Tiger Sisters - Personal Finance 101 with Our Money Expert. He Invests Our Life Savings.

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the Tiger Sisters podcast, where we dig into money, power, and love. Today's guest is a man that I trust with my own wallet. Ryan Edlinson is my financial advisor. And he's advised founders, families, and us through multiple recessions over 20 years. Today we'll discuss strategies for different skill levels, beginner, intermediate, and advanced. I'm Sheree. I'm Gene. I'm Ryan.

Starting point is 00:00:27 And we're the Tiger Sisters. I'm Gene Lou, Harvard MBA, X Goldman Sachs, former head of product for AR shopping and monetization at Snapchat, and I have over 50 AI patents. I'm Sheree Lou. I recently graduated from Stanford's Business School back in June last year, and before that, I was a product manager at LinkedIn. I've experienced working in tech and venture capital. Most recently, I started creating content, and I create educational videos that have over

Starting point is 00:01:09 100 million views on TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube. The ideas we discussed today are for informational purposes only. They are not tailored to your own personal situation, and they do not constitute legal, financial, or tax advice. So always do your own research before you actually make any investments and or consult a licensed advisor. Money is such an emotional conversation.

Starting point is 00:01:33 There's so much like baggage that comes with it for each person, depending on how they grew up, where they grew up. and it really stays with you when you're an adult. Yeah. One of the first questions I ask people in an initial meeting when they come to us is tell me what you learned about money growing up. And that usually releases a lot of emotions. Do people cry? We get plenty of crying.

Starting point is 00:01:57 Really? Yeah. Not by design, but money is a lot to it. It is. And a lot of feelings, a lot of emotions. Like you said, a lot of baggage. and there's, yeah, a lot of stress and relationships with people that are involved. So, you know, there's definitely some tears.

Starting point is 00:02:18 Yeah. Well, I was saying to Ryan earlier, I was like, you're basically a therapist. Part-time financial advisor, part-time therapist. Yeah, exactly. Not licensed. And also, I don't know why, but it's because I think you have that sort of financial transparency with people. so then people feel like you're like you already know everything about me like you've seen me like you know like financially naked or like however to put it so then I just like end up telling you

Starting point is 00:02:46 everything like I tell him like all about my like dating life and stuff like that I don't know why Ryan's like I didn't ask it's not relevant at all right I didn't want to know and I didn't ask never the conversation close and you just dispel everything yeah well one thing we do is not everybody does this but if I'm going to ask all these personal questions about finances and everything, I feel like it's my own obligation to share what I do with my own finances and planning and savings and college accounts and everything. And I think that helps build a lot of connection with clients. You know, this is a long-term relationship.

Starting point is 00:03:23 Potentially we're talking to people for 30, 40, 50 years. I want to be transparent with them with what I do. And I tell people, I will never recommend you do anything I haven't done myself. Yeah. Like you've shown me like spreadsheet. of your own, like your own money management before. And that felt really like genuine and transparent to me. I was like, oh, cool.

Starting point is 00:03:44 Yeah. That makes sense. And I trust you. It's authentic to me. And it's, uh, I'm just telling my story and not like I'm trying to pretend to be anybody else. Hey guys, quick break to let you know that we now have merch on sisters matcha.com. We have sweatshirts and t-shirts that we designed yourselves.

Starting point is 00:04:00 Go check it out. And please rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. These ratings are so important for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters podcast. Thank you for your support. Okay, Ryan, let's start off with the beginner mode. So let's say investing in the stock market sounds terrifying to someone. What is the first thing that they should do that is like the five-minute first step to get started? I would probably start by looking at a few mutual funds or indexes, things that you could easily get into with small amounts of money

Starting point is 00:04:34 that are very low cost that you could put money into on a consistent basis. How do you start and then how do you kind of automate it? One thing that we love clients to do is set up automatic monthly contributions, similar to how you pay a mortgage or your rent every month, just like you contribute to a 401K through work, set that up automatically to whatever you're doing. Automated, generally people get used to it. In the beginning, it feels like a bill and then it becomes a habit.

Starting point is 00:05:00 Super quickly, you don't even think about it. Super tactically. what should they be researching? What do you type into Google or what do you type into chat GPT? So I've gotten really into AI recently. Okay. Yeah. And literally I'll just put in any question I can possibly think of, but the first thing that

Starting point is 00:05:17 came to mind was what should I start with investing in as a beginner? So usually we'll do things like the S&P 500. Okay. You're familiar with that. Okay. So an S&P index fund? Yes. Perfect place to start.

Starting point is 00:05:31 You can do it on your own, negligible cost. You can start with 50, 100 bucks a month, very beginner level. Generally, as people get used to it, get more comfortable, see things go up and down. It's a great place to start. And for people who are very beginners, what is the difference between a mutual fund and an index fund in the most basic terms? Mutual fund is somebody managing it and buying and selling and making trades. An index fund, you simply have some stocks in an index and you do nothing and it just

Starting point is 00:06:03 stays and holds those stocks as is. So mutual fund is a little more cost. Somebody's making moves. Index, it just set it and forget it. I would usually go with indexes for most of our clients. We are using indexes, low cost. Typically, if you just do a little homework, chat GPT, Google, hey, can I beat the market?

Starting point is 00:06:25 Very, very seldomly does that happen over any extended period of time? So indexes, by far and large, usually the best place to go. Great. What is the percentage split we should think about in terms of investing into index funds versus more crazy fund bets? I don't know if I would say a percentage. I would probably say more of a dollar amount. Like how much money do you want in an account that you can play with? Pick your stocks. If it goes great, awesome. If it tanks and goes down a ton, you're not going to feel really bad and, you know, have to have to worry about it or tell somebody else. So you're literally saying, like, think about it as a pool of play money. It's like your enjoyment money only is what you're doing for stock picking.

Starting point is 00:07:07 We literally talk about it. Hey, this is your play money. Yeah. Oh, okay. Go, go with it. Go do what you want. If it does awesome, great. If it tanks, don't worry about it.

Starting point is 00:07:14 That's so funny because that's kind of the way I think about when I go to Vegas and I, you know, bet a little bit of money. I'll just be like, okay, my threshold is I'm going to spend up to $300. And then. Big money. big money, big money. How long does that last? I mean, you know, sometimes I'm winning money, so it lasts for a while. And I don't go to like the $100 tables.

Starting point is 00:07:37 I try to go to the $25 minimum if they're available. So I'm like, okay, I will spend up to $300. If I lose it, then I won't play anymore. Yeah, that's a good way to think about it. Yeah, but like you're saying it in the same way. Yes. Yeah. But I also...

Starting point is 00:07:52 I mean, it probably won't go to zero. Yeah. But I would think of it as play money. I literally talk, I use that language with folks. Oh. Yeah. I like that it's not a percentage, actually, and that it's more like a number, because percentages can grow. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah. And dollar amounts grow, too. Yeah. Generally, we find that as clients, you know, earn more, get older, incomes grow, they save more, how they feel about different numbers grows. So, for example, I usually ask, hey, how much you want in emergency funds? In the beginning, people might say a certain amount. And then you talk to them a few years later, and that number usually grows. Oh.

Starting point is 00:08:25 How much should we have in an emergency fund? I usually say six months of expenses. Okay. It's probably your average. If you want to be a little more risky, maybe three months. Some clients want to have a year. It's all personal, but usually six months is probably a good nice. Okay.

Starting point is 00:08:39 So start with six months and then plus or minus. So you spend X per month, six X is probably what you should keep in like a high yield savings account. Okay. I'll have to go check to see if I have that right now. We should have it. Yeah, I have it. Yeah. It should be fine.

Starting point is 00:08:56 Okay. So speaking of automation earlier, Yes. If there's one thing that our viewers should automate, like right after watching the show, what is that one thing? What's the non-negotiable thing that you think they should automate? If we're talking beginner, 401K up to the match. So generally you work somewhere.

Starting point is 00:09:14 They give you a certain amount that they'll put in. If you put money in, no-brainer, free money. Got to do that. Okay. I'm really happy you said that because we did a personal finance episode where we just talked about things that we know and we gave that advice. Perfect. We're aligned.

Starting point is 00:09:29 We're validated. Yes. And if you were to choose. Yeah. Intermediate and advanced. Are there other things people should automate? Medium advanced. I would say a lot of people are at companies where they will have after-tax 401Ks,

Starting point is 00:09:44 which is basically you can max your 401K, depending on your age. It's probably right around 23,000. If you're over 50, probably not a lot of your viewers. But that is 30,000 a year. and then you can actually add money to this thing called an after-tax 401k where you can put away probably an extra 30 or 40,000 bucks a year. That grows tax-free, you take it out tax-free. A lot of people don't know that.

Starting point is 00:10:07 It's just called an after-tax 401-K? There's no other name to it? No, some people will call it a Mega-Roth. Oh, Mega-Roth. Can I do one more for beginners? Yeah, yeah. Please. No-brainer these days is what's called a high-yield savings account

Starting point is 00:10:23 or a money market or CDs. those are where you're guaranteed a certain rate of return. It can change over time a little bit. But ultimately, in a high-yield savings account where you would keep an emergency fund, you can get close to 4% on your money. So let's just say somebody has 10,000 in there. You're literally getting $400 a year of interest for doing nothing. $100,000, that's $4,000 of interest for doing nothing.

Starting point is 00:10:45 So that's usually what, if I see somebody is a bunch in cash, first question I ask is, how much interest are you getting? If they say negligible, it's in a checking account, easy way for them to at least get some interest, zero risk. And so you should automate like a deposit from your paycheck into that every month. You get that, totally. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:02 I actually saw something, this is not really beginner, but I saw something on threads the other day that was saying like instead of using a high-eal checking account, some people, depending on what state they live in, should be putting your money in a money market account instead, which is like a similar percentage right now. Same world concept.

Starting point is 00:11:23 It doesn't get taxed in certain states. Might have been thinking of like treasury bills. Maybe. Okay. Treasury is you don't have like a state tax. So if you're living in a California, a lot of our clients, I guess this will go to advanced. Uh-huh. A lot of clients in high-tax states, you know, New York, New Jersey, California, we use a lot of treasuries.

Starting point is 00:11:42 So if you're earning a high income, high tax rate, high state tax, treasuries can be really tax-sufficient. Mm-hmm. Yes. And you just buy that online, right? Yeah. Like tbills.com or something. Sure. Where would you go?

Starting point is 00:11:59 If I have like a Fidelity account. You could do it in Fidelity. Okay. Yeah. I mean, we do it directly for clients most of the time. But yeah, if you're doing it on your own Vanguard Fidelity, all those places are going to have it on. And I just look up treasuries?

Starting point is 00:12:11 Mm-hmm. Treasuries, yep. Okay. It's literally that easy. Okay. Yeah. I've never done that before. I've mainly been doing ETFs.

Starting point is 00:12:19 Yeah, you can do Treasury ETFs too. Oh, okay. I've never heard of it before. Okay. Cool. Is there one that people mainly talk about? Because I guess for like S&P ETFs, the ones I'm familiar with are like VO, V-O, like those are like, yeah. SPY. SPY.

Starting point is 00:12:42 SPY. Those are stock funds. Yeah. So Treasury is going to be same concept. It's in like an index, but it's just. something different. Like there will be bond indexes, international indexes, oh, tons of them. I hadn't thought about that. That's a good idea. That's a good way to get exposure to a bunch of different bonds and treasuries. I only thought there were stock ETFs. I didn't realize there were other

Starting point is 00:13:06 bond indexes, all of them, yeah. Or mind blown. Good. We've learned something here too. Yeah. Okay. Ryan, so now let's move on to intermediate. Okay. Okay. Give us an exact number that you think a person can then move from working, like having to work or work then becomes optional for them. I guess it depends on how much you're spending, what you're earning, what your tax rate is, where you're going to be. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:38 If I just had to do a guess and you can, I'll look at this when we're done. But I would probably say like 20x. Like if your income is $100,000 a year, actually probably like 30x. I'd probably say 30x. Like if you earning 100 grand a year, take 30 times your income, say about $3 million. I've never really thought about it that way. It's like. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:58 But if I'm trying to simplify how much. Because what if you're done at $30 or 60? It's you got to have your money last a lot longer. We'll usually hear about what's called like the 4% rule. Like if you have X amount saved, let's just say it's a million dollar save. you can live off of 4% of that, so 40 grand a year. So that's probably more common. So if you had $5 million, you could live off of $200,000 a year.

Starting point is 00:14:24 So I guess I would look at it more as how much do you want to live off of and then relate that to how much money you should have in certain accounts. Okay. And you've got to account for taxes and all these other things too. Yeah. Is that 4% because that's kind of what you can reasonably expect that amount to like throw off in for you to spend? Yeah, we called a safe withdrawal. It's a withdrawal rate.

Starting point is 00:14:44 Okay. But yeah, 4% historically is usually pretty darn safe. There's a few different theories around that, but it's usually pretty safe, yes. Okay. And then the idea is that whatever that amount is, the like $1 million, it'll just continue to earn money in perpetuity. That would be the plan. If done properly, yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:01 4% rule. Yeah. 40K for a million? Yeah, it's not as much as you thought. No, it's not. You got to have a lot more. Rent is really expensive here. Yeah. Dang.

Starting point is 00:15:12 A $1 million. We need more money. We won't be retiring after this episode. Not any time soon? Okay. We'll get to rework the plan. Not right after this episode. If you're watching this right now, please keep it on loop.

Starting point is 00:15:27 So that we'll keep early ads and use off this video. So that we may retire early. Yeah. So zooming back into strategy. Is there like a stealth, wealth strategy? that women in their like 20s should implement? I would say for anybody, the first thing that comes to mind

Starting point is 00:15:48 is the percentage of income that you save. So that's able to be done at any income level. Generally we'll say at least 15% of income should be saved. So take your gross income, multiply by 15%. That is what you should be saving each year. If you're not there, we'll try to get clients to get there over time.

Starting point is 00:16:07 It's obviously not going to happen overnight. And if you're there or higher, that's great. A lot of my clients that are maybe in their 40s or 50s or 60s, we try to actually work with them on, hey, how much should you be spending? A lot of my clients have been on a really good job of saving. And it's tough to actually get them to spend their money. And so we talk a lot about, hey, how much do you want to leave to next generations and keep saving versus how much do you actually want to go and enjoy life? Because I don't think we can take it with us. So ultimately, hey, we need to have some more fun.

Starting point is 00:16:37 So I would say at this point in my career, a lot of my conversations are actually. getting clients to feel guilt-free to actually go spend the money that they've worked hard at saving for 20, 30, 40 years. Oh, wait, that's so interesting. So how do you think about that? How do you have those conversations? Just honest conversations. Hey, here's what you can mathematically spend. You're not spending that.

Starting point is 00:16:59 Okay. We are going to encourage you to spend more and go have more fun. It's not going to happen again overnight for a lot of folks. If there's anything I've learned after doing this for 20 plus years, it's money carries a lot of emotion with it. Sure. A lot of people, you know, speaking with a client last week at their home, grew up in India, very tough upbringing as far as finances. We're taught to, you know, save every penny.

Starting point is 00:17:21 And now at 60, she's got more than she could ever need, and I'm trying to encourage her to save. So I'm not going to change 60. I'm sorry. Encourage her to spend. So I'm trying to change 60 years of habits. That's not going to happen overnight. So there's a lot of emotions and guilt and feelings around going and spending money. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:39 growing up, it was very much like a saving mindset. And then in college, you know, definitely I was on student loans and saving a lot of money. And finally, when I graduated and started making like real adult money, I had a really hard time spending it. One, because I was like, I didn't really budget that well. So I didn't know how much I could spend. I was living below my means and I could have more money for fun. But I was just really stressed out and like really had to work through like, oh, I can, do things to really enjoy this now, like adult money that I have. It was a mindset shift for sure.

Starting point is 00:18:14 Yeah. I read a book called Die with Zero. It's basically the whole concept. There's a lot to it. But the concept is you want to spend your money while you're here and not necessarily, you know, when you're 85 and not able to enjoy certain things. So they do talk a lot about, hey, maybe you shouldn't save quite as much when you're younger, you know, enjoy things a little bit more. Your highest earning years are going to be ahead of you. Maybe you should actually go save more then. So it's just honest conversations with people. And do you agree with that philosophy? I think my father passed away a couple years ago.

Starting point is 00:18:44 Before that, I was definitely a person that wanted to save every single penny. Yeah. And I think when that happened, I realized, hey, you know what, maybe I should actually go enjoy things and not say, hey, I'm going to take the trip next year. And then 10 years later, here I am, right? So I think there's a balance. Yeah. But I think that spending and saving in that good mix and ratio, whatever it is for each person,

Starting point is 00:19:06 is where we're trying to get with everybody. We're not trying to tell them exactly what to do. We're trying to ask them, hey, what are your goals and trying to get them to live those out and kind of hold up the mirror a little bit. So maybe we should go to Kazanori tonight. We should get sushi tonight.

Starting point is 00:19:23 Yeah. Because we were talking about, because we were going to celebrate hitting the milestone. You should. Should we go? Should we not go? Okay, Ryan, one thing we say on Tiger Sisters is that we talk about money,

Starting point is 00:19:35 power and love. Okay. So moving to the sort of like love section of all of this. I know you're not a licensed love therapist, but you know, you're, you're married. You have three kids. You have one on the way. Yes. What is kind of like one sort of like lesson that you have that's a through line from

Starting point is 00:19:58 from all of the experiences that you've had? So my first thought is just to be open and honest with your partner about what you're doing. and I have plenty of people that I meet that basically keep things separate. Uh-huh. Their finances. Yeah. And I think one thing that's especially if somebody's meeting somebody later in life where they've already developed their own financial habits and their own financial wealth, I would say, that's pretty common.

Starting point is 00:20:24 And one thing I often encourage is maybe you have your account, they have their account, but maybe having a shared account. I usually find that the people that at least are open and communicate with it, it's a better long-term result than not knowing what each other is doing. It doesn't necessarily mean that that's not going to go well, but I've just found that in general having some transparency, maybe a shared account, creates better outcomes. What have you seen works well that like someone would be spending in a shared account, for example, versus like a personal account?

Starting point is 00:21:00 in that case. Yes, a lot of people will say, hey, I want to buy a gift. Excuse me. I will see a lot of people want to buy a gift for somebody. They're significant other, but they don't want them to know about it. So that might come from your personal account, right? Okay. But the shared account is probably where the bills go, come from,

Starting point is 00:21:16 where the monthly investing comes from, where the, whatever, kids' child care, or whatever, comes from that account. So sometimes they'll have separate accounts for their own personal expenses and then a shared account probably for the overall family. expenses and savings. Okay. And then do they have visibility into the respective personal accounts? That's personal. I would say the personal accounts, probably not. When I'm talking to people, I usually will say something like, hey, how much is in the cash today? And they'll just know what's

Starting point is 00:21:48 in the joint account. They may not know exactly what's in the personal accounts, but they have an idea. You know, they're in the ballpark. Yeah. It's not like one account. Oh, my God, they have that much. It's, you know, okay, you're roughly around that number. Okay. And, you know, And you've seen that that works well for people who like, I've seen it go pretty darn well, yeah. Meet later in life. Yeah. A lot of clients meet 30s, 40s and kind of have their own systems and plan in place.

Starting point is 00:22:13 And they want to kind of maybe have that little independence that usually can go. Okay. So I'm 29 now. And so people who are around their age, do they usually do only a shared account? Or what do you see for people who are like kind of new to this? I've seen it all. You seen it all? Or like, what do you recommend?

Starting point is 00:22:34 I don't know. If I had to pick for somebody, I would probably say having, like I just described. Okay. No matter what stage you're in? Yeah, probably. You have your own individual account and then have a shared account. I think that goes in general quite well for folks, yeah. And do couples both contribute equally 50-50 into the shared account, or is that just a conversation?

Starting point is 00:22:56 Not always. I mean, there might be one partner that earns. more than the other or less. I think it's just having a conversation with each other and being transparent about, hey, how much am I earning? What am I saving? Because sometimes clients will say, I'm going to save a lot of my income. You don't save any of yours.

Starting point is 00:23:14 We view that as spending money. Or we're going to save all of a lower income partners' earnings, and we're going to spend more of mine. So it's more just a conversation, I would say. Yeah. I guess it goes back to your original point of, transparency and then coming to a shared understanding of a system that works for both people and both people people feel comfortable and like happy and satisfied with and then just

Starting point is 00:23:44 continuing to like check in and like use that system. I would agree. I mean is it always going to be perfect? No. You know I'm more of a saver. My wife is more of a spender. And as long as we communicate about what typically should be spent and we're open and honest with it, it goes pretty darn well. It's not like it goes perfectly every time when I get a bill, but that's okay. Well, I have a follow-up question. Okay. Okay, Ryan, let's say I'm starting to date someone new right now. I'm dating a guy. This is a hypothetical. Hypothetically speaking. Did you ask her a 401k balance? This is a related question, actually. At what point, like how many months, how many dates?

Starting point is 00:24:24 I don't know how to quantify it. Should we start talking about like finding? finances. That was a question. Clearly I'm very uncomfortable with this topic, but I'm like curious. Like I don't know when like do I ask them like how much money they have saved or how much money do they make. Like I guess I've never really talked about that. Based on your professional opinion. My professional. Like before we get engaged like this is a this is obviously a topic. Yeah. Yeah. But like maybe how early on? So with my wife, I know I'm annoying and I had like a list but I literally at the time, I just Googled like the top 100 questions to ask somebody before you married them. And a bunch of them were finances.

Starting point is 00:25:03 Was it awkward? No. Oh. I'm like so awkward. I can be a little, uh, yeah. As an interrogator, I guess sometimes. But I'm also, some people are very uncomfortable talking about money. I am not.

Starting point is 00:25:15 I do this all the time and every day. So I come in from the perspective where I'm within 10 seconds, I'm asking somebody about what's in their bank account, how they feel about money. Have they ever lost money? where their experience is investing. You know, like... I'm writing these down for my next date. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:30 I'm writing these questions down. So, yeah, you should ask my wife. But she was probably like, what the heck is this guy doing? But no, I would say, however it comes up naturally. It just doesn't. I just avoid it. We have to find some strategy.

Starting point is 00:25:44 Yeah. We'll talk offline, I guess. Maybe I can role play. Sure. Right now, I'm like, how much money do you have in your bank account? I can't even say it seriously. You know what's true, though?

Starting point is 00:25:55 I tell clients all the time blame me. Oh. I don't know how often they do it, but I have heard it goes pretty well to have me and say, hey, my finance person said this. What do you think? Oh, wait, like what? He said that I must ask you by the third date. No, not at all.

Starting point is 00:26:19 I did not say this, jeep. You said I can blame you. You can blame me, but I would maybe say it this way. Okay. My finance guy recommended having six months of my expenses in a savings account. Okay. Have you ever heard about that? How do you feel about that?

Starting point is 00:26:33 Okay. Have you ever heard about that? How do you feel about that? Okay. I don't know. Yeah. I'm like, how do you feel about it? Okay.

Starting point is 00:26:43 Do you have six months in your finance? In your savings account? Yeah. How many months do you have saved? There you go. No, that's too direct for me. But I do like the idea of putting it on you. That works really well for me.

Starting point is 00:26:58 That's good with me too. It's a straw man. I'm not even there. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like Ryan Edlinson, look him up. Yeah. Google him.

Starting point is 00:27:07 He's real. He said that. Yeah. Okay. That's helpful. I think. But don't you think if you're in a strong relationship and it's going somewhere that you would be comfortable asking that it might be uncomfortable, but don't you think that's an important

Starting point is 00:27:22 question? just overall talking about finances and saving and... I think it's really important. Like, they say the person that you marry is probably the most important financial decision that you'll make because your habits blend with their habits. I agree it's important. I've never been at that stage romantically

Starting point is 00:27:39 to, like, have a serious conversation like that with a partner. So I'm not quite there yet, but I guess it might be coming soon. Maybe. Yeah. From your lipstick, let's see. From what? From your lips to God's ears.

Starting point is 00:27:54 Okay. Manifesting. Manifesting. Well, do you have an opinion on when this conversation should happen? Like, at what stage of seriousness in your relationship? Do I have to put, like, a number of dates? Maybe. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:09 Yeah. I would say, like, by the fifth date. Oh. Is that too soon? Maybe. Oh, geez. No, I'll try it. I haven't even decided if I like someone by date five.

Starting point is 00:28:18 Oh, okay. Well, after you know that you like them. Okay. How about that? We won't quantify it. Oh, okay. That's a good, okay. After you know that you like them and you think this could be something serious.

Starting point is 00:28:32 Not too far after that. Is that okay? I think so because after you like them and you think it could be serious, if you find that your financial habits are completely on polar opposites, then that's like it could be a breaking point or a deal breaker. So even before that then? It might be. It might not be.

Starting point is 00:28:51 Like I have plenty of clients where one person is here and one's here. As long as it's open and communicate and it's not hidden, I find that it's okay sometimes. Is most of the time the person that makes more in your clients, your instance is the man? You might be surprised. I was actually looking at this. I think seven out of my top ten clients are female.

Starting point is 00:29:16 And I think there are a lot more of my clients who are female that earn more, and there are more and more of my clients that are stay-at-home dads. Oh. I'm not going to say it's a majority, but it is more and more. I wonder if...

Starting point is 00:29:35 Would you be comfortable with that? That's a good question. Like earning more than my partner. Yeah. Okay, to be totally honest, yes, if they were equally as powerful and influential on another level. Like they were confident and okay with it?

Starting point is 00:29:58 Sure. And if they were rich in some other sort of currency. What do you mean by that? Like driven. Yeah. Like a PhD scientist at NASA. Sure. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:10 Yeah. Might meet somebody. Does that make sense? Or I guess they're like a maestro in their own regard. Exactly. Exactly. It doesn't have to be a high-paying job, but they have to. to be someone who's really good at their craft or whatever their craft is.

Starting point is 00:30:25 Yes. They have to be excellent in some other way, like top of their field. What if that field was just a really good person who was a great stay-at-home dad? Good question. Great question. Again, there's no right or wrong in meetings. She's embarrassed by her answer. That's okay.

Starting point is 00:30:50 But I just, in meetings, I just ask a ton of questions. Yeah. Yeah. And again, I don't want anybody to do any, people do things for their reasons, not mine. Yeah. And at the end of the day, I just want to get people to a point where we're doing it for the right reasons. You know, I ask why a lot. And again, if it's not that it's shallow or not shallow, it's just that's important to you.

Starting point is 00:31:13 That's okay. Yeah. I guess you have to think about it practically because if you're not, if you're making more of the money and not home, let's say, then your partner would have to be home or you would have help. So it just kind of depends on what you want. Yeah. But not everybody's comfortable with that too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:31 I mean, I wasn't really thinking about, like, I wasn't thinking about that as like the, like a potential avenue of excellence. I guess I was thinking like something else, I guess, in society, like broader society. Okay. Yeah. Griller. Get her. Get her.

Starting point is 00:31:54 Yeah. But it's a great point. Yeah. I don't have an answer for that now. Thank God you're not asking me. But I think it's a great point. It's a great question. Well, a related question.

Starting point is 00:32:06 So people talk about pre-ups a lot. So is asking for a pre-nup a smart financial move? Or is it like a relationship killer? I do not think it should be a relationship killer at all. Okay. It does not come up very often. Most of my clients, when I've met them, are 30s or 40s. So I would say it's not, they're probably not at the wealth where it's a super common theme

Starting point is 00:32:31 or they most often don't have, you know, large inheritance is coming down where they've got $100 million. We need to have these conversations. But I don't think it should be a deal of killer at all. I don't think any open, honest, authentic conversation or question should be a deal killer with any relationship. As long as it comes from the heart and it's authentic and you say why it's important to you, I mean, if anybody said that to me, I would be listening and totally open to it.

Starting point is 00:32:57 At what level or how much money should someone have for them to like want a pre-nup? Or is that it's like reasonable to ask for one? I mean, I don't know if it comes down to a specific dollar amount. It may not be necessarily, hey, here's what I've got today. It might also be for somebody, hey, here's what I could see going forward. and that's important to me. And a pre-up is moving forward. It's not-

Starting point is 00:33:20 A pre-nip could be existing assets. I'm not a lawyer, but you could do future earnings and stuff like that too, yeah. Okay, well, last question, I'm going to grill myself. Last question on the love segment. So, Ryan, you've met my ex-fiance

Starting point is 00:33:38 and, like, we've all, like, talked together as a group and stuff, and you even sent us a very nice gift for our engagement. what, if any, red flags did you see? Not with you specifically, but sometimes you will see things. Okay. And I don't want anybody to feel, I don't know, awkward or uncomfortable.

Starting point is 00:33:59 I just tried to ask questions in a way that makes them realize what they might maybe don't see. That sometimes it's easier and people always, generally you can see things better from the outside, right? more objective. Yeah. I'm sure people say the same thing about me with my team or employees or spouse or everybody, family. How long were you? Together? Yeah, eight years.

Starting point is 00:34:23 Eight years. Yeah. Was there some reason that it took eight years? But it doesn't mean that that's a bad thing, though. I guess. Or put another way, like you said sometimes you see things or you ask questions that bring up things that they don't see about themselves. Like, can you think of, was there an example? with us that you thought like oh this is something or even just for me like that I can see very clearly

Starting point is 00:34:48 as a third party that they have a blind spot to or she has a blind spot around the truth is jean I don't think there was any okay so that's so you're saying that's not why we broke up no there was other stuff evidently but no I don't think there was any financial red flags where I'm like oh my gosh this is crazy and if there if it was I would would have probably told you guys. Yeah. Yeah. And said, hey, here's what I see.

Starting point is 00:35:15 You know, here's what I've seen go well with folks. And sometimes here's where I've seen difficulties. Yeah. I'm not saying, again, you're in one or the other, but I want you to be aware of here's what, you know, often happens. Yeah. Well, I didn't, I never told you, but I did say, you know, Ryan Edlifson said that we can't be together anymore.

Starting point is 00:35:33 My financial. Cut this out. Where I get hunted down. I was just kidding. That's a joke, guys. It's a joke. Nothing to do with finances. You can cut this out of you as I want to.

Starting point is 00:35:45 Yeah. Did you guys tell everybody you kind of kept it secret for a bit, right? That we were engaged. Yeah. Yeah. Looking back, sorry, it just jogged my memory. Yeah. So that was probably, if you're asking for a red flag, that would have been it.

Starting point is 00:35:58 Yeah. One of the greatest moments. Why would you hide that from people? Yeah. Wow, I can't believe we told you that. Yeah. Wait, you knew before other people knew. You would be surprised how much people tell me before telling me

Starting point is 00:36:11 before telling even their closest family and friends. I don't even remember telling you that. I joke with people that I probably will know you within one hour better than your closest friends. Wow. Because you ask a lot of important questions. Yeah, I believe that. Wow, that's a good memory bankable.

Starting point is 00:36:30 I didn't remember that at all. Now that I think about it, again, keep as much or as little as you wanted this, but that stood out to me. Not at the time, but looking back now, that stood out now. Yeah. I'm realizing that's, yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:44 Wait, who'd you tell first, Ryan or me? You, I'll be. Are you sure? Yeah. I think she waited like a day or two to tell me too. Yeah. I was in Spain. The time zones are different, you know?

Starting point is 00:36:57 Well, if we can keep going on this. Okay. You guys also planned it, right? If I'm not mistaken? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:03 Yeah. Yeah. What does that, what does that mean? Does it strike you that most of the time engagements are a surprise and that Jean basically planned her own engagement

Starting point is 00:37:17 you know you know it does strike me that that happened and I've mentioned it I was like it was a lame engagement she struck it yeah you're picking up all the yeah

Starting point is 00:37:28 the right threads sorry no good good good points so moving on to dealer delusion lightning round wait that wasn't the delusion part Wow. He's spicy.

Starting point is 00:37:42 Now he's spicy. Now Ryan's spicy. Now Ryan's ready to be spicy. So let's see we just have to warm him up with grilling me. Yes, exactly. No, I'm loose. Now he's loose. Okay.

Starting point is 00:37:51 Okay. We have a segment, Ryan, called deal or delusion. So we'll be reading statements out to you and we want to hear from you. You can say it's either a good deal or it's completely delusional and you can give a short response on why you think so. Right. Deal or delusion. pre-nups should be standard for anyone with 100,000 or more in that worth. Delusion.

Starting point is 00:38:13 I'd say for most people, it's probably delusional. Deal or delusion? If you're not earning a million dollars before you're 30, you're late. Absolutely delusional. One thing I've learned is no matter what somebody earns, they're always going to want more, myself included, and I'm thinking you two included. It's more about being happy with whatever you're earning than it is trying to more. That extra dollar does not bring in my experience much more happiness. It's negligible the more

Starting point is 00:38:46 you earn. So coming from somebody that's had nothing and had a rent eviction notice when I was 28 years old or whatever it was to now earning a significant amount more. I look back at times when I was 25, 28 earning nothing and was able to live off of literally two grand a month. And I was as happy as I was, you know, as could be. So I do not think earning a dollar amount makes anybody much happier. Okay, Ryan, deal or delusion? Having kids is the worst financial decision that you can make. I wouldn't say worse.

Starting point is 00:39:19 It's definitely not the best. Coming from somebody that's about to have four. Okay. One of my team members and I were talking about this on a call today with a client who basically had another kid and they're like, man, kids are expensive. And one of my team members had a kid just six months ago and I'm like, it's going to be expensive. He's like, what are you talking about? And I was like, now I get it.

Starting point is 00:39:40 Kids aren't cheap. There's just stuff to buy things to do. Every place you take a kid is as expensive. And again, I can go to the park and have a great experience with my kid. But, you know, yes, kids are not cheap. There's always something. Thanks so much, Ryan, for chatting with us today. Thank you for having me.

Starting point is 00:39:57 This has been awesome. Yeah. And we'll include a one pager that Ryan will provide us. It's like personal finance 101. It's a checklist. So if you want to check it out, it will be linked in the description of this video. And for all of you watching on YouTube, please remember to like, comment, and subscribe in this video. And if you're listening to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, we'd so appreciate it if you can give us a five-star review.

Starting point is 00:40:23 Yes, and please share Tiger Sisters with your friends and family who would also enjoy our podcast. Thank you for listening. Bye. Bye.

Tiger Sisters - Personal Finance 101 with Our Money Expert. He Invests Our Life Savings.

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