Threedom - Threevisiting: You Carled Me Out

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss dares, baseball, and The Pepsi Challenge before playing Taboo Word. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lemonada. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better.

Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Freedom! I'm doing it with some pepping my stuff. But check me out. Ra, ra, sis, boom, bah. We must, we must, we must, we must increase our bust. La la la la la la la la la la.

And do we're gonna go take good care? You're good about a lot of night frames out there. I put that on a mixtape for... Really? I did. Wild World. Yeah. And there was something wrong with the tape.

and it recorded it like once but also another time just slightly off, weirdly enough. So, and I always, and what do you mean? And the person was like, this song's weird. It was like, hope you meet a lot. You know what I mean? It was just slightly off. For some reason, whatever, the tape recorded it that way. Slightly off.

Meaning it recorded it double time. Double, but one, it was like a millisecond. A millisecond off. So you do. It was later. So you sing Wild World and I'll do what it is. Ooh, baby, baby.

Stop that. That's very weird. It was hypnotic. I got hypnotized just now. I don't smoke anymore. Act like a chicken. No, I'm a chicken. Bama.

Oh, he looks like one. A chicken. His feathers are flopping all over. Can you believe in a chicken just walked in here? A chicken says what? Hi, everyone. Welcome to Threatem. This is 201.

I missed the 2001. You missed it. My name is Lauren. My name is Paul. My name is Scott. Why didn't you say it like me? I wanted you to have your own thing. I wanted it to be a thing we all did.

Let's start again. My name is Lauren. My name is Lauren. My name is Lauren. Is that what you wanted? This is like Scott's mixtape all over again. And what did the person, the person said this is weird and they blamed you. Yeah.

They were so mad of me. You probably hate to. still? Um, no. It's Kulap? No. I'm on good terms with people that I used to see.

He's got secrets. Or maybe not. He does have secrets. Why do you have so many secrets? I can't tell you. Fuck, another one. Ironically, it's a secret. Oh.

Isn't there a lie detector game show? I hope so. Um, because I want to play you on it. It doesn't sound that. You play the character of all of Tompkins. What? It doesn't sound that familiar to me.

We should do a freedom board game. Doesn't that seem like it would be an obvious game show? Lie detector? Yeah. I mean, there's been lie detectors in shows. That's true. No, there has to be one. I remember lie detector game show.

Yeah, it sounds familiar to me. Lie detector game show. The moment of truth. Hosted by? Hosted by? of course what's his name Ron de Morris

No who's this guy This oh Mark De Carlos Marky Mark He was like the original Yeah Mark Wahlberg Yeah Mark Wahlberg Not that Mark Walbert

Yeah right Antiques Roadshow Mark Wahlberg Wasn't this guy The original Something something Something something Something? Well I almost said Bachelor

But I was like No I think he just looks like Chris Harrison No he was Antiques Road Show Is that for real? Yeah He's probably hosted other stuff

And he was like You know what? I think all these people are lying I want to do my next show I wanted to be all about liars You know what I hate I hate people lie I hate people lie about

how much the objects are worth I would expose them to be a fraud He was the original Temptation Island guy And then he came back to it Temptation Island As a contestant Yeah

No that's a show where you go With your partner And see if you want to fuck Somebody else Yeah I guess what If you even go on it You probably do

discuss to do I would you why else would you go on that show but all these people go and like I'm doing it just to prove that we love each other I mean that's solicitation well they don't I mean women on the show get paid to seduce these people don't they hell yeah and it's always women suiting men is that correct no no sometimes it's all the couples yeah no the men all the couples I'm saying there's not the men try to people on the island who are trying to tempt you oh it's like all these couples go and then they start hugging up with each other. Yeah, of course.

Well, no, no, no. They put hot people on. They put like 20 hot men, 20 hot women. Forgot how it works. I like my idea better. I like your idea better, too. It's a little nastier. Because then it's like you have to convince everybody to go along with it.

Yeah. So that it's mutually assured description. We're not going to put any hot people on this island. Why do you assume couples aren't hot? Couples are never hot. Couples are fun. If you're coupled up out there, you ugly. Everyone knows this.

Apples aren't hot. I guess you're right. Yeah. It's too bad, really. It's too bad. It's just the way it is. It happens to all of us. Somethings will never change.

He had something called the Mark Wahlberg show, and it lasted two episodes. That's not long. Did you hear him say it? Carl's. Yeah, I know. We both let him go. And there's also one of those things where I was like,

oh, he said Carl, but it's because the next word he was going to say was Mark. So I got why he did it. And the L and Mark. Clark L. Walbert. But I got what he did it. Shush. I just was like... Scott, Scott, shush.

Yeah, I get why he did it. It was like... It would have been really fun to make fun of it because... Yeah, because it was a funny thing. It was like he carled something. He carled, yes. Like, that's not a thing. You can't carol something.

Yeah. Unless you're Carl Tart and he can curl whatever you want. I guess you, but what happens when he carls something? What happens when you Paul? Oh, fuck. I don't expect this to get turned around on me. Oh, yeah. She's going to respond to some meme.

of you guys are. Are you who you're carling? It's good. Now, reality recap, yeah. Yeah, please. I just dipped my toe into the new love is blind season, okay? And I'm not...

Did your tea? Yeah, and it's not... It's been over for months. I was going to say, it's not new anymore, of course. First episode, I just want to talk about one thing that happens. Sure. First episode, this guy has a list of questions, and so, you know, they can't see each other

on either side of this partition. Blind. Right. love and he's like I have 15 questions one through 15 name a number and then I'll read you the question you can answer it and then the girls will I would honestly pretend I wasn't there and like seven or whatever then he reads the question and one girl goes so he's like I don't know the question it's like what's one thing you wish you did differently in a relationship I don't know and then these are all like conversation starters yeah might have been that but and then the girl's like such and such what about you he goes well I didn't expect it to get turned around on me. I'm like, how on earth are you going to write a list of questions and not think they're going to say, and what about you? Or even when you're writing the questions, it wouldn't prompt you to think of your own life. I know. It was so odd. Well, this is the guy who is like, I don't know what's going to have. I don't know what's going to have. Yeah, but then he

hits it off with one girl in the first episode and it seems like his real personality is underneath there somehow and it's more at ease. But and then this other time this girl's just answering a question. She goes on and on and he just leaves the room and she doesn't know because she can't see him. He's just like done and he just like leaves. That was such a funny power move to me of just like she's talking and talking. He just like gets up and go ahead. But it's not a power move. Do you know that happened to me? IRL. Really? This was many years ago at the Aspen Comedy Festival and I was there doing Driven to Drink. That's one man show that I had written around that time. and in this show, I told this disgusting story about mopping up a bar table with a rag and then squeezing the rag into a glass and drinking it.

Because you were so hungry for alcohol? The phrasing of that really got me. It was because somebody had. dared one of us to do it. And then once the first person did it, then we all felt like we had to do it. Well, that's not how that works. No, it's terrible.

But after the shows at the last night, and I'm at, you know, there's some party, rap party for the whole festival. And a guy came up to me and I forget, he worked for something or other in the business, some network or something. And he, said, you know, I really liked your story.

I really liked your show and that story was so crazy. And I was trying to tell this now very famous person about it. And then that famous person was there and this guy calls him over and says, oh, you have to hear this story. And I'm like, well, it's better. It's better. Yeah, it's better than the show. It's kind of a full bit. And the guy was like really pressuring me.

And so I was like, okay. So I started to tell the story. and then the soon-to-be-famous guy just kind of looked away and then walked away. In the middle of it. I love this. Not even in the middle.

Oh, really? At the beginning. He was just like, I'm done. I don't think I got that far into it. He's like, I didn't want to hear this. And to his credit, this guy didn't want to tell it. So why should I be here? Wow.

Interesting move. And then I was like, oh, sorry about that. I got to hear who both of these people are. Sorry, he has to go be famous. They're waiting for him outside. And you know what? He had a schedule to keep and it worked because now he's famous. Is he someone that I would know?

Yeah. He's very famous. Have I met him? Probably. And I couldn't say for sure, but probably. I'd love to piece this together by you telling me when we're not recording. Exactly. Perfect.

And I mean, the person was not... I don't even blame him. He was not super rude. I don't blame him at all. I think he was the right thing. It was humiliating, of course. No, no, no. It's not cool.

It's not cool. Walk away from someone who's talking. Have you ever gotten the chance to do it to this person? person. No. You should put yourself in a situation where you turn the tables on them.

Fuck. And then just go, remember me from 30 years ago? Here's what I got to do. I got to track down that same guy. Yeah. And get him to prompt the famous person to tell a story to tell the same story.

You just remember. Exactly. It's got to be the same story that I told. So they don't really know how it feels. Just reminded me of this podcast that I was like, binging and then completely forgot about heavyweights. I don't know what that is dear.

It's where people have like a problem with someone from their past and then this guy, the host like goes and like helps the two people reconnect to like figure it out or something. Oh my God. Some of it's his own personal stuff and some of it's other people. Jesus. Would you do that? But it's really interesting. I don't know that I have like a lingering question about maybe I do.

But I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I do it in that context, but it's kind of a safe context. There's a girl who was kicked out of her sorority and she never understood why. So then this guy kind of like reconnects her with all these people. She's a bitch. She's a basic bitch. But I mean then like another episode, one of the first episodes is like his, the host's uncle and dad don't speak and he reconnects them. Wow.

And then they have like a meeting and it's on the podcast. And you hear it? Yeah. And they're all really interesting. Every word? Every word is interesting. And there's one that. is the host friend.

This is a really good episode. He basically, like, was friends with Moby back in the day. Back in what day? 90s. That one day he was famous. And gave Moby the CDs that he ended up using as, like, the mixes within play. Yeah. It was all old slave songs, which is also really crazy.

Oh, my God. And he, but then Moby never. never acknowledged that the CDs were lent by that guy. He just was like, oh, I thought this was a cool music that I found and I just lent it to him. Like in the credits, would it have been like, music lent to me by this stuff? Well, like, even he just always wanted him to say thank you. And then he would call him asking for the CDs all the time and Moby just never would reply because he wanted them back. He's like, I just want them back at this point.

Because they're rare? Because they're rare. Right. And then the host takes that guy to Moby's house. To Moby's house. And then they have a conversation in this whole thing. Oh my God. It's really interesting.

Jesus. Did Moby know this was going to happen? Yes, but he did. And he, like he knew who was coming over and stuff. He just maybe didn't know why or maybe he did, but he allowed it. And I used to see Moby cleaning, like, tending to his deck chairs on his, in his back deck. Wow.

When I would hike sometimes. You mean when you would hide. When I would hide on his deck. But anyway, really interesting stuff. But I totally, I was like binging it, like, I'm sorry. I was, like, binging it. like obsessively and then I completely, I just real remember. So I got to get back in.

Why was it called heavy weights? Heavy weight, like a heavy weight that you're carrying. Okay, okay, okay. And yeah, because each person's kind of like, why is this thing like this? Why does my heart feel so bad? I loved that album. Yeah, it's still good.

Yeah. I don't remember anything of it at all. Here we are now. Go it to the west side. I don't think that was on that one. And you know what else? When somebody, when somebody says, As Mobee, I always think of Fat Boy Slim.

Oh, yeah, good. Well, they're kind of wanting to say. I'm going to brave you like a cheer. Now, of course, Scott, you know my famous character, the guy who can't do vibrato but tries to do it anyway. Of course. Oh, say, can you see by the dog early love? That's all he sings too.

He only sings the national anthem. Natal. I know we've talked about this, but you guys haven't sung the national anthem at a baseball game. No, I have not. We got it. Come on.

Hire the three of us together. Well, he has a trio. I know someone who knows someone in the A's organization. The Oakland A's? The Oakland A's. The Oakland Athletics. And he said it would be entirely possible that I could sing.

the national anthem at an A's game. You should. But you have no connection to the A's, do you? No. Who cares? I've been to Oakland. Most of the people singing don't have a connection. I like green and yellow.

I'm saying L.A. Dodgers, what's going on? Anytime I go there. Some jerk. Just that no one knows. One time was this old man and his son. They were dressed the same. Sounds good. No, that was the Oscars with

the end memory of Andrea Boccelli. And son? And co. No, but I mean, look, no one knows us either, but that's exactly who goes up and sings. So we'll do it as a trio. We'll trade off lines. We'll do a little rap in the middle. It'll be great.

We'll do a Fergie style. Yeah. It's just a little story about the national anthem. That's the rap. Yeah. The number one anthem with the national anthem. Sir Francis got key. He's the guy.

He saw all those bombs going up in the sky. And it's a weird owl Our national anthem doesn't that suck? It really fucking sucks It's a song parody It's a song parody What? It's the tune is an old drinking song

Yeah In English drinking song I mean every time you hear it It makes you want to drink right Yeah it makes me wish I was drunk Right Because I'm at a sports game Tossing back peanuts

Getting all dehydrated Yeah Why do we have to sing that At the fucking game That's the thing It doesn't belong It doesn't belong Take it out of that, take it out of football.

There's so much weird like America rah-rah, patriot bullshit going on. Jets flying over. But here's the thing. If you add it to whatever, like, we should have to sing it before every episode of this. And then people will be like, this is America's podcast. You mean on mic? Because we do it off mic. Yeah, well, sure.

I think people think of this as America's podcast. Yeah. What else would it be? What else would be America's podcast if not this? I really don't know. I don't think there's anything more patriotic on what we. do. Lauren, when you're right, you're right.

I mean, that's just facts. I can't imagine something more patriotic than this. But yeah, I mean, I don't think they ever used to do it in NFL games and they wouldn't even air it. But then suddenly, like, they start adding it in this jingoistic sort of like, you know, let's make football America's game. Who cares? Who gives an F?

But we do before every game, every type of game. Yeah. Now the seventh inning stretch We should do that for all sports All sports You're saying take me out to the ball game No matter what the sport is Like hockey

When does baseball start again It's probably any minute now Spring training is happening right now And we do it seven ninths Into whatever game is happening Yeah seven ninths in So a football game is four quarters We do this in the middle of the fourth

That's right That's right Okay Okay You know I would talk about this I think but I went my, the most recent time I went to a Dodgers game, it was, I was invited to a special box, you know? Yeah.

And I was like, that's the only way to do this. Some, at some points I was thinking it'd be cooler to be in the stands, actually, which I hadn't done it a million years. You know what? I only, that's the only way I've ever done it, but. I did that for a, um, a basketball game. A box. Yeah.

Yeah. And it was fun. It's fun because you can like really have a conversation. You can move around. Yes, yes, yes, yes. get some food. All you can eat. It's all very easy.

But there is something about the baseball boxes when I've seen them. I don't think I've ever been inside one, but it always seems like with the window and everything that it just feels weird. Like a baseball game happens to be going on. You also have seats outside. You can. I know. I know.

Paul, you have seats. I did one time I sat like right behind or just to the left of home plate because a friend had this great hookup with seats. And Owen meaning you had never hit a. ball right into your face, right? And you died. Well, I had the net. No, I wanted to.

I wanted to. It was going to be suicide by baseball. Right. But there you had. What's the name of that thing with Owen Meaney? A prayer for. A prayer for him. I only know that.

Or Simon Birch. That's right. That's the movie version. That's right. Jim Carries in Simon Birch. Jim carries in Simon Birch. He's married. Jim Carries and Simon Berg.

Is he him as an adult or something? He's the adult Simon's best friend. Wow. Weird, huh? It's funny that they still made that movie where it's like it got so far away from the source material. And why not call it Owen meaning?

Just because it got so far away from it? I think so. And there's like, I don't know. We're in for a penny, in for a pound, I guess. We're going to keep doing this movie. Still have never seen it, although I will say it was released on stereo DTS laser disc format. You should do it on Scott hasn't seen with Paul.

With you. No, I'm not available. You know I want to do these with you. I can only do the one that I do. No. We're going to run out next year. Then I need you to do every episode. No, no, no.

I'm going to replace Sean. Yes. No, no, no. I hate him. I can't be Sprague. Yeah, you have to play Sprague. Spragway. Okay, guys, we have to take a break.

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I hope it's never again. If I had to make a choice. It's really fucking up my head, man. Just out of a selfish. People don't know, but on the three-mium, you mentioned that you had three cups of coffee today. Yeah. And it's really not good. I shouldn't have done it.

I shouldn't. But I was so sleepy. Yeah. I was so sleepy. I always think coffee seems like a fun idea. It seems like a fun idea at 4 p.m. or something like you've never had it? What? No.

You've never had coffee in your life. I think I took a sip once 15. years ago. No mocha, no Java. I smell it every day. Do you like the smell of it? I do like the smell of it. It's nice, right?

I just, I don't drink caffeine. And then I think, if I did, maybe I'd like it. Maybe I should do it. Interesting theory. Why not? I'm a little pepping me step. Why not try it on Mike on our next episode? Oh, shit.

No. You know our next episode, we're taping at 9 a.m. Oh, that's right. Oh, I love to drink caffeine. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Do it. What if we did the Pepsi challenge with you?

What's that? You never had a soda? You never had a soda? What? I used to drink it all the time. You never had a Coke of cola? I don't drink caffeine now. I stopped drinking caffeine when I was 19, actually.

I haven't had caffeine beverage. The average age of a soldier in Vietnam? Besides a sip here or there. Caffeine? Yeah, I've had a sip of Coke, you know, once every few whatever's. But it's been about 19 years since I've regularly drink so caffeinated soda. Dear, let me tell you what the Pepsi challenge was. Yes.

I took it. Of course, we all did. Where'd you do it? At home. Oh, no, no, no. I did the official one. The official one at the mall or whatever? At Magic Mountain.

The Pepsi challenge was a gauntlet thrown down by Pepsi. And they said, essentially, Coke is better than, is not as good as Pepsi. Well, that's wrong. Pepsi's better. Like Coke is so popular. And yeah, Pepsi's popular too. but everyone says, oh, can I have a Coke?

Can I have a Coke? Pepsi tastes better. And we are talking about your poodle. Yes, Pepsi. How do you remember that? It's honestly because I'm listening back to the episode Saturday, so they're actually seeping in a little more. Oh, that's right.

You would listen to all of our episodes yesterday. French Canadian poodle. So they would blindfold people. Yeah. And they would leave them to a bunker probably 15 miles away. Yeah, it was cover with spiders. So you wouldn't know. where you were.

They would drive around in a circle for a while, so you have no sense of direction. Yeah, yeah. Then they'd spin you around, push you on this bunker. And then you had to put your hand in some spaghetti. Yeah, and then someone would crouch behind you,

they would push you over. Yeah. But is the Pepsi Challenge just tastes testing? Oh, Pepsi. Yes, and then eventually you would blindfold or you would take Sips of Pepsi. That's not hard at all. That's the easiest test of the world.

You think they're very similar? No, you would say what you'd like to better, dear. Okay. It doesn't matter. you would know which one's which. It's not about... God. No, you wouldn't.

From the taste. God, damn it. You haven't drank it in 19 fucking years. How do you know what you know? Let's do it tomorrow. I will know. All right. You'll know you haven't had it in two decades.

I've sipped Coke in recent history, but it's so strong now. Having not drank it for a long time, it's very cereal. Yeah, now legal Coca-Cola? No, I mean, like... In my day? I like drink it so much growing up. up that like you'll know you'll just absolutely and i know i know if you got if you got pepsy rc coke diet coke oh we got to do this yeah i you know them all i love rc cola

perpetual number three you maybe number four do you think you could tell the difference between diet coke and pepsi between diet coke and diet pepsi or diet coke and regular pepsi yeah because the latter of course diet cook and diet pepsi i could definitely tell it from a ladder no but couldn't you You don't think you could tell Coke Like if I was climbing up a Pepsi Lauren, it's not about telling them apart It's about which one is better. But when you're tasting them, you're going

That one's Coke, that one's Pepsi. You can't, but look, I'm just Lauren! Well, here's what happened. There's nobody who, nobody who's a fan of fucking pop. Can I just tell you my experience? And I love this because I'm going to get them all wrong. No, let's hear. I tell you my experience when I did this at Magic Mountain.

He's a veteran of the Pepsi challenge. And thank you for your service. You're welcome. Now, these commercials were... They should salute people at ball games that took the Pepsi Challenge. These commercials were all over national television. Okay. I wanted to be on one.

Yeah. You take the Pepsi Challenge thinking they're probably filming you while you take it. Yes. Even though there's no cameras around. You're like... Now, in retrospect, in hindsight, it was just something... They're using a long lens. Yeah.

Yeah. But I, so I take it going like, I got to pick Pepsi in order to... Because that's how you get in the commercial. because you say I like this one more. So I take it. You can only get on the commercial choosing Coke if you look real dumb. Yeah. And then they spit it out.

Tube of music behind you. You have like one of those like spin-wee pinwheel hats on or something. Spin-wee pinwheel hats. So I take this and I go, okay. You curled me up. I obviously know the difference between Pepsi and Coke. Yeah. I'm going to pick the Pepsi so I get on the commercial.

I've reached the age of reason. Sure. I'm eight years old. No, honestly, I really would be surprised if we got it. wrong. So what do I do? They taste different. I taste them both and I go, oh yeah, I obviously know what this is. And I pick the Pepsi. Turns out it was

Coke. Okay. Now I'm really screwed. A child got them wrong? If you got it wrong? Your palate was only catering towards those flavors at that point. I think throwing RC in there really makes it. R.C., yeah, yeah. RC. is really going to throw it off a lot

because RC is basically like a more like a Pepsi. Well, if it's a A and W root beer in there too. No. I don't like root beer. Everyone knows root beer. Yeah, it tastes like licorice.

You know a ginger beer? No. Lashings of ginger beer? No. Should we just do it as a total, total, like an M&M's challenge? Pepsi Coke, that's it. Just so we can really tell.

Let's see. Because honestly, I haven't had Pepsi in many, many years. Okay. But I do think I'll be able to. Because I'm the one who has to buy this. Get it tonight. Okay, that's good news. Go get it.

You thought you were? I had no idea. We hadn't discussed it. I don't have time. I don't have time either, but. You're going to do it. I'll figure out some way to do this because I, because I really, and we have to blindfold you.

I tell you what. But we all have to do it. I'll buy the soda. You'll buy the soda. Yes. I'll buy it on the way home. Okay. That's good.

Whoa. Are you going to go to the foster, or what was it? Foster. It's on the way home to. I mean, lunch. Okay. That sucks. But tomorrow's a perfect time to do it.

Tomorrow is a perfect time to do it. Perfect time to do it. So you'll buy the, so you're going to buy Pepsi, you're going to buy Coke. Are you going to do? I'm going to try to find R.C. Cola somewhere. Or another. Another cola. Yeah.

And then we'll blindfold each other simultaneously and try to figure out where all these glasses. Try to pour glass of soda. So our mouths to each other's but holes. It's really about can the third person tell. Can you tell from the shit? which one's which. Thanks for spelling it out. Okay, so that's going to be episode 202, the palindromic 202.

Can we make it 203 so it's not quite so early in the morning? We are recording at nine tomorrow. I think we should do that a little bit later. Okay, I'll allow it. Okay. We'll all get tummy aches. 203. I don't want to get a tummy ache.

I don't want to get a tummy ache. I just don't want to have it too late because I don't want to be up all night. We're not drinking so much. We're going to have a sip. No, I'm... You're going to judge? Big gulps. Big gulps.

I'm going to take big gulps. You know that the big gulp, the 7-Eleven big gulps, is named after the, like, rather large gulps that you would take when you would drink a very large soda. Do you have a big, break yet? No. Oh, shit. I'm pretty excited about this. You should be.

And I'm not even going to practice. Oh, if you practiced all night, that would be so sly. I should have. I've not said anything. I'd agree. It would be so sly. It would have been sly and really cool of me. What other animals are sly besides foxes, any?

I know, because why do they have that rap? I'm always wondering. They have that rep because, what, they sit around killing things? They sit around killing things. Did you feel like snakes are kind of sly? Yeah. They're always in these holes in their... But they have slither, so that's the SL for them.

They only get one SL? Yeah. All right. Bears get sleepy. Lions get slutty. That's right. Frogs are slippery. Seals are slutty.

So there's lions. Oh, okay. You just have slutty on the bird. I guess. Which animals are the sluggiest animals? Well. I know everyone's got their theories. Like which ones sleep around a lot?

Yeah. They don't have the same partner. I always feel bad for animals when you read these stories about like how spiders made or whatever. It's like, oh, so then, you know, the spider puts out a huge pheromone and then goes and has its way with the female spider and then it lays a million eggs. But then the spider eats it or something. I guess, but it's just, it sounds so bad for the female spider. It does. It actually seems like for all female animals.

You guys are so compassionate and you're such. I know. We're allies. We're allies. Cats. Female cats are like, wow, give it to me. And then it's happening. It's like, this sucks.

Stop doing the thing that I asked you to do. Well, we've already talked about animal penises, but cats have barbed ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing about this sounds good. Why do they? Why do they do it? And yet, I don't know. You would think there would be no more cats?

Why would the cats evolve to the point where the female goes crazy? Like, hey, everybody, come and give me sex. Yeah. And then the male cat has the barbed penis so that she can't run away. It's like she's there. She should at least be able to enjoy it. You don't need the barbs, dude. Yeah.

Like trim the barbs. Trim the barbs. I just don't feel like you can actually speak to what the female cat is feeling. Yeah, we don't know. That's the thing we've never been able to interview a cat. That's fair. So like you say, oh, she's there. Okay.

I mean, she's there for it. Oh, because she said something that you thought it sounded like. That noise she made sounded like the noise my mommy used to make. Yeah. when my daddy would have a loan time. And I know she wasn't enjoying that. Yikes. My mom would call my dad at work and just go,

wow, into the phone. And then you'd come rushing home. Nasty. They were nasty. Nasty. Oh, they were nasty. Six kids.

Nasty. Yeah. That's a lot. That's too mad. You're telling me. You're almost pregnant for like her whole adult life. Me? Your mom.

Yeah. Yeah. And you. You were pregnant your entire adult life. Feels that way sometimes. and I gave birth to show business. Goodbye. Ow!

Oh, no, Paul! He's doing his mating call. Oh, I get myself into tooth. Oh, no. All these cats have arrived at the door. That means he wants it. How do you interpret the cats yowling? No, it's horny.

It's a desperate call. It's a, it's, it's, all, you don't think it's confident? Confident? Yeah. Like, in a, b'b, bada, da, da, nah, now kind of way? Um, no, I feel that it's, well, it's powerful. Long hair, do what I dare. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, man, I'm in heat.

Bound, bough, bough, bough, bough. That's the thing, when you're watching a nature documentary, they always say, like, The male wants to do this and they don't know. We've never been able to talk to it. You know, there's this nature documentary docu-series that Holly always wants to watch because it's at the top of Disney Plus. And I put it on a few times because it's like, I think it might be a little cute. Some of the warnings at the top, you know what that's where it says like, this is rated such and such for whatever. It's like violence and acts of a sexual.

You know, it's like, I'm like, this is so aggressive. And then the episodes are like always some animal. stalked and preyed upon. And I just don't want... I don't want her... She just wants to see cute animals like rolling around. She wants to see the fucking puppy bowl. Yeah.

There's this book called Hug. Hug. Hug. Which is a... It's all about a monkey who... Oh, I have that. I have that. Yeah, yeah.

Like sees animals hugging, like two elephants hugging. It's like, oh, hug. I just acquired that. And he rips a woman's face off. Well, that's the thing. I'm hugging you. So like, he goes around the... animal kingdom is like, oh, hug, but he wants a hug and doesn't have one. And so this elephant takes

him around to look for where he's going to get a hug. And then finally his mom finds him as like, Bobo, and he's like, Mama. And he finally gets a hug. And then he hugs the elephant and says hug. And then the entire animal kingdom is there going, hug. And I'm thinking, they're all just going to murder each other. Yeah. If this were real life. Because they're all in the same place. Yeah, they're all in the same place. And they're all going like, hug. But let me tell you something. Yeah. The watering hole. The watering hole.

The watering hole. Of course. Of course. Of course. Yes. Much like our watering holes in life in the human kingdom. What? They go like,

hey, you can just have a drink here. Yeah. Yeah. We all agree. We all agree. We're just going to come here for drinks. There's nowhere else to drink.

So we all have to do it. Yes. So, you know. That's pretty nice. It is nice. But it's sort of like, but if I see you here by yourself,

Oh, it's on. If I'm a line and you're a gazelle, yeah. And you're by yourself, no other gazelles? Yeah. I'm going to get you. Yeah. Honda.

We should have watering hole rules with other countries and there would be no more war. Oh my God. Wow, what a beautiful image. It does seem like we should just be doing war AI now, right? Yeah, really. We're going to do it. Let's do it in a video game. It should be big video games.

Yeah. And the heads of country should have to play the game. And that's how you decide, this is somebody else's bit, I think. That you have to elect a person who's good at play. They have to show that they're good at playing video games. You got to do stand up with this tonight. I miss being a New Yorkie go up, 5, 10, 15, 20 times a night. You ever seen one of those World War II, like, I know they've done this in Dr.

Heward and stuff where it's like on Christmas Day, everyone stops fighting. and they all sing like both sides. Well, the famous Christmas artistus. Right. During World War I. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why don't the other people go like, Pff,

why don't we just not do it at all? That'd be really cool. Right. Right. Why do we have war? Honestly, though. War is stupid. And people are stupid.

And love means nothing. And some strange borders. What's that? What? Culture Club song that ended their career. Really? I think. Was that like their last song that got on the radio?

Yeah. Why? I don't know. It wasn't that good a song. It's so annoying anytime I hear. It sounds like you guys are making it up. Karma Chameleon. Do you really want to hurt me?

Yes. You have mistake number three. I don't know that one. It's mistake number three. Oh, sure. He's. Do they have a pact not to make three mistakes? Yeah, I think so.

And that's mistake number three. Yeah, I know. Yeah, what are the lyrics? Now you're done. You are mistake number three. Goodbye. You've reached your mistake quota. And now Boy George is doing all the theater stuff.

Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing like Moulin Rouge. Here's the lyrics.

That's fun. Here's the lyrics to mistake number three. And we'll see if we can parse this. Yeah, it's parse. Da, da, da, da. Da, da, da, do, do, do, do, do, do. Right. Remember that one? The car commercial?

Da, da, da, da, do do. You can't stand, you can't buy stand all the people. Stand them on their own. So true. They will fall to pieces. So we watch them grow? What are you talking about? Is this mistake number three?

Yeah, into strange and pretty faces, I don't know. Clutching to my lipstick traces, watch them go. Okay, I have no idea what this is about. This is bullshit. This sucks. Well, that wasn't the one that is. Guys deserve to not be on the radio anymore. Yeah.

Oh, man. She's overcome with emotion. I just, Lauren's having, I feel really bad that they didn't get to keep like doing that. Because like they were really good and I just feel like they didn't even really get to do like. Oh, really?

I never heard you say shit about Rankin Roger. Who? From English Beat? Yeah. Charmed so much about Culture Club. What about Rankin Roger? Yeah. Although I had that one English beat song that I got into this last.

year and I really like. Which one? Mirror in the bathroom. Save it for later. Yeah. It just came up on my Spotify and I was like, this is for me. So it came up and you were like, yes, ma'am. I was like, you got me figured out, Algo.

I got to listen to this enough to get it on wrapped. That whole album, great. Special beat service. I've honestly never even ventured past the song because I just like it. I confess. Oh, yeah, I confess is a good one. confess i confess all right

yeah i'm gonna have to check that out later mirror in the bathroom is also one of those earworms for me yeah with the same amount of syllables yeah yeah do do do do do yeah you have that yeah i don't even yeah i don't hear that

the same way you're lucky because it's a curse so if i were to say Like here's an example. Lauren in the bathroom. Well, now I know. I would probably hear it as Lauren in the bathroom. Oh, I think you'd hear Lauren in the bathroom.

Oh, you know what? Lauren in the bathroom. What if I were to say mirror in the bedroom? Mirror in the bedroom, I know. I know. Yeah, I did not put it together. They're the same syllables. But it does, it does, it matters how it comes out.

like the staccato of the of the syllables exactly determines whether or not I'll go to mirror in the bathroom or a girlfriend in a coma I'm an interesting person so if I were to say mirror in a coma you're in a quandary does not compute what is the meaning of love sparks do you have things with Janie where like one of you will start to get really annoyed by something like that like if you're like I can't stop singing a song oh yeah

well no I'm stop pretty early on for sure Pretty early on in our relationship, we would watch, like, Thursday night TV at my house and cool up, along with Neil Mahoney. Are you ready for some sick of homes? But it would be like, no, it would be CSI and ER and stuff like that. And so any song that didn't, any theme song that didn't have lyrics, I would add lyrics to. Of course, you must. So when we would watch ER, it would be like, it's ER, it's ER. And at a certain point, she was like, shut the fuck up.

I don't know how the ER theme song went. Let's hear it. All I remember is Eric LaSalle doing the yes, the big yes. Oh, yeah. I love that. It's so moving. Let's hear a little bit of it. I would cry every time.

First up, we have a Hertz. Tom Brady. I always like how you just blast the ads. Tom Brady hurts ad first. This is not skippable. Don't you feel like you should have the ad free YouTube at this point? This is the only situation. Never get it.

It makes me laugh every time. This rocks. They're throwing their hands up like it's a rain. This is like the worst massage music. It feels like you're going to have two dancers come down from the so ropes. I'm not going to walk on your back. We have to take a break. We'll take you out with ER by the ER game.

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there's a defender for every kind of adventure, from city streets to remote trails. This is a vehicle that, like you, is capable of great things. Explore the full defender lineup at Land Rover USA.com. And we're back, and it's three-cher time. That's right, Scott. It is, we do three-chers on this show, and you can't say that we don't.

Threacher is a game that we play, and maybe you would like to send us one to play a parlor game, a car game, if you will. Not a card game. That would be so boring, yes. And the wages of sin is death. And so we play the game. And so what you do is you send it to us at 3MUSA.gmail.com. That's email. It's so easy to just email someone these days.

Like it used to be, remember the process of how you used to have to email people. You had to get it approved. Yeah. You have to send it up to corporate. Are you doing a dialogue? Yeah. Yeah. That's good.

Or have you become a computer? Okay, computer. I'm going to start saying that. Like, okay, boomer. Or like radio. To my own computer. Who's that? This one, this three-cher, this particular three-ter, was submitted by Josh.

Thank you, Josh. Thanks, Josh. And it's called taboo word. Okay. They're not going to get us They're not going to get us So taboo Remember they were

Supposedly lesbians Who dated each other You mean tattoo? Oh yes tattoo Wait I immediately accepted when you said taboo Well but you start singing it Because

I think she said Running through my head Why did you start singing it if I Because I said taboo word Because I conflated taboo with tattoo Yes So don't pin this on me I'm just glad I was

here clear it up. Thank God. I have too. I am too. Because honestly, if you guys, you guys talked in circles. Because 0.001 of our listeners, percent of our listeners would be like, it's tattoo.

I think there's going to be a lot more. Do you think tattoo listens to the show? I hope they do. All the things you said, all the things you said, running through my head, running through my head. Do you think I Kona Pop listens to the show?

I think so. I don't care. I love it. I think they do, though. This is taboo word. This is submitted by Josh. Two players secretly decide on a taboo word by texting

each other. Then all three players began a scene prompted by the suggestion of a common household item. What? That part of it. Pan. Broome. That's an optional part. You're in the spirit. Okay.

But the two players that know the taboo word have to organically try to get the third player to say it. We're not allowed to say it ourselves. The third player has to try to avoid saying it. And if they say it, the game is over. And we're going to put a clock on this, Lauren.

Okay. We're going to put a clock of how long should we do it? Should we do it? Five minutes. Okay, we're going to do a clock of five minutes. Don't hit lap. Don't hit lap. Oh, you think a guy like me would hit lap?

Uh, uh, uh, uh, not gonna do it. Hey, what ship, what ship lap? Ship lap is like little pieces of wood. putting wood on your on your wall uh instead of uh in a certain pattern instead of wallpaper are you fucking serious yeah ship lap is and this just off the top of your head yeah just like i'm just pushing this into my phone it's like um doing if you want to do like a wall like a beach house yeah yeah i knew it had something to do with something nautical so we have it in that room over there what room i know you can't

Can't see it. Just like a good fellow's where you get me to go down there. Yep. And I murder you. What a weird way to murder something. That is one of the scariest scenes. He's like, yeah, go, go, go. No, down a little further down there.

Yeah, go ahead. Just keep going. Yeah, just keep going. Okay. So who wants to be the two and who wants to be the one? I'll be the guiney pig. Okay. Okay.

And so Lauren and I. So we text each other a taboo. Well, you can text me or I can text you. I text you a taboo word. Yeah, just a word that we're trying to get him to say. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, but we can't say it ourselves. Okay.

Yeah, this is going to be great. All right. And I'm going to start the clock now. Paul. Yeah. Do you need a common household item? Yeah. Do you have one?

Yeah. What do you have? Dust pan. You have a dustpan? Yeah. Well, actually, look, it's kind of cool. We're in the break room of the hardware store right now. I never really got seen back.

here. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, because you, normally, you're a customer. Normally, I'm just a customer. But we recruited you today. Yeah, I just usually come in and buy stuff. But today I kind of was like, hey, I come in here a lot. We needed help. Thank you for joining us. Do you need any snacks or anything like that? Or what do you guys have? Oh, it's kind of Ruffles. That'd be Mark Ruffalo's. It's a little early for chips. Shaped Ruffles. I mean, it's only 8.30. I don't know. if I really want to eat ruffles. We have coffee.

We have whatever you need. I'm hungry, though. Okay. How about some food? What do you have? Ruffles. I'm telling you it's early. For chips?

It's a little early for chips. I'm more of a breakfast. How about a Danish? Uh, that's a little... It's too fancy. Yeah. Got anything else? I mean, we're not a supermarket.

It's hardware. What do you have in the box? We have nails? What's in the box with the Danish? Do you want to eat 100 nails? What's in the box with a Danish ship? What are you, Brad Pitt? What's the box?

There's also some bear claws. Yeah, honey, why don't you bring something the next time you work here? Don't call me, honey. It's so kind of sending. Sweetheart. Forget it. I'm sorry, what's your name? Bunny.

Bunny, what's your favorite food? Yeah, Bunny, what do you like? Crescans. In the morning? Yeah. Mm-hmm. What about hot butter toast? Sure.

Do you want some, how about some fried chicken? I want something that I can stick my finger through. How about my ass? Oh, wait, did you guys play back here? I want you to eat his ass? Was it donut? Yes. All right, let's do the other.

Okay, so now you guys just text each other. You're the guine. You're the guest. Okay. Paul, you can pick. I pick the word? Yeah, you can pick the word and send it. to learn.

All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head. Oh, that was two minutes, I think. You fucking. Okay. Two was enough. Well, I knew what it was. I was not going to say it. Yeah.

Let's do three. Hey, thank you for loving it. Oh, great. Oh, you pressed a little hard on it. Yeah. That's fun. Okay. I appreciate that.

You didn't have to do that. Not only did I see it. I received it. And I loved it. As a household item, let's say, scissors. Great. I don't get what that is. I neither do I.

It's optional. It's just a thing. I guess it's so you're not in danger of overlapping with the word. If you know that's what you're starting with is a household item. Oh, it's a suggestion. Suggestion to start the scene. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. Okay. And once you're done sewing those up. Then I start in the next human centipede. That would be ideal. Can you cut me out of this one, please? Do you have any scissors? I'm just not enjoying it anymore.

We allowed you to be able to talk. That's got to be a plus. I know. I know it's just to my ass. I'm on the, I'm on the good end, but I... And we sewed that guy's... Solds of his feet to your hands. Yeah.

That's, honestly, I am enjoying that. If you can keep that, that's okay. That's actually confusing. Yeah. Why is it confusing? Just the position he's been in. Yeah. Seems like it would hurt.

Because he's standing and the guy in the front is like a wheelbarrowing. Yeah. Anyway, could you or no? or could you or not? Could you, would you with a spoon? Could you, would you, with a, with a... Okay, you're not helping. Trying to do a green eggs and ham.

Oh, yeah. What are you some sort of Dr. Seuss or something? Yes. Is that your occupation? People do kind of think that I'm like, the next Dr. Seuss. Really? Yeah. Do you have a doctorate?

No, I'm just a really good rhymer. Like what? I couldn't even think of one right then, but, you know. Like, what if you were to say radio? What rhymes with radio? Um Plato Okay

Look We I'll be honest with you What Yeah what's up Oh no When he gets honest It's not good

Well I just I'm a straight shooter We're not gonna cut you loose From the human centipede But I understand it's your birthday Ooh We got you a cake

We will be celebrating your birthday Today with all of the centipes It comes a little monkey Carrie. Carrie. What does he have? Oh my gosh. He has cupcakes too.

That's right. Cake and cupcakes? A candle in every single cupcake. Wow. And then one candle in the cake. Yep. Guys, I really, for my birthday, the cake's great. But I really, I wish you'd gotten me like some sort of ride that would take me up into the sky, like a blimp or something like that.

An airplane? Yeah, an airplane. Could you get me an airplane? What do you think about the decorations? You don't even like the decorations? They're fine. The streamers are fine. The whole, you know, happy birthdays thing.

What else? What else do you love, sweetie? The wrapping paper. You wraps the cake, which is like over-cilled. Come on, big guy. What else do you like? Come on, big guy, tough guy. I like how you turn the house upside down.

And what else? What else do-dilicious? What else is it? What is our relationship, by the way? Because you wipe my memory. Oh, we're mad scientist. And you're our human centipede. Yeah.

Oh, this is a poor thing meets human centipede kind of thing. I don't even think it's that. Do you think the scientist of human centipy was a normal person? I don't think it's that highbrow. I think it's that highbrow? It was balloon, right? Yeah, that was balloon. Okay, my turn.

One more time. No, I text to you. No, I haven't gotten to guess yet. Yeah, I know. Oh, sorry, I text a fault. That's right. Going clockwise. Sorry, sorry.

Okay, so I text to Paul the taboo word. And I receive it. Okay. And what's the household item, Lauren? It is a pair of tongs. A pair of tongs. Everyone has tongues these days. All right, I'm pressing start.

Well, now, look at you. We're nothing but a pair of tongs. Yeah, I have a pair on. I have two thongs It's disgusting It's better than one It covers more Ah, you're right

Hi mom Now look who it is Who is it mom Tiz herself It's Bonnie Yeah I'm here Hi Bonnie Hi guys

Bonnie Bonnie Oh, my what? Tell us. Just everything is going crazy. Like, give us an example. I lost all my papers. What kind of papers?

Everything, good, bad, important, useless, money. Like receipts and stuff? Receipts. Anything paper is gone. School papers? Lost them. I, um... Like to-do lists? I bought four phones instead of one, and now they all won't stop ringing.

Oh, no. You accidentally bought four phones? And I set them all out. So they all have the same number? Yeah, and they're all ringing off the hook. Because I signed myself up for all these calling lists. Where'd you buy them? I bought them from this kiosk at the mall.

What were you doing at the mall? I was shopping. For what? New tongues. New tongues? New tongues? New tongs? You can buy those anywhere.

You don't have to go to the mall. You do have to go to the mall. No, you don't. You don't know. They saw them anywhere. Is that all you bought? Did you buy any food? Did I buy any food?

Yeah, I bought a steak. Where'd you get that? At the butcher. The butcher. The butcher? Sorry, it's like I've lived here like just long enough that your accents are starting to get to me. But like, no, yeah, the butcher. Yeah.

You went to too many places. Okay. You can go to one place. It's got one place. What, like, like, supermarket? Yes. All right, we got you. We fucking.

got you. You know what? I got you because I was willing to say. I suspected as much. Damn it. Gotcha. And that's how you play. Taboo. And that's how you play. They're not going to get us. They're not going to get us. All the things she said, all the things she said. Thank you to. The taboo word. Don't say the taboo word. Thank you to Josh. Thank you to Josh. Yeah. Yes. That's a classic. And if you would like

send you a three to write to us at Threatomusa at gmail.com. And if you would like to send you, you'd like to leave us a voicemail. Call us at, well, don't call us, but you go to the website, hagclaims8.com, and there you'll be able to leave us a voice message. I can't believe this is, we're living in a world where this is possible. It's really cool, how the website works. You go to a website and you talk to it and then it record your words. Exactly.

And then we hear it. Exactly. It's nuts. And guess what? If you want to hear ad-free versions of this podcast and also here are bonus episodelets called threemiums, then you go to CBBB. B-Bworld.com and you sign up for the Maximus tier. The three memes are also available on some sort of Apple subscription or something.

No one's explained it really all that well to me. No, it's Apple, what is it called? Maybe it's the Lemonada, like if you subscribe to. I don't know. But I'll tell you one thing. I do know. I know this as a cold hard fact. We re-release all of our previous episodes, the ones that are behind the paywall,

the ones that you can listen to at CBB World. We release them weekly. It's called Three Visiting on the Two's. And that is every Tuesday. You'll hear an older episode. So don't be confused if they're like, like on one episode I'm saying, I don't have a baby.

And then another one I'm talking about my baby because you probably just heard them out of order. Yeah. And until Scott had the baby, we would get him to stay. Yeah. Once per episode, I don't have a baby. We would do a baby check.

time stamp it. Yeah, we do a baby check. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but we love you guys so much and like everything you guys do with, just with like, just with like listening to the show. Lauren could not be rolling her eyes harder right now. Everything you guys bring just like when you press play on your phone and stuff like it just does so much. So just keep doing that. But you know what? Just keep pressing play on your phone or whatever. I, I agree with Lauren. We do love you. We thank you for listening to our silly show. And we hope you will continue to listen to it because we're going to keep doing it. And why wouldn't you continue listening to it. And why wouldn't we?

And why wouldn't we do it? And why wouldn't who? And if not them, then why? It's not like it's a waste of time for on our account or on, you know, for you. Not at all. This is time we'll spend for everyone involved. I would agree. Yeah.

And by the way, hopefully you're getting a massage during listening. God, I hope so. Because that's. God, I hope so. That's very important. I don't know if we've said that in our 201 episodes, but this, this podcast is made for you to get a massage during. You have to multitask this podcast.

Yeah. It's about getting massages, and if you don't do that, you're doing it wrong. Yeah. Okay. Okay, sweetie. Okay, sweetie pie. All right, well, look, we love you. Write to us at 3MUSA at gmail.com.

And Lauren's taking her headphones off. It feels like you're really doing a long, long dismount. All right, bye. Come back. Have you ever watched someone you love struggle with something really hard and had no idea how to help them? I'm Stephanie Whittleswax, and I certainly have. My show, last day. started with a question I've been asking myself, ever since I lost my brother Harris to a heroin

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