Threedom - Threevisiting: Zig Zig Says Bro Bro

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss weird landlords, try out their Grover impressions, and play “Fortunately/Unfortunately” for the feature. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

Anyway, MG. Oh, so not, it's a historical figure? I don't feel like I guessed. And I have one right now that I've been mulling over. I have one too. Okay, mother goose. Did we ever decide if it was real people or not? Well, I don't know.

Is mother goose a person? No, I think it could know, it could be fictional characters. Well, here's the thing. One clue that was very interesting was, we asked if the person was involved in a war, and he kind of was a little wishy-washy. He was wishy-washy on that. Yeah, it's fineless. I'm not very good at historical figures.

You're not very good at historical figures? Yeah. No, no, go ahead, go ahead. Like being friends with them? Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, okay, I got no. You're not very good at historical figures? No, no, no, go ahead, go ahead. Like being friends with them? Totally, yeah, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, okay, I'll talk to you later. All right, love you, bye. Hey, Mikhail Gorbachev.

I love you. Hey, hi guys. Hi guys. It was a telemarketer. Mikhail Gorbachev. Um, no, what if I said Mikhail Gorbachev? Then, I don't know. No, it said, Mikhail Gorbachev? Then I don't know. Uh, no, it's not Mikhail Gorbachev.

What? That was the best answer we had. I swear. Uh, sorry guys, do you give up? No. One more. One more. We need more.

We need more. We need more. Question. Is this person dead? Yee-yo. Yeah. Is this person an historical figure? Yes. Is this person American? Yee-yo, yeah. Is this person an historical figure? Yes.

Is this person American? No, sir. Is this person British? I know. Is this person Mahatma Gandhi? Yes! Oh, I know! Yes!

It's not funny. I feel like you guys said. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad.

I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad.

I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. I'm not sad It only took a week. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I... Sorry, not... Sorry. ...entertainment weekly they wanted to get a subscription before they stopped going weekly. They're going monthly,

but they're still calling it entertainment weekly. It's very confusing. Anyway, welcome to entertainment entertainment news. I'm freedom. I'm Paul F. Scacerman. I'm Lappy. Flappy. Lappy. Flappy. Give me that. Lappy. Lappy. Lappy. L it. You mean happy, love it. Nice. I like laughing, too, happy. That's a great song. I like toasted death. I was like, we were just saying. I like bread and butter.

Hi, guys. What's crack? Hi. What is crack-a-lacking? What is crack-a-lacking with all of you? That was. I'll put that on again. So did you feel bad when you had to leave or did you not care?

I like this. I like this line of questioning. How did you feel bad when you had to leave or did you not care? I like this. I like this. I'm not questioning. How did you feel about us? Yeah, and were you worried like, oh, I've been out here a while. I... Why do you keep slightly taking your glasses off? Because they're... My headphones are making them crush my skull. No, I don't like it for you. And so I was like trying to take them above the headphones and that was weird. Do I have glasses every day? Uh, I have been, yeah, ever since the TV show.

Do it glasses every day. Well, you know what it, why I said it like that? Cause I'm dumb. No, because I was like, I feel like I don't know that answer, yet I see all the time. I'm supposed to, yeah. I feel like your default has been glasses. Lately, yeah, so what happened?

I would say his default has been glasses. I was, I was on the default has been glasses. Lately it has, yeah. So what happened? I would say his default has been glasses. I was, I was on the, default has been glasses. I would say your de apostrophe fault. Default. I was on the show, I was on the TV show. What a great show. The TV show as well, no.

We all know the TV show. Now like there have been many, many program, but none of them stand at test time. The only one that, like how many baby? I have been on TV. It's like the law, you know, the city. And so for five years, so for the last three seasons of it,

we worked every day. Freeze, and freeze, yes. And you worked. You worked every day. We worked every day. And never even got like vacations off. We got the weekends off, but so I couldn't go to doctors and stuff.

So I went for three years without going to a dentist or a doctor or a med. I don't remember this about you, bud. I remember this. I have a problem with it. Because A, you're the boss. B, you gotta say how do they make hours for the same. Don't start it, bud. But you know, I wanna sleep in. Be Bruce Springsteen. You got a Saturday bag. They make hours for the Saturday bag.

Oh, bad. You know, I wanna sleep in. Yeah, when you're doing weird. You're like Bartleby, the scriptener, I would rather not. I don't think so. I would prefer not to, is Bartleby the scriptner like an actual thing or is it just a reference people make?

Or is it Andy Kaufman, Karen? It used to be a thing and now it's just a reference. It just brought a conference. It's the spiritual story. So's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference.

It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference. It's just a reference.

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You know, my prescription is so bad. How bad is it? She gestured to us like, aren't you going to follow this? How bad is it? That I feel that I can't really wear my glasses when I go out in the world because A, they magnify my face in a weird way. And B, I can't really wear my glasses when I go out in the world because a they magnify my face in a weird way and b I can't see peripherally and so it's very stressful. I've got a bit more tired. When do you wear it then just to move you?

At home, like when I go to like when I'm done for the day. When nothing's going to sneak up on you. You can your peripheral vision on the food. Yeah. Well, when I'm, are you, are you like a blind person where you know the steps of how to get around your apartment? Yes. I really do.

I can do a lot. I can actually remember where I put something and then grab it. But I can't see it. She's miming this out, staring blankly as if she's portraying a blind person in a movie and grabbing something to her eyes. I know things. To someone watching me, I might look like I know what I'm doing. But I'm actually going, I think my glasses are over there, and I'm like, doomp, and then they are. Oh, wow.

It's really that much of what it just a blur? Yeah, so you're, you can't see us right now, basically. I have contacts in. Oh, I didn't know that. I know that. Well, what I ever do anything. If I was, I would not be able to see your face. So your prescription is,

your prescription is bad enough, but for the contacts you can see peripherally. Is that okay? Because they cover the ball they cover the ball. I can't get contacts because because I need different prescriptions for far away and close so okay, Grover Grover Cleveland the Muppets the Cleveland show over Cleveland the Muppets from the Cleveland show, from the Cleveland show, the President of the United States. Our American dad. I don't know what Grover has to do with, he did a very funny and memorable demonstration of near and far.

Oh, oh, yes, I know near and far, yeah. Back in the clip. Yeah, first time. Let's listen to a six minute clip of this. Now Grover, I understand you brought a clip. You look to be like, do you do a Grover? Couldn't even tell you what he sounds like. I was honestly trying to find Johnny Carson,

impressionably good. He's very Grover sounds like, like Yoda, like an Ampt-Up Yoda. I'm doing it! What am I doing? Ah, oh Fuzzy Bear, that's what I'm doing. Yes, that's Fuzzy Bear. Ah, what the, what the, what the, that's good.

I'm Kermit. The frog. Oh, I am Mrs. Piggie. Kermit to the frog. Krayhoo. Krayhoo. Krayhoo. Hi, ho.

Kermit the frog. Wait, so if you can do a Yoda, you can do a Miss Piggy. Hey, look, if you can do a Yoda, you can do a Miss Piggy. Is that true though? Let's do a Yoda. Hello there. Hello. Hello there. Hello. Hello. Sitting down, am I? I hate him. I know. I wait. If you can do him. Talk backwards, it's annoying. It's very annoying. It's syntax like, you know, when you, you know, the language is syntax is different.

Yeah, but then he's. He's 900 years old. He should have grasped. He's the only one to have the syntax only. Talk like that. It's like eventually. Yeah. Everyone else.

So wait, if you can do, if you can do Yoda, Yoda, how far away is it from Miss Piggy? This is not the name. Hello? Hello, Kermie. Yeah, I guess it's kind of the same, right? Yeah. Hi, Kermie. Oh my God.

What is behind me? What is behind me? You guys are looking at a TV screen. I'm watching a group on ads starring Tiffany Hose. Why? I can't look away. Why are we watching? Oh, it's so fun. I want to hear Grover's voice.

This is not nearing for our team. Grover serves a burger. Oh, it is you. Oh, it is you. Okay, so that's Frank goes too. Grover got a second. Kevin, why is this happening? Did you request this?

No, I said play near and far. He's pointing me as if I'm to blame. He's typing something. What is happening right now? We're just watching Grover. Here's the clip that'll explain your vision and all so you don't know what it is so give it to Tori on the Grover voice Very good. How does he keep this up? So when he was directing Butterfinger, no, I think I'm sorry.

Remember from the Louder? Sorry. I didn't know what that reference was. And I was like, why are you imagining Frank Oz saying, why? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think we ruined.

We actually did. Proflact. When I was a kid, I had no idea what he was talking about. Right. Because he said, Proflact, and you a kid, I had no idea what he was talking about. Right. I saw that Win because he said prophylactic and you know that condom was no, I didn't know what a condom was either. Okay, what do you think a condom is now? I think it's same as downtown. I think it's to lose With a big empty hole. I think it's a loose blue with a big empty hole you. How old are you? Subscribe. We want to be the tell you, my man.

What? We're very. I just got to know about you. Florian and I are very full of beans. You guys are very loose today. We're very, very loose. We're very silly today. Yeah, very silly. So when you were a kid, you, you, you saw the Blues Brothers

repeatedly, this rated our movie. No, I saw it in the theater. You did? Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's the theater. My dad was in the theater with my daddy. With your daddy. And he was a Blues Brothers fan or he was a Blues fan or he was a fan of brothers?

I wanted to see this film. I requested to see this film. Okay. And he took me to see this film. It's very nice. It's my vocal warm up. I wanted to see his film. I wanted to see this film. I me to see this film. It's very nice. It's very nice. It's my vocal warm up. I wanted to see his... I wanted to see this film.

I requested to see this film. He took me to see this film. And Curtin. So, and how did he feel about it? Because as I recall, that movie has curse words. And did he care about that kind of thing? And some glasses indoors, which I'm... Oh, he's not a big fan of.

Who knows what that guy felt about anything? You know what I'm saying? So, no, it didn't talk about it afterwards. Was there a story? We don't. Well, the one thing that my dad, just like at home, the one thing my dad and I kind of had a bond over was comedy. Oh, okay.

And we used to watch together, when SCTV was on late night on Fridays at like 12 30 those 90 minute episodes We would watch those together in the kitchen. Yeah, and we would laugh and make pasta before SNL No concurrently Mm-hmm and who who got on the air first? SNL was on the air. SNL was on the air first. And then they were like, let's try a Canadian style. Yes. Well, a lot of people came from second city. Dan Edwards came. Yeah. SNL became so popular like a lot of the initial cast came from us

from the second city up in Canada. And so then they were like, well, let's make our own show. And then NBC picked it up for those 90s. And then actually, yeah, but they did episodes and they did like half hour shows in the 70s that are watching on PBS. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Interesting.

The public broadcasting system. No, it was free. No, it was free. But it's free. PBS had money Python on it. Whoa. Whoa. I've only seen like two money Python sketches.

Which ones? Fucking fucking cheese shop. No. I've only seen like two money Python sketches. Which ones? Fucking. Fucking cheese shop. No. The Spanish acquisition. One is the one horses maybe. Or horse sound effects. Oh, you saw the money.

The Holy Grail. Why didn't see that? I saw a clip of that. Okay, fine. Fine. I want to make it clear, but I don't know what I'm asking you out of this. I'm simply understanding yourself.

Simply understanding yourself. Show down. She doesn't really understand yourself. What do you write an urgent message on that banana? It's Paul's writing in a marker on this banana. Like with a fervency. So what's the other one you saw? That's it.

That's all I remember. I don't even know. I guess it was a movie then. So do you think that you should watch any or were you like this? I've never really cared, but. This is a bunch of dudes. You're into female comics.

I'm gonna win this comedy. First of all, I made that up funny. I'll scream it again. Oh, scream it again. Go ahead, scream it. Man, I'm funny! This time you convinced me. Okay.

Yeah, that was the one. No, I just never really cared. It looked dusty. It looked uninteresting. Like the tape you were. Yeah, like it looked like, you know, like the quality of the film. It was like,

You like pristine things in 1080p. Not, you know, not even a sister. I just think as a kid, no one was saying like, this is so funny, you gotta see that. Nobody was saying that about it. It's so funny, you gotta see this. You know that, I feel like people who love money pythons are like, my older brother,

a little bit. There's always some story. Right, yeah. I didn't like, and then because I wasn't a dude, I wasn't seeking it out. Do you know what's funny is that I, when I found it, there was not, you discovered it well

I first in the ancient tomb who buried it. Yeah, and I'm cursed I always talk about dead parents I Don't remember talking about it with the only friend that I can remember was a friend in high school who share an affinity for it Mm-hmm And we ended up being a comedy act together. Oh, that's right. You were going to do a act, but we were very influenced by money by that.

His name was Rick Roman. Interesting. He's dead now. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, did you do it? No. Then you're right. I thought I had a lead there.

Finally. The first person to say I'm sorry. Of course, the chase. The first, anytime anyone does, the first person to say I'm sorry. The first, anytime anyone does, the first person to say I'm sorry, is always the main thing. No, interesting. I know. When you're just binge a great podcast called...

I just binge a great podcast. Serial? No, called... Could you call a podcast serial like C-E-R-E-A-L? Horatio Sanz did it. I was on it up. Oh. The serial podcast.

No, but it was about, I was like a parody of that, I guess. Okay. I was in his basement for a reason. I saw it. It's all be coming out of there. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck is going on here? What was the name of his studio, a basement studio?

He called it something. I never was a guy. I couldn't hear with it. Bro bro? Bro bro? Bro bro studio. That's very early. Zig Zig says bro bro.

Um, boss. Is that the title? Zig Zig says bro bro. I mean, it's an early as well. Early contender for sure. For the podcast I listened to was called to live in Dianna LA. Have you listened to this?

I've heard of it. I've not heard it. Really good. And there's 12 episodes plus like a bonus. One that has- Is about people who've died in L.A. Or lived in L.A. It's one story.

And they did both. They did both. Get yourself a minute who can do both. The story is about this woman who was 25 and she was an aspiring actress in L.A. Last year she went missing. She lived in L.A. Last year.

She lived in Hollywood. She was just like going to acting classes. She lived in Hollywood. I'm just saying it was right at our doorstep. Do you understand? You could have walked past her on the street. Wow! And you're a cackling. I know it's not something else. I was the one who got to go live and die. Living and die.

I was such pride. My man can live and die. It's every, it's a bunch of people in court. They're still with them. That's her one requirement. That's a man they can't live anymore. So wait, so this woman would pass you on the street? No, I'm just saying you put it on the street. It's possible. She wanted would pass you on the street? No, I'm just saying you could have- She did pass me on the street. She's possible.

She wanted to pass me on the street? It's all she wanted. So she- That's our warm-up note. She could have passed me on the street. She wanted to pass me on the street. She did pass me on the street. She did pass me on the street and curtain.

She died, so stop laughing. Oh, I'm sorry. But no, the podcast is so interesting because this woman went missing. She was having a relationship with this other guy from her acting class who was engaged to someone else. So they were having an affair. Beer scolari. Hit no.

No. This is like name was a demand Wilson spots. Chris spots spots or Chris P.O.G. Z. Oh, it's worse than what I was thinking. I know, but you'll find out more about his name if you listen, but put me in the spot slide. Yeah, it's what he always said.

I'm ready to play. They both met in this acting class and then he was cheating on his fiance with her and whatever. That's hot. And then she goes missing. It's pretty out. So basically the police are on the hunt, you know, they're on the case, but they don't really get that thorough with it. And this journalist who's making the podcast goes out of his way to like work with a private investigator to try to solve the mystery. And he, he basically, he

does. Yeah. And it's spot. Um, well, no, I'm not telling you with this. What the, it takes many twists and turns. But it's spot. I'm not going to tell you what happens. Is this the Neil Stroust thing? I don't know what that is. Is he, did he do a, Laura Dupelig-Dome? Did he kill her? Who is Neil Stroust? Neil Stroust was the guy who wrote that book, The Game,

about, oh, yeah, mystery. Oh, the thing that I do. Oh, The Game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a way, the way, the way, every day. There was, I was, I was, I do. No, the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but there was I was I was told about an argument that happened in a text thread where people were bagging on Neil Strauss, the author of the game, and then someone thought that it was the movie the game. I'm like, why is it so bad that this guy for writing the game? Yeah, I like that movie. Wow. So Neil Strauss is a murderer. That's so weird. That's not that's so great.

I believe in the investigation. Do you like stuff like that? I don't typically. I barely like listen to you talk about it. Well, I'm not as interesting as the podcast. Honestly, I feel like cereal turned me off to those kinds of pun. Here's the two things that I've listened to in that vein. Serial, which was so disappointing. I know that was such a bummer. This one's not about it. It's disappointing early where it's like when they kind of

realized they weren't going to wrap it up and they're like, I think also in the third episode they were asking for donations. I know. And then the other one was, you must remember this. People can donate to us if they like. Yeah, I'll take. Please donate to us. If you donated to serial, donate an equal amount to us.

Yes, yes. And that sounds fair, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Yes, and present. So an equal amount plus a present. And that way, one of us will murder one of the other people. Okay. Who would you murder out of the three of us?

If I had to kill one of you and fucking Mary. I fucking Mary myself and I kill you. I kill myself. Oh, I kill both of you. I couldn't just kill one of you. What? Scott. And then fuck you. I don't typically like true crime. I don't feel like I that. Oh, no. Fucking nice. I don't like that. I'm like, oh, I don't typically like true crime. I don't feel like I like fake crime. I like fake crime.

I like fake crime. Okay, go on. Are you familiar with, you must remember this? No. Collabelessness of that. What's that? It's, it's hard to describe.

It's, it's a, this person who does these deep, kind of deep dives on different historical events. Are they all fan ill? I'm not sure, but the one I listened to on a road trip was about the the Manson family murders. And the host has a sort of peculiar way of speaking. She overennunciates as I've sometimes and then sometimes not. Okay. Like there are certain things that she says too crisply and clearly like no one says

that word that way. Every sentence sounds like it's take 14. Yes. But then she also kept saying, unfortunately, she does a, a, a D's for T thing that always drives me crazy. It's for T's notes. I don't know. I don't know why it bothers me so much. No, I don't even mean it. It really bothers me. And there was a, like you have an example. There was a motorcycle gang that came up in this story again

and again, whose name was the straight Satan's. Oh, God. And she kept saying straight Satan's. And it was driving me out. Well, you're gonna say straight. You're gonna say straight. You're gonna say straight. Exactly. Exactly.

But when people say important, it drives me. Important. Important. Yeah, important. It's crazy. We're taking down other podcasters. I love it. The Trump says important.

She has so much other than some one. She is so hot. It's her one flaw. I know. It's so weird. I don't like true crime. I like funny fake crimes. I like funny fake crime. You like a man steals a trampoline

and he uses it to get away. Fake it's crime. Hey, Jumson and trampoline to get out of the backyard. He steals a trampoline and he uses it to get away from everyone. He bounces away. I'm in between. I like Lee Miz, but with a laugh track.

Right. What's going on with your wrist? Someone calling me, my phone tell me. Oh! My watch tell me my phone call. I was at watch band, is that from the Apple Company or did you get from an Etsy? I got it from Etsy, you love the band. What?

What do you mean? You guys started it. I want to get from those bands. You're not watch people, It's not for bull. What do you mean? You guys started it. I want to get from the Span. You're not watch people. You're not watch people. I had one for a while. In fact, I think I've been given like three or four.

I tried to wear one for a bit. I got a very small delicate watch and loved it. But eventually was like, it's not, I'm not every day. Oh my God, look at my wrist all day. First one, I'm never gonna look at it. Second of all. Did you say you're not gonna look at it every day? No, I'm not gonna, I'm not every day. I'm not gonna look at my wrist all day. First of all, I'm never gonna look at it. Second of all. Did you say you're not gonna look at it every day?

No, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna look at it every day. First of all, I'm never gonna look at it. Second of all, first of all, I'm never gonna look at it. Second of all, first of all, I'm never gonna look at it. Second of all, first of all, I'm never gonna look at it every day.

No, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna look at it every day. No, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna look at it every day. First of all, I'm never gonna look at it every day. First of all, I'm never gonna look at it. Second of all, I'm not gonna look at it every day. First of all, I'm never gonna look at it every day. at her wrist. Stephanie Allen has a really great like big watch. Yeah, it's like, but it's like big like, I don't even like, like, play the play practically. Let me get it. Practically on the paper. We're remaining wild horses. Let me guess who's a watch and who's a not. Oh, yeah, you'll get it. And play fuck Mary Kill as well. Okay. Aaron not a

lot. Fuck Mary. Yeah. Fuck Mary. So you'd fuck Mary. Well, I mean, a good marriage. He killed the other three. How's that healthy sex? Fuck Mary. Fuck Mary Holland is what I was saying. It made me blush. Let's play fuck Mary Holland. Stop it. I don't like this.

I don't like this. I don't like this room. Who would you fuck? Who would you marry? Who would you marry? Who would you have it ruin me that way? Okay. I'm going to say Aaron, no watch.

You're going to guess them all. You're going to go one by one. I'm gonna say Aaron, no watch. You're gonna guess them all, you're gonna go one by one. I'm gonna go one by one. You're correct. Mary, she's the wild card. Oh yeah. I'm gonna say, she's a sometimes watch. Exactly. Wow.

And then Stephanie obviously watch all the time because of that big chunky watch. She looks cool and it looks cool on her wrist. She looks cool in it. So it's not good. Well, it looks cool on her. Yeah, she's peering out from inside of it. But I feel like I could never pull it off.

It's a big bowl. You know, it's a look. I don't know, I don't see you as a watch person. I think that like the day you wear a watch is like, you start walking and go, oh, hello, hello. You know why? Because time is meaningless to me. Yeah.

Janie's not a watch person. Janie's not a watch. Early in our relationship, I bought her, it took me two watches to realize she was not a watch. Oh, you know what, I bought the watch. The watch gift is so intense. Yeah, I bought it. I love watches.

Yeah, you would definitely have watch for it. It took me two purses to figure out you should never buy a purse for any. Dude, that's such a hard choice. It is. I was like, oh, here's a purse, you definitely are watchers. It took me two purses to figure out you should never buy a purse for you. Dude, that's such a hard choice. It is. I was like, oh, here's a purse, you'll enjoy it. I got the most. Oh, we've heard this story.

I can't even imagine what purse you would have picked. We know this story. I don't even know. I want to see it. You want to see it. I mean, this is 20 years ago. I know, I described that. I had no idea, but it was just, oh, I couldn't even tell you.

You have no idea. You were like, cute. But that's the thing is I look at the purse I bought And I look at the purse she bought and you're like hey, you're what's the fucking School you're in high school. What are you complaining about? Come on there are such Purses are so much Sick sick yeah, you did it when she was in high school no no I know that's what I'm saying

sick that's if you had not even close not even close four years later it's not even close no wait one year later what was it college right now it was like five years after it was five years after her freshman year. Yeah, she was 19. So five years after she started high school is not bad. That's a long, that's half a decade. That's sick. What is this? You were 49. No, that's not. Come on, all right, let's take a break.

All right, hello. I mean hi. Hi, welcome back. Guys, can I share a thought with you? Yeah, that I was gonna put it on the text thread. And I was like, no, I'm gonna tell these guys in person. And love it, man, the text thread, I gotta say, that's a whole other show. That could be a show. Oh, it could be a show. Oh, you guys, if you could only say the text thread?

You guys. It would lose your shit. Do you remember though, when we're on a text thread of eight of us who all went to Hawaii together? And the month probably that everyone was just doing stickers all over the world. Oh, I know. It was so exciting.

It was so exciting. I loved it. No, I mean, exactly. Yeah. Like anyone would text anything, it would just be covered with five stickers of varying just pulsating worms and stuff. I had to put on Dino just to her,

so that I wasn't getting an update every time. I know. I know. I'll check back in. There will be times where I will go, I will be like in a meeting for a half hour and I will look at my phone and there will be 83 texts from all of you. Yeah. And they're all garbage, meaning it's garbage.

Yeah. Anyway, tell us what you're going to go. I mean, that's the way I look at it. I look at it. They're all fun fun communications fun communications what friends? I Don't remember what made me think this but I realized that we're all

Now I'm shy to say oh, I don't be shy. He's peeking up from In between his fingers he went in the corner He's peeking up from the middle in between his fingers. I'm back, kid. Look at you. He went in the corner, and he's like, I'm back. Come back. That we're going to know each other when we're old.

Wow. Wow. Well, I realized today that I've known you guys a lot longer than I even realized. Yeah, how long? I think I met you in 2013 or 2012, maybe. Maybe not. Do the year we may contact I feel like maybe yes something like seven years, but but like six or seven because I was actually thinking about that

Oh shit That will co or um what's it called Jeff Tweety party? Oh, yeah, yeah, the Jeff Tweety party. We went to a private concert But Jeff Tweety did it he went to a private concert, but Jeff Tweety did it. He taught me to put it. Jeff Tweety taught me to put it. Was the singer Sylvester invited? Yeah. Yeah, what did he say? Sylvester must be dead, right? Sylvester, he's saying get real. Is that right? She haven't looked it up. So Vester the cat has a song. No, no, a singer named Sylvester. What is Sylvester's biggest hit? His absolute biggest hit.

And please tell us in mind, form, do not get on my. I don't think I've ever heard of Sylvester's biggest hit. Sylvester, do it with Usher is by our Kelly. That's not at all. Do you have like an R Kelly filter where you're always looking for all our Kelly news? Oh, sorry, get another R Kelly. What do you typically use Siri for? I have never used it. What?

Ever? Ever now. What do you use it for, Paul? What do I use what for? Siri. Do you know what I use it for? a lot is dictation in the car. Oh. Like on a text?

Yes, so I don't touch my phone over much. I use Alexa because we got an Echo Dot like two months ago. So I've used that occasionally. I hope this makes people's Alexa's come to life if they're listening without headphones. Alexa. No, but too many people, their series go off while they're filming shows.

Alexa, play the national anthem. Loud. Alexa, turn it on. Volume up 50%. I realize I kind of only use Siri to ask how tall actors are. I do. And how tall are they? I do it like all during shows.

And are you asking because you want to see how your body would be next to theirs? No, like I always want to guess, guess we I guess that is part of it But like how would I'm like wait if you were if you were at a premiere with them? Yeah Is this so vester? Yeah, this is you make me feel oh you make me feel you the epilogue Oh, right. Yes This is where they live maybe feel mighty real. That's yeah, all the people to die during the making him song He was a disco singer.

The, the, the uh, upbeat version of this is, is a great song. So how tall are actors he says? Five eight. They're all five eight. What are you? I'm five, 10. No. Siri, how tall are actors?

Ha, ha, ha. Siri, how tall is Lauren Lapkiss? Oh, let's find out. Siri, how tall is Lauren Lapkiss? Oh, let's find out. Siri, how tall is Lauren Lapkiss? I found this on the web. Oh, what'd she find? I don't know, I don't know. Wikipedia is the first hit.

Siri, how tall is Paul F Tomkins? I found this on the web. So I find the web. I found the web. Siri, you fucking come. Okay, wait. Yes, Siri, I can type. I found this on the web. I found the web. I found the web. Siri, you fucking cunt. Okay, wait. Yes, Siri, I can type.

I found your entire biography on some weird... You wrote away all of it? Wait, listen, this is on... Did you write a biography? This is on Hyde. Benjamin Franklin. This is a biography of yours. I'm telling you about that key.

I didn't make a lot of love about that key. Wait, you guys. This is on a website called heightline.com. Like, like, I don't even know if it ever says your high. I have your whole career history. Okay, further more. He has made guests. You have so much on there, there's a further more conclusion. He's the voice of Mr. Pino butter. What Siri look up? Law pictures of Lauren's feet. I hope so. Okay. Okay, wait, his height and body measurements.

Oh, God, you bet. Collab Tomkins is very tall. Handsome and has an attractive personality. Whoa. He stands at five feet nine inches with a masculine body structure. What? I'm, you could tell me.

He has wonderful body measurement. Who the fuck wrote this? However, his measurement can't be ascertained at the moment. Oh! His weight and shoe slash feet size are also not available. Oh, they're not available. Do you want to put him out there right now? Hey, look, I'm nine and a half triple E for a shoe.

That's right. I got a wide foot. Triple E. Triple E. Yeah, more like triple X. More like a little, little, little, little. Okay. Siri, how tall is... is Siri how tall is Scott

Awkerman I found this on the web she changed it up here's what I found I want to find you in a weird Siri what is Scott Awkerman's net worth Jesus okay here I'm on famous birthday is not next to the mic. To the next of the mic. The estimated. Oh, don't. Oh, my God. Those things aren't right, though. They're not right. They're not right. They're not right.

They're not right. They're not wrong. I said $150. Oh, yeah, that's about right. This one's boring. Is it just what's in my pocket right now? I want to find a funny one about you. A funny one.

Okay. This is fun. Fun with Siri. Scott Ockerman Epic Fails. How many Epic Fails do I have on the web? I want to find a funny one about you. What a funny one. Okay. This is fun. Fun with Siri. Oh, Scott Ockerman epic fails. How many epic fails do I have on the web? Gotta be a lot. Oh my lord.

So now Lauren is just like scrolling through her phone. I know. I'm on information cradle.com. What a talent. I want to find the weirdest website about you. I'm on the TigrisUfraidys.net. Scott Alcherman height. He stands at a height of 1.91 meters.

What is this? 1.91 meters. God. Congrats, man. Hey, yeah. That means this is from Europe. That's big. How big, how much is a meter?

It's a foot. Yeah. So they think you're like a little over a foot Scott all come in Deadpool Deadpool is a fictional character appearing in American It's said people are maybe losing interest This is so unbranded for Deadpool who's very afraid. Oh my God. Anyway, eventually we'll be older. We'll still know each other.

Yeah, that'll be cool. We'll have lots of memories. Yeah, I hope so. I guess so. What do you think we won't make? Well, I'm just, I hope that I have all my memories. It's like my fear. Are you guys gonna stay in LA? Or are you gonna move away? Well, when I'm like 80, I'm planning I hope that I have all my memories. It's like my fear. Are you guys gonna stay in LA or are you gonna move away?

Well, when I'm like 80, I'm planning to move away. No, no. Well, some people. So much is gonna happen. Yeah, but some people are like, my dream is that I eventually retired, move back to Chicago or whatever. I want to have multiple properties in different cities where I can go to at any point. I mean, that's my dream.

Don't go right up. It could be a studio apartment. This is a fancy pieted hair. You're paying rent, too, and you're not there. 11 months out of the year. If I don't know, I wouldn't advise that as your financial advisor. But I'm renting out an Airbnb.

All right, still. I don't know. If you don't want to be a landlord, I know. Not at all. Forget it. I'll just die here, I guess. Yeah. We have next to us is a rental for granted. We're looking to do both.

You've already lived here. You know, it's only one thing remaining. We are, the property next door to us is a rental property with three units. And for when we moved in, over there's a fence between the properties and over the fence was growing this wisteria. Beautiful.

We love the beautiful. But also afforded some privacy. We love it. Nature's privacy. For both parties. For both, yeah. Nature's privacy. Trees, nature's privacy.

Well, there's this, the landlord. Wait, who's, who's that? Who's Siri? Who's Siri was that? This is why I don't have Siri, because it just goes off the most, I think it was yours Paul actually. Mine's not set to do that.

Really? Yeah, I don't have a Hey Siri. I just, I really, Hey Siri. Hey Siri. Oh, you know what it was? It was my watch. There we go.

There we go. It very randomly wakes up and starts talking to me, not based on anything that I've said. So if you know that, why are you denying that it could be you? Because it doesn't fervently. Because it doesn't scot. It happens frequently enough that I honestly didn't think it would be.

Don't you think we should be able to change series named to whatever you want? Yes, yes. Like, what? What would you change series? Jonathan. I like that. Hey, yes. What, what would you change series to? Jonathan. I like that. Hey, Jonathan.

Hey, Jonathan. What are you going to say? You have a proper answer. So we're stereo, they cut down the server. So the landlord didn't tell anybody who was going to do this had this entire thing removed.

Oh, and now we can see directly. We can see directly like what you do. Yeah, I know. Wait, you can see into yeah Is it like a story of homes? So rude. Yes, so why don't you plan something by the way the city will plant trees if you maybe there's more to the story I doubt it the city will ask Paul Let's ask him Lauren ask him you ask me. I can't do Paul was there more to the story

I'm glad you asked Lauren. It's a matter of fact there is Do you want to hear it? Awesome. No, so we're very upset about this and I told Janie I will call we to murder first we talked to the neighbors who said yeah, we didn't know he's gonna do that We thought he was just gonna trim it and then he just removed the whole thing uh-huh and um I said I'll call the landlord to find out before we do anything, I'll find out if he has plans to do anything, knowing he doesn't. And he does not think we should.

He's not the type of guy who... If you wanted to not have to trim it for a very long time. Yeah, he is. Well, because the property, one of the properties opened up while we were living there, when I ran neighbors moved away

and we were, and friend of ours was looking for a place. And so we went and looked at it with our friend and it sucked. And he was so proud of himself saying, like, I really fixed it up and it looked like garbage. So I know that this guy is not gonna do anything. He has no pride in ownership this guy. No. And so I call him up and Jamie said,

as Jamie was listening to me on the phone, and later she tells people, I thought he, I thought Paul was gonna go all Philly on this guy and tell him, that's what you're gonna do. How many times do you go Philly on people, and she's like, they're listening. Did you love it?

She does love it. She does love it. She does love it. She does love it. I am a big, this is very, this is such a cliche, but I'm a big, let me talk to the manager guy. Right. So I can be rude to that person and not be rude

to the first person. Right. Right. But the other, who probably has a boss above them, you don't wanna talk to their boss. You know what I'm saying? You wanna talk to the second boss. I wanna talk to the owner of the company.

Right. That's why I wanted to always talk to the high-difficult. But you'll settle for the lowest person's immediate boss. I wanna, I wanna talk to a person that I can, that I can feel okay about yelling at. Right. Because they're paid to get yelled at. Right. Right. Which is not what you yelled about recently. And somebody. There was something it was like, I made this guy admit that their, that their policy was

faulty. That they did not, they did not accurately warn people that there would be a charge on this or that or whatever. And I was like, all I'm asking for you is to say that the way that it's worded is bad. And it doesn't it doesn't indicate that you're going to do this. It wasn't just like fine. Okay. He held out for a really long time. He might be fired for a really long time. And might be fired. He held out for a really long time,

and I eventually was like, yes, it's true. It's not worded well, and we should change that. I'm sure he was like, oh, this fucking asshole. That's like just changes. You know, to deal with people like this. Yeah. Do you have people on the phone, by the way, who recognize you, your name,

or whatever, when you're like complaining about. Is there? No, that's never, not that they've admitted. Yeah, well, I, that's why I feel like I can't even complain about things anymore because like, I get a lot of people on the phone going, wait, is this the Scott Aquaman? And I'm not famous or anything,

but it's like, I think people in those jobs are podcast listeners maybe or would like. So I can't even come, I don't even have the joy of complaining to people anymore. It's not fun. But sometimes it feels worse after, after I know, yeah, being pushy. Well, yeah, but it's, it's like people are, because people are trying to rip you off all the time.

I know. And there's a certain amount of ripping off that I'll put up with. Right. And there's certain things that cost you doing business I'll put up with. And there's certain things where- That's the cause of doing business. It's the cause of the business. Wait, so get back to the tree. Get back to the tree. Tree gut, so I call this, so I call the guy up

and I knew exactly how it was gonna go. This guy is just complaining about his life and how- What's his life like? What's his name? These neighbors they may, I had to do this because they weren't taking care of it and the city comes down on me and the city made me do it and all they have nothing better to do

than just to harass people. It's shit. And it's like, I wanted to take more down but then I ran out of money and I already spent, I'm cleaned out of money. I put all my money in the property. It's all the usual stuff. Yeah, after this guy actually.

Oh, you should. You should. Actually, it's reminding me of somebody on to live in Dynaly. But I think it's so fun is when somebody's interrogating people and you hear them make up things or just get away from the poor interc, have their excuse. It's like little white lies.

Yeah, and then it's like, it doesn't really make sense. This guy, it was like I put a nickel in him and he just went off. And then I was just like, uh huh. I would let him go for a while and then say, so my question was, do you plan to do anything else or you're gonna put anything else there in place of it? And then you would talk more about what problems he has,

what he would like to do if he could, but he can't do it. And I said, well, I think we're gonna go ahead and we're gonna put up a fence. And he was like, yeah, sure, I don't blame you. The privacy, I mean, it doesn And I said, well, I think we're going to go ahead and we're going to put up a fence. Um, and he's like, yeah, sure, you know, I don't blame you. You know, the privacy, I mean, you know, it doesn't bother me, but I don't live there, you know, of course, the bloggers it doesn't. And then he said, then he said, uh, you know, I'm, you know, maybe we could, you know, split the cost of that, you know, depending what it is. Yeah, I was like, I'm never going to see a dime from this guy. Never. And it's like, but that is one of those things where it's like, it's, it's worth it to not try to hassle this guy for money

so I can just get this done. Yeah, and do whatever you want with it. Yes, but you're reminding me of like landlords I've had where they, what I really hate is when somebody comes at you with aggression before you come at them with anything. Like, I hate when, like, I had a landlord come after me for like some damage at my apartment. This was when I first moved to LA and I moved.

What'd you do to it? You filthy monster. Pistol of the fish. But he was really aggressive with, you owe me $200. He was very crazy and I was like, fine. I admit that I did that and that. I like that too. You have to wait for me to deny it. Yes, they skip a step.

They skip a step. Yeah, right. Right, right. Because they've already had the conversation in their head. Yeah, yeah. I remember when... It's a special breed of person. I remember when Kulopp was like six years... It was like six years after her freshman year.

And she was here. You count all the time from that. It's a weirder way to do it, you know? And she was moving out of a place. You count all the time from that. It's a weirder way to do it, you know? And she was moving out of a place. And her landlord was being unreasonable about something. And so I got the job of calling them and trying to fix it, you know? And the thing that I did, which totally made her discombobulated

from the start in uneasy uneasy and like what? I was like, oh, by the, I said, I got her on the phone. I said, by the way, I'm tape recording this call if that's all right. Wow. And she said, oh, yeah, sure. And then it just made her like,

it made her be nice and it made her, her like a group. And you all sing her, be nice. Just be nice, Just be nice. Just be nice. Why talk to you? Be nice for the tape recording. Be nice for the people who listen to this.

Oh my God. Yeah. But yeah, it really works because we got what we wanted. Yeah. Mm hmm. I had one landlord out here where she was like really delighted that I was on orange is the new black. And she really, she thought that was like,

I swear to tell my daughter, as delighted as those people in the subway that time. Yeah, subway is there, which is yeah. She, what, that is what I meant. Yeah, she went on and on about it when I like, you know, when she put it together or whatever. When you were applying for the, no, like I, I, yeah, I don't know, I don't know.

She just like realized it later or something. And so she was really excited. And so then I, like anytime I saw her, she was really nice and we had like nice interactions over text whenever there was something to text about. And then when I moved out, I left behind a broken outlet cover that like had gotten like cracked and fell off behind a bed. Those things are literally.

It's $2. I mean, I'm saying cost about $2, including the work it takes to install a new one. I would say. Yeah, yeah. And she charged me like over $200 for damages in the place. For just like the place. There was like that. She took a picture of it.

It was like cracked. It's like a picture. And normally I'm really good at filling every hole, but for whatever reason, I just didn't have time. And I wasn't doing that. Right. And she was, and my friend was moving into the apartment, so I also was like, it doesn't really matter.

My friend is moving in. Like he doesn't care if there's a nail hole right here. Like this needs to be. How do you know? I just know. He was moving in from upstairs in the same building. Like it was like a whole like, this is convenient for everyone kind of thing.

Right. And she overcharged me so much, and then I just paid it because I was like, I don't want to deal with someone who's insane. Yeah. Well, she thinks you're a rich TV actress as well. That's just, I mean, I was like, I was living in your apartment. I know what you know what I can afford. I'm not an eccentric millionaire. We have this, our guy was when I got the job on best week ever, had to move to New York. And we had only been in this apartment for six months. It was like a little house that we were renting.

This dude was always around, because he used to live there with his wife, who he didn't, we didn't find out was his ex-wife until much later. But he, like when we were meeting him to discuss renting the apartment, he talked about his wife as if they were still together. And then when we found out they were divorced, it was like, that was weird. But he,

he would come around to 10 the grounds because there was like, there was like a little backyard with a lot of greenery and he was just there all the time and Janie hated it. I mean, I was crazy about it either. But Janie didn't like it because he would, it would be scary. Like, she would just be, she'd be alone in the house and then all of a sudden, like see somebody in the back, y'all, it was him. But he, he, at one point, I can't remember what the argument was, but he was pleading with us about something. Please, balls. Please spare me. When we had moved in, there was some wicker furniture on the little patio that we got rid of.

We thought the old tenants had left it behind. Oh, but it was his. He provided that for us. We did not realize that. Oh, it's his. But in his email, like trying to say how much he had done for us. No.

This phrase is in my head all the time. Consider the seti. Oh, consider the seti. Wow. Consider the poor seti. Thank you so much. Oh, please consider the seti. Yeah.

Did I tell you about the dude speaking of like dudes who'd like hang around and Who own places? On due to own places So collab and I rented a place for July 4th. I think three years ago out by by the ocean and had a bunch of our friends there which one and Which one what ocean which I'll Pacific yes, and I pointed to it and one what? Oh, which is what I pointed to it. And it was like Christian, odd is Jay's old place. Like we didn't know that we had Hardy guy. Yeah, we got there. And then suddenly like, he was an old tattoo artist at Hardy was an old tattoo artist. Sing the song. Ed Hardy was an old tattooist from the 50s.

Do the dance. So he had a, they licensed his tattoo tonight. They licensed his tattoos for Ed Hardy stuff and then Christian Audit Jair bought the company. I see. And I only know this because Kool-Up used to be the merch rep. Really?

Yes, for Ed Hardy. Wow, wow. I did not know. She traveled up and down the coasts, getting stores to buy Ed Hardy to make a smile. There was a time when that was really. It was, she quit before it got that popular and she could have made some money. Oh, damn. But so we're at this place.

She should get back into it. We're at this place and then coming back around again. And the Airbnb thing like listed the caretaker guy as like a special feature of like like talk to Fred it'll be fun or whatever you know and we're like oh no we never want to talk to Fred But he certainly pop by quite a lot and then um tall john and I are out by the pool like A couple hours to hop in tall john Yeah, just the three of us just getting weird pool like a couple hours. Cool up and tall john. Yeah, just three of us just getting weird.

And it's 10 years after her freshman year. So it's tall john medium Scott and short cool. All right. Am I medium really? Comparably tall. I'll talk to you. Okay. I guess. So tall john higher in the pool.

This guy just pops by. How long would you say is like okay for a guy to pop by and like talk to you? Zero seconds. Yes. Yeah, but wait, so where does he live? He lives probably on the property in a guest house. Okay, so I would say five minutes max. Three hours he talked to us in the pool.

Oh my god! Go away! And here, he get in the pool? No, he just sat there. That would have been amazing. And in in my mind he's like crouching next to it talking to us while we're in it. I stripped down my box. Weird. And the other part of it that was really weird was he was like, by the way, the TV show

limitless based on the mood, the Bradley Cooper movie was out at the time. He was like, yeah, so I created limitless. And so yeah, that's going pretty well for me. And then we pulled on the thread and we're like, oh, that's so cool. So you wrote the original movies like, well, I wrote a script that they ripped off and turned into Limitless. So things are not going well. So, but I but I'm, I think eventually I'm gonna sue them.

Oh, and so that'll be really good, because it's on the air now and it'll be really good. Hey, good news. I'm like five episodes. Good news, my idea got ripped off, so I can sue those people. I'll be rich soon.

All right, let's take a break. We're back. We're back. Daddy, we're back. We're back. Daddy we're back. I want to make a point about my landlord. Yeah. Cause I the way I told that story, I made it sound as though she liked that I was on a TV show and then she overcharged me. She also that's exactly what sounded like. She turned on me to other times. So I knew not to fight this situation. Wait, how did she turn on you? Well, one time I was late. It was my rent by a day. I'd never been late.

So what, it was the sixth or the second? It was the first, I think, in my checkhead and coming out of the second maybe, but I totally spaced on it for some reason. And then she got so mean and she made me send it same day, even though I knew she didn't, like I knew, first of all, I'm trustworthy. I'm always on time, or early with my rent. And secondly, I knew it wasn't like, she's gonna go under if she doesn't get it now.

You know what I mean? Did she own the place or was she? She did, but she was very not understanding to like any problem that I had. Right. And then we also had something regarding something I was trying to get fixed. My point is, when I got the bill from her,

I was like, I'm not gonna fight this, even though it makes no sense, because I know that she's illogical when she is on her high horse. I wonder if I heard the other side of the story, like if I was listening to this story being told by her, I would be on her side about this. If she's like, she was late with the rent.

Yeah, she's late with the rent. She leaves this cracked plug thing. I mean, look, I get everywhere that I'm bad and everywhere that I'm good, and it's fine. List your bad. I was lazy, but when I was leaving and I was late, my- Wait, you were lazy when you were leaving?

My point is I didn't go around filling every hole and I'm just taking off that plate and replacing it. I would never do that by the way. I don't think I've ever left an apartment in the shape that I got it in. I was just like, fuck it, I'll just love the deposit. I remember the one. I always hold my full deposit back and it pisses me off

and I don't get it because I do every little thing. The one place that I left when I was all alone and my room may move out and I just got a Christmas tree by myself and I just like had a Christmas tree and I just lived alone and I just like left the tree and I was gonna get a party par- That's so crazy. With all the pine needles everywhere. How old are you?

Two, I was like six years after freshman year. So I would do that. I don't know why I never, yeah, I would do that. Christmas tree is nice. I feel like guys, can I make a huge generalization? Yeah, let's go there. They have penises. Well, I feel like that.

But I also feel like they're more likely to go, man, no, but I know a lot of really messy girls. I don't know. That's why that true. I'm saying I'm saying like, I also know a lot of guys. I'm more likely to go like, male, leave it. But there's probably a lot of guys who are like, fuck this. I'm going to make sure everything is all right. Yeah, that's true. I feel like I, yeah, it's just person to person. I'm just.

Every Oscar there's a Felix. I guess I'm just always thinking of all the like improv guys apartments that I've been in for rehearsals. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Like gross name names. No. It's time for a threacher. Send us your threachers by the way, hashtag threachers. T-A-E-E-A-T-U-R-E-S.

Threachers. And here's a threacher that's. E-E-A-T-U-R-E-S-3-T-R-S. 3-T-R-E-E-A-T-U-R-S. And here's a 3-T-R-E-E-A-T-U-R-S. Yes. 3-T-R-S. This comes from Chris Bleak. Like the creature double-feature. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. This comes from Chris Bleak. It's Bleak on Twitter. Now, this is something we... Sad name. This is something we played on Bang Bang nine years ago back in the day, maybe once or twice, but it's a little game called fortunately, unfortunately.

Mm hmm. Have all your players sit in a circle or establish a clear plan? Are we sitting in a circle or a triangle? We're in a circle. A rounded triangle. A round triangle. Great. Our bodies make it round.

A bodies make it round. It's a beautiful song. Then proceed to tell a story with each person saying one sentence at a time. Here's the catch. Each sentence must start with either. Didn't think there'd be a catch. This seems so straightforward. I was so into it.

We're unfortunately always alternating. Yep. So Lauren start us off with just a sentence. It doesn't have to be the first one doesn't have to be fortunately or unfortunately. Oh, it doesn't. I don't think it was just a sentence. Say doesn't have to be, the first one doesn't have to be fortunately or unfortunately. Oh, it doesn't. I don't think it was just a sentence. I'd say anything.

Anything. Anything you want. Like anything that goes into your crazy little head. From the twisted mind of lower lap guests. Fortunately, pitch perfect was on TV. Unfortunately, it was at the very end and the credits started rolling. Fortunately, the credits led me to a name of the woman that I ended up marrying.

Unfortunately, she wasn't in on getting married to me. I married her while she was asleep. Fortunately, when she woke up, she asked me to marry her, not realizing we were already married. Unfortunately, she died the minute that the period of her sentence came out where she said, will you marry me, Mr. Oh, that's great that you said yes, the period at the end of that. Fortunately, because her sentence didn't make any sense, I was arrested. That's fortunate. Where are we? You're done, fortunately. Unfortunately, I remained arrested for a while after that. Fortunately, when I got out, 80 years later,

I found an apple on the street that someone had discarded. It only had one bite in it. Unfortunately, it had two worms in it, and they bit me back. Fortunately, I now have worm powers. Unfortunately, no one cares because what can a worm do except slither around, which is what I do every day? Uh, unfortunately, wait, which one?

You did, I did unfortunately. Fortunately, I thought it was positive. Fortunately, the site of the city has recently included slither lanes. So I have my own way to get around. Unfortunately, a car drove into one of the slither lanes and cut me in half, but I didn't become two of me. I'm still just one guy cut in half. Fortunately, people love the half that is still alive and I'm on the cover of People magazine as the sexiest slitherer alive.

Unfortunately, it's my bottom half. Fortunately, there's a lot of people that are into that, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, not the one that I really want to be into it. Fortunately, Anna Kendrick is still responding to me on Twitter a lot. Unfortunately, she doesn't realize it's me. She thinks it's someone else, someone better.

Fortunately, I'm in pitch perfect for. Unfortunately, it's only going to be played on one channel lifetime. Fortunately, it's the only channel I have. So I get to see the movies as much as I want. Unfortunately, I don't even have a TV. All I have is a cable box. Fortunately, I'm going to go to my neighbor's apartment and watch it.

Unfortunately, that's the end of the game. Great game, thank you. Great game. Great game. It's a feature. It, great game. Thank you. Great game. It's a feature. It's a feature. Great feature. Great feature. Great feature.

All right, Jack Reacher. Oh, we should play Jack Reacher. We should play Jack Reacher next time. What's that? You don't know Jack Reacher? You don't know how to play Jack Reacher? No. I'm saying like Tom Cruise played Jack Reacher. Yeah, he knows how to play Jack Reacher. We should play Jack Reacher? You don't know how to play Jack Reacher? No. I'm saying like Tom Cruise played Jack Reacher.

Yeah, he knows how to play Jack Reacher. He should play Jack Reacher. All right. Are you saying Jack Reacher or Jack Reacher? Jack Reacher. Oh, Jack Reacher. Oh, Jack Reacher. What is the thing?

Apparently in the Jack Reacher novels, he's very tall. He's very tall and his knuckles are often described as being as big as Walnuts. What? So, he found his Twitter like, some guy was posting passages from these books and they're fucking hilarious, but I don't know if they're supposed to be funny or not.

I don't think the thing. Oh my God, no. Wait, Bernie Spears, when you're just, that as big as Walnuts, maybe think of this post she just did. Yeah, there you go. Hi, I'm Bernie Spears and I'm big as Walnuts. I don't think it all funny. It's as big as Walnut's made me think of this post she just did. Yeah, they're. Hi, I'm Britney Spears and I'm biggest Walnut. I don't think it all funny.

It goes in her story, but do they mean big as Polly Walnuts? Yeah. Polly Walnut. Well, if someone said that to Polly Walnuts, every soprano scene, Polly Walnut, what if every soprano scene with him starts right after someone has just said that to him? And he's like, shut the fuck up. Anyway, Tony, you think I have a right that one? I don't know, tone.

So now, go rewatch the sopranos. And anytime he comes on screen, imagine that someone just said that to him. Did you just go for it, fuck it, say to me? Paul, I want to want. So Bernie Spears was clapping back at the paparazzi because she claims, she believes there's a conspiracy that they edit the photos

and whatever. So they made her look like she had gained weight but then she was showing her body and she was like, I'm skinny as a needle. But she was saying like, that was a needle? Well, she said needle but she was like, as you can see, I'm skinny as a needle. Cool. I just loved it. It was just strange. I love it too. All right. Well, we're done. A girl with new hair. What am I going to do? I just got. Why are you two? Is this show just become you looking up things on Twitter? They're just playing it. I don't care what the show has become. All right. And if you have a problem with it. I don't care what the show has become. All right.

And if you have a problem with it. I do have a problem with it, Lauren. That's never someone who cares. Lord Michaels. Don't call me, am I giving a name? Get back here with my shirt. Get back with my name. All right, we'll see you next time, bye. You