Tiger Sisters - Oldest vs. Youngest (how childhood still shapes us today)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm Gene. And I'm Sheree. And we're the Tiger Sisters. Hey guys, welcome back. This is part two of our video where we talk about the first-gen experience. In our previous episode, Gene and I really dove into our background, kind of how we grew up and how that's impacted, how we see the world. And if you're a first-generation American or if you're the child of immigrants, hopefully you'll be able to resonate with this episode. With our childhood traumas, you mean? Definitely. And some of the things that we talk about. And even if you're not, I think this will give you a glimpse or like a lens into some of the, you know, intersectional or, you know, bi-cultural straddling, which we talked about last episode, that some of us first-gen experiences.

Starting point is 00:00:48 Yeah, you probably know a lot of first-gen people. Cool. Let's dive in. Before we get started, please remember to like, comment, and subscribe. And if you like this episode, we would see. so appreciated if you could share it with a friend. So we're going to start with bringing back a segment that a lot of people loved. It's book club. Book club. Here, we have two new books to talk about and to recommend. So, Cherie, why don't you kick us off on what is a book that you've

Starting point is 00:01:28 been reading and loving? Yes. So technically, I haven't been reading this book. I've been listening to it on audiobook, on Spotify. I love doing it whenever I'm in the car. I can turn it on, I can drive somewhere and make progress on this book. points. No, plus aura points because we're reading technically and we're multitasking. So the book So when you listen to this podcast, you're reading. Yeah. So the book that I'm reading right now is Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, the late Anthony Bourdain. It's an iconic book. It's been out for, I think, almost 20 years now, but really it feels like you're in the moment with him. So for those of you who don't know, Anthony Bourdain is a world-renowned chef. He passed away in 2016, I believe,

Starting point is 00:02:16 but he talks about his life and his career, especially as he started up as like a chef in New York City and honestly all around the United States. And it just follows his adventure in the 90s. And basically, what is it like to be a chef in the 90s? What does it mean? And he like, you know, warning this book has a lot of cursing. It's quite vulgar and exciting in that way. What did you say? I said, oh. And it's quite vulgar and definitely very colorful.

Starting point is 00:02:50 So there's your warning there, but I think it's also just like a really beautiful piece that talks about food, the culinary world, and also like how food can bring people together and really shape things outside of the industry as well. Yeah, can I chime in? Yeah, sure. Okay, so I have also been like reading parts of this book because Sherey was, playing it in the car in the car while we were doing like a road trip and I almost think this is like one of those books that is better listened to oh yeah because he reads it yes he reads it he has such a he has such a beautiful distinctive voice I love his voice and the way that he reads it is at an

Starting point is 00:03:27 incredible pace like you feel like when you're listening to it you're like you feel like you're jogging like your body feels like you're like rushing along with him you feel the adrenaline like You feel. Because the book is very fast-paced in it of itself. And then he's reading it the way that he was writing it or it was intended to be like listened to. It's almost like stream of consciousness. I feel like the way that he writes. It is.

Starting point is 00:03:50 It is very beautiful writing and it's a memoir. And I love biographies. I love memoirs. And you just hear about his life and, you know, the trials and tribulations and what happens in kitchens. Yeah. And if you're even like a little bit of a foodie, I think you will love this book. Yeah. And also just like,

Starting point is 00:04:07 His voice is so strong. I don't mean his listened voice. I mean his writing voice is so distinctive. And also he's an excellent writer. Like very, I don't know if he's like classically excellent, but like the way that he writes and the way that you experience the book is so visceral. Like you feel like you're in the kitchen. It's an experience.

Starting point is 00:04:26 Yeah. The steam is like rising up and like hitting you in the face. And like you feel like you smell the like, oh. Yeah. It's good actually. Well, also the book is like super descriptive too. so like it feels like you're in the kitchen with him. Okay, and also he has an incredible vocabulary.

Starting point is 00:04:43 Yeah? He, yes. Like, I feel like this book somehow has like, it has like four times, four X the, the, like, vocabulary of like a typical book like we would read from day to day. Yeah. It's artfully, it's masterfully done. Yeah. Great recommendation.

Starting point is 00:05:00 Yeah. Thanks for letting me chime in. Totally. Because you read the book as well. It's also funny because Gene, would be like in my car and she would come in at like different points in the book I think like come in and out and like it's almost as if like you didn't really miss a beat or you didn't mind that like you kind of jumped in and out of this book because like you don't really need to know or hear about it like

Starting point is 00:05:22 sequentially in that way you don't because it's just like he just keeps like telling his life story it just like keeps going it's like going and going yeah so kitchen confidential would recommend all right jean what is your book recommendation for book club okay my book recommendation recommendation is Big Fan by Alexander Romanov. It's so good. Okay, so this is actually a book, it's the inaugural publication of this company called 831 Stories. So I don't know, some of you might know that I am a investor and I'm also an advisor to startup. So 831 Stories is a modern romantic fiction startup started by these two women who are, they're like, they're brilliant. They actually they have their own podcasts too.

Starting point is 00:06:07 They've had a very long-running podcast. They're brilliant. They're so smart. And it is really reflected in this book. So it's a romance novel. It's pretty smutty. But I'll just read the tagline. It goes, a political strategist, her former boy band crush, and what happens when teenage

Starting point is 00:06:28 yearnings take a very adult and very sexy turn? It's just like a really, it's like a fun book to read. It has a great backstory because it's about this political strategist. So you have a lot of that like DC, Washington, like, intrigue that it's always fun to like learn about it. Like scandal? Sort of. Exactly. It's like scandal.

Starting point is 00:06:47 So it's like fun to like learn about a world you're not in. And I feel like it's actually very well research, very accurate. And it's also, it's a little bit of like, it's a little bit of like kind of like, you know, fantasy. Like it takes you outside of your own world. but it's not so far-fetched. And also the main character is a little bit older. So she's like in her late 30s, I think. So for me, for me, I was like, oh, like, this could happen to me if I were a political strategist.

Starting point is 00:07:22 But then also it's just, it's really smart the way it's written. Like. A smart, smutty book. Yes. There you go. Smart smuty book. I've actually never read smut before. Are you sure?

Starting point is 00:07:36 Yeah. Well, outside of Gossip Girl in like middle school. Yeah. Well, it's like totally having a renaissance. It really is. Like romanticie and do you know what that is? Romance fantasy. Yes, exactly.

Starting point is 00:07:50 Actually, my friend Nicole was telling me about this book that a lot of girls are, or the girls and guys are reading. It's about like fairies. Yes. Fairy smut. Yeah, that was like my book club like ripped through all those books. Really? That was like the book that my book club was like,

Starting point is 00:08:03 the series that my book club was most excited to talk about. Really? Everyone showed up. It was like people were getting riled up. Okay, well, I need to read it. I feel like to be part of the zeitgeist. Yes, you should. I've never read one of those books.

Starting point is 00:08:17 I think it'd be fun to do it in like also, you know, a setting where people want to talk about it too. Yeah. And so yeah, I would really recommend this book. It's just like fun. It's short. It's like sexy and smart. I kind of like sexy and smart.

Starting point is 00:08:32 That's like a really. Yeah. Good tagline. Yeah. And it's like the way that she like speaks and the way that the character is written, you're like, oh, I see like that could be me. Like, or she could be one of my friends. Right. Cool. I'm going to borrow that after you're done. I'm done. Okay. I will borrow it now. Hey guys, quick break to let you know that we now have merch on sisters matcha.com.

Starting point is 00:08:57 We have sweatshirts and t-shirts that we designed yourselves. Go check it out. And please rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple. Apple Podcasts. These ratings are so important for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters podcast. Thank you for your support. All right. Hope you guys like this edition of Book Club. Now, moving on to the main topic, which is the first gen experience, part two. The first gen experience, it's a pretty heavy topic. We really got into it last time, and there is like so much more to say here. And so we want to dedicate a whole other episode of the Tiger Sisters to really dig in here. And specifically, we're going to start off talking about, are you friends with your parents?

Starting point is 00:09:37 Should you be friends with your parents? And, like, where does that line cross? Does it ever cross? And, you know, as a first-gen, like, child of immigrants, like, what is the mindset on this? So, Gene, I know you have some thoughts on this. Yeah. I would say until I, like, started going to my friend's houses in, like, L.E. elementary, like, middle school, I didn't know you could be friends with your parents.

Starting point is 00:10:05 Yeah. And, like, it's actually, oh, my God, there's so much. I have, like, 50 million thoughts about it. Like, you know how the people, there's this credence of, like, the most important thing for a child growing up is not their immediate family necessarily, but the neighborhood that they live in and then all the other families that they're exposed to through their friends. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:24 That's, like, actually a really good example of it. Yeah. Because there are so many things that I learned from my friend group, my girlfriends and my friend group and like observing them and their families. Yeah. That I was like, oh, wow, like you're like, there is a different way to live. Especially if it's culturally different from your family at home. Oh, exactly. Yeah. And like there's a different way to like interact with your friends. I mean, there's a different way to interact with your parents. How the other half lives. Kind of. And I like saw them like making jokes with their parents and like making fun of their parents and calling their parents by

Starting point is 00:10:58 their first name. Yeah. Or just being like literally. even saying like shut up mom or something like that like we would yeah no no no you can't say that you can't say that that's yeah i mean that's definitely cultural i think yeah there's like a very clear difference of being like a child from the ages of like i don't know born until like 18 and having a relationship with your parent and then when you're an adult and you actually leave the house how does your relationship evolve then if it does because like in i think many parents eyes i'm not a parent and you're not a parent yet, but like we hear that like you'll always be their like kid and like seem like a kid to them. But I think it's really interesting when like 18 plus you

Starting point is 00:11:40 move out of the house and you start to gain knowledge and experiences that your parents, especially immigrant parents haven't had, like haven't had exposure to even. And then you become like the knowledge bearer in so many ways of like knowing things that they don't know in like professional, personal life, romance, like all those things they haven't experienced. And that becomes a very weird like turning point as well when you're like you see your parent in a different way. I would say for a lot of immigrant children or children of immigrants, that happens way earlier than 18. Oh, you think so?

Starting point is 00:12:13 Oh, I mean, for me, that's my experience. Way earlier than before I moved out because like for us, our parents are moving to the country for the first time. They're having a whole new experience. They have to relearn an entirely new way of life versus for the child. Yeah. It's like you get to have many more years of like. backstory of experiencing it and having the new culture be the new culture but the American

Starting point is 00:12:36 culture be second nature to you yeah it's your first culture yeah right so like there's just so many like norms and like cultural there's just so many cultural norms that as the first-gen child you're used to yeah there's this really funny TikTok that i saw a while ago but it's like it just came into my head. It's like when you're a child and like you're literally like, I don't know, like 15 trying to fill out the FAFSA, like the financial aid form for college. And you know, like I don't know, it was like you're 15 to like, I know, 17 years old like trying to fill it out or something when the parent is like supposed to fill out all that information. But like when you have more context and like you understand more stuff, like it forces you, I think,

Starting point is 00:13:23 in a lot of ways to grow up faster to have more of that responsibility. But, but. But like, yeah, it was a context, like, not even in an Asian context. It was like a different, like, culture completely. But I think a lot of people can, like, relate to that. I think another, like, really small way that people across all different cultures who are children of immigrants have experienced this is that, like, many times your parents have an accent. And so, like, when you're talking on the phone, the way that they're perceived or the level of customer service that they receive is markedly lower than someone who doesn't have an accent. It's horrible, yeah. Like I know like you and I grew up a lot like we oftentimes were the ones that had to like call in to do like customer service things.

Starting point is 00:14:04 Or like call AT&T because like we don't have we we have a very American accent. And so like completely wrong but like we are taking more seriously in our opinion. I could have a British accent. That's when it's really important. Really important. If there's something that's really important. This is urgent. It's critical.

Starting point is 00:14:24 It's critical. It's mission critical. Cool. I mean, but also tying it back, like, can you be friends with your parent and would you want to be friends with your kid? Because I recently interviewed a CEO of like a multi-billion dollar company. And I was kind of surprised to also just like, we talked about like family life career children. And he was also pretty adamant that like parent and child is a special relationship, but like they're not friends. And I was kind of surprised to hear that. I feel like people who are like, like, like younger than our parents would have a different view, but I do think it might be kind of cultural. I don't know. I think it depends on the child, honestly. It's going to depend on the personality of the child. You think so? Totally. Not the personality of the parent. No, no. I think the parent will need to adjust their approach depending on the child. Because like even for like,

Starting point is 00:15:18 obviously I'm not a parent, but I feel like I have been a parental figure for you at many points in our life. And, like, you have always been, like, extremely receptive to my feedback and to my direction and my guidance. Even when, like, it's something that you didn't want to do. Like, for example, I swear to God, if you say study computer science as the example. Okay, that's an example. But I just, I mean, like, if you were not generally receptive to my feedbacks, then, like,

Starting point is 00:15:50 I don't know. I would have to, like, tailor my approach. Like, then we would have had a different. sort of relationship. Yeah. I will say I do think there are some downsides to being friends with your parents. Because I think that in some ways there is less of that parent-child relationship that you talked about.

Starting point is 00:16:08 And so a lot of times as the child, like you don't feel like you have to take into account what your parents says. Like you have a lot more autonomy, which can be good, but then also can be bad depending on your age. And then I think also depending on the level of judgment. of the child, right? So I do think that like there are people I know who were much friendlier with their parents and then they ended up making, I think, I don't know, were like suboptimal choices for themselves because they were allowed to just do whatever they wanted to do and they were

Starting point is 00:16:45 children, you know? Well, I do think there's a way, like I, yeah, I think that's like a very, like we're talking about the extremes, you know, in like both examples. Like I wonder what like a more moderate relationship might look like. Where like you are that you are the, you straddle. Like you are the parent in the times that it really matters and you are the friend also in times that it really matters. Because I do think there is a time and place for both. Like when you're the parent and you're like, yeah, I think I do know better because I've lived on this earth for like 20, 30 more years than you. And so I can kind of see things clearly.

Starting point is 00:17:21 but then as a friend, like sometimes you need a friend and not a parent, and sometimes you need a parent and not a friend. Yeah. So I don't, since I am not a parent yet, I don't know quite where that is, but I think as a child I would appreciate both. But I think it's hard to do both. Well, it's like having that level of like you can have some dialogue about it and not being afraid as a child to like still voice your opinion, ask questions, like have a conversation about it as opposed to feeling like. everything your parent says is like an edict. Yeah, totally. Or like I think, I mean, honestly, you kind of straddle both for me in a lot of ways.

Starting point is 00:18:02 Like you are a parent-like, less parent-like, but like, but you do kind of like go on that border. But I'm like, I can tell you anything and everything and I feel so comfortable doing so. And like that's the friend. But I also know that you come in with the parent lens because like you want the best for me. Not that a friend wouldn't, but like you also come in with that like very strong. judgment as well in a good way. You know what I mean? I am very judgment. That's not what I meant.

Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah, you mean I have like good judgment because I have a little more life experience. Yeah, yeah. But I also know what you're saying isn't an edict. Um, yeah, even if it is a really strong opinion, like I do feel autonomy in my life to like make my own decisions. Um, but also that's all. We're adults. Like if it were 10 years ago, it might not feel. that way, but now, like, we're adults. Yeah. Make me a sandwich. Bitch.

Starting point is 00:18:59 Make me a sandwich. Yeah, I think, like, in conclusion, you still don't always get me water when I ask for it. Yeah, I do 98% of the time. Just kidding. That's my love language. Yeah. You get me a water if I ask for it.

Starting point is 00:19:14 It started out when we were kids, and she's like, get me a glass of orange juice. Really? Literally, you're obsessed with orange juice. What? Yeah, that was your drink of choice. What? We don't even have orange juice.

Starting point is 00:19:28 We never drink orange juice anywhere. Now I'm craving orange juice. Well, we don't anymore, but we were a Tropicana family growing up because we never had any soda in our house. That's true. Or sugary drinks, except for orange juice. Like, we never had, like, juice, like, any other, like, fruit punch or, like, apple juice or anything. It was just orange juice. I guess I do freaking love orange juice.

Starting point is 00:19:48 I love fresh-squeezed orange juice. You love orange juice with a pulp. Oh, my gosh. God, I love it. I would always request no pulp, but when our family would get pulp. Not even some pulp, but it would be like, heavy pulp. Heavy pulp. Heavy, most pulp. Yeah, from tropicana. That was driving insane. If you know it's good for you, drink the pulp. Fiber. Insane. Just to close out this section, I would like to be friends with my kid in the future, obviously trying to straddle the parenting as well. But we'll see how that goes. Hey, everyone, quick break to share something special,

Starting point is 00:20:20 Sisters Macha. We've launched limited batches of ceremonial grade, single estate, single cultivar macha, straight from the family farm Shari worked on in Japan. It's pure, authentic, and crafted with intention. Head to sisters matcha.com to grab yours before it sells out. Make matcha your daily ritual for lasting energy and focus. Okay, the next topic that we're going to talk about is eldest daughter syndrome. So I will kick it off with a viral tweet on X that says are you happy or are you the oldest sibling and also a girl? Mike drop. Yikes.

Starting point is 00:20:58 The hits, the hits for me. You good, bro? Barely, just barely. Just barely holding on. Barely holding on after that tweet. But you guys, you might have seen, I don't know if you're on this side of TikTok, but earlier, but this year there was a TikTok that popped off that was all about this, I think she's a therapist or like a mental health advocate who made a TikTok about eldest

Starting point is 00:21:24 daughter syndrome, which is not an actual medical syndrome. She was just coining it. But basically it's Katie Morton, who's a marriage and family therapist. This TikTok has totally taken off and it is like taken over the cultural zeitgeist and there are articles, so many articles about it. There's like a Times article, there's the Guardian article. Even Vogue wrote an article recently about it. So you know they're even like one step behind the time. Like you know the joke of like when something's in the New York Times. It's like over the hill. Oh, I had no idea. It's like jump the shark. Wow. It's kind of like a stupid like people who like think their highbrow type of joke. Oh, I see. If it's in the Times, it's already too late. Yeah. If it's in my Forbes article,

Starting point is 00:22:06 you know it's already too late. No, it's not. If it's in your Forbes article, you're like on the cutting edge of all this stuff. I kind of am in the cutting edge. But I don't know. know it takes me a long time to write my articles you you scooped the cucumber i did i did like yes yes my cucumber article if you guys don't know what we're talking about she got the scoop go to my forbes page and read my articles because i wrote one on cucumbers yeah shrie is a Forbes contributor isn't that crazy i'm a writer for forest literally she's a journalist i'm a journalist in many ways you're a published journalist you're a Forbes journalist yeah it's kind of insane what the heck yeah what the hell and my beat is the creator economy she has a beat i have a beat guys kind of

Starting point is 00:22:44 I have purview. She has purview. Anyway, so here, I'll quote from this Vogue article, but it says the term describes an all too common situation in which the eldest daughter in a family is tasked without size and often developmentally inappropriate responsibilities as a result of her position. Not the developmentally irresponsible. Wait, and developmentally. See, she can't even say it. Developmental responsibilities? Wait, what was that?

Starting point is 00:23:13 Developmentally inappropriate responsibilities. Not the developmentally inappropriate responsibilities. As a result of her position in the family's birth order, people dealing with the effects of elder daughter syndrome might find themselves struggling to uphold boundaries, devoting too much of their energy to people pleasing, or finding it hard to shake a type A or overachiever mentality in their day-to-day lives. Red me to fill. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:40 Red me to fill. So I'm not an eldest daughter. You are an eldest daughter. But from what I understand about this, is that just being, like, birth order, like, supposedly means something. Like, I think it does. And being, like, the oldest child, like, you have to forge a path, like, for your younger siblings in many ways.

Starting point is 00:23:59 And then I think just, like, adding a layer on top of that, being the oldest daughter, especially in a first-gen-in-slash-immigrant, like, family household is, like, a whole new experience, a whole other level of, like, um, developmentally inappropriate responsibilities. I will say to your, not like to your credit, but I would venture to say that you also have some of these synders because you are so much younger than me. Yeah. Because you are seven years younger than me.

Starting point is 00:24:30 Like I left and went to college when you were 12. Going into middle school, yeah. When you were, oh, when you were 10. Oh, shoot, you were 10. So then like from the age of 10 onwards, like I wasn't really around. So then you were kind of like the eldest daughter in some ways. So it's kind of interesting. Like you got to experience the first 10 years of your life,

Starting point is 00:24:51 like very fully as like the youngest child. And I think that has had like a really large effect on your personality. And that's why you're so like confident, outgoing and like self-assured naturally. And kind of like, not like attention seeking, but like the same. The comedian of the family, the glue that holds this family together. I actually think I'm funnier, but you are more outwardly funny. I don't agree with that, but okay. Just wait till I glow up.

Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah, we're still waiting. Just wait till I glow up. Still waiting. But yeah, no, it's interesting because I do, I hear you. Like, I kind of have a little bit of both. Yes, but you're also highly, incredibly responsible, super conscientious. Yeah. And like type A and like overachieving as well.

Starting point is 00:25:42 Yeah. Oh, that's so interesting. I just thought of that. That was a novel thought. Her new thought. She's forming her first thought. My first thought. She formed her first thought.

Starting point is 00:25:53 Sometimes I surprise myself. Sometimes she has thoughts. Sometimes I even surprise myself. Yeah, that's interesting. Right? Yeah. I just diagnosed you. Well, I guess there's no middle child between us.

Starting point is 00:26:06 Like, you know, so the middle child, or maybe there is. No, I feel like we both had to be the middle child because. Well, so then before we go into that, like, Middle children are like the peacekeepers. The peacekeepers, the ones who need to help with compromise because they're usually between an older and younger one and they're the ones who are like oftentimes overlooked by the parents because they're neither the oldest nor the youngest. That's usually the diagnosis for middle children.

Starting point is 00:26:31 Yeah. But we do have to be peacekeepers too in our family. Totally. The art of negotiation. It was learned through divorce. Yeah. As children of divorce. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:42 Yeah, truly. And also, like, I think we are, or I'll speak for myself, but I think probably true of you too. Like, I think I'm, like, hyper aware of, like, other people's emotions. Yeah. Because when you're a child and you grow up in a sort of, like, chaotic environment like that, where you need to be hyper aware of, like, your situation, that's something to, like, it's really hard to shake. Well, I would say, I mean, I've talked about it, honestly, with a lot of friends.

Starting point is 00:27:10 They say it's one of my superpowers. Actually, I've talked about it with friends, with mentors, with therapists. It's like being able to read the... She talks a lot. Yeah. Well, I talk about my problems a lot. Being able to like read the room and like diagnose it, it's like a burden, but also a gift because you're able to be like so adept at and see and feel what other people are feeling. And so many people are not able to recognize that.

Starting point is 00:27:37 I think it's helped me in a professional setting. I think you're the more evolved version of me because I think that... My problem is that I do that, but I also instantly, like, default change myself. And, like, one, I, like, take on the emotions of what's going on. And then I'll, like, automatically adjust myself to fit that versus, like, I feel you're more evolved in that you can, like, clock everything and you're super aware. But you don't have to, like, you don't react to that naturally. You, like, decide how you want to react to that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:07 You don't have to take on what. In fact, it's so, I mean, I don't know if it's not a choice. it's definitely not a choice, but like taking on how other people are feeling is just like a huge burden. Yeah, like emotional burden. Oh, totally. And I was just like, don't burden me. Like, I'm like, this is not for me to take on.

Starting point is 00:28:24 Yeah, yeah. So that's why I'm like, you're more evolved in it. Yeah. You're the Charzard to my charm. Charmander. Charmander. Well, also, I feel like I've talked about it a lot too. Like, I've gone to like years of therapy, like consistently and weekly to talk about all, all sort of

Starting point is 00:28:41 you know, in my life and I think it's good. But like, I think I've thought a lot about it and I'm like, okay, thinking about these things now. And I talk about it with friends a lot. Like, I have friends who also feel this way too. So it's like a conversation that we have often. So it doesn't feel as charged. Hmm. You know. But yeah, so. Eldest daughter syndrome. We both have it in some ways. And then to take the topic even one level deeper, there's eldest daughter and then there's eldest immigrant daughter, which is a whole other phenomenon. So eldest daughters in any family are easy to spot. They're labeled bossy, people pleasers, the mom of the friend group, and the kind of type A personality that organizes your get-togethers and is strung tighter than a skim's bikini.

Starting point is 00:29:29 The eldest daughter of immigrants, whof, think the eldest daughter trope on crack. I don't know if I like that. It's from a vice magazine article. Or at least that pill from Limitless. Okay. Okay, but I've, like, wanted that pill from the limit list. Oh, yeah. Well, until he, until Bradley Cooper, like, didn't have any left, and then he only had, like, 24 hours to live or something. So, I don't know, vices. That wasn't my takeaway of the movie.

Starting point is 00:29:53 Somehow I forgot that part. Yeah. I think I've been, like, called all of these things. Bossy, people pleasers, mom of the friend group. I think you just as, like, you have, if you have oldest daughter syndrome, I feel like you want. Okay. You feel responsible.

Starting point is 00:30:11 You feel responsible, but you feel like you need to control things, I think. Or like in situations, even if they're out of your control, you feel like you need to have control. Because sometimes, like, as an oldest child, like you were given responsibility, like, outsized responsibility for your age and for your developmental. Capabilities. But also, like, if you're an oldest child, I feel like a lot of the times the parents are still figuring it out, which is why you have a lot of responsibilities. And you need to, like, take care of yourself or figure things. out for on your own true I do feel like now that I'm now that I'm 35 and I'm not having like a child this year I don't even know about next year I thought it would be next year but

Starting point is 00:30:53 anyway um nope nope but like I feel like now like I am like 10 20 times more equipped to have a child than I would have been if I were like 26 could you imagine I mean like there's plenty of people now who are having kids like in like their early 20s mid 20s but like our parents were like that age when they're having kids and was like me when I was 24 25 years old I was a 24 25 year old teenager and I'm one of the responsible ones like I'm the responsible type A person but I don't I wouldn't have been able to handle that like as opposed to now when I'm 29 and that's just a few years but those years were important for me to grow up and also have like the emotional capacity to like handle myself, let alone a baby.

Starting point is 00:31:44 Speak, girl. Don't you think? Yeah. That's crazy. I don't know if 20-year-olds should be having kids. Well, it also, it makes you honestly have a little bit more empathy for your parents because you're, or for our parents, I guess, because I'm like, damn, like they were still learning about themselves, still growing up, moving to an entirely new country where English

Starting point is 00:32:10 was their second language, having kids. to give up their prior, like, lucrative careers and lives and, like, successful career paths to take on a whole new career path that was not what they, yeah, taking a step back and, like, not what they originally had set out to do. It wasn't their hopes or dreams or aspirations. It was taking something to survive and to provide for your family. Right. In service of, like, another hope or dream, which was, like, the next generation, which was us.

Starting point is 00:32:39 The American dream. Yeah Kamala Hu Yeah Sheree Yeah This was like a much more upbeat version

Starting point is 00:32:49 Of the topic But I think it's because we like Work through the trauma In the first episode I wasn't even traumatized Gene said I looked like I was gonna cry She looked like she was about to cry I wasn't about to cry

Starting point is 00:33:02 Maybe sometimes I know you better than you know yourself I don't Maybe but that wasn't the case Her eyes were shiny My eyes are always shiny She's sparkling eyes Your eyes are sparkling

Starting point is 00:33:17 Sparkling Oh wait Should I say anything about youngest child syndrome No one cares I think if birth order does matter It's pretty nice to grow up as the youngest child I think like you're showered with a lot of love You're the baby of the family

Starting point is 00:33:37 I think it's like one of the luckier ones you do get a lot of attention. And research says that, like, the youngest kids are the ones who end up taking more risks because they feel like they can. They feel supported, whether it's, like, financially, emotionally, whatever, like, they can take more risks and do the more entrepreneurial thing. Yeah. So I do think, like, I feel very lucky to be the youngest in our family, even amongst our cousins. Like, I am regarded as, like, the baby of the family and always have been. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:08 And also the family favorite. Everyone loves Mae Mae. That's true because everyone saw you and everyone known you from since you were a little baby. I know, it's fun. I was like, I was like, I wasn't bratty, but I was just like definitely. She wasn't braty, but she was brat. I was brat but not brat.

Starting point is 00:34:31 Yeah, you were like the definition of brat. Like you were, she was that girl since she was like born. She's always been that girl. No, seriously. Like, I think that is also. Yeah. You're not just the youngest of all of the cousins. Of all of our cousins.

Starting point is 00:34:45 So like you've always been given like a lot of attention and always a lot of positive attention. Yeah. By like all the generation. Yeah. And could like do no wrong in some ways, you know? Yes. Like not that I ever got into trouble, but like. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:01 You were always very well behaved and respectful. Yeah, you were good. But I think people like people like my grandma and grandpa like showered me with a lot of attention. Yeah. And like encouraged your. encouraged your outgoing, your naturally outgoing and like positive nature. Yeah, they really reinforce that. I feel very lucky about that. Like, I think my grandparents did a really good job. I don't know if it was like as welcome

Starting point is 00:35:24 in my like immediate family that I was like super outgoing and like, you know, as a kid very much liking the limelight. But I think my grandparents really leaned into it and and helped that blossom in a way that grandparents do. This is my maternal grandparents. So I feel very lucky about that. Yeah. For that. Her eyes are shiny again. In some ways, I feel like the benefits of you being a youngest child and like taking a lot of risk have now finally come full circle to help me in a way.

Starting point is 00:36:02 Because like you obviously have been working on your creator career for part time, but for the last like five years. years and I've been sort of like behind the scenes like helping you with it and like being a part of it but not fully in it. Yeah. And like only like the fact that I've been watching you do it and been sort of a part of it for so long. Yeah. Do I now feel comfortable doing this startup and doing this entrepreneurial journey with you? And even like putting myself out there like this because like I've mentioned before like I'm naturally a much more private person than sure he is. But like having seen the benefits of your creator career and like all of the work that goes into it and all of how much it helps everyone, that has inspired me and encouraged me to now do this entrepreneurial journey with you.

Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah. It's really come full circle. And it's like really beautiful that we can do this together. I was out to dinner last night. And one of my friends, guy friends, was just like he remarked on how incredible it is that like we are so. aligned in what we want to be doing right now in terms of like vision and like where we're going with sisters matcha with our Japan trip with our content with our conferences like he remarked he like said some stuff about that and I was just like you're so right like it is incredible yeah um I think

Starting point is 00:37:28 it's really special and like obviously it doesn't happen for like many people let alone for like siblings yeah I made I made my own best friend finally it's paying off finally. I was your built-in best friend. Yeah. Oh, your eyes are shiny. Are they? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:50 Best friend. Besties. Besties. Besties. Bestie. Yeah. Okay. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode of the Tiger Sisters.

Starting point is 00:38:02 If you enjoy this episode, please remember to like, comment, and subscribe. And please share it with someone who might find it helpful. Thanks. We'll see you next time. Bye.

Tiger Sisters - Oldest vs. Youngest (how childhood still shapes us today)

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