Threedom - Threevisiting: There's The Ding

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about TV theme songs, TikTok, and play Word Alley-Oop.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Wet weather pounding the Southland. Rainy Day to Freedom always bring me down. I was trying to do the Paul Williams version. Oh, interesting. Did he write that? I think he did. And if he didn't, he should have. That guy who made the speech.

sang a little bit of Karen Carpenter. Oh, my God, that was adorable. That was really cute. The guy who won for, was it RRR? Yeah. He sang the Carpenter. Yeah, he was like, I grew up listening to the Carpenters, and then he said his, he sang his speech in the melody of,

he did play a Weird Al, yeah, on top of the world. A little parody. I grew up emulating a carpenter. Jesus Christ. That's why I refused to call the band The Carpenter. Again, there was only one. Some carpenter. We don't see enough brother-sister duos.

We've said it before. We don't. Very true. Carpenter's. I like when it's ambiguous. You like when it's ambiguous. You like that. Like a certain gay duo.

I just love that. The ambiguous is a gay duo. I remember growing up and being like, that's how I learned what ambiguous meant. I remember being an adult learning what ambiguous meant from. I'll bet you did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's fine. we're back together in the same room all ended up dodging COVID I didn't get it that's why they call me the artful dodger that's true they do call you that a lot also I do pick people's pocket that's true okay you've got to you have an army of orphans well now that Fagan passed yes yes yes yeah poor one out I'm really sorry he was my how did fagin die uh how did he die COVID COVID he died COVID how was it COVID how what how was it COVID how did he died

How did he die COVID? He died of COVID 11. This was a while ago. So he just had an interesting... 1811. Yeah. Wow. So you were dancing between the raindrops.

You ended up not getting it. So we're back in person. I love that for you. Yeah. I really thought, because people... Because you were on a cruise ship. Yeah. And I was getting...

I was getting notifications left and right. Well, because everyone there had it. Yeah. Of course. I went to a beautiful wedding on Saturday night. And I saw Tawny, which is why I'm jumping to that. Is this a wedding that I didn't go to? It is.

I feel like I was there because of Instagram. Naomi McPeregan and Andy Beckerman's wedding, which was, well, you weren't there. Well, I wasn't there, but that was not the wedding that I ended up not going there. I thought you meant to stop it. Yes, Gows. Other people left that wedding after the ceremony to go to. They were the same day? I didn't realize it was.

I couldn't believe it. I was like, the pressure is on for these partygoers. But it was so beautiful, and it was such a special. What was beautiful about it? Naomi looked literally... What was so beautiful about this wedding? The love, let's just say, the love was incredible and it was palpable. But Naomi's dress and look, that night I could.

Should we get married for the podcast? You and Paul? No, no, the three of us, should we, like, anytime you start a podcast with someone, you should have a podcast wedding. I think whenever, well, you should share bank accounts. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. What I was just going to say...

And we can see each other in the hospital. They came down when they, when they had the ceremony, which was beautiful. And the officiant was so funny. I just met him that night, but I didn't know him. And after they came down the aisle, how we meant it. How they left the aisle down, you know, after the kiss was the perfect stranger's theme song. And I was in heaven. What?

I was on cloud nine. Okay, well, let me just get into it because I'm going to mix up 10 theme songs right now. Hold on. I think I'd blossom in my head immediately. I know. Do you want me to find it? Yeah, because I'm singing Punky Brewster. I can't stop.

Well, sing Punky Brewster while I look for this. Okay. I can't now because I already... Sing, please, sing Punky Brewster for me. We do a favor for now. Standing tall on the wings of my dreams. Rise and fall of the wings of our dreams. And I was so happy.

I truly was like, this is my dream scenario. Did that make you cry? Yeah. The world's perfect. Nothing could be arranged. Sometimes you just get a feeling like you need some kind of change. No matter what the odds are this time, nothing's going to stand in my way. They didn't start it here, though.

We didn't wait 30 seconds, one minute. They started with the court. Here, here if we went. Standing tall on the wings of our dreams Rise and fall on the wings of our dreams The wind of thunder The wind and rain are down for better days Some shit

It's so funny, how long themes are sure My dream and nothing's going to stop me now The writers must have been thrilled. We're about halfway through at this point. The writers must have been thrilled. They're like, that's less quick. Oh my God, two pages we don't have to do. It's my life, my dreams.

Nothing's going to stop me now. And that's all over Belke. You know, it's like it's giving it such grandiosity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, now they're arriving in America. Like, it's so fucking long. This is the full version. It's also, it has nothing to do with the idea of being perfect strangers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was it. It has nothing to do with their relationship at all. Written by Jesse Frederick. Bennett Salvei performed by David Pomeran. Let me say, it's a great song, but it has only to do with being perfect strangers. However, I love the idea of coming down the out of that. We were, it was so, well, that's what I'm trying to say.

I can't find the word. Do you know what they've retreating from the, you know, retreating from the, you? Yeah, it was a, I had never heard the song. There's the processional and the recessional. I had never heard the song, but the song she walked. I learned about that because I wrote a script once, said at a wedding, and I said, here comes the bride plays, as everyone left the, the, the, the, the, the, the place. And my mom made me.

feel stupid when she read it and said, it would be the recession. Wow, you idiot? No, she went down the album song I had never heard that was something like, it was like a slow indie rock song that was like, my back, my pussy and my crack. It was like, don't be afraid of love. And I just loved it. I mean, the balls, they've been together forever.

They're just getting married. Don't be afraid of love. And the wedding was on the anniversary of their first kiss. Really? 13 years before. Cool haven't I tried to. Well, at one point I pitched, hey, should we get married on the 10th anniversary of our first date?

And she went, I'm not waiting that long. Wow. And how many years then did you get married? Six? It ended up being nine and a half. Oh, come on. Yeah. Not weeks either.

Hey, hey, we were looking at the Scarecrow and Mrs. King theme song the other day, Jason Menzookas and Will Hines. Why? I don't know that song. I don't know. I don't either. It is so long. This is not how I guess it would have gone.

But yeah, dramas, too. If we're playing this game, I need you to play the Who's the Boss theme song, because that's the best, most emotional theme song. Most emotional? Most, most, it evokes emotion. Which one? Nostalgia. This song is making me crazy.

It sounds like madness. The song is making me crazy. But, I mean, we were just laughing at how long because it's just like a ton of stuff is happening underneath all of this. Like they're trying to tell so much story. Just play who's the boss

so that you can feel what it feels like to move somewhere in the fall. I'll just close this tab of the unicorn movie. I thought you're going to say what feels like to be me. I'll close the tab I had opened. Why are you watching the unicorn movie? Because I made a reference in a perv. I went to the premiere.

Well, it's still perverted. I went, I made a, no, someone made a unicorn reference on an on an upcoming, CBB episode. And I said, with Lauren Lapkis, and they were talking about a show? Yeah, there was a show called The Unicorn around the same time, which was about that guy being like a single dad or something like, oh, because he was, right, right, right, right. Hot single person or something. I mean, didn't that used to apply to like. Thruple. It was a three-sum. Well, that was the premise in our, that movie is that it's a unicorn is

someone who's coming into a couple. I thought it was someone who did anal. Oh, well, they have a horn. Unicorn All right Here's who's the boss Oh first we have a Google Chrome ad I was going to say this isn't it People don't get excited Video's gonna play after this ad

Hey why don't you try Google Chrome You can do Chromecast Season 3 apparently Oh aired September 23 1986 May 19 1987 May 19th Does this make you feel nothing?

Nothing I feel nothing I never watched it. I was too old. But that's not really, it's like I still feel like it would do something, but I guess not. No. Don't you have nostalgia for this thing you never watched? It's not objectively a great song. I'm sorry.

Brand new life around the band. Come on. You can go be someone's made. This is good because it applies to both of them. Yes. Lost a dream or two. What? It's a street in Connecticut probably.

Why did Mike Post get to have hit theme songs and no one else did? He really was my only guy. Believe it or not was one that got to be a hit. Mike Post wrote so many TV shows. He wrote Hill Street Blues. But that's an amazing. He wrote, believe it or not. Alan Thick wrote a theme song.

Alan Thick wrote a bunch. He wrote a bunch, but they weren't hits. Mike Post, they charted. Pete Carpenter? Wait, did they really chart? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. fun. Okay, I'm going to look up Mike Post discography and we'll see which of his... But how did they get on TV? I mean, how did they get on the radio? Like, they were just, like, playing the full version

on the radio because people liked the theme song? I think that they just, when it's another way for them to make money. So they probably sent it to radio stations. Wow. Okay, here's... Like, here's a full version of this song. And like, be sure to watch.

Welcome back Cotter this weekend. Here's the... Yeah, that comes up in the middle. Okay. Here's the one that charted... The lowest, which I was... I don't even know what it is. Manhattan Spiritual.

What? That charted at 56, but who knows what it is. Okay, so then you have Magnum P.I. Oh, sure. That charted at 25. Absolutely. It's a banger. It's a good song.

It's a great song. Great instrument. I don't think I know that one. Magnum P.I. Yeah, I don't really watch that. Well, see, this is the thing. Like, we have nostalgia for the things we like. I understand how nostalgia works.

Sweetie peony pooh. sweetie, booboo. This is Magnum P.I. This is... I know how much stuff you work, sweetie. Oh, my God. I went and spoke to some high schoolers last week. Ew, why?

I was giving them drugs. All right. You have to speak to them. To make it to ask the Bithere cop. But it was kind of a funny thing because basically this person I'm working with asked me to talk to his daughter's improv class. Okay. Tell the story. Oh, shit.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I went to all the way to the west side. And I spoke to them And then he was asking me And it was me and Brandon Scott Jones And he was asking me and Brandon Scott Jones Some questions about how we started doing improv

Because these kids are just getting into it And all this stuff It was very nice But one of the things he was like What did you like What made you what to be funny? And I was like I watched a lot of TV and I watched a lot of S&L

And I was like you wanted that attention And I was like you won't know what I'm talking about But like three's company Like the slapstick and three's company And then they were all just like dead I was like I'm not But I was like, but that was older than me. I was like, it wasn't even my time.

You know, I'm like, I'm not that old. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not that. I love when I was like, when I was in high school, and if someone was 37, I'd be like year 1,000. Like, you would say someone, like, he's like 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're getting played off. Okay. Anyway, I felt, what if you, what if you, what have you, what if you got played off

with your own film, so? You're accepting an award. And then suddenly, da, da, da, da, okay, so let me, let me tell you the ones that, uh, the charted higher. I will also say I did improv with the children and they were quite fun. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, it was very cute. Usually when they ask a question, it's usually like, hey, who's your age and can I have your age?

Well, honestly, their questions were very informed because they're in L.A. Like, it was just like the questions that they had, I was like, I would never have thought to ask this. Brandon Scott Jones, another person called by his initials like me. BSJ. Really? Yeah. Okay, charting at number 10, two singles charted at 10. Rockford Files and Hill Street Blues.

Oh, Rockford Files is a great song. That's a great one. Okay. And then his... Hill Street Blues is like too connected to the show, I feel. Sorry, L.A. Law was at 13. That also charted. What? I can't remember that one.

L.A. Law? Yeah. Oh, goes like this. It's a lay and it's a law. It's that lay. And it's the law. Is that charted? Oh, I want to have six now, bitches.

Legal style. Oh, sure. Yeah, you remember, yeah. See, but this sounds, a song like that sounds very theme songy in a way that, like, the rocker files does it. I could see the names coming onto the screen and the person entered the door. So how did this chart? Like, why were people listening to this for pleasure?

That show is a hot show. People loved it. Yeah. But is there a theme song even? So number, his highest, at number two, believe it or not, I'm walking on air. What was the, greatest American era? That's his highest. Oh, that's his highest.

Yeah. Number two. Number two. What's like a two, three, four, like where we, what are as high as? Or we're at the top now. That's where it stops. He never had a number one hit. Okay.

Play a little bit of the Rockford Files. Yeah, it's so good. Did you ever see the Rockford Files? No, I don't know what that is. I remember when I was a kid in syndication, I want to, I feel like it must have still been on. I started watching the pilot because I was like, I got to get back into this. And it was so slow that I was. I like this.

What's it about? This part sounds, that elect, that sounds different to me. The synthesized part. Can I guess what it's about based on the name on this song? It's about a harmonica player who has a keyboard. That kind of threw me off a little bit. I was sort of like, my first thought was it's like X-Files, but it's like aliens. Oh.

But then I was like, okay, Rockford Tiles. It's like some detectives files, but he's a cowboy. Yeah, he sort of. He's, I mean, it's James Garner and he kind of has a cowboy vibe to him. So he's a PI, yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. He's kind of like a downtrodden guy.

Yeah, he like lives in a trailer, I believe, doesn't he? The show would open with somebody leaving a message on his answering machine. And it was always somebody who was kind of mad at him for some reason. Right. And it was a different message every time. So they had like this little cold open. Oh, my God. That was always different.

Yeah. I did watch Colombo Pilot. Yeah. And second episode recently. Columbo Pilots wild. It's so cool up. Coolup could not. believe it. She's like, when

this is the pilot? When does Columbo come in? And it was, it was minute 19. Yeah. They just have a problem for a long time and then well, because the gimmick was you see how the the killer did it first. Oh. And then Columbo figures it out.

You know. He figures that out. And you watch him figure it out. Is that one where he makes the omelet for the lady? Yeah. You watch him and he doesn't watch his man. You already know. He breaks like three eggs. Right. And then touches is everything in the kitchen. It's so gross.

Jane and I were watching that. She was losing her mind. Get out of my kitchen, Columbo. That's funky. But he always is like, it's funky. He always shows up pretending to be. I'm trying that instead of nasty. I just decided.

He always shows up pretending to like be there for a different reason. Yeah. So he can grill the person. So he's always like, oh, I was in the area. What's his name? Peter Falk. Yeah. He's like, I was just kind of looking at a property here in the area.

I was wondering if maybe. was admiring the bush out front looks so vibrant and green yeah maybe you could tell me what kind of uh oh and by the way oh i'd let him in what last thing he was fucking great he does one last thing did you kill your wife yeah and then and then every episode is an hour and a half that's the other thing what that's so long because it was filling a movie slot is what i found out later it was filling a two-hour movie slot of like mystery of the week yeah how much he got paid i think probably at least a I think it was $100 per half hour So, and this was pre-residuals

This is pre-residuals And also a different, I mean, just for inflation And they also got to kick him in a house cost $1. So he was really rich. Yeah. Yeah. He had three houses for every half hour. Yeah.

Oh, that's a lot. He just moved around a lot. He'd watch the show in each of his houses. I love that. That's the thing he would get paid to do the show and then they would pay him to watch the show. That's the thing. Yeah.

So they could fudge the Nielsen. Yeah, exactly. Like he watches his own show. I had a relative who had a Nielsen box at one point. I knew someone who had a relative who had one of them. Exciting. I always wanted one when I was a kid. Well, wouldn't that be so fun?

They care what you think. It's like now we can give feedback on Instagram ads, but that's not the same. No. I did go to like TV testing when I was a kid. I would drive up here with my friend and they would show us like shitty sitcoms. Yeah. And we would turn the dial and stuff like that. People can be very hateful, I would imagine,

because when you have control of that dial, you just want to send it. If I don't like something, I'm going red zone. Oh, yeah. I was at zero almost the entire time because it was so. Hate or hate. Love or hate?

Yeah. It's the only way to share. Did that show make it to air? No, it never made it to air. It was so fucking bad. It was, I mean, it must have been, it must have been 1984, 1985. Yeah, you were in it.

Yeah. It was your pilot that you wrote. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Did you ever have a pilot that you wrote? Did you ever have a pilot that you wrote? Uh, never. not over the phone

like a Bill Cosby choked a British guy did you have a pilot that you wrote I have written a pilot it did not go so I've never written anything that got made

but someone was entertaining that idea briefly they were briefly entertaining the idea yes oh it was very cool it was so cool to get that call we entertained this idea briefly hey we thought about it

and the answer is no It's like, that's cool that you thought about it. I appreciate that. I was in your mind at all. I remember once doing a, I was on a focus group for cigarettes in Philadelphia. Oh, I just remember. Just the concept of cigarettes? It was a new cigarette that we were trying.

Wow. What was it square? What was the new about it? It was square. I'm trying to realize. I did one of those once for like $60. For rabies. I don't know how I ended up there, but I got $60 and I had to like give my opinion on something,

but I can't remember what it was. was. I think it was a movie. Mm. Yeah. Of course, I famously did movie surveys. Wow. For the NRD. That's, I think it's what I'm most known for. You're wiki.

That's how I reached the most people in America, for sure. Probably. Was calling them at their homes and having them, giving them the opportunity to hang up on me. What's the weirdest thing you did for money? We must have talked about this. Oh, my God, sex. Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course.

But weird sex. Yeah. Regular sex you would have paid them. exactly right you know what i'm trying exactly right it was it was an educational thing for people to not kinkshame oh got it got i got it got and so you just had sex in front of a class yeah yeah and they were all like ew and i said i said i'm glad you did that because if you had to have okay if you had to have sex in front of a group of people and they just went you the entire time Would you be able to complete it?

I don't know. If you had to have sex, but it wasn't sex, I mean, this is sex, I guess, but it was, it was like foot people sex where someone's only involving feet and genitals. And everyone's going, ew, the whole time. If I were on the foot end of the equation, I bet I could do it. I bet I could. That means nothing to me. I don't care.

It means nothing to me. Nope, that would maybe be more embarrassing because you'd be like trying something. Wait, it would be the first time you did this kind of thing? Yeah. But I have all my clothes on except for one shoe and sock, right? No. Everyone's naked. Well, I'm on the screen.

Oh, you can see his book. No, you can see if a shadow of your outline, your silhouette. Fetishes are such a wild thing when somebody's into it. a thing that you're not it never occurs to you to be into and knowing like that's their whole thing yeah it seems like it's just like a lot like I when I uh I watched real sex growing up on HBO yeah and it was a little too real for me yeah it's like oh like give me some fake sex like don't people ever get on nudist parties yeah um but it I love when they would like interview the people on the street quarter and be like oh do you like blow jobs yeah I like

do I like to get a blow job every one that was that That was during TaxiCap Confessions. And they'd have like this sort of like street interviews. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was so great. Like they did on the first season of Sex and the City. Yes, which was so weird. I just like when I go out with a girl and she's wants to put a balloon up my ass.

What? Call me crazy. And I'm like, we never see that guy again. You're like, how did we do that? They would do that on the first few seasons of Seinfeld where there'd be this guy that would be talking in between the scenes everyone. I think he still did that the whole way through, actually. They did it until the end, right?

No, no. Those bumpers? No, he stopped doing it. Not in the middle, but they would do it. Oh, at the beginning and it. Yes, the beginning of the end. Yeah, it was weird when it was in the middle. At the end, he would do the lesson.

Yeah. Right, right. Yeah, on stage. But I just remember, and maybe, or maybe it was a true life, like, I have a fetish or something, like MTV. But there was one about balloons, where it was someone who was sexually attracted to balloons and... Like in the shape of boobs? I think they automatically are, but... And then another person who liked to...

sit on cakes, I remember, or see people do that. Cake sitter. There is a thing called cake sitter. That's definitely a thing. And there's also cake farters. There is. They fart on cakes or they fart cake? They fart onto the, they don't fart, how do they fart cake?

Like they eat a bunch of cake. Janine Garofalo used to cite that as why she did not have a website because she said the perfect one already exists. Yeah. And it was that. Cake fart. I'm not going to say it. Cakefarts.

orgasm. Okay. We need to take a break, but Paul's going to say it when we come back. Paul's going to say it. We promise when we come back. We swear. We swear. Come back.

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Can you hear those sirens? Yeah, I can. Boy, they're here to lock me up for what I'm wearing. I can get you out of this situation. On bail? Or... Even better. I won't have to go to fashion jail in the first place?

Full exoneration. Oh, a pardon? If you listen to me. Fashion pardon? You'll get a fashion pardon. Okay. I'm listening. It starts like this.

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Nice. I'm a big fan of that. It's great for when you want to feel cozy, but still look, you know, at your best. I wear it all the time. And honestly, I would wear it even more if my wife weren't borrowing it all the time. Girl, I hear you. My wife keeps stealing my quince items. I have a wonderful soft cashmere hoodie that I got from them.

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Cake problems. Did I say? Oh, come on, man. But anyway, you know, when you're a young, impressionable mind, and you see something and it just sticks with you? You mean traumatizes? Yes. Do you have anything like that where you saw like, oh, people can be into that?

No. But sometimes doesn't it make you into it when you're young and impressionable? Oh, I think if you're like a little little kid and then you, you know, isn't that how a lot of those things start? This is horrible. But I remember seeing when I was like, I was too young to see. this my neighbor had a stash of this was like your classic pornoes in the woods yeah yeah they're wet damp and everything in between he says he's got the goods porno in the woods um and okay jim one of them

can we talk about your new lyrics yeah okay first of all I'm a huge fan it's so specific though Jim I love everything about you I mean the doors of perception I'm going to write some poems You better hurry up Okay but I got to ask that your new song Pornos in the woods Pornos in the woods

Could it be about anything else Was that a personal experience? And yeah we like the melody We just kind of feel like maybe you can make it About something else Like the Valkyries Have you ever thought about Who were they?

I think you can connect Is that a porno magazine? Probably heavy metal Well I saw one that was like not one of your, it was like an off brand porn mag, right? Not one of the main Not Playboy, not Penhouse, not swank or we.

Which I always thought was Ui. Yeah, I had no idea how to pronounce that. Oooey! Let me see that Ui magazine. And there was like a photo, there was like a Things that make you say. I think of the idea was like weird fetishes or whatever and one was a top, a topless woman, of course, no head.

involved you just literally topless neck down neck down and in front of her is a plate that's the way you like to fuck there was a plate of shit in front of her and she had a knife and fork

oh no that makes me want to gag and it was I wish I had never seen it well I remember hearing a rumor about someone I won't say who oh could just say who no no is it divine yes it's true it's on film yeah right

Divide on film you've seen that Yeah, I just watched it. And I have not seen it. Really? I've never seen that. It's, I mean, it's the very last shot in the movie. So you could turn it off right before it. That's good to know.

That's good to know. Before that happened. I loved when Jake was talking about John Waters, you know, remembering in like, they realized they didn't know what the effects were of a human being. Well, I guess I could imagine. It could. Like, illness. By the way, I listened to John Waters on Ricky Lakes podcast, and it was an interesting interview, if that's something that might be of interest to anyone out there in the world.

It might be of interest to me. It might be of interest to me. I'm very fond of him. Yeah. Yeah, he was really interesting. But what was it going to say? You were talking about... Oh, yeah, this person apparently liked to make a woman, or no, he liked to... You like to make a woman? No, no, no, hold on. Franketstein? He preferred for the woman to do the following. He wanted to get, he would get under a glass table and he wanted to go on top and... Is this Chuck Barry? Doody, putty, putty, or Danny Thomas. Annie Thomas, that's right.

No, it's not. Allegedly, by the way, we can't talk about it. It hits a little closer to home. I'm just kidding. Okay. So this is someone we know. All right. Well, now I'm itching to take a break so we can hear who this is.

And if you're listening, hey. Oh. I hope you enjoyed the shout-out. By the way, huge news, speaking of bodily functions. You have to piss. Speaking of bodily functions. Well, you know our fondness for Clara Pellar, our honorary Pistick. Where's the beef, of course?

We love her. Where's the beefy wonder? We love her. We love her. We love her so much. We don't know what we love us so much. We respect her. I was watching television this weekend.

No way. You saw her? No. Call it. There is a new Clara Peller spokesperson for Wendy's with a new catchphrase. What? What is it? Squares the beef.

Are you fucking kidding? Because they're... Okay. So they heard our episode and they thought. this can come back. Yeah, because their burgers are square. Yeah. So squares the beef and here.

Honestly, they waited too long. And here is the spokesperson. I want to know, I want to open it up to the group, whether this person should be an honorary piss big. Okay. Okay. Reggie Miller. Oh, well, basketball player. First of all, I met Reggie Miller when I did earlier show and we had a total love connection.

We're totally in love. Really? No, it was the bit in the scene, but he was so. great. I loved to. He was awesome. So is he an honorary piss? Hold on, hold on. I need more details. Is he dressed as Clara Peller? Not that I could tell, although to be honest, his eyes were up here and I was not looking down lower. Is he as bad at delivering the line as Clara Peller was? I think he's probably better at it. He's charming. You know what's ironic? He's a giant and yet he stands on the shoulders of a giant. That's true. Clarapeller. That's true. And I vote no.

I can't you vote no I can't it's not just because of Wendy's because of who Clara was okay that's a good okay no okay though I vote yes because I think he's he's a great person to represent the piss pigs and he's and you have a basketball finish that he would go out there and we have a bad I love to fart on basketball he'd be on the piss pig street team essentially out there ripping for us I think just people for people to know that he was one I think would be good for the podcast Yeah. Even if he never said it. I would love to have an honorary piss pig who is still alive and will live for a few more years to come. Sure. But, you know, tall people are short-lived when you get that tall. It's like you're a great day. Oh, my God.

The blood can't get to where it needs to go. I know, yeah. That's why I sleep upside down. Yeah. I knew it. And not because I'm a vampire. Oh, I hadn't even thought about that. Well, okay, so you have the final vote.

Well, look, I was bold. holdover. I was dumbstruck when I saw this commercial. And again, if you're listening for the first time, Piss Pigs is the collective nickname for our audience. That you voted on. What was the thing they were voting against? Well, because I think they were like sweet fans. Right. It was sweet fans. Yeah, yeah. And everyone said no, we're obviously Piss Pips. Three Dorables, I think.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, three dorables and sweet fans. I think for like the top two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think also just like respected audience. Well, we say top two, they each were in like single digit polling. I mean, Well, nobody wanted it. No, it swept the His pigs was like far and away. This was a survey on Reddit, I think. Yes.

Yeah. You can look it up and you can look it up and find it. Yeah. Yeah, you can't vote anymore because voting is closed. Yeah. But you can see the results. Yeah. So anyway, if you're listening, yeah, we're trying to figure out whether

Reggie Miller, the basketball player from. Yeah. If you're just listening now, we're trying to figure this out. If you just tune in right now. What's happened? Okay, so if you just tuned in, what happened is, well, do you want to read? Just a second ago, we were recapping if people had just tuned in.

I think we should recap from the beginning really quickly, just kind of a couple of quick lines. Yeah. We talked about TV theme songs. We talked about fetishes. Paul saw a porno of a woman eating shit. The doors had an original version of their song. And then.

With a knife and a fork. Divine eat dog shit. And then I think that's pretty much where we were. Yeah. Pretty much where, yeah. When you really encapsulate like that, why do people listen? Claripeller was a, well, come on. I think everything's been delightful.

That's true. Honorary Piss Pig. Yes. In previous episodes, she, of course, we talked about her career, and we realized she was a piss pig because of just everything about it. She just fit the description now. And now, of course, she's passed on and she's in purgatory. You think she's still in purgatory? I think there's been enough time at this point.

You don't go to her to purgatory for like a few years. Pergatory is a long torment. You think it's hundreds and hundreds of years? It can't be for some people, but for Clara Peller? Yes. None of us is without sin. And she lived a long life. It's supposed to be a torment, but you're not bad enough to go to hell?

Yes, it is to purge you of your, of the mark of sin. Exactly. So the younger you are, the less time you spend in purgatory? Yeah, probably stands to reason. Unless you're a bad seed and you've committed many, many hours. Oh, like the good son? Or the bad seed. Oh, right.

That good son? More like that bad seed. Is that in the, I didn't see the movie, but is that a line in the movie? Yes, it is. It's how it ends. Good. anyway so let's say directly it ends with them saying that and then

they eat dog shit they all they count down three two one they all stayed in unison the good son more like that bad seed and then they bow and then a knife and a fork is wheeled out yeah there's a picnic table with like the red and white checker table um yeah it's just breeze through that

and it's a very long knife and fork that they all can grab on yeah it's piled with all kinds of shit and there's also a ton of different knives and forks and, like, different utensils. Like, so if you kind of were like, I want a small fork, I want a big fork. I want a sport. Yeah, it's like a bachelor's apart.

Yeah, I want a ladle. It's like one plastic one. Silverware from many different restaurants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so how do I vote? God, Reggie Miller.

Who did he play for? The Pacers? Oh, no. Don't look at me. The Pinto's? I'm supposed to know this. But, um, I'm supposed to know this. I like him.

I'm supposed to know this. The sons. Can, I feel like we need to, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm of two minds. I feel like we need to open this up to the fans to try to tweet at Reggie Miller and try to... No, no, no, no, no.

Do not bring the words to his Twitter fee. We'll put a new poll up under the other poll. Okay. Yeah, under the original Pist Pigs poll. And then you can vote there. Do not inform him of this because the voting is not... And tag Lauren.

Oh, no, you're not on Twitter anymore. Damn it. Isn't that wonderful? I really like it. I'm about... to leave. It's so great. I'm going to wait for the book to come out

and then I'm... You don't miss it. No, I don't miss it. The only time I kind of missed it was it was not, maybe it was the Golden Globes. It was whatever award show I saw recently. I do like seeing like the Oscars.

You were seeing me? No, because I didn't watch it. Oh. I got home after my show and I watched all the speeches and I was like, this is the way to do it. It's great. Love, love the speeches. A lot of really good speeches is here.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and then so we watched the ones that were, available on Hulu like right after the show which was not that many and then we went to YouTube and there were a few more on there and then one of the one of the clips on YouTube from the Oscars that just happened yeah was two minutes of the RRR dance number but not only two minutes they joined it in progress so like why weird and I love that the beginning in the end yeah it's really good it's like did they not pay their did you watch RRRR I haven't seen it I had no idea it was

fun like that it's so good I mean excited to watch it. It's so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. So we'll leave it up to the fans and we'll come, we'll come back next week with the results of the poll. Yes. Again, do not tweet Reggie Filner. He does not need to know that the show exists. He can't know until the results are right. Sure. And then he'll be incredibly honored. Oh, of course. Or devastated. Well, if it doesn't go his way, then we're not going to tell him. I mean, that's cruel. That's cruel. Exactly. I always appreciate when I go to an audition, I love not hearing back. Oh, well, then you'd be in heaven in my career. Also, please do tweet the surviving relatives of Clara Peller and let them know that she is indeed an honorary.

Here's what I really enjoyed was, speaking of the Oscars was the target of every joke weighed in about how the joke was not funny. Okay, what do you mean? So, Polly Shore, that joke about me was not funny. Oh, online they said earlier. Yeah, on TMZ or whatever. Oh, my God. And then Robert Blake's son, that joke about my dad was not funny. It's just like, hey, guys, yeah, we get it.

If the joke is about you, you're going to think it's not funny. It's the time. That's how that works. That's not a scoop. Yeah, thank you so much. Hey, your dad just died. What did you think about this joke? Didn't care for it.

I thought Jimmy Kimmel was funny. Yeah, he did a great job. Yeah. Yeah. There's kind of no winning in that job anymore. Yeah. Because everyone just complains about everything. But I thought he did a great.

Anodyne job where he just like breeze through it. But I mean, isn't it sort of like not necessary to have a host? Well, they tried it without a host and no one cares. See, what you need is you need the posters with the host kissing the Oscars and having like a big armful of them. Host or hoster. I get it. Because you look at it and you go, Jimmy, those are not your Oscars. And he's like, no, no, no, I'm going to give them away to the people.

That's right. He's like the tricks rabbit. And he finally got the tricks. Yes. But then he's a dream. As a word show fan, I like having a host. host. I like having a host, too. I think it's just fun. It makes it feel like an event. I also weirdly think they tried so many different things in the previous years. I don't think

you need the different things anymore. We just like it. We just like it the way like have the host come out, tell funny jokes, have the same structure. We like it better that way. I saw some article that was like, this generation wants it to be like this generation. I thought that too. Wanted it to be like TikTok and they wanted to be like really fast, quick things. Can I ask about TikTok like the dance? the dancing that I see on TikTok. Can I ask you about TikTok? It's all just above the waist

with people bopping side to side. But do you know what it is too? They have this special technique and I don't trust someone out there knows more. But there's a camera sort of filter or app or something they're using where it kind of keeps them center but also like

yeah and the background can move a little so it makes them look like they're dancing much more intensely than they are. It's like they're kind of like but it's like you kind of like it's something that's happening. Every TikTok I've seen has been like

three friends getting together doing the most basic dance side to side and then laughing and turning the camera off. Yeah, it's garbage trash. It's literally trash and our brains are rotting.

I can't look at it for too long. It starts to just... Yeah, I don't use that one. It starts to ask you to come inside the phone. Yeah. And be part of its world. You know what I'm talking about. Of course.

Yes. It has that weird whisper. Yeah. The sirens call. Sometimes. that the hand starts to come out. Yes, exactly. And grab you by the throat.

Lauren's signing pictures of herself, by the way. Oh, my God. Just for fun. Self-centered much. No, I'm done. And she's finally done. I wanted to announce that. Thank you so much.

Congratulations. You can purchase these. These are very, although I don't know whether. Oh, I can't remember the name of the person who drew these, but it's delightful fan art. Yeah, I would tell you, but we'll find out. We'll definitely find out. we have to take a break. When we come back, Paul's going to say that thing that we wanted him to say.

Yes. Oh, he's getting ready. He's getting ready. He's been hyping himself up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been doing push-ups in the corner. I look in the mirror and I take my pants down. Oh, okay.

I say the rosary. And he's like, my belly buds up here. That's what he's doing. All right. We'll be right back. I don't know why. phone bill ruin your holiday mood. Who are you?

I'm sorry, I'm the ghost of Christmas Mintmobile. Oh, okay. No, Christmas Mint Mobile died? Well, right now, Mint Mobile has all of their unlimited plans at 50% off. That's half. That's a huge amount, right? You can get three, six, or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. It's their biggest deal of the year.

And the perfect moment to politely, or not so politely, give your old wireless bill the Scrooge treatment. You know what I'm saying, where you use scarab and turn them nice. Yeah, exactly. That's what Scrooge did. Yep. Now, let me ask you a question. Are all MintMobil plans coming with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network? Paul, you know that that is correct.

Oh. Now, I wish that passed me. Christmas past you? Christmas past me knew about MintMobile earlier because I could have saved so much. much money over the years. But thankfully, Christmas present me knows about Mint Mobile and I'm saving money now, right? So, you know, switching for my old providers has helped me save hundreds. And when I say hundreds, I don't mean hundreds of, you know, breadcrumbs. I'm talking about dollars. Oh, that's better. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what those savings mean? More Christmas

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fan. The Red Rising Deluxe Slipcase Edition is available now wherever books are sold. And we're back and it's time for a three-ter. But first, but first, the corrections department has descended upon freedom of all podcasts. Can you believe? This is a clarification. You remember we played three-via where we have trivia about each other and we have to answer. It's a great game. We didn't, we never got to Stevia. I feel, I feel bad. I know. So many questions we can ask.

I don't think we have to feel bad. I love talking about it. Ow. Oh, I felt that. Lauren hit her knee on the, like in the table. Oh my God, there's like a pointy. It's the class between the two. Okay, I'll try to figure something.

There's nothing I can do. I mean, maybe there is, but it doesn't matter. I could just be more careful. I'll look at it. This is something you could do is see me in court. So when we first did the Freedom Trivia, it was submitted by Nathan Diffy. Yeah. Great Nathan Diffy.

And then we did it again, but questions were sent in by a different person, somebody named Lee. Yeah. And just wanted to clarify, because there might have been some overlapping questions. Yeah. That nobody was swiping anybody else's questions. They sent them independently of each other. Right.

And so. Oh, is that a question? wait i don't know what we're talking about right well so we are you going to explain this is just no i am doing it are you going to explain yourself paul because we're sitting here waiting for this to make sense so just so both nathan and lee know no one's they they came up with their questions independently it just happened that some of them coincided some of them were they came up with the same it was parallel thought yes parallel thought yes which happens a lot comedy. Okay. It does. I just got asked about a joke I made earlier this morning. Someone

texted me and said, what was your joke about such and such? Because they're writing for a show and said, I don't want to, I don't want to. Sometimes it happens, you know. And I said, ask me if I give a shit. If you steal my joke. Do you give a shit? I do. Yeah. I asked and please don't do it. Can you pay me five dollars? Sorry. So Lee, I think Lee, it doesn't matter. But anyway, so that's, that's the point. Oh, no. If there were duplicate questions, Which there may have been. Whose feelings are we trying to, to spare? Yeah, because I didn't realize that was an issue.

No, we're trying, we're trying to clear the air for both of them. Because they're both heated and they're both very upset. Oh, my God, they're both furious. I was going to say, and I'm in the middle. I thought maybe you were going to mention that we got one wrong. I answered my own question. Yes. Now it's the corrections department.

Yeah, that's, we got, this is really embarrassing. There was a question. And did we look this up to make sure? Part of, no. Part of what. This is the best kind of correction. Part of what I love is that the questions don't come with answers because they're about us and we should know.

And I still didn't know when I got my own question wrong. But here's part of why it was hard for me. It was a fact-based question. This was not based on my memories. It's not based on my memories or my feelings, which is what I remember the most. It's based on a fact, which I care about the least. So it's not based on your memories, which are not facts. My memories are whatever I think.

Hey, our memories are not facts. Look, I might say shit, that's not true. but I would still know the answer to the question because it's whatever I've created in my mind as being the past. Right. Now, apparently, my first episode of Coming Bang Bang, I said it was with Adam Brody.

It was, in fact, with Gillian Jacobs and Paul F. Tompkins. Me. And that does sound familiar. But I think Adam maybe was my second or third. But anyways. Plus, it was so long ago. No, it was a million years ago. But if you want to know if that's true or not,

you can look it up. I just wanted to say that I might have been wrong. As David, stretch Gregory said, takes a... It takes a village, but it takes a big person to admit they might have been wrong. It takes a big person to stomp on that village. What I don't want to do is, I guess I just thought it'd be hard to find out what's my first episode. It would be so easy that I don't even want to do it.

It's very easy. I'll do it right now. All right. Well, don't wait for me. All right. Look, we're going to, I have a question for you. What? We're going to play this game, which involves us, or this three-ter.

It's not a game. which involves... We don't play games on the show. We don't play games ever on the show. You're not playing a game. Are you having a laugh? Are we playing a game? But we're going to play this three-cher, which involves us texting each other.

Now, I've turned on the Do Not Disturb on my texts. Of course, I have that as well. Because the noise comes up on the recording, and it has happened so often. Even with it on silent? No, on silent. Well, yes, if it's on Silent, yes, but it's on Do Not Disturb. Now, I will turn Do Not Disturb. off and we'll hear the ding

if everyone is cool with that. But why do you have to hear a ding? Because it just, because the recording is going through this computer. Wait, are you hearing? Are you hearing the noise? The computer makes the ding. Oh yeah, I do hear that. So I'm going to turn off, do not disturb. Don't get

mad if we hear this ding. All right. Lawrence's first appearance on Comedy Bang Bang. Whoa. It was episode 180. Wow, you waited a long time. It was a it was an episode called We just met. Called Friends Without Words.

Yes. And the guests were, myself as Gary Marshall. Wow. Lauren as Tracy Reardon. No, it wasn't Tracy Reardon. It was another Tracy. I actually, it was one of these things where I used the name. Oh, my God.

Jesus fucking Christ. Twice within. And Gillian Jacobs. Okay. But in the picture? Wait, you were a different Tracy Reardon? Yeah. No, it wasn't Tracy Reardon.

My name was Tracy, and I was a foreign exchange student who, basically it was like I was Amanda Knox. I said I lived in Spain or something but I was only there for like a semester. All right if anyone even wants to listen in this episode. I don't think you should I'm sure I'm just all over the place but in the photo for the episode they also

we can see Zach Aliphonakis John Daly and Neil Campbell. Why are they all there? I think we were taping another one right after or something and so we all got into the picture together. Wow that's so old let me see it. That's so old my grandmother farts dust. That's so my grandmother

I know, it doesn't make any sense, even when I was a kid. I love it. Okay, so we're going to play this game, or three-ter. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. God, damn. I don't know what it's called. Are you sure was that so old my grandmother first does? That's what it was when I was a kid.

That's what she said. So the game, I don't know what it's called, but it's where we each text each other one word, and then we do a scene, and we have to throw that word in there, and then we have to guess what the word is. Great. great great fine okay and you know what you know what my feeling is about this game what's that it's fucking impossible well well we've done it before no you never guessed really yeah we did did you yeah i think you got one right i think i find it really hard because you're concentrating on your own

word in your own scene yes yeah let's try it though i think paul found it the hardest let's try it this time we're all gonna get it yeah okay so we're gonna text this way you can say that about in most games, but maybe not this one. No, I just think you were so immersed in your scene, usually. Well, that's true. You know, you're doing this. I do the work. I think it should be a phrase, because I think that that makes it a little bit.

Oh, make it a word. And then we'll graduate to a phrase if we find it too hard. Okay, fine. So I'm going to text Paul. Paul's going to text Lauren, and Lauren's going to text me. And it's going to be one word. And we're going to hear a ding when I get this word. All right, I've texted Paul.

Paul has received his word. Scott has received his word. I have received my word. Where's that ding? Why do you need a ding? The fuck are you talking about it? Because my word came in, but I didn't hear the ding. Okay, I got my word.

All right, here we go. I've never been more furious. Really? Okay. So, and begin. I really, and I know we're closing the shop for just 15 minutes here to just, so we're kind of, let's get through this meeting because people do want ice cream and they are waiting. Yeah. But I just thought we weren't going to be able to.

Do you think 15 minutes is long enough? I think it is. I just think we just need to kind of. Because we have a lot on the schedule that we have to get through to talk about. We do, but I wanted to close the door. I wanted to lock it. I want to just kind of get into it. I thought that feeling.

People are really upset, but I thought the tension would be good so that we kind of, you know, the pressure outside. The pressure to get to get us through this meeting. What are you guys talking about? Oh, my God. We have employee meeting, Philip. I'm sorry. I was just zoned out. Okay.

Well. Is your word zoned? What? Never mind. Philip. What we're talking about is that this 31 flavors is having a lot of issues. Like 31 issues? You could say that.

Almost. I mean, that would be truly a brawink. Is it a bitch one of them? We have 30 issues. Philip, you act so aloof. Is your word bitch? We're not supposed to get it. I know, I know, I know. It's not.

All right. I'm making funny jokes. I'm making funny jokes. What if we, okay. Philip, you act so aloof and I just. What? Me? What are you trying to say?

What are you trying to say, Philip? I'm going to say. Because you have, you have the most of the issues you put on to the the agenda, the company agenda, bring up your issues. Okay. Is this going to be what the meeting's going to be like? Is this some sort of harbinger of what the meeting is going to be all about?

I'm envious of you because I feel that you get this opportunity to just pretend like you don't care and then you just get away with it, whereas I as the manager, have to do so much. I'll tell you who doesn't care is all of you, because I've pitched so many ice cream flavors that could turn our business around. Okay, well, pitch some of the flavors. All right. Because we haven't listened to you every time you've pitched them before. We're going to take some flavor ideas right now. Number one.

Because we have an empty bucket here for our 31st flavor. And people are banging on the door. So we need to make it. So please help us out of the jam. We probably should have had this meeting off hours. We shouldn't have done it. Philip. Okay, okay.

So first flavor. Fragrant swirl. It is regular chocolate. vanilla swirl. Yeah. But when you crack it with the spoon, right? Don't you know his word? Like it's, I do.

Yes. No. You don't crack. I meant like once you take the first scoop out with the spoon. Okay. It smells like a childhood memory of yours. There's the ding finally. So wait, does that mean you're going to go for my idea?

No, I have an idea. Has everyone's word been said? Mine has. No. No, his hasn't. Second flavor idea. So what do we have? Luminous ice cream.

You eat it in the dark and it glows like those weird fucking algae. I love that. Wait, does your stomach glow or the ice? Both. So it goes all the way down. I love that. Yeah. So it's almost as if you're. And then you look like one of those glowworms.

Is it like when you go in for that medical thing that you have to drink that? Barry amenema. Yeah. Yeah. Berry an enema. It feels like that too. Wow. Third flavor idea.

Okay. Okay. Make this one good, please. You know how everybody loves that sparkling water? Yeah, I guess. Carbonated ice cream. We call it Pop Rocks ice cream. You put it in your fucking mouth.

Do we need to get permission from the Pop Rocks company? No, they're dead because they drank Coke with their own product. Oh, fuck. They all died. They all died. It was a mess. It was a mess. Wait, what's this one called again?

This is carbonated ice cream. One more, that. The name of it is effervescence in a can. okay all right we've all said our word effervescence no carbonated

yes he threw you up you asshole can you guess mine harbinger yeah can you guess mine yeah because I gave it to you

oh wait I'm supposed to guess yours oh I wasn't paying attention to yours I get so confused well who knows what I was paying more attention until I realized I knew it was

word. Mine was envious. Envious. I'm so envious of you because you can't. You slid it in there. I said it three times though. It was very well done. Just to make sure.

I enjoy. Do we need to graduate the phrase? I think we should do one with phrase because I think it'll be kind of funny. The phrase the pays? Like I think it's just two word phrase. Not like a quote, but like meaning a two word word. Do we go the same way or do we reverse direction? It's reverse direction.

Oh, okay. Okay, I'm going to text Lauren. Lauren's going to text Paul. Paul's going to text me. All right. Mm-hmm. I've texted Lauren. Paul has texted me.

Lauren has texted me. But for some reason, the ding didn't happen. It's going to happen in two minutes. I look forward to it in the middle of the scene. Yeah. All right. But you don't have to have your phone off, Do You Not Disturb? You could just have it on You Not Disturb and then look at the texts.

Huh? They still come in. Huh? They just don't alert you. Huh? All right. Okay. Okay, ready?

And go. Elliot. Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Slow down. Who are you? Oh, my God. It's an alien from your kids. Hello, penis breath.

Hi, E.T. Oh, E.T. I remember him. He rode around in my bike basket. Phone home. Hi. Yeah, hey. It's, my name's Elliot.

Yeah, I know. I called you Elliot. Oh, yeah. Hey, what was your name again? Edgar Thomas? I think you have to like do something with this thing now. It looks like it's older. It feels like it wants.

Yeah, what's going on? I'm sorry, this is my wife. Hi, I'm Julia Gulia. I thought you grew up together. I did. We did. Okay. I lived on the blog.

Do you remember her from Halloween? E.T. I thought she was penis breath. No, E.T. No, no, no, penis breath is dead. That was my brother. Oh, no. I lived on the block, E.T. She was dressed. Remember Halloween? She was dressed as the sexy nurse? Yes, E.T. goes.

Yeah, it was like nine. Yeah. That's how we got together. That's the night. We fell in love. Yeah. There's a lot going on that night. He had you in the basket and stuff, but also fell in a lot. It puts the E. It puts the E.T. in the basket. Or else it gets those again. Elliot. Yeah. Yes, E.T. What can I need your hell?

What do you need E.T.? Anything for you? My childhood friend. I'm going through a nasty divorce. Oh, no. E.T. is getting divorced? And I need a character witness. Oh, no.

Don't do it, Elliot. Do I have to go to your plan? What was your planet called again? E.T. Land. I love that. Look, why are you getting divorced? Yeah, what's a irreconcilable differences? You know,

Gertie, remember Gertie? I saw that movie. She was great. She was great, right? Yeah. She couldn't say irreconcilable differences that well. It was very cute. Very cute.

We love Gerti. E.T. Get divorced. You sound haunted. I'm sorry you're getting divorced, you know? This is how I always sound. That's kind of common nowadays, you know? It's like marriages just don't last.

And then's the breaks. Modern times, modern times. That's the breaks. Well, E.T. Do I need to go back to the planet or can I do it from here? Can we do it over Zoom? You can do it over Zoom. Oh, well, that's good.

If it's convenient, then I'm in. Yeah. I don't want to leave my wife, obviously, and we have 18 children. We're doing a reality show. Yeah, it's kind of based on how he was a child star, but also kind of just our life, because we have 18 kids. Yeah, we do. It's E.T. Kids and Counting, so it's 18. Is one of them I'd?

Well, one of them has a really long neck, and we've been wondering. Well, I've been wondering because I remember that we had sex one time, but I didn't. Slow down, slut. Slow down slut. Slow down. Slut, slow down. Slow down, slut. You move too fast. Slow down, penis breath. Slow down, slut, you move to fast. All right. And we hold that our... Yeah. Okay. I'm supposed to guess Paul?

Yeah. Well, and no. No, no, no. I'm guessing you. I'm going through a nasty divorce. No. Oh. So disappointed. I'm so sorry. Wait, I thought I heard yours and then I forget what it was. Well, do you want to know his? Yeah, Paul. What is yours?

Penis breath. It's penis breath. Great. You always find a good way to bring them in. Thank you. The steely dam. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That was Lou Reed. It was Louie. Oh, yeah, that's right. Great character. Do you know what mine was? I can't remember, I can't remember what I thought. I marked something in my head and then I went, okay, and then I just completely forgot. So I don't remember.

Okay, I said it a few times. Hold on. No, nothing. Mine was slow down. Oh. Okay. I said it right at the beginning. I made it into slow down slut, which then I was like, well, it's not that because why would it be that?

Yeah. I said slow down, slow down. Yeah. Okay. I was not able to guess yours, Lauren. Them's the brakes. I did say it. You said it a few times.

I don't even remember hearing that. I know you were talking over it. Oh, well, that's my fault too. That doesn't seem fair. But I did say it in a few times. She threw it in again because... I wanted to be sure you heard. Was I talking still, though?

Yeah. That's true. That's a good point. All right. Why don't we go back to a word and it's got to be at least five syllables. Okay, so text. I'll text you, Lauren. We'll go back to.

the original way. What? Other way. Sorry, yeah, I'll text Paul. Yes, and I'll text Lauren. Okay, so I'm texting Paul. All right. And we're doing phrase again?

No, we're doing one word that has to be at least five syllables. Five syllables? Yes. That's a, that's like, that's a lot. Okay. All right, I have texted Paul. My. Scott's got my word.

I've texted Lauren. Okay. Incredible. And I have not received Lawrence at this point. Still waiting for that thing. Oh, here it is. Yep, got it. That ding never came.

The ding never came. The ding never came. The ding is not happening with the three of you. The ding never came. It's happening when someone else texts me. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Very interesting.

Well, because you opened the text. No, I didn't. It just alerted. Okay, anyway. No, yours. Like, when I sent you it, you opened it. Oh, but I waited. for the ding. And then it popped up

on the thing didn't ding and so I open it. Anyway, here we go. We don't need to argue about it. Why do you want the ding? Now I love the ding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't hear it, I get thick. Carnival time, carnival time. Step right up. Oh, I've never been to the carnival

before. I guess it's carnival time. It's 545 a.m. It's carnival time. Come on out of your houses. Yes, I was just on my way to mass. I saw there. It's carnival time. I'm in the mood for a card. I was jogging. Up and at them, folks.

Come over here and slam the bell. Slam the bell. I have always wanted to slam the bell. Tell me, do you have any weird freaks in there? We do. We got a bearded lady. Okay. That's not, I wouldn't say that's a freak.

You have somebody with elephantitis? Oh, it's an elephant with a long tail. I was trying to just. Oh, I was hoping to see a freak. Somebody was elephantitis or mononucleosis or aderexia nervosa. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can we hurry this along, please?

Sure. What's the rush? Well, I don't know whether I want to go into this carnival, so if she could speak a little more expeditiously, it would really be better for me because I would be able to try to hit the ding. All right. I'll give it a go. Do you want to go?

I'd love to hit the ding. Hit the dig then. All right, here we go. Ready? And abricadabra. Wow. Really beautiful. You hit it most propitiously.

most indubitably the most interesting thing I've seen these days all right I'm sure to you this seems like a mere triviality may I smash the dig please smash the dig sir we're waiting for you to smash the dig hit it most readily Geronimo

oh he's overcompensating something in his body told him he needs to try harder to prove that he's a man All right. Okay, here we go. Most indubitably. Unconditionally. All right, all right, all right.

We've all said our word. All right, Lauren, can you guess what Paul's word was? She gave me the word. No, I gave you. Oh, you gave me the word. No, no, no. It was, it was early on. Hold on.

Was it early? Once we hear it, we should write it down. I know. God, what the fuck was it? Because then you started taking a bunch of words

that were wrong. Oh my God, what was it? I don't remember. I did know. I did know. Hold on. Wait,

give me a hint. But then the scene got too deep. I know, I know. I was my character. Yeah. Wait, give me a hint. It was something that I said early on.

Just say it. Just, yeah. We'll, if he says it and you knew it. Okay, yeah. I'll know if I knew it. Yeah. Okay.

Mononucleosis. No. That wasn't my God. Oh, what? Really? Yeah, yeah. I thought you put anorexia and nervosa. You said a few different things at that same time.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you must have gotten excited about elephantitis because it really opened you up to be able to say that. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Paul, are you going to guess mine? Uh, I want to say abracadabra. I said that to throw you off. It was expeditiously. Expeditiously. Expeditiously. Expeditiously.

Okay, and what was my... I thought expeditiously was to throw me off. Ah. And that Everett could ever be in the second one. Right. I forgot that I was supposed to pay attention to you. I was paying attention to Paul again. See, it's really hard.

It's really, this game is hard. I told you. I don't even know. I don't have a guess. Overcompensating. Oh, good, good. Good. This is a good game.

And contrary to popular belief, it wasn't most indubitably, which I couldn't stop saying. Most indubitably. It was very bill-inted. Not even one word. Most indubitably, dude. Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. I mean, what I like about that game is we have fun playing it. Yeah.

What I like about the game. Do, do, do, do, do, do. We have fun playing it. Look, if you want to hear, we haven't talked about three visiting on the twos for a while. Boy, that's true. Earlier episodes from the beginning are coming out on Tuesdays. We like to call it three visiting on the twos. They're coming out for free from behind the paywall.

If you're listening without ads, which you could do at Stitcher Premium or at CBB World, you won't hear those because they're all up there behind the paywall without ads. Exactly. But if you're listening to the free version, that's on Tuesdays. If you want to call us, you can call us at. I'm pointing a poll. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Haag claims eight.

Hague claims eight. The number eight. The number eight. And if you want to write to us, good luck. Freedom USA gmail.com. Yeah. And if you want to... Oh, no, that's it.

Instagram. Oh, Instagram. Yeah, all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love you, Piss Pigs. Thank you so much for listening. And let us know how the poll goes. Yes.

We'll be monitoring it closely. But let us know how it goes, though. R slash Freedom. We're going to be monitoring it closely, but you let us know how it's. Yeah, so we know that we're not crazy. Yeah, please keep track of that poll. And let us know. And really, everyone go vote because it does make a difference because you might be sitting here and

Well, everyone's going to vote for my thing. No, they're not. No, that's why we vote for what you believe. Yes. Vote your conscience. Vote your conscience. Should Reggie Miller become an honorary piss pig? Yeah.

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