Tiger Sisters - Power & Influence 101: office politics playbook from Harvard & Stanford MBAs

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is Power and Influence 101. This is what you need to know about networking in the workplace, and they don't teach you this at school. Everyone needs to know these tactics and skills, no matter what role or industry you're in. Watch this entire video through, because you might not agree with everything we say, but you definitely need to know these skills and tactics exist

Starting point is 00:00:21 because people at work might be using them on you. And stick around because for each of the four skills, we're going to have a small exercise that you can do while you're watching. I'm Sheree, I'm Gene, and I'm We're the Tiger Sisters. Hey guys, quick break to let you know that we now have merch on sistersmacha.com. We have sweatshirts and t-shirts that we designed yourselves. Go check it out. And please rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Starting point is 00:00:59 These ratings are so important for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters Podcast. Thank you for your support. The first skill we're going to talk about is actually the most underrated skill to have in the workplace. Listening and empathy. So there's a really famous saying you have two ears and one mouth, and that's because you should listen more than you speak. When I worked at LinkedIn as a senior product manager, one of I think the skills that was most important for my role and also to get ahead is to really listen well and listen actively, not only to our customers, but also to our teammates. So my role as a product manager, super cross-functional, working with different roles and, you know, different types of personalities. and the number one thing that you have to do in that case is to hear everyone out and to like listen

Starting point is 00:01:46 actively. And what that means is that when someone says something to you, you can repeat back and clarify your own understanding with them. So you can say like, hey, what I'm hearing is this. Did I get that right? Like that's a really easy way to make someone in the workplace feel like you're actually listening to them and not like thinking about your next point that you want to say. I can definitely corroborate that because as a head of product at Snapchat, not only did I have that same experience as an individual contributor when I was a product manager, but as you become more senior, a lot of your role is actually managing relationships, both of the people that you manage, your cross-functional partners, managing up. And that all starts with really listening, not just listening, but listening in a way where the other person feels heard. Like that's actually, I think, the nuance of it. It's not. just listening and empathy, it's listening with empathy so that the other person feels listen to. Yeah. So it's like that that's the secret to it. By repeating back what you heard the other person

Starting point is 00:02:52 say, you're confirming your understanding with them. Yeah. Because too often, like I've had those conversations with people where they're just thinking about their next point. They're not actually listening to you, but they're prioritizing themselves and what's on their mind rather than what you're saying. so you can repeat what they just said back to you. And the most empathetic thing that you can do is not only just listen to them, but make them feel heard. In the workplace, a lot of problems actually stem from people not feeling heard. People feeling like their voices being ignored. People feeling like they don't have influence on an outcome.

Starting point is 00:03:27 People feeling like they are being sort of smushed down and repressed. Yeah, overridden. So even just playing that role of listening to the. person and having them feel like you are really hearing them out. And even if you can't necessarily do something about it, it still makes a really big difference. And it goes a long way in building goodwill and kind of building out a long-term relationship with that person. This is like probably the most important thing you can do for relationship building. And if you're not like a naturally good listener, honestly, or if you're not naturally like an empathetic person with no judgment. I'm just

Starting point is 00:04:06 saying like these are skills that you can work on and make it seem that you you actually feel more empathetic and I'm not saying that in like a weird way but like yeah these are things you can work on well so that's why I actually like your suggestion yeah repeating it back that's not something that I do because I feel like I don't need to do that per se like I have other ways of naturally listening to people with empathy and really understanding them but I feel like that's like a really good method of starting out and almost it's a forcing fun of like if you go into the conversation and you're like, okay, my goal is to repeat back to them what they said to me, then you're actually like going in and trying to actively listen

Starting point is 00:04:45 and actively understand. Yeah. So that's why it's actually a very, very good tip, even if you're like just starting out on your journey of being a really empathetic listener. Yeah. And like the other person will correct you if you are not understanding or comprehending exactly what their point is. And that sometimes happens to me.

Starting point is 00:05:01 Sometimes like people will like, you know, have like a really long paragraph of the thing they said and I was like, wait, I don't know if I actually understand that. Yeah. Did I get this right? Yeah. So it's both like for practical reasons and for your own comprehension. Yeah, exactly. And then the last thing I'll say, I think something I'm going to say a lot throughout this episode is information is power. And that's something that I feel like I only learned further along in my career or I only fully deeply understood fully further along in my career. And you can't get information if you're not listening. mind-blown. She thought she dropped a truth bomb there. Maybe it is a truth bomb. Yeah. We shall see in the episode. We shall see. So a way to practice this is if you're in a low-stakes meeting with people that you trust, you can speak last in the meeting, summarize everyone else's points succinctly, and then make your own point to show that you're bringing in other people's ideas. So one way that this might look like is that at the end of the meeting, you're like, what I heard Brittany say was, XYZ. And then Tim said ABC. Like, I really like that point because, and then you go into your own

Starting point is 00:06:15 point and you can kind of be the person who connects everything together and is like the summarizer, but then you also add in your own idea. So this is something to try yourself. And in your next meeting, if there's someone who you admire in the workplace, you can kind of see if they do this well. because really good storytellers and really great presenters are often looked to as the summarizer who brings everything together. Yeah, I feel like it can sort of sound cheesy as an exercise or as something that you actually do IRL. But as you were saying it, I remembered why it's so powerful.

Starting point is 00:06:49 It's because also when you reference other people in the meeting, they kind of like perk up and they start to listen. And then they automatically kind of have buy-in into what you're saying because you said their name first. So they feel heard. Exactly. They feel heard and then they kind of are automatically supporting your point because you reference their point. Especially for building on top of what they're saying. Yeah. So it's a way to kind of like build consensus, build allies to sort of build towards a point that you want to make by building on other people's points. You thought this was simple. This just got 10 levels deeper on how to use listening and empathy at work to get ahead.

Starting point is 00:07:29 It's actually much deeper than it sounds. Yeah, we hadn't even, yeah, I hadn't even thought about that part before this. Okay, the next skill we're going to talk about is executive presence, which is the number one skill you need to be taken seriously in any room you go into. Executive presence is a bit harder to define, but have you ever like seen someone speak like a CEO, a leader, maybe, you know, your VP? And like they just exude confidence, calmness and gravitas. us, that's what executive presence is. And it's something that can really be felt, someone really owning the room and making sure that their presence is something that is very memorable. This not only is in what they're saying, but also nonverbal cues as well. So it's eye contact, it's posture,

Starting point is 00:08:16 it's tenor of their voice, is their voice shaking or are they saying things with confidence? And there's also studies out there that show it's not only like obviously what you say, people like don't really focus on that as much, but it's really like how you look and how you sound. And it's actually in a lot of things you wouldn't even think about. So one example of a nonverbal cue is, let's say there is a big meeting room. We have a lot of people walking into the meeting. I remember a lot of times at work, there would be, you know, 12 seats around the table and then there would be all these seats along the side of the room for everyone, right? So if you walk into the room, where are you sitting? Are you sitting at the table or are you sitting on the sides? When you go to sit at the

Starting point is 00:08:56 table, are you going to sit in the corner or are you going to sit next to the, you know, the number one person in the room? So these are all like little things that without you even saying anything, you're telling people how you perceive yourself, right? You're telling people this is what I consider my role to be in this room and this is how you should regard me. Totally. And also like we're not going to tell you where to sit because it's different in every single context. Yeah, sit with us though. But you should know that like people are strategic about this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:27 Maybe you might not be right now, but you should, you should know that everyone else in the room, maybe, okay, a lot of people in the room are very strategic about where they sit and how they show up. Yeah. And maybe it could be the other way around. Like, let's say you're going into a meeting and you actually don't want to be perceived. You don't want to be a big part of the meeting. Do not per sit at the table.

Starting point is 00:09:46 Don't sit at the table, right? Yeah. That's why people are always like, sit at the table. Right. Right. That's why they, it's like a sort of a trope. I have a funny story. Okay.

Starting point is 00:09:56 It's a trope for a reason because it's literal. Yeah. And also there's like studies out there about how like women don't sit at the table. More than gravitate towards the seats at the table, whereas more women gravitate towards a seat at the back of the room because of like, you know, power and balance, whatever. But like that's also where it came in and like Cheryl Samberg, one of her famous sayings is take a seat at the table. Ladies. But my funny story is that when I was an intern at LinkedIn, I was a note taker for a strategy meeting with

Starting point is 00:10:26 the then CEO Jeff Weiner of LinkedIn, CEO and like head of product. And I was like a note taker. And obviously I didn't know anyone in the meeting except for like my like mentor or boss who was presenting. But like there's like a seat that Jeff Weiner, the CEO of LinkedIn with sit in every single time. She was barely invited to a meeting. Yeah, I barely made the cut and somehow I like, you know, caused a ruckus. Not really. But like there's a seat that the CEO sits in. And like everyone else, all the VPs of product would, you know, come to this weekly meeting so they know where he sat. Me being a newbie, I have no idea where he sat. So then I take the seat next to Jeff Weiner before he walks in. Like there's just, it's an empty table. Everyone's filing in. And I just sit at the table.

Starting point is 00:11:10 I'm a note taker. I need to put my laptop on something. What am I going to put it on my lap? No, I'm sitting at the table. And I put my laptop down and then, you know, five minutes walk past. No one says anything to me, but I get kind of some glances. And they're like, who the hell is this chick? who was like, you know, a 20-year-old sitting at this table. Jeff Weiner comes in last because, you know, he's like, busy as a CEO. He sits next to me and I was like, fuck. I sitting next to the CEO. And no one said anything.

Starting point is 00:11:38 Did you introduce yourself? No, I was scared. I was like, oh shit. I was like, I have made a grave mistake. And so like in the meeting, I'm just like typing up notes like right next to the CEO. Yeah. As he's like, you know, not berating someone, but like going really hard. into the strategy. Going hard in the paint. Going hard in the paint. Of the strategy. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:12:00 Not a funny story. Just to say like where you sit, like it signifies something. Yeah. And well, is that something that you've noticed now? Like people strategically choose where to sit in meetings. Yeah, for sure. Also, I mean, we're going to go into this more later in this episode, but like not only coordinating where you sit, but coordinating what you say in a meeting. Like, you think everything is the ad hoc. No honey. No honey. Things are happening behind the scenes for the most part of people are

Starting point is 00:12:32 smart about it. They've already talked about what they're going to say and, you know, rehearsed it. Not even to say it's like a malicious rehearsing. Everyone's just for the bokey theater. Yeah. In some ways, it really is. Another big part of executive presence is seeming calm and collected

Starting point is 00:12:48 no matter the circumstance. You can do this even if you feel really, really nervous going into a meeting. or a major presentation or if you have to speak in front of, you know, either a thousand people or five people. One thing that you can do, I actually think like Evan Spiegel told this to me at one point is instead of saying to yourself that you feel nervous, you just say that you feel excited. Like whatever you're feeling, you just reframe it.

Starting point is 00:13:16 And then by doing that, you're not really nervous anymore. You're like, oh, wait, I'm excited. I'm like ready to like jump into this. The reason I feel all these like butterflies and I'm feeling like, you know, a little bit tingly. Tingly is because I'm excited. I am prepared. I'm going to get out there and share my message with people and they're going to love it. It's like a very subtle mindset shift.

Starting point is 00:13:39 But on the other side of nervousness is excitement. Yeah. So that's one thing that I've actually always remembered ever since then. Yeah. It's actually a pretty famous thing. We learned that in business school too when I took my executive president. in public speaking class. Oh. Is that like we literally had a lesson on like the mindset shifts from nervousness to excitement. Oh wow. It's like a real thing and study show. Oh good. And then what about

Starting point is 00:14:03 you? Can you share like a tip you have? Yes. I love this tip and I do not take credit for it. Credit to shout out Eric Wellenbacher, one of my old bosses, my former bosses who told me this tip. And it works for me and I hope it'll work for you. Super easy. Try it out. People are so scared of presenting. I think public speaking is the number one fear that everyone has, and it's even higher than death. I think people fear death less than public speaking. Everyone gets the jitters. I'm not immune to that. And so before presenting something that I do, it's not power posing. I don't do that anymore. Like, what I do is I try to get a quick, like, heart rate cardio exercise in, nothing intense. You can do push-ups, you can do jumping jacks, jump up and down in place. But like my heart, before I present,

Starting point is 00:14:49 is beating out of my chest. You know, it's like, boom, boom, boom. my heart rate's super fast, but my body is not in motion, right? Like usually when I'm running, that's when my heart rate is up. But so I'm trying to get my heart rate and the way my body feels and all the jitters aligned. And so by doing like a quick exercise, you're able to feel more aligned physically so that you can go in and present well. So like a few jumping jacks or something. Like whatever, you know, jumping jacks run in place. I just like jump up and down sometimes. But like it's a way to get your heart rate up a little bit more and I just feel more focused in my presentation because everything physically, you know, in my body feels much better. Up next, building a powerful network because

Starting point is 00:15:34 having executive presence is not going to matter if you don't have allies in the room. One of the things that's really hard about starting at a new company or starting at a new role in a new place is that like you don't, okay, you don't have any friends, but like you also like don't know who are your allies. You're a loser. No. It's just hard because like when you've been at a company or a place for a long time, you know, who's got your back. It can be your boss or it can be, you know, your peers so that you feel like you have support in a meeting. So I think mentors and allies when you go into a new environment, those are two things everyone should be seeking out. And I think a lot of that is not as structured like a do ABC, D, EFG as you would think it would be. A lot of it is kind of going to come naturally.

Starting point is 00:16:19 as to like who you gravitate towards, who gravitates towards you. I think just more like be aware of that and then lean into those relationships. And then also I would say one thing you can be more directive about is cultivate relationships across all parts of the company because it's actually not as helpful if you just have all of your primary network and your primary relationships in your one group. It's actually much more powerful if you have allies and friends throughout the entire company. And I think a note on mentorship, something that I've done and Gene just touched on this is like it should feel very natural. I think it's odd and I do not recommend asking someone directly like, will you be my mentor?

Starting point is 00:17:01 Like I think nowadays people are not doing that and it's much more informal mentorship. After you've had coffee chat with someone and you feel like you really vibe, you can ask for a follow up and meet them for like another like two coffee chats. And after the third one, like as you're bringing up questions or things you want advice on, the mentorship happens much more organically that way because I think I've seen a lot of young people first ask is like, will you be my mentor? That's pretty like direct and too much of like a fast build. It's jarring. It's pretty jarring. I'm like, I don't know you. Yeah. I know me. So like I a relationship needs to be built and you don't have to be like explicitly like will you be my mentor. Maybe you can say that like after like coffee date three or something. But I think you just need to build a relationship first

Starting point is 00:17:45 before actually like any mentorship really happens. Yeah, I think the only exception to that would be if you are really early on in your career and you're put into like a program where it's explicitly mentor matching and it's meant to match mentors to mentees, then you're kind of, then it's almost like, you know, when you're like, when you go on a date, then it's like explicitly romantic. It's like when your mentor match, you're like explicitly in a mentor mentee relationship. So you can kind of just go into it being more explicit about it basically. But if you're sort of building it from scratch more organically, it's a little off-putting

Starting point is 00:18:22 to just say like, hey, will you be my mentor? When you don't know each other. Yeah. Yeah. You want it to feel natural. I would say something that I've done is like I've been a little bit more like intentional about it. So like, yes, I'll have coffee chats with people.

Starting point is 00:18:38 Once I see someone in the company, whether they've presented or, you know, they were in a meeting together. and I really admire something about them. It's like, I can tell. I was just like, oh, their career is really cool. Like, I'm like much more explicit. And like, I've made a list before of people who I'm like, I need to follow up and like at least reach out to them. And if they don't respond, I'll reach out another time.

Starting point is 00:18:59 I just like have a tracker. And that sounds insane. But like, that's one way that I'm able to keep it very intentional in my life and also have really strong relationships that grow over time. The other thing that I remember is that especially if you're really early on in your career, a lot of people are interested in mentoring really young people because anyone can help them. Like any number of skills can be taught to them. And so I remember when I was early on at Goldman, we did have some mentor-mente programs, but I also was talking to a friend of mine who was in a different org than me. I was in investment management and she was in sales and trading. And I kind of

Starting point is 00:19:43 asked her, I was like, hey, like, do you have any mentors that you really, really look up to and you, you know, really cherish your relationship with them? And she was like, yeah, like this amazing woman, Teresa, like, I would be happy to introduce you. So then she actually connected me with her mentor. And then me and then this woman like actually ended up building this really great relationship and I really looked up to her in a lot of ways. One, you can actually ask your friends who their mentors are and kind of share resources that way. And then, then two, having mentors in different orgs is also very important because they have a different perspective and they have a different understanding of the company than someone who's necessarily

Starting point is 00:20:24 in the exact same org as you. And they can also sort of be your sponsor and speak to your skills from in a different context and in a different way than someone who actually works directly with you. I think a really practical takeaway from this conversation about mentorship and allyship is like one, reach out to people, like be very intentional about like building relationships. I think it's something that can often, you know, go by the wayside if you're not thinking about it all the time. So I think being intentional and something that I appreciate, I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. But when I've mentored people and when I go into like a relationship where I'm the

Starting point is 00:21:01 mentee, I think coming in with a very explicit agenda of what you want to talk about and also what you want to get out of, you know, the 30 minute coffee conversation. I've gone in and been like these are the three things I want to talk about. Like, is that cool with you? Because I think it shows that you've put a lot of thought into it. And you're trying to make the most of the time with the mentor. So you really respect their time. You're not going in and be like, so like, what are you watching on Netflix? I've literally had a mentee mentorship conversation where someone asked me like, what are you watching on TV these days? And I'm like, this is what you want to get out of the conversation with me? Like maybe, but I'm like, I don't really feel like I'm helping you in the best way that I would feel

Starting point is 00:21:41 most fulfilled in helping you, you know? Like I can help with so many other things. Like it was just odd that I felt like they hadn't really put as much effort into, you know, teeing up the conversation, thinking about what they wanted to get out of it as much as they could have. And that wasn't really fulfilling for me to help out. On the mentor side, when someone comes in and they have a very specific sort of agenda in a good way and you feel you can sense that they've done sort of like research ahead of time and they are very directive in their asks and their conversation, then you're kind of more willing to open up your own network more and open up and offer more of your own resources because then you're like, oh, this person has their shit together. They are really goal oriented.

Starting point is 00:22:26 They're ambitious. They like actually want to do XYZ. So I know if I introduce them to this other friend of mine, they're not going to waste that person's time. They're going to follow up. They're going to utilize and respect their time as much as they have for me. I love to introduce people to other people so that they could have like more resources and like follow on conversations, but not if I felt like you didn't really, you know, put the time into the conversation with me. So the fourth and final scale we're going to talk about is negotiation and influence. Gene, could you describe this a little bit more and how it takes place in the workplace? Yeah. So I think negotiation and influence is sort of the pinnacle or the like final step, the final boss, if you've done all these other things correctly

Starting point is 00:23:12 because you're not going to have a successful sort of negotiation and influence experience if you haven't been listening, if you haven't been building up your network and you, if you haven't been able to express yourself well and have executive presence. I think a big part of going into negotiation and having influence is basically knowing what your skills are and knowing what you provide for other people and then also really understanding what everyone else has in terms of their sort of resources, if that makes sense. One example that comes to mind for me is that I remember when I worked at Snap, there's this one time where at the last minute, me and my coworker Jeff were pulled in to do a massive presentation

Starting point is 00:23:57 where we had to sort of fly from L.A. to New York to do this presentation sort of at the last minute to some sort of executive team. And I was personally worried more about the actual, not the content of the presentation, but actually like putting the presentation together, physically making all the slides at the last minute with such little heads up. And then what I realized when talking to Jeff is that he actually had sort of a team beneath him that was really, really good at making presentations. So he was like, oh yeah, I'm not worried about that at all. I have this team. And they can make the presentation for us, but as long as you have the content, and then I can sort of, you know, work together with you on the content. I guess it's important to know what resources

Starting point is 00:24:39 other people have so that you can then work together. And it's not so much negotiating and influence, but it's more so collaborating and producing. No, I mean, I took a class at Stanford on negotiation actually. Okay. That was taught by one of my professors who was like Michelle Gelfand, who's written books about this, studies this, but you're actually talking about, oh my gosh, I can't even remember the name of the concept, but there's like a concept where like one plus one equals two and then one plus one equals like five. Yeah. Where like you actually find out when you're negotiating, you want different things and you're

Starting point is 00:25:17 able to make it all happen because your top priority is not in conflict with another person's top priority. There's like a really special negotiation concept that talks about it. If you guys are both fighting for like a zero sum game, that's when negotiations can get really tough and ugly. But like if you are negotiating with someone, understanding what their concerns are, what their wants and needs are. And if they are like perfectly fit like a puzzle piece, that's like the best situation where everyone can potentially win. Yeah. And I think calling it negotiation is a little bit dramatic because yes, there are times in the workplace where you are going to be negotiating. But I

Starting point is 00:25:57 think it's more so you think about it not so as negotiating but working together to try to find a solution that is the best outcome for all parties involved is that negotiating yeah it is yeah i guess i think every conversation is a negotiation yeah but it just negotiating it sounds very it just sounds very adversarial which in reality it's not right so in this situation both jeff and i wanted to do a really good job and we wanted to you know crush this presentation even though we had to do it all at the last minute. I think mostly we were aligned or we found a way to align our goals. I don't know. I guess it could have been like I wanted to be the start of the presentation or he wanted to be the start of the presentation, but that wasn't the case. We were just like, let's do this together and

Starting point is 00:26:41 do a really good job together. It's information gathering. It's having those conversations because a lot of the times, oh, the perfect example. This is now I'm remembering in the negotiations class. It's okay, you and your friend Sally have an orange only one orange how do you split it between you and Sally so the way where it's a zero sum game and you don't have enough information you cut the orange directly in half and you get half of the orange and Sally gets the other half of the orange that's I mean a really easy and simplified way to do it no one actually really wins when you talk to Sally and you have a conversation you information gather she wants the peel for from the orange because she wants to use it for like a dessert that she's making. You in the negotiation

Starting point is 00:27:29 want the juice from the orange because you want to make orange juice. When you have that symbiosis and the puzzle piece come together, you and Sally can both win because she can have the orange peel and you can have the orange peel. She can have 100% of the orange peel. Yeah. And you can have 100% of the juice. As opposed to 50-50 where no one really gets what they're looking for. Right. So instead of both ending up with half, you both end up with 100%. Do you like that example? Yeah. I took this negotiations class.

Starting point is 00:27:57 It's really coming in handy in this podcast episode. That's a cool example. Right? There's a name for this concept. I'll look it up and I'll put it on the screen. But I think so many of the times we don't know what the other party is looking for and we go in assuming it is a zero-sum game. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:12 Assuming that it's adversarial. But most of the time it's not. Most of the time it's not. Yeah. It really isn't because like, especially if you're negotiating with your boss on compensating. maybe you want higher salary and they can give that to you or you know but like you guys should talk about bonus because maybe there's more wiggle room there you know what I mean like if you don't know what the author party is going for then like you yeah kind of don't create the best situation

Starting point is 00:28:36 for yourself yeah or like another way of putting it is that if you're going into that negotiation both of you want to keep you at the company for the long term and both of you want you to you know succeed at the company and like take on more work and be an even better version of what you are So like starting from there, how do you then fill in all the other pieces? Right. Okay. So I think we can wrap this section up with a really quick three-step influence framework. The first one is to research the collaborator or opponent, however you want to call it, and understand what their goals are.

Starting point is 00:29:06 What are their KPIs or key performance indicators or what are their motives, essentially? Then two, think about what you want and figure out how to frame it in a way that also helps them achieve their goals. goals. And then three, once you actually head into the conversation and you present your proposal, be ready to make sort of tradeoffs and be ready to kind of come up with creative solutions so that you can share what your goals are. And then you can make those goals be two halves of the peel and the orange juice and try to, you know, reach that outcome together. After hearing these four different skills, like, don't be afraid, don't be scared of them. I know it can sound like a lot. But honestly, like, you don't have to do all of these at the same time if you're just getting started.

Starting point is 00:29:53 I think just focusing on one, being very intentional about it and working on that specific skill can help you get started so it doesn't seem as intimidating. Yeah. And the other thing I want to say is that the two of us gave examples that are mostly in finance and tech, because that's the majority of our working experience. But these skills can be applied to any role and any sector, whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or you work. in a non-tech field or if you're, you know, a CEO at your own company. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:25 If nothing else, I think like just watching this episode through, you can get a better sense of some of the tactics that people use in the workplace. So you can just be more aware of like what's going on because a lot of these things are like the unsaid, you know, things of the workplace that like people don't really talk about explicitly unless like you learned it from a family or a mentor or a parent that like kind of understands the inner workings of the professional world where Gene and I didn't really have that. And we had to learn it ourselves and then also kind of seek out mentors who could teach it to us. Yeah. And now that you know these things, you might start noticing them, whereas you didn't

Starting point is 00:31:04 notice them before or the next beating you go into, take a look and see where each person is sitting and why. We'd love to hear from you in the comments. Have you tried these tactics? Have you seen it in the workplace. And I do want to address the maybe feeling of ick after, you know, hearing these tactics like, like it's so, you know, manipulative, it's so rehearsed. I just want to say that this is kind of the reality of the workplace these days. And like I don't think there should be like a frame of judgment. I think people have like a natural reaction to things feeling very political at work. But I think that is the modern American corporate workplace. There's a professor at Stanford GSP named Jeffrey Pfeffer who wrote a really famous book called

Starting point is 00:31:52 Power or Paths to Power. And he talks specifically about this. And if this is the framework that we're working in, how do we play within the rules and the confines of that framework? And if you do want to make a change and be like, it shouldn't be like this in the workplace. I think like you're only able to affect change once you are in a position of power. if you actually understand the landscape that you're working with it. You can't make a change if you don't even understand what's going on around you and whatever else is doing and why. And for me, the feeling of ick goes away or you don't have the feeling of ick when you feel like I really believe in what I'm trying to do. Right. Like I believe that what I'm trying to do is the right thing. It's the best thing for the business or it's the best thing for my team. And I have a strong belief in my mission and my goals. And so these,

Starting point is 00:32:42 are the tactics that I need to use in order to achieve my goal, which I have strong belief in. So that's kind of like, I think the other way to think about it if you're thinking, if you're feeling like weird about the topic. Well, also like within these confines, like what do you feel comfortable doing and what do you not feel comfortable doing? I think that really goes hand in hand and like falls back on your own values because I think there are people that I've seen who take the politics of the workplace and they take it too far from my comfort level and I get icked out by that and I'm like that is so Machiavellian I would have

Starting point is 00:33:18 never done that like what are you know then then my judgment sets in and I'm like I hate this person but like there are ways that I've found that I can do it in a way that I feel authentically myself and I've seen leaders do it in their own authentic way where I respect them more not less because of it we'd love to hear from you guys what are your biggest challenges when it comes to these sort of soft skills is it speaking up in meetings is it getting mentors is it building allies um yeah i'd just i'd love to hear from you and then we can do more content on it thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode of the tiger sisters please remember to like comment and subscribe and if you enjoy this episode please share it with a friend who might like it as well we'll see you next time bye Hey everyone, quick break to share something special. Sisters Macha. We've launched limited batches of ceremonial grade, single estate, single cultivar,

Starting point is 00:34:12 Macha, straight from the family farm Shri worked on in Japan. It's pure, authentic, and crafted with intention. Head to SistersMacha.com to grab yours before it sells out. Make Macha your daily ritual for lasting energy and focus.

Tiger Sisters - Power & Influence 101: office politics playbook from Harvard & Stanford MBAs

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Tiger Sisters - Power & Influence 101: office politics playbook from Harvard & Stanford MBAs