Tiger Sisters - Networking 101 in 26 minutes from Harvard & Stanford MBAs

Starting point is 00:00:00 Have you ever walked into a room and been completely drawn to someone's energy? They felt almost magnetic? Yes. This is Networking 101 Part 2. Networking is such an icky word, but it doesn't have to be icky, doesn't have to feel that way. It is so important for work, for conferences at school, and honestly, just like meeting people every single day. I'm Sheree. I'm Jean. And we're the Tiger Sisters.

Starting point is 00:00:27 And the first thing we'll start on is networking. right after this break. Hey guys, quick break to let you know that we now have merch on SistersMacha.com. We have sweatshirts and t-shirts that we designed yourselves. Go check it out. And please rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. These ratings are so important for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters Podcast. Thank you for your support. Welcome back. In this episode, we're going to talk about all things networking, pretty much everything that you need to know to feel comfortable with it. And we're also going have some exercises that you can do and stick to the end because we're going to have a lot of

Starting point is 00:01:12 takeaways for you. So the first thing we're going to talk about is the mindset for going into a networking event. I guess this sounds kind of basic, but you don't have to go to a networking event alone. So it's pretty scary to like go to any event by yourself. Like if you're going to a party or a hang out, like it's always so much easier like for me to bring a buddy or someone that I know I can rely on because if you're going to a networking event, you're having a conversation with someone, maybe it kind of fizzles out. You have like a to go person to go back to be like, okay, let's regroup. Or if you're with a person, you can kind of like strategize like, oh, we're going to go talk to

Starting point is 00:01:48 other people for like 20 minutes. Let's meet up after that again. And then we can like debrief and whatever. But it's just so much easier when you have a buddy to go with you. You don't have to go to it alone. Whenever I find like a conference or a networking event or something like that, I'm always sending it to the relevant friends who would find the event. helpful as well. I think another way you can go about it is if you do have to end up going alone,

Starting point is 00:02:11 you can sort of make it your goal to make a conference buddy friend, a conference friend buddy, one of those. And you basically, especially if you go to the same types of conferences that are in your industry over and over, you will end up seeing a lot of the same people. So you can have your goal be to find someone that you really vibe with. And then once you sort of exchange information and exchange numbers you'd be like hey let's do this again like let's go to other conferences together in the future and if they came alone they're probably really relieved to find someone else to be their conference buddy too conferences or like networking events or even like a work social event for the most part everyone there is going because they want to have a positive social experience if nothing else like this is probably

Starting point is 00:02:57 one of the safest places to like go up to someone and introduce yourself and be like hi my name is shiree like is this your first event that you've been to? Like, for example, like, if it's a conference, like, oh, is this your first time at VidCon? For example, like, that's like a really common opening line because then people can be like, oh, yes, it's my first time. Or like, no, I've, you know, been here three or four times. Like, that's an easy way to start. It's like probably the safest landing ground.

Starting point is 00:03:22 Like, it's not like walking into a cafeteria in middle school and being like, where do I sit? Or like, this is super scary. It might feel that way. Sometimes it feels that way. It feels that way. But, like, I guarantee you people are more. open at these events to talking to new or random or, you know, people they don't know. Yeah. And I think part of it is also just using your eyes and your judgment and sort of

Starting point is 00:03:45 reading other people's body language, right? Sometimes you can tell if two people are in a really intense conversation that are like straight up, you know, A and B, like see yourself out of there. Like don't, don't butt in. But if people are in like a bigger circle and like they seem kind of open or someone is just standing by themselves, then you can go up to them. I think that's a really great point. Like, you can kind of, thank you. You have to, like, read the room because oftentimes if in networking events, there's people standing in like a larger circle and, you know, it's kind of people are going

Starting point is 00:04:16 around and like talking. Like, it's very easy to like kind of like be like, see yourself into there. But like Jean said, if people are like having like a one-on-one, like that is not a safe zone to be like, hi. My name's Sheree. Like I would not recommend that. I just cringed, right? Another thing is a lot of times they have like a bar area or drinks area or like a food area.

Starting point is 00:04:37 That's also a generally safe place to like go up there and someone else is getting food on their own. You can be like, oh, hey, like that's like a safe place to sort of intercept someone if you're just looking to break the ice for yourself and be like, let me kick it off by talking to some. Yes. And Gene, you had a really good point about mindset. Yeah. So I would say that a lot of your sort of quote quote success of the event. or the conference or whatever is much more dependent on yourself and kind of your internal mindset and your mood going into the conference.

Starting point is 00:05:08 Your energy, your vibe. Your vibe. So there have been times when I have been scheduled to go to an event and I was just so not in the right mindset. And you guys know what I mean. It's like when you're like internally, it's like a pit of despair for whatever reason. Like maybe you had a really hard day at work or, you know. Maybe your ex reached out. she got problems um but yeah maybe you have some sort of like internal problem and you just really

Starting point is 00:05:38 cannot like hype yourself up to go to the conference first of all i would say try to hype yourself up right like try to see try to pep up and try to be like okay yeah i'm gonna do it like sometimes you can sort of change your mindset and force yourself to go to something but also sometimes you just can't yeah and it's totally fine to just call it yeah i've done that before too i think it goes both ways i think it's really important know yourself to give yourself grace for the times that you like really cannot go and know that there will be future events that you can go to you know it's just like a it's not like a common thing that like you're you know skipping out on things I think the other side of that I have like a small anecdote is like one of my really good friends

Starting point is 00:06:17 went to a conference by herself which was really scary it took like everything in her body she tried to invite you right she did she's such a sweetheart well she invited she tried to invite everyone she could go that could go but like it was in the middle of the weekend like it was pretty like Last minute. We had to fly, all that stuff. So it wasn't really something that I could fit into my schedule. She tried to bring a buddy. She tried to bring multiple buddies. That didn't work out. And then she's just like, oh, do I go to this conference? Like, I'm by myself. Like, this is so nervous, nerve-wracking. Because she's such an open person and she, like, kind of brought her best self to the conference. There's a lot of serendipity that happens in networking events. You never know who you're going to meet. And so she ended up being in the Uber with one of the conference organizers. They were leaving an event together. and they shared an Uber together. And then this conference organizer was talking to her. And now she's, like, going to another conference for free. Just like many more doors opened.

Starting point is 00:07:09 And now they're married. That's not true. No, but it does sound like a me-kew. Rom-com scene, right? Yes. No, they're not. It's a business com. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:22 A business rom-com. Business rom-com. No, they're not married. But, like, once you go to one of these events, many more doors may open. So I think, like, knowing that like there's a serendipity to it. Yes. Okay, this is slightly off topic, but you just reminded me.

Starting point is 00:07:37 Sort of a tactical tip is that a lot of times conferences are very expensive. Like the tickets are thousands of dollars and you may not want to pony up, you know, $3,000 for the ticket. Yeah. One thing that one of my good friends does that she told me is that for these big conferences, she just goes and posts up in the lobby of whatever the main conference hotel is. and she just takes meetings all day long. She just arranges meetings with people that she knows are going to be at the conference.

Starting point is 00:08:07 And she doesn't even go into the conference or buy a ticket. She just sits there. And then also there's a lot of serendipity to that too, which I remember you have a story around. Yes, I do. So I went to VidCon over the summer. I went last year and I had a conference ticket, went to the talks and everything. The most recent one, I didn't have a conference ticket. But I sat in the lobby of the Hilton after an event that I had.

Starting point is 00:08:27 Like, I had like a lunch. And I was just like sitting in the Hilton, like doing something. work. And then I start talking to this man who's like four feet away from me. And then we start chatting it up. And he's now a connection on LinkedIn and has like introduced me to someone that he knows in the media space that was like a really helpful introduction. So it was like just so random. But the serendipity happens. Yeah. Like you said, you have to have the right mindset. Like the openness. You know, I wasn't just like on my laptop with my headphones and not looking at anyone. You know, I was kind of just like doing some work. Looking around. Who's there? It's like.

Starting point is 00:09:00 Spin on a coffee. Spin on some matcha. Exactly. So you have to be open to having those conversations. And like, let's be honest, not every conversation is going to be like the best conversation of your life at a networking event. The more that you have, the more chances that it will be a great one. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:19 So there's a lot of ways to go about it. It kind of depends on how not how you show up. Yeah, how you show up and depends on how not aggressive, but like proactive. proactive you want to be yeah so like my friend who does this thing where she goes to sit in the in the lobby she is a very proactive person and she's also the type of person who can talk to and relate to anybody so it's very easy for her i feel like i could do that too you just more need to like get over your fear of embarrassment yeah being cringe fear of being rejected because maybe someone the person i talked to in the lobby of the hilton could very easily been like oh i'm not like really open to chatting right now yeah it's like okay a lot of times there are events all around the conference like after parties or lunches luncheons and stuff like that because the conference is more of like the anchor so you had one of these events so you went there for that event and then then you were in the space then you were like basically plugged in and then also when you go to these events things just kind of happen like someone will be like oh I'm going to this after

Starting point is 00:10:22 where are you goes do you want to come right yes especially if you're like open to it you know like if you're just talking to a bunch of people you can ask them like hey what are you up to like later you have to be open to it and the last thing I'll say is that like you can be like what's the worst that can happen that's like a very limiting mindset but then what's the best that can happen in these situations I'm going to give a counter example to what shrew was saying which is that a couple years ago I went to shop talk which is a major conference and it was all the way in I think it was London so I flew all the way to London was going with work through Snapchat and I wasn't just like such a state of non-openedness at the time. And you kind of know it when you're in it that I could

Starting point is 00:11:07 barely bring myself to like top 20 people. I basically, the conference was almost a total wash for me. Were you depressed? Well, I was really overworked at the time, I think. And it was like coming feeling it. Yeah, it was coming off of like a very intense week of work because we were doing all these onsites because I come from Germany, I think. So I was just not in the right mind. at all. I didn't really get anything career-wise out of the conference, but I think it's okay. I sort of learned a lesson from that, which is that you need to somehow be in the right mindset in order to have a good conference. A lot of people are like super extroverts and they love these conferences. Then I think that's like uncommon. But then I think most people are like pretty

Starting point is 00:11:55 nervous or like you need to like prepare themselves to enter in a space where you're talking to people 24-7 or surrounded by people 24-7 and I think that's more normal and because you were in that space like it like wasn't that fruitful for you yeah I think it's also a big part of it is why you're going to the conference right so when I went I was technically a vendor I was part of snapchat like I had very specific work goals and things that I had to achieve and like actually do at the conference. So then outside of that, I wasn't really able to have any, like, put any energy into actually networking outside of all of the work things that I had to do. It's like so different going to a conference if you're going for work or for yourself. For work, like,

Starting point is 00:12:40 you're still on the clock. Like, you're still working. And you kind of have to be always on the way that you are in a professional setting. So that's, that's also really tough. I remember I went to one in Shanghai. This was ages ago. But I, I had to give a speech at the conference. And I was speaking to like a whole, like a big room of people. And the speech was actually in Chinese. I mentioned this before. So I had to prep a ton for it.

Starting point is 00:13:04 And I was actually super nervous about it. So for that conference, I kind of put like all of my energy into being, into like pulling off this speech. And so then again, I wasn't really, you know, there's no room for you to enjoy yourself. Yeah. Okay. One last tactical tip on conferences and an exercise that you. can do going forward is that if you are able to find a list of the attendees for the conference,

Starting point is 00:13:29 sometimes they send it out ahead of time, depending on the size of the conference. Sometimes you can try to email the conference organizers and ask for the list. One thing you can do is actually look at the whole list and see if there are any specific people that you want to reach out to and connect with at the conference. And then you can actually even reach out to them ahead of time and be like, hey, I saw you're going to this conference. I'm also going to this conference. I would love to find some time to connect while we're both in Miami. Even if you don't know who's going to the conference, there's all these like partyful, like event,

Starting point is 00:14:00 event bright events that like when you're signing up to go to like a brunch around the conference or, you know, an after party around the conference, you can see who's attending. And it only takes like three seconds to look someone up to see like, oh, they're interesting or their career or something that like we could talk about or there's a business deal to be made here or whatever.

Starting point is 00:14:16 So like I think it's just taking that extra step of effort to really make your conference worthwhile. It's like a little bit of work, yes, but then it's only going to make your experience richer. And if you're not able to find people who are actually going to the conference, usually if you're going to the conference, there are speakers. Definitely. That's also another list of people you can research so that if you go to someone's talk, you can go up to them after the talk and chat with them. Yeah. So in summary, one, be prepared if you can.

Starting point is 00:14:46 Go into the conference prepared. And then two, when you actually go to the conference, kind of just go into it with a more like fun. and open attitude. Yeah, I think putting more pressure on yourself to be like, I need to achieve these things, like take the fun out of it, but you guys can try it and let us know how it goes. And coming up next, navigating high-powered conversations. Hey, everyone, quick break to share something special,

Starting point is 00:15:09 Sisters Macha. We've launched limited batches of ceremonial grade, single estate, single cultivar, Macha, straight from the family farm Shree worked on in Japan. It's pure, authentic, and crafted with intention. Head to SistersMacha.com to grab yours before it sells out. make macha your daily ritual for lasting energy and focus. Okay, so this section we're going to be talking about how you can have the best possible conversation with your boss or other people that are higher up in the chain of command.

Starting point is 00:15:35 Yeah, so this can be your boss, this can be your VP, MD, like any executive that you might be talking to. Like, let's be honest, it's like pretty nervous if you care about your career and you care about what you're doing. Like you want to come off as your best self and show all the great work that you're doing, but it's definitely a balance because when you're talking to people who are senior than you, more senior than you, and you might not have like a close relationship yet, you still want to be offering value. Something that I learned in my communications class at Stanford Business School is that

Starting point is 00:16:07 when you're talking to a person who's more senior than you, ostensibly like more senior than your just your direct boss, so maybe it's like a VP or something, you want to think about it like it's Twitter, not Tolstoy. That's like a general framework you should remember, but like for more written communications, like keeping it very high level and always thinking like what is the value or the new information that I can bring to this person so that they can rock what I'm saying in the most limited amount of space and or time as possible. Because when you're talking to people who are more senior than you, like I think it's the thing that's on your mind is like how do I make a good impression but also not waste their time. You also cannot go into these conversations super

Starting point is 00:16:48 rigid. Like you can't be trying, you can't be like a machine where you're like if a then B then C then D where you're like if they say this then I'll say this like you can try to think it through ahead of time. But you also need to be you need to be flexible and you need to be able to react to what they're saying if they throw you something that's like totally out of left field. Yeah. Well I think that also is just like one layer deeper of preparedness because if you know your material well enough like you won't be so rigid that you need to stay on like a script or a talking point or anything like that. Yeah. Like it should still feel like a conversation. And honestly like to the best that you can be yourself, you should be yourself because I think so much of talking to executives and people who are

Starting point is 00:17:31 more senior than you, like they want to work with a person and not a robot. Yeah. They're like definitely able to sniff out bullshit and like see who is not being authentic or feel that. Yeah. Yeah. Like be cool, guys. Be chilled. Just be chill. Be funny. I think the most fruitful relationship that I had was with my VP at LinkedIn, who I had worked with for many years. But we had a very trusting relationship where then we would be on a texting basis, which may or may not be healthy, depending on the company that you work for, boundaries or no boundaries. We trusted each other and we liked each other. And we had a more cohesive working relationship after that because we were able to vibe. And I was like, I felt like I can completely be myself. So that is really, really helpful because then what you kind of afford each other

Starting point is 00:18:23 is the benefit of the doubt. Right. So like if let's say her VP one day was having a really bad day and kind of snapped at her, she wouldn't like fall apart and have like a breakdown for anything because she'd be like, oh, well, I know him. Like he didn't really mean that or like he's just having a hard day. And then vice versa, like if she actually, you know, wasn't prepared one day or said something that was just totally bad, he would be like, oh, well, I know Shari. Like, I trust her. I trust her. But she's having an off day. Or maybe she got bad information from someone. Yeah. Wow, that's true. I never really thought about it. Oh, my God. It is the most important thing because I've also been on the opposite side of that. We did not have that trust. And it is the worst feeling in the

Starting point is 00:19:08 world. Really? Oh, yeah. Because you're not only putting a lot of energy into doing the best work you can, but then you have to do all of this kind of like additional mental gymnastics about being like, oh, well, I don't want this person to like take this the wrong way. So I have to say it this way to make sure that they don't think I'm saying this. And then like, I have to make sure I, you know, don't bring in this element because then they're going to think this. Yeah, you're just like overthinking it. It's basically like 10 times the amount of work that you actually have to do versus. is having a good relationship where you trust each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt is like a weight where it's like zero point multiply everything by zero point five less work

Starting point is 00:19:51 you're over complicating it I think my I feel like my analogy is good well my working with my managers I've had a couple of managers and it's just so funny because I bring my whole self for better for worse I just throw everything I have into my work and my boss is so annoying and my boss is so And my bosses know that. So they know that like, oh, she's crying because she cares, you know. And I'm not saying that's healthy. But like they know that I'm such a tryhard and that I like care so much that like I get the benefit of the doubt in that way. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I think also you are just really likable. And you're very good at relating to different types of people. So I think that is one of your superpowers that I see in you. And I've also seen in some of my other friends. So just be likable, guys. Yeah. Be cool. No, actually, no, it's not, I was being facetious.

Starting point is 00:20:44 It's more so be yourself. Yeah. And like once you can be yourself, even if you're not cool, there's a certain amount of like. Respect. Respect. And people feel close to you if you just show your true self. I'm not saying like reveal all of your inner demons and everything at work, but just be yourself. if you feel like you're in an environment that you're safe to do so.

Starting point is 00:21:09 So the practical tip or exercise that you can implement right after this video is that if you're talking to someone who's more senior than you, you want to go and prepared. You should write out just to practice what is the 15 minute conversation I can have with them on this? What is the five minute conversation I can have with them on this? And what is the two minute conversation that I can have with them on this? And this is an exercise so that you're able to distill, the most important parts are the takeaways so that your VP is able to grok what you're saying in the most succinct way. If they have any follow-up questions and they want the 15-minute version,

Starting point is 00:21:48 they will for sure ask. Or you can follow up and send them in an email. You'd be like, actually I have a lot more details on this. I'm going to send to you in an email and you can read it on your own time. But like, here's the two-minute overview. And you can apply this to something that's like verbally spoken, you know, the 15-minute version. And you know, the 15-minute version. version or something that's like written in an email that has like way more like sub bullets and some details but like obviously think about it all the way to the two minute version or less. I like that because sometimes you only have time to grab someone for a couple minutes in between meetings and then you just have to give them the information for them to make a decision very

Starting point is 00:22:26 quickly. And if they want more details, they will for sure follow up. Yeah. That's cool. Where'd you get that? Stanford Business School. Whoa. Okay.

Starting point is 00:22:36 And that's our cue to say, check out everything I learned in business school in 30 minutes. Hey, check out our episode where we talk about all the takeaways that you need to know from our MBA programs. And that's show biz, baby. Okay, next up is how to gracefully exit a conversation. So in this episode, we talked about how to start a conversation, how to keep it tight in a conversation. and now we're going to talk about how do you leave a conversation? And this can be at a conference or a work event or honestly if you're just like hanging out with a group of people and you're like, oh God, I feel stuck. How do you gracefully exit so that you're not hurting anyone's feelings and you're able to like, you know, see yourself out. Here are two suggestions of how to bow out of a conversation. The first one is if you have a buddy. So this is why it's so good to bring someone with you to a social event, especially an ally, someone who you can like kiki with and like, you know, not just. have superficial conversations with, but like you can talk to your friend who's at this event with you and be like, hey, can you come and get me in like 15, 20 minutes? And you can like pull me

Starting point is 00:23:44 out of the conversations. That's like one way. You can really take the pressure off of yourself because then you're kind of relying on someone else. And obviously there's pros and cons to that. Because like, what if your friend forgets? What if your friend goes to the bathroom? You're stuck in the conversation. But if you like, if you and I are at a conference, be like, hey, Jean, can you come get me in 20 minutes? Because I don't know what the conversation that I'm in is. And I don't want it to go in. me longer than that. Like, please come get me. And if, like, I'm in a really good conversation, I'll tell you to, like, kind of go away so that I could continue this. But, like, having a buddy there is really helpful so that they can pull you away. You know how, like, sometimes when you're, like,

Starting point is 00:24:16 hanging out with your friends and you're like, give them the signal and like, please get me out of this. This is kind of like that, but in a more professional setting. And the second way to gracefully exit is the onus is on you. You have to speak up and you have to say something. And I know it's hard. I've been in that situation where someone is kind of going on and on, but you've got to go. So one thing you can do is politely pivot the conversation away and can be like, hey, John, actually, I have to go in a little bit and I want to say goodbye to Amy before I head out. It was so nice to meet you. Should we connect on LinkedIn to continue this conversation later on? But that's one way to just kind of see yourself out.

Starting point is 00:24:53 Like, you could also thank the other person and say, thanks so much for chatting. But I really do have to go and I want to see someone else before I head out. Yeah, I guess you could also just be like, oh, I'm going to go get some water now. I don't know if I would suggest that because then, oh, they might come with you. Yeah. Or they're like, okay, I'll see you back here afterwards. No, well, you wouldn't just be like, I'm going to get some water and then like wander away. You could be like, oh, I'm going to get a refill.

Starting point is 00:25:21 But it was so great to talk to you. Like, let's exchange information so we can continue the conversation later. Yes. You have to say more than that because they might expect. you to come back. I think you've just ghosted someone. I don't think, yeah, obviously. I have to go to the bathroom. No, don't use that one. That was a joke. But yeah, like, oh, I'm going to get a refill, but it was so great to see you. Like, you kind of, honestly, at these networking events and conferences, you only have to give, like, the thinnest gossamer of an excuse. And then you can,

Starting point is 00:25:53 like, you just need something to, like, transition the conversational way or to a close. Yes. Okay. Let me close this conversation now. Why do you need to get some water? Water. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode. Please remember to like, comment, and subscribe. And if you've enjoyed this episode, we'd so appreciate it if you could share it with a friend who would also find it helpful. Awesome.

Starting point is 00:26:19 We'll see you next time. Bye.

Tiger Sisters - Networking 101 in 26 minutes from Harvard & Stanford MBAs

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