:42 Oh his yeah He does have a penis Yeah He's a famous penis Well yeah Yeah, we know that now. I'm only free on Labor Day. I just can't determine that at this time, but yeah, I mean, sure.
Starting point is 00:43:58 7 a.m.? Yeah, we'll go at 7 a.m. That'll be really great. 7 a.m. Let's do it. Let's do it. We just roll in a little Tokyo 7 a.m. Where are your Eminemes?
Starting point is 00:44:11 What kind of candies do you have here? Where are the funny M&Ms? They're so funny. Isn't it funny how the different things are funny? Yeah. It's kind of funny. Funny equals different. You're a simple man.
Starting point is 00:44:27 I'm a simple man. Funny equals different. Different equals funny. And different equals funny. If I see four things that are the same and a fifth one is just different, I think that's hilarious. All right. We have to take a break. I have crossed the oceans of time to find you.
Starting point is 00:44:42 There's nothing but death for you here on this earth. Aliads. Oh man, if Jimmy Stewart was in Independence Day, welcome to Earth. Welcome back. It's still freedom
Starting point is 00:45:03 and you're still you. And guess what? It's time to listen to voicemails. You leave them. We listen to them. Yes. That's the deal.
Starting point is 00:45:12 If you would like to send us if you would like to leave us a voicemail, don't send us one. Leave us one. Just leave us one. Leave a voicemail. You have to take one away from us. You take one from us.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You take it off our plate. and you answer it. If you would like to call us, you can of course call us at Hague Claims 8. It's great. All right. This is from, well, I'll let him say who. Who he is. Well, I'll let him tell you.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Hi, guys. President Trump, I'm one of your piziest little piggyes. I really love your show. But my question is, what is the most dangerous thing you have either done or been a part of? When I was 14, I got a pick. pitchfork stuck in my leg when I worked on the devil. It was a big, rusty metal pitchfork, and I used to have to get cuttips stuck in the hole to make sure that it was healing.
Starting point is 00:46:05 It was fun time. Anyways, have a great day, guys. Thanks, Ben. I'm assuming that's Ben Solo. I feel like that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise known as Kylo Ren.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm deeply familiar with that. Stupidest thing you were done like that, like that kind of thing? Or like most dangerous. Stupidest. Ben, you heard it.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Lauren is calling you stupid. Most dangerous thing. If you stick cut tips in the holes, they're not going to heal up, stupid. Oh my God. Or else like that's the hose again. Most dangerous thing. God, I'm sure there's many. I just have to think about it.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Well, I know I've told this story before, but one time I was trying to assemble an IKEA case, a bookcase. And of course I did it wrong the first time. Did it fall on you like Howard's End? What? I don't remember that. Howard's end? Isn't that how the whole climax in the movie, not to give spoilers
Starting point is 00:46:56 for Howard's End, but they're in how... Oh, I've never seen it. Oh, it's so good. Paul, you've never seen Howard's End? I've never seen Howard's End. I just know the story, but I didn't know about a bookcase. Oh my God, Howard's End is so good. That's less shocking too. We've kind of seen it because of the inheritance. Yeah, we all saw the inheritance.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Lawrence and Aquarius. I love the inheritance. Yeah. Although we were, you know what? We were talking the other day, Paul. You were in character. saying that plays that were split up and took all day should be illegal. And then the first thing that pops in my head was, did he not like the inheritance? I forget.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Oh, because it was all day, right? Yeah, Andrew Lloyd-Wilber said that. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, of course, he wouldn't like that. Yes, of course. Anyway. But I was in my, this is, I was in my 30s, so this is not good. 39?
Starting point is 00:47:45 No, not quite there. Okay. But I, in order to dig out, one of those little wooden dowels, one of those little wooden pegs that you always have either too many of or not enough of. I used a Swiss Army knife
Starting point is 00:48:00 and somehow had it in a position where the Swiss Army knife snapped closed on my finger. Ouch! And I looked at it, I looked at the blade like embedded in my finger like it was happening to someone else.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Yeah. It was so weird to see. Yeah. And then it gushed the blood to so much blood. That actually reminds me of when I was little and I was playing with a stapler and stapled a staple through my finger, like the whole way. Oh. And then I was like showing my dad like, and he pulled it out.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Well, that's good. Yeah, but it was still. Did you go to the hospital? What if you've shown that to your dad? He went, sucks to be you. Yeah. Yeah. My dad's pretty, um, pretty confident in the face of things like that.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Like, calm and collected. Yeah. What was like the weird creature that was in your house that he just grabbed? Oh my God. It was a huge... It was a gremlin. No, like, that was more recently. It was like a huge flying bug.
Starting point is 00:48:56 It was like a roach or something crazy. It was like inches long. Like a pummelito bug. And we went out to lunch and then he's like, I shouldn't tell you this, but I saw a huge roach in your house. And I was like, or whatever it was. Some beetle or something. It was gigantic.
Starting point is 00:49:09 He's about I know where it went. He said, I don't know where it went. I'm like, why did you tell me that? And then we were watching TV and it was crawling by my head on the couch. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be in Lauren's head. He just stood up and grinned. grabbed it with his hand and opened the door and threw it outside.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I was just like... I wish I could do that, honestly. It was awesome. Bugs give me the creeps, but I will deal with them, but I will not, not to the point where I will grab one with my hand. Yeah. Although, you know what? Lightning bugs, of course.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I'll let them crawl on my hand. A ladybug, absolutely. Yeah, those are the sweet ones. Wasps. Yeah. No. No. I got to draw the line somewhere.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Okay. I don't know if I had to act. So I interrupt people. If I had to act in something where like a tarantula was probably, I don't know if I could do it. I bet I bet you would talk to the. The Wrangler. Yeah, the Wrangler. And they would go, oh, it's really easy.
Starting point is 00:50:03 You know, it's like you just got to get used to it. They're not dangerous. Blah, blah, blah. You'd do it. But they're creepy. I know, but you would do. You're not a coward. Thanks for believing in me.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Yeah. I think you would do it. Well, I just know that you need to work more. And so you would just be like, it's fine. I forgot about that reason. Yes, I absolutely would do it. Yeah, I mean. So if you're listening up there.
Starting point is 00:50:22 And you want to try to like crawl on someone's face. The guy who loves bugs. Yeah. I would say in terms of like dangerous things that I did that had no consequences, they're all bike related. Me and my friends would drive around or bike around the college where I went to college for a couple of years, junior college. And there were these ponds that we all like would jump over the ponds with our bikes.
Starting point is 00:50:48 and I would always think like, oh, I wonder what would happen to us if we've, and none of us ever fell in. And then also riding the bike into the pool over at Brian Poitaine's house, we would do that where we would like, the first time I did it, I just rode right into the pool and the minute the front tire hit the water, it flipped over. And so I flipped over on it. But then I was like, oh, okay, you have to like jump on it in order to fully just sink into the pool.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then how do you get the bike out? You just toss it out. It's not hard. But then Tall John would ride from the roof into the pool. Oh my God. That's just even more insane. Because he's taller than the pool.
Starting point is 00:51:26 Yeah. He is. Yeah. It's a 10-foot pool and he's 11 feet tall. Yeah. That's why we call him Tall John. I remember when I was a kid, there was this woodsy area where there was a big, you know, he lived in the sewer deer.
Starting point is 00:51:42 But it was in the area. There was a big, uh, just like a big, thick rope hanging from a tree that you could, you, like you would. Who put up this rope? I don't know. But you would run, grab the rope and like swing out over this incredibly steep drop. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:00 And it was thrilling, but it was very scary. But I remember working at the courage to do it. And when I did it, it was exhilarating. I was always too scared of things. I, where I went to summer camp, they had, you know, the big high dive board. Oh, the high dive to me is terrified. I would never, ever ever do. And all my friends would do it.
Starting point is 00:52:19 And I remember them, I think it was part of camp where they made you do it. And I was like terrified. And they were like, come on, come on. And yeah, and I was too much of a coward. I was just thinking yesterday about how when people just jump off of rocks into water, I'm like, how do we know that's deep enough where you are? I don't like that. I don't trust that.
Starting point is 00:52:41 But everyone's fine. But do you want it to be really deep or you just sink and sink and sink? Well, that's not how it works. You go into the center of the earth? I guess, you know, on our honeymoon in Hawaii, there was a waterfall that we had one of the, a great guidebook back before really this kind of stuff was on the internet, all that much,
Starting point is 00:53:01 but a great guidebook saying like all these like secret spots and stuff like that. And so we went to this, you know, waterfall. And I remember Coolup being very frightened of, not for herself, but for me, she's like, don't get too close, you know. And I thought I was being very safe. But, you know, that was one of the things you read in the book of like, you know, hey, you got to be careful because people have plunged their death.
Starting point is 00:53:22 And I, you know, and I remember my uncle got married on a cliff and being just so frightened of that. And all the guys, all the men who were there were like, yeah, come on over here to the cliff. I'm like, but anyone can just fall in, you know. Anyone's allowed. It can happen. That's any time. Waterfalls, of course, because of playing video games, I will always look behind them for treasure.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Yeah. And coins. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cute. Thank you. You should hide some treasure there. What if I hid like an old treasure chest?
Starting point is 00:53:53 And inside is like some first aid kits. And some like mentos. Just fun stuff. Fun stuff you need. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's hear another one. Thanks, Ben.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Okay. Thank you. Great question. Peanut Butter gang. This is Maddie from Dallas. That is not what we're called. I was just wondering, what do y'all do to spark creativity when you're just not feeling that inspired.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Love you so much. Bye. We're not the peanut butter gang, are we? No, we've never been. For the pretzel gang. For the pretzel gang. Is that another gang? I think we've been that.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Is there a rival gang? I think we've been the peanut butter gang. Oh my gosh. I don't know. I don't think we've ever been the peanut butter people. Okay. The peanut butter people I'd like to be. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Okay. Then we are. Okay. The peanut butter people. Okay. I don't know what I do actually. I don't know if I've ever had, I'm trying to think if I've had that conscious thought
Starting point is 00:54:48 of like, I need to do something for inspiration. Here are the things I've found work. Take a shower. That's like number one. I was going to say that too, actually. Me too. Because you're just like not thinking, you're not doing something else.
Starting point is 00:55:01 The mind wanders. The worst thing you can do is sit there at your, I mean, it's not, you can still work it out sometimes where you're like, okay, I'm going to grind this out in front of my computer. You can still work that way, but I found it's better to approach your computer when you already have it in your head of what you're going to do. So the best thing to do when you're feeling just stuck is to go take a shower and think about it in the shower or go take a walk outside. I used to hike occasionally.
Starting point is 00:55:34 And by the time you would get back from the hike, you'd have everything worked out in your head. And then you just like type it up. That's the thing is like a lot of people go like right to the computer and go like, okay, now. I'm working because they're trying to think of what to write. Yes. Or whatever. You got to think of it beforehand and then just get to your computer and like, what can I write about?
Starting point is 00:55:50 Vominated a desk chair, a window. I also feel that I have a lot of ideas in bed when I'm going to bed. Going to bed. And I've made myself get into the habit of right, like making a note of things when I think of them. I'm not talking about like when you're falling asleep and you think you have an interesting idea and you write it down and it's gibberish the next day. Right. I'm saying like when you're still awake and you're lying there in the dark and your your mind starts going.
Starting point is 00:56:17 What about this? Write things down. Like make a note of it. I can usually write like if I'm in the middle of a script, I can, I'll think about it at night because it's like one of these problems. It's a lot like what they tell you about. First world problems. It's what they tell you about doing crosswords is like set it down in your mind will continue to work on it. Even though subconsciously, even though you don't know that you're working on it.
Starting point is 00:56:41 And then you pick it back up. and you're like, oh, yeah, I know this answer. Oh. Pluribus. Pluribus, Unum. E. Blank, unum. And you're like, let me just... Hi, my name is E. Blank Unum. I hate Batman?
Starting point is 00:56:57 But, but what was I say? Oh, yeah, when you're going to bed, like, it's... And you're in the middle of a script and you haven't quite figured out a plot point. Like, I found that, like, your mind continues to think about that until it's worked itself out. Sometimes if you don't do it before you're asleep, sometimes it'll do it in a dream,
Starting point is 00:57:16 or you think you'll have done it in a dream. But yeah, like going to bed is, so if it's like 10 a.m., just go to bed. Yeah. Oh, my God. I wish I was in bed right now. Oh, my God. I am in bed right now.
Starting point is 00:57:27 No, my other thing is driving and listening to music, I would say. Because I feel like I'm listening to music, I start to picture things and that kind of gets me like a different. Like notes. See, you know what else? And this is very simple, but watch or listen to things that you enjoy. and think about why you enjoy them.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Think about what it is that you like about that aspect of creativity and apply that to something that you want to do. Do you know what I mean? Because sometimes I will find, I'll enjoy something that has nothing to do with a thing that I want to do, but I look at the approach of it and say, oh, I can apply that to my thing, even though it's completely different from this thing.
Starting point is 00:58:08 But the more you think about how they do, the things that they do why you enjoy it, what is satisfying or enjoyable about it, you can get lessons there for the things you want to do. That's why your new show about the chef in Chicago is so good. Yeah. The lion? The lion. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:25 It's a great show. Yeah. I love it. All right. Let's hear this is no name. Okay. Thank you, peanut butter. This is EBlank Uno.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Hello, Lauren, Paul, and Scott. I once shot a fly out of the air with a rubber band. I don't know if I've ever felt so proud of myself in my entire life as I did in that moment. Have any of you ever done something that's totally meaningless in the real world, but felt like you had accomplished something astounding? And also, what was that thing? This is hot off the presses. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:59:02 This is a recent achievement? Yes. This just happened. And I was like, what's funny is I was thinking, I can't relate this to anybody because it's never going to be, I can't. I can't purely. I'm serious. I thought you were responding to me saying, I can't relate this to anybody.
Starting point is 00:59:24 You were going, oh, great. No, I meant like, you'll be so excited that this came up because you were just thinking about how there was no way to bring this up. So this past Saturday, of course, Bob Barker died at the age of 99. I had my show in Portland coincidentally. Now we tour with two horn players,
Starting point is 00:59:45 a trumpet and a sousaphone. Coincidentally, the trombone player that plays with us in L.A. was in Portland that weekend. And he came and did the show. And this was about, I want to say, 20 minutes before the show. I said, I think we should do this.
Starting point is 01:00:05 I will, at the top of the show, I'll say thank you all for being here because it's such a sad night. Of course, Bob Barker died. And then you guys play the sad bra. Bah, ba, ba, ba. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:20 And they were like, okay. We were all like, yeah, that'll be funny. And then we did it. I just said it and they immediately played it. And the laugh went on for such a long time. And it was so satisfying. That's amazing. It was so, I was trying so hard not to laugh.
Starting point is 01:00:37 and I it just it felt so good oh good it felt so good and I was like I wish I had recorded this yeah because it was like it was like one of those things where people were laughing in waves you know what I mean they couldn't believe that we did it we couldn't believe that we did it and but it could only have happened that day yeah yeah you should no you should try it again in your next show it works it works so well you I did say we've done this in every show this is the first time
Starting point is 01:01:03 it's really it but it was so It is like a warm memory for me now. That's great. Aw, how lovely. Thank you. I guess my thing, equivalent to that is like I was trying to take a shit and it went in the toilet.
Starting point is 01:01:21 What? What happened to you? Lauren went away this episode. You're trying to take a shit? I was trying to get a shit and it went into the toilet. So like, you know, like I hit that fly with our rant? I got exactly where I wanted. Exactly right in that toilet.
Starting point is 01:01:35 You felt a sense of pride. Yeah. I'm here. Sometimes talking is a lot. You want to tell me. We should just do this show not as a show and where we don't talk. Oh, okay. So it's just a silent.
Starting point is 01:01:51 And silently. Yeah. And we don't record it. Yeah. What if we all just go and do it at our own house? Or we do it on Zoom. Yeah. And we turned off the Zoom.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Yes. And we close the computer. And we just do it in our own houses. And we never see each other again. Yeah. Sounds good to me. People often think like, it sounds like, like Lauren wants the show to end.
Starting point is 01:02:11 I've seen comments like that. And which I was- About you specifically? Or like us or like, I don't know. I've seen comments where it's like, it sounds like they're getting tired of the show. That's not how we feel. It's more that like life is busy and sometimes it's hard.
Starting point is 01:02:23 So it's also you have another thing you have to get to. Yeah. And we've also been doing the show for a while. It's like, yeah. No, but like I just like, don't try to read into the fucking shit. We're just going to settle into different rhythms as it goes on. Yeah. And also, Lauren, she gives us a big lecture at the end of every show about what we did wrong, what we could do better.
Starting point is 01:02:43 There is that tension that's hanging over everything. Everyone kind of knows like every time they mess up, but I'm coming for them. She makes us line up like she's a drill sergeant. Yeah. We have to stand at attention. Yeah. Just like her manners party. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Oh, yeah. I remember that one. Now. Matters party. All right. You should throw a manners party for Holly. I will do nothing of those. sort.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Was the managed party a thing that you wanted to happen? I don't know. Did she have a request for this party that she? For her birthday party? Yeah. No, but I did her favorite things, which were Bluey and Monsters Inc. So that's the decorations were on theme. Can you imagine if those two got together?
Starting point is 01:03:24 Oh, my God. I actually think that Bluey is a monster. Really? If Bluey came through the door at night, I'd be a little scared. I mean, it's talking. Yeah. You know that there was a dog named Bluey in Australia who, held the record for a while for being the oldest dog.
Starting point is 01:03:39 No, I didn't know that. Yeah. And that's why Bluey's Bluey's bluing. I think so. You got to assume. You got to assume. If there's no connection to that, that's weird. If you went to the creators of Bluey and you said, did you know that the dog?
Starting point is 01:03:53 They'd be like, crikey. Yeah. Yeah. Truth. What does truth mean? Truth? Truth or God's truth. That's the truth.
Starting point is 01:04:03 That's the truth. Yeah. Truth. Zones. God's wounds. God's wounds. Blood. God's, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Z blood? Blood? Blood? God's, I don't know. God's blood. Oh. The blood of Christ. Compels thee.
Starting point is 01:04:21 The blood of Christ compels thee. Yeah. Isn't that funny? That's one that I know from the Bible. Yeah. Okay, so here's Jesus. We're back to the Jesus stuff. These are obsessed.
Starting point is 01:04:30 And he's like, you guys gotta fucking drink my blood. But like speaking of vampires. It's kind of a weird thing. Christians are vampires. Let's get out of here. All right. We do have to go.
Starting point is 01:04:43 We do have to go. So remember, Hag claims 8 if you want to leave his voicemail, if you want to suggest a threacher to us, Freedom USA at gmail.com. If you would like to follow us on socials, Freedom USA, all kinds of places. And if you would like to your ad-free versions of this show,
Starting point is 01:04:57 go to Comedy Bang Bang World. CbbbbWorld.com. Until then. Until when? Until you do that. We will never forgive you. Yeah. But thank you for listening.
Starting point is 01:05:07 We love you. We love doing the show. I have to say next week is our final episode of our season. Yeah. It is? Yeah. Oh my goodness. So, you know, you got one more week of us.
Starting point is 01:05:20 So if you're getting tired of us, like Lauren gets tired at the end of a show, you only have one more. That's not cool. The show, we don't know if we're going to get picked up again. Yeah. So what we need you to do is right to Colin. Right to Colin Anderson. And go crikey, mate. And let him, you have to open with crikey mate.
Starting point is 01:05:43 Yeah, he likes that. In truth, I need more freedom. In truth. In truth, crikey mate. In truth, I need more freedom. Signed Bluie. Signed Bluie. He loves Bluie.
Starting point is 01:05:55 He loves Bluie. And if he had thousands of emails from Bluie, he's going to lose his mind. Yeah, he will pick us up for an eternity. Yeah. All right. I have my keys in my hand. I don't know if you can say. Okay. Bye.

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