Threedom - What's Your Body Count, Marriage-wise?

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss bad dates, a popular online video, and Star Wars before answering listener voicemails. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hey guys, we're Elizabeth Chambers and Marissa Hermer. You may know us from television, business, and other things. We're talking about the stuff that really matters. Every week we're celebrating women and getting real about divorce, dating, motherhood, sex, friendship, and everything in between. It's honest, hilarious, unfiltered, and proof that this chapter of life is the best one yet. So if you're ready to laugh, feel seen, and join the conversation, come hang out with us. this is The Dash. Listen and subscribe to the Dash

wherever you get your podcast. Freedom! What? Sorry, guys. Are you guys, I just got here for Threata? Did three do you start already? Oh, no, it's starting right now. I think you did it, okay, but we have one more.

It's coming up really quick. Was that it? You made it. Paul, you did good. Oh, did I do good? That's not going to say in heaven. The hometown boy made good. When I get to the pearly gates, I'm going to say, did I do good.

That's what, that's what Jane. James Lipton wants to know, and you just answered it. Did he die? Yeah. I mean... Figuratively? I actually don't know. Are I possible?

I thought he did. I think he's with 100% yes in 2020. Within 100% yes. March of 2020, did he get the jab? We got him, folks. He was 90. Wait, 90, what does that make him? He was, yeah, he was.

was 94. Wow, with that beautiful dark beard. He was almost a hundred. That's why I thought he was so much younger. What a life. Yeah, of course. I thought he's got to be 35. James Lipton, we love you.

Oh, fellow kids. We love you. Rest in hell. Oh, come on. Come on. He stole that questionnaire from Bernard Pivo. How do you think Bernard Pivo felt about that? I mean, he's probably dead too, right?

When you get to the pearly gates, what do you hope they say? When you die. if heaven does exist and you meet God, what would you like to have him say to you to hear? Do you think heaven actually exists? It just seems so improbable. It just seems impractical to me. Yeah, all those people, anyone who's ever lived?

Jeez, who's accepted Jesus into his heart. And you just praise God all day long? Is it just like this up there? That would be cool for just doing podcasts up there. If it was just like Life Part 2. Podcasts, yeah. Now you live up here. Yeah.

Now you go to this store. I'm okay with that. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds kind of fun. But you don't have to worry about your health ever again. That would be fine.

You're not a corporeal being. You were not a corporeal being. I want to be somewhat corporeal. Would you like to play a game? It puts the lotion in the basket, but it doesn't put it on its skin because you're not a corporeal being. You don't have to worry about it. Yeah. And you don't get the hose again because you don't need it.

You don't get the hose again. I like to touch some things. Why don't you touch grass? Oh! Damn! You need to touch grass. Touch grass, touch ass, or touch gas. No one touches for free.

Do you remember that scene in the between two-vers movie that is very funny where Drew... Was it the game show scene? Drew Tarver. No, no. Your scene was very funny, Paul. Drew Tarver did what? Drew Tarver was a hitchhiker that you guys picked up. Oh, yeah.

And Ryan says like, all right, so do you have your gas money? And he's like, oh, no, no, no. I said ass. It's like, you said gas, grass or ass. said that. He goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I thought that you said gas. Oh, okay. And it was like a nice like, oh, okay, well, no problem. I remember that. No, it didn't, never made the movie. I was going to say, it was a cut from the movie because I remember doing the scene with him. It was very funny. Those two together were very funny. They love playing together.

Always. Always. They do. They love playing together. Funny little guys. Funny little guys. They're just some funny. We love our funny little guys. We love those little guys. Now, I'm a boy mom. Yeah. So you know I love my funny little guys. I'm a girl mom. Can you imagine being James Lipton's mom?

Yeah. Absolutely. What is the question? Oh, because he talks like that. He's like four and he's talking like that to you. What is his family guy? He's stewy now? He's stewy now?

Let me get this straight. If you could be stewy for one day, which day would it be? 9-11. 9-11. I would pick Easter. Christmas, because then I'd get a lot of gifts. Hmm. But they're not gifts you're interested in.

You can't take them with you. Well, no, I take the gifts. No, I get to take the gifts with you. Take the gifts to get the bet, the beat the da, the facts of life. The Stuey life. Stewie is same head shape as Arnold. Hey Arnold. Yeah, and also similar to a football.

Well, yes. Well, yes. Arnold, yeah, classic. When you think of a football. Do you think of it laying horizontally or do you think it standing? I think of it horizontally. Lauren? Horizontally?

You think of it standing? You think of it like Lucy with her finger on it? I think it doesn't naturally rest that way. So it's difficult for me to think. I never think of Lucy. Oh, okay. Now you can't help but think of Lucy, right? No, I put her out in my mind.

Try now. It's in my mind long enough to remember who it is. And then I immediately cast it out. Lucy Van Pelt. Me, gone. Do you think she's like, how old is she now? She's in hell. She's dead and in a house.

No, she's like 40 in a milf. She's dead and in hell. She's 40. Oh, there's a squirrel behind. The peanuts were invented in the 50s. A billion years ago. But then they didn't age until Charles Schultz died and retired. God, damn it, you're right.

So when did he, when did a loophole? Last Peanuts strip. Last penis strip. Are they still running? 2000? So she... Wow. Considering she's probably what? Five, between five and eight. Yeah, how old are they supposed to be?

I think she's... She's in her 30s. Because they're very precocious to those kids. She's in her 30s now and she's hot as hell. Wow. Want to feel horny? Here's what Lucy Van Pelt looks like now. Want to feel horny and old? With those fucking buns on her hair?

What does she? What is that hairstyle? Uh-uh. It was more like she had like a perm. Like it was like curly at the bottom. It's like a 50s. hairstyle though, right? Wouldn't you call this a 50s hairstyle? Who does he think she is?

That's like a 50s thing. Like no one's hair naturally does that. It's like sort of the thing where... No, she definitely goes to a salon. I could see someone's hair doing that. I could see someone's hair doing that if I try hard enough. Lauren? I dare you.

Next episode we do. Come in with your hair like Lucy Ben Pelham. Intentional. I will do that. Have you ever dyed your hair black? No, I did. I did. I did too. I did too.

I did my hair red for a job and then they died it brown over it. I'm kind of in something like that right now, which I just... They dyed my hair for the Sarah Silverman program. Right. I think they were unsatisfied with it. Why did they die it again? Because they thought a cop can't have blonde hair. Well, I played two different characters on two different episodes, but the first one was an FBI guy and they just, like Sarah imagined that character with dark hair.

hair. I beat out John Ham before he was famous for the part. And he already had dark hair. And he already had dark hair. And I bet they were kicking themselves. Yeah. Um, afterwards. Well, it would have helped so much if they had cast him then. Yeah. Just for when people watch it now, they would say, wow. Yeah. What if they cast him then? He said now they say, if they cast him then, he probably wouldn't have gotten the Mad Men job. Yeah, he would have been gone on that day for the auditions. They would have been like, well, you could have gotten Mad Men. Yes. Oh my God. Sliding That's what the money is for. That's what the money is for.

Interesting. That would be my reading. It's a really good line. It's a really good line, especially if you sing it. That's what the money is for. That's what the money is for. The money is for. So Charlie Brown and the whole Peanuts gang are in their 30s now.

Wow. That's so crazy. Are they married? Did Charlie ever find love? Your little red-haired girl. Charlie's divorced. This is like a show we need right now. If he ever got married, he is divorced for sure.

Is his head still big and round or with? Did it kind of balance out eventually? Did he ever grow hair? Did he ever change his shirt? Did he ever change his shirt? Does Linus still carry around a disgusting blanket? I would like to think he passed it on to his children. Is he still quoting scripture all the time?

Does he quotes? Hold on a second. He did it when it was appropriate. At Christmas. Yes. Only. He was not proselyizing. What was he was like?

And lo the shepherds. And lo the shepherds. And lo the shepherds. You guys are mocking my religion. If you were in church and the whoever is doing the service started saying, Let us read from the Bible, Matthew 1612. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That would be exciting.

That would be so exciting. Yeah. If they started doing that. Yeah. I'd be like, do you think that's how you hear boring shit now? well you're talking right now I just told you my life story I was a big

I was a babysitter I was starting movies imagine how hard that fucking hit the first time somebody said yeah I didn't ask for your whole life story Oh my God Some of those things that just You'd be high-fiving everyone in the room

When you think about the first person to say it And the first person to receive it You're like I am humiliated I need to end my life right now. Yeah, I'm putting rocks in my jacket. Well, I didn't need to hear your whole life story. Harsh. How about the guy who was quoting Shakespeare and he said, what a piece of work.

Look at this piece of work. That's good. It's from fucking Shakespeare. That's from Shakespeare. We just play. Hamlet, what a piece of work is man. What a piece of work is man. In apprehension held like a God.

A piece of work. This piece of work. Out damn spot. But do you think he meant to like that? that's how we use it The first person who told it Like that The first person who told their dog

Out damn spot Yeah And that's from Shakespeare Do you think there's any dog now On earth named Spot? I don't know And do you think anybody tries to tell it to go outside And says out damn spot

What an annoying person I almost wish we Yeah I hate that person I don't want another dog But God cool I brought up a third dog the other day Oh no

Fucking insane No not without getting rid of the one I'm putting my foot down The one has to go Yeah And we know which one. We know which one. Balance it out.

There is one that is not pulling their dog weight. No. You can't have a third. But I mean, I'm sort of like if I ever have another dog, it's kind of tempting to say Spot. I think that's kind of like a good name now. Would you ever get a big dog? Big Dog got a bark.

You're saying it's good now? I think it's good now. I think Spot could be a cute name now. Yeah. Especially, but not if it has spots. No. It's got to look like a spot on. something else. That's to be completely one color.

But if you can't handle it with the big dogs, you better just go be with the puppies up on the porch. That's what I learned from hands on a hard body. That's a good point that I hadn't really considered up till now. But would you ever get a big dog? I don't think so because, you know, I think

as Tom Lennon said, you know, it's like when you're collecting its poops, it's like you know, an unhoused persons. You know, it's just too big. It's like a human being poopo. Yeah, you know. You'll be poop-poo. I mean, I don't want to pick up a large shit. I don't like picking up the small ones.

I don't even pick up my own. Yeah. Where are you shitting these things? In the toilet. I use the toilet. You don't have to pick it out. You should flush. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You should flush. Yeah. Since we got to be huge for Janie. Because I feel like that was. For both of us. But it was making her less attracted to you because she was getting the egg. Of course. And the same for me with her.

It doesn't go both ways. It was like, this wasn't in our vows. Women get the ick. Hopefully your toilet doesn't go both ways. Men can't get the egg. How what now? Come on. I'll fight you.

Hey. This is a topic though I don't think we've ever discussed. What have you? Bad dates. That's you. Bad dates where you just knew in your head like, oh, this is not going to go any further. Like what was the reason? Or describe these bad dates.

Oh, I would say that the person either was boring or thought that I was. Wait, so you've been on a date where you go like, I think this person thinks I'm boring. I've been on a date where I'm like, this person does not like me. Whatever I opened up with. Was that true? It did not continue or was there another date? I've never, I've never had a successful dating story that started out. We did not like each other.

Right. Or this person did not like me. Right. But there wasn't one where you were convinced like this person doesn't like me. And then you find out, oh, they did like me. No. Oh. So you're an accurate, you have an accurate read on what people think of you.

If it's a one-on-one situation where we're on a date, yes. Yeah. Sex is best when it's one-on-one is George Michael. That's true. I love condoms. Have you done it with more people? He was, he was having so much sex. He had to clarify that his preference.

I've done it with three. I've done it with four. It's best when it's one-on-one. Okay. I'm not saying it's bad when it's. We're focused. It's actually pretty fucking awesome. We get to the goal.

I'm saying it's best one-on-one. Yeah. I think I remember most practical. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just keep it simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember being on a date where like, I think, I forget how we even met, but I remember being on like a sort of coffee date.

And it lasting for two and a half hours and me knowing from the, like, the jump, oh, I'm not interested. Two and a half hours. Sometimes when you don't like someone, you can be nicer to them. Not you. I just mean like, I feel like, because I mean to you. It's impossible for you.

I'm not saying you specifically. I'm saying like I feel like there are situations where I'm like, I'll turn up the niceness a lot because I feel like I don't want this to be happening. Yes, yes, yes. And it feels rude to let out any real feelings. I have seen a lot of like somehow my algorithm is now sending me like people texting. I guess this must be on apps where they're texting each other saying that they're not right for each other. and then like some of them it ends in blocking them or something like that but like you know that is

something that I think is very mature of of people it seems to be nowadays to be able to say like hey I don't think this is going any further but I really enjoyed meeting you I imagine with the apps you have to say that more often because yeah there's more dates and more the date in question for me like I just never really called her again yeah and I think that we never went on a second date Mutual, you know, it's like, that can also happen. But I feel like, I do feel like from my friends who are on apps, it's like because you're swiping, you're getting into conversations. So then it's like you're kind of at home going on like setting up a date. Yeah.

It's like things that wouldn't happen before. You would have to like meet someone or be in person. Yeah. And so then there's a higher amount of people that you have to turn down. This is the podcast where. You don't want to leave a lot of hanging chads. This is the podcast where three married people imagine what dating is like. I just don't know.

I simply don't know. I honestly can't imagine. I don't know. It sounds hard. I don't know if I would have what I have taken to it. You know what I mean? What I found it more frustrating or less frustrating than the old fashion way. I mean, we have a mutual acquaintance who is on it like it's his job.

And he puts in the hours, I got to say. This is my castle. I think some people find it really fun. I think some people find it terrible, like as it's like. It really depends. It's not what you're looking for. It depends on what you're looking for. It depends what state you are in.

Are you really, if you are focused on, I want to have a relationship. That's going to, I think, make things so frustrating when you have to go through all these things that don't work out. Unless you have like a really good attitude about it, like knowing if I find somebody right away, that's very lucky. But chances are it's not going to be that easy. And I'm going to have to go out with a bunch of people, which is not much different than, the old-fashioned way of just meeting people. Or, you know, like dating your improv students. But I sort of...

I mean, that's the old fashion. That can't miss. And it still works. That's Adam and Eve. And it still works. Oh my God. They did improv on Survivor the other night, by the way. Oh, no.

It was a rock. But wait. Why? I have one more thing I'm going to say before you talk about it. I feel like the apps confuse you and make you go out with people you would actually never want to talk to you because once you actually talk to them in person, you're like, I don't feel a vibe here. there's no reason.

So, like, it can waste a lot of time, I think, for that reason. Because you're only seeing their picture. Because you see a picture and then you can imagine a whole thing about them and you can be texting and have like a whole idea of what they're going to be like. And then the chemistry is totally not there. Yeah, you see it. Yeah. What did they make them do?

Well, they didn't make them do it. Someone was saying. They didn't make them do. They wanted to? Someone in the tribe was saying like, let's put on a show. I just think we should just goof around and do some scenes. Well, they mentioned that someone was in Second City or something. And then one of the guys on the tribe stands up and goes like, oh, we should do improv.

The first rule of improv is yes and. So, all right, you and me, what we need is a suggestion of a color. And then someone says brown and then it turned in. That's the worst suggestion you could get for improv. First of all, a color. A color is the worst. By the way, if you're listening to this and you're a survivor super fan, I was half watching this. It may not have been a color.

But the suggestion was brown And then it turned into just like a shit thing Great What if I said brown to you? What's the first? How are you going to initiate? Hey, come look in this toilet. Really?

You're going to make it about poo as well. This is right. Keep all my brown paint. My first thought is Thanksgiving. It's the brownest holiday. It is the brownest holiday. Browns. Cleveland.

Brown. But to be fair to survivor, it was included in a package of how annoying this person is. Oh, great. And how much everyone on the tribe hates him. Absolutely. And so showing this terrible improv was Improv remains universally hated.

It's tough. It's tough out there. For us. Frost. Frost. Frost. Queen. But, yeah, I mean, bad dates. They're all, I mean, yeah, I haven't been on one in so long. I mean, me neither. It's been a million years.

It's been a quarter of a century since I've been on a date and who knows what it's like out there. But God bless all of you, still trying to propagate the species. Yeah, we need you. We need all of you. We need to continue populating the earth. Yes, we need the worker class. Someone has to dig the dishes.

Married people are the elites. Yeah, I think of us married people. They're all good. And if you've been married several times, you're even more elite. That's the dream. Yeah. Yeah. What's your body count? Marriage-wise. All right, we have to take this. Bye. Okay, hypothetical. If you were going to start a business before the holidays, what would you actually sell? I feel like most of us have that, oh, wait, I could make this into a thing idea, but then we immediately get overwhelmed by everything that would have to happen next. Well, that's where Shopify can help. It gives you the tools to actually get your idea out into the world without needing to know how to build a website from scratch.

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around me start to worry. So I made a show about that feeling. It's called OMG obsessed. And every week, I sit down with one of my favorite people and ask, what's your horse? What's the thing you cannot shut up about? So come be an obsessive with me. OMG obsessed is out now. Follow wherever you get your podcast. We don't like each other. Oh, hey, we're back. Cut that part. No. No, Paul. That was the most real thing you've ever said.

So we're going to tell people? Yeah. We're finally going to tell people. Yeah, we're finally going to tell everyone. We hate each other. We've never liked each other. Guys, and we scream it during the breaks. I hate it.

We don't like each other. Now back. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. What's the worst date you've ever been on? Can you think of anything? like that. Still talking about that.

Dating is fascinating. We don't ever talk about it because we haven't done it in a million years. I mean, every time I'm asked a question like that, I always assume I just go to I was somebody's bad date.

You know what I mean? Do you have a weird ex? And I'm like, I was somebody's weird ex. I'm sure. Where people tell stories about it. And then they did this. This guy was a lot of dates. It's like a kind of just married people.

the only date I've ever went on we got married the next day yeah I went out with a handful of people in my early 20s one of them I hate and a few of them are fine everyone else is fine but I don't know there's not much to say about it it's just you know that's a long time ago I had one terrible relationship like

Absolutely terrible where the person I was with was terrible. And that's it. I got pretty lucky otherwise. Otherwise, I was just kind of like a immature kind of boyfriend. It took me a while to get my shit together. Yeah. Moving into more cheerful territory, do you remember a unique setting for any of your dates? Like, oh, we went to a baseball game or we, you know what I mean?

Where it's not just how we went to dinner or we went to a movie. No, I only did normal things. You only did normal things. So you never. Well, unless, or do you mean like with a long-term relationship? Maybe I had more interesting dates at a certain point. But I mean, no, like first few dates with people. It was always just restaurant.

Yeah, same. Party. Yeah, yeah. Movies. I have parties. Not going to a party together, but being at a party. Mm-hmm. Not only a date.

Yeah. But I mean, kind of. Baseball game is kind of, that's amazing. That's a great date. You're in a movie at that point. For a first date? For a first date, wouldn't it be kind of fun? Three hours.

Next to someone's such a long time. boring you talk the whole time you might you might get into a fight with a fan i've been getting a lot of in the algorithm like fights in baseball stands oh oh in baseball i just saw one on substack that was like let me tell you a little backstory about that video that you think is so funny or you all have comments on this is me and my husband that video that you're talking about and he's a really good dad it was like the so she wrote an essay i can imagine it was frustrating to be shit talked on something for a 30 second clip of you that does not show what your relationship. But they basically was everyone was saying she had to divorce her husband because she was carrying the baby and all the food and then he was sitting down.

Oh yes. No, did you read? Yeah. It was like an essay. Yeah, the essay that she wrote about like, no, this is an amazing dad. Yes. And what you don't know about it. He conserves his energy.

No, what you don't know about it is like this was me offering because his friend just passed away. No, she was like, no. She was like, here's all the back story. It was like, you hadn't eaten. I had eaten. He did it. I asked him this. Here's the text message where I said, do you want this or that? And he said, whichever line is shorter. And his friend just passed away. And we went to this game in order to cheer up his spirits. And I was trying to like, take care of him. Dang. It was all this kind of stuff. And it was just so much like. I didn't even see the video because I just, I only just read this essay. But I guess the video was the commentator.

Like she was on the jumbo, whatever the fuck. And so they were making fun of like, oh, she must be saying this to her friend. about he never helps me. Yeah. And she was even like, the commentators, you guys were funny, but it did open the door for everyone to be sending us threats for him to kill himself. The guys in the booth should not be doing that shit. Yeah. There's certain things you can focus on where it's like, you know exactly what's happening and it's funny.

Yeah. But don't, don't be, yeah. The guys in the booth are all jocks, though. What do you expect for? But also like- They're not all jocks, though. Who do you think? People comment.

They're just broadcasters. People comment all the time on things like that saying like, like you got to leave that man or whatever, like from one thing. Like, yeah. We're just like, you don't know. I mean, obviously we all know that we don't know what's going on with anyone's life. But it's just like then I guess that must have been very damaging to this woman because she felt like she had to write this whole essay. Well, yeah.

I mean, that's what she was saying at the end was like, they'd gotten so. You read the headline. I read it for like a couple minutes. You read the tweet about that. I don't even know what this is about. No, but no, she was saying that like it escalated so much that people were sending death threats or not and just like. That's awful. You know, and it's just like, hey, we've all been guilty of looking at a video and not knowing the context about it.

But like, I know the context of everything I see. No, I know the context of everything I've ever seen. Naturally. Yeah. I just do. Do I comment on all of them? No, I don't. Do I comment on most of them?

Yes, I do. Usually I comment to give context. Yes. They were just having a fight. Yeah. These people love each other. Everything's fine. I say, here's what you don't know.

Yeah, I'm a stranger. I don't know them either. But I know what's going on. That is just a, I mean, you're in a public place. You don't want to have a video of you broadcast throughout the world. No. And for people to be commenting on your own relationship. It's still, like, that should be illegal.

Like they, yeah. Yeah. Or at least a civil suit should be brought in. I think, no, they shouldn't go to the courts. For the most part, comments should be turned off across the internet. I don't know that we need to have them on every single thing ever. It makes people so mad. that you have yours off.

Yeah. Yeah. But how do you, how do you know they're mad? They comment on something else and tag you or like. That has happened. Sometimes when I have left comments open, people comment and they say something like, you know, finally you leave your comments open so I can say something.

And it's like, and that's what you said? That's what you choose. What the fuck? Do you get it now? Now I have to read this. I just heard Jenny Slate on Monica Lewinsky's podcast, which I've been listening to a bunch of it. It's very interesting.

And she was talking about she's not on social media. She has somebody manage it, you know, postings for her or whatever every once in a while. And she doesn't look at it because she felt like, first of all, there's people being mean and nobody needs that. I mean, I mean, I hate to read a mean thing and start my day. I'm like, why now I have that. It's compounded so much for women, too, of getting weird sex stuff that it's just like, it's not fun. It's horrible. And so she was just like, and also beyond that, it just influences her thoughts.

She doesn't want to be thinking about. She wants to just think about whatever she wants to think. about. Yeah. Which I think is wonderful. Yeah. And I'm like, that's, that's it though. It's like, why do we let ourselves anyone, but especially if you're in the public eye, but it's like you have the, it's an open door policy for people to just say whatever they want to you. Because even on mine, I have mine only limited to people who follow me. So it does weed out a lot of haters. That's what Harris said, I think, was like we've somehow have given everyone our email addresses practically. Yeah, yeah. Like anyone can send any message they want to us.

Now, I don't care about anything anyone ever sends to me. But so I have it limited, but then if I get collabed on something, then anyone can say whatever they want. Then it's in my feed. I've stopped looking as closely, though, because it's like, it used to be more, my friends are writing to me. Yeah. And now I'm getting just someone on this random pages commenting on it. It's very funny any time I collab with Tatiana on a CBB post, just like for months, the hatred that I that are popping up in my feet I'm just it bemuses me it's fucking it's crazy though

and I just it is like what what is driving everyone to comment people are also on a hair trigger about things yeah yeah where there's no justice in the world and and you see anything in the world that irks you and it's like this world needs to be more fair but even that that's I can take that more than I can take like people just being mean to other people and or well it's also societies so in, you know, unequal and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're, everything sucks so bad.

Everything sucks so bad. I mean, I guess I understand. Other than freedom. But I'm just like exhausted by it. Well, everything's fine. Freedom's still fun. I understand why it happens. We can't stand each other and we say that to the break.

That's fine. I understand why it happens, but I'm just like what to what end? Like what how will this? It's never going to get better. No. It'll just get worse. But I, but I do have hope that, um, and I feel like, we've talked about this, that the younger generation is,

plus the baby, is rebelling against it and not interested in all that kind of stuff. I keep hearing this stuff. I know, but it just gets worse and worse. Are we just waiting for people to die? Is that what's going on? Yes. We are waiting on a lot of people to die right now. I know.

It's wild. I never had this big list before of people that I was waiting to die. It's pretty crazy. Getting back to Jumbotron. Yeah. When you see a Kiss Cam compilation. Yeah. And you see, this is all I watch.

You see. That's how you jerk off. That's my porn. Oh, look at these happy loving couples. I go to Kiss Cam Hub. Oh, that gets me so excited to think I'll be in a relationship like that someday. How about this? When there's a couple sitting there and people are waiting for them to kiss and then the guy has a sign with an arrow that says she's my sister.

Yeah. You've seen this, right? I've seen that. Yeah. They come in expecting to be on the kiss. cam. This is my question. Like, how did you know?

How do you know? I never, I've never been on the Jumbotron in any baseball game I've ever got you. In their defense, I feel like any time I've seen it, it has been an attractive company. They've been too hot for this. Yeah.

It's been like a, they're ready for this. Or it's happened to them before. Kate Hudson and Oliver. Yes. You know, we're just like, hey, we know we're both hot. People like cameras are always going to be naturally drawn. to us. So let's make sure

that we always bring our sign. Is it folded? Sometimes it's folded. That's a good question. Because if you have it in your pocket, easier to bring around. Not as embarrassing if it doesn't come up. But what if it's wooden? I've never. It's wooden. And in order to put it in your pocket, Jackie Chan or someone would have to kick it and break it. Probably Jackie Chan or somebody would have to kick it and break it.

Oh, yeah. These are things to think about. Yeah. And they don't always have those at every ballpark. That would be pretty cool if Jackie Chan did that. The signs are always printed. If he went to every ballpark? What? They're printed. They're not hand-drawn, you're saying? No.

They're like laser-printed at home. Maybe they give them out to any hot brothers and sisters who come into the park. I mean, that would be a great service. Funny. If there was a booth there, it's like, are you a hot brother and sister? These signs are complimentary. Crazy. Have you been to a game this year?

No. I haven't been to a baseball game in person a long time. You've got to go to a post-season, especially if the... I know. As of this, let's not jinx anything. Okay. But as of this moment, yes. Yes. Nothing, dear.

All right, I guess I'll figure it out when it does or doesn't happen. The guys are talking right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're broing out. Let's be clear. I don't care. We're broing out and showing out. Yes, Tommy Lee.

As of this moment, the Philadelphia Phillies are still in the postseason. They're in the wild card. As of this taping, it could change tonight. It could change today. I think it's a tonight thing. The game started at 11. No, I think they moved it. They moved it.

I think. I was just looking it up, actually, because I wanted to fill you in on, I believe it's 5 p.m. I want a doctor fill you in and send you to boot camp. I don't appreciate that kind of thing. It's moved to 5 p.m., I believe. Medicine. You know what?

Can confirm. Because it's the only one happening tonight, so they wanted to put it in prime time. That means 2 p.m. here. No, it's 8 p.m. Pacific, Pacific, excuse me. God, God, damn it.

Scott, I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. I know, but I'm saying you have this to look forward to tonight. I'm under a lot of stress with the team. What's your role with the Phillies? A fan. Loyal fan.

Okay. You don't understand the pressure this puts on me. Lauren, what's going? Lauren, why are you feeling your lymph nodes? That was just like an itching sort of feeling. Do you feel like when you say you're doing your best? I was just thinking about that. think you are doing your best when you say

I'm doing my best. It's usually when you're not. You don't what I mean? Yeah. It's a good point. So it's kind of weird. Usually you could do better. Usually you're saying it because you're defending, you're being defensive. The first person to say that must have thought like, oh my God, I have the perfect out.

I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. I'm doing the best I can right now. No, everyone can always do better. I think, I think anytime I have said that I've won, 100% meant it. Really? Yes. I think I have been in a situation where it's like, you have to believe me. I am doing the best that I can.

This is all I got. I think I say it. I think I'll say I'm doing my best and I go, that's not good enough. Now, I'll try my best. That's always a lie. Yeah. Yeah. I'll try my best.

I'll try my best. I'm not going to try it all. Never. Zero. Zero percent try. No. I won't even attempt it. No.

But I'm doing. my best? Always. Try or try not. There is no do. Take that yada. Little yoddy-yutti. Little yoddy.

Little yoddy-y-y-y-y. God damn, I started watching that Mandalorian and Grogu. That Grogu is fucking... He's cute. I mean, that movie doesn't... It doesn't really work, but that... No, it's just...

Long episode of the TV show. ...where he's wandering around, and it's like a silent movie. It's cute as hell. I haven't even got to that yet. Oh, it's cute as hell. Wait. Here's the last cute. thing I saw before I turned it off.

Before you died. You know what? If I die in my sleep tonight, I'm satisfied. I can watch this in installments. He climbs up a wall and gets in a window. That's cute. I think I've seen it. Open the door.

Until the sweat drips down his balls. That he's just standing there at the open door. You don't think he ought to have balls? He has little eggs. How do they reproduce? He eats eggs. But that's why. How do they reproduce?

We've never, we don't know who his parents are or if he even has parents. Does he hatch? We don't know anything. I love that some people are like, Yoda's his dad. It's like, oh, because it's the only other one that you know. The only other one. Yoda and Yaddle. Although, to be honest, wouldn't surprise me.

Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. That Star Wars Christmas special? Oh, hell of. Oh, it gets nasty with that grandpa jerking off. Oh, no. Lumpy. Lumpy, bumpy.

Or was he itchy? bumpy in the night. Do you know this because of newcomers? I've watched it. I've watched it in full. possibly twice possibly that's weird why twice it might have been put on

another year and then I thought okay here's a here's a question it's not that good now that I've seen it once I can watch it again now I can watch just part of my Christmas

yes now it is a tradition yeah here's a question yeah putting your job aside let's just say that you would be a successful actress or a podcast or sure just thinking of pudding right now

that's all I think of putting aside You would be as successful. Don't put it aside. I want to put it. Okay, I'm going to be successful. You would be as successful in either way. Would you rather live here on Earth with everything going on right now or live in Star Wars times with all of the planets and you can go hop around? I think it seems way worse there.

But yeah, the empire and all that shit? I think I can get killed any second. I'll tell you what. I'll move you over to like, okay, you're in post-battle. of Endor. Everything's kind of cool for a while. It's not. That's when fucking

the Mandalorian is set. Yeah. It looks like shit. Everything's bad. Everything's bad. You think the aesthetics of Star Wars? Is that what you're saying? No, it's saying the oppression.

The oppression is still there. I'm saying you're still a podcaster and you're still successful. I'm doing a podcast. That's all you care about? You do a podcast. You know what I mean? I'm saying like life isn't as hard. What can't he be a jizz player?

A jizz gurgler. What? He's that on Earth. I'm just saying, wouldn't it be kind of fun to, like, travel around it and every planet is different? Yeah, there's, like, weird monsters and shit. No, I don't think that. There's too many people with tentacles coming out of the back of their head. I'm not interested in those people.

But you'd be used to it. Like, the first one you see you, you'd be like, oh, gross. But then immediately you get used to it. Yeah, the second one, you're like, oh, this happens. I'm still not used to some people. On earth? Yeah. Yeah.

Like people that I encounter on a regular basis. Still, I used to Brett. You're always surprised by him? What do you think he's going to be? Wouldn't it be cool, though, to have like a light speeder and light speeder? Yeah, you know. Do you mean saver? Do you mean landspeeder?

I guess. Oh, my God. He just mixed up two big different things. What about a landsaber? I knew you were a fake fan girl. I'm a Trekkie. You're a fake fan girl. I'm a bigger fan than you.

Name five robot bounty hunters. Go. Okay, Bobafat. He's not a robot. Oh, robot. Oh, oh, oh. Sorry, I didn't hear the robot part. I'll give you IG 88.

Name four more. Who's the one with, oh, man, I love his aesthetic. He's got sort of like, he's almost got like stewie head, but wearing a mask. He's got like an ovular head. Anyway, I can't remember what he's called.

I don't know. He sounds intriguing. I do like that. I just, it's been a minute since I've been in that universe and really thinking about it. It's been a minute. So I can't remember anymore. I'm, I'm. Oh, you would love this.

Yeah. The other night I was at an event and the bare naked ladies performed. It's been. Wow. What was the event? The event was a charity function celebrating the philanthropy of Chuck Lorry. And the Bear Naked Ladies famously did the Big Bang thing song. So they performed.

And I got to me. them briefly and I did tell I'm a big fan of theirs and I like what my favorite song is. Which one? Of theirs. One of my favorites is Jane. I love Jane. I love that song. That's a great song. And then they performed and I was right up front and they did three songs and it was really fun.

Did they do Jane? Did he look right in your eyes when he went, yep, spin? No, he looks out into the crowd. Also Stephen Page is no longer with them. So yes, they can't really do Jane. Oh, okay. because he's no longer in the band. Fair. I thought they were fantastic.

But they said, but they did, you had spin. Yep. I saw them sing the national anthem. The American national anthem. Interesting. Oh, say. Can you see? Is that right?

Yeah. Where would this have been? Oh, Canada. It was for some sporting event. A sporting event, you said. They do a lot of stuff in America. They can't sing the song. Is it you only thing?

I am, but I feel like wouldn't a Canadian, wouldn't they be... Wouldn't they want to do the Canadian? Are they American citizens? I don't think so. Look. I think that's, honestly, that's, and I'm just, you know, saying what I've read, that's one of the reasons that Stephen Page is no longer in the band because he got busted for a drug offense. And it was no longer that easy for him to go back and forth into the United States.

I did not. I think. I think. What I see it right away? It's me. It's me. It's me All right, we have to take a break

And someone told me lately Everyone deserves a chance to fly And if a low At least I'm flying free To those who drown me Take a message back from me We'll be right back

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And everyone's been very impressed with me. And they've said, well, look at you, Mr. Fancy Pants. And I love to be called Mr. Fancy Pants. So if you ever see me on the street, go ahead and do that. Find the fall places you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too.

And when Quintz asks where you heard about them, let them know it was freedom. It's the best way to support the show. Thanks, Quince. How We Made Your Mother is a rewatch podcast that looks back episode by episode at the hit TV show How I Met Your Mother. It's hosted by me, Josh Radner, along with Siri's co-creator and my friend Craig Thomas. As far, we've had an amazing time talking about seasons one and two, and some legendary friends have joined us along the way, including Neil Patrick Harris, Kobe Smolders, Brian Cranston,

Ashley Williams, Wayne Brady, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey, Joe Mangonello, and my brilliant co-creator Carter Bays, and now we are diving into season three. And this is more than a rewatch, just as Future Ted spent the series looking back and asking the big questions about life and love, we're doing the same thing. Looking back at this show we made, starting 20 years ago,

and interrogating, not just what we did then, but what it means to us now as future Josh and future Craig. And the Himium fans are a huge part of the show. We begin each episode listening to a voice message from one fan, and we end each episode reading a letter from another.

So whether it's your 50th, three watch, or your first time through, follow how we made your mother wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back. And Paul, I have an update. What's going on? The Married Naked Ladies.

The Marr Naked Ladies. Come on, Paul. You were all excited to say this. I thought I was going to get away with it. I thought I was going to get away with it. Not in this crowd. You fuck up one letter. We're all over that.

It's so true. It's in my family. The Bear Naked Ladies sang the Canadian National Anthem before a Bill's Lions game because the Buffalo Bills have a big crossover fan base. There's a lot of Canadian fans. No, it was not there. Oh, that's too bad. So where were you?

I saw, I was on my phone seeing a clip of them singing. Oh, that's fun for you. So where were you? At home? What room were you in? I was in the living room? What chair were you in? The chair nearest the door?

And so what had you been doing before that that led you to look at that? Looking at a different video? What was that video? I don't remember. So you have no idea how you got there? Maybe it was clips from the television show Buffalo Bill? It wasn't. It wasn't.

Gina Davis? Maybe it was something about the lotion being in the basket. I did get the booze again. All right. Here's what happened. Yeah. They sang the Canadian National Anthem before the game. A lot of people get upset.

People are upset now from the mariachi band playing the national anthem. It's like, guys, the U.S. is a melting pot. What are we doing? Like, come on. People are saying things like, I'm officially done with the bills. You moron You moron You moron

Yeah This one thing that you love And you're seriously Going to deny yourself this By the way Who gives a shit about Any music thing That happens before the game

Why are we saying any anthems Before a game? Who gives a fuck? I mean it's so crazy That the NFL is so aligned With the military And Patriots and MLB too Like you go see the Dodgers

And there's fucking jets flying over it Like, what are we doing? Get it out of here. Mentioning like, and this is not, this is not to disrespect anyone in the service, but it's like they're mentioned so much throughout the game. And it's like, how about a moment for fucking teachers? Like, there's so many people that help us. We should sing the national anthem before everything or nothing. Agreed.

So like at the top of this podcast, we should sing the national anthem. Absolutely. And everything you ever do. Any meeting you ever take? If you're listening to you in the car, you have to pull over and put your hand on your heart. Take your hat off. Take your hat off. You can leave your hat on.

People got mad. People got mad. People got mad. People got mad. Hey, Paul, let's switch to a different subject. What's going on with little Richard Cherubi? This fucking guy. I know.

I know. You know, and when I say let's switch to a different subject, it's an unpleasant one. I know. No, we have to talk about it. But we have to talk about it. The thing that galls me so much. And it makes me feel ashamed. Yeah.

I liked him at first. That's the thing. He has a certain way about him that even though you're like, okay, this person isn't necessarily my type of person, but it's just something so charming about him. Yes. I was like, he's not the kind of guy that I am. He's not the kind of person I hang out with, but I do admire him in a certain way. He just makes me feel welcomed into whatever his energy is.

But then that energy can turn against you is the problem. That's the thing. I get much more of the negativity. from him. I'm not really getting the balance. He's absolutely massagin. 100%. It's fine for you guys. You guys are not really real feminist. Like you don't really care. Well, he told us he was a

misogynist the first day we met. We were like, we're cool with that. So you knew that the whole time? Yeah. Yeah. Because I felt like he was in and suddenly he's saying all this kind of shit to me. And it's so degrading and so derogatory. And it's just, I really want to kick his ass. I don't blame you. We were fine with it until it turned against us. And then we were like.

Yeah, yeah. And once I looked up what misogyny is. And I was like, oh, that's not good. Okay. So you weren't really aware when he said it. No, and I also realized, oh, I say some of those things too. Okay, because that's how I'm feeling. I have thought you said some of that stuff under your breath. No, I did for sure. Were you doing like a Serenau thing to him where you were telling him what to say when he was doing

some of that misogynist stuff to learn? No, very early on. Very early. That was way before I realized like, oh, no, I know what this guy's all about it. Okay, because that's upsetting to me. But if that did hurt you, I am sorry. Well, it did. If it did.

Oh, well, then there you. go. So you're sorry? What did I say? If it hurt you, it hurt me. What did I say? You said, if that did hurt you, I'm sorry. Right. So I'm saying it hurt me. Okay. The abuser does not get to dictate the terms. Say, you're sorry. I already said, if it hurt you, then I'm sorry. I'm telling you, it hurt me. Then we're good. I don't understand why this is so difficult. If this was a real fight, I would be... If this was a real fight? Yeah. Well, so what's going on with him? Because he's on the lamb, right?

No, I'm going to kill him. You said he was disintegrated last time we talked about him. Somehow he came back. His atoms reformed? Somehow. This is the thing is I think he's a mythical creature of some sort. I don't think so. Oh, I don't think so.

I think he's just a guy and he got lucky. He's one foot tall. Yeah, I think he got lucky. But he wasn't always one foot tall. Did you know him before he was, One foot tall? You know what? Come to think of it.

I did not know him before that. One foot tall. One foot tall. But he's always just said, I know he's always like, oh, I used to be six feet tall. He told me he used to be able to go back and forth. And I just believed it. I just met the guy. I had no reason to think he was lying.

I think he's a mythical creature who's one foot tall and he can reform himself. No. That you can't use science to defeat him. You need to use magic. Magic. Mm-hmm. One, n'n, me, greg, I mean, yeah, me, gregion. One, two, three.

Anyway, so he's back and he's causing havoc on Hag Claims Aid. Yeah, hagclaimsad.com, the famous website. That's where we get our voicemails, where we have our joke dictionary. It's where our phone plan lives, although we've dismantled the phone plan. Yeah, and hopefully you've dismantled your phones because we found out we uploaded spyware into everyone's phones, and we're sorry about it, technically. It's sort of like those external batteries I got for my phone that every time they would come out with a new one, they would recall it. Yeah. They'd say, this is a ticking time bomb in your home.

Please send it back to us. Those things. Those stress me out. They're stressful. Recently on a plane I was there. And they were like, by the way, if any of you have a battery that starts to smoke, please, you know, I guess it happens so often that now they have to say, please, if your battery starts to explode, please let us know. Yeah, I think it's pretty... Don't hide your light under a bushel.

Why do we really need those? Well, I think it's... Are you out of your mind? Yeah, come on. Why do we need it? No, not. Your phone can start doing that? I think so.

I'm talking about those external ones that you plug into things, power banks. Yes. Well, you can't keep them in your luggage. Ever since my friend's house burned from that, I don't like those. Well, here's what I did. And he's my friend, too. Well, I have them in a burn-proof bag. That's what I do.

Me too. We bought a much of those packs. But then I'm like, that's crazy. Now I have this little burn bag. Now I'm excited for it to burn. I should open my burn bag and see if they've exploded. Yeah, so would open that bag up. It's like a time capsule.

Yeah. It would be pretty crazy if they had. Time capsule edge. Do you ever do a time capsule? I did. I vaguely have a vague memory of it. It was like a kit that we bought in elementary school and it was like a silver plastic cylinder you could open and put things in.

I remember. we did one in elementary school and I remember my brother got in trouble because he wrote on the thing that went in there, school sucks. No, you can't do that. Someone's got to speak truth to power. I don't think that that was. Future generation should know. I agree.

That wasn't the issue is the sentiment of school not being to his liking was not the issue. It was the fact that this being, I believe, 1978, the word sucks was just invented and it was meant to imply that it sucks penis. Yes. And school sucks penises. It still means that. It's a better sentence. So anyway. They get on TV all they like.

That's what it means. He got into trouble for that. We know what you're getting at. Yeah. That's tough. So, yeah. Anyway, so, but I sometimes want to dig up that time capsule because I bet they never did.

That would have been in like 1978. It's a 50th anniversary coming up. I should go dig it up. Would it surprise you to learn? It was dug up one week later? What? By a rat? Yeah, a rat, who ate everything in it.

Eat the pizza? Well, Swain Elementary in Orange County. They ate the pizza. That's what pizza was like for us. Dig up that time capsule. Just put a slice of pizza in a time capsule. This is what we used to eat. So anyway, hackclines8.com, the famous website.

Here's what's going on. People leave messages there, leave voice mouths for us. We don't get them for weeks, if not months. Yes. Little Richard Shrewie re-recorded them in his. characters that he does. Yes. So these are not the original recordings.

We apologize for that. So if you hear your voicemail, you're like, that's not my voice, it's Little Richard Cheruby. Doing an imitation of what he thinks is like the least flattering part about your voice.

And so if we make fun of that, we're not making fun of you. We're making fun of the Little Richard Cherubi, who is terrible and sucks. Yeah. And maybe a mythical creature, I hate that news. We'll get to the bottom of this at some point,

but he's back. He's causing havoc. And we have some voicemails that we can get to, but again with the new hadclaims 8.com, I have not been able to scream these because there's no transcript. So we're just flying blind and these may,

we might have answered these in previous episodes. We have no idea. But we do know it's going to be a little Richard Shrewby doing an absurd voice. All right. So here we go. Here's one. Hmm.

When does it actually start? It's a great question. Oh, we should say, if you want to leave us voicemail, start talking right away. Well, I press play on this and it will not start. So let me try this one.

Here we go. This one won't start either. What is happening with any of these? If you're going to leave us a voicemail, make sure that it starts. Oh, here we go. Hello, Freedom Gang. Second time caller, Anna from the Netherlands here. Nobody talks like that.

So I have a question because I was talking to my girlfriend, and we were talking about who is the celebrity that you would get the most facts, like if you had to do a quiz about everything about their life. would you get the most answers right? Hers was Ashley Tisdale, of course. And I was thinking that it is probably Lauren, not because I, you know, obsessively stalk her Wikipedia, your Wikipedia, but because over the years, I've just gotten so much information.

I do tell you a lot. So my question is, what is the celebrity that you know the most about? Which quiz would you win? I mean, some would say it would be Stephen Page from the Bare Naked Ladies because I was able to bust out a fact about it. A lot of stuff. Oh, that's an interesting question. Hmm.

I, oh gosh, including family member names? I feel like my first thought is like SNL as a topic. From like certain decades. Like I definitely like studied a lot of that. I think that's more of a pop culture. Okay. So then a person that I would know a lot about. Maybe someone who was on SNL?

Yeah, but like I mean, yeah, like I know like a lot about Chris Farley. I don't know I think it would be Peter O'Toole for me I've read a lot about him and yeah I feel like Orson Wells maybe I mean I when we did our Citizen Kane episode about a year ago on my other show which you have to do by the way

I am not available you have to do it I'm not available oh okay I was able to rattle off a lot about him from memory so I was kind of like oh I retained a lot of information about him. I was going to say, I know a lot about a lot of people that I just, like, Rosie O'Donnell, I know a lot about. Right.

Yeah. There's a lot of people like, we're just like, yeah, I've heard about Oprah. Oprah is probably, I know a lot about her life. I know Ellen DeGeneres didn't invite Dakota Johnson to a party once. I knew that too, yeah. So probably Ellen. I was at one party. No, wasn't it that Dakota invited Ellen, but Ellen?

No, I thought it was she didn't get an invite and was like. And Ellen was like, why didn't you come to my birthday party? And she's like, you didn't invite me. Yeah. All I thought it was that Dakota didn't invite Ellen. And Ellen said, you didn't invite me to your party. We got to look this up. And Dakota said, yes, I did.

Yes. Because I remember I talked to this person over there. That's right. Ellen asked Dakota how her 30th birthday party was and jokingly complain. How come I wasn't invited? And she said, actually, no, that's not the truth, Ellen. You weren't invited. Okay.

That's not the truth is a harsh way to say it. It really is. But also, how come I wasn't invited is an absurd question I asked. Yeah, yeah. And also, especially because you were. Yeah. Like, it's not so absurd for you. Like, it has to be like you know you would never be invited.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. I had a party with her once. Ellen? Yes, and she just stayed in the corner. Did she didn't dance the whole time? No, she didn't dance the whole time.

She loves dancing. I was like. If she danced through the party like she does through the audience, that would be one of the most shocking twists. I was also in an elevator once and she didn't with her. She didn't dance. She didn't dance. She didn't dance in the elevator? I know.

It's like if anywhere here. She should be doing it all day long. Years ago, we knew somebody who worked on Ellen when it first started. And when it first became like huge. And the audience would have to dance, you know, between segments or whatever. Like would they go to a commercial or something, come back from commercial, the audience would be dancing in the stands. And Zach Alfenakis went to a taping and just sat there with his arms folded. He didn't think he was going to be on camera, though.

Yeah. He was just there to support his. friend who worked on the show. But somebody in the control room was like, God, dear, they were furious. And he wasn't famous. And he was just on the cusp of, like, it was right before the hangover. And so people in the know knew him. And the clip got circulated everywhere.

And it was very funny of him just, like, annoyed while everyone's dancing around. Some producer was absolutely apoplectic. Like, why isn't he dancing? I love that. It was very funny. All right. Here, let's, uh, anyway, Anna, Anna, I hope that answered your. Anna served of your question. Love to your girlfriend and Ashley Tisdale. Yes, here we go. Here's someone else.

Hello, Freedom Gang. I have a quick anecdote and then a quick question. Okay. So for my anecdote, I last weekend just got recertified for CPR and first aid. And during that training, they show little videos of like, here's what to do in this situation. And in the scenario for learning about heart attacks, there was an older woman who was like clutching her chest and she's like I have pain in my neck and my back and I looked around the room to be like come on guys are we laughing at this and nobody batted an eyelash and I just thought I had to tell you guys they don't have freedom disease that's crazy to sit there and not laugh at that anyways for my question it also contains a little bit of an anecdote I saw a clip of Paul doing varietopia a while back singing a vampire by Olivia Rodrigo. That's true. I did do that. I've just been haunted by it ever since.

I loved it. And so my question is if you could have any artist or actor or a comedian, I guess, cover any song. What would it be? What might that sound like? Any Canadian cover any song? Is that the question? No, dear. Any artists cover any song?

Any artists cover any song? Well, Kelly Clarkson recently covered Golden from. K-pop and it's so good. Her covers are always great. She's amazing. She's one of the best singers we've ever We've ever had. But she It's so good and I thought that was amazing but I don't need that to happen for me.

My kids love it. Oh my God, that's a great question. Do you have? I have one that I have always kind of wanted which is I would love for Fleet Foxes to cover certain Joanna Newsom songs. I love the Joanna Newsom versions but I but you know they're very friendly and I've seen shows that they've done together and I just think some of her songs would sound so good with like bridges and balloons in

particular I think would sound so cool if that would be cool yeah anyway that's fine I was surprised some years ago to discover that there's no Tom Jones Christmas album oh yeah I guess you would think like he does religious music sometimes yeah but like that would be that's a slam down rotation every year I always think every artist should make us a Christmas album because it's just free money. Exactly. I don't know why you wouldn't do it. Exactly.

I don't know why you wouldn't do it. Right. Are you saying we got to do it next year? Are you thinking when I'm not? This year. Yeah, we'll probably be able to get that together. How hard is? Oh, but another one is with Tom Jones that I always think about whenever I hear this song is

Gissimony from Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh, him doing it? Yeah. So that would be, I only want to say that if there is a way, take this cup away from me. He would crush it. He would crush it. He held on his voice for a long time. He was just in the Greek.

I was kind of like, would he still sound good? I can't tell him. I mean he would still sound good. I don't think he has the full power anymore. But he had it for a long time. Tom Jones. Yeah. Tom Jones, yeah.

Cheers. Cheers. Coversed, uh, during the pandemic. He just did a little thing from his home and his piano and he's saying, uh, what is it? From a distance. Wow. God is watching us. And I love his virgin.

He didn't sing the whole thing. But I always wish that there was a whole thing of that because I just loved how he sang it. Um, I, two things. I just got into a new, a band that's new to me. I don't know how new they are. The Favors, which is Phineas and Ash. Finius, Billy Ish his brother. Who's Ash?

Ash is a singer. She's a country singer. Oh, yeah. She's really good. I'm very into a couple of their songs. They're on repeat. But they have a little bit of an influence. A couple of the songs feel a little Fleetwood Mac-ish,

where I'm like, I would like to hear them cover Fleetwood Mac songs. Or Fleetwood Mac covering their songs. I'd be down for that, too. Actually, I'd be really down for that. Yeah. And who else? But that's the first thing that comes to mind. I'll stick with that.

There's lots of things I would love to hear. Yeah. I would love to hear. Fun question. You know, there was a particular song that Kulap liked the song but didn't like the singer. And so she found like an AI version on Spotify. Two things we don't like anymore. We don't have Spotify anymore.

But an AI of like a different famous singer singing that song. And so she would play that sometimes instead of the singer, she didn't like. But see, I just thought about... She said it to me, I'll cover it. Oh, okay. This is my AI is so scary because I was thinking... Well, that's the thing is...

It was of you singing that vampire song. Oh, no. If you said Tom... When you said Tom Jones should have a Christmas album, I was like, I'm sure someone could slap that together. That's just so depressing. Slap in the bass with the AI. I did find YouTube clips of like some Christmas special that he did a million years ago.

And so I kind of cut some of the songs out of that. Yeah. It's not quite the same. By the way, if you haven't heard Tom Jones's version of Let It Be. I haven't actually. Isn't it Let it be? Let it be. Let it be.

No, Hey Jude. I'm sorry. Hey, Jude. Oh, well, that's a song we know very well. Yeah. Hey, Jude, it's very funny. Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better. Better, better, better, better, better, no. Nah, nah, nah, nah, na, na, nah. Na na, nah, na, na, nah. Hey, Jude. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey, hey, Jude, shoot, choot, chute, tut, tut, tut. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's my favorite cover. Hey, no, no. Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next week. Yes.

If you want to hear our plugs, go to the last week's episode and you'll hear them all. Of course, we want everyone to go see us. You're saying them again? I'm saying we want everyone to go see us in December 12th in San Diego for our final Comedy Bang Bang Live episode ever. Yes, please. ever. Who knows? Who knows? Well, what's the date right now, mid-October? Mary and I will be in Chicago on November 5th. Come see us, do improv. The links are in my bio on Instagram, or you can just Google it. And then we also will be at the Bell House in Brooklyn on November 14th. Please come. And Paul and I are going to be doing this Muppets from outer space thing. Is that what it's called? That's right. October 18th and people can live stream it, I would imagine. And go to see it at Don. It, it's a day.

dynasty typewriter. And look, I'm doing the thrilling adventure hour. I'm doing Super Ego. I'm doing the Pat Pat Club. I'm doing Plan Nine from outer space. I'm doing the Muppets aforementioned. I'm doing the Everything Now show live. I'm doing some stand-up.

Go to Paul F.tomkins.com slash live and you will see all the dates and ticket information there. Okay. Okay. And listen, follow us on, follow us in and on Instagram. Follow us and on. Q and on. On Instagram.

Leave us a voicemail at HankclaimsApe.com. Send us a threacher at freedom USA at gmail.com. We love you. We really appreciate you listening. This is our, uh, uh, we love doing this show and we love doing it for you. Yes. We love it. Goodbye.

Damn, do, do.