Threedom - Threevisiting: You'd Be Like A Rugrats

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

Threevisiting on the Tues: Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about nudity in tv and movies, being a baby, and play a new Threeture "Off Script.”  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Freedom faster than I. Freedom! Set it faster than anyone. I said it faster through him. What? I said it faster through them. You didn't even hear me. I was so fast.

Like, a flage? Yeah. Flaish. Hey, Fleeche. Featuring the Flesh. The Flesh. Superman, Batman, Aquaman, and the Flesh. You know, Flesher did the original Superman cartoon, so you're not that far off.

Was it Fleshur? Fleshman. Fleshman is in trouble. Like from Northern Exposure? Remember that? Flechman. I don't. Joel Fleischman, played by Rob Morrow.

I think it's Fleischer. It's Fleischer. Are you thinking of Charles Fleischer, the voice of Roger Rabbit? Yes. Please. Moles. Who are the body models for this picture of you and Reggie? Oh.

All right. Well, first of all, Sean Disson said, Hey, I have a poster of Comedy Bang Bang in my house. Do you want it? And then he brought that over. I'm like, what is he doing with this? How did he get that? I don't know.

It's like a promotional. IFC poster. It was our third season where Reggie and Scott are dressed like in like workout men. You think you'd have some say on like what your poster is going to be? No. They told me what it's going to be.

This is the ad campaign. I actually really like that you had no say in that. I think that's really funny. I mean, given what it is that it has no connection to your show whatsoever. Scott's head is on the body of a small spelt man with a unitard from like a wrestling to go singlet.

And like a 10% better body. And, oh, yeah, it's just 10%. And then the leg warmers, like hot pink leg warmers. It's just funny that's what you're wearing. And you were like, uh, sure, I guess it's okay. I'm like, we don't care if you think it's okay or not. No, I honestly, it's already printed, sweetie. I showed up.

They took a picture of my head and then they had the models there. And I was like, what's the- So you met the models? Yeah, I met the model. And they were like, what's the concept? I said, what's the concept? And they're like, it's you and Reggie working out and the tagline is feel the comedy burn.

And I was like, what? Just that simple, idiot. What does this have to do? What does Byrne have? Feel the comedy burn. Get it? Yeah. Anyway, so now I have this poster of a couple of male models with me and Reggie's head

Photoshop. It's good. You should have that more than Sean should. Why did Sean have it? It's in a frame. I know. Yeah. I don't know what's going on with Sean.

He's in love with you, obviously. I guess so. Or Reggie. True. Or both. Or these models and not our heads. That's true. Oh, he covers your head.

It could be anything. It could be anything. And he finds the original model's heads and he puts them on. you paste them on. And then he realized he'd gone too far and he's like would you please take

this poster off my hands? He's like please put me out of my misery I have to go to therapy. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so I have a ton of like

my old posters around because we closed our office because of the pandemic. And all this and then the podcast's Earwolf closed and so I have a ton of these things around that I used to store. Well,

Jackie Johnson just posted a picture from Sirius XM of all the art, you know, the decorated shoes. The shoes from our friend. Oh yeah. All in a box on the floor.

She was digging for mine and she said I guess it's at the bottom because I didn't get to it I should have grabbed mine I know I want to grab mine I thought about it so many times I mean I want mine so if anyone out there is that serious

and wants to grab it for us or if you have any shoe just send it to us send us a shoe to serious XAM look into your house if you see any shoe box it up and send it to series

yeah not one of your shoes send someone else's look around your house and find someone else's that doesn't live in your house, one shoe. One shoe. Please no baby shoes never worn. It's the saddest shortest, shortest story.

Oh, the shortest story ever told. Shortest story. Jesus weps, that's the shortest story. Okay, well. Why the fuck was he crying so much? He's an emotional guy. He had a bad life. I mean, first of all, he's bored in a terrible time.

He knows that he's... No internet, no toilet. No TikTok? No TikTok. You couldn't even do a Jesus dance. He would have been huge. Huge. It would have been huge.

Why? He really would have. He would have seen millions of followers. He would have. Instead of just 12. Yeah. Yeah. He had that hanging over his head the whole time.

Like, and you're going to die to redeem all of humanity. Did you know that before or was that a night before thing? No, I think he knew it. I think you know. And then it just kind of like it caught up to him. He's like, oh shit, that's tomorrow. You think he knew and it kind of informed everything. Yeah.

I think so. Yeah. I think he started to like let it slip towards the end. He's like, hey, idiots. I'm not. going to be here for very long get you get together yeah when i say very like but by the way his he started be like and you're going to betray me and you're going to pretend you don't know who i am he knew all of it yeah he knew all of it by the way his life expectancy he died at 33 read them to fill

his life expectancy was probably 34 it's like it's not like it was some great tragedy yeah he was elderly you know what i mean it's like come on his life expectancy was some great tragedy was he sick He was sick. That's the other thing is he was going to die in three days anyway. Yeah, he had a cold. And they were incurable back at that time. Cold was fatal then.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, come on. Cold was fatal then. Bible times sucked. Straight up sucked. Look, you don't have bras. You don't have.

Do you think the Romans didn't have bras? They probably had some sort of cloth that was draped. I bet they didn't. They're freaks, man. They were freaks. Colligula? They're just draping a cloth over themselves. Caligula didn't have bras.

Caligula? Calcula. That guy was bananas. That guy was a freak. We watched Caligula at my friend's house once and then

Bill W. He lived with his yeah, Bill W. He lived with his grandmother and his grandmother came home in the middle of it. And she came and she had a conversation

with us and she was like, blah, blah, blah. She had a really deep, gravelly voice and she was like this and she was like, blah, blah, anyway, so I wanted to ask the thing and she would look at the,

she would look at the screen, this is in the middle of the orgy scene. She would look at the screen and when she would look at the screen, and there would be nothing going on. And then she would turn away and talk to us. And then suddenly there'd be like some, some, you know, hardcore sex happening. What were they cutting away to during the orgy?

They were like people's faces or Malcolm McDowell's face going, aha, or what, you know. So it kept happening five times. We were crying, laughing at it. And then she finally looked back and there was like some oral sex going on. And she goes, oh, my God. She's eating his thing. Okay

I'm sorry We have told the same stories 100 times And you're sitting on Oh my God She's eating his thing Yeah I kept that in the reserve That's crazy If anyone ever mentions ancient Rome

I'm gonna tell that story I'll bring up the part where she ate his thing Oh my gosh It was so funny How old were you guys at the time? I was 19 he was 20 Oh wow That's really fun

And I mean you know I was kind of like Would he watch this in your house while you're grap? And he had the kind of relationship where it was like, you know. Whatever I said, go. There's just one more thing. Oh, my God. She's eating his thing.

Oh, my God. She's eating his thing. I don't think that's what she's doing. I've never seen that movie. I never have either. I only saw it then, but I counted as having watched it. But like in the middle of the afternoon. I think you've seen it.

It's a weird movie to watch the middle of the afternoon. When did it come out? While his grandmother's doing errands? What year did that come out? In the 70s, right? Wasn't it a, was it a, who's the penthouse? Bob.

Or like maybe very early 80s, but yeah, Bob Guccione produced it. Well, wasn't it a thing where they shot it and it wasn't all that great? And so they put like hardcore porn in it in order to like.

That's a fix. It's definitely one. You almost did that in between two ferns. I did. You did one at it where you spiced in a bunch of porn. From Caligula. Yeah. See where Zach is just watching Caligula?

It goes full screen. Honestly. That would be so funny. Might have improved the movie. That would have been great. Yeah. Did you ever watch movies you weren't supposed to watch? And then you had to turn it off when your parents got home and anything like that.

But I'm trying to think if there was anything that was actually that crazy. I think I was too scared probably. I think I usually would do it at. We also didn't have a cable. Oh. Well, you know what's weird here in L.A. On like K-Cal 9 or whatever, they would show certain in syndication, they would show certain shows that had boobs in him.

Benny Hill and... I remember Benny Hill. Paul Hogan show, I think. Crocodile Dundee. He had a show. He had a sketch show or something like that before, which is how I got. Oh, he was very popular. Yeah, yeah.

And so my parents would go away and we would turn on these shows. And it's in black and white. And it's like, well, we're that desperate to see boobs. But then, like, suddenly my parents would come home because they forgot something or something like that. And we'd turn the TV off really quick. and then it got to be where my dad would like feel the TV to see if it was hot.

And I probably have told this story, but I remember watching kids in my friend's basement. Oh, yeah. And her older brother. The movie kids. Yeah. And it was so fucked up. And I just remembered, no one caught us, nothing happened.

I just, I was haunted, you know. I had a great argument with a friend of mine about that movie because he was talking to me about it and I hadn't seen it. And I was like, I don't want, I don't want to know about this. Yeah. Sounds horrible. Well, and I was like the age of them at the time.

Like I was, like, in eighth grade or seven grade. Yeah, I think it's way weirder to watch it. What's the right age to watch kids? I would say being the same age as them would be the best way to go. What about one year? In my mind. One year younger. So you can aspire to.

I was younger. I was a little bit younger. But it was like 17. But I sort of think there's something gross about watching it as an adult. Well, yeah. And which is kind of where I was coming from. I was like, I don't want to see that. And he's like, it's like, it's actually.

you know it's like really rough but there's some good performances and i'm like i don't care i don't want to see it and then we got we got like genuinely we were genuinely arguing and then it all came into a head where he said all i'm saying is it wouldn't kill you if you saw it and then we both started laughing that's funny i i i must have watched it when it came out when it come in the 90s right yeah so i was 25 that's that's an okay age to watch i don't remember anything about it i think it's a fine age to Yes. At what age should one watch kids? Well, you're getting older and it's about that time you should be watching a movie Kid by Larry Carl. You have a quarter of a century.

I've had the talk with my son. My boy, sit down. He now knows what finger begging is. Fire up the VCR. It's only released on VHS. Yeah. To this day. And then we also watched wild things in my friend's house.

That was pretty crazy. Oh, sure. Very horny movie. It was a very horny film. Horny. I recall that. I remember I recall that. Did it make you horny?

Because you do see titaz and you see a penis in that movie. You do see a penis although you see one in Gone Girl as well. Gone Girl? You barely see it in Gone Girl. Gone Girl, the newer movie? If you pause on it, you see it a lot. Who's penis? Benifleck.

I don't remember that penis. Might have to rewatch. Might have to rewatch to see Pinos. He's in the shower. Yeah, no, I actually do kind of remember it. Wait, Hitz was in the shower too. And you paused it. Yeah, right?

Where else would it be? I thought he was in a pool or something. Oh, no, that's... That kind of warps it a little bit. That's color of night with... Yeah, Bruce Willis. You see his penis in it. Pinos.

Or later, these guys got to show their dicks. Peanus. Pinaus. They say it right. Yeah. Pinaw. Show it the respected. Well, I do.

And the only reason I know that is because I believe Neil Campbell wrote a joke about it in the company Bing Ping-T-Bing TV show. Yeah. Sounds about right. I remember, I saw Kevin Spacey. Oh, my God. Kevin, you talk. Seven Spacey's penis?

Oh, really, congratulations, Paul. Yes, I'm going to court. Was this 45 years ago? Kevin Bacon. Yeah, Kevin Bacon's penis. Excuse me. My apologies to hometown boy, Kevin Bacon. That's in wild things.

And wild things, but he was on Instagram and he was putting on, he did like this quick montage. I love his Instagram. I love his Instagram. I think he's so charming. It's very wholesome. Yeah. But he did like a montage of all the, the t-shirts he got from productions.

Oh, that's funny. He was like going through a box and he's like, let's see what we got. It's one teacher. I love that he saved them all. Sometimes you just want to keep that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I bet like some of them he threw away after talking about them. But he would like, he would like, this movie was like some movie about a dog or something.

He's like, this is a great movie to watch with your family. It's really fun or whatever. I wish I had this kind of free time. And then to make videos like that would be nice, wouldn't it? You could find it. You're like, it's my Instagram hour. If you do, if you film yourself wearing one t-shirt a day and then you splice it all together. And I make one video per year.

yeah so wait time to do that so he said this one's a good one to watch so then he put on wild things and he said we laughed all the way through making this movie that's so funny yeah i thought that was great i love that they had fun and he sings with his daughter and he sings with his wife it's all very his daughter who's in the uh commercial with him yes about the electric car yes and i knew that because i follow him on instagram i was his daughter and then he was a very nice man when we did the tv show together and i think i've told this he did CBB he did CBB he was a big get so we made the season premiere and he was very he's he's very he's kind of a very intense talker well he's one of the hottest people on earth possibly oh my word oh my word he's very reserved

and you know i have to spend six hours on a couch with these people and have small talk and i was talking about his band and music and stuff like this yeah it must be hard it is it actually was one of the more difficult part that actually is challenging but cool people you're talking oh yeah a lot of interesting people and and but he was just very very quiet and very soft-spoken and then we he's like do you want to rehearse and so there's this bit uh kevin town it's in the show and it's very funny and we rehearsed it and we did one reading of it and he goes funny stuff he was like the most effusive that that he was all day and i was like we got it but then he turns it on for the camera he keeps his energy low but he does have that he does have that

Like a lot of intense actors have that thing where they barely raise their voices above a whisper almost. And it's because they're film actors. Yes. It's interesting. That is interesting. I don't think so, actually. And I love Kiras Edrick. I don't think it's interesting.

I don't think it's interesting. Oh, okay. Sorry. It's not your fault. Kira Sedgwick, great film. Make sure I'm getting it right, heart and soul. Do you remember that movie? With Robert Downey Jr.

Yes. Where he's a ghost. Yes. No, their ghosts. Their ghosts. And they're trying to make someone. He's all they love. Yeah, he's a little kid, and there's this bus accident where...

Robert County Jr.'s a little kid? Initially. He's a kid initially? And then... Oh, my God, we have so much in common. All the ghosts. And he can see that. And then he...

From kid to ghost. They find him later in their life because they're trying to kind of tie up loose ends. And he's... Wait, so they can move on, like their own loose ends? Yeah. Okay. And so he helps them go around to all the different people. It's a really sweet movie.

And it goes around to all the different people that they need to like, connect with. Do they play the song in it? He resolves it. They play Walk Like a Man, if that's what you're talking about. No, heart and soul. Oh, no, they actually don't. Who are the go-hosts?

Oh, I'd have to look. Is that chopsticks that I'm singing, or is that heart and soul? That was Heart and Soul. They go together like Heart and Soul. The movie must have been so upset when Big stole that song from them. Yeah, but they didn't need it because they actually came out later. Heart and Soul, so Heart and Souls, pardon me. It's got Charles.

It's got Charles Groton. What, now you know? No, I'm just saying you can't just pluralize a movie. How does it have such a low rating? It's a good movie. It's Charles Grosan. Charles Grosdardt, Alphrey Woodard, Kira Sedgwick, Tom Seismore. They die in, rest in power, King.

They die in 1959 when the bus they ride crashes. The Four Continuous Ghosts. Cool, I worked with him on a funnier die video. It sounded like a great guy. Wow. It's a great movie. He was born the moment they died. And so they're like, that's why they're like immediately attached to him.

Wow. That's very cool. It's really cute. I got to see that. You know what? You should put it on Scott hasn't seen. If you haven't seen it. Would you do that episode?

How many am I booked for? When's the last time you've seen it? Oh my God. When's the last time you've seen that movie? I saw it during the pandemic again. Because I love it and Mike loves it too. It's a movie we both loved as kids. And so we put it on and we loved it again.

I rewatched the Star Trek movies recently. Yeah. that I hadn't seen since they were in theaters. And the, which, by the way, I've not seen the final one. First, uh, here's the thing.

They were all better than I remember. Really? I'd want to see that. But I was waiting to do it in air order. So I was, I was trying to get plow through deep space. You had to abandon that project. Can I say one last thing?

About heart and souls before I moved on. Please say one last thing. I remember I saw it in theater with my friend. One last thing. About heart and soul. She's eating his thing Oh my god My friend and I went to see that movie

And we were like eight or something And then we came home and the movie The song Walk Like a Man was like a huge song in the movie And we spent the whole night calling the oldie station Trying to get them to play it That's adorable It's one way to hear it And they wouldn't play it

Couldn't get through Couldn't get through to the oldie station It's a pop-in station Did you just listen long enough And they played it for sure? Probably Yeah So Star Trek First Contact

is the one Alfry Woodard is in And she's fucking great in it She's an amazing ass She's so good I stopped in my I stopped it I think generations In my rewatch of everything

So I still have Two or three to go Two No you got a bunch to go No Generations was the seventh movie I think Yeah

Yeah And then there's First Contact Insurrection And I think I think you have three more Okay It's not a three more

interesting um all right well maybe i'll watch these who knows i think you should all leading up to picard picard picante what's that what's picante yeah well it's a type of sauce type of hot sauce okay i knew that much well then why did you ask darling because i wanted to know if you had any grape of pawn yes let me roll down my window and there you had you had Pekante, but that's not going to help me with my dip in the news. The guy in that commercial was the guy who starred in the original House of Cards for the Babesee. Wait, the Great Poupon commercial? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He then went on to star House of Card or House of Cards is so old. My grandmother farts down. All right, we have to take a break. I think the commercial was first. Goodbye. All right. Do you miss that feeling when you finally get the gang together for a night of game.

and it just hits. Well, that's Arc Raiders. In Arc Raiders, robotic killing machines have forced humanity underground as they roam the surface attacking anything that moves. You're a Raider, one of the survivors brave enough to venture topside to loot, battle the machines, and complete quests for humankind. Up top, every raid is unique. Will you rally as one against the robots,

or shoot your rivals and take their stuff? The choice is yours, but always, Wars, but always trust your gut. Is your gang tied up? Head to the surface alone and write your own story. Complete quests, upgrade your den, and become the Raider you want to be, kind-hearted or kind of an ass.

It's time to find out. Arc Raiders is on sale now available for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC. Hey, don't let an overpriced phone bill ruin your holiday mood. Who are you? I'm sorry, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Mintmobile. Oh, okay. No, Christmas Mint Mobile died?

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That's what Scrooge did. Yep. Now, let me ask you a question. Are all Mint Mobile plans coming with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network? Paul, you know that that is correct. Oh. Now, I wish that passed me. Christmas past you?

Christmas past me knew about Mint Mobile earlier because I could have saved so much money over the years. But thankfully, Christmas present me knows about Mint Mobile, and I'm saving money now. right so uh you know switching for my old providers helped me saved hundreds and when i say hundreds i don't mean hundreds of you know breadcrumbs i'm talking about dollars oh that's better yeah yeah and you know what those savings mean more christmas presents under the tree yeah so don't miss it mint mobile's best deal of the year it's happening right now turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings future by switching to mint shop mint unlimited plans at mint mobile.com slash

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The fashion police are here. Can you hear those sirens? Yeah, I can. Boy, they're here to lock me up for what I'm wearing. I can get you out of this situation. On bail? Even better. I won't have to go to fashion jail in the first place.

Full exoneration. Oh, a pardon? If you listen to me. Fashion pardon? You'll get a fashion pardon. Okay, I'm listening. It starts like this. Cold mornings, holiday plans.

This is when you need your wardrobe to just work. That's why I'm all about, for you, quince. They make it easy to look. sharp, feel good, and find gifts that last. I have gotten some quince. I'm not wearing it right now, which is why I think the fashion police are here. Yeah, you should be wearing it. I will say quince makes the essentials that every guy

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It's everything you actually want to wear built to hold up season after season, after season, after season. I got some stuff from Quince, Paul. You're going to be very proud of me. I got the Mongolian Kashmir Neck sweater. Nice. I'm a big fan of that. It's great for when you want to feel cozy, but still look, you know, at your best.

I wear it all the time. And honestly, I would wear it even more if my wife weren't borrowing it all the time. Girl, I hear you. My wife keeps stealing my quince items. I have a wonderful soft cashmere hoodie that I got from them. And she has claimed it as her own, which is honestly very aggravating. My wife has also been going into our bank accounts and stealing money from my own. bank account that I have kept secret.

And I'm really concerned about that. My wife has literally taken food out of my mouth. Oh, no. Like, I put a forkful of food on my mouth and she's taking it out of it. That's the right amount as far as I'm concerned. That's how I eat food by the forkful. Exactly. Anyway, get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince.

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Sure. And I was thinking the other day because Kool-Up's sister wasn't down for a couple of weeks. Duda, doda, doda. And she has a, she has a boy who is now going into junior high. A very strange and. A very strange enchanted boy. And she was.

Yeah, we know a lot about him. This was, yes, Kai. He, of course, was doing this. The entrepreneur. The sneaker head. He, I believe, is no longer interested in both sports cards or sneakers. I love that. I love when kids move on.

Yeah. Now just focused on basketball. Okay. And so much so that the baseball team really wanted him to play this year because he's really good. And he was like, nope, I'm concentrating on basketball. So. I like that. He's a very focused young man. Anyway, but this is Kulap sister's first time meeting our Nepo baby. And she was, I was saying, do you miss your son being this age? And she goes, yes, because it goes so fast. And I was like, It feels like it's taking forever. No, this is the phrase that you'll hear over and over again. The days are long, but the years are short. Right. Wow.

That'll get you. And honestly, Holly's approaching two, and that's shocking. Yeah. It is really weird. It goes fast, but it also feels like every day is the longest day of your life. Yeah, because it's like it's just hours of doing like nothing. Yeah. But, and here, so then it led me to my theory, which is I think, because we all miss when

people are babies, everyone should, when they wake up, be a baby and then they grow to be an old man in a single day. And then they go to sleep and they wake up and they're a baby. Why should everyone do that? Oh, I thought it was a good idea. Well, then I'll open the question up to both of you. Well, you know what's great about it. It's a lot like that riddle of like who crawls in the morning. But Scott, you know what's wrong. with this and I'm just realizing that. If everyone's a baby who can take care of each other. Well, no, it's like the beach and old

where everyone's a baby for like, you know, like half hour. So we're all like screaming our heads off and like being ignored and like needing something. But then you're beginning and ending your day in a diaper. That sucks. I think we should all be wake up 25, go to bed

59. Add 10 to that? I'm in. Okay. he said it he wants to eat that thing you don't want to be younger than 25 well I think you want to be able to rent a car the first thing I want I kind of want some I want my brain to be done developing that'd be nice well here you think your brain's done developing mine still got away to go do you go back to your 25 year old brain well I don't know if you're going back to your baby brain I would assume right I think you should I think we should all have the opportunity to have our our the brains that

we have now in a baby body just to see what it feels like. Why is horrible? Because you can't you're you don't you can't do anything. No, you can because you have your brain is developed. So you'd be like a rug rats? You'd be like a rug rats? Yeah. Getting up doing all sorts of things telling you. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think I think I will miss because she's so cute right now. Yeah. But it just like takes forever all day for it does. You know, because she's not doing anything. I know. And you got. I'd have constantly, constantly give attention. When she starts crawling, I mean, you're going to have all these phases that are going to

reignite, you know, the excitement. But what I'm saying is, is like, I will miss that cuteness all the time. You'll miss when she was a little dumpling that she is right now. Yeah, because I have a friend who was like, oh, my God, I miss that age because now it's just like, she's just constantly asking me for stuff. Can I have this? Can I have this? Can I have this?

Can I have this. Honestly, that's kind of where we're going right now. Really? We're getting into a lot of like more, more, more, more. You know, how do you like it? How do you like it? More puffs, more whatever. Afro puffs?

Yeah. That may be hungry for puffs. Oh, she, we had these, I bought these random sour cream and onion puffs. I don't even know what they were, some sort of simply veggie. That's so random. I didn't think she was going to like it. And she wanted to eat half the, I mean, she just was like more, more, more, more, more. More, more, more puffs.

But I do like that she can communicate a little bit. So it's, that's fun. Yeah, she texts me all the time. She does, yeah. Yeah. She always grabbing my phone, trying to talk to everyone. Oh, wait. I thought those were from you

when I said blably blah blabing yes sounds exactly like you yeah it's true do you like do you FaceTime with relatives and stuff

we don't really like we're not a big face timing family but we have done that from time to time but people do say that that is it doesn't count a screen time

apparently because they're engaging with a person I would agree with that yeah we just don't do it very often in my family but I should do it more because I want her to know everyone's name. She knows, like, my dad's, you know, grandpa nickname.

She needs to go to cheers. And, um, yeah, but so it's really cute because she, she says, she says that with pictures. She needs to go to the reverse cheers. But I needed to learn everyone. Actually, I had an idea that I was going to get, I was going to print out or put up on the fridge, pictures, current pictures of everyone. Like mugshot style. Yeah.

So that you can say their names. Yeah. Yes. Well, because. Because Tall John's daughter was saying Holly's name from her Christmas card. And I was like, we don't practice people's names that way. So I should do that. Flash cards.

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Do you think the, real quick, just the subject of the Cheers theme song, which is you. Right. Yeah. Do you think everyone knows your name, but do you know everyone else's name? Or do you walk in there feeling bad because it's like, oh shit, I don't know their name?

I never got this person's name. Oh my God. Isn't that the worst feeling? Yeah. What do you do when you're in that situation? Just play it off for as long as possible to you leave. Yeah. Yeah. I have done that.

Oh, hey, you? It depends on it. The thing that fucking sucks is I think because of the business that we're in, sometimes you will see somebody that you spend a significant amount of time with. Yeah. And you knew their name and you had a good relationship with them. But so much time has happened. Yeah.

So much time has passed. And it's like, I know exactly who you are, but I can't remember your name. Yeah. And it feels terrible. Yeah. Yeah. You know.

I know. And you're so close with them for like a year because you can like work with someone for one year. Absolutely. Every single day. Yeah. And really enjoy their company and yeah. And never see them again.

Yeah. And it's such a terrible feeling. There are some places, there's sometimes where it's like, I know I met this person recently so I can say, I'm so sorry, will you please tell me your name again? Yeah. You know, I'm in the situation now where I do a show. every other month at this venue and it's just enough time to forget to forget the name every single person but know the face yeah yeah that is tricky and there's some people where

I think what happens is there's sort of an assumed we know each other's name thing so no one ever says it yes and then you never can say it or they like if if you're working at a theater or something where someone comes up to give you some information and you don't get their name because you're getting the information. And then later you're like, I wish I had asked what their name is so that I can know that. I know.

Honestly, what used to help me a lot was we had a mailing list when I first started comedy. Yeah. And I just got everyone's, and I would email them flyers for my, not email them,

mail them, flyers for my shows. Snail mail? Snail mail. And so, and we'd print them all out, you know, and so I knew every single person's name

because I was used to looking at them all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was talking to Jenny Lewis from music about that because I was on her mailing list. I was on her mailing list. And so that's how she knew my name for so many years. Wow. And she brought that up the last time I saw her, she's like, oh, remember our mailing list and how you were on it and all that kind of stuff.

So, yeah, mailing lists are a good way to go. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I think Instagram can be very helpful with that. But then sometimes someone has a name that's like a weird version of their name. And then you remember that. speaking of being reunited with people who haven't seen in a while last night you have a son i had it turns out it's been a while last night i had a long dream that we were we were shooting the second season of dag oh got there like the first season was the year 2000 right and then it's

2023 it's like we're going to do a second season it honestly could happen the way things are now with the reboots and all these things. No, I think that happens with popular shows. No, but I mean, it's, it's, I feel like people just pull out an old format and go. But here was, this was the best part was that I forgot, it had been so long since I played this character. I forgot that my character had a prosthetic left hand,

which was in the dream, because he didn't. Oh, in the dream it was like, in the dream. That's right. I forgot my character has a prosthetic left hand. I thought you were remembered in the dream and I was like, wow, that's.

And the hand, the hand is not a hand. It is, uh, the head. of a head of a ear and nose hair trimmer. That's gross. Like the guy you get up.

It's like Inspector Gadgety. Yeah, like this little tiny thing. Yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, that's right. I forgot. I love it. I had a dream. I'll tell this.

I had a dream. I did. You're committed. I did Carl Tart and Lamar Woods's Gossip Girl podcast. Gossip Kings. Uh-huh. Gossip Kings. And so I had a dream that I was.

Which I always mix up with. with, what's the other one? Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Kings. And then they had that podcast. They Gilmore Boys, yes. Was that what it was called? Yeah, it was just,

Gilmore guys. Gilmore guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did that one. But I mixed up the shows, whatever. I did that podcast and we'll get, we'll get to you in a moment. Okay, sure.

Thank you so much. I did the Gilmore guys podcast, and I had watched that show, but fell off of it. And so I had not seen this episode. I've never seen any of it. I found out live, was one of the, it was a live show too.

It was a live episode. Found out while I was on stage and had to adjust some things in my prepared marks that it was one of the most beloved episodes. Oh, no, because you didn't like it. I hated it. Oh, dear.

I absolutely hated it. Well, naturally, it's not really for you. Yeah, no offense. And I had to really, your name isn't Gilmore. You're not a young little girl. Although, neither are the hosts of the show. Well, that's the irony of it all, isn't it?

Yeah. It's ironic, don't you think? Mm-hmm. Don't you? But yeah, I really hated it, but I had to, like, sort of hold back. I didn't hold back in my, what was the Gossip Kings? Yeah. Because I just didn't understand it.

But anyway, so I... Well, of course. You're coming in and watching one episode of Gossip Girl. So what are you going to have possible? My memory of that show is doing, like, occasionally goofing on clips from it for Best Week Ever. Oh, goofing on clips. I remember your segment. You remember?

Goofing on Clips. Now it's time for goofing on clips with Paul Liff Tompkins. Sounds like a smash success. It really was. It was the only segment that ever wanted Emmy. Oh, my God. For best segment? Yeah.

They never did that category before or since. Oh, crazy. Yeah. Wow. I didn't think it would make such a clear sound. Did you just open a chip in a bottle? I literally did not think that sound would come out of my mouth. You're not supposed to open those.

I don't know I can do it again. Yeah. It was so high pitched and perfect. Yeah, it was cool. It was perfect. It was perfect. Well, we haven't recorded. We loved it.

We can play it again whenever we want. Make it a drop. I think you guys are talking over it a little bit, so might be kind of a weird drop. I do have buttons for drops here. You do have buttons for drops. Oh, my God, we need drops. I got buttons for drops. Wait, wait, wait, that would be so funny.

If like a billion episodes in we start having drops and they're like us saying like, she's eating his thing. And you can't tell like, are they saying that live or is that an old recording? Can I? Because it's just us. I want to plug my friend show, the Smith sisters live on Sirius X-M, my friends who are Three sisters have this show, and it's so good if you want, like, Pop Culture commentary. Three Sisters, like, Chekhov once wrote about?

Yes. Wow. It's great if you like pop culture or you want to know what's going on, but you don't want to, like, keep tabs. And I think they are so funny and they tell you, like, the daily stuff. It's every single day on Series 6th album. It's also on the app. And it's really fun.

And they have drops and they're really funny. And, like, their producer just puts them in. So you never, like, they don't know what's coming. Right. And that's, I love it. Speaking of Chekhov. Yes. An Oscar red carpet moment that I did see was.

you're talking to Jessica Chastain and she said at some point I'm doing like they asked her like what should people be looking out for or whatever what are you doing next and she said I think this was the play she goes I'm doing a play called the Three Sisters and it's like a play called three

and it's not the three sisters well that might not be that was not the point it's not the Batman it was that she was not the point the point was me making that she's saying like a play called as if we don't know what the fun it is yeah yeah she's dummy it down for us or she doesn't know what it is i'm doing yeah i don't know i'm doing checkoffs i'm doing a play called night member for christmas maybe you've heard of it the nightmare oh my god can i finish my dream i'm doing a play called minion get a finish get a finish get a finish get a finish

yeah finish okay so this was i had already taped it but i was dreaming about it so i was like going to the taping, and I saw the host, and it was not Carl, and he turned around, it was Harris Whittles. Oh. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so happy to see you. And then I realized, I went, oh. In the dream, you realized? In the dream, I went, oh, this is a dream.

Oh, that's sad. It sucks. Yeah, but that, but sometimes. Yeah, he made fun of me. Sometimes in a dream, you can realize it's a dream and then use that to your advantage. How? Like lucid dreaming. Yes, where I can just go on.

a roller coaster with him. You could just ask him a question or something. Why is it always? How is hell? Why is it always? Sorry, purgatory, Paul. Purgatory.

Purgatory. How is it? One other thing I wanted to bring up. Because we were talking about songs that make us cry. Songs to make us go boohoo. In a previous episode a long time ago. Oh. And I would, yeah, we were talking about that four years ago.

I remember, well, okay, I wanted to say something because we were talking about Christmas 10 years ago on Christmas. We were talking about nightmares just a second ago because night remember for Christmas. Nightmare for Christmas, never sicker. Nightmare before Easter, never feaster. Never feaster. But I turned on, I was like, oh, you know, I saw this on Broadway, but I was like, oh, I'm going to listen to the soundtrack, which I'd never listen to, which is the spring scene on Broadway soundtrack. And I just turned it on in the morning. This is before Kulap even got up.

Did you mean to turn it on? I did. I did mean to, yeah. Okay. So it wasn't an accident. You didn't have to apologize in song. No. Okay.

So I turned it on and the third song, it's 7.30 in the morning and I'm weeping, my father's house. Oh. Yeah. And I did not expect. I was just like, oh, yeah, let's listen to a little Springsteen here in the morning. And then I'm just like, uh, because he has a monologue. in the middle of it, which is...

You're going to play it? I can play it if you like. But it's making me think of that song. Looking to my father's eyes, my father's eyes. Fucking to my father's eyes. Is that Elton? Is that...

Fucking Jew? No. Is that Eric Clapton? All right, here's... I don't know how long this is, but... If I saw you in heaven. I don't know if we're even going to get to the park. Wait, we'll just skip it.

to the part. Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? Would you know my name? Well, because it was a little bit. Oh, shut up. I hate that fucking well then no. I can't. You want me to skip to the monologue part? This is a song about his...

This is a song about his father who he had a very difficult relationship with. Contentious might say. I'm going to skip, I'm going to skip ahead a little. And I stood on the porch. Borge. All right, you're not the audience for this. have you ever done him i did you fucked him i covered i covered the song of his i covered uh thunder road

oh i meant more doing character oh thunder road never done him as a character but i love that song it's like a song that i never really knew the words to thunder road thunder road i think that's it you nailed it there you go and it's a it's a really it's a really lovely song i really loved it anyway i would suggest i got emotional listening to it by the way it's on netflix or spotify whatever You can watch it. Thunder Road? Yeah. Thunder Road is on Netflix. It got a whole show.

That's why they raised their prices. Yes. No, but that show is really good. You should watch it because it was not what I expected to be where I was like, oh, it'll probably come out and just like, you know, sing acoustic versions of his songs or whatever. But no, it was like him telling the stories behind the songs and everything. It's a very, very moving show. Check it out.

All right. Okay. Check it out. You know what? I don't know much about him, really. So I'd be curious to see that. that. I hope I can see it before Netflix suspends my account again because

they're suspending it every day. Because you're sharing it. Well, I know I get a text every day that says your account has been suspended and you better, you know, I follow this link and then I give some money. Yeah. It's very similar to be. And then I go check and my horses turn back on. And then the next day, another again. And I'm like, all right. I get it again. I get these calls,

these messages on my phone that say 2.1% finance Yeah, when they start in the middle of the sentence, learn to wait for the beat. Thousands of dollars. Yeah. Like, do they... 2.1 billion in...

Do you think you're tricking me? They're relentless. There's way too many. The energy people are relentless. Honestly, wait, Biden needs to get rid of spam callers because he was in the process of getting rid of... They're too smart.

There's no way to get... There's no way to get rid of any... Like, back in the day, this stuff was manageable when like everything was a landline or whatever. Now, there's... The horse is out of the bar. Well, I'm sure it's just automated computers.

The worst thing I had to deal with back in the day was those, like, someone asking you if your refrigerator was running for instance. I mean, like, you get that thing in the mail that was just like a circular. Right. For what is this? Who is? And that was, I was like, how is this legal that this, that were sent this? Nobody wants this.

Because it's like fake discounts or what is it? I don't know what it is. Wait, are you talking about junk mail? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, they paid the post office to. deliver it right yeah yeah yeah but there's a list you can get on my post my postal worker you and I disagree you love junk mail I love it really yes you're because you like to go to the

trash can yeah I love the trash can what's your favorite kind to go probably circular I like when you get the ones that are about the fruits and stuff at the grocery store sometimes I call it the circular filing cabinet but it's just the circular is just about the fruits yeah circular it's just about fruits okay I my post my postal just about fruit new fruit discovered my postal worker no whoops that was a strawberry bonaple my postal worker told me how to get off this list the list is life and I think it's something like you didn't say fucking Jew come on man yeah it's a red come on man oh no wait what is it yeah oh my god I thought it was no I'm going to say the wrong thing so I'm just not going to say it but there's a

There's a website to get off of the junk mail. www. www. Rickroll.com. Yeah, I think it is that. And then you go there and then you watch the little thing. And once you've watched it enough times, you get off. We've been together for the low.

That's a good way to use the Rickroll. It's like you have to watch this five times in a row. The whole song. We've been together for so long. All right. We have to take a break. This message comes from Fos Feminista. When you give to Fos Feminista, your dollar isn't just a dollar.

It's contraception for a woman in Mexico, an exam table for a clinic in Argentina, a vaccine fridge in Nigeria that keeps medicine cold. Your gift can provide health and hope where it's needed most. Learn how your gift can be matched five times at Fosfeminista.org slash podcast. Looking for your next obsession? Escape into the epic world of Red Rising by Pierce Brown, the best-selling dystopian science fiction saga that's had readers hooked for over a decade. With unforgettable characters, fast-pacing, and unparalleled world-building,

Red Rising is the series you won't be able to put down. Readers have called it savage, a blend of science fiction and dystopia with reference to history's greatest conquerors and Greek mythology. Now experience the first book like never before, with the brand new Red Rising Deluxe Slipcase Edition, a true collector's treasure. It features an illustrated slipcase with foil, designed, sprayed edges, full wraparound cover art,

fold-out poster, and full color illustrated endpapers. Whether you're new to the series or revisiting Darrow's Journey, this deluxe edition makes the perfect edition to your shelf or the perfect gift for any fan. The Red Rising Deluxe Slipcase Edition is available now, wherever books are sold. I think that we're back. I am not so sure, but I'm looking around and I see us all here.

I'm here. I'm here. I'm really, really here. See? She sang. Is that a parody of the nightmare before Christmas? Yes. What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? I don't know what the things are. What's this? What's this? I'm standing here in piss. I pissed my pants. I do know one thing And it's piss All right

This is a funny word I'm standing here in piss What's this? I've never seen Nightmare before Christmas Oh it's good That's a one that's one you're going to want to check out But You're going to want to catch up to that one

You could honestly watch it next Halloween or Christmas So honestly You're going to go in a watch Whichever one comes first Make it a double feature with kids Ew. Kids. What's this?

What's this? I'm standing here at Piss. The kids are in my piss. Oh, Paul, do you have a three-cher. I do, honey. It's called. It was submitted by Robert Truist. Truest.

Truist. He spells Robert with two bees. The rain's really coming down out there. Is it? Oh, my gosh. Wet weather. I think he's a robber. And he put a T-Ost.

on the end to throw us up the scent. Great. But this is called off script. Okay. One player opens a wiki page or some other article and starts reading it. I think you meant aloud, but he wrote, starts reading it loud. Well, let's see how loud we can do it. But at a certain point, at a certain point, they start freestyling,

pretending they are still just reading the contents of the article. Oh, that's fun. The other two players have to interrupt the reader the moment they think the reader has gone off script. Bonus rules. Bonus rules? Bonus rules are things that we hate. Other players decide the article subject for the reader to read.

Players get one guess. If nobody guesses correctly, the reader wins the round. Do you want to do random Wikipedia? It's a random. Yeah. How do you do it? I don't know. I just looked it up.

I don't know either. Special random. Special random. Okay, I got one. Okay. And then you'll tell us how to get there. And you'll start? Yeah, I'll start.

All right. Napoleon Bracey, Jr. Oh, God, you're fine. Okay. Because I'm a Napoleon Bracey Jr. I know all about. I'll know exactly when you go out there. Him.

Napoleon Bracey Jr. is an American politician. He serves as a Democratic member of the Alabama House of Representatives, where he represents Mobile County, Alabama. In May 2017, he opposed the bill for the Alabama Memorial Preservation Act which would make

oh God which would make it harder to remove Confederate monuments in Alabama he argued people that sponsor bills like this don't care about me

and why should I care about them because I think I think you've got up I think at one point I think I think it was right

And your voice is heard different. No, no, he did say that. He did say people don't care about me. People that sponsor bills like this don't care about me. He did say it. And that's the final word of the article. Wow. Well, then I miss, I missed.

Okay. Should I do one? Yeah, you do one. Okay. You do one. This is the Wikipedia for Smarty's tablet candy. I don't know what it's called. Tablet candy!

Okay. I'm going to try to focus. What a gift to find out. that as a term. I love that. In the United States, Smarties are a type of tablet candy produced by Smarties Candy Company, formerly known as CD Candy Inc.

Since 1949, smarties are produced in factories in both Union Township, New Jersey, and New Market, Ontario. The candies... You're smiling, so you're going off. No, I'm not. The candies distributed in Canada are marketed as

Rockets to avoid Don't look at me Is it going to see my eyes not moving in the same way? Is this a bonus rule? Yeah. Bonus rule.

You don't have to look at the bar. Distributed in Canada are marketed as rockets to avoid confusion with smarties, a chocolate candy produced by Nestle

which owns the trademark in Canada. Rockets are small disc-shaped check. Okay. Why does you know? Why did you know?

Why? I don't know why. You have to let it go on even when we know. I know, I know. Because it's like, because I want to hear. Yeah, you want to hear the stupid shit. Okay. You want to hear the stupid shit.

Okay, go. The Great Molasses Flood. Whoa. Also known as the Boston molasses disaster was a disaster that occurred on January 15th, 1919 in the north end neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts. A large storage tank filled with 2.3 million U.S. gallons of molasses, weighing approximately 13,000 short tons. burst and the resultant wave of molasses rushed through the streets, rushed through the streets

and avenues, storefronts, and homes of 1,000 people killing 21 and injuring all the rest. The screams were heard for two towns over. Many of the gurgles of the people who had inhaled the molasses were, quote, Quote, chilling and scary as fuck. Okay. You haven't started riffing yet as far as I'm the turn. That's a long, boring one. That was good.

Okay. Scott? Okay. I have to re-random it because I can't even pronounce this. Okay. Randoming. Here we go. Chandler C. Cohagen.

Chandler C. Cohagen. April 24th, 1989 to December 9, 1985 was an American architect who designed around 200 buildings in the state of Montana, including the current Montana governor's residence. He almost... He almost.

He almost designed 201, but he said, I'm too tired. Shut up. Okay. Okay. Cardboard. It says it say around 200 buildings, or do you make that up?

It says around 200 buildings. Cardboard. $19. Cardboard? Cardboard. How did you get cardboard? I wrote it. How do you randomize it?

You go to, uh, you don't want me to do cardboard? You go to special colon random. Special colon random? Yeah. I think if you search that or. No, it actually worked. I just did random, yeah. Great.

Okay. So how do I do it? Okay, so boop. I'm going to random again because I can't pronounce that person's name. William W. Hay. William W. Hay, October 12, 1934 to October 27, 2022, was an American geologist, marine geologist, micropalientologist, paleoceanographer, and paleo climatologist. as well as paleo-doctor and paleo pediatrician.

He is best known for his work, resulting in the discovery of many different fish under the sea as well as within the hearts and minds of the adults and children. children he worked with those his ability touch. William Winne his best

known his discovery of something very much known to man, chocolate. Wait, he discovered something very much known to man. He was the first person to turn a cacao bean into a chocolate bar,

thus resulting in the mistakes created in the Willy Wonka universe. So Willy Wonka was real. This is wild. Unbeknownst to his family, he created a new technology resulting in the making of skyscrapers. When his family found out they were noticeably mad, but allowed him to continue his work as it was funding their school payments as well as bills and electricity.

Academic career. He received his BS in biology and his MS in Mrs. Anyway, that's where I went off. In MS. DOS. All right, this is Eddie Stewart Steele. Jeanette Eddie Stewart Steele, 5 October 1890, July 1983, was a British chemist. She submitted the first PhD thesis at the University of St. Andrews

and worked there for the rest of her career. and several roles, including university assistant, lecturer, warden of the women's students' residence, secretary to principal James Irvine, head, butterface,

and King Lady. She was instrumental in creating soda pop that everyone likes. She invented the root beer float before the invention of root beer. She also invented ice cream by accident when she was trying to invent a new form of surgical lace.

One of her students, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, became the creator and destroyer of Sherlock Holmes. Another of her students also created Sherlock Holmes, but after Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. These two students eventually met, fell in love, and got married. And guess who did the ceremony? It was Eddie Stewart's deal.

Wikipedia pages don't have guess who. She dressed up like a priest and everybody thought it was so funny because women were not priests in those days. They mostly were wives, mothers, and the first PhD thesis submitters at the University of St. Andrews. Eddie died of complications due to a broken leg, which went all the way up to her brain. And the crack started at the foot, traveled up the shin, turned at the knee, thigh bone,

yes, pelvis, stop, don't make any comments. And then every single rib, bing bong, bing bong going from left to right, then up the neck bones, and then skull. People could hear her scream from two towns over. She fell down and everyone came running. to help her. But she waved them off saying, no, no, no, everyone has their time. And this is mine. I lived a good life. I got to do a thesis and dress up like a priest. I'll never forget any of you. And she looked at everyone's face for a solid two minutes. And then she went back at the

beginning and said, now tell me your names one by one. They did. And she smiled and said, it's time for me to go a citation needed then she flew everyone saw her soul rise up out of her body it winked at everyone one by one and then went up to heaven but then came back down and said I missed you and then winked at Sir Arthur Conan Doyle she has survived by her great grandchildren

who all look exactly like her and according to some sound like her too um and no more is known about her except that she went to heaven oh wow all right so that was her wow incredible that's yeah wow for sure i'm proud of all of us fun game fun game fun game thanks robbert if you want to email us to suggest a three chair or just to tell us you love us you could do so at through m usa at gmail dot com if you like to call us and tell us you love us uh or ask for some advice or some shit call hag claims eight that's the number eight imagine a hag going around and killing eight people yeah fun and if you and that's how you remember that yeah and if you want to hear ad free

episodes you can hear them at stitch or premium or CBB world and if you want a three visit on the twos on Tuesdays we're re-releasing our previous episodes that have been behind paywalls for too many years we have been checking Reddit in the past week we have not seen any votes in the poll as whether or not. Oh, yeah, we're going to be a great. Reggie Miller should be made. And no one has updated us either. No one has updated us.

Yeah. We've been checking. Radio silence for over a week. Yeah. So please do vote in that poll and then update us. Yeah. And we love you, Piss Pigs. We love you.

Lauren, any last words? Any final words? I really love you. I'm sorry. I was talking to Mike. Yeah. All right. See you next week.

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