Are Our Standards Too High? Confessions of Harvard & Stanford MBAs
00:00Welcome guys to a very special episode of Tiger Sisters, our Ask Me Anything episode. So today's topicis all about love. Woohoo! On the Tiger Sisters podcast, we talk about money, power, and love.And so today we're specifically focused on dating, romance, love, all the questions, because we put itout there for you guys. We asked you, what do you want to know? And you came back to us with some of thejuiciest questions. Yeah, some of these are like kind of wild. We just wanted to acknowledge,We see your questions, guys.We see all the questions coming in that are asking about our love lives and our dating philosophies.And we want to talk about it.
00:37It's an important part of life.Let's dive in.I'm Gene.I'm Sheree.And we're the Tiger Sisters.We are your Wall Street and Silicon Valley Big Sisters.And we are the number one top business podcast on Spotify that talks about money, power, and today, love.Okay, let's start with the first question.
01:10This one is really funny.it is what's your ick that instantly kills attraction no matter how hot they are?I'm just going to put it out there.I don't quite know how to phrase it to make it more palatable, but this is my ick.I've honestly, I've dated some people who are handsome and good looking, but my ick is whena guy knows that they're handsome and good looking.Oh.Do you know what I mean?
01:35It's just like, how do I explain this?Don't they all know?No.because I think my type of person that I'm attracted to is like there's humility, they're humble.A blind handsome man.Her ideal type is a model who's blind.Actually, no, it's more that it's a bullied handsome man.Let me clarify.
02:03I think being bullied in your childhood as someone who was bullied, I think it's a bullied,I think it builds character, obviously, to a point.But I think if you were like a little bit nerdy as a kid.Yeah, yeah, yeah.If you were a little bit nerdy as a kid, it builds character.Also, like, deep inside you are a nerd, you have interests.And then you end up working on yourself and you end up going to the gym, like a superhero story kind of in a way.Okay.
02:30And you don't realize that you're hot, but obviously the guy is hot.Like, that's my type.She wants a hot man with a villain origin story.No, with a superhero origin story.know, because I've dated guys in the past who are just, this is a little bit, sounds a little bit harsh,but like self-absorbed. I just put the word out there. They're self-absorbed. They like,they know they look good. They know they look good. They love their abs. I love their abs. But wecan't both love your abs. Like, they have to feel, they have to be humble about it. So that's an
03:03I'm just like, oh, you know you're, like, I know you're good looking, but if you know you're good looking,I don't know. It's just a turnoff.Like I think women can think they're hot shit, but I don't like it when guys think they're hot shit.I had a more direct answer.Okay, what is your ick?I was going to say, okay, I got the ick ones when this guy I was seeing wore slides.Oh.Like Nike slides?
03:30No.Like athletic slides?Like foam sandal slides.Was this a guy that you dated recently?Maybe. I think I saw those slides and I was embarrassed for you. I got the ick as well.Okay, this is going off the rails. I was going to answer the question very directly.Oh, well, wasn't mine? Yeah, yours is direct too. Mine was a direct answer. Yeah, yeah.Was it just like a thing about like he doesn't have style? No, I don't know. I was just like, can we get a photo of slides?
04:05Like we'll like we'll edit in an image of like the slides you're talking. They were like, like,They look, no, they weren't crocs.They were fake crocs.They were Walmart crocs.No, they were like those yeezy slides.Uh-huh.But I don't think they were yeezy, but like, you know, those foam slides.Yeah, they're fake easy slides.
04:20Um, I actually had an ex-boyfriend who had those two, but they were not the ones with the toes out.Like, yours, the ones that you had had the toes out.Mine were they're like the clogs, the phone clogs.Yeah.Yeah.I don't like it when guys have like not nice feet.this is too personalnot nice feet like hairy feet
04:42no it's just like you knowlike you have to yeah like you have to take care of your feetwell sorry manicured is not the right word like they're just like dirtyyeah now I'm self-conscious because my feet are showingbut I have nice feet guys um yeahalthough I've never really like encountered that up close and personalI guess because of my predilectionfor nice feet only
05:05They just can't be dirty feet.I think dirty feet are gross.Yes.But like they need to be like...Yeah.They have to have some level of...Yeah.Like the feet are...
05:17Yeah.It's like a representation of how you carry yourself.Can we go back to the slides?What is it about the slides that was the ick?Was it like this grown man is wearing easy slides?I don't know.I think he was already on the way out.I was already...
05:34It was like the last...draw. Yeah. I think it was more like a represent. It was like a physical manifestation. It wasit was the easy slide that broke the canvas back.First of all, it's only like a certain type of guy who's going to wear like a foam slide. True.And it's hard to pull off. You're going to wear a foam slide in my presence. That's true. That's whatI mean. It's kind of saying a lot about who he is. Yeah. Does that sound insane?Well, I guess he's really comfortable around you to be himself and you just rejected that.You said, don't be yourself.
06:08Try a little harder.I was like, be 90% yourself.Yeah.The 10% is the phone.Well, I mean, yeah, don't let yourself go.Yeah.It was representative of that, I think.See, the slides is deep.
06:23But also, if someone's already on their way out, like, you know it's not going to work or, like, you know, you don't have a good feeling about the situationor relationship that you're in, any small thing will become an ink.Like it's not really about the slides.And like it is, but it's also not.Yeah.Yeah.I just put all my focused on my energy, negative energy on the slides.You look down to the ground.
06:48Yeah.Yeah.No, I had this one X that only wore socks to sleep.My God.I need to have pearls to clutch.Why?And there were specific sucks.They were like middies, you know, like the socks that like go up to here that like
07:04lacrosse players.and like football soccer players wear or whatever but he had really nice feet but he would hide themwith his socks yeah why would he wear them to bed to like moisturize his feet no because i don't know he's justlike he felt comfortable that way but i've never experienced that before but see that wasn't an ickthat could have been an ick no when you like when you like someone you there's no icks you don'tget icked out right when you don't actually like someone anything and everything is an ick but like me liketelling that to you guys now or telling you, like, oh, he used to wear socks to sleep.Like, you would think that would be an ick.
07:41But I was like, oh, that's kind of like cute.That's so true.Right?It is just a mindset if you like someone.Yeah.It magnifies.Yes, it magnifies how you feel about something.Yes, yes, exactly.
07:54I also thought of, now that we're on the topic of feet and socks.This is like a case study.It's like the socks to sleep versus the slides.True.True. They're both feet related. Oddly. Okay, listen, listen to this guys. I don't know how else to say it and I think people are going to come for me. It's also about feet and socks. I do not like it when men wear those tiny, tiny socks. Oh my God, same. I hate them. Ew. It's so gross. I think it is so gross. And someone I'm dating actually wears them, but I don't even get the ick. Like anyone else who does it is gross, but when he does it, it's only a little.it gross.What are you going to tell him?Oh, that's a good question.
08:41Next time I see him.I don't know.Before this podcast comes out.It's something about the tiny sock.I hate the tiny sock.I hate the tiny sock.Because I don't even do the tiny sock.No.
08:53I don't think women do the tiny sock or the women who do are like 65 and older.And so that's my association with a tiny sock.And then it's like cute.Yeah, when it's an old lady.Yeah, with a tiny sock.Yeah, with a tiny sock.With like a sheer little tiny sock.But if like a man is wearing like loafers or something and the tiny sock comes out,
09:10I guess you can have the tiny sock on, just don't let me see it.I don't want to see the tiny sock.I don't know.How come you don't like the tiny sock?They're weird.They grip the foot too tightly.And they're too thin.And they like are a weird.
09:28They make the foot.That's what I mean.They make the foot look really weird.I know.Like it contours the foot in a weird way.That's what I was like it grips the foot too tightly for a man.I don't want to see the shapeliness of your foot in a tiny sock.You can see like every toe.
09:49I don't want to see your cleavage, your toe cleavage in a tiny sock.So next question.As she's dying from laughter.She's literally crying, guys.All right, on to the next question.The next question is, what is the pettiest reason you've refused a second date?I have one.So this feels...
10:14She's like petty?Hold my drink.Yeah, seriously.I went on a date last year.It was a first date with this guy.And I thought it was going to be really good because we had a lot of similar hobbies and interests.He's like very sporty.We ended up talking about skiing, which is one of my favorite, favorite hobbies.
10:32Gene and I love skiing.We've done it with our family friends and we do it growing up.And I do it every year.I have like a group trip with my friends and we go skiing.Love skiing.But the thing is it came out that...This episode brought to you by skiing.That'd be great.
10:50Brought to you by icon pass.But it came out in conversation with this guy that like if it's a really good snow day,follow me here.If it's a really good snow day, he is going to.to ditch the group or ditch the person that he's with to go chase the snow or like have a reallygood time by himself, which to me it was just a really red flag because I've skied with people likethat and they're just not really team players. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but likethere's an abundant amount of ski. This is abundance mindset. Like you can have many, many good ski days,
11:27but if you're with your friends, you want to stick with the group, you want to hang out. It's like if you'veever gone on a hike with anyone and they like speed ahead and you're like, hello, there's like a group ofpeople here. We're all hanging out and having a good time. But the person who needs to speed ahead is liketrying to get a workout in. It's just weird to me. That it's not like a group. It's selfish. They're puttingtheir like workout slash pow day ahead of being with the group. The point is to bond.Being with people or like even being with me. Like I don't want to be ditched. And like I don't know.I've felt pressure before with one of my exes too. Maybe it was kind of triggering where like he wantedhave a really good ski day, but I'm like, I thought we're here doing this together. And so it just
12:05kind of brought me back to that. And I was like, I cannot be with someone who is a selfish skier.And that also translates to other parts of the relationship too. If he can't even ski with you,how is you going to be your baby daddy? Oh. That's where my mindset is nowadays. I mean,kind of. If he's going to leave you behind on the mountain to enjoy something else,for himself, like, will he be the person to, like, wake up in the middle of the night and care for acrying baby? Yeah, he's going to leave you behind and go on a golf trip while you're stuck at home,changing diapers. So, is it a petty reason? I don't know. I think it's, it was indicative to meas, like, a larger thing, especially because I brought it up on the date. It was the first date. I don't
12:54know this person. I'm going to bring things up. I'm like, I don't care. So I brought it up. And he wasjust, like, kind of defensive about it. So I don't know. It's, it's. I don't know. It's,just didn't bode well. So there was no second date there. Well, you know, he's probably out therejust skiing by himself alone right now. And enjoying himself, as he should, without me. Go off,King. Go off the mountain king. Go off paced king. Go off pieced, exactly. That was good.Thanks. Okay, so what is the pettiest reason that you refused a second date?Maybe this is stupid. We'll cut it out. But I went on a first date. And,And it was like, I thought there was going to be food there, but there wasn't food.
13:38And it was just drinks.And the kitchen had just closed.So then I was like, oh, but I'm like hungry.Like, what should we do?And then I had to basically like solve this food problem for myself.This food scarcity.Yeah.So then I had to go to this like side area where they had like chips.
13:56And then I went and like bought myself chips and then brought it back to our date.Yeah.That's weird.That's weird. That's the, I'm getting the ick for you. I was like, hello? Like, you asked me on this date and I'm hungry. Like, why aren't you, this is your problem? This is like, you should be solving this. Like, how could you think that I would be at all impressed or, like, interested in seeing you again if you cannot even feed me on this date that you asked me out on? Can I have some nuts, please? Some nuts and chips. Yeah. Well, also, I think the thing is it's like not a hard problem to.solve. He can pull out his Google Maps be like, are you, do you want tacos? We can go next door.Or like, you know, it's, it's also an indicator of like kind of being like taken care of in a way.Right. In a very, very small way. And if you can't show that on a date.Well, I'm just like, hello. Like, do you know how to do anything? Is that so mean?
14:51No, I have the same reaction. Yeah. So maybe we're both mean. I don't know. But then also you then,you go on dates with guys who can do things and who do do things. And you're like, this is veryattractive. It's very attractive. This is amazing. And I'm like, thank you for problem solving. And like,I never have to take out my Google Maps. And I never have to look up like the restaurant that we go tobecause you propose three things. And I was like, this is fabulous. Oh, yeah. And it is when you have tobust out Google Maps on a, on a date. What? I said an ick is when you have to bust out Google Maps on adate on your phone. I don't do that anymore. No, yeah. I'm like, why, why I'm not? Well, also,that's not what I'm here for. It's not my job here. To give more context, Gene and I, obviously are
15:35like very capable of doing it and we've been doing it for all our lives. And so when it comes tolike a romantic relationship, I'm like, I don't want to do that anymore. I do it for work. I do it formy mom. I do it for myself. And I'm like, if I'm going to be in a romantic relationship with a man,I'm like, take over.Yeah. I don't need to be looking up directions.I don't. Or places to eat.Yeah.This episode of Tiger Sisters is brought to you by Square.
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16:53dollars off Square hardware when you sign up at Square.com slash go slash Tiger Sisters.That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash go slash Tiger Sisters.Run your business smarter with Square.Get started today.Okay, so just to be clear, we don't hate men.We're not man-haters.We actually love men.We do.
17:12Yeah.I think this is a good segue to the next question.Yeah.Which is, what's the most romantic thing someone ever did for you?I am an acts of service, girly.I, that's one of my love languages.I like receiving acts of service as a way to receive love.And so one of the guys that I dated last year when I was really sick, he, he worked in finance
17:37and has a very demanding schedule.And despite that, he learned how to make chicken soup, which is fine.But he didn't even have a pot.So he moved to L.A. recently.So he doesn't, he wasn't all set up.in his apartment.Excusees, excuses.And I also don't.
17:56She dates men without pots.I also don't think he cooks.So maybe that's what it is.Like he,you know,he gets fed by.He orders in.He orders in and like at work and stuff.
18:05So he doesn't really cook at home.So then he went to Costco to buy like a new culinary set to even make me soup fromscratch,which I'm sure you can also buy chicken soup at Costco.He didn't do that.He got all the raw ingredients.He looked up a recipe like cooked for four hours or like simmered for four hourswhile he was like back.
18:23and forth doing work and then checking on the soup. Then he brought it over. But get this,he didn't just bring me chicken soup. He brought me, he brought me chicken soup. He brought me pastaso I can like mix it together. And he separated like in different like mason jars, like just broth.Then he separated some of like the carrots and veggies. Then he separated in a different container.There was like so many containers. And he had to buy all the mason jars obviously.Yes. And then he separated the.chicken. And so like I could mix and match however I wanted to. I can make chicken noodle soup when Iwas hungry. And it was just so incredibly thoughtful, thought out and acts of service. And
19:05it's not even like a money thing because like this man has a very high paying job and like couldhave like ordered me soup from a restaurant. But like he spent like a lot of time doing it.Especially when time is such a scarce resource for him for work. And he was working over the weekendand everything. Time was the premium there. It really was. It was time and thoughtfulness and care.And I thought it was really romantic. Yeah. I remember when this happened and I was very impressed.Yeah. I was thinking all the photos and sending it to my girlfriends and my like group chats. You know theythey ate it up. No, but they ate that up. They loved it. I loved it. I approved of that that instance.Yeah. I thought that was really nice. So Gene, what is the most romantic
19:51thing someone has done for you. Okay. So I might have a little bit of like recency bias right now as we alldo. But one of the guys I was dating recently, it wasn't just like one thing. It was basically like aseries of things that were one like proved that he was like really listening. And then two,that he like did something about it to surprise and delight me. And like you know me. I love a surprise anddelight moments.Don't we all?As a former, you know, game maker.But I remember, I think at some point we were talking about like, you know, favorite books
20:33or like something like that.And I guess I told him at one point that my favorite play was our town.And on the next date, he showed up with this like vintage, like early edition versionof our town.And it was like wrapped in this bow.and I was just like I was totally not expecting it at all.I don't even remember telling him that.It was just like a very casual, like I think it was even like on text conversation.
21:00Yeah.And it was just like so thoughtful that he remembered it, went out of his way.Like this is not like the craziest lift in the world, but he like went out of his way to, to find it online, this early edition version and order it and then like surprise me with it on the next date.And then he, the thing is it's not just that he did it one time.It was like, he did multiple things like that.So I think we were texting again at one point and I made some joke.And I was like, ha ha, he was like, that's a really funny joke.I was like, ha, where are my flowers?
21:32And then the next morning he texted me.He was like, hey, remember when you said, where are my flowers?Like, check the door.And then he had door dashed like a bunch, like a beautiful bouquet to me.So like it was just like, what was the question?Do you want to get back together?with him? No. Yeah, same. But I think it's the details. It's like the details. It's the small things.It's the small moments. I mean, not that the book was small or like the flowers are small,
22:01the chicken soup is small. But like I guess it also goes to show that it's like not really like a money thing.Yeah. I mean, they're small in the grand scheme of things. It's not a big ask. It's not a big ask.It's like anyone can do those things easily. The internet, you know, e-commerce. It's out there guys.Yeah. And I think it's these small everyday things that make every day feel special.That's what it is. Yeah. Especially when you're sick and like also when you like kind of, you know,want to be thought of. Yeah. I think people want to feel seen. People want to feel understood.People want to feel appreciated. I think those are all kind of like precursors to romantic love.Okay. The next question is, what is? What is?
22:49one mistake you kept making in relationships until you finally learned? I'm thinking about twoexes that I've had in the past, maybe one in college, one right after college. And I felt likeI had to dim my light. I felt like I had to be maybe like a 65% version of myself because that'swhat was palatable. And it wasn't something that was like completely in my head, like in a relationshipwith these people, like they would laugh, you know, when I would tell them what I wanted to do.Or if I was actually doing something, they-Derisively?Yes.
23:25Yes.They would just kind of look down upon what I was doing or maybe the jokes that I would make.It wouldn't even be that.Sometimes it wouldn't be serious.Sometimes it would be.But the unsurious way is like I'd make a joke and they would think it was like a reallydumb joke.Or I would tell them like, oh, at work, this really cool thing is happening.
23:43And then they would kind of like shit on it.And not even like in a mean way, but in a way that like,would put me down.And so then I would either have to like not talk about those things or like hide thoseparts of myself.Like I really did that to make myself more palatable or like to keep the relationship goingbecause it was satisfying in other ways.Yeah.
24:03Like emotionally satisfying in other ways.Yeah.But I can't do that anymore.It's just so exhausting to be a 65% version of yourself.Any percent version of yourself that's not 100% with a partner, romantic partner.Yeah, because then you just end up slowly turning into a version of yourself that's not even yourself.And you don't even notice it.And when you kind of, I don't know, I feel like that manifests itself in other ways in your body.
24:37And then you have all this sort of like inflammation and you're like feeling physically unwell and you can't figure out why.I think that that's all related, the mind-body sort of axis.Yeah.When you have to repress certain parts of yourself, it's going to come out in other ways.Like, your skin will be bad or your hair will be bad or your face will be puffy or something.I think it's also, it ends up, it's like a weird, like, effect result type of thing, too.Because as a result of feeling like you need to be a smaller percent of yourself or a different version of yourself.or a different version of yourself,
25:15you are becoming a version that they are accustomed toand that they grow to love that other version of you,but it's not you.So you're just not only hurting yourself,but you're also kind of like duping the other person,which is incredibly unfair to them.So like, I don't know,there's like an effect result type of thing
25:33and like it's kind of circularand like no one really wins at the end of the day.It's a negative flywheel effect.Correct.I am a huge believer in science.As one of the top 25 women patent holders in the U.S., I live in the space where research, rigor, and innovation meet.So when I try something new, especially for health or skin, I want to know that the science checks out.That's why Sheree and I connected so deeply with one skin.
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27:01Okay.So our next question is, have you ever ghosted someone for a dumber reason than you'd admit?And I think this is a really interesting topic because we talk about.ghosting now. In society. In society, but ghosting is really big. I haven't ghosted in a very longtime. It's probably been like, I don't know, like since I've sincerely ghosted someone, like,in earnest, like Casper style. It was in college or my early 20s, especially because like when you'reon dating apps in your early 20s, then like, you don't know me, I don't know you. And there's like noaccountability there. And so like you can be talking to someone. And so like you can be talking to someone.
27:40and then like, I don't even, even accidentally ghost them too.I mean, does that even count as ghosting?Oh, okay.So what counts as coasting then?Like purposefully ignoring someone?Yeah, like if you know them.Yeah.You've been on dates and stuff.
27:55Yeah, I tried to ghost this guy in college.It was a guy that I was seeing and I did not do well with confrontation then.And I wanted to stop seeing him.But he kept texting me.And he was older too.He was like four or five years older.I thought he would get the idea.But yeah.
28:13But then I was kind of just like shirking him.Who shirking?Yeah.And like not really responding to his messages or putting it off.Right.It was my version of ghosting.And if I were a bigger person, honestly, and I'm like quite embarrassed by my ghosting,if I were a bigger person then, I would have been like, hey, like I'm not really interested in continuing this.
28:30Like something like that is like easier to say than I felt.Like I was just, I just thought it would be easier to not say anything.I guess my response is like sometimes you don't know if you want to see them or not.Do you do a lot of ghosting? That sounds like you do a lot of ghosting.I don't know. Like sometimes you're just in the mood to chat and sometimes you're not. Is that ghosting?I don't know. A girl can have her moods. God forbid a girl have some moods.Okay, I have to share something.What?
29:05So let me know if you think this is ghosting. But I would.was apparently, it was brought to my attention that I ghosted. Yes. Because I was talking to,apparently, I don't even have any recollection of this. I was talking. This is alleged ghosting.Alleged ghosting. Apparently I was talking to this guy on a dating app and I like stopped answering for somereason. Like we hadn't even met up. We hadn't gone on a date. Is this ghosting? I don't know.We hadn't gone on a date, but we're talking on a dating app. I don't even remember this.But then maybe like four, three or four years later, we're at a group dinner with my friends.Yes.
29:42Yes.And then, and my friend brings her new boyfriend.The chickens came home to roost at this dinner.My girlfriend brings her new boyfriend.And we're all in a car together, like going to the next bar or whatever.And like later that night, she's like, hey, by the way, so my new boyfriend said that you guysmatched on a dating app and you guys chatted for a bit.but then you stopped answering.
30:05And we were laughing about it.And he, like, remembered me.But, like, we were like, me and my girlfriend are laughing about it because we're very close.But I'm like, I had no idea.I was like, I was like, and how do you even respond to that?I was like, oh, yeah.Like, we probably matched.He's really cute.
30:18Like, did you remember that happening?Did you remember him?No.Yikes.I mean, I don't remember, but I was just like, oh, yeah, we probably matched.He's really cute.I'm like, I'm so happy for you.That you're in this new relationship.
30:32You're like, he seems great.And off the market now.Yeah.But anyways.Congratulations.That's when ghosting was brought to my attention.Huh.When you just stopped answering in a dating app.
30:46I guess for me, my conception of a dating app is that there's no responsibility to continue toThere's no.It's like if you, to me a dating app is like being on the streets.Like if you pass someone on the street and you had like a few conversations like a few, you know,exchanges with them.There's no responsibility to continue the conversation unless they've gotten your phone number or whatnot.Maybe.If you guys have any idea, please let us know in the comments, what constitutes as ghosting?
31:18Should I let this ghost haunt me?Because I feel quite badly about it.Okay, so the next question is, have you ever had to downplay your success while dating?Yeah, I think in the last five years, I really had to downplay.play my, like, livelihood on social media because I didn't want to scare the other person off.I think there's so many misconceptions about being a content creator or, God forbid, an influencer,which, like, I sometimes don't even like calling myself that.She's a LinkedIn influencer, guys.
31:52The worst kind.I have the best kind, actually.I haven't influenced in many ways.But I feel like going into a first date, especially if it's a hinge thing, like I don't want,I don't know you, you don't know me.And like, I don't want to scare them off.Maybe that's dimming my own light.I'm incredibly proud of what I do and so excited about what I do.
32:11But, like, I don't know.I think it's a lot, it can be a lot for someone to handle.Whereas if I'm going into like meeting a friend or someone for a coffee, like, I'm, like, talking about it all the time.And like, I bring my passion, my excitement.But in my first date, like, I don't know.There's just so many preconceived notions about it.Oh, interesting.And people who might not understand when I say I'm an influencer, they might.
32:32like think negative it might be like a ding huh so that's like me you know kind of dimming mylight still god damn it yeah i don't think i do that i also don't really like date people that idon't know at all like i don't really date strangers per se so like they already have an ideaof who i am so there's no like skirting around that i do think sometimes i do that for justpeople I meet for the first time, I don't like tell them. I'm not like, yeah, I'm Gene,co-host of Tiger Sisters, number one business podcast on Spotify in the United States.Like I don't go into all that because you don't say that in that voice. I'm Gene.I think it's more so for just like strangers that I meet. I don't put it all out there
33:25because it feels like showing off kind of. Yeah. But if it's for someone that I'm dating,like they're going to find out sooner rather than later.And like, I don't know.I'm proud of what we do.I'm proud of everything I've done like in my career.It's a big part of who I am.So I just couldn't imagine being with someone who like would be turned off by that.Like I couldn't even imagine like what type of person they would be.
33:54I just certainly not the right person for me.Well, of course.But I think especially the tech bro and SF.like I think they don't get itthe way that like in LAit's much more commonof a professionespecially since you've been here
34:09for like seven,eight years.Yeah.Like it's more like normal.Like if I say I'm an influencerin like San Francisco.Okay.Then I feel super judged.
34:21Yeah, true.I've never said I'm an influencer.I mean, I'm not an influencer.You are.I'm a podcast host.Oh.I mean, you're both.But like I don't,
34:30I'm not an influencer.So I've never presented myself that way.Yeah.I think it just comes off.It can come off unsurious.Yeah.Unfortunately.And so, yeah.
34:42But then, like, they lose out.It's their, then they're, like, narrow-minded.They're provincial.I agree.It's, like, a good test.I agree.Okay, the next question that we have is, is it okay to date someone that you work with?Hmm.
35:03Okay.context is that Jean and I both have done this at different, sorry for outing you, at different timesin our lives. And I would say both of our examples kind of ended in disaster. Is that fair?Or awkwardness because when you break up with someone and it is not necessarily amicable orit's just like not, it's not cute. And then you have to see them in the workplace.Mine was fine because he left the company. I was saved. But then you have to see them at,before he left the company, you would see him in the common spaces, maybe the cafe or likewalking into the building. It's just like a nervousness for me. Let me speak for myself,
35:44like where I'd walk into the building and I'd be like, oh God, I hope so and so doesn't walk in at thesame time. Like that just occupies some part of my brain that I cannot shut off. Yeah. Well,I guess for me, the person that I did, like, I think even before we broke up, he left the company.so I never had that one instance.So I never learned my, I didn't learn my lesson and then I ended up sort of doing it again.Really?You don't know everything about me.Okay.
36:12Clearly not.You were young.You were like, I don't know, like 15 or something.Like I'm not to tell you this stuff.Wait, so you dated someone at Goldman?Oh, well, yeah, I did that too, but not in my direct group.Okay.Well, who are you talking about?
36:30You don't even know them.I don't need a name, but what company were you at?After Goldman.Ed Zinger?Yeah.But not the guy that I know?No.A person after that person?
36:42Yeah.But how would it make sense to tell me about the first person and not the second person?Because the second person wasn't like serious.It was more like a fling.Oh, I see.Yeah.And how did that work out for you?Wait, dating two people at the same company?
36:59That's a power move.One right after the other.That's a power move.No, it wasn't right after the other.I don't think.I don't remember.This was like 10 years ago, guys.This is ancient history until I bring it back out in my memoir.
37:14I think dating someone at work, there are some success stories.You know, just don't be a disaster story.Yeah.If you were going to be dating someone at work, go in with clear boundaries, know how you want to show up.And like, honestly, because I'm so scarred, if I were to do it again, I'd have like a contingency plan.Like what?Like what time are you going to work?What time can I go to work?
37:39So I don't bump into you.I'm just nervous like that.Yeah.It's just not a good feeling.It depends on your personality as a person.And it also depends on your coworkers.Yeah.Do they know?
37:54Are they supportive?Are they gossiping?Yeah.And it depends on also like the culture of your company.So something.Approach with caution.Yeah.Okay.
38:06So then finally, our last question, now that we're kind of thinking about our exes, if your exes formed a group chat, what would it be called?What's yours?What's yours?Billionaires Club.Your exes are all billionaires?No.Maybe cumulatively, something like that.Well, actually, some of them are.
38:31One of them is.And the one thing they have.have in common.Is you?What do they say about causation versus?I'm just kidding.Something that's interesting to me about my exes because I'm actually not friends withmy exes.
38:47There's some of them I could be friends with.Like they ended like amicably or like we could be friends.But I just don't really think there's a need to be friends.And things are weird, especially if you have a history with someone and then you're likein a new relationship.Like I just think it's a little bit odd.Can it be done?Sure.
39:03Is it for me?Have I figured it out? No. But it's always interesting to me, especially in the last five years as I'vetaken like my content thing, my content thing, my content career way more seriously. My exes for sure.They see me on their for you page. They see me on LinkedIn. They see me. I'm popping up wherever they,like wherever they are. She's on the digital billboard guys. Yes, I am. And is that good for them?Likely not. Does it happen anyways? Of course.I think it's funny because I've had a couple of Xs text me, not recently, but like in the past.Even as like I was first starting my content thing and it was much smaller than what it is now.
39:45And they're like, congratulations.I'm so proud of you.Uh-huh.I'm like, I didn't like that framing.Oh, why can't they be proud of you?Because they had nothing to do with this.Yeah.There's nothing to be proud of.
39:58But you could still be proud of like, you know.I don't know.It just kind of rubbed me the wrong way where they were like.like I like now see you on all the platforms.I'm so proud of you.It just.I'm like you did not treat me as well as you could have in a relationship.I still feel salty about it.
40:16Am I glad that I haunt your for you page?Of course.But like you're proud of me.It kind of feels like you're like you're not in the narrative.You're like not even.You're not part of the narrative.You don't get to be proud.Exactly.
40:29That's kind of how I feel.It reminds me.In a hypothetical situation, if like a father abandoned their kids and then wanted to show upto graduation and be like, I'm so proud of you.It's like you did not contribute to this success.So you have nothing to be proud of in a hypothetical situation.But that's kind of how it felt to me with my exes where they're like, you know,like I see you on this, this, this platform and like see all your success.
40:59And my response is that I'm here.here not because of you, but despite you, is my response. I'm like, you could have been on thisjourney with me, but like, you weren't there. And you weren't man enough for me. Clearly, I'mlike not even talking about like one. Tony Braxton. I'm not talking about one person in particular.Talking about like the men in my 20s who just like some of them were just not very nice. And thennow we're trying to be nice because they see me everywhere. Well, get ready.for a lot more of that, to be honest.Yeah.
41:37To be candid.So what would the group chat be called?Fans.Oh my gosh.Wait, was that good?Kind of good.It was kind of good.I kind of ate.
41:46Kind of ate with that one.Kind of good.Cherie's fans.And then there's the ex-boyfriends who just leave me alone and I never see again and that'sfine.Yeah.That's how I prefer it, honestly.Like, I don't need anyone to show up from the woodwork.
42:04Yeah.I have one who has never had any social media.media presence, I think because he's in the FBI.Really?Yeah.You've never told me about this X in the FBI.Oh, you know him.Who is it?
42:20B.Oh.He's in the FBI?Yeah.The heck?Okay.He's listening right now.Thank you guys so much for tuning in to this first AMA of,
42:37our series where we talk about love, money, power, and love. We hope you guys enjoyed thesequestions. And of course, if you have any more questions about money, power, or love,leave them in the comments below. And if you like this new format or you've been listening to usso far, please like, comment, and subscribe so that you can be notified when the next AMA comesout. Thanks so much, guys. Bye.
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