Throughline - Editing Reality (2023)

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

We live in divided times, when the answer to the question 'what is reality?' depends on who you ask. Almost all the information we take in is to some extent edited and curated, and the line between entertainment and reality has become increasingly blurred. Nowhere is that more obvious than the world of reality television. The genre feeds off our most potent feelings – love, hope, anxiety, loneliness – and turns them into profit... and presidents. So in this episode, we're going to filter three themes of our modern world through the lens of reality TV: dating, the American dream, and the rage machine.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Support for this podcast and the following message come from the NPR Wine Club, which has generated over $1.75 million to support NPR programming. Whether buying a few bottles or joining the club, you can learn more at nprwineclub.org slash podcast. Must be 21 or older to purchase. A quick warning before we get started. There's some language in this episode that may not be suitable for kids. We've become bored with watching actors give us phony emotions. We're tired of pyrotechnics and special effects. While the world he inhabits is, in some respects, counterfeit, there's nothing fake about Truman himself. No scripts, no cue cards. It isn't always Shakespeare, but it's genuine.

It's a life. Fade the music up. Three, two, one, quick cut to FBoy Island. Women have been forced to tolerate the manipulative douchebaggery of F-boys for far too long. And that's why we're here. Welcome to F-Boy Island. Okay, fade to click down. Ladies, the three of you are hoping to find love. F-Boy Island is a reality TV show set on an island where three women try to find the nice guys among a group of self-proclaimed F-boys, or players.

And the clip we opened with is from the fictional movie The Truman Show, in which a guy unknowingly grows up in a world completely manufactured for TV. Bet you didn't see that quick cut coming. It's a classic through-line move. Start with a bang to hook the listener's attention. We thought it was a clever way to draw in both diehard reality TV fans and skeptics who weren't sure if they were going to listen to this episode at all. Why are we telling you all this? Well, you'll have to keep listening to find out. Nothing like a good cliffhanger, am I right? Cue guest tape. My name's Goloka Bolte. I am a reality TV casting director for the last nearly 20 years.

We spent over an hour getting to know Galoka before casting her for this episode, and another hour interviewing her. But you'll only hear a handful of soundbites from her. I started out in the grand old days of reality TV. Music in something playful. My first sort of significant project that I worked on was season two of Joe Millionaire. And since then, you know, I've gone on to cast everything from MasterChef to work on Let's Make a Deal to RuPaul's Drag Race to FBoy Island to Million Dollar Listing to The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

It kind of runs the gamut. I absolutely love casting FBoy Island. So during the casting process, I mean, we are asking people about the most sort of rogue, rascally things they've ever done and trying to figure out what's their story, what's their motivation for being there. Yo, I'm just here to clap.

Like, you look good, I look good, we look good together. I love to tease, I love to flirt. I know every which way to get them. I know physical touch, mental games, all that. They're like, this is just between us, right? And I'm like, yeah, me and the camera and the producers and the network executives. Yeah, just between us.

I think that one of the things that people just need to remember is that, you know, you are seeing reality for the most part. That's been edited together with, you know, suspenseful music to kind of create the mood and anticipation for the next scene and put in a certain order for context to make it feel more exciting and more dramatic. If you watch the unedited footage all the way through, it would be quite boring. Cue suspenseful music from the top. Bring in a clip from the Truman Show. Something that really gets the listener invested. We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented. It's as simple as that.

And end scene. We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented. Since the pandemic descended on the world, many of us have spent a lot more time watching TV. And you've probably noticed that one genre really blew up. Reality TV. You know, I know for myself, my own business, I couldn't even keep up with the demand for work. If you're doing a competition show, you're filming away, you're living in a hotel. The crew's living there. You're on location. So we're already filming in a bubble.

It's so much more cost effective and our budgets are not as big as scripted shows. There's no shortage of options. Everything from home makeovers to dramatic Real Housewives to cooking competitions to searches for love on an island. In all different languages, all over the world. Now, it's no secret that the reality part of reality TV is questionable. Every show, to some extent, is edited, produced, and curated for our eyes. But then again, so is our show. So are the news channels you tune into, the websites you read online,

the dating and social media apps you scroll through on your phone, and algorithms tailor what each of us see, shaping and siloing our sense of reality. We live in divided times when the answer to the question, what is reality, depends on who you ask. Reality TV is one place in our media landscape where boundaries sometimes blur. Many of us, me included, on the edge of our seats wanting to know. The winner of Survivor Cook Islands. The second singer, Unmasking. Oh my gosh. Is. The winner of the Great British Bake Off is. I'll read the last vote. Just say my name. Just say my name. Will you accept this rose? Absolutely. Bob. News, entertainment, relationships, politics, our lives are all deeply affected by the editing of reality. So in this episode, we're going to filter three themes of our modern world through the lens of reality TV.

Love, the American dream, originally from Kansas City. You're listening to ThruLine at NPR. This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend, or receive money internationally, and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com. T's and C's apply. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Autograph Collection Hotels, offering over 300 independent hotels around the world, each exactly like nothing else. Hand-selected for their inherent craft, each hotel tells its own unique story through The Rage Machine Find the unforgettable at AutographCollection.com.

Part One. The Rage Machine. Imagine you're a peasant in the time of the Roman Empire. You might be feeling some anger towards the people in the upper classes because you want what they have, and there's no way you're ever going to get that, so you know that you are going to live and die as you are. Gladiators did something to kind of keep the peace, right? It appeased people. Here's somebody you can look down on.

You know, you can feel a little bit better about yourself, a little bit less angry. Similar emotions, you know, that people might feel in terms of that expression of anger, you know, watching two real housewives scream at each other. And, I mean, modern day cable news, right, does this as well. Major beef inside a golden corral. Dozens of customers get into a brawl all over a piece of meat.

We use entertainment to cope with modern life. People have always done that. We're looking for somewhat of an escape. In order to keep viewers, the boundaries keep being pushed more and more and more. I've never seen an animal that violent that close up before. I mean, I've really felt scared for my life. So now our appetite for those types of pseudo blood sports has really increased. I'm Joe Rogan, and this is Fear Factor. The stunts you're about to see are extremely dangerous

and should not be attempted by anyone, anywhere, anytime. And I think often without a second thought, oh, this looks funny, this looks interesting, but then it can go over into the cruel. My name is Dr. Janice Gravani. I am a licensed clinical psychologist. I think it was really my interest in anxiety that led to my interest in reality TV. Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Everyone here is waiting for the same thing, the stroke of midnight.

Happy New Year 2000. This is survival. At the dawn of a new millennium, audiences flocked to theaters to watch a new movie called Gladiator, set in an era when real-life bloodsports were entertainment, and a reality show debuted on American television that launched the pseudo-blood sport era of reality TV. It was called Survivor. Bring in Survivor executive producer Mark Burnett.

Survivor is a morality play. You are asking the people that you have ousted to give you the gift of a million dollars. We need to mention this tape comes from a 2010 interview with Mark Burnett and the Television Academy Foundation. What immediately appealed to me was the idea of people building a society on Ireland a la Swiss family Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, Lord of the Flies.

If you've never seen the show, here's the basic premise. You're on an island with a bunch of people you've never met before, divided up into competing tribes, and you have to find a way to survive. Sure, there's also a TV crew there, but you're still pretty much on your own, trying to build shelter, start a fire, find food. All you're given are the bare essentials. A few tools and a bag of rice, in case your search for coconuts and fish comes up short. The tribes compete in physical challenges, and the losing tribe goes to tribal council,

where one person is voted off by everybody else. When just a couple people are left, everyone who got voted off chooses a winner who gets one million dollars. I always think about the importance of the year 2000 and Y2K and technophobia as being really sort of indelible to survivor. I don't know that it's necessarily going to be a computer problem. I think it's going to be a social and people problem. There is a lot of social anxiety about the fast and the rapidly increasing pace of technology and how that is impacting everyday life. Have we become so dependent on computers that our society is at risk if they fail? My name is Raquel Gates. I am an associate professor of film and media studies at Columbia University.

I find it very fitting that then we get this show, which is all about, like, a return to nature and, like, can know, a working class neighborhood in Miami, you know, so I'm like, how bad could it be? To quote the Lion King, I laugh in the face of danger. I am Dr. Jatia Hart. I am a nuclear engineer. I was on Survivor season 28. We're doing three tribes this year and they're divided based on qualities that it takes to win this game. Brains. I don't know the damn thing. Beauty, brains, and brawn. Brains, broody, brawn.

I'll do that one time again just because I'm sure I messed up. I absolutely had a holy fucking shit moment. I'm hungry. Actually, the hunger was not the worst part. It was that I felt like nobody was being nice to me. Not only the people I was playing with, but I felt like the crew hated me. You know, like when you walk into the cafeteria and you sit at a table and you just feel like people are just barely fucking tolerating you? No, no, no. Flat side. Yep, like that.

As a Black woman in engineering, I've been at that table a lot. She has the decisiveness of a leader. She has the bossiness for sure. But she doesn't exactly have it all here. I felt kind of like a cog in the machine. It feels like the fantasy of Survivor is that you have this like pre-civilization society that magically conforms to everything you already sort of believe about society, but it naturalizes it.

So it's not like producer interference. It's not sexism. It just so happens to be that, you know, young dudes dominate the game over and over and over. In my tribe, I was the youngest woman. And that to me is a position of weakness in any society. It's a show where you're supposed to vote people off, right? You're supposed to form a bond, a connection. And a very real bond and connection is shared history and shared experience. It's very easy to other people. In my season, three Black people, there were only four,

three Black people went out in a row. And I was like, if I'm going to go home, I'm going to go out with a bang. They had people guarding you. I was like the mental patient. And then you left the mental patient alone and I went crazy. You think listeners will get that Jadiyah is dumping her tribe's only bag of rice into the fire as an act of revenge? That's what happens when you leave crazy people alone. It's entertaining. It's TV. So I don't feel bad for it. I wish I'd have been more careful talking about mental health.

I think part of it was I was feeling like they were treating me like something was wrong with me. Everything that you saw on the TV show happened, but there were a lot more things that happened that you did not see that they have to boil down. And I understand they had to make a character. they had to make a story. Fourth person voted out of Survivor, Kageyan. Shatia, need to bring me your torch. Good luck, you guys. When you're eliminated, and the minute your torch is extinguished,

the music shifts, it goes to cobalt blue lighting, which is where they're walking off into the jungle and disappearing. It's a blue, cold death color. Figuratively, they're dying. And then there's a moment of vacuum, emotional vacuum. reality television is really predicated on sort of playing on our emotions the emotional connection is the primary goal of reality television as opposed to some other forms of media what keeps people coming back to reality television is there has to be some source of conflict and tension. So creating anxiety. Actually, what I'd love to do is take a little trip through psychological history.

So let's go back. Hiroshima, seen from the air after the atomic bomb blast that virtually erased the city from the earth. As far as the eye can see, stretch scenes of desolation and ruin. Coming out of World War II, where, you know, not just this country, but the world had witnessed some of the most awful atrocities that one can think of. I still have that smell of burning bodies, you know, in my nose. It smells terrible. You know, people were still grappling with questions about the Holocaust. Ashes. All the ashes. There was a real desire, especially in this country, to sort of understand, like, what makes people do the things that they do?

Could ordinary people do evil? It is May 1962. An experiment is being conducted in the Elegant Interaction Laboratory at Yale University. The idea is that we're going to record people being people and placing them in very sort of strange, bizarre situations. The subjects are 40 males between the ages of 20 and 50, residing in the greater New Haven area. And that's going to teach us something about what makes people tick. The Stanford Prison Experiment. The Milgram Experiments.

Two-thirds of volunteers were prepared to administer a potentially fatal electric shock when encouraged to do so by what they perceived as a legitimate authority figure. In this case, a man in a white coat. 375 volts. I think something's happened to the phone in there. Milgram's findings horrified America. They showed that decent American citizens were as capable of committing acts against their conscience

as the Germans had been under the Nazis. There's disagreement around the interpretations of these experiments, but... Knowing that that's in some ways foundational to what eventually becomes reality television, I think is really helpful. Because even if it gets diluted or warped, there's always this idea of we're going to help you understand why people do the things that they do or how people live. Let's quickly fast forward through some early reality TV. Let's start with the British documentary Seven Up. World in action enters the struggling, changing world of the seven-year-old. During the next hour, you will see the first in a series of programs entitled An American Family. We've brought these 20 children together for the very first time.

For seven months, from May 30th, 1971 to January 1st, 1972, the family was filmed as they went about their daily routine. But you're kind of critical of yourself when you see yourself on TV. There is no question that the presence of our camera crews and their equipment had an effect on the Louds. Viewing yourself, you think, oh God, say something intelligent. Just don't sit there. Hi, my name is Peter Samoa. I came from Cuba in 1980. This is the true story. I'm an HIV AIDS educator.

True story. Seven strangers. Picked to live in a loft. And have their lives taped. To find out what happens. What? When people stop being polite. Could you get the phone?

And start getting real. The real world. The revolution begins here. Standby, ready three, take three, mic here. Three, start to slow zoom in a little bit. Roll tape, take three. When you get to the 90s, we have the proliferation of cable channels. MSNBC. Fox News Now, the news you need to get your day started.

We've sort of moved out of the period of broadcasting, you know, like sort of back in the day when there were only four networks. And suddenly, you know, there's tons of networks and networks have to figure out how they keep people's attention. No justice, no peace is what they're chanting. The news media itself becomes incredibly sensational. If it seemed like war yesterday, the reinforcements showed up tonight. A truck bomb exploded in front of a government building in Oklahoma City. We've got some breaking news. The space shuttle Columbia was going over North Texas.

Details are still emerging of an accident in Paris at around midnight involving Diana, Princess of Wales. News media becomes a form of entertainment in a way that I think is really different than it had been before. 911, what are you reporting? This is AC. I have OJ in the car. One thing we haven't noticed, and again, it's a very slow pursuit, followed by numerous highway patrol vehicles. Enter the so-called Dream Team, Simpson's all very slow pursuit, followed by numerous highway patrol vehicles. Enter the so-called Dream Team, Simpsons' all-star defense, including his most trusted ally, Robert Kardashian.

If it doesn't fit, you must acquit. Because what do those channels exist for? They have to get the image. They have to get the picture. They exist to make money. Later on, sort of say, I couldn't help myself. What do they make money on? They make money make money. What do they make money on? They make money on advertisements. What do you need, right, to make money on advertisements is you need viewers.

How do you get viewers? Simple recipe. You make them really scared. You make them really angry. And then you promise them that you can make them, that they have to keep tuning in in order to keep themselves safe. The rage machine is such a great term for it. It's just churning fear, rage, the promise of relief. Over and over again. churning fear, rage, the promise of relief. Sifted through its debris and counted its dead. Over and over again.

And seen up close why they call it terror. I don't want the children to see a problem. That spills over right into our perception of reality. And it becomes the reality TV formula, right? This is Survivor. When I was producing the finale of Survivor Marquesas, I'd rented Trump Warman's skating rink in Central Park, met Donald, he told me how much he loved Survivor and that were I to ever have any ideas for him,

he'd love to hear it and love to work with me. And thinking about a job interview show, kind of Survivor-ish, but it takes place in a city, with the winner getting a job in big-time American business. And Trump was the obvious choice. Only one drama can make 18 nice people become... Vicious. Vindictive.

Cutthroat. Evil. Evil. Who loves The Apprentice? This Thursday, it returns. Boom, boom, boom! Coming up, the rage machine collides with the American dream. It's like the American dream on speed.

I'm Sierra, and I'm calling from Chachengsao, Thailand. You're listening to ThruLine from NPR. My favorite reality TV show is Survivor. I have in my head the sound of the host Jeff Probst's voice yelling, you've got to dig deep. And honestly, it does remind me that I'm more capable than I think I am. Hey, it's Ramteen here. Before we get back to the show, the end of the year is coming up and we're reflecting a bit here at ThruLine.

We have loved bringing you episodes and reporting about everything from the Supreme Court shadow docket, house music, the allotment of tribal lands, and so much more in 2023. And we're really excited about everything we're going to dig into in 2024. This is where we want to say a big thank you to our ThruLine Plus supporters and anyone listening who already donates to public media. We could not do this work without you. Your support ensures that everyone has free access to reliable news and podcasts, including those who can't afford to give this season. And to anyone out there who isn't a supporter yet, right now is the time to get behind the NPR network, especially with

journalists gearing up for an important election year. Supporting public media now just takes a few minutes and makes a real difference in what's possible moving forward. So join NPR Plus or make a tax-deductible donation now at npr.org slash ThruLine. Thank you. Part 2. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. I am a real American. I'm on that mountaintop and I'm waiting for you, Andre, in the hospital at the garden.

When pro wrestling was first a thing, everybody thought it was real. They thought that these conflicts and these characters that the wrestlers had created were real people. The bell is gone. This one is officially underway. people. And there's this cool word that I love that came out of the pro wrestling tradition called kayfabe. And what kayfabe is, is maintaining your character once you're outside of the ring. What I am is what I am. I'm a real American. I love my family. I love my God. I love all my people that believe in me. Really, really good pro wrestlers will not break kayfabe.

He got it! Unbelievable! The world's heavyweight champion, Paul Token, has proven to everyone what he's made of. So there's always this kind of question, right, about what is performance and what's reality. And I think it's no accident that one of the other things, right, that Trump was sort of heavily involved in before The Apprentice and I think during was the WWE. He would make regular appearances. So when I think of this idea, right, of keeping kayfabe, I don't know what is his reality and what is he projecting. Your grapefruits are no match for my Trump Towers. People developed a parasocial relationship, right? A one-sided relationship with these people.

But there's a great amount of distance between us. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the author of this book right here. Trump, The Art of the Deal, Donald Trump. Hi, Donald. Good to see you. Nice of you to talk to me. For people who maybe didn't live in New York

in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, Donald Trump is the businessman who is cited in pop culture. Let me in, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, let me in. Samantha, a cosmopolitan, and Donald Trump. You just don't get more New York than that.

I've got to go. Yeah. I'll be at my office at Trump Tower. Good. Excuse me, where's the lobby? Down the hall and to the left. Thanks. Donald Trump, both his name and his image,

become synonymous with American wealth. Donald Trump doesn't just live large. He lives, really, on top of the world. He is the American wealth. Donald Trump doesn't just live large. He lives, really, on top of the world. He is the American dream. There's more than one version of the American dream. The early form of the American dream, which I would actually sort of connect to Westward Expansion, is the idea that any, like, young, able-bodied white man can come and, like, own land, right?

And sort of build a home for himself and his family and own something. The next iteration of the American dream is that, you know, any immigrant, if you come here and you work hard, you can make a really nice life for yourself. hey, young men, you have served your country, and now you're going to come back and work hard at a good job that will allow you to buy, you know, a lovely home with a white picket fence and two cars and support your family. Now, of course, across all of those, people are always left out.

Like, Black people, for instance, are left out, and Indigenous people are left out of every single one of those iterations. It's really like the straight white guy's, you know, are left out of every, and indigenous people are left out of every single one of those iterations. It's really like the straight white guy's, you know, kind of fantasy. But I think what we get, especially in the 1950s and 60s, is the televised aspects of the civil rights movement. Suddenly the system is gradually breaking down, and this, I think, is a very hopeful sign. Being able to see, you know, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on television. To achieve the freedom.

Seeing Black Americans being beaten by police and attacked by police dogs. The inequality suffered by the American Negro population in the United States has hindered the American dream. It's sort of like a reconsideration and a recalibration of what the American dream looks like. It comes as a great shock around the age of five or six or seven to discover the flag which you have pledged allegiance, has not pledged allegiance to you. It comes as a great shock to discover that the country, which is your birthplace, has not in its whole system of reality evolved any place for you. And in the 80s, there's almost like this return to that 1950s ethos, but like a doubling down on it.

We can, and so help us God, we will make America great again. And the dream itself being unbridled wealth, but also unbridled power. That's that thing that makes the 80s and the rise of Donald Trump really tantalizing for a lot of people, both in the 80s and subsequently. By the turn of the century, Donald Trump's larger-than-life persona had begun to fade. Before The Apprentice, Donald Trump was kind of a washed-up businessman.

He had declared bankruptcy. You know, his casinos had failed. So when the opportunity to host a new, survivor-ish business show came up, he suddenly had a chance to revive that persona. Kayfabe for the 21st century. My name's Donald Trump, and I'm the largest real estate developer in New York. I own buildings all over the place, model agencies, the Miss Universe pageant, casinos, and private resorts like Mar-a-Lago. I'm looking for The Apprentice.

People assumed, or Trump supporters at least, that if he's a wealthy, successful, powerful businessman, you don't make a billion dollars being an idiot. He must also be really good at everything else. I think he's smart enough to run the country. I grew up with my family loving Trump. He's got a little Reagan in him, which is always a good thing. So make America great again. Make America great again. The forgotten men and women of America will be forgotten no longer. That is the heart of this new movement. And then bringing it all back to the rage machine. As the Trump campaign helps stoke America's outrage. Get her out of here.

Protesters have always been part of the cost of doing business. Stoked. Anxiety. Fear. Rage. That little catchphrase is the candidate's version of what The Apprentice used to say. You're fired. You're fired.

You're fired. And then promised he was the only one who could help. This, in fact, is our new American moment. There has never been a better time to start living the American dream. See, it is the reality TV formula, right? During the years when Trump went from apprentice host to president of the United States, reality TV also got a makeover, thanks to a couple factors. Reality television itself is becoming sort of focused on celebrities

in a way that it hadn't been before. Some jabroni just asked my daughter on a date. That would be awesome. No, she's not going out with him. Not as long as my name's all COVID. The Writers Guild of America went out on strike. And a writer's strike in 2007 led to a boom in new, cheaper-to-make,

unscripted reality TV shows. Kim, would you stop taking pictures of yourself? Your sister's going to jail. Kim came into her prime exactly as social media was becoming the way of the world. That's lightning in a bottle, timing. Hi, my name is Jeff Jenkins. I'm the founder of JJP, Jeff Jenkins Productions.

I've been the executive producer of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and all of its spinoffs for the first decade of its existence. 911, what are you reporting? This is AC. I have OJ in the car. Mr. Kardashian was one of the attorneys representing OJ, and that unique last name, Kardashian, was kind of broadcast around the world. If you grow up with that, and it's seeping into your pores,

it just becomes part of who you are. When I first saw video of the entire family, that bell goes off. Maybe Keeping Up With The Kardashians is the reality Brady Bunch. I hate you all. Welcome to my family. I hate you all. Welcome to my family. I'm Kim Kardashian.

Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Bruce Jenner, Rob, Kendall and Kylie, baby sisters of a second marriage. Like all of us, they're a dysfunctional family,

just like ours. That's relatable. I'll punch you in your face. They may fight, but any outsider, you're not going to mess with us. I do think their dysfunction is kind of at a Shakespearean level. Kim and Chris headed for divorce just 72 days after tying the knot. Chloe was in rare form. Especially when it came to her ex, Lamar. The world got its first look at Caitlyn Jenner, the Olympic hero turned reality.

Her hair appears to be styled like an Afro. Teens are using a shot glass prescription bottles to plump up their lips like Kylie Jenner. Critics say that the photos are an example of cultural appropriation. Kim Kardashian breaks down in tears over her marriage troubles with Kanye West on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. They're coming up on being the longest running reality show period in history. And they have built a multi-billion dollar brand off of sharing their lives. Some have nicknamed them America's royal family. Others see them as more of a brand than a family. And that, at least, isn't totally new.

We're so used to seeing the queen as head of state. There's almost something unreal about her. It's actually her family that make her real. The divorces, the scandals, the family rifts, And back in the 1960s, John F. Kennedy, who came to power at the same time TVs became a fixture in every American home, used his made-for-TV smile and charm to captivate the country. People just really not only loved Kennedy, but developed a parasocial relationship with his family. People wanted to know everything about them. And the gossip mill was always turning with some new story. Did Kennedy smoke pot? Why was the Queen of England mad at Jackie? Was Kennedy having an affair with Marilyn Monroe? Folks like Marilyn Monroe, perhaps unwittingly, were in some ways also living in a reality show.

But what makes the Kardashians different is they didn't start as politicians or actors or singers. Their story began with a high-profile murder case and a sex tape. Q Ray J, sexy can I. I'm just kidding. We're going to keep it classy. And the reality TV machine transformed them into one of the most influential families on the planet. A symbol of a new version of the American dream. One of wealth, excess, and celebrity. Tailored for a world where we ourselves are branded content. But making it work is a dream that's attainable for only a very few. The facts bear out that there is very limited economic mobility in our country. But because

of American exceptionalism, individualism, pull yourself up by your bootstraps culture, people really believe that they can. The trade-off? Constantly having a camera track your every move, watching you in your most vulnerable moments, and letting the world judge you for it. Kim, whose destiny is this experience of being on television and sharing, had very few boundaries. She will reassure me, no, keep rolling.

Honey, I'm the Marilyn and the Jack. What is performance? And what's reality? Welcome. You've got mail. When I think about myself as a teenager first on the internet what was the number one rule you don't share personal information about yourself with strangers on the internet and you know fast forward 20 years later goodbye Goodbye. What are we all doing? We're sharing everything about our lives with strangers on the internet. Everybody has a smartphone. Everybody has a camera on them at all times.

There's this intense expectation that not only are you going to record every aspect of your life, but that it's going to look absolutely perfect and beautiful. And there's no end. Just keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling forever and ever and ever. Do you think that people today in our modern worlds are more lonely than they've ever been? I do. Coming up, the realities of love and loneliness. This is Eric Massey from Amsterdam, and you're listening to ThruLine, one of the best podcasts there are.

Part three. You found love in a hopeless place. I almost sang the Rihanna song, but I wouldn't do it because I feel like that would be the take you use. Here he is, The Bachelor. Why on earth are you doing this? I was thinking that I want to meet someone great. Well, really the easy part is going to be meeting

these 25 women. The tough part is deciding which 15 you're going to invite to get to know you a little bit better. These are real women, and they are really looking for a husband. I mean, if this is going to be a fairy tale, how perfect would that be? The idea of a soulmate, of the one, was around way before The Bachelor. No matter what I ever do or say, Heathcliff. I've loved you since I was 11. You'll always have Paris.

I hate it when you make me laugh. Even worse when you make me cry. You complete me. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. The Bachelor, which has been on TV for 20 years now,

fused reality with that fantasy and made us believe we could have it too. I want to be everything to you. I want to be everything for you. And then it comes right to this romantic fairy tale conclusion. It ends with a proposal and a beautiful diamond ring. And so what we're seeing, right, is the fairy tale. Bring in Bachelor producer. Like a lot of people think it's like, oh, let's just find the craziest person to get good ratings. But it's actually not because to have people watch, you have to buy into the fantasy.

And then to buy into the fantasy, you have to know that, you know, there are potentially great matches for people. Sometimes when something's really hokey, it almost gives us permission to get lost in it because it's kind of like, you know, this is silly, right? We all know this is a construction, right? Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, we suspend disbelief. It allows us to sort of lower our defenses and kind of fully indulge. But also, I think the real always seeps out. Even before the pandemic struck, this was the lonely century.

Technology has led to substituting online connections for offline in-person connections. And ultimately, I think that has been harmful. The lonelier we get, the more seductive the fantasy that we'll find real human connection becomes. And the easier it is to feel invested in shows like The Bachelor, where the engagement ring is the ultimate grand prize. We have our

favorites, right? Our proxies, who we want to win, who we start to form parasocial relationships with. And as modern love becomes increasingly online and competitive, reality TV has evolved to mirror today's dating dilemmas. In my head, it is really easy to sift out F-boys, but y'all be so confused. You'd be like, how did this happen? Oh my God, I thought he was this. And it was like, sis, is you blind? And that is why we're here. F-Boy Island. 24 men are coming right here. They're not really about love and dating. They're about something else. And they're really just sort of competitive shows anyway. They're more like, they're kind of like Survivor in some ways. It's almost like an enactment, right, of the dating apps.

It's just like, kind of swipe. I mean, certainly there's a lot more physicality, but just going through partners. He was making me feel uncomfortable. We're going to be sweet buddies. I've been in, like, situations. I'm uncomfortable. We're going to be sweet buddies. I've been in like situations. I'm kidding. You know, I have a couple seconds where I'm deciding if I want to swipe left or swipe right. They're kind of curating this image.

And if you can't curate that image, right, does that mean that that avenue is closed to you? And I think different people, you know, some people will say, no, I don't have a problem with it. But I think the majority, if you ask the majority, right, they're going to say if you're not conventionally attractive and don't meet sort of X, Y and Z criteria, you're not going to get any matches. And then what do you do? Where do you go to actually meet somebody that you can make a connection with? That question has led to frustration, hopelessness, and a sense of grievance that's flourishing online and reflecting back into our TV shows. Cue the radio machine. Again.

You interrupted our date because you couldn't handle me and her alone. What's mine is mine. And what's yours is mine. That's not fair. And I don't want it. We made experience, right, this emotion, right, of schadenfreude. Such a great word. It's happiness at the misfortune of others.

When they get into fights, when they get too drunk and embarrass themselves. You've embarrassed me in front of everyone. You've made me look stupid in front of everyone. So yeah, I'm going to react. I'm going to defend myself. I think that it's fascinating that a lot of contemporary shows around love are much more focused on relationship dynamics. 90 Day Fiance, Married at First Sight.

This is a revolutionary new social experiment. This is the first time an experiment like this has ever been done in the U.S. Four experts intend to use scientific research to arrange three marriages. Essentially what happens after people find each other, as opposed to treating marriage, for instance, as the ultimate goal or the end of the story, right? We're kind of like picking up after Cinderella

and Prince Charming get married and being like, so what were the expectations like now that she was back in the castle? Like, what happened then? Why, it's like a dream. A wonderful dream come true. I'm so sick of this. Go away then, go away.

Are you happy? No. The fantasy is breaking down. And to keep us hooked, reality shows about love are acknowledging more and more just how hard it is not only to find human connection, but to sustain it. Like, I really would love it if you could just kind of, like, get more into, like, a husband mentality.

Those quieter moments when people are having a conversation about, I can't believe you did, like, that's when the real slips out. Like, what's your expectation? Do you think you're just going to build me into who you want me to be? I view these shows as acknowledging for viewers a growing cynicism, quite frankly, around like traditional models and narratives around love and around relationships. whether it's reality television or like classic hollywood cinema media has always been a site of fantasy projection it's it's a place for us to work out our hopes our desires our anxieties our fears and i think reality television serves that purpose really, really well. Life is a series of events that don't make narrative sense. There aren't any conclusions. So reality television provides that for us.

You know, there's a way that people talk about television and media and reality TV within that as being a reflection of reality. I actually think it's a refraction of reality. I actually think it's a refraction of reality. It's taking things that are happening in real life and sort of skewing them and sometimes presenting them back to us in ways that are perfectly aligned with reality and in some ways are skewed in such a way that make us question what we thought we knew about reality. Okay, cue the final scene of the Truman Show when the show's creator finally speaks directly to Truman after televising him without his knowledge since the day he was born.

I have been watching you your whole life. You can't leave,uman you belong here say something say something god damn it you're on television you're live to the whole world bring up doine ending music. And roll credits. That's it for this week's show. I'm Randabin Fattah. I'm Ramteen Adablui.

And you've been listening to Dueline from NPR. This episode was produced by me. And me and... Thank you to Cher Vincent, Nigery Ian, Tamar Charney, and Anya Grunman. Fact-checking for this episode was done by Kevin Voelkel. This episode was mixed by Gilly Moon.

Music for this episode was composed by Ramtin and his band, Drop Electric, which includes... And finally, if you have an idea or like something you heard on the show, please write us at ThruLine at NPR.org. Thanks for listening. This message comes from NPR sponsor Grammarly. What if everyone at work were an expert communicator? Inbox numbers would drop, customer satisfaction scores would rise, and everyone would be more productive. That's what happens when you give Grammarly to your entire team. Grammarly is

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