Threedom - Threevisiting: What Movie is Good Morning, Vietnam Set In?

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss donuts and closet purging before playing Sitcom Heart to Heart. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, Georgia. Hi, David. What do you think the world needs more of? Well, the world always needs more podcasts. Didn't you used to have a podcast? Not only did I used to have a podcast, Georgia. It's coming back! David Tennant does a podcast with.

Season 3 is coming at ya! Okay, and who are your guests? Who are my guests? What about Russell T. Davis? What about Jamila Jamil? What about Stanley the Tooch Toochie? So it's really just you hanging out with your mates then? Yeah.

Come join me. David Tennant does a podcast with. Bye. Hi, is this an okay time? It's your girl Dylan Mulvaney, and I am inviting you to my weekly cocktail party and my brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour, brought to you by Lemonada Media.

Life is stressful and there is so much darkness in the world, I think we could all use a little bit of trans joy. So join me every week as I interview some of my favorite A-list celebrity friends and gurus and of course the dolls while we sip and spill the scalding hot tea. So put your worries aside and join me at The Dillon Hour. Listen to The Dillon Hour making its debut March 19th. You can listen on Apple, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Love ya. Freedom!

I was acting like I was lifting a great big rock that God couldn't even lift. I barely gave any energy to it. And Lauren, let's ask God what he did. Go ahead. What did you do? What did you do? I sang it normal. A little bit of grit on it. That's nice.

Just a little bit, just a little bit of grit. Just a little bit, just a little bit. Just a little bit of grit. Just a little bit of grit. We'll see you through. What song is that? A little bit of Christmas? Just a little bit, just a little bit of bloom and luck.

Oh, I think it's from my friend Lady. Oh, just a little bit of bloom and luck. Oh, I think it's from My Fair Lady. My Fair Lady. But it's making me think of this cartoon called Lil Bits that was on Nickelodeon. And I'm trying to think of how the theme song went. Okay, hit us with it. Three, two, one.

We're the little bits. We're the little bits. We're the little bits of bloom and luck. Lauren, I can't help but notice that you mentioned a lack of energy. Yes, I did because. What is going on with you, Lauren? Your usual.

I doth hath coronavirusian COVID-19, the COVID novel coronavirus. Coronavirus. I got the COVID novel coronavirus. Coronavirus. I got the COVID. I did get the COVID after two plus years of washing my hands, wearing my mask, and seeing nobody. Why did you stop wearing your hands?

Wearing your hands. Wearing your hands. Oh, hey, Hannibal. I didn't stop any of my practices, and yet I got COVID-19. You've done it. As did my entire family. So it's been a wild week,

which is why we were on Zoom last week, but I didn't want to say last week because it was fresh. I hadn't actually tested positive when we recorded last week. So I was still holding out hope that I would be negative, but no, I got it. You were the last one in your household. I was, which made me feel a little better

because you and I had done a show a few days before. And I was worried that I would have infected you, but I didn't test positive for days. So it was pretty safe to say that you didn't. I wasn't worried about it until you did mention after you tested positive that you had had a sore throat for days. Well, Monday was when my sore throat started.

Oh, okay. Not during the show. Okay. And the show was Saturday my sore throat started. Oh, okay. Not during the show. Okay. Yep. The show was Saturday or Sunday? Sunday. Sunday. We do Sunday shows after church.

Mike did Test Positive on Monday though, but then I was like, I booted him out of the house. He went to stay at a friend's Airbnb that was empty. Showed up with a frying pan. Yeah. And then I was wearing a mask with Holly and then it turned out Holly was positive and then I still was trying to wear a mask. And, but then I tested positive a couple of days later after wearing a mask, doing it all by myself

for a couple of days. It was futile because I got the cob and probably already had it. But then at least your diseased husband could come back home and help you. Yeah. That was better. Yeah. Who did he get it for?

Cause he got it first, right? He did. I don't want to. And remember, COVID is the kissing disease. And I will say, I don't blame him. It could have happened to me just as much as it could have. He's not in trouble. I'm just putting this at.

No one should be mad at Mike. Other than fans of this show. He was maskless in a space where there was a lot of space between each person working out in a giant warehouse with 10 feet at least between each person and huge ceilings and yeah, but it got him nonetheless. And so we've been holed up and it's been horrible. We both got super sick.

It sucked. It's been bad. I would not say it was mild for us. It was very mild for Holly, thank God. It feels like the people that are getting it now, from what I've heard, it's not like, oh, it felt like nothing. Like this actually feels like you're sick.

Yeah, we were knocked on our asses. And so it worked out actually, the timing that, the fact that I got it a couple of days delayed really worked out because he was, when he was sequestered at the Airbnb He was able to just like sleep all day and not worry about taking care of baby and stuff And then by the time I was feeling really shitty he was back home So I was able to lay in bed, but it sucked and I feel I still don't feel great. It's been over a week

What about the baby? How does that? How does the baby do she's doing great? She was really great after just like I would say it lasted for her probably like 36 hours. She was sick, definitely sick and wanting to be held all the time and crying and feeling bad and low energy. Oh, me too, but I never got COVID. And then I took her to the doctor, they checked her out, everything was okay. And they said it's typically been mild. What they've been seeing was that it's mild for babies.

And she was a situation where that was the case, thankfully. And she was much better on the next day and was like totally energized. And that made it a little hard because we were like. Energized. Yeah, I showed her her first movie though. I had never shown her TV before. Whoa, what did she think?

And when she was sick, I showed her a movie. I'm never shown her TV before. Whoa what did she think? And when she was sick I showed her a movie. I'm sorry one moment was Scott doing an impression of a baby being energized? Yes on Star Trek. What did that sound like? Something like that I don't know. Why what would you say it is? Like a mechanical sound? Well I mean it's it's a cross between honestly energizing sounds like a cross between mechanical sound and like pixie dust, right? No, you're right. Anywho, we watched Encanto and we both loved it. She kept turning around. We were talking about Bruno.

It was so cute, she kept turning around and smiling at me when we were watching it. She was like so happy. Really? Yeah. Wow. She loved it. That's fantastic. So we watched one hour one day and then we watched the hour the next day.

And then when she was feeling better, she has no patience to sit and watch a movie. So that was kind of a cute moment that we got. Did she, could she clock like, that it was the same movie you think or? I think so because I put it on a different movie after. Well, it's the only one she's ever seen. So it was like.

She was less in. They made her try one of these. But then I watched Turning Red. Have you seen that? No, I love it. I heard it's really good. I loved it. Oh my God, it made me cry at the end. And I watched Turning Red. Have you seen that? No, I love it. I heard it's really good. I loved it. Oh my God, it made me cry at the end.

And I loved Incanto. They were both fantastic. Did you read that review that they eventually took down? I forget where it appeared. Well, where that guy was like, how can I relate to this? It's unrelatable. This is just unrelatable.

And it's like, what do you think movies are? I know, like every story. It has to be exactly to me. All movies are unrelatable, right? I mean, it's like, what do you think movies are? It has to be exactly to me. All movies are unrelatable, right? I mean, it's like, but the movie is relatable. But they're just as relatable as they are unrelatable. That's what I mean.

It's like, you could say that about anything, but it's very, I found it very relatable. And even at the end, they have like a moral that's like, we all experienced this thing. So da da da da da. And I was like, how are you not related? The only movie that's relatable for me is Captain America because I have a really good body, but.

So you don't relate to the part where he was a little twerp? No, no. You don't like that your head is so much bigger than your body? I've only seen the first 10 minutes, so I don't know. You turned it off in disgust. That's what Chris Evans really looks like. I thought there was a movie about a hero.

Well, I'm sorry to hear about your COVID-y ass. It sucks, it sucks. I'm glad you're doing better though. You're in the- Me too, thank you. You're almost out of the woods. I'm glad you never gave it to us. Me too. Yes, thank you. Because also I was supposed to see you Monday

and that was the day Mike tested positive. So thankfully I didn't. Thankfully you were honest with us. I know, I could have lied if you'd come over. There's somebody in our household who has extreme COVID fear and is convinced that either myself or they have COVID every single day. Well, that was me for literally this entire time.

I'm always saying I have COVID. Are you? I didn't know that. Oh my God, I always am like my throat hurts I have COVID. Like I just for two years and Mike's, and so even when I wanted to give Mike's like, oh my God, I always am like my throat or type of COVID. Just for two years. And Mike's, and so even when I wanted to give Mike a test, he was like, fine, like, cause because I am always saying it

and then it was positive and we were both shocked. Shocked. I don't think I have it until my roommate starts trying to talk me into it. Come on, get COVID. And then I'm like, okay, you're starting to make me think that it's a problem that I coughed once. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's how it goes. The only silver lining though, I guess, the whole COVID situation of getting the COVID and getting through it and be okay is that I can not worry as much for a couple months. There you have it. There you go. So that's good. Cool Up, did Cool Up experience the feeling I can not worry as much for like a couple months. There you have it. There you go.

So that's good. Cool Up, did Cool Up experience the feeling of a little bit of freedom after the experience of having it? I don't know. I think so. I mean, we both just went to the doctor and got our antibodies tested.

Oh, uh-huh. So, and mine are off the charts, baby! Wait, so you have antibodies even though you didn't have it? Yeah, from the vaccine. From the vaccine. From the vaccine. But that's why you didn't get it maybe, or no? Is that how that works?

We don't know. I don't think so, but maybe, yeah, I don't know. They also seem to think that maybe Coolop's vaccine processed her body process the virus so well that she wasn't giving it off. She wasn't shedding it at all. So, but yeah, none of us- Does that mean she's an alien maybe?

Yeah, it could be. Yeah, like her body is like zeros and ones. More ones than zeros, if you know what I mean. I don't. Oh, I do not follow. I don't know. What? I don't follow. What?

What's that? Baleigda. Baleigda? Baleigda. I got my toaster. You got your toaster? Great, Paul. No. Anyway. Got your double booster. My second booster because I'm older. It finally

pays off. That's great. My friend also got the second booster because I'm older. It finally pays off. That's great. Scott, I know you- My friend also got the second booster because he had J and J and they are eligible. Oh. Cause theirs is so bad. I guess. I don't know, top it off.

Just get a million of them. Yeah, you want extra? We're gonna give you some take home ones. Where are you gonna ask me, Paul? Are you gonna get it Scott? My doctor suggested currently to wait because my antibody levels are really super high. So it's kind of a waste.

And if they get too high, what? Like you're gonna like. Then I get high, I'm high all the time I guess. Up up to the sky? Yeah. No, just there's, it's a scale of one to 150. If you have one, then you have antibodies, essentially. And mine are above 150.

Like, they were, so. Oh my, you're off the charts. So they, he said literally, you know, just wait a few months and we'll test it again and see how your antibody levels are. Antibody is hard for me to say. You're like an Ohio 160, but an LA 150. Yeah, with an Oakland booty, of course.

Oh, of course, absolutely. But that's what happens when bodies start slappin'. Yeah, I guess so. From doing the wild thing. I used to do that as a reporter all the time. When bodies start slappin'. What, what? But that's what happens when bodies start slappin'.

When you play the reporter in a movie. Oh, I wish I could play a reporter in the movie. Wouldn't that be fun? In the movie. In the movie. They call him the two armed bandit. That one in Kanto? The only movie that exists?

The one movie. That's what Holly thinks. Yep. She's like, man, they should make another one. That was good when they did that movie. The whole thing with the big flat black thing that's against the wall every day. I love picturing her turning around like to see. With the song. Are you getting this? Yeah, but I had a mask on which also bummed me out because I was like, I couldn't fully like celebrate with her.

Maybe she was happy because she thought you were a different person. Yeah, she thought I was just like a void. Please stay. That loser I'm normally with never lets me watch any of this kind of stuff. Maybe she was happy because she thought you were a different person. Yeah, she thought I was just like a void. Please stay. That loser I'm normally with never lets me watch any of this kind of stuff. Ha-ha-ha! I like this new person. Ha-ha-ha! And how is Mike feeling better?

He still feels pretty crappy, but better. We're both much better, but it's just coughing a bit. My cough is basically gone, but I just feel very tired. How's your sense of taste? Good. He did get me a donut on like- Well then why don't you eat shit? I guess I did, I thought it was bad. He gave me a donut on, he got me a donut

on my first really bad day, but I couldn't really taste it. Oh no, what kind of donut? Sprinkles? It was my favorite. It's just a, what do you call it? A donut with chocolate frosting, but like not a cake donut. I love cake donuts, but it was a fluffy one.

Just a regular old chocolate frosted donut, yeah. Yeah, so good. I love chocolate donuts. You? Yes, I do, absolutely. Do you know what I used to love? Every once in a while after church, we would go to Dunkin' Donuts and get a dozen donuts. And the cream filled ones,

not Boston cream. They were white powdered ones with cream inside. And those are my favorite. I hate when there's cream inside. No, wait. No. We talked about this before, because there was something that your brother got you to eat. Well, I had a tragic time when my dad got me a Boston cream with Dunkin' Donuts and I didn't know it was Boston cream and I bit into it and it was shocking and disgusting. And when my brother did recently get me a matcha donut

that I made for him, but I didn't know there was matcha inside but then I did like it. But I'm more open to a cream puff now, but as a child, certainly not, no. I remember cream puffs being disappointing when I did like it. But I'm more open to a cream puff now, but as a child, certainly not, no? I remember cream puffs being disappointing when I was a kid. Like it was, technically it was a sweet thing. Well, it's, they're so thin too.

So of course I would eat it. Yeah. But it just was like, eh. The cake is too thin, the cream is too much. It's like the proportions are off. Yeah. But I like that vocabulary, obviously. When I was working on Mr. Show, we would stop it.

You wanna talk about when you're working on Mr. Show? Oh yeah, that was a good time. We would stop at 7-Eleven every single day on the way in. And this is, we had to be there at 11.30. This is at like 11. Get a giant thing of coffee where we would just like pour cream and sugar into it and then buy a full packet of chocolate donuts, those eight packs of the mini donuts.

Yes, yes. And then eat that every single day on the way to work. That sounds kind of fun, that time in your life. Not good for you. No, it feels like now you have diarrhea, but yeah, at the time. I feel like my stomach was, well, in some ways I could eat crazier things, but then I had a period

of time where it was like just anything would just be pure diarrhea central. But then I moved past that, I think, just from having a better diet. Speaking of eating things... You don't want to talk about my diarrhea? No, I do. Believe me. But off, off mic. Off mic, yeah.

Off mic, I want to talk about it for three hours. There was a period in my life where I was ordering a cheesesteak sandwich every day from this place, the Philly Steak Depot in Hollywood. Sounds fucking disgusting. Well, of course I grew up with these sandwiches and I love them and this was not entirely, it was the closest that I'd found at that point

to an actual Philly cheesesteak. And of course there was a minimum for delivery, and so I'd order them two at a time. And I did this every day for a long time, enough so that the delivery guy knew me by name, and we would chat a little bit at the door. And did he ever say, we can change it so you can just get one?

No, he never said that nor did he ever say you should stop doing this. So every day you ate two? I would eat, not every day. I would eat like one and then I would eat the other one the next day. And then eat one that night though. Yeah, sure. So you would have two a day. Well, no, no, no, not always, not always.

I would not eat like one for lunch and then one for dinner. Sometimes you'd order them on Mondays and Wednesday. Yes, but sometimes I would order, I would order a cheesesteak and a chicken cheesesteak and then I would eat half and half. Chickadee cheesesteak, the cheesesteak chicken? Yes, exactly, exactly. You have a drumstick and the clock starts ticking?

Like, Sting, I'm getting tantric. Watch next, files with no lights on, yeah. With Don LaMaison, I hope the smoking man's in this one Exactly. You have a drumstick and the clock starts ticking? Like, Stingham getting tantric. Watch Next, Files with No Lights on, yeah. With Donald Mays on it. I hope the Smoking Man's in this one. Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting tantric. Or I'm getting frantic. Frantic.

What if Harrison Ford got tantric? Like Snickers, he would keep his snout. Oh my god, I'm imagining that with Ally McBeal. Wait, did you, I feel like you told us you used to know that whole thing, right? I did, I still do know a lot of it. And you would bother somebody with it? You?

No. No, there's a few people of it. And you would bother somebody with it? You? And I love bare naked ladies. There was somebody you would do it for and it would drive them crazy. Or maybe I'm misremembering. I don't know about that, but I'm sure it's true. Actually, that might be another friend of mine. Oh, okay, because I do know, I think it just drives anyone crazy

that anyone would sing that or know it or anything. It feels like an almost like an activation of a sleeper cell thing. That if you sing it to someone, that they might feel like I'm not in control of my own body and mind. But I remember the first time I heard that song and I was riding in the backseat of my friend's car

her dad was driving and I thought it was amazing. It was like so fast. I was like, wow, how are they singing all this stuff? And then to memorize it was very fun. I just saw a TikTok about how some people- How do you know they memorized it? No, for me to memorize it then later. Yeah.

Um, they probably were reading it the whole time. Um, I just saw a TikTok about- Oh, the part in the concert where they pull out the crumpled up piece of paper. And they're like, Chikidikaina, the Chinese. I'm thinking in the studio, they like couldn't record until they finally all memorized it. Come on. You're gonna do this right, guys. Wait, I saw a TikTok about it.

Some people listen to music and hear lyrics and some people hear the melody, which I guess I've always understood, but there's literally a study about brains and how some people's brains work that way. No, don't do that. But I think we all hear the lyrics. Don't study my brain.

Well, I feel like I'm a lyrics person because I like lyrics. We're all lyrics people. No, I'm a music person. No, not everybody is. I sometimes- But we are because we know lyrics. Shut the fuck up.

Don't tell me what I am. I think, but I think it's about what you sort of, what draws you to a song more. And some people are driven more by melody and some people are driven more by lyrics. It's like what you hear when you listen. No. Okay, but that's not what I'm talking about.

And that's what I'm talking about from the TikTok. But look, I haven't seen this TikTok. I haven't had a chance to vet it, but I will say this. I have enjoyed songs where I have, like a squeeze song or something where I had no idea what the fuck they were saying until I saw the lyrics written down. Well, he was tempted by the fruit of another. That's one of the easier ones to figure out.

But like pulling muscles from the shell is extremely difficult. Yeah, because in pulling muscles from a shell, I feel like he's talking about Made Marion at one point. I think I've thought that for decades. Let's see what I think we're saying. Not it, is it? That is what he's saying, yes.

He is saying Made Marion? Yes. Made Marion. With regard to the TikTok. Like from Robin Hood? Or just someone made? No, it's somebody he knows. I mean, or someone made Marion do a thing,

you know what I mean? No, no, no, it is M-I-A-D Marion. Okay, I couldn't even tell you what that song's about. Robin Hood does not get mentioned. It's about going to the beach. But it's not that the people who hear the lyrics always understand. It's nice, that song passes the Bechdel test.

They don't always understand the lyrics, but they hear the lyrics. I think some people don't even hear it. Lauren, get off this. I just think it's interesting. Stop trying to brainwash us. Whatever, who gives a shit. Stop trying to brainwash us. Whatever, who gives a shit. Stop trying to gaslight Paul and me.

This is CRT. This is CTE. You're trying to say if I don't hear the melody, I'm a racist. I get it. I mean, hey. I mean, hey. I mean, hey. What are the lyrics to that song?

I wake up, I look out, I say, hey, yeah, yeah. What are the lyrics to that song? I wake up, I look out, I say, 25 years and my life is still trying to get up there. We'll be here, love, hope. Lauren, you should put out a record. We sang that on stage. Lauren and I sang that on stage together with the, with the Throwing Shade Gang.

Brian Safi. Aaron Gibson and Cole. Scott really wants me to be a pop star. God damn. I'm really stressed out. No. Howser. Cole Scola.

Cole Scola, Cole Scola. School Cole. What? Lauren, you said um, and then you coughed. Did you want to get our attention for that cough? No. Okay. I definitely didn't.

Scott, what do you got? Because usually a lot of people cough to get attention. I'm coughing because I have COVID-19. It's a way to succeed in Hollywood. What if, what if you cough to get our attention so we could hear your COVID cough? God, you know, you wouldn't want to hear it. When it's bad, it's bad.

I hope you don't get COVID. It really hurt my throat. Thank you. I do not want to get it. It sucks. I need this nice and lubricated. I don't want to hurt it. I was on a set the last couple days, and this was a movie, and I had a small part in it. And so the day that I got there on a Friday for work, and I heard in the hair and makeup trailer, which is where you hear all the gossip,

that the day before, oh no, this is where I went for my wardrobe fittings. We were away from set. And the wardrobe people were telling me the day before, nobody had masks on. Like, because they were shooting outside, nobody was wearing masks. And then...

But that seems weird for the crew to not have them. It feels like, why add a risk? Absolutely. And then the, uh, so the parent corporation, uh, of this production found out and said, um, no, everyone has to wear masks all the time. And so then, by the time I got to set, the crew was wearing them, but a lot of the actors were just leaving them off, you know, between takes, between setups and everything.

It's getting loosey-goosey out here. It's getting loosey-goosey, but not for me, baby. I was fucking putting that thing back on. I just feel like people are getting a little too comfy. I know so many people who have COVID right now. Yeah, I feel like I've heard a lot of people that I know got it. So it's just like, it's not done, it sucks to get it. It's worth it to not get it.

I don't want. And we try not to get it. I just wanna be very clear that no one was getting it. Of course. Just for the listener. You weren't out there in these streets. I didn't do anything even fun. My gym makes me a little nervous,

but the area where I work out has- You have a great body, by the way. Hey, thank you. This is sick. Thank you? In a good way, right? This body is sick. Thank you. It's nice to hear it from friends, but I have a sick body.

Your body is sick, dude. Um... Like Harrison Ford, you're getting tantric. That's so funny to me. He's so tantric. Oh, my God. Harrison Ford're getting tantric. It's so funny to me. He's so tantric. Oh my God, Harrison Ford is so tantric. And Sting is so frantic.

The- Oh, he's like, what should I record? Should I do Rock, Sand, and White? Should I do Every Breath You Take? I don't know. Should I re-record Every Breath You Take? Every Breath You Take, every move you make. I want to go faster.

I want to get it out of the way. You laugh, Paul, but he did a rerecording album. Not too recently. Did he really? Yeah. Did he just redo all them with a lute? Yes. Just purely lute.

And he did it for the lute. When's he going to go back to his real name? What's his real name? Gordon. Gordon. Yeah. Gordon. Gordon again. Trust the Gordon's fisherman. Yes. Gordon the Gloucester.

What if he was the Gordon's fisherman? Well, that's with a T, of course. We know that. Right. Oh, Gordon's. Yes. But still, he should be that. He should be the Gordon's fisherman.

Wearing the bikini from Dune. Oh, if wearing the bikini from Dune, but with a rain slicker and rain hat. Oh man, you found it. And this liquor is open so you can see the Dune bikini. He's like, hi everybody, it's me, Gorton. I've made some changes and I hope you like them. This is my new thing. And then all of his songs are like sea shanties and he throws sand at the audience. I mean, the sea shanties and he throws sand at the audience. I mean, the sea shanties part is sort of what he's been doing lately. Did y'all see Dune?

No. No. We watched it. I guess you had to watch it on the big screen. I guess you had to be there. Yeah. To watch it. I guess you had to be in it. I guess you had to be a sandworm. I do, I do want to go to the movies and I want to see everything.

Everything everywhere all at once. So good. I got to do that. Dang, we saw it. I cried like a baby. It was great. It truly was everything. It was funny.

There was great action in it. It was poignant. It was fucking, it was thought provoking. I loved it. I've heard it's fantastic. I loved it. The Four Things. I've heard it's fantastic. The Four Things. That's alternate title of this show when Mary Hallin comes on.

She's never coming on this show. Why would you even tease people like that? She is never coming on this show. The only guest we will ever have is Paige Davis. That's right, I forgot. Okay, when Paige comes on. Call us out. I think it's good to reiterate the call though.

Paige Davis, if you're listening, if your people are listening. Paige, we know you're listening. Paige? Paige! Paige! Please, please come be our guest on Freedom. We're not gonna make fun of you. We just wanna have you on. We love you!

You're just gonna shoot the shit with us. We'll talk about whatever. Paige, we're not doing anything weird. It just, it came to this point where you are the only person we've said we'll have on we are Not impractical jokers. We are good guys No Speaking of true TV gabris and Adam Pally have a show that looks really fun. I seen that what is it? It's them

They go to they travel to a hundred places and party in them and tell you all about what to do How did they swing this I know What about if we just go we have fun and you film it? all about what to do there. How did they swing this? I know. Isn't that great? What about if we just go, we have fun and you film it? I mean, we don't have to do any tasks. We don't have to build anything. We literally just go and get fucked up and eat food. That's what Insomniac used to be, right?

Oh, I love that show. What was that? I feel like I watched that show. David Tell's show. Oh, that show was so good. It was, yeah, David Tell, and he would go. Oh yeah, what was that? I feel like I watched that. David Tell's show? Oh, that show was so good. It was, yeah, David Tell, and he would go out after hours, just different towns, and let's see what was happening.

And it was really fascinating. It was great. Did you happen to read that Amy Schumer, since she had named her child after David Tell, his middle name was Attell, but then after having the name for a while, she realized with his first name being Jean, that it sounded like genital.

Jean Attell? Oh, interesting. And so she changed it to David. She changed- The middle name. The middle name, oh. I thought she changed it to David Attell. Jean David Attell.

No, in answer to your question, no, I did not read that. Speaking of babies, I gotta ask about that show that's on Netflix, I can't remember what it's called, but I watched two episodes and I know you guys watched it. What's it called? It's called like Grown Up or something? It's called Old Enough.

Old Enough. Oh my God, it's so cute. Paul, you haven't watched it yet. It's when the little Japanese kids are sent on errands without their parents. I saw a trailer for this, yes. We watched two episodes and it was so cute. Did you watch all of it, Scott?

No, I just watched the first two. But the first one is so insane. This is right up my alley. It's crazy, they send a two-year-old on a task in town. To go a mile there and a mile back. Walking picks up some products and then brings them home.

We're talking like a toddler? Two years old. Two years and nine months. I have to watch this. And then the second one, the kid's like three or four, but he's such a liar, it's so funny. And he's like, he's spent on doing a task and then he keeps lying and saying he's doing it,

but he's not. Kids lying is so funny to me. Little kids when they discover what like, oh, you can just say a thing that's not true. When will Holly lie? I'm gonna do it all the time. I don't know. What great fun.

Maybe she lied about liking that movie. Yeah, she was pretending. She kept trying to play around. She wanted to work with Lin-Manuel at some point. Oh, she like, when she was watching the TV, big scowl on her face, and then she'd turn around and be like, uh-huh. Thanks, Mom.

Hey, this is going great. Now there's no, there's, like, danger is not a component, right? No, because I mean, there's a little danger, but it does feel dangerous because the first kid is walking along the street. It's like, it just feels crazy. I don't know. But you assume that there's people behind,

that you can't see that are kind of guiding to make sure that nothing bad happens. Occasionally you do see them. I should hope so. Butasionally you do see them, but yeah, it did feel more dangerous. When you know how lax filming standards are there, it does feel slightly more dangerous than it would be around here.

They wouldn't, no one would ever do it here. It would never, ever, ever happen. This is a big question, determines whether or not I will watch this. Please tell me it is not scored like any cute baby video that you see on Instagram. It's a little bit scored a little. Oh no.

It's more like America's Funniest Home Video. It is very AFP. It's a lot like that. It's a lot like that. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. And it has a narrator much like Bob Saget saying like, hey little baby, what are you doing? Oh no.

In English or in Japanese? In Japanese. Perfect, I love it. So I posted like, hey, little baby, what are you doing? Oh no. In English or in Japanese? In Japanese. Japanese. Perfect, I love it. So I posted like a video, someone tagged me in of like a pizza vending machine in Japan. Yes. Where you can get a full pie, which we also saw in Italy, I think we talked about it.

Gotta be the best pizza imaginable. And it looks fantastic. And then there's like a part where like step three is like return the metal grate to this hole and I was like, that's our country. We would never return the metal piece. I know. It would never go. We throw it on the ground probably.

Yeah, I'm sure. It would never go right and it would be like, we can't have that. We can't have the piece. When I think about stuff like that, it's very dispiriting to know that, oh yeah, somebody would just trash this just for no reason. We do live in possibly one of the worst countries. Like it's good for some reasons,

but it's horrible for a lot of other things. When I was like 25, I went on a date and one of the first questions she asked me was- It took you that long? Yeah. That's embarrassing, dude. Before then I just fucked. Oh, he got me!

Wow. I was like, let's slow this down a little bit. Why don't you ask me some questions? But one of the first questions she asked me was, when you go to a movie, do you throw your trash on the ground or do you pick it up and- Were you going to a movie?

Or is she just asking this out of nowhere? No, she was just asking me this as like a getting to know you question. And it was the first time, I mean, when I grew up, that's what like, I mean, you see that Mad Men scene where they go on a picnic and they just throw their trash on the ground, you know? That's sort of the vibe of when I grew up is like, you know, everyone who went to the movies is like, oh no, just put it on the floor because they clean it up.

And so I was like, oh, you just put it on the floor, cause they cleaned it up. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, you just put it on the floor, right? And she's like, it's so disrespectful to the, the people who work there and like gave me a lecture essentially on our first date. I was like, but I think about that all the time. Now I'm like consciously always pick up my stuff and throw it away because. Of course.

Yeah. Well, the idea that, because there's certain, there are certain people that think, first of all, I don't think it's disrespectful to leave it on the ground because yes, that is their job. So it's not like you're saying fuck you. And it also was kind of how it was back in the day. That it was like a treat for you in a way.

Yeah, exactly. It's like, leave all your stuff and walk. So it's not that it's disrespectful, it just helps them out if you pick up your own shit and put it in the trash can. I thought you were gonna say it helps them out if you pick up your own shit and put it in the trash can. I thought you were gonna say it helps them out if you leave it so they have something to do. No, but that's, there are people that think that.

They love the satisfaction of earning their money. No, I know people do think that. There are people that think that. It's like, no, nobody would ever complain if you did part of their job for them. They wouldn't be like, aw, there's no trash in here. I would love it if you guys picked up the slack for me on this show.

Oh, we pick up your trash all the time, dude. You don't even realize it. Yeah. So here's a question for you. If you're staying somewhere, this just came to me. If you were staying somewhere that there was a hotel. This just came to you? Holy shit.

You're brilliant. You're staying in a hotel. I know the way my brain works is like, it's like just thoughts that come. And I can't explain where or how, but then I have things I wanna say. And if you were in a hotel and there was like a ghost rumor to be in a hotel. I've been in a hotel where there is supposedly a ghost.

Me too. Now, do you spend- I've been in a hotel where there's a vampire. Okay, do you spend the whole time in your room thinking there's a ghost or looking for the ghost or thinking you hear a ghost or do you kind of forget about it? Do you know what? I stayed in the Stanley Hotel,

which was the inspiration for the Overlook Hotel and the Shining. Where is that? That's in Colorado, Estes Park, Colorado, excuse me. And that of course is supposed to be, yeah, Colorado, Colorado and Nevada. Colorado? Colorado. I've never heard this in my life.

You will hear it from people from Colorado. Colorado. Colorado. Why won't you come to your senses? Um, so of course that is supposed to be extremely haunted. They love telling you that. Right. So of course that is supposed to be extremely haunted. They love telling you that.

Right. And you can take a tour and you know, they'll tell you shit like, you know, these flower pots were set up here and then the night before and then this morning, like they were all moved around or whatever. And it's like, I just, to me, I just hear that and I say, well, that's not true. That's you're just, you're just, you're playing it up and in that hotel, I would think that's not true. Yeah. And so I never felt-

In other hotels, definitely true. I never felt, oh, other hotels are haunted as fuck, dude. Well, other hotels where it's like less of a big story, like The Shining is like such a big story that I feel like, that's what we're talking about, right? The Shining? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's a hotel in Austin that is-

Austin, that's where I stayed. Yeah, that one. It was haunted. And I only heard it from the bartender. It wasn't a thing where they talk about it or make a big deal about it. The bartender just told me a story. He's like, oh yeah, this place is haunted. And then told me a story about it, but that was it.

Was it a good story and did he tell it well? Well, the more it went on, the more I realized he was just telling me the plot of The Sixth Sense where he was the boy. No. And he was in a tent. Hey, it takes skill to tell a good story. You probably thought I was a ghost when you saw me.

I'm not, but guess what? My best friend, Bruce Willis? I will say this about the Stanley Hotel. One thing it was haunted by was the tour group that started outside my door every day. Wow. Wait, is it Stanley based on Stanley Kubrick? I think it's Stanley Tucci.

Yeah, yeah. The movie is based on the hotel and the hotel is based on Stanley Kubrick. So it's in the shape of his body? Does it look like him? It's shaped exactly like him. Exactly? I stayed in the neck.

But they also have on two TVs in the bar, they have both versions, both filmed versions of The Shining playing on a loop. Wait, so the Stephen Weber one? Yeah, the Stephen Weber TV version, which was what, three nights long? And do they sync up ever? They sync up all the time, all the time. And then the bartender rings a bell and everybody gets free shots. Wow, that's fun.

Yeah, it's real fun. All right, we have to take a- Do you love doing shots? Speaking of fun and shots. Love shots. Speaking of fun and shots, we have to take a break. Do you love doing shots? We have to take a break, guys.

Okay, man, let's do it. This is the break. This is the break. Let's take one right now. Don't record this part, we're in the break. Yeah. This is the break. Let's take one right now. Don't record this part. We're in the break. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Hey, Paul. Hey, Scott. Can I ask you a question?

I wish you would. Who taught you about money? Nobody. Nobody? Are you self-taught or do you still not know anything about it? Oh, I guess I was taught by life the hard way. Wow. Okay.

So you know about money. So your parents didn't do it, your school didn't do it. Nope. Nope. I mean, I got to be honest, me and most of the people I know, we learned about saving and budgeting when it was already too late. We'd already blown through our inheritance. Yeah, I'm one of those people.

I blew through my inheritance. Well, you know what? Your kids, they don't have to blow through their inheritances anymore because there's something new. You can give your kids a head start with Greenlight. That's right. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families that lets kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving. Meanwhile, kids and teens build

money, confidence, and skills in a fun, accessible way like with games. Okay, now I have a question for you. Yeah. I don't suppose the Greenlight app also includes a chores feature where you can set up one time a recurring chores customized your household and reward kids with allowance for a job well done. Paul, I'm here to tell you, you can do that. Oh my God, that was such a specific question. Yeah, it's incredible. You nailed it in the first guess.

I've been looking for a good way to teach my two year old daughter about finance. And as soon as I learned about green light, I knew there was no better time than now to get started. Well, let me tell you something. She picked up she picked up a quarter the other day. What's this? And I said, it's about time. Wow. Well, there you go go. Now from what you're

saying, based on what you're saying, you're telling me, it sounds to me like Greenlight is the easy convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life together. And maybe that's why millions of parents and kids are probably learning about money on Greenlight already. Yeah that's pretty true. In fact, Paul, you could start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at greenlight.com slash freedom. That's greenlight.com slash freedom to get started. I'm going to say one more time. It's greenlight.com slash freedom. This makes me want to start having kids. You know what? Elevating my style, it used to mean breaking the bank.

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I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it You fanned it all out in front of us on the table and where you can see it to it looks to be about $17. Thank you Unfortunately traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money, too. But fortunately for me There's mint mobile mint mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all

your existing contacts. You know what? Switching to Mint Mobile would cut my wireless bills down to less than half of what I'm paying. Think about all the things I could do with all those dollar bills. Oh, the dollar bills. I have dollar bills in my eyes, not the dollar signs. I've literally dollar bills. It's unnerving. Yeah. Anyway, I could use them to blow my nose. I could toss them in the fireplace. I don't think you can do either of those things. I think that's defacing U.S. currency. in the fireplace. I don't think you can do either of those things. I think that's

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The dollar for you and a dollar for you. Thank you. Thank you. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. Oh, Lord, you got me. I hate shots.

And even with my COVID, I was trying to do, I was trying to do shots of these wellness vials, some sort of little capsules from wherever the fuck Whole Foods. So it's not just alcohol. It is just the process of taking a little bit of liquid and drinking it really fast. Well, if it tastes bad.

Sure. So I don't like how these shots taste, these wellness shots. And I cannot, I will sip, how these shots taste, these wellness shots. And I cannot, I will sip, it's like sip. I can't throw a shot down and just drink it. I have to like sip, I have to like taste it, the entire thing. I don't know how to just go straight back.

Do you like get it, so essentially you get it in your mouth first and then swallow. Yeah. As opposed to like just. I can't just like throw it back. Wait, do you swallow the whole thing and then just ease little drops of it into your throat? Or do you sip? What?

Like you drink the whole thing. No, it's like I'll go like sip. Your cheeks are puffed out. It's like I'll go sip. And you open your throat a little bit. Sip. Cringe. Repeat.

That's so cringe. Lauren, you just talked about cringe. FML. When I smoked, I realized at one point, I became conscious at one point of that I wouldn't inhale it directly. I would sort of gulp the smoke into my mouth and then inhale it from there, as opposed to just like breathing through the cigarette which is but not like a french inhale of like it was almost it was

almost like a french inhale except it stays in there yeah and that would that would cause me to get hiccups a lot i was gonna say it seems like that would be bad for various reasons it was it sucked and i don't recommend. Do you love not smoking anymore? Man, I love it so much. And I still, whenever I have a dream about smoking, it is an anxiety dream. It is not like, I'm not enjoying it. Except smoking again.

It is always like that, where it's like, it's in my hand and I'm like, oh no! I started! Yeah, I take a drag and then I go, no, I stored it. No, my perfect streak. My streak is over. Oh no, this is like when Scott's internet went down and he lost some of his Peloton.

Oh, you're a listener. I was so- Have hard conversations. I broke my my wordle streak and I was so mad. Fucking, my COVID made me have a fucking ax out of six. I almost killed the phone. I was doing so good. I had such a good streak going.

It was fucking pathetic. Sorry guys. It's not cool at all. I don't know how I feel about this, the screen filmal, what is it called? Filmal, no it's called framed. Framed, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one, it's like I'm just bullshitting

when I get it right. I'm just fucking around. I don't know movies from a single frame. Unless I've seen it five billion times. I know like 30 of these fucking things per second. How are we supposed to know? Like it's like the one today was The Exorcist and I've never seen that, but I got it

because I'm like, well, it's a creepy lady sitting in a bed. I'm like, yeah, you know. I got that one on the second guess. Wow. What was the first frame of you? The first picture was like a sunset. It's always a fucking sunset.

There's so many sunsets. Every movie has a sunset. I started typing in Vietnam and hope a movie pops up. Every sunset, I just put Laurence Morabian's title. Yeah. There aren't a lot of movies with the title Vietnam. Yeah, but what movie is Good Morning Vietnam set in? What movie is it set in?

What movie is Good Morning Vietnam set in? That's what I just fucking meant, that there is a movie with Vietnam, right? Okay, did you hear what you said and then we repeated back to you? No, what I'm saying, I searched Good Morning Vietnam. Yeah. Sure, no, we get that. And that wasn't on there.

What happened? What don't I get? You said, what movie is Good Morning Vietnam set in? Right, that's what I mean. Like, it's called Good Morning Vietnam. What movie is Good Morning Vietnam set in? Because I'm saying, you said there are no movies that was Vietnam in the time I said well what movie is good morning Vietnam said in when he said

Wait tell me more about how it's wrong what I'm saying, okay I'm gonna repeat more about how it's wrong, what I'm saying. Okay. I'm gonna repeat it back to you one last time. Tell me what the movie's called. Good Morning Vietnam. What the movie Good Morning Vietnam is called? It's called Good Morning Vietnam.

I actually do mean what I'm saying. What movie is Good Morning Vietnam set in? Said in. Said in. Oh. See, I am glad we kept talking because you would have kept talking about how I'm so fucking stupid and I actually did say something that made sense.

You did, but it was your addiction, my dear. I'm afraid you must go back to finishing school. It simply is. Put a book on your head. It simply is. Because the Zoom is to blame, my good boy. In what movie is Good Morning Vietnam said? It's got morning fan on sets in. Great, you're right.

What movie, no, okay, now, sure, that makes sense. My answer would be Good Morning Vietnam. And there's a movie with Vietnam in the title. Yeah, right, right, right. And are you saying Good Morning Vietnam was not in the approved list? It wasn't, even though I've tried to guess it a bunch of times because I'm just like.

Hey guys, Luis Cabrera is calling me, should I answer? Yeah. Who's that? I have no idea. I like when it's a name. Yeah, as opposed to just like, rock, spam call. You know what I'm trying to do is that people will have a name, but then it's like, whoever pays the bill.

Then I'm like, this is TMI. Like it's someone I don't know, but it's someone I'm working with or something, for example, and they're calling me. And then it says like, you know, Jonathan Rednicki is calling you. And then I says like, you know, Jonathan is calling you. And then I'm like, I answered and it's like, it's Sarah red Nikki or whatever, you know, but it's like, don't do that.

Well, but do you think that they should list every single person who's in a household on the phone number and the. Okay. I think it's someone's name. I think it should pop up like the singers on the back of the car. I think it should be the whole family and then the one that it's calling should blink. Do you think the call, the onus should be on the caller

to press like two for this is the person that's calling? Exactly, exactly. The onus is on the caller. I think it'd be great if it just didn't say a name because it throws you for a loop. Well, like at our household, Coolop's name is on the bill, I guess. In the middle of your street hold?

You guess she pays the bill? Because I, anytime I'll call people, people will say like, Coolop? I'll go, oh no, no, it's. See, and that's why I don't like that. Hello, Miss Coolop. I don't think that's good, see, because they're getting their expectations.

They set the bar very high, they think, oh, I'm gonna speak to Coolop now, we're gonna have this great conversation about what's in her cart. And then you're on the other end and you're just like, comedy bing bong, glubah. What are you up to right now? Hey, can you put Coolop on the phone? Hey, I just wanted to, I was just feeling lonely.

I wanted to talk on the phone. Hey, so we're going to turn off your service if you don't pay this bill also. Is Coolop there? Goodbye. Well. turn off your service if you don't pay this bill also it's cool there goodbye I don't need to be talked to like this by the likes of you are you talking to the guy on the phone or talking to me off off Mike we were talking about how Paul and I have both been independently going through our closets to purge

clothing yeah I have fun doing that? No, for me it's always a very shameful experience because I buy things on impulse. Is it a size thing or is it a... And then it's like, I never bought this. I never wore this thing. Are you a size queen? No, I am a size queen,

and so I'm... It's all my crowns that don't fit. I am... I've gone through the size stuff already after my weight loss. And now it's just like, the shit is just. What's that? Makes me feel better that you have tags on things. So I have tags on things for sure.

No, I don't have tags on things because I think, oh, I'm gonna wear this and then I don't. But I've taken the tags off. Yeah. Well, it's the same thing. I have a tag on there, a handful of things I have tags. And there are things that make it through every time because I'm going, well,. Oh, you cut the tag. Yeah. Well, it's the same thing. Yeah, it is. I have a tag on there, you know, a handful of things. I have tags.

And there are things that make it through every time because I'm going, well, it still has the tag on it. And then I thought, last night I just was really fucking ruthless. And I went, you know what? I bought that in fucking 2018. I did not wear it all of these years. I do not want to wear it. And now I probably can't wear it.

So fuck this shit. To me, I just picture the waste of money, you know? Yeah, I hate that. And it makes me sick. Do you ever sell your clothes? See, it puts me in a bad mood. I to me I just picture the waste of money, you know, yeah, I hate that makes me sick It puts me in a bad mood here's what I'll make you feel better. Oh, okay In addition to buying these clothes that you naturally buy when we all do we all buy clothes that don't we all buy clothes you Crumple up two hundred dollars a day and throw it in the trash Oh, and you'll feel better. You'll feel worse about that than the clothes thing after a while.

Okay, I get that logic. It just feels so bad. It feels wasteful. I have tried to sell, but that's such a fucking, there's no way it's not a hassle. There's no way. It's always like getting all these different parties involved.

It's like, you have to take all the measurements. You have to take pictures, you know, all this shit. So I just donate. I just donate things. Yeah, you have to, you have to take, first you have to take a nude picture. Then you take a picture of the clothes on. Then you take a picture of yourself nude,

holding the clothes next to you. How much do you think like Goodwill and places like that will cull the things that are given? Because I feel like it should be like all decent. I'd also heard that from somebody that worked at Goodwill years ago that I used to know that the way that's done is not entirely fair. Well, they keep good stuff for themselves or whatever.

And you know, I don't know. It's not democratic. And then they sell stuff. Well, yeah, good stuff for themselves or whatever. And you know, I don't know. It's not democratic. And then they sell stuff. Well, yeah, it's not democratic. The store does not get to vote. It should be a meritocracy. Yeah. So I don't know.

Everyone should hold, they should hold up each item that's donated and then everyone should vote on which employees should get to take it home. Who it's most like or who it's most for. And then anything that doesn't get voted on can stay and they can sell it. Yeah, or Goodwill should be just an auction house. And you go in there and they have auctions every hour,

you go in there, they auction the stuff off, and then whatever doesn't get sold, you can have that if you're an employee. Like how often does Goodwill donate, you know, 5,000 shirts to like homeless people or something it's a good every like every hour usually i don't know if they're in there i don't know what like the of the extent of the goodwill operation i believe it's just that's it is the store so it's it's for

people to get uh... inexpensive clothing uh... they're having a little place in expensive but i will say i feel like in l a it's not cheap it doesn't mean the prices are not low enough they're not as though they should be a isn't good will also a charitable organization so i don't know i don't know i don't know i haven't do gold it myself i'd

like to have a real is problematic in some ways. People always get upset about that. They're like the name of charity. They're the name of altruism. But then you find out they suck just like everything else. But when I have suits, I will donate them to this company, to this organization that gives suits to homeless people who are trying to get jobs. I love that. I love when I can donate to a really specific cause where I think like, okay, this will actually get used

and then we'll just go in some pile and- Yes, this is their whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Well, I'm about to have a big ass donation because I'm going crazy getting rid of some. I'm feeling so good about it.

It feels great. I'm just, cause I've been shoving clothes in my closet and then going, I don't wear any of this. And it makes me feel bad about myself to see it all. And to feel like I'm, and a lot of it, a lot of it I have worn a lot. It's just, you know, the pandemic kind of changed my style and all that stuff, so.

I feel like my entire closet is aspirational. Like I'll get back, I'll get back to that at some point. And the pandemic is over. It's kind of how I felt too, but then I was thinking that was not making me feel good. I know. I was getting so close to that place of like there were a couple things that were like, oh, I'm almost there.

And then the holidays came and I gained a bunch of fucking weight back and now I'm trying to take that off. But the main thing is trying not to feel bad about it. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to feel. But I think that's good because then I'm trying, but the main thing is trying not to feel bad about it. You know? Trying not to feel. Yeah. But I think that's good because then I was like,

you know what, I just have to like, buy jeans that fit me right now, and then wear it, and then feel good about that, and then that's making me feel more excited. And so then I'm like, whatever happens next, I'll get new jeans, you know? Wearing clothes that fit you, as opposed to wearing clothes that almost fit you,

it's such, it feels so much better. Yeah, it's great. To be like not uncomfortable. And it just looks better. Yeah. We should buy each other a tailor sessions. We should buy each other wardrobes and just see what kind of style.

I once got sick of ravers. We should give each other $5,000. Okay, this is a good idea. This is a great idea. It's a great idea. If we each gave each other $5,000 to do whatever we want with. Yeah, nobody loses any money. But we feel like we got a gift. Wait, you're getting a gift.

Emergency alert. Oh, I have those off, I guess. I'm not getting them. Missing endangered elderly. Oh, no. No, silver alert. Details at, I'm not going to click on those. Unless the elderly wanders through my house.

I'm not going to see them. I would absolutely say. If they did, I'd be fascinated to click on those. Unless the, unless the elderly wanders through my house, I'm not going to see them. I would absolutely say they're here. I would, I would click on that. I have information leading to the capture of this whole person. Capture and arrest, hopefully. Catch and release. I have a ton of, like, I have probably a

hundred podcast shirts, cause anytime we would make a shirt, I would get one and it's like, and I have probably a hundred podcast shirts, because anytime we would make a shirt, I would get one. And it's like, and I'm never going to wear them because I don't want to be the person wearing your own shirt. I know. But I, but I want to honor the fact that- I have an idea. Yes, what? Make a quilt.

Aww. We recently did that for my dad with some old shirts from his travels and it's so nice. I love that. that's fantastic. He thought my mom donated the shirts and he was like fine with them being, he was like okay it's time I'm gonna just donate. You want me to make a quilt for your dad? Yeah.

About your podcast. I actually was gonna do one of my podcast shirts too because I have a lot of shirts like that and I was like it'd be cool to, or like from like shows or like you know things I've done. That stuff is really hard to part with, I find. I think a quilt is a cute way to have it. I think so too.

Then it's like kind of special and you can just also fold it up into one box. It's not like a big deal. What if I have a suit made? Of all the shirts. Oh yeah, of all the shirts. It would be so comfortable. What a comfortable suit.

Yeah. It would be like pajamas. Maybe I'll just make pajamas. How about that? Pajamas. Paul, I would be like pajamas. Maybe I'll just make pajamas, how about that? Pajamas. Paul, I would like to see you wearing pajamas in the shape of suits. And I know they have to make them, right?

Like three piece pajamas? Oh, I'm sure they do. They have to, right? Three piece pajamas. I'm sure they do. Oh, I had a pair years ago, somebody made me a pair of double-breasted pajamas, but they never quite fit right,

but they were very cool. They were like almost like a Terry Clough material. Double-breasted pajamas. Yeah, they looked really neat. Snapple-chested pajamas. Skeeble-grobble-double. I'm the Hamburgler. Smeble-lobble-lieble.

And the business associates. Double, double, toil and trouble. I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal,

I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal,

I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, I'm the doobal, They imitate it. Why would they? Offspring, come on. Yeah, they rip it off. I didn't know that that was an imitation. That's fucking ridiculous. That's dumb. I know. That's dumb. You don't get to, no.

It's the first time I thought the Offspring wasn't the smartest band. Really? That's like, if you hosted a variety show and at the end you tugged your ear every time. It's like, this is my homage to Carol Bray. Is it that epic that they did that? Like, I don't know it.

I mean, it was a big hit. It's epic. Oh, so epic. Cause at't know it. I mean, it was a big hit. It's epic. Oh, it was so epic. Cause at which song were they photographed? Well, it was a big hit when Offspring did it. Which song? When Def Leppard did it. Did Offspring do it.

Come out and play, I believe. All right. Is that the one where they yell? Or keep them separated. It might. He ba-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam. Is it, why don't you get a job? I don't know.

Well, I'm sure someone knows and they are tweeting at us now. That guy, when I'm thinking about them now, that guy just, he just yelled, right? He just- Dexter Holland? Dexter Holland. Hey, he's got a doctorate in something. So he's one of the smartest front men in rock.

What if he yells as a doctor? What if you have a doctorate? I am a doctor! When people have like- Chemistry or something like that? Like, SCDs, he's a doctor? I am a doctor. When people have chemistry or something like that. He's like, you gotta keep them separated. Your penis and vagina. I'm talking about genitals. Yeah. I believe I went to his party at his house once.

Not Amy Schumer's son. Did you really? I think so. I think I did. You went to his what? Put your coats in the bedroom. What? Put your coats in the bedroom. I thought you were telling Janie because she was still going through clothes. You think that's how I talk to my wife?

How dare you? You talk to Janie like Dexter Holland sings at us. All right, we have to take a break. Okay, good. All right, we'll be right back with the three-chart. All right. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp, and Lauren, I have a question for you. Yeah. Will you think about your favorite leaders,

mentors, and idols? Yes. Thank you. You know, they don't all have the answers, do they? But they know when to ask questions or seek support from their community, right? Well, yeah, we live in a society that glorifies hyperindependence. It's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us.

I got to tell you, therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing that we're better when we ask for help. Yeah, starting therapy was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I had some big issues I needed to talk about with somebody who wasn't one of my friends over and over and over again. It was nice to get a unbiased opinion. Hey, what are you guys doing? Oh, we're just talking about therapy.

Well, I- Wait, are you really? Yeah. Because better help makes finding a therapist easy. It's fully online and gives you access to a diverse network of more than 30,000 credential therapists with a wide range of specialties. Plus you can easily switch therapists at any time with no extra cost. Hey Lauren, build your support system with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash threedom to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H E L p dot com slash freedom. Are you not talking to me? Yeah, you too, Paul. Ready to optimize your nutrition this year. Factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you.

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box plus free shipping. That's called factor podcast at factor meals.com slash factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Paul, would you say factor podcast again? Factor podcast. And we're back. We're singing bad eyes. These eyes. eyes, the hurting's on me. I don't think I know that one. But I will never be free no more. Free no more. What song is this? The guest Pooh, These Eyes.

Cry every night for you. I don't have any guesses, just tell me. Scott, this is fun. It puts me in mind of Abbott and his friend Costello. I believe I did this with on a certain show where I was talking about the band that sang American Woman. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised.

That sounds like you. All right, it's time for a three-chair, guys. Are you guys ready? It truly is. And I'm ready. And Scott, I can even read this one to you and Lauren. Yeah, go ahead. That would be absolutely splendid.

Lauren, thank you. Here it comes. This was submitted by Elliot Mattson. Does he turn into Shazam? No. That's a different Mattson by the name of Batson. Batson. This is called Sitcom Heart to Heart. And the theme song goes like this, Lauren. Sitcom Heart to Heart. It's time to share your part. Don't let out a fart. Cause it's a sitcom heart to heart. Perfect. Thank you.

Players one and two. Players one and two play. I was like, just keep going. Just keep going. Players one and two play the parental figures of a late eights early 90s era sitcom. They go into player three's bedroom, player three is the child, to have a heart to heart talk with them about something that happened that day. This is classic sitcom stuff. The parental

figures determine what the scenario is ahead of time to discuss with the child and through their chat condolences admonishment, the child is to figure out what it is exactly that they did correct so that the people are the parents will text each other and agree upon it what the event was and then the third person has to figure it out so they learn whom should be the child learn and i will be parents you're the guy i a m

and child as we all know his father to the man i'm texting you, Lauren. Okay, great. Here we go. And sense. All right, there we go. I have... Hey. Hey, honey.

Hey, mom, hey, dad. Hey, honey. Can you wanna put your phone down for a second? Do you mind putting that down, honey? Yeah, sorry. What is it? What are you playing with? You know, we're playing a game. Your penis is out? What are you playing with? You know, playing a game.

That's your penis is out. What are you doing? Just playing a sex game. I thought it was a song. No, I have my phone next to my penis to play the game. For like to compare sizes? Honey, we're getting on track here. We have to focus on what's going on.

Okay, we're not here to punish you for whatever weird sex game. We didn't even know you were doing that. We'll punish you for that later, I guess. Yeah. Paul, um... Yeah? We heard about what happened.

Yeah, we heard. You did, huh? Yeah, they called. They called to tell us. We're none too pleased. They called you? Yeah. They called it.

Well, they texted first. And then... And then they called? It was too many texts, you know, back and forth. So we're just like, let's just pick up the phone. Which one called? Principal Drex. Principal Drex?

Yeah, and he told us what the people in charge of the whole thing said. What do you call them? I don't know the terminology for this hobby of yours. Paul, this, you know who's in charge and you know what you did. And I mean, we just, we think you're way too talented for that, you know?

You're too talented, Paul. You're too smart. You can't do this. But I mean, did they say anything positive? Well, I mean, all they had, yeah, all they have to say is positive things other than what you did. You could have, you know. Oh, from your tone, I thought something was wrong.

Well, it is wrong. Well, the one thing that you did wrong is really wrong. But I mean. It's only a disservice to yourself and to us. Yeah. Well, it's a disservice to us because we're the ones who trained you. And we put all the money into this.

Yeah. It's a lot of money, Paul. It's expensive for you to get your dorky glasses and your stupid outfit. Yeah. And the actual, you know, the board ain't cheap. You know what I mean? The board. The little. Of course, the board ain't cheap. You know what I mean? The board.

The little. Of course, the board. I can't believe I did that. What did they tell you that I did? Well, what do you think you did? I mean, you. You won't trick us into. The, I mean.

I know I was there with my dorky glasses and my stupid outfit. And the board. And there was the board. And I don't know, I guess I just got nervous. I don't think it's, you got nervous. I think that you were trying to help someone less fortunate or less intelligent than you. And that's maybe not the right, I saw this person and that made me nervous.

And so I thought I got to help. Why are you nervous to see you see this person every single day at school? This is your, you know, relationship every single day at school. This is your relationship to them. You know what it is. I don't want to put a label on it, but it's my classmate. I think. Yeah, but a little more than a classmate. Yeah, I mean, my friend.

Yeah, but a little more than, I mean, you know, like my status. Yeah, exactly. Wesley is, you know, he's part of our family, but. I know you guys love Wesley. Sometimes I think you like more than me. We don't. And we actually were really upset. We might start loving him more than you if you let him continue to let him excel in this area.

Yeah, I know, but I guess I felt bad for him because he's my best friend and all. And I thought like, maybe I should let him excel in this area instead of me for a change. But you're the genius. I know. That's why I wanted him to feel like it. Like he doesn't even know what the horse is called. I know, but I told him it's the knight and you just imagine a knight riding on him. And he rides all over the chessboard. Then he talked about David Hasselhoff and Knight Rider for like four hours.

I'm like, how old are you? That's not on me. I mean, that shows in reruns. So we see it. I guess so. Kit, all that. Yeah. Um, the whole thing, but look, you get, you, we, we pay the money so you can go

out there and prove it to schools that you're a genius. I know, but I thought, you know, my friend Wesley, he never gets a chance to do this, so I gave him my outfit and my stupid glasses and I let him impersonate me in the big chess match. Well, that was the weird part that we didn't hear about. Oh, shit. Nobody told us that.

Forget I said that. So you're just swapping outfits with Wesley? He's my best friend. Wait, so that video of you doing the Six Flags. Or were you naked after you gave him the outfit? What were you saying, Mom? That video I saw of you doing the Six Flags dance, like that old man.

Yeah. Dindindindindindini, or whatever the song is. Dindindindindin. So that wasn't you? Dindindindin. No, that was me. Wesley was holding the camera. So wait, so you gave Wesley your outfit.

Yeah. And you dressed up like the old man in the six packs? No, that video is old, that video is old. There's nothing to do with this. Sorry, I just got TikTok. Okay. But look, the- My mom's on TikTok?

Oh no. When do you see my dance? No, mom. Everybody's talking about the way that it was. No. No. No. No.

No. But look, Paul, these things are important because if you get noticed, if you get noticed by winning these, it can open up colleges, you know? I mean, you can't just do what you did, you know? And let Wesley. Okay, so, right can't just do what you did, you know? And let Wesley. Right, so that's what you're mad about.

I let Wesley impersonate me for the chest turn. No, we didn't know about the impersonate. That part's weird. We're mad at you because you let him win. Are we just saying it? Oh, I thought he already did say it, basically. I let him win. You forfeited.

You threw the whole thing. Well, but I did for a good reason. I mean, Weser doesn't ever feel smart. I thought, what if I let him feel smart for a change? Are you gonna cry? Yeah. You little pussy. I didn't raise a pussy.

I did. Thank you, honey. You also married one. Oh, thank goodness. And that's a sitcom, whatever it was. Wesley's Friend was filmed before a live studio audience. The show is called Wesley's. Wesley's hardly in it. We talk about it a lot.

It's a spinoff, but it's like... I don't think I actually said it. I think I was close, but Scott did, I think, just let me know what it was. Yeah. And then I did too. Yeah, you confirmed it. I mean, I was dancing around you. You just said it.

Everybody's talking about... Everybody's talking about... Ooh. I just got a text. Excuse me, I'm Eileen. Is this Mr. Everybody's talking about. I just got a text. Excuse me, I'm Eileen. Is this Mr. Jason's phone number?

Mr. Jason. Obviously, yes. What if she's calling Jason Momoa? Oh, Jason Momoa. You could pretend to be him. It's me, Aquaman, ain't it? King of the seven seas. All right.

So now do you want to do it again? I don't know. Let's do one more. Let's make it a little tighter and I do want to rest my old peepers. Who wants to be the child? I'll be the child. Okay. God bless the child. You want to text me the thing?

Yes, God, I do. Oh boy, Lauren. I have a daughter, Lauren. Hey Lauren, your dad and I, we need to talk to you about something. Lauren, we gotta talk to you. What, I'm in the middle of something. What are you doing? It's not what you did before, is it?

No, I'm recording shows over your favorite home videos. What? I wish you wouldn't do that. Recording your own podcasts? I'm recording like Dawson's Creek onto a tape that has your precious home videos. No, not Dawson's Creek. Regional, that's where I'm from.

Listen, honey, we have to talk to you about something very important. What is it? Well. It's your behavior. Yeah, mine eat rocks. Hey, we don't say that in this house. Doesn't really make a lot of sense. If you need a refresher, go out front and read the sign.

What doesn't make sense? Cause you wouldn't eat rocks cause they don't taste good? Yeah, no one would eat rocks. So to tell someone to do that. I think the first thing I think is how they would break your teeth. I don't even think about the taste, but they probably would also taste very bad. Listen, no more of your goddamn. We have to talk to you about something very serious.

Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Fine. What? Do you remember what you did on, on a Sunday? What? When I ate all Halloween candy and then barfed it up into your closet. You did that on Sunday?

I don't know what day it was. I'm just a kid, I don't have a calendar. Well, you know what you did on Sunday because Sunday is why you did it. Oh yeah, because I didn't want to go to church. Yeah, exactly. And boy, oh boy, did you ever not want to go to church. Yeah, you let everyone know it.

Well, so? You ruined church for everyone. Uh, why? Cause I ate the Eucharist? No. Farted on the stage. I think it was a little bit bigger than that. Yeah, you want to- it was bigger than you going up on stage at church.

Oh, wait, what? Cause I got up on the cross and then did my little, like, dance? Cause I got up on the cross and then did my little like dance. No. You did that too? Thank God no one's alive for remembering. I don't like hearing about that. Yes.

Well then what did I do? I mean, what? What was so offensive? Listen, honey, I want to talk to you. When I got in the pews and used my knees to kind of walk like I was going down the pew little like bench thing. No, people liked that actually. That actually was a big hit. No, people liked that actually. Okay.

That actually was a big hit. We, yeah, before, before the tragedy. We- Stop guessing, stop guessing for a second, honey. And let me, let me just talk to you. You know, when I was about your age, I did something that got everybody so mad at me. I thought no one would ever like me again.

What did you do? Oh, I stabbed a guy in the bank. But when I confessed- Where's the bank. But when I confessed, what I'd done. Where's the bank? The bank on Fifth. Oh, oh, oh, oh, you mean inside a bank, oh, okay. Yeah, no, I went inside the bank and I stabbed one of the times.

No, I thought when you said stabbed him in the bank, I thought that was a bodyguard. Sounds like you guys have something to work out. Goodbye. Why would you think that? That's weird. We'll talk about that later. I thought it was a cool new hip slang term

for like a nose or something. Door closed. Right in the old bank. Hey, hey, hey, ah! Ow! Don't ever close the, we don't close doors in this house! We'll talk about that later. I thought it was a cool new hip slang term for like a nose or something. Hey, hey, hey, ah! Ow! Don't ever close the, we don't close doors in this house! I'll take it off the goddamn hinges! You should to close doors, because every time you take a shit,

it fucking sucks so loud. You should to close doors, you should to close doors. Oh yeah, I missed it. You sound like a fool. Anyway, after I confessed what I had done, people were mad, but they forgave me, and I realized what I had done, people were mad, but they forgave me. And I realized what I did was wrong. Even the person that you stabbed forgave you?

No, he didn't make it. Fine, I confess. Okay. This, yeah. I mean, your father, your father only did that to one person. You did it to everyone. I drank the wine and stole the money from the basket. This is getting worse and worse.

This is worse and worse before what you did? All right, give me a hint, which thing I'm supposed to talk about. You fucking maniac. That's the biggest thing that killed everyone. This is huge and you can't remember it. When I... What? Listen, now no one will ever be able to go to church again. And we're never going to be allowed.

Because I burned the church down? Yes. You dumb little creep. So what? You're a nightmare. I did all that other fun stuff first. Everyone was inside. But they didn't die.

Yes, they did. You're a mass murderer. That's a really bad thing I did. We're the police, by the way. Are you confessing? You're not dad and dad? Well, we are, but we're also cops. Yeah, we've been with you. That's a really bad thing I did. We're the police, by the way. Are you confessing? You're not dad and dad? Well, we are, but we're also cops.

We've been working undercover this whole time. You've been undercover my whole life, waiting for me to do something bad. We had a bad feeling about you. We started going to the police academy in secret. And we just got our badges. Oh, wait, you actually went? I just watched police academy. Same thing. I mean, you really don't have to go that long. They gave me the badge.

Yeah, they gave you a fucking badge and a gun? Yeah. Anyway, hold out your hands, you're under arrest. Cuff me up, daddy. You're gonna be tried like an adult. Ba-da-doo-doo-doo-doo-twa. Sitcom, heart to heart. That was fun.

That was fun, I liked that one. I loved it. Well guys, it was great to see you. Lauren, feel better soon. I hope so. If there's not another episode next week, it's cause Lauren perished because of- That's not fair to say.

I don't like that at all. No, no, no, no, no. Or she quit, or she quit. If you perished. Maybe. Oh, that's true. Anyone of us could die at any moment. Yeah. Nothing is promised. Maybe. It's gonna happen at some point. Oh, that's true. Any one of us could die at any moment.

Nothing is promised. All right, everybody, stop listening now. But before you do, please know that we love you and that we are FreedomUSA on Twitter and Instagram and FreedomUSA at gmail.com if you would like to send us a fucking feature idea. Thanks for listening. And if you want to hear ad free versions or the archive, head over to Stitcher Premium or cbbworld.com.

And go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Bye bye. Bye. ["SHADOWS AND THE FUTURE"] Hey, everybody. That includes me. And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. Hey everybody! That includes me! And me.

Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes. In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions. Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium.

Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab.

Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do the crabs do that?

Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's childcare crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of childcare, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue,

but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.