Threedom - Whenever I Hear The Word Ass I Feel Crazy

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Paul, Lauren, and Scott discuss mystery beeping and vampires and open Scott's Christmas gifts before playing Christmas Find Out Who Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so-called midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building

a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now,

wherever you get your podcasts. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. 16 grand, somewhere in there. Gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole.

Welcome to The Dough. I'm X-Maya. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moolah baby. The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it again. What? Freedom!

I did it. We got you. We got you. Why did you guys, I thought for sure you were gonna do it that time. It was a trick. It was a trick. It was a trick and a treat.

Here comes Santa Claus. Here comes Santa Claus. Right down Santa Claus Lane. What makes the ego on this guy naming his street after himself? Did he name it after himself or? Was he named after the street? His parents had sex on Santa Claus Lane his street after himself. Did he name it after himself or? Was he named after the street? His parents had sex on Santa Claus Lane.

And they were like. I never fucking thought about that. He was conceived on Santa Claus Lane? Wait, was George Burns conceived on George Burns Avenue where Cedars is? Yes. I know that Bryce Dallas Howard's middle name is Dallas because that's where she was conceived.

And her siblings have middle names from where they were conceived. Oh, and then Brooklyn, what's the. Brooklyn what's the no not Brooklyn Decker but Brooklyn bomber? Yeah that's one thing. Brooklyn! The one who is the the child of the Beckhams. Brooklyn Beckham.

Yeah. Sorry. Clearly I was reaching for the name. He was conceived in Brooklyn. How can you tell where someone's he? I can't remember. I think their kid is named Brooklyn, who is a boy. I have no idea.

How can you tell where someone is conceived? Like if you're traveling a lot. You have to ask him. Like Ron Howard undoubtedly was. You have to ask your wife. Maybe they were filming a movie there and then they just knew it was the whole time. What do you think he was filming? Was he filming Apollo 13? Probably. And he was so horny coming back from set.

She's like 25. We could trace it back. Yeah, when did that movie come out? 97 maybe. Right, that's wrong. That doesn't make sense. No one knows. Who knows at this point? Isn't that weird? No one knows when Apollo 13 came out? And no one can ever know. I mean the the 13 would be a clue, you would think. Yeah. I guess it came out in 1913. Yes, yeah. 1913. It's one of the first movies some would say.

What if all the movies back then were just these silent films and then you went to a theater and Apollo 13 was there. You were just like, what the fuck? And the audience is crying and scared because it's so real. Like Charlie Chaplin falling down somewhere. And then next one, were they in space? No, but then Charlie Chaplin falls off a spaceship.

Oh man. He walks through Apollo 13, the movie. Yeah. Hey, welcome to Freedom, I'm Scott. I'm Paul. And I am Lauren. Yeah. It's almost Christmas.

Almost Christmas. Christmas is coming, I will say the goose is getting fat. You don't fetch the goose. That's not nice. I heard the goose was on Ozempic. The goose has Ozempic bill. Wait, does Ozempic give you a? Gives you a face, they say.

Really? Yeah, there was some. I think it was a short-lived sort of thing people were saying. Yeah. I don't think it's true. Yeah, here's what the face is. They are thinner. You lost weight. And happy. short-lived sort of thing people were saying. It doesn't feel like- I don't think it's true. Yeah, here's what the face is. They are thinner.

They lost weight. Yeah. And happy. I had a picture that somebody posted for, I don't know, it was like at midnight or after midnight or something like that. And then somebody in the comments was like, oh no, he's one of the celebrities,

he's got an Ozempic face. And I was like, it's an old picture, asshole. Ozempic face. And also, who are you to judge people like, leave people alone. Unless you're a judge. Everyone needs to leave people alone and leave their appearance alone.

If you're a judge, you can do it though. A judge can say if you have an ozempic face. Of course, they let you do it. If you go to court for anything, the judge can read you top to bottom, baby. And mostly focus on ozempic face. That's their main thing that they want. It's guilty or not guilty for ozempic faith. That's their main thing. It's guilty or not guilty for Ozempic faith.

And then guilty or not guilty for the thing that you did. The judge like bangs the gavel, goes, the library is open. Do you have a Ghostbuster on your shirt? Who is that? No, it's Santa Claus. Oh, OK. It's Santa Claus. It says bad things happen in Philadelphia, and Santa Claus running away from snowballs and batteries.

Oh, OK. Yeah. Wow. Have you ever had a battery thrown at you? No, that was something that happened in high school. That I know of. People would throw batteries and also sometimes a battery in a sock would get or a lock in a sock. A lock in a sock. Not as like a casual thing. That would be more like a crazy fight that happened.

I've heard of a cock in a sock. Red hot chili pepper. That's like prison shit. There was one time I walked by a fight that included a razor blade when I was in middle school. Whoa. Kids are dumb. I remember the chaos in the hallway

and the kid had a razor blade. Did you say in middle school? Yeah. Oh my God. I know. It's crazy. Can you imagine just like the consequences of something like that?

Yeah. Kids, you gotta think consequences. It's crazy. Can you imagine just like the consequences of something like that? Yeah. Kids, you gotta think consequences. Boy Prince, let me just say your new song, Consequences. Kids, you gotta think about what's gonna happen. C-PAP machine. And then a C-PAP machine. Little C-PAP machine.

Ha ha ha ha. Guys, I- Baby I got to breathe. I wish she'd done that. I wish. And I feel like it was a misstructuring. I have an announcement. Yeah. I live in a beep house. I live in a beep house. What does that mean? Does you have to have a smoke alarm that's going?

We have a smoke alarm. We don't know where it is. I live in a beep house. God damn, that's crazy. I... Let's have a treasure hunt and try to find it. I... here's what I suspect. Gavanger hunt? I'm the only person who...

Bee punt? Everyone went looking for it. I'm the only person who has this suspicion. But I think it's in like the crawl space in our garage, which I've never been up inside. I don't think you want to go there. I've never been all up in that. Great place for a smoke detector.

It's like a store. Yeah, I don't know. I think someone must have put some old smoke detectors in there or something. I don't know. But it's beeping. We can't find it. It's been beeping for a month every 60 seconds. We had this in my house and it was crazy. And we were, we both stood in a room just going like, it's over there. And then we'd like run over there and then it's like, it's not over there. And then we'd run over the other side. It's not over there. And I thought it was the neighbors. This is reminding me of a film I saw recently,

called in the tall grass, which was an horror film. Sounds scary. Where people go into, let's face it, some tall grass. Are they escaping someone that someone accidentally brought a smoke alarm? Can we just say sometimes the title of the movie is connected to the action within the movie. Sometimes it's thematic. This is a little like Home Alone is on the cusp.

This is a little inside baseball because we're in the industry, but sometimes yes, the film's title is connected to the actions that take place in the film. Once you recognize that though, it's really fun to look for the Easter eggs of why it's called that. Yeah.

People went into the tall grass, then they couldn't get out again. They could never get out of the tall grass. why it's called that. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. People went into the tall grass, then they couldn't get out again. They could never get out of the tall grass. And it played with time. What if they brought a lawnmower? And space. It reminds me of... Nobody did.

Where's the lawnmower man? Field of Dreams. Oh, if only he'd been there. Do you think they saw Field of Dreams and they thought, what if it was scary? Yeah. What if we could go into the field? And that's where the baseball players are stuck. Yeah. Oh, my God. Lawnmower man meets Field of Dreams.

How awesome would that be? Wow. He comes out of that corn field. He comes coming? He comes coming out of that. He comes coming. Pfft. Ew.

Oh, that's too fun. Yeah. You're the one who started it. No, no, sound effects are always too, that's where we cross the line. And if that's your sound effect, you have to go to the doctor. If that's what it sounds like, it sounds disgusting.

Very messy. Guys, it's time for a department. you have to go to the doctor. If that's what it sounds like, it sounds disgusting. Very messy. Guys, it's time for a department. Are you ready? Yeah. By the way, the one thing on the beep house, I read it ends about a month. Why are you, is this a term you coined or a term you found?

No, you think it'll take a month for it to run out? It says a month, it's been probably a month. It's still going every 60 seconds. My friend had this in his neighbor's apartment. Every 60 seconds. So he was in an apartment building and his neighbor's apartment always had a fucking beep and he would do, he called the landlord,

he'd tell the person. That's a loud beep. That he would tell the person, and it was his right next door, like they shared a wall. And they were like, they like didn't care when he told them. Right. And then he eventually brought over batteries

to fix it himself. Because he was like, wow, it's driving me crazy. He gave them the batteries and did that solve it? I guess they did solve it because I never talked about it again. Huh? But I remember he sent me a video and I was like, that's mad. I would be Fiori Osa. I'd be Mad Max. And they had their door open with like a screen door and they would just have the beep going. I like, how do you live? It's a small place to have a beep right above your head. Yeah, absolutely. I sort of tune it.

I mean, it's faint enough in our kitchen. It's loudest in the gym and I don't have a problem because I'm never there. But you have a gym, which is so lux. Well, it's a room that has gym equipment in it. Well, I don't have space for that. But you can sleep in there if you want. It's merely a room that has gym equipment in it. Well, I don't have space for that. But you can sleep in there if you want. It's merely a room that has gym equipment in it.

But it's faint in the kitchen in the family room where we spend most of our time. It's still so giorno. I've learned to sort of- You've learned to love it. Yeah, I'm gonna miss it. No, I don't really hear it all that much anymore, but then I wonder when it dies out if I'm gonna notice

or if I'll be like a week later, like, oh, I haven't heard that beep in a week. And then it'll go beep. That's how that's. What if it's conditioned you to ignore smoke alarms? Yeah. Then you're gonna smoke to death. The other problem is, is every time we cook anything,

the smoke alarm goes off. Great! I have that every once, so I don't know when it's gonna happen, but that, and it doesn't seem to be based on smoke. It'll just go like crazy. I'm like if I'm making something in the smell it just like All right, all right, what's this department it's we've done it before we'll do it again. Yeah Paul's problems I'm so sorry to hear that it's time for this department. So I'm getting off the road, my final road trip of the year. Yeah. You're not going anywhere for Christmas?

No, we are going, but I don't count that because that's not work. You've been doing so much. So you're a liar. You know what? Yeah. And here's the thing. Here's the thing that I've been dealing with for the past, I want to say, month, and it has gotten worse. Hemorrhoids.

Sorry. No, I did have hemorrhoids back in the day. Don't tell me that. It was bad news. I thought something was serious. I had no idea. Oh, I think you told us earlier. Oh, you told us earlier.

You were like, daddy, what's in my butt? Daddy. And then the doctor. Daddy choked then the doctor. This is that was pre record. And my dad was in the in the hospital with me and the doctor said, I'm going to have to ask you some questions and it might be uncomfortable. Is it OK if your dad's here? And I was like, yeah, it's like my dad was like, I'm going have to ask you some questions and it might be uncomfortable. Is it okay if your dad's here? And I was like, yeah, it's fine. And my dad was like, I'm gonna wait outside.

Bye. So. So you taking some nasty shit, son? I have, yeah, that's the number one question. Yubbing, straining, son. Sorry, my dad didn't wanna hear that. I didn't raise any sons straight at school. So I have this, I have like a pinch nerve or something in my neck that sometimes I can feel it connect all the way to my arm.

Right arm, right arm. So people don't tell me I'm having a stroke. Dr. Vinny Boobots? The guy who worked on my nerve on my foot. I don't think that went great. Didn't he say like, you'll be fine, who cares? I think I am fine. So it causes my- It's all good?

I think I'm- But remember how he didn't care? I'm like probably 75%. Yes, I do know how he didn't care. It causes my hand to feel like it's asleep, just out of nowhere. Right. And it's fucking maddening. Right. Circulation, probably, or no, it's a nerve. It could be good at asleep just out of nowhere. Right. It's fucking maddening. Right.

Circulation probably. Could be good at a certain time of day. I just had a physical a month ago and I told my doctor about it and he said it's probably a nerve thing. You need to go to a specialist. Yeah. But so there's that. That's hard. So are you going to go to a doctor? That's good.

You should go to a doctor. You're going to see a specialist? If I have to. First, I'm going to a doctor? You should go to a doctor. You're gonna see a specialist? If I have to, first I'm gonna try to get a massage. Okay, you know what I mean? Come over here, I'll give it to you. Yeah, get over there. To your room that has gym equipment?

No, thank you. So there's that, which sometimes woke me up. Also a combination of that and sleeping in shitty hotel beds and stuff. Yeah, I'm woke. Then I'm gone broke. Then this morning, I'm- Doodle-doo. Et cetera.

I'm getting ready to come over here. I blow my nose. Nice. Out of respect. Thank you for doing that before you got here. Yes, of course. Start your day with a little blow. And my fucking nose started bleeding.

Oh yeah. What? It's dry, it's dry. It's dry. It's dry. You gotta go to Cool Ops doctor for the cocaine. Yeah. I do need that cocaine.

It's on my nosebleed. Yeah. So I deal with that. Why do they call it blow when it's really suck? That's a good question. Honestly, it's really snort. Yeah. Isn't it great we have that word?

Yeah, snort. Do people call it snort? Do people call it snort? Do you want to do some snort? Do you want to do some snort? It's not a bad slang term. If it was what it was the whole time, we wouldn't think anything of it. Who feels like snorting?

Then I walk out to the car, get in the car. All right. Because I've been away for weeks. All car, get in the car. All right. My all my because I've been away for weeks. All your possessions are in your car. All your way. Everything. Janey is moving me out your wigs and your your flippy ties that go up and down. Yeah, exactly. My eyes, my glasses where the eyes fall out on Springs. From your shows my squirting flower. Yes. You're the Joker, by the way. All my tattoos. Yeah joker by the way. All my tattoos fell off.

All your tattoos fell off? All my tattoos fell off. Can you believe it? Your pistol that comes... I'm so pissed. The word bang comes out on a flag. Yeah. And then I have to salute.

And then someone... The American flag. Someone in government died so I had to shoot it a half mast. I would pay for you to do a whole set that is all that stuff. Like a whole stand-up set. That sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, it'd be terrible. a whole set that is all that stuff. Like a whole stand-up set. That sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, it'd be terrible.

I'd have to put all that... I'm not even talking about like it wouldn't be funny. I'm saying like logistically for me, it would fucking suck so bad. I think it would become very funny by the end of it. Like it would start off funny, then it would get unfunny, and then it would get funny again. It's like the guy's act from Baby Reindeer. That's not the part I remember. I've had a good Christmas watch, by the way.

Absolutely. The reindeer aspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. If Netflix had any sense of fun at all, they'd do that. They put that in their Christmas movies. Now they're like, what's our next baby reindeer?

Maybe they Photoshop Santa hats on every character. I think that is the bravest thing about baby reindeer is this guy depicting how much his comedy sucks. I think that is the bravest thing about baby reindeer is this guy depicting how much his comedy sucks. So all my tires are low. Jesus Christ, you can't get a break. And it's this thing where it says you can drive safely under, you know, certain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's going to do that? And so when you texted and said you were going to be 10 minutes late, I was like, great, I'll fill up my tires. My car runs on electricity so it does a thing where you can turn the ignition you get out of the car car doesn't stay on car goes off car goes off car's like I'm looking out for you. Yes this is good because this is a it is but yes because the the the I have a tire uh pumper upper that you need to put into the cigarette. Yes yes yes so it needs to be your own tire pumper upper that you need to put into the cigarette. Yes.

It's your own? Yes, yes. So it needs to be- You have your own tire pumper upper? Yeah, I'll send you the link. These things are fucking great. I have one right over there, it's great. It's great, it's good to have in your car.

Yeah, give me that, I should have that. But I couldn't, I've done it before and I couldn't remember, wait, how do I do this? Because of course the car would turn off and then the thing wouldn't turn on. Right. And so I have to wait until after the recording to do it. Does not the- And when you, and I could be wrong.

Okay, Shakespeare. Does not the cigarette lighter still charge when the car is off? Apparently not. With electric car, maybe not. Here's what I have to do is I have to leave the key in the vehicle. Oh, right, yeah.

You need a warm body to sit in there. No, I don't. If I leave the key in there, it'll say, okay, somebody's in here. Lauren was offering herself to sit in her car. I just was saying, If I leave the key in there, it'll say, okay, somebody's in here. Lauren was offering herself. I just was saying I'm just a warm body with nothing to do. She's, I'm a married man. She's talking about her warm body.

I would never sit in a man's car, whether he's there or not. Okay? It's not going to happen. And Mike won't see me slipping. Ah, Christmas time. and Mike won't see me slipping. There's a key there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I yeah, try that massage ASAP, but I think you need to see a special Try to get your appointment right now, I mean there's regardless of massage Yeah, it'll take a while to get you know what that's good advice. Thank you so much. That is good advice I'm a good advisor. You know what that's real dad advice. Thank you. You're a real dad now. I'm a real dad Look at me. I get your real dad. Look at me. You're a real dad now. I'm a real dad now.

I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. Yeah, I gave that advice to Emmy. Get your doctor's appointment. How is she? How is Emmy? She's great. She's so cute. We went on the holiday train ride.

We're doing that next week. It's at Griffith Park and it's a light up thing. It's only 10 minutes, right? It's only 10 minutes. Yeah. It's uh. Oh, okay. No, cuz I can't. You can fit it into your business. Here's the thing. You have 10 minutes. 10 minutes is like like sort of I'm going, I don't wanna drive over there for 10 minutes and the other part of me says, I don't want to be stuck on a train for longer than 10

minutes in case someone doesn't like it. Someone well, Gigi or how I mean, because I, we did her birthday at travel town, which has, I was there. Paul was unavailable. He wasn't invited. They go around that track twice. They do. And the set.

So Gigi was first, she was a really little baby and she, she's like, I want to go. And then it started going again. I went, Oh no. And I was, she was, yeah, no, this is, then started going again, I went, oh no. And she was, yeah. No, this is, it's good. The lights are great. You like the great thing about that age is you just like point out things and go like,

do you see this? I see it, I see it. Yeah. And there's nothing more to it. But then I did a bit where we also went on the Halloween one. Oh, was it scary? No, it's not scary. It's just light. It's not even lights, it's during the day. During that month, scary? No, it's not scary. It's not scary. It's just

it's not even lights. It's during the day. During that month, they have like, you know, ghosts and skeletons and stuff. There shouldn't be Halloween stuff during the day. Sounds scary. But it's not Halloween. It's a nighttime. They don't move is what I'm saying. It's just cutouts. Okay. And so and she loved those. She loves Halloween. And so does Holly. So she loved those. So like we're on the Christmas one. I go, where do you think Dracula is? And then she spent the whole rest of the trip going like, where's Dracula? Where's Dracula?

Can't they put a Santa hat on him? I know. The fuck? Let Dracula have Christmas. Let Dracula. Can you imagine exchanging blood with Dracula? We started watching interview with the vampire last night. Look what I got you today, some blood.

That AMC. I got you some, some blood. That AMC. I got you some blood. Have you seen that? Does it not fit? Where I come from is very good. AMC interview with a vampire, that show? That chaff and stuff. Oh, you know what?

Yeah, I haven't seen it that I hear. We fell off on that, but we watched it. Pretty fucked. We just put it on last night and I was like, this is horny. It's very horny. Oh my God. It's horny really.

There were butts flying in the air, levitating after fucking. What? It was literally wild. And I was like, this is- While the people were on the ground. This is fun. Detachable butts.

Yeah. It's all pretty exciting. Not just the horny parts. I also like this. So this Christmas, if you want to get horny. Yeah, put on interview with a vampire. This Christmas. If you want to get horny. Yeah. Put on interview, interview with a vampire. Christmas. If you want to get horny, put on interview with a vampire, the TV show, what a day to be horny Christmas day. Yeah. But you know, a lot of children conceived on Christmas day and then that's their name.

Is that true? Christmas day. I might kind of crush on a little girl named Christmas when he was growing up. And I think it's such a cute name. The only time I've ever come across it is in two things of media. A Christmas story? All about that little girl named Christmas. A little girl named Christmas. Is that not what it's about?

I'm using my red run finger to say no. First, of course, obviously there's Dr. Christmas Jones. Oh, of course. That James Bond movie. Die Another Day or whatever it was. Yeah. But then also there was a Threes Company episode that revealed that Chrissy's name is Christmas.

That's actually a very funny, that's a very funny name. It was Christmas Snow. That's funny. It is funny. It's actually, it would be quite a sweet and really nice. It makes sense. It's actually a really cute be quite a sweet and real life. It actually makes sense. It's actually a really cute name and funny for her character and I loved that show when

I was a kid. Well, how come people aren't allowed to watch it? I wasn't allowed to watch it. Of course not. Oh, it's lascivious. A man living with two women. Because he was pretending to be gay. That was the problem with it.

I never understood that. You never understood? Let me explain to you. So, when a man loves a man. What does it mean? And then what do they do? And it was based on a man. What does it mean? And then what do they do?

And it was based on a British TV show. Was it? It was a show called Man About the House, which I've never seen. It was very classy. Wow. Yeah, I was never allowed, I remember it came on once when we were over

at a relative's house and my parents were very disapproving. I mean, it's actually a pretty- Saying I should leave the room and stuff like this. Pretty crazy plot or concept for that era. But imagine being worried about the morality of a TV show. Yeah, I mean... I feel like that's like every Brady Bunch, like it's like you have other things that work.

Well, it was the 60s, this is the 70s. Okay, they're different, yeah, 70s is more free love, as they say. Imagine, we can be concerned about the morality. It was groovy. No, it was disco. The 70s is more groovy than the 60 morality. It was groovy. No, it was disco. The 70s is more groovy than the 60s. It was more disco.

No more. The 70s had more Jimi Hendrix. It was more Caucasian. But imagine being concerned about the morality of a TV show that begins like this. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Come and look on the door. Come and look on the door.

We'll be waiting for you. We'll be waiting for you. Where the kisses are hers and hers and his. Please come and eat too. Beep beep beep beep. Take a look at us too. We're dancing on our floor. To a dance that is new. To a step that is new.

There's a wonderful place that needs you baby. Please come and eat too. Beep beep beep beep. Pizza in there because the first person keeps getting it wrong. Pizza? Alright, we have to stick with it. Pizza? No.

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I know. I knew that too. And I didn't need to be told. Scott, you're not breaking any news here. Stop telling us when we're back. We know. You are so condescending. Guys, I have, I was at a store the other day.

Oh, wow. I know. It's a store the other day. Wow. I know, it's a weird brag, but. Louis Vuitton. But I found a couple of Christmas gifts for you and I wanted to give them to you. Wow, okay, this is crazy because I'm gonna have gifts next time.

Next time. Oh yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah. But I'm so excited. Paul. If this is rude or insulting, I'll be so mad. It's not. This is a good gift. This is the little golden book of Seinfeld.

Why did this happen? That's amazing. What the f... I know you're getting... Why did that happen? I know you're doing stand up again. And why are they Funko Pops? Because it's put out by the Funko Pop people? I don't know. I know you're getting why did that happen? I know you're doing stand up again. Why are they Funko pops because it's put out by the Funko pop people? I don't know. I thought this would inspire

you. Yeah, it's a little golden book and it has Funko pops of the Seinfeld characters on it. I haven't read it. I'm not one of those people who reads the book before. She had glasses occasionally. She did have glasses occasionally. It's true. Okay. Well, they included the soup Nazi. That's great It doesn't say Nazi, but I know Soup man But I I'm not one of these people who reads a book before you give it as a gift I always find that like so strange where you you get a book from someone and there's like fingerprint smudges on the papers and stuff Chocolate, I don't think I've ever had that experience.

Yeah, I just want with it to be nice. But anyway, I thought that would, you know. That's a nice present. It's very inspiring. It's very inspiring. Thank you. You're welcome. This is Putty. He works with cars. I mean, that's a lot, but what he does say is pretty silly.

Do they give any examples? Feels like an Arby's night. Can you read the front of the book, please? The front of the book. A little golden book. Seinfeld. Pop! Who are these people?

That's the title. And it has the Seinfeld gang rendered as Funko Pops and some little pigeons. And they're standing in the middle of the street in New York City. I love it. Remember the pigeon episode? I mean that. There's a Gremlins one. There's a goonies one. There's a friend's one and there's a Scooby Doo one. And then of course you got your classic,

the pokey little puppy. You got toodle. He's a train. The shy little kitten never heard of it and scuffy the tugboat. I feel like the back should have just shown other TV related ones or Funko pop. Yeah. Things that you might be into because you bought that one. Yeah. Cause you're then you're equating the pokey little puppy with Seinfeld. No, no, no. Figure out your demo. Yeah. Yeah. And then get back to me. Well, what do you say? Thank you, Scott. Oh, you're quite welcome. Thank you. And Lauren, here's did I get? Oh shit! Here's yours.

This rules! Operation, but it's Shrek themed. No. So it's basically like, have you ever wanted to cut Shrek open? I have! Why did I get this? This is so awesome. You know I hate Shrek.

I'd love to pull his organs and bones out. I thought this would be good for you in the kitchen. This is hilarious. Open it up. Open it up. Wow, this is really good. When I saw that Operation was doing a cut, I was like, oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this.

I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to pull his organs and bones out. I thought this would be good for you in the kitchen. This is hilarious. Open it up. Open it up. Wow, this is really good. When I saw that Operation was doing a collab with Shrek, DreamWorks Shrek, that is.

This is really- I couldn't believe it. I'm kind of like, who came up with this? Operation X Shrek. I gotta- And who is operating on Shrek? Cause you would think it would be, you know, the Katzenberg, not Katzenberg, Michael Eisner character,

you know, the prince or whatever it is or the king. Right. Yeah. They kind of have just like random doctors. Random German looking doctor guy. Wait, the, the, the king, prince, whatever. Yeah. That's based on Michael Eisner? Yeah. Why?

Cause Katzenberg didn't like him. So he said make a cartoon that looks sort of like this guy. And make him really short and feeling. This is great. Look at this high quality. Insecure about being short. Look at this high quality. This is beautiful. Obviously, we'll post pictures. So Strek has a big red nose.

That's the classic operation nose. You put some batteries in and we'll get the buzzer going. If you think Donkey isn't there, that is the wisdom of a fool because donkeys Right up there in the upper Body parts. Oh, yeah Here are some of the body parts that has yours frog in throat heartburn onion breath earwax pain in the butt

That's the donkey one. Pixie bites, green thumb, chest cold, slug, slugs and grubs, humongous fungus. That's a big mushroom. Okay. Mud flaps and toe jam. I got a problem here. Okay. What's your problem? How could you? Donkey is a, I don't know what he's doing in the operating theater. First of all, but also you remove something from him. Yeah. Maybe there's some sort of transplants. Like operation, there wasn't like a guy over there that you also had to,

oh, and take this guy's thing out of his skull. And also what you're removing is- Two for one. You're removing a donkey shape from his face. What? And it's called pain in the butt. That's really- It's very, they meant it to be pain in the ass,

meaning he has... That's fun for parents. But he should be by his butt. Yeah, I agree. No, I totally agree. Oh, this is really exciting though. The fatal flaw. When you get money... Okay, I forget that there's money involved in this game.

There's money involved in Operation. Because ass has a double meaning. Yeah. And, but... So you could have said it. You could have. And it It wouldn't be offensive. If you said pain of the ass. Thank you.

I love you. I have malda ass. They use ass in the New York Times crossword all the time. And I'm, I'm constantly like, should they be doing that? Does it get you a little horny? It gets, it gets me super horny. Whenever I hear the word ass. I feel just like crazy. So you're opening the money now. You're opening every part of the money because I want to see.

So there's like donkey dollars, donkey dollars, Shrek dollars. So like donkeys on the 100 Shrek's on the 500. Oh, I have a backpack full of those. So you really see the hierarchy of Shrek because Shrek's on the 500. This is yeah. He is on yeah, he's on the 100. He's worth more, we have to assume. And then we have these beautiful cards that you pull. That you pull in order to, I guess those tell you which thing to pull out.

They're gorgeous. I didn't get you batteries, but I'm sure your neighbor can come over with some. I have a ton of batteries. You should contact that friend and say, I need some batteries. You know what I have a ton of batteries. You should contact that friend and say, I need some batteries. You know what I have? I have a battery daddy or something, which is like a box full of batteries. A box and then you put them specifically

so they're not all mixed up and stuff. Yeah, it's great. It's a fun gift for someone who has a tool table or a friend who likes to organize. Yeah, I think they're good because you're constantly- I have a friend who likes to organize and I have to investigate this. Yeah. We would just put them, throw them like still in the packaging into a junk drawer or whatever

and then you're sifting through it trying to figure it out. And then you're like, these old or these new. It's really great. Do you want to know my battery system? What's that? We have... I'm playing this tonight. By the way, I love this present. Oh good. I'm glad. I love mine too.

They both made me laugh when I saw them. No, they're both good. Honestly, his is really good too. I'm going to read when I saw them. No, they're both good. I thought of you guys. Honestly, his is really good too. I'm gonna read this in bed tonight. You did a great job. Read it to Janie. Yeah.

She falls asleep in the middle. I need you to do this. I got these like wooden boxes, like hinged wooden boxes. And so we put, we take the batteries out of the packaging and put the fresh batteries in these boxes. So you always know these are goods. They never get, you can't mix any like half batteries in there.

These gotta be freshies. They gotta be freshies. But it's against the rule. Yes, you have, it was against the rule. You have to know that when you open this box, you're getting freshies. And batteries, by the way, if you take It was against the rule. You have to know that when you open this box, you're getting freshies. Right. And batteries, by the way,

if you take them out of the plastic, do they start draining or anything? I mean, that's what I assume. I don't think so. But we also have the battery tester, which I really enjoy. I think that's a fun. I love the battery tester.

It's a fun tool. Yeah, it is a fun tool. When you see all those lines go up, like, oh yeah. The battery daddy is fun. I will say it's like a sort of bulky item, but it makes it kind of fun to store your batteries, which I would never really say. Why does it have to be horny?

I didn't say it's horny. No, you didn't. Why is this battery daddy a horny battery daddy? It just... Why is this going on? Are you dying? Oh, and by the way, it has a built-in tester. Oh, I have seen that thing. Let me see it and see if it's different.

Oh yeah, it sort of looks like ours. I don't think I realized mine has a tester, but it's... I didn't realize ours has a tester either. What if John Tester shows up? Who's that again? John Tesh? No, there's somebody named John Tester. John Tester?

Is there somebody in government? John Tester is, yeah, he was a senator or is a senator from Montana. He's got that crew cut. You know, I was actually thinking of was the bar rescue guy, John Taffer. Oh, OK. I'd love to rescue a bar sometime. This bar needs rescuing. This kitchen is a taft.

I love it when they go in and they're, you're mixing the chicken with the beef. Yeah, well, you know, honestly though, and I'm sure we've talked about this because I love kitchen nightmares. The, to see how some of the food is stored in these places, the place where I might end up eating just like, oh, it's right here, like whatever. The ones where they show bugs.

And then there's like a bucket of moldy shit of chicken. It's wild. How does a restaurant come back from that? And like, it's not hard to throw something out from the nightmare. What are you saving it for? Like, why, why aren't you just routinely dumping out old stuff? I don't understand. Yeah. I don't think they're cooking it. I just, it's just living down there. It's just so gross. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's like, if you're a hoarder, you shouldn't have a restaurant. Yeah, probably not you can't hoard old chicken You can try you can try but it'll stay and could be slimy The two worst things for chicken, I know it was it's so gross I long for new episodes of that show that we long for them. We would put it on every night

How long has it been on? I don't know, but we watched them all. Are there no more? Is it that shit not happening no more? I don't think it's happening no more. Yeah, I think he's maybe done. But we talked about this. There's the part at the end that always was really weird for us where, what's his name?

Gordon Ramsay. Thank you. Would be giving the debrief on the thing, but he was always looking down. Yeah, yeah. Yes, we have talked about that, yeah. And I never understood, does he have a cue card on the ground?

We need people who worked on that show to let us know where the cue card took place. But wait, but then you saw a video where he did it in another thing. You could see the table, and there was nothing there, and he was still doing it. Thank you, because I forgot what the resolution was.

Well, because normally when you're, I think we must've talked about this. When you're remembering lines, you look up. Yeah. But he would always look down. It must just be a nervous tick. Yeah, there's one way you look up. He's so nervous.

You look up one way, you're remembering, the other way you're lying. I don't know if I can go on today. I don't know if I can hate these people today. I don't care today. How do I do it? I don't care. By all accounts I do it? I don't care. By all accounts, he's a very nice man. Um, isn't that like how it's,

it seems so hard to like pump yourself up to go on camera to yell at people. If you're a nice person, why is Kramer skin so much darker than everybody else? I honestly noticed that too. I didn't want to even get into it, but I, cause everyone has the almost exact same skin tone. Cause there was that episode where he tanned, but it is weird. Like would you, if he, if his face was the same as everybody else's, would you notice?

Would you be like- I wouldn't think he's typically- That doesn't look like Kramer. He's actually darker. There are probably reasons for this that are, we don't want to get into. Kramer is Sephardic, canonically. Well, Merry Christmas, you guys.

Are you going to lay in bed and read that to Janie tonight? The Seinfeld book? Where were you five minutes ago? We just talked about this. That's insane. I think I was really looking at this. I think you were looking at this. You were so engrossed in Shrek operation.

But then I heard it... It's Operation Shrek. But then I heard it like under, like under my thoughts. And then I thought to say- Heard it under my thoughts! Under my thoughts. Here's the thing- wait, do we have to take a break? No.

It's scary though, when that happens. Here's the thing that is so weird. When you are reading a book and you zone out and your eyes are still going, you're turning pages. You're not pages. Yeah. You're not paying attention what you're reading. That shouldn't be allowed. It's like your brain is reading words, but you're not processing what they say.

What the fuck? I don't know. I don't know. But I did this. This is a very captivating game that you gave me. No, it is captivating. That's fair. Do you think, do you think Holly is, is it, is it

Holly's going to go crazy. For her age. She's going to love this. I think she'll have a hard time with the- It says six plus. But she likes tweezers because we had, she had a splinter and then we had a whole thing about tweezers and then we play pretend

with these like big tweezers from her doctor kit. So this actually will be a very exciting game. Absolutely. Yeah. Now I'm feeling bad that she might have to wait three years to be in the game. She's not waiting. No, no, no, we're playing this tonight.

Yeah, why wouldn't it? Yeah. Maybe it's just frustrating for kids because they won't be able to do it. She'll be buzzing the side. Yeah, of course. But that's fun. But that's also part of what makes it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His nose lights up. Yeah, it'll be funny every time. Yeah. And she can also just watch you and Mike play for hours. I used to have one when parents would do that. They play Hungry, Hungry Hipp And she can also just watch you and Mike play for hours. I used to have one parents would do that. They play hungry, hungry hippos. I just watched.

I loved that game. I feel like they were too hungry after my time. Yeah. And they're all hungry at the same time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It doesn't feel ethical. What are the marbles representing in that game?

Watermelons? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Big watermelons. Big, big, big, big melons. Just peel watermelons. The way, everyone knows the way you feed a hippo is you give them one watermelon.

I beg your pardon? What were you going to say? Piz melons. Melons. Piz melons. Piz melons. Melons. Cause melons. Cause melons. Cause melons. Cause melons.

You know what? My friend just told me he found out he's allergic to, he's allergic to mango. No! That's in everything. But the skin of mangoes, it's a very common allergy because the skin is akin to poison oak. That's fucked up. That's fucked up.

That's not interesting. Mango's not worth it. So should we be skinning our mangoes? I'll skin your mangoes. You typically don't eat the skin. You don't eat the skin of a mango. It's very thick, it's like eating a banana peel. You don't eat the skin of a mango!

Do you eat it? Yeah, I love it. No. That's all I love. I hate the mango itself, I just love the skin. That's all I'll do. I hate the mango itself. I just love the skin. That's like me and chicken. It is funny that that's a thing. You only eat the skin of chicken?

I love skin. I know, it's so good. When I was a kid, I fucking loved it. I know. It was such a treat. It's so funny because we tend to, because we're sort of lazy or whatever, we tend to get food delivered.

Yeah. And it's always chicken. It was always such a treat though when I was a kid. And sometimes I'll think about that for Emmy. I'll just be like, you don't know how good you have it. Because it was like once every three weeks, maybe we would get like, it would be like, we're getting Kentucky Fried Chicken tonight.

Oh, that was always the best. That was my birthday meal when I was a kid. Wow. I loved KFC. Bless the baby. I liked, we also had Brown's Chicken in Chicago. I don't know if that's a chain. I know some chickens are brown.

Yeah. Is that what you mean? And they do really good biscuits. They probably still, it probably still exists. I don't know. It was a very 80s looking restaurant. Do you think they made him darker as a little nod to you know what?

They're like, how do you like this? No, that's honestly what I went first. Take that racist. What were you gonna say, Paul, about eating or, I can't remember what it was. Why didn't we talk about, we were talking about chicken. Oh, the skin of chicken. Oh, but I loved, I loved this.

Would do baked chicken? Yeah. Oh, the chicken skin was so good. So good. So good. So good. So good. I should learn how to roast a chicken. We all should. It's not hard, yeah.

Sure, we all should. Yeah, let's do it today. Let's go to the store today. And you know what it tastes- Bonus content, we roasted chicken on air. It tastes so good when you do it yourself too. It just tastes better than the same roasted chicken you buy at the market.

I feel that way about a peanut butter sandwich. Yeah, when you grind up the peanuts yourself and add oil to them. First you take the peanuts and you mash them. You mash them, you mash them, mash them, mash them. Then you spread them, you spread them. You spread them, spread them, spread them. I don't know what capes are.

I don't know what capes are. I don't know what capes are. But it might be crazy. I don't know what happens. Lauren, But it might be crazy. I don't know what happens. Lauren, do you think you would learn how to cook if you had a book with instructions or called cookbook? Sure. As the lay person said, but you know what I mean?

Like what would inspire you to some sort of instruction manual? What for food? The last year, Mike has, he has been learning to cook and it's been, that's been great for our household because that's helped me a lot in that I get to eat it. But I, I do get to do that too. I have made some things from a cookbook and enjoyed that. I think what I think it's such a like, I think I have to get good at like prepping the ingredients. Yeah.

Mise en place. Because it takes so much time. What does that mean? McLovin. That's what I thought of. Mise en place, I think, is when you set out all your stuff for cooking. OK, because I feel like the chaos for me

is it takes me two hours longer than it should because I'm preparing and I don't know how to cut it. You start it, you go to the store, get one ingredient, go back home. And also that's part of it too, where I'd be like, I don't have time, like a spice or whatever. And then I have to go to the store, get one ingredient, go back home. And also that's part of it too, where I'd be like, I don't have time, like spice or whatever. And then like, I have to like go to the store. Good thing about a chicken is it'll last you for a few days.

Yeah. Especially in my house when I'm the only one eating it. It means putting you're the only one eating it. Really? Well, I mean, Hollywood eat meat, but not really. Should we? If it's not in nugget form, I don't know if she'd be interested. Yeah. But Mike is a veg. More things should be in nugget form. Yeah.

I should learn how to make my own chicken nuggets. You have like a class fun, below situation. Well, what are you going to have for Christmas meals? It's a great question because my family is visiting. So you're not going anywhere. They're hosting this year. Wow, fun. So no Chicago trip, which is easier on you.

Yeah, that was the gift that was given to me this year. But I will probably go sometime in the new year. Mike will probably be cooking some meals and my sister-in-law likes to cook and so she'll probably do a couple things. My brother-in-law likes to cook. We'll be down in, uh, in Charleston and he always, he's a, he's a good cook and always makes delicious meals.

Maybe some jambalaya. What are you doing? What are you doing? Alligator. Crocodile. Maybe some giraffe. What are you doing? Crocodile. What are you doing? Alligator. Crocodile. Maybe some giraffe. A po-boy.

A little bit of hippopotamus. Maybe a rhinoceros. I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. I'm pissed. I'm pissed. Brad, I'm pissed. All right, we have to take a break. Shout out to Brad.

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I, we already knew. I appreciate you listening. Yeah. But you know what? Um, Paul, I had a question. Sure. I'll answer any question. This kind of came to me in the middle of the night.

In the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. Three ghosts visited me. One was Billy Joel. And he's saying in the middle of the night. Sorry, I have to point something out. Yeah. You can play this game alone. Operation Shrek. It says one plus players.

Oh, I could just be pulling cards and trying to rack up like a personal best of. Yeah, OK. It made sense. Yeah, but then you could do anything alone. Like, yeah, you play can't do that alone. Yeah, I guess. You milk me alone, Greg. OK, go on. Because there's still an element to that that is challenging by yourself.

That's true. Yeah. Because you're playing against, I guess, the board and nature itself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nature is what made Shrek. You're playing against narrow space. Mm hmm. But yeah, I three ghosts visited me and they were like, hey, you need to play a three-cher this year in order to be a better person. I didn't know what a three-cher was.

And I was you know, a three-cher is no. Are you serious? I'm serious. We like to play. What is it known as? A three chair is a game that we like to play. Maybe this will clear. I am still lost. It's also known as a buster.

Oh, okay. Do you know what a buster is? Or you're just saying that to kind of get through this moment. Are you lying? Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, I'm pretending. Now, I don't know if we played this buster last.

That's a nice way of saying lie. We didn't play it last year. We didn't play it last year. It's been'm pretending. Now I don't know if we played this Buster last year. That's a nice way of saying lie. We didn't play it last year. We didn't play it last year. It's been a little like we haven't played it in, it's been a little bit. Maybe three seasons. It's been a minute since we have played this.

We haven't played this in a long. It is called, ready? Yep. Christmas find out who game. Christmas find out who game. Christmas find out who game. Christmas find out who game. This is exciting, the Christmas find out who game. Christmas find out who game. This is exciting. The Christmas find out who game. Now the instructions on this in our document where we keep all of our games. It just says someone reads a list of questions

and the hosts write down who is most likely to have done the thing. Yep. So I had to look it up and find questions, but I think I got some. Now there are 14 questions that I have. So now I don't know how we keep score. I think it's like, because it's kind of like, have you done the thing? The questions are like like has so and so Well, I think has done this. Okay, and if we get if you guess correctly that yes, I have done that thing

Yes, got it. You get a point. Okay, so we can we can guess do we guess ourselves? No, we just guess the other no we can guess ourselves. We can guess ourselves Yeah, well, but then we know about ourselves whether we've done it or not. So we just get that point if we I Would say that we aren't able to guess ourselves. No, we are. Okay. We are, because sometimes it's just clear that you are the person most likely.

So we have to see who is the most, I don't think these questions work for that. Everyone gets a point for the correct guess. So if I guess myself, but you also guess me, we both get points. But if Lauren guesses you, but you also guess me, we both get points. Right. But if Lauren guesses you, she fucked up. No points for her. Okay. That's a scary, scary possibility. I think we're saying the same thing. I'm just saying that maybe ours shouldn't count. But anyway, let's, let's just play it where, where we can guess ourselves. I don't

like what you're saying. I don't like it either. And feel stressed and concerned. I'm just worried. I'm quaking with anxiety. I'm quaking in my boots. I'm sweating profusely and I'm dead. First question. Okay, we're just gonna number and then we'll go by stuff and us. Who likes hot chocolate more than eggnog? Mmm.

I do think it should be based on the other people. Based on what other people? Not yourself. Yes, I agree. Okay. Because it's like, you know if you like something. You know if you like it or not, yeah, exactly. So you'll always get a point if you.

Right, you were just gonna put yourself for everything. But you might say yourself and then other people will be like, no, not you. So I think what Paul, what you're saying is, is that we all vote on who likes it most and then that gets the point. Oh, that's different. Yeah. That's different than what we were saying.

Majority rules sort of thing. Yes. But see, that's why I'm saying these questions don't necessarily lend themselves to that. They're just purely like. I think I'm gonna be surprised. You have to see the question. I think you'll be surprised when you hear

some of these questions, because they're just simple yes or no. Okay. These are true or false questions. Okay. So I think you'll be surprised when you hear some of these questions because they're just simple yes or no Okay, true or false questions. Okay So I think that we I abide by whatever you guys want to do. I just looking at these questions I feel like we shouldn't be able to guess just okay. Just get there enough. Okay, other people. Okay, so who likes More than egg. No, I've cast my vote. I'm going okay now Should we go one at a time or should we go through all the-

No, question two. Question two. Yeah. Yeah. Is the oldest in their family? Oh. I guess oldest- I thought there was more. No, is the oldest sibling, I would say,

not the oldest currently. Right. Blah. Yeah. Don't look at me. You're trying to read my face. Don't look at me. Don't you fucking look at me. Now it's dark, but I can see. Don't you fucking look at me. Go.

Have we entered our? I'm ready. Okay. I'm ready. Is great at wrapping presents. Hmm. Hmm. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Have we entered our? I'm ready. Okay.

I'm ready. Is great at wrapping presents. Okay. Are we in? Traveled the longest to get here. To get here? Today? Yeah.

What does this have to do with Christmas? But see, here's where it gets a little confusing. What does this have to do with Christmas? But see, here's where it gets a little confusing. What does this have to do with Christmas? For example, can I just, can I break the game? Are you supposed to play it on Christmas? Yeah, you would, yeah. Can I break the game for a second to just say something? Okay.

This is hard to do because there is an answer. Yes, that's what I mean. But if I can't vote for myself and I have to pick one of you, that means I'll just get it wrong. I feel like these questions used to be more like, who is most likely to do something? Who's most likely to kiss a reindeer?

Paul, that's probably true, but when I looked up these questions, we had played them with those questions already. And then you said, are these new questions? I said, oh, I got some new questions. And these questions. Darling, darling, I'm not, I'm not indicting you. These questions are what they are.

I understand. I understand. But I'm saying this doesn't work and it sucks. I have a list here that I don't think is the one that we've done before. And I think we should pivot. You think we should pivot? Because I honestly don't understand how to do it this way.

Pivot! Okay. Pivot! Classy. Is there a golden book about that? Can we hear the answers to these questions? Yes, okay, let's do this whole round. Let's do this whole round and see how it goes.

Okay, and then we'll do- And then we'll do- Did you not remember that I said there was a friend's golden book? I don't know what you said, dear. I was looking at Shrek's body with all the holes in it. You were so-

Shrek orifices. I can't wait to hear it back because- You were so... Shrek orifices. I can't wait to hear it back because... You were so captivated by this game. It's honestly, it's really good. You checked out for such a long time. I was opening the cards, I was looking at the money. Tell you what, you can vote for yourself.

We'll say you can vote for yourself. Go backwards. The first question likes hot chocolate more than eggnog. That didn't change for me. Second question is the oldest in their family. Didn't change for me. Didn't change for me. Third question is great at wrapping presents.

Didn't change for me. Fourth traveled the longest to get here. Didn't change for me. Go ahead and vote for yourself. Five doesn't like- Wait, to get here?'t like to get here. Yeah, to get here. You asked, where did you think they were going?

Five doesn't like gingerbread. And you can't vote for yourself. You can now. Okay. That's a good tip off. That's, that's a good one actually, because that is, you have to guess, yes. That's better. Has the same favorite color as you?

What does that mean? Has the same favorite color as you? That's so weird. Who has the same favorite color as you? Okay. Sure. So now you can't vote for yourself in this one, but. That would be insane. Yeah. It would make no sense.

That would be true madness. We all have to, write down your favorite color by the way, so that you can't vote for yourself in this one, but. That would be insane. Yeah. It would make no sense. That would be true madness. You write down your favorite color, by the way, so that you can't change it. We're not gonna go with the honor system. We're gonna have, you have to have receipts for this one. And you know what? I'm just gonna guess both of you,

because if I don't get a point for it, then who cares? Actually, I should just guess all of you do that. No, no. Do we get minus points if we guess incorrectly I should just guess all of you do that. Do we get minus points if we guess incorrectly? If you guess everybody you get no points. You should just guess everybody for every single one. And then if you get a point you get a point. Do you know how crazy this is to listen to? What's number seven dear? Alright Will if you guess incorrectly you get a negative point. Great. That's how it works.

Okay. Seven is wearing a Christmas sweater. Or I'll even say- What? That's not a question. I'll even say, by the way, this is in bingo form, which is probably why this makes sense. That's why this doesn't work. Let me do my list.

All right, can we go back and hear the answers to these? Yes, okay. Is it done? Yeah, we'll just,'ll just pivot off of this. Likes hot chocolate more than eggnog? I said both of you. I said me. I said Scott.

I love eggnog. I love eggnog more than hot chocolate. I love hot chocolate. Wow. I get a point that you get one and you get minus one, so you get zero. I get a minus point for that. So I'm a zero. Okay, is oldest in their family?

I said Lauren. I said none because I'm not, you're not. You're not? Okay, so I get. I said Scott, who's the closest to being oldest. But I'm not, I'm negative one. Okay. I got one right. Is great at wrapping presents, I said Lauren.

I said Lauren. I said Paul because I was being nice, but it is me. So that is a point. Okay, I'm at zero. Doesn't like gingerbread, I said Paul because I was being nice, but it is me. So that is a point. Okay, I'm at zero. Doesn't like gingerbread. I said Lauren. I said Lauren. Oh wait, no, no, travel the longest to get here.

Sorry. That is Lauren. Four is me and that is me. I said Lauren. Although I come from Philadelphia and Lauren comes from Chicago. But I thought we were talking about Christmas. Yeah, on the day. On the day.

So on the day Christmas is happening here. So Lauren traveled the further. We're playing today. We're saying what happened. Yeah, I know we're playing today. But it's like, but in your mind you're like, but then what? Dear, dear. No, in your mind you're going, it's Christmas here equals wherever you would be on Christmas.

Who traveled the farthest to get here, quote unquote? You'll be in Philadelphia. I'll be in. Do you know what I was thinking? I was thinking this is on Christmas and Christmas is happening here. Scott's house. So I have traveled from my home, Philadelphia.

Cause you're normally there at Christmas. By the way, it makes sense that this is bingo form because then, okay, anyway. Doesn't like gingerbread, I said Paul. Number five. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Doesn't like gingerbread. Number four was the travel one? Four was Lauren traveled the farthest. Number five. Five doesn't like gingerbread. Paul. I said Scott. I like gingerbread.

I like gingerbread too. Everyone likes gingerbread? Okay. I'm back to zero. Has the same color as you? I guess no one because I like gingerbread too. Everyone likes gingerbread? Okay, I'm back to zero. Has the same color as you? I guess no one because my favorite color is blue. I guessed no one. I didn't want negative points. Smart. I guessed Paul and my favorite color is pink.

I guessed Lauren, my favorite color is green. So you get negative one a piece. I ended up at zero. Wait, what's seven? What's seven? You never did seven. Yes we did. Yes we did, I haven't piece. I ended up at zero. We were at seven. What's seven? You never did seven. Yes we did. Yes we did, I haven't answered.

I do too. Seven is, no we never did seven. Is left-handed? I never said it. We did, what happened? I never said it. What the fuck? Six was blue and that was the last one.

You skipped something. No I didn't. Why did we both have a seven? Yeah, cause you're idiots and you're not listening We're just writing names down for no reason. No Because you put you probably put your favorite color in number six. No, I didn't Because he's looking at a board that is chaos Sweater Bitch Then you interrupted me before I ever even got to vote well is wearing a Christmas sweater you son of a bitch and I wrote me

well then you interrupted me before I ever even got to vote well you knew the answer I would have voted for Paul well then maybe you should listen dear how many did you get? I got four counting all your negatives? I didn't get any oh I didn't yeah you did I didn't do that fuck you all all right I have zero I didn't do the negatives I have zero I guess all my I can't take it all my guesses cancel canceled. I forgot the negatives part and I just got four. Okay. So oh, I forgot all the negatives too and I won. Okay. This is a game with questions.

How many questions? The questions are number nine questions. Okay. No, actually it goes on till it goes on. Oh God, it goes on forever. It goes it goes up to 30 Let's do ten. Okay Who is and you can vote for yourself? Thank you. Okay, who is most likely to sneak a peek at their gifts? Oh I feel like these are the questions we use less. That's we don't remember. We don't remember anything about each other So now we're just guessing All right, who is most likely to go all out with Christmas decorations? Mm-hmm Who is most likely to have the best Christmas you voting by the way, I'm ready

I'm done. Okay, great. Who's most likely to have the best Christmas treat Can I ask does that include just in their house in's in their house. In their house. Okay. Okay. Who is most likely to wear ugly Christmas sweaters? Got it. Who is most likely to leave Christmas shopping to the last minute? Who is most likely to travel somewhere warm

for the holidays? Mm-hmm. Who is most likely to fall while ice skating? On their little butt? Or on their fat fucking face. Who is most likely to have the best home alone scream impression? This is gonna lead us into a Home Alone competition?

Who is most likely to start listening to Christmas music in October? And finally, who is most likely to leave Christmas lights up all year? Okay. Okay. The first question is, and we're going to do a negative if you get it wrong. No, I don't think we have to on this. Who is most likely to sneak a peek at their gifts? I voted Lauren. I said Scott.

I said Scott. Would you do that Scott? I did when I was younger. That's it. There you go. But did you? No, I don't like knowing. I love a surprise.

I would never. So you both get a point. Thank you. Who is most likely to go all out with Christmas decorations? Lauren. I would never. So you both get a point. Thank you. Who is most likely to go all out with Christmas decorations? Lauren. I said Lauren. Yes. All right.

And I am. Who is most likely to have the best Christmas tree? Scott. In their house, yes. I said Scott. Yeah, because Cool Up has three of them. She goes all out. And what I love is-

It's a volume business. The one in the living room is like classy decorations, ornaments. And then the one in our bedroom has all the whimsical ornaments and Emmy comes in and constantly wants to point them out and name them all. So she's like, rocket ship, crossword. That's cute. Yeah.

The Jillian Dollar Properties Call Sheet. Who is most likely to wear ugly Christmas sweaters? I said Lauren. I said Lauren too. I said Scott, although I definitely, I definitely would do that. I think it's Lauren. I guess I'm right. Yeah.

Did I get a point then? Is it majority rules? I was just thinking about that one sweater you had for Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, it was for Christmas last year. What did it say? I didn't, I just saw you people at Thanksgiving.

Yes. Right. Yes. Yeah. That was funny. Are you going to wear that again? I'm not going to wear it again. It's a one, a one. You should wear it. Yeah. That was funny. Are you going to wear that again? I'm not going to wear it again. It's a one. You should wear it. Yeah.

One joke. What if? I was going to say it too. I know we both were going to say something. I was about to say it off mic. Oh no. Okay. Who is most likely to leave Christmas shopping to the last minute?

I said Paul. I said Paul. I said me too. Oh man. Who is most likely to travel somewhere warm for the holidays? I said me, because we used to all the time. I said me because we go to South Carolina.

Is it warm? It's warmer. Yeah. Is it warmer than here, really? Yeah. It's not like Aruba, Jamaica, Kalula, I wanna take Jamaica. I would say it's comparable to here, although this we were just there for Thanksgiving and it

was pretty cold. It's like the coldest I've experienced it there. Well here's my question. So Cool Up and I used to go to like Mexico for Christmas. How long has it been? It's been a couple years. mean, especially with Emmy now and we can't do it anymore. Couple years. So is it not no longer me? How long has it been? I don't know. I guess. More than two years? More than two. Yeah. Then you're out baby. So it's you now? Now it's me. All right. It is you and I don't get a point. I don't get a point. All right. Number seven. Who is most likely to fall while ice skating? Paul. I said Scott.

I said Scott. Okay, because it's me. Come on, it's you. But I used to be good at it. I did too. It's me! Define gravity. So if you dare to fall while you're ice skating.

Who is most likely to have the best Home Alone scream impression? Lauren. I said Lauren, yeah. Obviously, it's me. Yeah, for sure. Who is most likely to start listening to Christmas music in October?

Lauren. I said Lauren. It is also me. And the final question is, who is most likely to leave Christmas lights up all year? Lauren. I said Paul. I said Me Too.

Yes. I do leave them up a little long. Hashtag Me Too? Yeah, that's what that was all about. All right. Let's tally up our points. Okay, count it up. I got six. I got eight.

I got fucking 10. No! Christmas find out who game! Christmas find out who game! Christmas find out who game! Christmas find out who game! And that's how you play Christmas find out who game! Christmas find out how you play Christmas Find Out Who Game.

Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Thank you. That was also called Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game.

By the way, that was also how not to play Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. Christmas Find Out Who Game. All right. Thank you so much, everybody. If you would like to send us a buster, write to us at threedomusa.gmail.com. And if you would like to leave us a voicemail, a question to answer in our Thremium episodes, which come out every other Wednesday.

We'll have one coming out on Christmas itself. Yeah, fun. Yeah. Then one coming out on Christmas itself. Yeah, fun! Yeah. Then you write... That's great. Then you write to... Wait, it's Christmas Eve.

It's not Christmas Eve right now. I thought it was. No, I said this one comes out before Christmas. This is the episode that comes out before Christmas. So the other one comes out on Christmas? I could swear to God you said this comes out on Christmas Eve. I... I...

No, the next one comes... May God strike me dead. But I swore to God. The next one comes out of Christmas Eve. I am. No, the next one comes out. I swore to God. The next one comes out the 26th. Do you think God is like upset that people are always swearing to him? Yeah. He's like, leave me alone. I'm trying to fucking tell people win Oscars and football games. Now, today's the 19th, if you're listening to it on the day comes out. But we'll have a three meme that comes out on Christmas Day.

Yes. So go to if you would like to leave his voicemail, go to hagclaims8.com. My hand is asleep. Yep. And if you want to hear these thremiums, you can either subscribe to Lemonada Premium, or you can subscribe to the show at Comedy Bang Bang World, CBB World, where you get ad-free episodes and all of our entire catalog as well as these three. All of our entire catalog. And then what else?

If you want to see the show I did last night with Mary Holland, you can do that at densitytemporary.com. And you know what? If you would also like to see the show that I did with the Off Book Gang, I don't know where you can find that, but it is being live streamed. So it will be archived somewhere. And if you want to hear the big end of the year, end of the tour episode of Comedy Bang Bang that both of you guys were in, and myself.

And what a time we had. We had such a great time. You can listen to that at Comedy Bang Bang World as well in the live feed. And the only other thing I have is that, you know, astonishing Spider-Man still out in the Marvel app. He's still astonishing. This week marked the Jason Manzoukas joined the supporting cast. And-

Wow, that's amazing. Doesn't he have enough? Does he have enough? He's fine. He's all right. He's all right. He could always use more. Apparently.

Well, he's now working with J. Jonah Jameson. What? They're doing a podcast together. Oh, my god. Who's that? That's insane. That's insane. So check that out at the Marvel app.

Issue 9 just came out. And then Paul and I are going to be doing the Comedy Bang Bang Best Of starting next Monday. Yes, we are. Yes, we are. Yes, we are. Two weeks on Mondays and Thursdays. Check that shit out. Guys, thank you so much for listening.

And we hope that you have a Merry Christmas. And we honestly, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you. We do. We'll talk about that. And happy new year next week. OK. And a happy new year. Alright, bye!

[♪ Music playing. Fades out. Music ends. [♪ Music ends. Hi everyone, Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life.

Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts. Are you in bed by 10? Can you feel your hormones raging more than ever? Do you wake up every day wondering, is this it? Guess what? You're not alone. Welcome to My Soul Called Midlife, a weekly podcast hosted by me, Reshma Sajjani.

On this show, we're going to expose the con we've been sold about middle age, figure out what the fuck we want from our lives, and how to get there. We'll have help from guests like Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Supreme Court Justice Katanji Brown Jackson, and Alana Glazer. You can listen to My Soul Called Midlife ad-free on Amazon Music.