Threedom - Threevisiting: Trippin Dots

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about Nermal, a baseball game, and do some MadLibs. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop

Lemonada. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. And that means you must not know about me. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless characters, characters. Well, these guys are kind of characters. I'm talking about big wireless carriers. They also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless.

I finally got fed up with that crazy high wireless bill. bogus fees and a free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile. I advise you to do the same. I care about you. Stop overpaying for wireless just because that's how it's always been, a disgusting attitude that thwarts progress. Mint exists purely to fix that.

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high-speed data. in unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. FiveGh! Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes, and start saving immediately. No long-term contracts, and that means no hassle. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from MintMobile for 15 bucks a month.

Look, if I had needed this product, that's what I'd use, but I don't have a phone. I do all my business by Pigeon. If you like your money, MintMobil is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com slash threidium. Threidium? No. Freedom.

Why did we call it threedium? Mintmobile.com slash freedom. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five-gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only than full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Ho-ho-ho, ho. Mint Mobile. Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser

Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music. Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her, lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon music included with Prime. You had so much time to hang out. Oh my God, I had the best time. What did you do? Look how tan I am. Wow. Paul got here early, and he also said all three three freedoms early. Were you just in the pool for the whole song? Yes. Yeah.

Paul, how early did you arrive to the recording today? How early did you arrive? I'll put it at 90 minutes. That's about 90. Door was locked. Door was locked. It was like, what the fuck? Which you sent me an irritated text. Knock knock.

How do you know it was irritated? Because I take everything, every text is irritated. Ah, that's a lot. So what were you doing at 10 a.m? That you couldn't just do an episode with him to sit. I should have. It leaves spaces for you to talk. Yeah.

Yeah. We should do one episode like that where one of us is scripted and the other is not. And we never say who it is. Great. I think it'd be pretty clear. Can you just hear the shuffling of papers? That would be the only clue. I kind of do like that idea.

Oh, thank you so much. I think we should script a whole episode and not tell people that it's scripted. Yes. I don't like that idea. That sounds like work. Oh, yeah. What if we just record one, write it all out, and then re-record it, reading our lines. I'm sorry, that's funny.

But it'll hit a very short. stilted way. No, do as best you can. I think, I've done that several times with Rob Hewbel and Tom Lennon. You've done what? That idea where they reenact the conversation they had on the first episode of comedy bang. Really?

From a transcript? From a transcripts. I'm so sick of my ideas being done already. I know, the Simpsons did it. But what if we did it like we're reading court transcripts? Yeah, yeah. And we say, Paul. Yeah, we say our names before we say our lines.

Paul. We say our names before. we say our lines. Yeah. Paul, you don't laugh during a court transcript. Paul, you don't laugh during a court transcript. Lauren. What's the funniest court transcript?

Oh, I, there is the one. When that juggling guy jumped off into a crocodile's mouth and he farted on his way down. I got to look it up. There's a great one. But I forget, you're a big true crime buff. I love, well, because I watched Dateline. I don't really anymore. You know, I used to like Dateline a lot.

and I don't know what changed, but Mike really doesn't care for that kind of true crime. And so that's part of it. What kind does he like? Well, I don't think he's really into like the bite-sized husband-killed-wife storylines. Bight-sized? You know, like I sort of like... Like a quiby.

He doesn't even listen to true to, what is it called? True Crime. I just started almost had true life. But he listens more to like last podcast on the left, but they get into like stuff like that, but then they'll delve very deeply into it. Are you sure he doesn't just listen to, like, chess moves.

He does do that. Over and over. He watches chess games. Night two, pawn three. Literally. I don't know what's going on. He's very excited because one of his guys is in the World Cup. He's guys.

Wait, is in what World Cup? Chess. Oh. Who were his guys? Magnet. Oh, he would laugh because I don't know. Magnus. Magnet?

Magnus. And then the one name that I'd have to read out loud. I had dinner with Mike Castle last night. You did. How was that? My Castle and Joey Greer. We had a wonderful time. He said he had a great time.

It was really fun. I thought, I was going to text you and say you're going to stand them up because you've been avoiding Joey's face times every time you guys. That would have been that book. Yeah, it would have been an abrick or a book. Well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all of these hot stories and dirty things. Ew.

Tells me how much she wants to suck up. There's a really funny. I'm just looking for it. Did you enjoy the food? But that wasn't him, was it? No, that was someone reading it. Do you know, I did enjoy the food. Oh, here it is.

Okay. Can I say? More on that later. Okay. Well, I fool around sometimes I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all of these hot stories and dirty things. Why are you bringing us up right now that you want to talk about what girl? We talk about the funniest.

No, I'm just acting as if it's you doing it. So a girl seduces me and tells me all of these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me. No one says someone wants to suck on me. Just say penis. my shoes off and lick my feet? Say penis. Say, yeah. When I'm in a limousine, she takes off all of her clothes.

No one wants to suck Donald Sterling's toes. The limo driver said, what is going on? He'll lick his feet, though. And she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Coon's house. And I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good. Stop saying she's sucking me. Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?

I remember that. No, that's really what I remember that. I remember that. What a freak. I feel remiss because I don't. think I've thanked enough of my sexual partners for the sex. From when you're like, thanks. Well, I think you should always say thank you for sucking me.

Everyone I've ever had sex with. For getting me up here. I appreciate it. For getting it. You didn't even help me getting up here. I just appreciate it. If I didn't say so before, I'm saying it now. Wait.

So, yes, I like the food. It was, it was very rich. I had a very rich, a cavitelli with a lamb ragu. Without naming this restaurant because I just don't feel like it. they do have a menu that's handwritten and the lighting is very dark. Now, I find those to be issues. Okay, what's worse? Dark handwritten menu or QR code menu?

At that point, I'd rather have a QR code. I'm kind of sick of QR's. I'm kind of sick of QR's, but I'd rather that than read a shaky handwritten in the dark. I also went to a place the other day that didn't even say anything. They just sat you down. There was a little tiny thing on the table that if you weren't looking for it. Yeah, on a shelf. Hey.

Hey, check out this QR code. I thought that QR code was a little pimp. It was just a little tiny thing that you could miss if you weren't looking for it. And then no one ever came by for another 10 minutes. And it was like, oh, I guess here's. They never said like, there's the QR code. They need to say. Because also QR codes pre-pandemic were like something you had completely ignored.

And they were like maybe to enter a sweepstakes. The absolute last thing I'm going to do is point my phone. I'm not doing that. fucking shit. Now it's like we're expected to do every fucking day. And I don't, but you know what I don't like

is like I don't like looking at my phone when I'm with a friend. So if I'm looking at the menu on the phone, it feels like I'm looking at something else. Because then you love doing one over the net. You switch over to Instagram. I start liking. I start texting people.

Did you see earbuds in? Yeah. Jim Cavizel in his intros for that movie. He just did. Cabozel. Cabazzal. Has a Pepper Incorporate. We're going to do it.

We're going to QR it. Um, he's like, okay, uh, I know this is, he's like, you, you wonder how to get involved and help out. I know this is weird. I know it's weird to do in a theater, but just take out your phone and point it at this QR code down here at the bottom. I know it's a strange thing to do, but you can, it's okay to do it. Oh, fuck strange.

What? Where is this happening? You know, at a movie theater? Yeah, the movie you just put out the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Q movie. I don't know. You put out a Qonon movie? Yeah.

Boy, oh boy. Is this real? Yeah. Boy, oh boy. And I made like $100 million or something. Is this real? Yes. Did he do this with his one friend, Mel Gibson?

I don't know what this is. It's a movie about... A documentary? No, it's a fictional movie about... And pardon me if I get any of these details wrong. Pardon me. I'll excuse you. It's about a real life person who, in the movie, he goes around saving children from

child trafficking. Oh, yes. In real life, the person didn't do any of that. Okay. And, but, but it's, it's, it's a QAnon movie that's meant to, uh, traumatize people to child trafficking so much that they get involved in QAnon, essentially. Yeah, and they just start shooting people all over the place. Yes, exactly.

So, but anyway, he, he, but in real life, he did not save children, but he did traffic children. Yes. Something like that. Yeah. Nice. The guy who, who invested was the biggest investor in this one. Allegedly. People who...

Sure. People hide in plain sight. It happens all the time. I'm hiding in plain sight right now, and you guys are looking right now. Whoa. I found you. You know, Mike and I started watching recently, which is almost a true crime doc, was this sort of docu series about glee and the sort of like the curse of the cast.

The curse of the cast of glee. Has more than one person died? Yes. Yes. How many? Two? Three. That is a curse.

Yeah. Wait. I don't even want. Speaking of Mike, I had dinner with him last night. Of course you did. Yeah. And how was that? It was very good.

With Joey Greer. The food is very rich. We had great time. Food was very rich. Afterwards went to see a show. You did. He came home. Yes.

Chris Smith, very funny actor. Did this show called acting for a time such as this. I've seen your post and I really want to see this. That guy's really funny. This show is Walt Wall to All laughs and I was laughing so, like deep laughing so much that I only threw up. That's the best ever. Because of the dinner. Oh my God.

Oh. Not because I'm enjoying. Not because of how funny it was. No, it was funny, but usually I can find things funny without funny plus throwing up. Funny plus dinner equals throw up. But I was really like, what do I do here because I am still enjoying the show? Yeah.

What, how, is there a way I can curb this feeling? So tragedy plus time equals comedy. Yeah. Comedy plus dinner equals vomit. Yeah. Wow. That makes sense. So tragedy plus time plus dinner equals vomit.

Mm-hmm. Paul, you're falling asleep. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. Wake up, Paul. Hey, wake up, Paul. Hey, Polly. It was going on, Paul. Oh, my God.

Am I still asleep? Hey, Paul. Were you friends from your dreams. But you look like Scott and Lauren. Well, that's what you think. You only know it's from your dreams. Because you can only imagine it's looking like someone you know. Yeah.

Who else do you know? I'd love to look like them. Who else do I know? You know anyone? I look at a question. Name Janie now. Name a hundred people you know. No, I don't know him.

I know of him. You're awake. What, Paul, Paul, Paul, are you right? The son of the Christ. He woke up singing passion of the Christ. Oh, my God, again. Normal. Normal.

I have to stop doing this. Normal? Normal. So cute. Who is Nirmal? She's the gray cat from Garfield. Is it a she? I didn't know Nirmal.

Had a gender. Nermal's his girlfriend. I'm going to look up Nermel's. What are you talking about? Lauren. Get it, get the facts going. Normal is the, is the cutest cat that Garfield's jealous of.

Male. Nermal is a small gray male. Let me see. Let me see. With thick eyelashes. Show me the picture. There's no picture.

This is words. There's no picture. Do you want? There's a picture. Google didn't serve up a picture. In a shocking development, Garfield has been converted. to words. I'm sorry, that looks like a romantic

image with the hearts. The popular comic strip will from now on just be Jim Davis writing down what he thinks happens to Garfield. And not funny either. Garfield meets Norma, male cat who has long eyelashes. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The spreaders

are saying. This is the live read of Garfield comics. This is huge. This is huge. What? His dick? Yeah. Some fans have mistaken Nermal for a female kitten because of his eyelashes. His seemingly feminine personality. And the feminine sounding tone of his voice on Garfield and Friends.

Okay. How many signs do we need? Hold on. Jim Davis often gives younger characters eyelashes, including Garfield himself in the Garfield segment of Garfield, his nine lives and Orson at the beginning of the U.S. Acres comic strip. Okay. The Garfield segment of Garfield.

Yeah. The Latin American dub of Garfield and Friends. This is maybe what you were watching. Normal renamed Telma and his gendered changed to female after season one telma was changed back to normal despite this normal's gender only changed back to male near the end of this series okay the interesting thing there is the reason why not the timeline why did they change it why do they change it back because the eyelashes I think because people were just like who is that's not a guy they were like that's telma okay yeah that's telma

it's not normal I think it should be illegal for for normal to change to telma normal also And vice versa. Don't be a stop, Normal. To me, Nirmal's a woman's name. Yeah. It's a beautiful name.

It's stunning. I love it. You almost named Holly Nermal. I almost did. But then I learned in the future that it was actually a boy cat, and I thought that might get a little confusing, so I just didn't.

And then you memory wiped yourself until right now. Mm-hmm. And here I am. But things are so fluid nowadays. I think normal could be a genderless name. Normal could be whatever he wants to be, or she or they. Well, yeah.

But I think, you know, what it is as a child when I'm watching a show, they're showing a long-eylashed cat that looks female. When I'm a child, I'm watching a show? I see a long-eyelish cat? In this house? It's a female. Yeah. There is a long Reddit thread, Nirmals' gender debate.

Well, Google solved it in one fell swoop. But what do they say on it? Do that. Google solves it when it's self-s-swoop. See what comes up. Keep the conversation civil, though, and no downvoting. No downvoting You should be allowed to downvote

You can just say it's a bad opinion I refuse to believe Nirmal is a boy Boy this is a lot of things I'm getting on there later The six most misgender characters on TV When was this written? Pat

Okay this is three months ago The six most misgendered characters on TV Okay Oh only six months ago Who do you think is in there Hooty? Bluey Blue who do you

What do you think Bluey is? Bluey is female, but it's very easy to call bluey male because blue dog. Blue is a male color. It's a blue dog. Yeah. It's just easy. Okay, tails in Sonic the Hedgehog. Is a woman?

Sure. I don't know. So they don't tell you what it is? I don't know. Don Draper. People just make the mistake. Because people think it's Dawn Draper. Don Draper.

Okay. Is her full name, Dondripper. Don Dipper. Don Dipper. Why? What? Go on. Why does that sound any more like a...

Don Dripper? Oh, it's a beautiful name. A woman's name. Oh, hello, Don Draper. The voyage of the Dondripper. You were close. Blue in Blue's Clues. Is...

I don't know. Oh, is in fact a girl puppy. It doesn't have, like, facts about it underneath. I have to read paragraphs. It doesn't even list which gender it is. It's a bad article. Spot in TNG. No one knows what that is.

The cat of data. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah, that cat is often misgendered. Tweedy Bird. Tweety Bird is female. At the end of the day, Tweety Bird is a male canary. And I did it. And I just did it.

But what happens before the end of the day? I just did that. Bluey from Bluey, whoa. Thank you. Bluey's gender is never addressed, but make no mistake, Bluey is a girl, and so is her sister. Bingo. Bingo.

Well, I often say, I often will. say, oh, oh, get blue. She needs to. He's over there, blah, blah, blah. And then I go, I'm misgendering blueie. Does Holly know? Does Holly say, mom, I hate you? No, you know, I don't think she is on that level yet. Are you worried about that when she's going to be like 13 or whatever?

That would hurt my feelings a lot. But, you know. It's going to be like slamming doors. How many times have you told your parents you hate them? I actually don't think that I ever said. Ever did? I don't know that I ever said, I hate you. I don't think I...

I wasn't really punished in a way where screaming at them would make sense. Did you ever let them know? I think I let them know. You should tell them. I'm on their deathbeds. Yeah, but I hate you. I've always wanted to tell you.

I've never really said it, but I hate you. I know we don't talk about this much. About feelings much. I despise you. Goodbye forever. I think if you parent right, they'll never say it. Yeah. Interesting theory.

Yeah, if you do it perfectly. If you do it, you just got to do a perfect game. Should be good. Yeah. How hard could it be? Because you just remember the things that you didn't like about being a kid. And you're like, well, I will never do those things. Exactly.

And then your child will have no problems. And nothing you do could be annoying to them. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, can you picture a day when, uh, when Emmy's screaming at you and saying, give me the fucking keys to the car, dad? I'm not going to let her drive. Like Martin Luther King did.

He did that. I see a day. When Emmy is yelling at that. Is that his second most famous quote? Give me the first. fucking keys the card. Did I say, can you see the day? Yeah.

Well, it'll be crazy. Guys, I have to tell you. Reality recap. Yeah. Oh, I've got some updates over there. We just finished season four of Vanderpump Rules. Oh, my God, you're doing it. God, you're really cranking him out.

For people, I don't, I can't remember if I've talked about this or not. Well, you haven't talked about season four. I can't remember the last time we recorded. Me neither. And we may not have been watching it then. But friends urged us to, okay, so here's what we know about present day Fanderpup. All we know is there's a scandal. It's referred to as scandal vall.

So we have an idea of one person that's involved. Do you really missed all of the news? We had no idea. Well, I didn't know who these people are, but I know a lot of what happened. Do you think scandals in general will eventually be called scandal balls? Yeah, absolutely. Because this one's so popular. It's just easier to say.

Yeah. So we don't know what the scandal is. We want to keep it that way. We're excited that we don't know. I want to keep it that way, dude. I want to keep it that way, dude. I don't know what the scandal is. I don't want to keep it that way, dude.

Yeah, nobody, nobody tell him. So we are watching the show. We have a few people. But here's my question. You have some sussex. Before he talks him before you talk. There's people you are talking to. I was trying to get him back on track,

interrupting you because you were interrupting. I was on track. No, no, no, no. You're doing great. But you have friends who've watched it who are guiding you a little bit or telling you're checking out. That's literally what I was about to say. But I know, but I'm going to ask you something. You, because some people might want to know what the Scandival is so you can look for the signs earlier.

Like Mr. Rogers said. So is that something that look for the helpers? Signs, signs. Oh, no, we are. That's exactly what we're doing. So you're trying to figure out what it is. Yes. But you don't want to know, because some people might think if you knew the details, that's more fun because then you can watch.

No, no. We want to see the subtle physical. You want to feel the full impact of it. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Because all we know is like for long time watchers of the show, it rocked their world. Are you, are you putting guesses in and into like sealed envelopes?

Do you know what? Yeah, of course we are. But. And mailing them tears. We actually don't. We have not discussed what we think it is. And we don't really like, as we're watching the show, we don't say, I wonder if it has to do with that. We, we are just, I, I think that Jane is probably doing the same thing I am, which is,

wondering internally like does this have to there's been like a few things where like is this the beginning of it and then we have no but of course we have no idea because it's not going to pay off for another time ago yeah yeah for I'm sorry that you know the famous quote that's a Bitcoin already

that I don't mind looking forward to I don't know that I fucking hate that guy so much he's truly terrible and it's weird that we're okay so we've been binging this show and I don't think you're supposed to watch reality TV this way.

Because it feels disgusting. It feels disgusting that we are into it and then we keep watching it. It feels disgusting to discuss the character's motives when they're doing something as if it's all real life. It feels bad. Yeah. And it feels bad that we are sucked into it. Yeah. So deeply.

I find it very. Thank you, but we're still going to do it. I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know I know the early Cs. From what I hear are all about people who work at the same place, which I think is fine. Then it becomes like none of them work there anymore. They're all influencers. And then it becomes the friend group in quotes.

All right. Even though none of them... Now you've told me too much. Have I really? Well, yeah. Yeah, I think you are saying when you go and then it becomes and then it becomes... Well, no, no. What I'm trying to say is is like this is every reality show these days is like they

start out working together. They call them. And this is all of the housewives is they call themselves the friend group when it's They don't know. They're not a friend group. They are people who have been put together on a TV show and they've been told that they have to call themselves the friend. Even now at the end of season four where they are all still working in the same place, except for like one, two people, I think, don't work there anymore. They're using the term friend group.

Right. And a really funny thing of the one monster. Don't kick each other. I'm not kicking her. I'm kicking towards her. He's like, listen to him. He goes, listen to him to Paul's saying. stupid.

The one steroid monster named Jaxe who said, I'm the number one guy. Stop acting like you're the number one guy in this group.

I'm the number one guy in this group, which is a really funny way to think about yourself. Who's the number one person in this group? That's psychotic.

Well, it's me. Okay. Giving main character energy. All right, we have to take a break. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it.

And that means you must not know about me. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless characters, characters. Well, these guys are kind of characters. I'm talking about big wireless carriers. They also seem to like keeping my money, too. After years of overpaying for wireless. I finally got fed up with that crazy high wireless bill. Bogus fees and free perks that actually costs more in the long run.

and I switched to Mint Mobile. I advise you to do the same. I care about you. Stop overpaying for wireless just because that's how it's always been, a disgusting attitude that thwarts progress. Mint exists purely to fix that. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month.

All plans come with high-speed data in unlimited talk and text, delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Bring your own phone and number, activate with e-sim in minutes, and start saving immediately. No long-term contracts, and that means no hassle. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from MintMobil for $15 a month. Look, if I had needed this product, that's what I'd use, but I don't have a phone. I do all my business by Pigeon. If you like your money, MintMobil is for you.

shop plans at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com slash threidium. Threedium? No. Freedom. Why didn't we call it threedium? Mintmobile.com slash freedom. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five-gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month.

New customer offer for verse three months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. Mint Mobile for details. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Mint Mobile. If you know me, you know I love clothes. I'm kind of a bit of a horse about them. And lately, I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day,

leaning into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable and still put together like my fashion idol, the late Diane Keaton. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my good to, go-to for you. The fabrics feel elevated. The fits are flattering, and everything just works without overthinking it.

Quince makes it easy, refresh your every day this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look. They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses, and tops started $30 and are effortless, breathable, and easy to wear on repeat. Everything at Quince has priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. That sounds good. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen so you're paying for

quality and craftsmanship, not brand markup. Look, Quince has been very good to me. I just got some linen pieces that I'm going to be taking with me on the road as I go on tour this summer. I need to be comfortable and I need to look sharp. So I'm accomplishing both. Thank you, Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash freedom for free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash freedom. I'm Dr. Susan Swick, a child psychiatrist and the host of Talkaboutable. This season, I'm talking with parents and experts about how we tackle the everyday challenges of raising kids. We'll get real about those pebble and the shoe issues we all face as parents and how to build resilience and community through our own experiences.

Talk Aboutable Season 2 from Lemonada Media in partnership with Montage Health, and their Ohana Center for Child and Family Mental Health is out now. And we're back. And I wanted to say, I went to a Dodger game the other day. Paul, fans of baseball will be interested in this. I won. I went to a Dodger game recently. Really?

Which one? Oh. Number... They played... How many games are the Dodgers played? Number they played the Yankees? They play 275 games a year. Is that how?

I was watching. And what? How many, like, how many total? Have they kept track of that? The Dodgers have played, I think it's half a billion games. Is it true? This current team. If you're counting Brooklyn.

This current team. No, Lauren. I got to look at it up. How many games have the Dodgers won? No, I just want to say play. Play. And then it says this season, no. I just want to know.

In history. In history, yes. Hey, Lauren. What are you doing? I noticed. I noticed something in my shoe. I don't think there's any. Borg is taking her shoe off,

she's rooting around in it. Well, because I kind of noticed there's this piece of fabric in there. 140 seasons. There's no information regarding this. No one has ever counted this. We could be the first ones. No one's ever counted it.

Somebody out there has a thing where they count them. That's their thing. Yes. Oh, wait, wait, wait. These old people are freaks. Their record is 11,310 to 9,8,8,9. so that means that there's about 20,000 games. So which one did you go to?

Like 20,000 and three? It was probably 20,000. I'll tell you something like that. So I go to a... Unless I let them play the game and they're like, all running on the bases. What's on the basels? I didn't know what was going on at all.

I literally was like... What's that stick there holding? I couldn't understand the fucking score sign. I was like, Stephanie, what is that? It's too complicated now. I was looking for just the score when I was there. And I was like, where? I feel crazy, though.

But it didn't used to be like that because I was like, I remember going to games growing up and not being confused. No, because the guy would come out. He would take the card off, put another card on. But the score was always pretty prominent in the old days where, and then there were a few things above it. Now it's a ton of info that you're just trying to cars. So many numbers. And also don't get you starting to the ads. I can't even. I like when all the LED screens like switch over to one ad and it's for Forest Lawn.

The cemetery? The cemetery? Well, in case people don't know. But also, that's crazy. I don't need an ad for a cemetery. I'll figure it out. Once I'm there. I'm very close. Everyone's going to figure out where they need to go when that's going on. Do you think I would bet baseball is the sport with the oldest fan base? Probably. I don't... Holo?

But... I mean, you have to be like old and rich. We're talking mains. We're talking baseball. We're going to be old like polo. No, but you have to be rich. but most people aren't rich until they're old. Well, there's generational wealth. Sure. From those old rich people at the polo game.

That's exactly right. So there must be a lot of young people there. Who's playing? I mean, those are the people playing. It's literally a rich amount of school. How old is the average polo fan? 47. Polo magazine offers that.

The average polo fan How old is the average baseball fan? 35 to 44. That makes sense. No, sorry, 25 to 34. 25 to 34. No MLB has the oldest fans among the major sports with the average age of 57. That's what someone else says.

Okay, then stop reading facts before you know what they are. Learn to separate facts from fiction. Because we just heard three different takes. Well, those are the top three responses. The top of the responses are every age of an adult. MLB has the oldest It didn't happen Uh-uh

The average Impossible Do you know what I'm doing Okay NBA No no No Oh yeah yeah That thing

That that That John Quignonias Or whatever that Not him But the guy from the 80s Who's like What in this unsolved mystery Didn't happen

Is that what you're talking about When it's like It's all those kids It's whatever is it? No No it's like It's Jonathan Frakes Oh yeah

Beyond Belve Beyond Believe fact or fiction I always love that mean There's like a super cut of him. Yeah, it's great. It's just so funny when it's like a meme. NBA is 42. NHL is 49.

NFL is 50. MLB 57. Yeah, I called it. You did call it. Wow. Thank you. And Polo 47. According to Polo, Max, it's a young man sport.

It's almost our birthdays. It is almost our birthday. You know, I've never got into my story. We're September babies. You have a birthday? You have a story? I was at the baseball game. Oh.

Then what happened? Well, I wanted to say, I didn't know we were allowed to say I never got to my story Well same, I never got to my story About reality TV, who cares? I let so many go Yeah, I didn't realize

Well, you'll be interested in this one. They're sailing away. It's not even a story. Settle, sail away. That's what I call Orinoco Flow. And that's what I call Enya's Revenge. There was a compilation CD. That's what I call Ornoco Flow.

It was just that song. Volume 70. This person doesn't know about the repeat button They think they have a compilation, but they don't. It's like, I have this compilation of this one song. It's just a CD single. I think it's the same version, too. Repeat.

No, that's what I call or her and uncle float. She loves it so much. We need a t-shirt, this, and then the back of just 12 tracks of orinocle flow. I feel like now that's what I call series is disingenuous, because you would feel like the first volume would be it. It's like, now that's what I call music. But who's, uh? Well, exactly.

Because they're not. God. Are these supposed to be God? Who's doing it? Because I mean, I feel like, now that's what I call music. That just shook my moment. Started with like, everybody dance now. So I'm at the baseball game.

And then what hop on? So I'm at the baseball. His new thing is going, what happened? What happened? I'm at the baseball game and I'm sitting in my seat. Oh, my God. You can spare us some details. Yeah, God.

Were you wearing jeans and a t-shirt? I'm watching the game with my eyes, occasionally blinking. Great, I'm happy for you. Then what? Who are you with? I was with. Okay, this is all unnecessary detail. I was with.

Okay, so we, so Kool-op was supposed to buy five tickets. and she ended up only buying four. Flaiming the woman. Yeah. The one who was supposed to buy the tickets yet. Right. And luckily I was like, hey, where are we sitting the night before? And she goes, oh, let me look at the tickets.

Otherwise, we would have all, all five of us would have arrived at the place. So if you stayed home. So her sister stayed home. That's all right. Our nephew, it was our nephew and Kulap's mother. Okay. Kulap and I. Okay, the four of us.

Your core four. Core 4. And this comes into play because I... Much like baseball. So it's not unnecessary information. I bought the... This is a side story. I bought the...

What do you call it? Hot dogs. No, the... A pennant. The 50-50 ticket. Oh, the 50-50? Sure. What does that mean?

Where they keep half the money and they give half the money to whoever wins. What? It's like an instant lottery. Where everyone buys a ticket. Oh, I think of the team who wins. I'm like, why would they get the money?

Oh, yeah. He's hilarious. No, you pay, you pay... We raise an additional $25,000 for the open days. You pay $10 and you get five tickets and then... Okay. The team keeps $5 and the... And whoever wins gets the other half.

The pot. Yes, exactly. So I was like, if I won, I was going to split it up and then I realized, oh, that would be unfair to the sister who was going to come who didn't have the ticket. So I was like, all right, I'll split this. five ways. Yeah, the odds of you winning are astronomical. But then I started to think like... Decision worthy of King Solomon himself. But then I started to think should cool up and I take one for herself, only one chair? I would say, probably, yeah. I don't know. Anyway, I had plans to split a

five way. Oh, it was $52,000 or something like that. So I was like, oh, I'll split of five ways. But it would make more sense for you to keep one and split of four ways though at 52. Then you're talking What is that? No, I think 14,000. Anyway, God, I don't care. So,

so I'm, I, I order from a concessions person Hot dog, please. One of the, no, no. That's what you said.

Do they sell hot dogs? By hand? A Dodgers game? No, by hand. Walking around, walking around, Hot dogs? I don't think so.

They only sell, like, stationary hot dogs, right? Yeah, you have to go get a hot dog, but I think you can get your peanuts. Hot dogs don't come to you. You go to them.

In, Daja? Hot dog. Because then you're going like, I need relish. I need mustard. I need ketchup. Yes, they did used to. Yeah.

Those were good days. Those were the good old days. I'd love to have a hot dog at the Dodgers game right now. What if I'd have some hot dogs upstairs. What if Paul and I wrestle while you eat a hot dog? Sure. You're just saying I want to eat a hot dog while I watch a sport? Why are we?

Yeah. Oh. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So then what happened?

Because this was a tangent. So what was the main? So the main is that I, there's a concessions gentleman who has. Have you done with us before? Who has the. That was a delicious tangent. I would say, if you get four tangents, by the way, I fucking, that has to be over now. What?

Shared plates. Hold on. I went to a restaurant the other day for the first time. And they're like, have you ever dined with us before? I'm like, here we go. And of course they're talking about tapas. And he's like, okay, this is chef Andreas. who revolutionized the tapas in America.

And all of these... Now I know who to buy them. All of these are meant to be, of course, to be shared. And they recommend one appetizer per person plus one plate. And then two mains plus a plate. And it's like, and I look down at the prices and everything is like $49. Yeah, everything's full price. Well, that's crazy.

These aren't sharing prices now. Get the fuck out of it. I do have a place that I'm enjoying lately that is a share. And I'm not going to blow up the spot. I'm not going to blow it up. I'll just tell you. You'll tell us off mic. But I've been enjoying, I go there with two people about once a month.

We're actually switching our location next month. But we like the same things. You know what I mean? So it's very easy. If you're going, I also went to that same place with two people where one had different dietary restrictions. I didn't mess up the whole situation. I'll eat anything.

I'll eat. Shit, I'll eat anything. Don't eat grapefruit, motherfucker. I want, you know, we always say that. And everyone, what's weird is we can't have grapefruit because. of both Kulap and I are both on a statin, which is a cholesterol drug. And it inhibits the enzyme in your body. Or else it gets the hose again.

Yes. So, but it's pretty common, I think. But what's weird is everyone, you go to a restaurant, they all say, like, do you have any dietary restrictions? We both say, oh, grapefruit. And everyone looks at us like, we're crazy. Like that you both are like, no grape food. It's like it's a little specific. No, grateful, please.

And how common is it in a dish, etc. But I think it's a common drug that a lot of people take. But people don't know this because I'm saying I never heard it that till right now. But now I'll respect that. Yeah, but the things you don't know could fill a fucking book. Hey. Hey. Hey.

No, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Hey, goodbye. I'm in my car. Look. Okay. My dad's lurched to citrus. So my whole life I've been aware of that. But grapefruit only.

I'm just saying that if you work in the restaurant business, I think it would be a common thing people would go like, oh, I can't have grapefruit because a lot of people are on this drug. But does it also work with other drugs? It's not like grapefruit is not allowed to be used in cooking. Like it's not. No, they had the last restaurant we were at,

they had one grapefruit thing. And they were like, oh, yeah, well, there's a dessert that has grapefruit in it. Other than that, we don't, you know. But most of the time we get, like, grapefruit. Wait. Right. So. fruit at breakfast, but I just really can't do it.

I used to. Yeah. Did you put sugar on it? You know, sometimes I would. Yeah. Okay, so you're at wrestling and you're eating a grapefruit. What happened next? So I order...

I order an ice cream sandwich from the gentleman. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Now you're having a good time. Do you want to get Dippendots to the ice cream of the future? I fucking love Dippendotts. By the way. I love the way they feel in my mouth.

At what point are they the ice cream of the past? I love the way they feel. in my mouth. Yeah, because they're almost canceled. They're almost done. They're almost done, yeah. Like, you know, you'll see at the zoo. You'll see a Dipidot station.

It's not functioning. You know, it's that kind of stuff. I think they took it out of the Universal City AMC. I don't think. I really, if I were to go to the movies and they had Dippendots, I'd be so happy. They tore down my uncle's house to make room for a Dippend Dopp's factory. What?

Wow. And now that place is abandoned. Oh, no. It was such a cute idea. Your uncle should move back in. Yeah, he should. It would be fun, a little bit of factory.

Oh, my God. especially a dip and dots factory could be really silly yeah it could be really silly yeah because if there's any dipping dots left over he could roll around on them or like maybe he'd trip and fall and like you know kind of slip out oh i tripped on a dip and dot so i order an ice cream sandwich it's more like tripping dots and i and i two minutes later shit damn so i i've never been more thankful, but, um... You've never been more thankful than what you're going to say? Uh, but, but I pay for it using a car.

By the way, you... And it went through and you're like, thank God. No, but, but now... One 99. Cool, up still doesn't know. No, it's probably $4. Let's be realistic. No, it was more, I think it was more... Six?

Uh, very probably. For a fucking ice cream bar? Yeah, probably six. I can see it being 10 bucks. I can see it being 10 bucks. I can see it. They jacked the price off. Biden inflation is just gotten out of control. But they, they now it says like tip, you know,

you know, like, and percentage. Tip. And so I'm always. More like tipping dots. Yep. I'm always not for this reason, but I'm always like, yes, of course tip. And I've never been more thankful because he hands me the card back. And he goes, in front of God and everyone, he goes, oh, by the way, I'm a piss pig.

Wow. He's listening right now. He's listening now. Hello to him. What kind of ice cream bar? And he's heard this story get derailed a million times. He's like, they're talking about me. They're talking about me.

Okay, wait. How, what kind of ice cream bar was it? I don't know. Was it like classic ice cream sandwich? Yeah, I think it was a classic sandwich. It was an ice cream sandwich, dear. Okay, but I'm saying. Vanilla with chocolate?

Yeah, classic. Okay. I just felt like he was saying, you didn't remember. But I just started laughing and, you know, Kulap and her family also were laughing because because they didn't know what it meant. Well, now, I also have started to feel like, okay, I used to only get recognized within like one square block over there like over by amoeba records you know basically any business in that area you recognize that i listen to podcast but now i'm starting to feel like i'm recognized

everywhere they just have never had anything to say to me until now right saying i'm a piss pick is a really concise quick way to say hello it's a thing people are dying to say yeah they want to say they are one yes i meet them frequently at dynasty type writer and i'm always happy to me a piss big it's true me too um but a gentleman at work i thought that was very funny to be yeah i'm in front of all of the... By the way, I'm a piss big. It made me laugh. There was a funny thing I had

another day that was like, I don't mean to sound raggy that someone recognized me, but this was a, I was at one of those happy returns places at FedEx or whatever, where you can return something that you bought online from any store,

but then it's like, you take it without a box and you just take it to a happy... Yes. Okay, and then like the lady was like, we were just having a normal interaction, and then she's like, I can say this because I just quit.

I'm a fan. And I was like, you just quit. I love it. that. She's like, I'm out of here. In the middle of your conversation just so she could say that. Yeah, it'd be worth it. By the way, Paul, what you said reminded me then, another person as he was walking by, I feel like I contributed.

As he was walking by, I went, let's go piss pigs. Oh, no. What? That's next level. That's too much. If you start a group chant and nobody knows what it means and people start brawling. And it's to be, do you consider piss to be a curse word? I think piss pig is, it sounds really derogatory. It sounds rude.

Yeah. So I'm going to be yelling it in a public space. I just think punches could be thrown. Yeah, yeah. While they're looking at you. Be careful. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so two, two interactions at the baseball game.

I absolutely love it. Can I talk about the rowdy screening? Oh, I'd love to hear about this. I saw one story that looked fun. Yes, it was really a lot of fun. So this is Scott. Scott hasn't seen Mama Mia. Yes, Mama Mia 2.

Here we go again. Oh, Mama Mia 2. Did a rowdy screening at the Dynasty typewriter theater. Paul was our special guest. He saved the role of Andrew Lloyd Weber. That's right. I love to put on a multi-layered costume in the dead of summer. Uh-huh.

Did you wear it there? This is literally hours before the hurricane. Yeah. Oh, my God, you're right. The hurricane, in quotes. Yeah. Her can't. More like that.

There were two great chants that happened. Okay. A character is revealed to be pregnant, and people started chanting, pregnant, pregnant. Pregnant. And then mere seconds later, another character was revealed to be pregnant. I don't remember that about that movie.

And then the chant went up, also pregnant. Wow. That's really fun. It was really funny. So it's the, it's Amanda Seafred's character is. Is as well as. Spoilers, but yes. Lily.

Lily. Her mom. Mary Street is a young woman. Lily James. Oh, it's the past. Before we go to a break, it was really fun. Back and forth between the past. I forgot.

I've only seen that once. It was very fun. Before we go to a break, me too, by the way. Let's hear the new Fraser theme song. You know how this goes. Oh, no. Hey, baby, I'll hear the blues.

It's Sam singing. Is he lying in bed? Was it always been singing? Maybe I seem a bit confused. This is rocking her world. But I got you pegged. I pegged you. But I don't know what to do

with those tossed salads and scrambled. Amble days. Fraser has re-entered the building. Oh, no. Yeah. I don't think they should say that at the end. I think I should just be the Colin again. Well, this is for the teaser trailer.

No, I know. But that's not the theme? It is, but I think he's saying Frazier has re-entered the building to be like, I understand. I'm coming back. But I'm saying... I don't think you understand. I think just re-recording the theme is fun enough.

Fun enough? Fun enough. It's fun and it's enough. Yeah, it's a hat on a hat. Although I have to say a hat on a hat would look cool. This is the thing. If you put a tiny hat on a beard, in comedy, when you're saying it's a hat on a hat,

you're saying that's too far to go. But a hat on a hat is funny. It's funny. So why do we not want to do that? Can you imagine being in a comic farce? Like a Frazier? Yeah, like Frazier. And entering and there's a hat on your hat,

the audience would die laughing. Oh, that audience? They'd lose their minds. If my hat gets cold, it needs a hat. Yeah. And I'm not trying to be funny. I just want my hat to be warm. Yes.

It's little kid logic. It happens. What if my hat gets cold? It happens. What if that hack gets cold? Now, I need to know more about how Frazier himself ended up singing the song because when he's not a singer. No, he's not known to me as a singer. So when did the-

Neither Frazier nor Kelsey Graham or do you mean- I mean-Raegramer? I mean both, but I'm saying- So in the reality of the show, there's a prequel episode that discusses how he actually came to sing the song. No. Well, in the reality of the show, where's the song coming from? Can the people hear it? Because usually it would be over, it's over the end credits. Well, the end credits are squashed to the side.

Every episode of Fraser. There's a little silent vignette that's happening. Every episode of Frazier happens the 30 minutes before he just happens to sing that song. So whatever the 30 minutes before he sings that song is, that's an episode. Because I- All-Frasher episodes are in real-time. Sometimes is good. Sometimes it's bad.

The song has nothing to do with the premise. No. So then it's like, okay, the act. is singing a random song about tossed salad and scrambled eggs, which by the way, I enjoy the song, okay? I'll be, you're, I mean, you'd be the first in line to see a concert.

I love, I love to see them do it live. Yeah, toss salad and scrambled eggs, every single track. But my feeling is, when did they go, Kelsey, you want to sing it? Like, when does that happen in the producer's conversation? Well, he goes, I have a great idea for a song. What's like, what's going on?

I could see that happening. Did he write it? Or did someone else write it? Google me. Google. me. Who wrote the Frazier theme song? I'm Jared Leto from Bruce Miller. That movie show.

It's a weird show. Look, here's a whole article, the story behind the Frazier theme song, Toss salad and all of our questions. I hope it's in oral history. Look, we have to take a break. I'll read the article and try to encapsulate it. Okay. Okay, we're back.

And this is what the composer Bruce Miller essentially says, is they want something jazzy, eclectic, but they need to avoid any references to specifics of Frazier. So stay away from words about psychiatry, radio shows, the name Frazier, anything. So he wrote the music. A Niles. Death on the Nile. With a nuch champagne to fill the Nile. Here's what it's about.

It's about don't say anything about that. Don't say anything about that. So he wrote the lyrics and then he's like, anything could happen. Sorry, he wrote the music. then he needed lyrics, so he called his friend Darrell Finacy, who's really talented and really smart or was

before this. This is the assignment that broke him. I can't mention psychiatry at all! And then he wrote a song and he was like, I'm a little girl with hearts for eyes. And they were like, that works too. You didn't mention any of the things? Like, it could be anything.

I live in a fire hydrant. He called back with the idea tossed salads and scrambled eggs and the guy who wrote the music is like what are you talking about? He goes, well these are things that are mixed up like Fraser's patients. Oh, no. So he's calling people crazy. Yeah, he's also not a psychiatrist anymore.

He's a radio host. He's an entertainer. He gives advice. He's basically doing Carrie's podcast. Does he give... Exactly. Does he only do the show or does he also treat patients? No, he doesn't have a practice anymore. Niles has a practice. Okay.

But Frazier is exclusively a radio host. Practice makes perfect. So true. They made this song. That'd be a good title for a... That'd be a good title. We're a show about psychiatrists. Or lawyers.

The guy who wrote the song, Doctors. And their last name is perfect. Practice makes perfect. Okay? Yes. Hold on a second. Can you believe they're, and this is a new show with a great guy, Skyler Aston. Great guy.

Oh, yeah, what is that one? So Help Me Todd. They're still doing shows where they're like putting a character's name. Yeah. In to a comment, like Grace Under Fire, all that. But yeah, they do a lot of those. The only way you can name a show So Help Me Todd is if it has a theme song like The Nanny or something like that. And there's an actual chorus of, So help me talk.

Every night I pray to my God, Todd. That says, So help me trust. So he's an actual God in this scenario. Yeah, and it's like you could still say so help me God, but it's like, no, we're trying to differentiate. It's Todd. Makes me want to swallow a uranium rod, so help me Todd. So to answer your question, Paul, the guy who wrote the song wanted Meltorme to sing it, and the producers wanted Kelsey to sing it. Sure.

Told you producers. Told you producers. Will you say that when the strike is over? Told you producers. Tell you producers. I think I assume. I think I assumed it was Kelsey's idea to sing it. It probably was in the producers where I could sing it.

Well, I've been known to carry a tune. Once. If Mel says no, I could sing it. Can we do a three-cher? Yeah. You said you had one. Or are you lying? If you'd like to send it some treacher, you can write to

3MUSA at gmail.com. This three-cher is called Madlibs. And I, you know, Mike and I bought this on a whim when we were on a little trip recently. How much did it call? Oh, let's find out. $4.99. Dang.

So you're able to just spend $4.99 on a whim? I can just throw it and not even care. How much did Madlids cost when we were kids? I feel like they're 25 cents or something. You'd get them through the scholastic like. Scholastic Book Club. Yeah. Oh, I loved it.

Dynamite magazine. So I thought it'd be really fun. 3D poster of a werewolf. During that hurricane, I did one with Kula. Yeah. That's why I got my three prescription glasses. During the hurricane, I did one with Kulop on our text thread, which I don't know if you were paying attention to

because it was probably really annoying. It was so funny because I was trying to, I was like cleaning something up around the house. And it was. Oh, your piss. I have a problem. Every morning I have to clean up this. Every morning I clean up all my piss.

And it was. And it was constant buzzing. Constant buzzing on my watch. Yeah, and it's not important at all. And I know it's not. Adjective. All I had seen was you say want to do a madlib. And I was like, I guess that madlib's happening.

Yeah. Okay. So who wants to go first? Me. Okay. I'll go. So then each person will hold the paper and control it for the other person. Okay.

So I'm not going to tell you what it's called. So paper control. Verb. Shake. Yeah. Have fun with it. Are we alternating? No.

Number. Because it's going to be. his madlib and then a little more number 2005 adjective briny adjective burpee noun cabooose

adjective um sloth like plural noun um kaz zoos a place this is gonna be crazy

narnia adjective Um Bloody Plural noun Barnacles Person in the room Scott

Verb No animal plural Um Bibibib Bats Verb ending in ING I'm gonna say it Fucking

High fiving Type of food plural mashed potatoes noun two servings of mashed potatoes I consider mashed potatoes would be singular it's got an ass on the end

noun can you eat one mashed potato yeah I can I could can you milk meat potato uh potato sorry

mashed potato adjective. Um, adjective. That would be really wasteful to make one mashed potato and get all the milk from the cream. That's true. Crumbly.

Noun. Crumb. Furb. Um, Dream. Nown. Um, Bury.

Bury. It's too many words. Madlibs, the title is. Madlibs. Happening by Paul F. Tompkins. Happening, wow. Run, don't shake to join 2005 of your closest friends at the greatest briny outdoor musical experience of our burpee generation.

This once-in-a-cabooze event is guaranteed to provide us a lot like weekend filled with music, peace, love, and kazooze in the picturesque setting of Narnia. Band. Fans such as the bloody barnacles, Scott and the Bats. I love Scott the Bats. The fucking mashed potatoes.

And many more will be rocking the mashed potato all night long. This crumbly happening will take place rain or crumb. So dream accordingly, it's sure to be a legendary berry. Wow. That's good. It takes me back. I know.

It takes me back. I'll do control. You do Scott. Okay. Put on my spectacles. Okay. Oh, those are prescription yellows. Yeah.

That's fun. I use this marker. It's just chunky-wonky. Just, yeah, use a marker. You can use any mark. You don't have to use this. It's chunky-wunky. It's true.

It's chunky monkey. It's chunky monkey. Is everyone loving this when he picks the pen? Dang. What's going on? They're all the same. Just scribble it. I'm just trying to find one with a better point.

That one looks good. Thank you. Thank you, dear. Okay, it's Scott's turn. Go for it. All right, Scott, give me an adjective. Mm. Gosh, so many in the world.

How about one? Rattie. Okay. Adjective. Bratty. Person in room. Hmm. Let me think.

Please on me, please on me. Paul. Oh, shit. And out of ink. I'll throw in the trash. Plural noun. Tridance. You're going to have to go a little faster.

Well, you're just trying to control my game. Okay, okay, okay. Play it as slow as you want. Caddy. Oh, my God. Adverb. What's an adverb again? That's what's happening.

So, ending in L.Y. Oh, right, right. Sweatily. Adjective. Did I say bad? already? Nope. Batty.

Plural noun. Hmm. Waves. Not the verb. Noun. Hmm. Leaflet. Plural noun.

Hmm. Cardboards. Type of liquid. Gasoline. Try to give them the next one while you're writing that one. It'll just help it along. Noun. Electric.

vehicle. Adjective. Let's see, batty, catty. Oh my God. Adjective. Corpulent. Adverb. Wonderfully.

Plural noun. Knobbs. Plural noun. Burglar alarms. Plural noun. This is too much. It's too quick for me. 45 RPM records.

Mound. Refrigerator Person in room Oh, let me think Not me, not me, not me, not me, Lauren Adjective Fetching Okay, Mr. Darcy

All right Ooh, it's done Oh boy Here we go That's a lot of pressure What's the title? World Peace and Other Promises By Scott Alckerman

Copyright 2009 by Penguin Random House LLC. Oh, you got published. Oh, nice. Our school is voting for this year's Rattie president. Let's listen in as the brady candidate, Paul, makes his final campaign speech. My fellow Trident's, I know the caddy changes you want and sweatily deserve. If elected, I promise to put an end to batty homework and pop waves.

I will expand the lunch menu to include leaflet burgers and cheese stuffed cardboard. I will fill every drinking fountain with chocolate. gasoline. I will see to it that the only acceptable exercise in gym class is Dodge electric vehicle. Oh, finally, for every corpulent student in detention, I wonderfully swear to make video knobs,

comic burglar alarms, and widescreen. The fuck is that? Let me see. You don't know what you said. Wide screen. I can't remember what he said. Where is it?

Uh, wide screen up. He's putting out glasses. Arp, up, ripers. Yeah, uprimpers. Oh, RPM records. RPM records. 45 RPM records. Available in the detention refrigerator.

So remember, a vote for Lauren today is a vote for a fetching school tomorrow. Why is it a different person? I know. I don't know. I would, I would elect him. Okay, I love it. Great job. Thank you.

No, it's my turn. All right, Lauren, are you ready? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Here we go. I'm going to need an adjective. Sexy. Okay.

Gonna need another adjective. Horny. Going to need another adjective. I need to go in my car. It's getting me crazy. Loose. Plural noun. Butts.

Plural noun. This is old school. Mad lives. Tittes. Tittes. I got in trouble for doing this when I was a young kid. Yeah, I should think so. Adjective. Breasts. Bresticles.

Breasticles. Wait, that's an adjective? Now. Hold on. Oh, yeah. Adjective. Okay, I'll put it down. I'll switch these. Okay, adjective. A subjective. Smooth. Smooth. Okay.

Verb ending in I-N-G. Um, um, um, pogo sticking. Pogo sticking. Okay. A noun. Um, butthole. Article of clothing, plural. Boxer briefs.

Boxers are briefs. Um, noun. Um, tit. Plural noun. Dix. This is like your origin story. Type of liquid. I wonder.

This is how you discovered comedy. Furbending and I and G. Sucking. Adjective. Tasty. And noun. Marital bed. Marital bed.

Marital. Marital bed. Okay. Here we go. Okay. This is called happy campers. When life gets too sexy, there's no better antidote than to forget the horny grind and go camping with some loose friends. With the moon and butts twinkling overhead and the sound of titty's chirping in the woods,

sitting around the campfire and singing a smooth chorus or two of she'll be coming round the bristicles, or I've been pogo sticking on the railroad, is a great way to restore peace to your inner butthole. Or if you choose, you can scare the boxer briefs off of everyone with tit stories. You can also just sit quietly toasting dicks and sipping mugs of steaming piss before snuggling into your sucking bag. Yes, there's nothing better than the tasty outdoors to guarantee a good night's marital bed. Nice, we did it. Nice. So that's how you do, Matliff.

And that's how you do that. That's a feature. Now look, we also, in addition to accepting emails from you, if you want to phone call us, then we take a phone call and you can leave us a voicemail. We would do all that. Hague claims eight. Hague claims eight. And if you want to hear ad-free episodes of this, maybe you already are currently.

Go to CBBWorld.com. That's where ad-free episodes can be heard. And also there was one other thing, right? Follow us on Instagram, Freedom USA. Yes. Any shows coming up? Did anybody want to like to call? Nope.

Well, I have newcomers. We have a new season coming out. We're going to be, Nicole and I are going to be, Nicole Byer and I'll be watching all of Batman. And so far it's been, I'm not going to say, so far it's been what it is. You have to listen. You'll have to find out if you like it. As of this recording, how many are you in?

I have watched the third assignment. So it's the second, I mean, yeah. You understood the assignment? Yeah. I won't even say, I guess, which movies they are because that's part of the fun. Yeah. So, yeah. But it's been, it's been, it's been,

It's been a time. Okay. I'm sure it has. Do you have a show coming up, Paul? Yes. Where are we in the world? This comes out Thursday. Shit.

Then I have to tell you that tonight, Super Ego and I, we are doing our forgotten classics show where we take a book, a famous book that none of us has ever read, and we take the first line and last line of the book and the character names and we improvise what we think it is or should be about.

I like you guys doing what it should be about. Yeah. Yeah, this is what it should be. Like the original author is a fucking idiot. I mean, that's not for me to say? Yeah, we'll find out. But that is going to be live tonight at Dynasty Typewriter. I think tickets were close to selling out.

So as of this recording, if you can't be there, you can watch it on the live stream. We are live streaming it to the world, 7.30 p.m. Pacific time. And the book we're doing is Ulysses, which famously has a last sentence of 4,000 words. So we'll see how we handle that. How are you going to read that? I don't fucking know.

So yeah, that's going to be a lot of fun. Please do check that out. And then September 10th at Loddrum in Highland Park, myself and Nicole Parker, doing our first two-person variety show, something for everyone it is called. uh please do get tickets for that yes well that's it uh we'll see around these parts next week so folks hold on to your hats and glasses folks all right bye bye bye