Threedom - What It Means Chuzzy

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

Scott, Paul, and Lauren discuss AI images, vomiting, and Gen Z slang before answering listener voicemails. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gosh, every day feels a little bit different, doesn't it? Well, the days have, they have different names. Well, some days it's about focus, others it's about movement. Oh, I see what you mean. Sometimes it's just about turning the volume up and escaping, huh? Yeah. I mean, sometimes I'm in a mood where I want to just be rocking out and be like, oh, I'm so excited. I love just aggressive music and I want to listen to music that has loud drums.

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I got the sage. I got the mauve. Wow, we're also different. Fun. So we will always be able to find ours. Yes. Yeah. In a crowd, if we're at Disneyland.

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I'll see you in your dreams. That was bad. That was bad. You'd think we'd have the hang of it around. That was like we were in different states. Yeah. On Zoom. Freedom. Hey, that was, who were those people?

I don't know. Was that us? Honestly, they didn't sound like it. Or they started like us younger. Yeah. We had more energy. It sounded like us in our 20s. When did we start doing this?

2016? It's been a while. Let's not talk about years. Let's not getting that. 1492, for instance. Oh, my God. When Columbus sailed the ocean blue? That's right.

With the, in the Nina Pinta and Santa Maria? Or is that him? Isn't that messed up? We know. We know. That's Santa? We know the names of his ships so intimately. We love him so much.

We know the names of weeks. But not all of the terrible things. I feel like those ships are not of my business. Yeah, they are. Honestly, why should I know the name? Yeah, so intimately. So intimately, I know them all so well. I probably drew a picture of them growing up.

You probably did. I'm sure I did. Yeah. What they look like? You know what? Brown. Ship-shaped. Ship-shaped brown.

Why are ships brown? You know what I mean? Great question. Why is wood brown. It's like, later questions. Why are trees brown. Let's make them blue so that they... No one can see them in the ocean.

And like whales can't attack them and sharks can't attack them. Did you watch a certain movie recently? No. What movie? Where oceans are battlefields? Oh, no, no. Okay. I'm waiting for you.

What's that? All right. When you were talking about ship camouflage, I thought you were... Is this a part of it? I don't want any information. Can we get into what you just said right before we started? That prompted us to jump right into the record. Yes, folks.

This is three to my name is Paul. My name is Scott. I'm Lauren. And we were talking, look, we, we warm up a little bit. First of all, we're human beings. Well, we like to catch up a little. And we catch up a little bit, okay? Privately.

Then we know it's time to start recording when we start making fun of each other. And so that's what happened. And so I recently saw. I know, honey. I'm just saying. I know. Now we're making fun of you. God.

Okay. Wait. Are you? Yeah. Oh, my God. Why? Look at her. I'm not making fun of me.

I can't take this I can't take that I made fun of your shirt you did but after Paul said I looked nice so you couldn't handle that I had that I had a moment You got jealous I had to equalize a positive comment

You got to by the way equalized I've seen all three equalized movies now Thank you saw three and three days Great update Thank you I saw a photograph on social media

of the legendary actor John Nicholson Was it Well I'm not his friend Was it a moving photograph Of him going Yeah No I have to see that moving photograph though

Where he's nodding very excitedly And it's something I can't see But it's usually the comment right above Oh I never thought to connect the two Yeah Yes Yes yes yes So in this photograph

Which is a still frame He is holding what looks to be a little cake. Well, you said he's not, you said, well you let me, Lauren. Lauren. Go for it.

You know this is not how this show works. Go for it. You, I'm not even, we went over the rules of this show before we started. I'm not even stopping you. I'm just talking. I'm trying. You see how that works?

I'm just talking. Yeah. And that's not stopping you because this is three of them. This is like my daughter when I say, don't kick the back of the seat. And she goes, I'm just putting my foot on. it repeatedly. Over and over. Don't try to catch me in semantics.

Kids love to kick the back of seats. They fucking love it. What is it about seats? Yeah. I don't know. I kind of get it. Seats are oppressive. Oh man.

If I ever see a seat, I'm just walking by, boom. Yeah. When I get on a plane, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's why I write on my shoes. This machine kick seats. What? I said, where do you think she gets it from, Scott? Yeah.

Where do you think she gets it from Scott? You'd kill us if you had the chance. This would have been nice to know yesterday. So, but to be fair, it's not just that we talk over each other. It's that you were cutting off this story. I'm trying to fill time for content purposes. I wanted to be flowery and beautiful and I want you to tell it how you want to tell it. It seemed the opposite of that.

It seemed like you wanted to cut him off and get to the point. Now I want that. Now I want that. You didn't know what you got until it was gone. Exactly. Now I want that. You want to unpaved paradise. Doody dody dodo.

It's a song by Hodor. Just like that original Woodstock performance. Was that great when we found out. It was short for Hold the Door. That made me. I almost smash my television. Paul smash. So he's holding what appears to be a little cake.

He's looking at the camera. He's next to someone who could. be his granddaughter or his wife. And he has a big smile on his face. No, it's still not that one. It's still doing the thing. And there are condals on this cake. The kind you might find on a birthday cake,

ink. But these candles, they're in the shape of numbers. Yes, it can be done. Okay. So they somehow fashioned and twisted these candles. candles into the shapes of numbers when wax is in its malleable state maybe they used like a form mold like they filled out some forms the thing about candles is so much paperwork that's why don't make them anymore that's why you just you buy them once and you just only light them for two seconds at a time

yeah hopefully there's auto renew on the paperwork every year but yeah eventually it goes out i love auto renew he's great automatic renewal The numbers depicted nine and zero in that order, leading me to believe that Jack Nicholson was 90 years old. Now, I mentioned that because somehow Jack Nicholson's name came up and I said, he's 90 years old. And then someone, I'm not pointing any fingers. You're not pointing any number shaped candles. Somebody shrieked at me. No, he's not.

Start rolling the tape. Is that person in this room right now? Yes, I am. I did do that. And I stand by the shriek because, because. Thank you for accepting my turn. A couple days ago, and that dates this episode, certainly, every guy on Earth was posting that Jack Nicholson was 90. And they posted that picture of him with his 90th birthday cake.

And then my friend, Detective Mariah Smith, posted, this is an AI image. She Googled his age. He's 88. The case, first of all, he's not even 90. What part of it is AI? Him? The whole thing. His hand under the cake is like a smush pie because, you know, they can't do hands yet.

Right. It looked like a big clump. His hand looks like a clump. Which one? The clums. Oh, okay. No. Not the one who says her.

C-L. Hercules. It basically was like that. And the woman next. Of course, we don't know who that is because it's probably not a real person. Was the cake part of the hand? Like, it was growing out of the palm of the hand. And he's not 90.

So I thought, aren't we in a time? And then cut to yesterday, just a couple days after that, Will Smith is under fire. Don't tell me he's not real. Well, he is real. But he did a concert, apparently, with his new album. Yes. And the video of the crowd going absolutely crazy for him is completely AI. and it's the most obvious thing

and everyone's dissect the second he posted it everyone's commenting that's so fake all the people everyone's holding a sign that says like getting jiggy with it cured my cancer like it's literally like the signs in the audience are crazy how we're getting jiggy with it cure one's cancer well that was the first clue yeah honestly a lot of doctors got on board

and then a lot of it's him from behind being right up in the audience and they're all smiling and like bouncing by him like no one's screaming touching him the sound yeah we're doing It doesn't seem real. No one's holding up their phones. Yeah, right.

There's no phones. And then, like, people are all the, when you, when you screenshot, everyone's face is like a melting smush. And they all look really weird. And, like, it's just bizarre. I loved it. And I loved it. No, I didn't finish. And I loved it.

And I created it. Yeah. I did not know about the Will Smith one. And the thing that really is so depressing about being taken in. by an AI image. Like you were with this ridiculous Jack Nicholson birthday. And as was every man. Which I looked at for like

1.5 seconds. Exactly. Everyone put in their stories and went, oh, he's 90. So somebody made this fucking thing to age Jack Nicholson two years? Why? Why would someone make this? And now a small town in the middle of America

can't have electricity. Yeah. Because you needed that. Is it, is it, is it, is it, What is the purpose of it? Is it, are, are they just trying to get us so used to this shit? I think so. That we just cannot. But I mean, is it so that we don't trust anything we see? Or is that we, uh, no, everyone, I think we're all believing it very, uh, immediately

and then going, hold on, but like, but there's, I think it's like, we're in a really bad moment because everyone, and I mean, I don't, not everyone, because I've never used chat GPC. I don't know how to access it and I don't want to access it. I think it costs money, doesn't it? I don't, I think, I think it, I have to say that's why I won't use it. But regardless, people are using it and giving it so much information using their own photos, this, and I have, I have friends who love it and I don't, and we have long discussions. I'm like, I don't understand how, and like, I have a friend who uses it to write work emails or, like, posts. And I'm just like, that's hard to, that's hard for me because I just.

The one thing I will do is in Google, uh, mail, Gmail, people know it by. Oh, okay. Google Plexmail. Yes. Yeah. It'll suggest a response to certain emails. Sometimes I'll click on that shit. Well, it'll say sounds good.

Sometimes I'll take a screenshot of all three and I'll send it to the person saying all of these apply. I don't mind that. That's not really, I mean, is that AI or is that just? I think it's, I guess it must be kind of reading the email and assuming it knows what you want to say. Like I had to return a couple of things to, no, actually, someone stole. Amazon packages from our doorstep the other day. That's hard. Well, I didn't ask Amazon to deliver something at fucking four in the morning.

They've started doing these overnight deliveries and they don't give you a choice. Sometimes I think it's scary how fast you can get stuff. I don't want it that fast. They don't give you a choice. They just say, hey, this is coming between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. I don't want people to be working that shift. Yeah, I don't want people. Well, you know, if people need jobs, it's great.

Well, of course, if you need a job, but I'm saying I find it that, They're doing too much. I've seen there's many choices when you check out. Sometimes you can click two to four. There's many airlines you can fly with. We thank you for flying this one. So you picked 4 a.m. No, I didn't pick it.

They just say, hey, it's coming between these hours. And I'm like, no, I live in the city. And of course, if somebody needs a graveyard shift, I'm not going to take that from them just to backtrack what I said. So nobody can come for me. They delivered it at 5 a.m. And of course, someone steals it off the stoop. Great.

And so anyway, I had to return it recently, and there's no way to, or not return it. And you weren't able to use your dildo that same day, which you were hoping for. Yes, exactly. It was double-sided. Yeah, you needed it. And I only had a one-sided one. And then suddenly it was gone. But what I'm trying to say is there's no way to communicate with Amazon other than with a robot.

That's true. I have talked to a real person one time when I had groceries delivered and a bunch of, well, that's debatable. Some of this stuff was missing. And I eventually was on the phone with a real person. person going item by item. I didn't get the bananas, but I did get the eggs. You know, and I'm saying like, da-da-da-da-da-da. How many eggs did you get? Yeah. That's what she sounded like. But I'm just, I think it's scary because we're giving them all the information that they need to continue to do this. And then soon enough, I mean, you see some people, like some creative people

or people who are in charge of things saying like how it's going to be beneficial to entertainment. And I find that troubling. I absolutely find that troubling. And I have not yet seen the application It's just a tool, Paul, much like a semi-automatic weapon. Just a tool. I just want people to be able to do the job of like, if it's CGI or something, I want a person to make the art. Yeah. I also want people to be able to understand that it benefits you to be able to write something by yourself. If it's a note or something.

Absolutely. You know, a thank you note, a condolence. note, whatever. It's so much better. We have talked about this on this show. We have talked about this because we figure out how to do that yourself. And we need to keep doing that. And we can move on. We can be fun. Yeah, yeah. We have talked about this. When people, because I have

had people ask me about writing, because I honestly, I think I'm pretty good at writing notes for, for occasions. You're bad at writing texts. I'll tell you that much. Hey, you haven't responded to my last one. Because I knew I was going to see you in person, dear. And did you tap him and say, Uh-huh.

No, it was a question. Okay. And didn't get many options. It was more than. I had to make them on myself. Um, I, I feel like the, it's always what, think about what is, what is in your heart to say. Think about what it is that you are feeling and try to put that into words. And, and if, if you, if you're concerned about it, keep it succinct and keep it succeed, since, sexier.

Cheers. I will occasionally, I think, please forget us. Forgive us if we're, please forget us. Please forget us. Please forget us. Please forget us. Please forget us. Please forget us. But I will occasionally look up an example of so. Like if I, like, for instance, oh, I'm speaking at a funeral. I'm the person of honor at this funeral. I just got booked to speak at a funeral. I will look up an example of what people say, you know, online or something like that. Some of the great orators. And go like, oh, yeah, you want to hear. You want to hear. it's something like this, but you're not like cutting and pacing what they said. You're just going, oh, that inspires me to, or like your vows in your wedding or whatever. At your dad's funeral, didn't you get up and say friends, Romans, countrymen? Let me your rears. Well, that's funny. It was funny. It broke the ice.

It was funny. It was funny. It broke the ice. People were like, we're so glad we can finally laugh again. And it turned into a big roast. But, oh, by the way, yeah. Please don't let my funeral become a roast. a roast of you or a roast of other people

Oh, other people's fine Okay, good So that's what it would be We're going to have a roast We're like that guy You know that guy You know that guy Does that guy

Does that for us He's going to get up And he's going to get up And he's going to kind of You know T me up to insult Natasha Loggero And so forth Would you be upset if no one mentioned

You at your own funeral I guess I would If I'm somewhere looking down or up and I can see that. Well, Paul said he didn't want to be roasted so we're not going to say anything about him today.

We're only going to roast. He said he didn't want anyone talking about him at his own funeral. I'm going to say you could tell funny stories. Okay. But don't make it into a like, here's another dumb-ass fucking thing you do. All right.

Well, I'm just checking. I'm trying to think of any dumb-ass thing you've ever done. But shut it down when other people start doing it. Okay. Nope, stop, stop. Paul didn't want this.

Paul didn't want this. I want to run and attack. Make it like parliament. We were just like, we're going to start making noises. Remember when that guy banged a shoe on the table and everyone was like, Oh, what happens me? That guy, Nikita Khrushchev? Yeah.

Remember that? A little respect. And everyone was like, no one has ever banged a shoe on anything before. And it was a huge headline. We still remember it to this day. It is crazy. What? That a world leader took his fucking shoe off started banging it on the table?

I think it's fine. Give him a gavel. You remember when George Bush threw up? The one thing I get, oh, not that George Bush. Oh, when did he throw up? George H.W. Bush threw up on the Japanese prime minister. I'm sorry, that's amazing. And he had chunks all over his face.

Ew, no way. It was like that. He projected him. The video is pretty funny. Okay. But George W. Bush got the shoes thrown at him. Yes. And the one thing you have to give it up for George W. Bush, he dodged that fucking

shoe. I remember that. Like a pro. When the first one got thrown and he dodged it and then he came back up and he was smiling, that was, that was a baller. Yeah. Cool. That dude ruled. Cool.

You know what? I'm reevaluating. Very important. Starting there going down. He was actually great. Well, now we won't remember anything weird because so much weird stuff happens every day. Yeah. Like, where were you when whatever happened last week?

No thanks. Don't remember. I have no idea. I was probably doing this. I was probably doing this talking into my microphone. Probably watching George Bush throw up. Oh, do you got it? Yeah, I got it.

For the millionth time. Yeah. What if I just threw up watching it? And then you threw up in it. It's very watchable throw up. Oh, no. He doesn't look well at all. Oh, God.

That's actually... It looks like he's sucking his dick. Okay. First of all, no one doesn't. I mean, throwing up is the opposite of sucking his own dick, isn't it? The music. Wait. I've never seen it with awkward.

He was like, he's falling down as it's happening. He's not, that's, that's a very inactive vomit. It's very much like I'm passing out and vomiting. Yeah. It looked crazy. Do you think he kind of was going like better to act like I have no control and I'm falling down than to have to say I'm so sorry about that. I'm so sorry I'm going to throw up. Yeah.

You know, that's worse than being like, oh. I would be like, hey man, cover for me. It was like, barf, like, fell out of his mouth while he leaned over. Yeah. He spit up like a baby. Yeah. Yeah. It's cute.

It was actually like a baby. It's funny when babies spit up. Yeah. Like, that's a big deal, man. You're acting like nothing happened. Yeah. But they just go like that. Emmy puked at her first haircut.

Did I tell you about this? Oh, stress induced. No. There was some... She was hungover. Yeah. There was some sort of accident on the freeway, which backed up traffic for hours and hours and hours. And I put in the address because we'd never been to this place.

We went to a place that specializes in first haircuts. It has like they sit in miniature cars, yeah, airplanes and stuff like that. And it has all this balloons and they take a picture, all this kind of stuff. So I'd never been to this place. And so I entered the... You've never been there. Well, I hope not. Just hanging around outside.

I mean, I've been in a few times. One child's haircut, please. I like to ride in the car. No, it's for me. I just want to pay the child prices. then you may give me a child's haircut. And I'll have the picture at the end, please. So I put the address into the map.

Jesus. I don't even know. And it had me going this really weird way, like over the hill and through the woods. To grandmother's house, you went? I know. It was crazy. But so if you know L.A. going over the hill into the valley is like... Oh, I know L.A., babe.

Very twisty and windy road. But you get a little bit closer. And get a little bit closer. So I was like, at first, at first cool up was like, just get on the freeway. And I was like, I think it's, must be telling me this for a reason. And then when we passed the freeway and it was back for miles and miles and miles and then I read the news stories later about how it was, there was some sort of industrial spill on it that no one can. Ninja turtles are going to be boring.

Yeah. It's going to be boring. Ninja turtles are going to be boring? Lauren's going to want to have sex with one of them. Only Michelangelo. He's a party dude. He was a party dude. Every girl wants that one.

So we went over the hill and we're so glad we did. We got there on time. But Emmy was like in a weird sort of not talking a lot. And she did this whole haircut. And we're trying to get pictures going, hey, honey, look. And she wouldn't smile. She's just like holding up the balloon and not smiling. And she gets this haircut.

An amazing photo. I would like to see that. Yes. there's a group i'll show you a different photo that's so funny um but um so then they take the photo that they're putting into the frame and all that and she immediately just projectile moments onto me oh my god from the winding trip from the winding yeah we think it's car sickness and they were so nice about it they all cleaned it up and they were like we have we we deal with kids every day every child throws up here we've seen we see stuff like this all

the time this place is a nightmare don't worry about it we're demons but i had vomit all And we had plans to go to lunch after and I have all over myself. No. You can't go to lunch like that. An immediate home trip. Yes. We must get home right now. But that's cute.

It was cute. Anyway, so the picture is very funny because she has a weird look on her face. And she is seconds away from throwing up. So am I. Yeah. We have a second place. Oh, okay.

All right. Bye. The origins of this podcast were, once just a dream. Remember that day? Yeah. I had a weird dream last night. What was it?

Paul, are you talking? Take up you guys. I had a nightmare. Oh no. That happened. We started a podcast. Oh, no. Go back to sleep, honey.

That'll never happen. That dream turned into the podcast and business you're listening to today. Taking your business to the next level is a dream. Lots of us share, but too often it remains just a dream. We hold ourselves back thinking, what if I don't have the skills? What if I can't do it alone? Turn those what-ifs into why-nots and help your business soar with Shopify.

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Endless aisle, shipped to consumer and customers. customer buy online pickup in store all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close that sale every single time Lauren anyone else want to have anything they want to add yeah I do want to say a little something about that because let's face it acquiring new customers is expensive with Shopify POS you can keep shoppers coming back to sale personalized experiences and first-party data that gives marketing teams a competitive edge. In fact, it's proven. Based on a report from EY, businesses on Shopify POS see real results. Like 22% better, total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed. Turn those what-ifs into why nots and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.

come slash freedom go to shopify.com slash freedom shopify.com slash freedom hey yeah paul what's up yeah can we do some real talk right now yeah bro look let's let's get down to brass tacks thank you yeah let's let's go let's go out on the deck okay oh here we are oh it's beautiful out here fresh air oh listen to those birds it's just one bird that's one bird yeah it's a crazy That's a talkative bird. Yeah. Wow. Well, he's trying to find other birds.

He flew away. Wow. Too bad. I guess he found those other birds he was trying to find. Good for him. Oh, it's back. That's a little loud. It's a little overpowering, I have to say.

I just, you know those mornings when the day just explodes into a million things and you barely have time to think about lunch, let alone cook? Do you or don't you? It's a simple question. Well, I used to grab whatever was fast, which usually meant sacrificing flavor for health or health for flavor. It's a devil's bargain. Yeah. Can I say, Paul, I want to back up.

Whether you live to eat or eat to live, let cook unity fuel your day with fresh flavors crafted by renowned chefs. Their ever-expanding menu of over 300 small-batch meals are tailored to your lifestyle dietary needs and cravings, right, Lauren? Lauren came to visit me. Well, I just wanted to say that with Cook Unity, there's no cooking, there's no shopping, or thinking about how to get the nutrition you need every week. Just cooking quality meals takes time, but it doesn't have to be your time.

No cleanup or meal planning. Meals are fully delivered, cooked. Yeah, all you got to do is just fully delivered cooked. They're delivered. Not delivered fully cooked, they're fully delivered cooked. All you have to do is reheat them and is in as, as well, little as five minutes. Huge variety of options, fresh ingredients to choose

from. Menus are updated weekly. New chefs are always joining the team, so meals will never be boring or repetitive. Every meal delivery comes in sustainable packaging with the option to return the delivery bag. Paul, what was one of your favorite meals? Well, if I had to choose a favorite

meals can't hear me, right? No, they can't get their feelings hurt. Okay. You know, I mean, you were telling me the other day. I'll tell you exactly what one of my favorite meal is. Chilled ramen noodle salad. And that comes from chef Esther Choi. Oh, that was delicious. I had that too. And here's why it's so great. Every ingredient is handpicked and the flavors are bold, fresh, and perfectly balanced. Like

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free! It's back to school season. School season, little boys and girls. But you know what's not on the syllabus this year? Tell me. Getting schooled by your old wireless bill. I agree. That's why I made the switch to Mint Mobile.

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Taxes and fees extra cement mobile for details. And GB stands for gigabytes. And we're back. Shammam. Shandra back. Shamm. Sham on. Sham on, everyone. Sham on?

I'm Michael Jackson. Sham on. If he had remade the karate kid with himself in the Miyagi role, would he have been like, sham off? Yeah, of course. What a ridiculous question. Of course he would have. Sham, sham, sham, sham on. Sham on.

Sham on. Shab, sham, shab on. Shamm on. Shamm on. Shamm on. Oh, no. Shab, shams, shams, sham on. What's this book over here? Are you in it?

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Just asking. Fair enough. I don't want to talk about it more either. I just want to know if you were in it. It's by the way. For the listener, it's the dictionary and Scott's pictures under stupid. And only because our novelty dictionary website doesn't work anymore. We've got to talk about it. No, we don't. No, we got it. We owe it to people. Okay. Hadclaims8.com, the famous website. So famous. Okay.

So it started out as just a place you could leave voicemails. And it was fine. And everyone loved it. And everyone loved it. It was the most famous website in the world. Yes. And then it became a lot of things. We had a phone plan.

We had a phone, a physical phone you could buy. You could get access to all the apps on our phones. What else? I feel like we really built it up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There was definitely the, you could only, access the phone why you were driving. Sorry, I'm correcting this person who

grooms my dog. Oh, you're correcting them? Because they have this system where they just change the date to whatever they want it to be. And then I'm like, I thought we said this day. And then they're like, no, we have you set for this day because that's the day that works for us. And I said, I just sent a screenshot saying, you said this day. I just want you to know you said this day. Yeah. It's also not how business works. Yeah. By the way, I know we agreed, but now I'm doing it whenever I want. That works better for me.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm glad. You know what, Lauren? I'm glad you're doing this. I am too. That is such an egregious error on their part that I'm glad you're doing it in the middle of the show. You know what though?

It's every time. It's every time. They just change it to whatever they want. Or they'll just set a date and go, here's your appointment. Is that cool? I go, no. Because I also have a life. I don't just care.

I just don't want when my dog's ass is getting to go with my two friends. and talking to a microphone. Okay, back to what you were talking about. Please. Hold on a second. I do want to say this. Yeah. I'm not upset that you were on the phone while we were talking.

Thank you. I can't remember what I was talking about. But I'm upset that you won't let us in on the problems that you're having. You know what? Because we're in your corner. I'm happy to share them with you. Please. We're your corner men.

So I'm this close to telling these people that it's no war. No deal. Tell them that Scott and Paul want a word. with them. It's just every time. It's just every time. I'll cue tip my own dog's asshole. Thank you very much. You know what? I will. I'll get right up in there. And I'll tell you what. It'll be expressed. Express. Is Franny a kind of dog that needs that? Oh, every dog. No, every one. She doesn't need it often. Only every once in a while she needs that. Yeah. Or at least the dogs I've had,

every time you take them into the groomer, they give you a little report card. Do you get that? No. Oh, yeah. You get a little report card and they're always like, anal glands expressed. Move to the top of the hive. In any case, hackclaims8.com. It was also a novelty dictionary website where you could...

That was my favorite part. Where you could basically you'd say like, oh, did you know your pictures in the dictionary on dictionary, on hadclaims8.com, the dictionary part of it. Then you would upload that person's picture to our novelty dictionary website.

You know what's crazy? I didn't even fully realize. I mean, I did at the time, but then I forgot that that's what you guys were talking about while I was taking my phone. So I knew that it was safe. Yes. Oh, it's very safe. It was safe.

All of your data is protected by us. I knew it was safe. Yeah. You knew that you could just check out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm back, but, you know, I went through a little bit of something.

Back in the New York rules. So anyway, the website is having issues. We're struggling with that. Don't try to hurry this. We have someone working on it. Do you have some place you have to be? I'm just saying if they liked how I sent a screenshot back of what they told me before. Right, but why are you trying to hurry this bit of business along?

Did you send the screenshot and then question mark? What I did was I said, I said, what they did was they wrote, your appointment is set for August date. Now that's a date that's already passed. So I said, sorry. Is it still set for September 11th? And then they said, we have you set for September 8th since that's the day that, that da, da. And I go, well, here's a screenshot where you asked me if 9-11 works for me. And I said, yes.

This is damning information. But I said I can make September 8th. Oh, you're already backing it down. If it's first thing in the morning, because they love to go, how about 2 p.m. We'll show up whenever. Yeah. And that's not going to be like that. You should absolutely screencap them saying, does 9-11 work for you?

And ruin them. And then say, I'm sending this to. 9-11 doesn't work for me. This is the most insensitive thing that's ever been sent to me. It's very, very much doesn't work for me. Yeah, it turns out it didn't work for me at all. Thank you. And it didn't work out for this great nation of ours.

That's so funny. Hey, thank you. Not that. Oh. In any case, really thought I was on that. Well, not that. Nevertheless, had claims eight is not. Persisted.

It was not persisted. Nevertheless, it persisted. But Lauren did hire someone to work on it. I did. Who did you hire, by the way? So he's this little nerd. He's like, he's... His name is small balls.

Is that correct? He's small balls. He's young. How young? He's 22. Okay. He's Gen Z. He's really opinionated, but takes a note.

Okay. So he's got... Basically, my point is the website might become very Gen Z. And it might have a lot more Gen Z slang in our... dictionary. Oh, okay. But when I tell him, you know, to fix other things, he's very, he's very receptive to that. So what's some of the slang? He's cutting out a lot of the waste in Hayclaims 8.com. Some of the slang that I've seen, I'll just scroll through what he sent me in our recent text. Um, sexy sex. Sexy sex. Oh, yeah. Okay. So people can,

Gen Z's favorite number. People can upload their friend's picture to sexy sex. And say, did you know your pictures in the dictionary and then look up sexy sex and your picture would be there. But you have to, because when we're only going to trouble, you have to get your friend's permission. So it kind of... Yes. It hurts the pack a little bit. They have to sign a release. They have to sign a release. It explicitly states

what it is. Yeah. It's going to be used for. And it's not in fine print. It's in large, large print. But then if you are doing this, if you're instituting instituting... Insist, ins, ins, ins, ins, ins, ins, are helping you. Insin, insin, insin,

If you're initiating this. Thank you. I didn't even know what word. You are still required to then ask the person after it's all done. Hey, did you know that your picture's in the dictionary? Oh, yeah, because you have to see it through. Yes. What's the point in putting the picture there if someone's not going to be burned?

We don't want to waste all the valuable resources of uploading this picture by hand, by the way, which is the way we have to do it. Yes. Now, another word that he is open up the laptop. Is chuzzie. Chuzzy. I'll give you three definitions and you guess what one. Love this. Love this. It means Chuzzy. Chuzzy means.

What it means Chuzzy. What it means Chazy. Chazy is good, can mean A, good art. Good art. Okay. B, tired. Okay. C.

Or C. A thing of the past. Okay. Are you crazy? It's kind of mean good art. Yeah. Good art, Chuzzy? So like if you look at the year and go, that's chuzzie.

Oh, that's good art. Or I could be like, I saw. That has a quality. I saw, um, weapons. It was chuzzy. Yeah. Yeah. You hear a lot of these ones like that is, oh, this is my chuzzie.

No. It's a descriptor. It's a descriptor. It has the qualities of good art. I see. Okay. Yeah. It's a noun and a verb kind of.

And a adjective. Magidiv. It's not really a verb. It's not a verb at all. I'd like to chuzz. Chuzzy at some point. Hey, I'll chuzzie.

Oh, chuzz is a different word. No, chuzz. You just said the most horrible thing. Do you want to know the three options for chuzz? Okay, sure. But fuck. Okay. A.

B, break your hand through a window and then fist. Okay. Or C. put your hand in the oil tank or the gas tank of your car and then give someone a wet willie I think butt fuck yeah

you got it you got it yeah you got it yeah you got it you got it so don't say chuzz unless you mean chuzz you don't say chuzzie if you mean chuzzy I'm sorry I do not want to chuzz you thank you I want to chuzzie you no that's even worse it doesn't work like that Did you get a response, Lauren? Nope, I did not.

So there's a sad story about small balls. There's a scramble at the dog place. Small balls gotten beaten up by a dog. Oh. He got in a fist fight with a dog and the dog won. That's too bad. Yeah. That's good, though.

We don't want a dog to be injured. No, of course not. Oh, my God. Of course not. But it's kind of humiliating for small balls. It's not good. No. Do you think he took a dive?

Like he was paid off? Yeah. And do you know why small balls is called small balls? Why? He wears small ball earrings in his ear. Oh, not hoops? No. No.

He's got a hoop in his tongue. Oh. Yeah. It gets snagged on everything. And honestly, he prefers to talk through Google Translate. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's just English to English.

It's just that he types what he wants to say and it says it out loud. But he only, but he does use Google Translate as opposed to just doing like, you know, text voice or whatever. Gugu Translate. Google Translate. I used Gugu Translate in Japan when we had a lay over there. That lasted 14 hours, I believe, and we were in the lounge, the entire 14 hours, just like on our phones.

It was the day after the 2016 election. And the lounge was playing the same song over and over. And I shazammed it, and it was not a song I'd ever heard of or have heard of since or whatever. And I was just like, why the fuck would they be playing this song over and over? And after eight to ten hours, I put in Google Translate, do you know that this song is being played over and over again? I'm sorry, after eight to ten hours? Yes. And then what did they say? I think an hour would have been enough for me to say. I've heard the song a lot. Yeah. It became comical after a bit where I was just singing along with it. You know,

wasn't a Japanese song? No. It was an English song. And so I put this. that into Google Translate. It's harder to ignore. Yeah. I put it into Google Translate and I walked up to the front desk and I showed it to the woman behind the desk and she went, ha ha ha ha ha. And nodded her head and didn't like take back Google Translate and respond like, oh yes, we've noticed this. There's a problem with it. It was her song. Maybe. It was her demo. Yeah. Her demonstration tape. Pretty good, actually. I gave her a record deal. Do you remember how the song went? No, I did. This is so long ago at this point, it's nine years ago. but as long as we've been doing freedom.

So as long as you heard for 10 hours, you don't remember how it was. We haven't been doing freedom for nine years. When was our first episode? 2018, I think 2018. Okay. I'll take your word for it. I think it was 2018. Hey, I'm not going to argue with you.

I think it was 2018. It was March 28, 2018. And that's why I think that. Wow. That's wild. That's really cool. Oh, but you know what? We did start recording in 2016.

We banked a few years of episodes. Yeah, probably four or five years before we ever. We really wanted to get to know these stories we were going to tell over and over again. We'd also just met. Yeah. So I think it was like, let's try to get to know each other. What are your names? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely Wapner. How quaint the ideas in that movie are now. Isn't it funny? I can't imagine watching that movie now. I know. I bet it would be like really cringy.

Yeah. I'll watch you. it tonight. We're talking about Rayman, guys. I'll watch it tonight. You watch it tonight? No, you know what I want to rewatch, which just came up on something else I was listening to. Reality Bites, which I enjoyed, but I'm like, I want to watch that now. I was not into it when it came out. I remember not being into it when it came out too. I think because

they also, it was supposed to be, like, the marketing around it was like, this is about your generation, you. And I also didn't like Ethan Hawke's character in it. I thought he was too cool. I didn't either. He really annoyed the shit out of me. And the fact that she ended up with him other than Ben Stiller, who I found very fun. funny, but he's the director. He sold out his character and he made himself, like, too annoying. I was like, no, you're the only interesting person in this.

In any, I'm sorry. No, no, Scott has seen. It doesn't bother me. I'm just trying to redirect the conversation. It doesn't bother me. Or what did you say in any case? I have noticed that Scott has been saying in any case a lot. Yeah.

Well, just because I'm trying to focus what we're talking about and change the subject. So why don't you say to focus us? why have we ever worried about changing the subject on this podcast? I know, because also there's nothing wrong with what we were just saying. We're talking about a movie from 35 years ago. I mean, we're trying to get into smooth transitions now, this late of the game. I think it's only 30 years ago. 30.

30. That's crazy. 905, 96. Yeah. Yeah. As an old man. I'm almost dead. You are.

I'm almost dead. You know, it's weird. closer to death than you are. to birth. Yeah. But you guys... Unless you want to be born again. It's weird because it's like you might feel that way, but then like you might live till

you're 99. And like that's a long time. I'd like to keep going. Still a long time. I'd like to keep going. It's a long time. Yeah. I want to.

But it's not up to me. It's up to that. I'm holding a gun up to you. It's up to my friend Peter Thiel who is going to inject me with a bunch of shit. I'm going to get some young blood put in me. That's a good idea. Yeah, Youngblood. Adrenachrome, the like.

Adrenachrome, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do do do, the thing about adrenachrome, as I call it. Yeah. It is delicious. That's the thing is. Oh, you drink it instead of injecting. Oh, yeah. Yes, I love it. If it didn't taste so good, I would probably pass on it.

Yes. I would be like. On moral grounds. I don't want to be taking the love. Who's offering that to you? They all they're Hollywood celebrities. George Soros. Other L.A. Libtards.

All right, we have to take a break. In any case. You say it now. In any case. Bye. Great. Cooler temps are rolling in. Do da, do da, do da.

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for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. So that's great. How do you spell it? I was good. I was going to say the 365 day returns is amazing because if you're like me, sometimes you forget to return something. Yes. And you miss the window. Like 200 days in, you might be like, I got to return. Honestly, I've done that before. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash freedom. Free shipping and 365 days returns. Quince.com slash freedom. There's so much advice out there. And all we want to do is parents is get it right.

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Yeah, I'm thinking we're back We are so back It's almost time for my flu shot Oh wow, are they still going to give them out? For now Yeah Because they're not going to do the COVID ones this year Is that what it's looking like?

That's what I'm going to go get my flu shot And then I'm going to say, hey, do I need to get one of those before they are not a legal thing anymore? Because we got ours right before we went overseas. Oversees. So that wouldn't have been this week. I got a COVID shot. So it's been a year.

Like a month ago. Okay. I'm about to go overseas again. Oh, for what? For the thrilling adventure hour. Oh, yeah. When is that? I saw your post.

And I didn't do the war. I joined up. I lied about my age. I said it was 18. You lied about your feet. Said they weren't flat. I said they were round as hell. In fact, you're a droid.

I'm a ball droid. We, yeah, Thirling Adventure Hour, it's the 20th anniversary of the show, yeah. And so we're doing, we've been doing some shows here and there, and then we're going to Brooklyn at the good old bell house at the end of October, and then we'll be going from there to London to do a show there for the first time. Did it ever take break? or was it kind of consistent? Oh, no, it took breaks.

Okay. But what's really funny is that we... It was every day for 20 years. I mean, like, was it every year, whether some years you didn't do it was... The show, there, I don't know if we went a full year without doing it. The show technically ended its regular run in 2015, I think, or 16. We went to Australia and New Zealand. Or Australia.

And so... We thought what we were, we had what we were told was our final show in New Zealand. Like, we walked off stage. We're all crying and stuff like that. And then I think a few months later, we did another show. That's crazy. So it never fully went away. That's funny to have that big moment.

Yeah, I know. I think about that a lot. Yeah. That's kind of humiliating. It's like, it's kind of mortifying. crazy. I'm glad it was in another country on the other side of the world. Yeah, I know. Could you imagine? Like, so no one really had to know that happened, but now you've shared.

I have shared. People need to know, but they deserve to know. Once I heard it, I felt I can't believe I haven't known that because I've deserved that. Yeah. Oh, you deserved it. Oh, you deserved it. You nasty. Oh, frack. Hey, guys. You babu frack. Why don't we listen to a voicemail? I love that. I love nothing. From hackclames8.com. I love it. The famous website. Here we go. This message is for the Freedom Boys. I'm Betsy calling from Michigan.

Hi, Betsy. And I was wondering if you had to live for the rest of your life without having anything potato or potato product related or tomato or tomato product related for the rest of your life, what would you choose and why? That's all. Thanks so much for all the laughs. Thank you so much, Betsy, or as it says in the transcription, backseat. Thank you, backseat. that's hard that is you know what here's here's the what i went through she said potato i love potato of course in many forms she said tomatoes like i don't care about tomato wait there's so many forms

of tomato that i love ketchup sauce pizza pie what are the things we like pizza oh my god both tomatoes and potatoes in them first let's start with fries ketchup oh my god the best friends yeah ketchup and fries pizza you'd have to have a white pizza i guess just That doesn't have tomatoes. I can make do with that, but I would rather have all the time. I think it would have to be potato. It would have to be potato. But I would feel a big loss for fries.

I would feel a loss. Okay, here's the potato thing. I love fries more than anything. Fries. Mashed potatoes. Oh, I love mashed potatoes. So good. I don't eat those enough.

Potato chips, of course. Oh, my God. Oh, I'd be so fucked. But it's always, it's always a side that you could probably like make. It's probably better if you don't eat it. Yeah. But I like them. Whereas tomato is intrinsically put into so many dishes that you wouldn't even think about it sometimes.

You need meadow. I love so many tomato-based and involved things. I'm not a crazy salad. I like ketchup. A capraise salad. I've come to like ketchup over the years, but I could do without it, I think, and just have ranch. I could do barbecue sauce. I could do without ketchup.

I could do barbecue sauce on a pizza and do barbecue chicken pizza. True, but every pizza? It's all I would eat. Every pizza? I would do, I would have my potatoes with my fries with my barbecue sauce. I guess I would have the Thai chicken pizza from California Pizza Kitchen. I'd have it every day for three meals. Yeah.

Like I do is to make it healthy. Regular pizza. Yeah. I'd put a leaf on it. Yeah, man. I couldn't, I couldn't not do. I couldn't not do tomato stuff. What's like the biggest?

I think I'm going to say tomatoes I'll do without. Well, you don't like that. After going over it. I can do without ketchup. The pizza would be a problem, but you know what? I think I would miss fries too much. Yeah, me too. You know what?

I really like fries, but I feel like as I've gotten older, fries are less of a priority for me. You used to be number one. I think they were higher up in my hierarchy. Yeah. Above your career? Yeah, my family. French fries, Janie. Oh, you're going to be Thanksgiving?

Will there be French fries? Hmm. Brass. Yeah, I think I'm okay with no potatoes. I'm going to say from from at this point in my life, I'd be okay to never have fries again. Whoa. I don't think I would miss them. I'm going to keep you to this.

I don't think I would miss them. That's crazy. You're never going to have fries again and you've made a promise. Guilty mouth. Only eats ketchup. So you're just going to have ketchup. I would just eat ketchup. I just did my finger in it.

suck it off. That's Emmy. We'll give her fries. We'll give her fries with ketchup, and she will just eventually dispense with the fries and just be licking the inside. Oh, both my kids love ketchup. Wow. Wow. Love it.

I used to dip, as a child, I used to dip salty chips in ketchup, and I loved that. That was a snack. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, I don't think it'd be good now. Well, if you dip fries in ketchup, why not potato chips? Yeah, but it's just like, but texture. Why not a whole fucking potato, you fucking freak? Okay.

Yeah. Want to dip a raw potato in there? Yeah, why don't you get a soup dish full of ketchup and just throw a potato? You know what? I would love to get into making some baked potatoes like nowadays. I think I mentioned them before. My mom used to do those twice baked potatoes with cheddar cheese on them. And she would serve them in a seashell.

In a seashell. How cute. Yeah. Like a real seashell or a seashell? Like it was kind of just like I think she liked, she liked to put it in there. She had them in a cabinet. They looked like, as far as I know, they were real sea shell. shells that were

purposed for this purpose. Paul, they weren't real. For potatoes. And Santa Claus isn't real either. How dare you? Santa Claus is, I feel like he's not been confirmed, real or unreal. That's right. Norad still tracks him.

I'm sorry. Santa Claus is real. I won't allow this. Hopefully you're not listening to this episode with your children. I mean, by now you would have heard so many things that are inappropriate. Yeah, man. Don't make your kids listen to this. Jesus.

They love it. They love the theme song. They hopefully turned it off. about fucking. Yeah. Do you think there's parents who just let

their kids listen to the theme song? Yeah, and then we're moving on to something else. No, it's K-pop demon hunters. I still gotta watch it.

Yeah, my soda pop. You haven't seen it yet? Didn't Emmy love it? She loves it, but I've never been in the room while she's,

you gotta spend time with her. But I've heard these songs over and over and over and over over and over. The cut's in the cradle and the silver spoon. My daughter watched Kipp up.

I never seen it. Let's hear another voicemail. Okay. Thank you, Betsy. Hello, Scott, Paul, and Lauren. I have a question. If you were to meet God, our Heavenly Father, he is real for the purposes of this scenario and in real life.

But if you were to meet him and you could ask him a question, what would it be? It can be any question, but do keep in mind that since he is God, he can send you to hell if he doesn't like your question. Or he could, like, erase you from the timeline. He can make anything happen. Race you from the timeline. Anyway, thank you.

You know, this brings, thank you. He didn't say his name. Wait, say it again? Do you think that was God? I actually know. God's real and what happens? I know his name. Should I say it or is that?

I was making a note about the show. No, I think if he doesn't say it. If he doesn't say it. Yeah. Okay. I was making a note about the show. Oh, sure. Okay.

This brings up an interesting question. I know God can do anything, supposedly. I didn't even imagine. Supposedly. other than make a rock too heavy for him to pick up. Yeah. But I never even imagine that he would just be indiscriminately erasing people from timelines. Yeah.

Like the fact that you're born and you go through all this shit and try to do what he wants and all that. And then he's like, no, I'm going to erase you from the timeline. So are there people in our lives that we knew, maybe loved, that crossed God and have been erased from the timeline? That fucking sucks. That's actually crazy to think about. Also, he's not saying this caller. this caller is not saying God would do this

He's just saying he could He could if the question were impertinent enough I guess So this is like so wide open It's scary It's scarier to not know It's a definitive punishment Well especially no one has answered

What I'm asking Which is that I missed a little part of the question Okay I want to participate I just don't know what you're talking about What would you like to know What happened in between the beginning an end of the call. You mean the call.

Between hello and thank you. When you get to heaven and you could ask one question of God, what would it be? But the chance that I could be punished for my question. And here's the other thing. There are certain rules that you're supposed to follow in order to get into heaven. It can't be revocable once you're in. You know what I mean? Like once you actually get in, they go like you, congrats, you made it.

You did either, you know, you went to confession enough times or you. You had a deathbed repentance. You were a piece of shit your entire life. But then at the very end, you're like, I accept Jesus Christ. Whatever the rules happen to be, and if you make it in, it can't then be like, oh, but you got to be on your fucking best behavior while you're here. But let me say this. Linder peas and cues. Do we know that, did he say you get into heaven or you just meet God?

This is a good question. He says, because what if it's just. Sort of in like that dogma movie or whatever? If you were to meet God. Oh, it's not even like. I remember so little about that. I just like someone was God and they were just walking. around. It was Alanis Morrison. Okay, right. He doesn't even say meeting God up in heaven. He's

just like, meet God. So it could be a burning bush scenario. Yeah. God might be in your living room. Yeah. And it's like, oh, hey, he's passing through. It might be a party and someone introduces you to God. Oh, hey, this is God. Oh, crazy. Do you know God? I didn't think you know, do you know, Paul. Have you too? Oh, hi, I'm God. I forgot his name. Thank God. Yes, hello. I think I know who you are. I feel like there are certain mysteries in my life. I don't even mean like ones that plague or society has always wanted

to know the answers to who killed JFK, etc. Right. But more like personal mysteries of like why the fuck did that or who who did that who stole this from me or you know what I mean? So you'd want to get there and just be like kind of solve one petty issue from your life.

Yeah like just this this question that I've wondered over the years or like would this person I thought I thought maybe they were interested in me and then I backed down. I'm getting this question now. Okay. Because I feel like if I were God and you asked me, that was the one question that you asked me,

I would absolutely erase you from the timeline. Yes. Your life is not worth. For you to squander this opportunity. What do you want me to ask? Like why is there evil in the world? I'm going to ask. Why did you even create sin?

How did they make Mount Rushmore? He just pulls up the Wikipedia page. Oh, okay, because I thought it was a natural occurrence. Oh, I thought it was erosion. Okay. Okay, because I thought it was erosion. You thought it was a miraculous showing. I thought it was like the St. Louis arch.

Like it just like appeared. Oh, yeah. Aliens just dropped it off one day. What would you ask, dear? I would ask him if I could ask God just one question. What if God was one of us? So I was the first to ask, are you one of us? So I was the first to ask, are you one of us?

And then I would say, I guess I would ask, like, yeah. I think it does depend on whether you're still alive or not. Well, if I'm, yeah, because if I'm dead, then I might have, I might say, God, will you protect all those in my life? Yeah, you could ask for a favor. Except the people I don't like. You could ask for a favor. You could even kidnap God and be like, God.

I will only let you go if you grant me this one. request will you do this for me right yeah i mean i think i guess i'd probably want to know about like uh stupid shit too probably yeah like what no you know what i want to know why is there war why i was thinking a similar thing because i would want to say i would want to ask hey it was already hard enough just to be a person yeah right there's a lot of we have these complex emotions feelings thoughts that's already hard enough and it occurs Herb Your Enthusiasm way, you know, like, in a way of like, oh, did I insult this person? What are the famous episodes of Curb Your Enthusible?

Yeah, did I double dip too much? But you know what I mean? It's already hard enough. I think the famous one was when Paul was on it. Oh, yeah. When I was on it. You were a lawyer. Did I judge my lawyer too harshly for not being Jewish?

You know, stuff like that is already. The questions. Yes. That's already hard enough. Yeah. So why did we also have to. be murderous monsters

it was already hard enough to like have feelings like I like that person but they don't like me back I know wouldn't that life would be so much better if there was never even the temptation to do anything like that like it never even entered anyone's mind of like oh what if I did this horrible thing to all these people here's

what I would ask I would ask and this is I'm going to okay mask off yeah oh this is my serious question I ask God I would say what were you doing while all this was going on? Were you involved? Were you just watching?

Were you laughing? Were you laughing? What was your experience up here? You know what? I bet he would love that. Because no one ever asked him that. He would fucking love that. It's always like, why'd you do this to me?

That's the play. And that would get him talking. And that would get you like permanent timeline status. I'd be like, the only question is like, how are you? Yes. Is there an answer that would satisfy you? probably not because it seems that's yeah just seen everything if he said like i did all that i'd be like well why and then you'd be like no follow-up questions you only got one the closest

satisfying i think it would be like it makes life interesting it would be i i created it i let you guys take it from there and this is what you did and i didn't i didn't interfere i wish you hadn't done it. But it's your planet. I gave it to you. If that truly was the creator's experience as not outlined in the Old Testament where he's always getting involved and going like, I'm going to create this flood and kill everyone, all that kind of stuff. If it truly was just like, I created it. And honestly, I didn't, I didn't have the ability to influence anything. Like, you guys just did what you wanted. Then I'd go, okay. You had the, you had this power to create life. And then you didn't do anything with it afterwards. You just kind of watched.

Or you couldn't even watch, maybe. Okay, that's fine. Also, how come we couldn't have more like E.T. like things where E.T. shows up. I know. Right. Like, can we just have a little more fun? Yeah. If you're just making stuff.

Why? Like, there was Mac and me. And flight of the navigator. I've never seen flight of the navigator. Oh, yeah. Paul Rubens does the voice of the shit. The shit? Yep.

The big pile of shit that someone steps into it. You're thinking of weird science. Oh, right. I'm always thinking of weird signs. Yes. You horny little maniacs. What do you little maniacs want to do first? Do you know what we were talking about?

Yes, I remember watching that, but I'm like, I'm sure I didn't get 90% of what that movie was. Very funny line that is weirdly out of place in that movie is she yells at this one guy, can't just go around hitting people with your Rex Harrison hat. Was that also a TV show or just a movie? Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah, it was. It was everything.

It was everything to us and more. Yeah. We really, we really squandered our opportunities with the show Weird Science. Yeah. We really did. It's a shame. Because why is Anthony Michael Hall doing the TV show of The Dead Zone instead of Weird Science? Yeah.

It's like, dude, come on. And why was Christopher Walken doing the Weird Science TV show? It's so strange. We've never been able to figure out the answers to these. That's what I would ask God. Why did Christopher Walken do the Weird Science TV show? Yeah. Yeah, I'd ask him that too.

Because I probably won't know your answer. I've never seen The Dead Zone. The movie or the TV show? I've also never seen it. Neither. Never read the book? Never read the book? Never read the book?

Never read the book. Never read it. Never read it. I wonder how the book holds up. It's an interesting premise. Ooh, a very interesting premise. A man shakes hands with people and has a violent... What are you guys reading right now?

I'm reading a book called The Country of Ice Cream Star, which is a wild book that I'm really liking a lot. Nice. Nothing. I just finished a book last night. Whoa. That's why you're out of being. And then I just read the first page of my next one to kind of get me into that. Exciting.

So I'm like, I can't. Do it hook you? I just finished So Gay for You, which is the memoir by Leisha Haley and Kate Menig about Elwood and their friendship and everything. Oh, right, right, right. I love them. And the book was great. I did just buy a book. I just started the book audition.

Let me see the author name because I haven't even. You know, when something, I have, when some of my books are on my Kindle, and then I never know who wrote it because it's like they don't show you the cover of it again. Like I think when you open your Kindle, the home screen should be whatever book you're currently reading. So it feels like your reading a book. I like that. But it's by Katie Kittamura, and apparently it's great.

I keep seeing people talking about this book, so I'm excited to read it. I just bought a book. It will arrive tomorrow. At 2 a.m. Yes, and it will be promptly still. A thief will enjoy it. A thief in the night.

It's called Such Great Heights. The complete cultural history of the indie rock explosion. It's by Christaville, the stereo gum writer. That sounds interesting. Interviews with all these bands like the shins, et cetera. Postal Service obviously title. Yeah. Iron and wine, pavement, grimes.

I'd love to check that out. And I'll pass. And Paul doesn't like music you were telling me at all. Yeah, I can't stand it. You only like when people talk monotonously. I like some notes. That's about it. C-sharp, you were saying.

Love it. Meanwhile, B-flat, hate it. And of course I like the one note, A minor. A minor. A-miner. That's just good poetry, honestly. It's great wordplay. It is great wordplay.

I'm ready to eat this baby bell. Are you ready to wrap up the episode? We're ready to wrap it up, guys. Anything you want to plug? Varietopia.com. Get some tickets. We got tickets. Our show in Kansas in Overland Park, Kansas is sold out.

I will be in Kansas anymore. Man, I don't know. It's in October. September 11th, I bet. It is not. That's when dogs get groomed. Yeah. um can i look at it real quick i'll tell you i'll tell you i don't give a shit okay thank you

Lauren is that okay with you yeah you say it's sold out though why do we care no because there's other shows too because you asked me what day it was Jesus Christ I'm just being a stinker you are being a little sticker it's kind of adorable is it October 31st uh no it is not that's Halloween and too scary to have a show um here's what I'm going to say Wednesday uh October 15th Charleston, South Carolina. Friday, October 17th, Overland Park, Kansas, sold out Saturday, October 18,

St. Louis, Missouri to see the naturally occurring arch. Sunday, October 19th, closing it out in Louisville, Kentucky. Nevertheless, we insist that you get some tickets. All right, Lauren, anything to promote other than this cheese

you're eating? September 12th, Paul's birthday, I think. I'm performing an ultimate improv show at Dynasty Typewriter. Oh, there you go. I have some other live things coming up. As a birthday tribute. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I would love that. My show with Mary got moved to November for work. So you'll be gone until November. The White Cliff Special. Yeah, gone until November. The show's gone till November. The show's gone until November 4th, I believe. And I have nothing.

Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. in so many ways. We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better. Uncared for Season 3 from Lemonada Media. Available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.