Tiger Sisters - Run Your Love Life Like a CEO: 5 Frameworks For Dating

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

If you led your love life like a business, you’d never settle again. In this episode of Tiger Sisters, we break down five powerful frameworks to help you date with clarity, confidence, and intention.... From setting boundaries to building emotional equity, it’s time to make relationship decisions that truly help you grow.We share: ✅ The truth about invisible labor and mixed signals✅ Chemistry vs. compatibility and how to tell quickly ✅ Emotional equity — what balanced effort looks like ✅ Clean deal terms & boundary scripts that stick ✅ 3-question Litmus Test to stop over-giving yourself 🐯👯‍♀️ We’re the Tiger Sisters — Your Wall Street & Silicon Valley big sistersDecoding Money • Power • Love✨ New episodes every Monday | Shorts all week ✨Today’s episode is sponsored by:💰Square: Run your business smarter! Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/tigersisters  #squarepod✨OneSkin: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code TIGERSISTERS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.oneskin.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ #oneskinpod💌 Want to partner with us? Sponsorships: partnerships@tigersisters.co⏰ Timestamps0:00 Introduction0:29 Framework #1: The CEO Shift1:17 How women take on invisible labor3:12 Carrying the emotional load in relationships5:40 Mini Exercise: One way that I'm shrinking myself6:07 Framework #2: Emotional Due Diligence9:14 Ask better questions11:09 Mini Exercise: How do they handle discomfort?13:24 Ad Break: Square14:04 Framework #3: Patterns Over Potential19:19 Mini Exercise: Write down your relationship patterns19:41 Framework #4: Define Your Deal Terms21:00 Mini Exercise: Write your non-negotiables22:48 Ad Break: OneSkin23:58 Framework #5: Emotional Equity25:12 Litmus Test29:10 Three steps to repair your relationship30:50 Power Move for this week👀 Newsletter: https://cherieluo.substack.com/Why trust us?▫️ Cherie Brooke Luo – 100M+ views demystifying big tech, finance & MBAs▫️ Jean Luo – ex-Goldman, ex-Snapchat exec, 50+ AI patents, startup investor▫️ Together: 4 Ivy degrees • built billion-dollar products • two startups — decoded for youWhat you’ll get (and keep):▫️ 🚀 Ivy League cheat sheets – no $250K tuition required▫️ Personal finance playbooks – salary jumps, investing, money psychology▫️ Networking scripts – behind $100M+ deals, job offers & VC intros▫️ Real talk with unicorn founders, VCs, and billionaires▫️ Mindset resets – clarity minus the pricey life coach▫️ Fashion, wellness, and productivity hacks that actually work💛 LET'S CONNECT:~ CHERIE ~🤳🏻 Instagram – / cherie.brooke📱 TikTok – / cherie.brooke✍🏻 Substack – cherieluo.substack.com👩🏻‍💻 LinkedIn – / cherie-luo~ JEAN ~🤳🏻 Instagram – / jeanluo_👩🏻‍💻 LinkedIn – / jeanluo👉 Hit Subscribe & tap the 🔔, then WRITE A REVIEW and rate us ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ on Spotify & Apple Podcasts!Share this with someone who deserves to be seen as a leader.🎵 Music: Sammy Signal – https://open.spotify.com/artist/2HsyknHuxhT8RoZfn5rqMS?si=XcHuYyhdTTSkVxGYSet12g🛍️ Items: 🍵 Sisters Matcha – www.sistersmatcha.com🌀 Everything else – https://amzn.to/3z0dx5b

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Let's be real. If a business partner missed deadlines went dark for days and just came back with excuses, you would end the deal. But in dating, too many high-performing women let it slide. Overgiving to someone who isn't showing up. Today, we're giving you the five frameworks to raise your standards. So you stop over-functioning and over-giving and start acting like the CEO of your own life. Today, we're breaking down five powerful frameworks to help you stop over-functioning in love. to start dating with the clarity, confidence, and standards of a CEO. No more chasing, no more guesswork, and no more settling for half relationships.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Or situationships. True. If you're done being the one who ignores all the red flags, plans every single date, and holds the emotional load on your own, this is your wake-up call. So stick around. We are going to give you a three-question litmus test that can save you months, maybe even years of emotional burnout. And hands-on exercises so you can rewrite your dating deal terms, boldly, clearly, and without apology.
Starting point is 00:01:11 We're going to start with Framework 1, the CEO shift. This is important because it's more than just confidence. It's flipping the script and stopping yourself from overgiving in relationships. Because I feel like as kids, we are conditioned to make ourselves likable and like we're conditioned to also try and please everyone. Yeah, to make other people feel comfortable. We need to stop doing that. A lot of the times we carry what we've learned in childhood into adulthood, and that can be really dangerous and just like not good.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Yeah, so there's actually this 2021 McKinsey study that showed that women take on invisible labor, whether it's at work or it's at home. It's something where, you know, you're the one who's smoothing over conflicts. You're the one who's doing the little things to make sure that people are just happy. Yeah. Like I think in the office, especially if you work in a. male-dominated environment. So many times the woman on the team, especially if you're the only woman on the team, you'll be asked or tasked to plan a lot of the social events. Yeah, you'll be
Starting point is 00:02:15 voluntold. Yeah, voluntold, which is like volunteered, but you don't have a choice. You have to plan the outing or the happy hour on Fridays for everyone else. And that's emotional labor and also physical labor that you aren't recognized for. Yeah. It was even, I remember, um, my first job out of school when I was an analyst at Goldman. It was even worse because, yes, I had to do that. And then also every week we had this investment committee where we would have to compile an entire book of all of the memos that we had written that we were going to review investment committee. It was like, you know, hundreds of pages. And every week, for whatever reason, I was the one that was asked to do it. And it's actually a lot of work. To compile it.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Yeah, to compile it. And I wasn't the only analyst. There were multiple analysts. The rest were all men, but I was the one that was asked to do it. Because its secretary were. Yeah. But I didn't realize at the time. And also, you're too scared if you're just an analyst to say no. You would never say no. I mean, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Maybe I should have. That was physical labor. Like, like, printing things out, stapling things. It was also emotional labor because I was terrified that I would do it wrong. Yeah. And then you would get blamed for it. Because also doing, there's no upside. Doing those, like, those tasks that someone has to do it, but it sucks when you're
Starting point is 00:03:30 the woman and you have to do it. Yes. And people look to you to do it. And it doesn't help you with promotion. Exactly. It's the type of thing that you have to be conscientious to do it correctly. But you can never excel at the task. Yeah. You could only just do it right or you can fuck it up. Yeah. So it's annoying at work. This happens a lot at work, but this can also happen subconsciously in your romantic life. So let's dive into it. So have you ever caught yourself doing that in dating, like doing all the emotional labor? Basically doing the deal memos. of your relationship. That's so ick to like put it that way.
Starting point is 00:04:05 But I think yeah, especially early on in a relationship when I feel really excited about someone, there can be a lot of chemistry and momentum. Sometimes I'm showing up for someone who hasn't even like proven that they've shown up for me or even chosen me just yet. Yeah. I can think of an example too where my example is pulling from if you've been in a relationship where you, you know, in a heterosexual relationship on my part where I was living with a man and we were basically, for all intents and purposes, we were like married, like living
Starting point is 00:04:36 as if we were married. A lot of times when you have responsibilities as a couple, like let's say you're going to a wedding or you're going to somebody's birthday party, the woman is often the one that is responsible for the gift. The gift. And even if the person who's wedding it is, you like barely even know them and they are, you know, the college friend of your partner, your self. You're still the one that is, if the gift doesn't show up, you're the one that kind of is going to take the blame. Or like, it looks bad on you. It reflects badly on you, not on the other, not on the other person. Yeah. And I've caught myself doing that in dating, like completely throwing myself into a relationship and showing up for someone fully who hasn't even decided that they want to show up for me.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Exactly. That's like basically waiting for a deal that's never going to happen. Yes, because a CEO doesn't just sit on the sidelines. They're in charge. They make the high. They make the decisions and they move things forward. And in dating, that means getting clear on what you want and not putting your whole life on the line for someone else's uncertainty. And with that in mind, it's time for our mini exercise. Our first one. Ask yourself, what is one way that I'm shrinking myself in dating or in a relationship
Starting point is 00:05:51 that I would just never, ever tolerate in business? And then next, flip it. Ask yourself, what would my CEO self, my CEO mindset? What would that person do? So once you've made that shift, the next step is to figure out somebody's emotional capacity. And that's where the second framework comes in. It's emotional due diligence. This is one of my favorite frameworks. So due diligence is a business term where in investing, you basically do all of the research that you need to do to feel comfortable with either buying the company or investing in it. So that's looking at the finances, looking at the leadership,
Starting point is 00:06:27 looking at pretty much all of the elements. Yeah, getting into all the history of the business, whether you're in venture capital or private equity, because you want to make a good and informed investment. You don't want to buy a company or invest in a company and then three months later figure out, you know, there are some skeletons in the closet that you can't reverse. You can't.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Yeah, I've been there. Go about that. So like the whole point is how do you do this due diligence up front if you are getting serious about someone and you're dating. So in dating, that would be like looking at somebody's communication style, looking at their dating history, looking at how they handle commitment, all before you actually get into a long-term relationship.
Starting point is 00:07:10 I think in dating, a lot of this is subconscious or it's not something you're doing very intentionally because like dating, I think is supposed to feel fun and romantic and flirty. And when you're just getting into something, there's like a lot of chemistry there. but like these are like the less sexy things to think about it's like what are your values so like it's it's not like the fun stuff potentially but it's like the deeply deeply important stuff that if you skip over it you're like way in the deep end and you're like gosh I really wish we talked about
Starting point is 00:07:44 xyz beforehand or we at least had a conversation about these really important topics before I felt so deeply about someone and we just haven't talked about this enter you're important thing here in this blank space. To me, I think one of the most important things where you're like enter that, you know, fill in the blank. Yeah. Is being able to have both parties in a relationship be committed to repairing things when things aren't going right. There's actually this really famous study at the Gottman Institute that says that's one of like the strongest predictors of a successful relationship. Basic terms, it's like do we fight well? You know, do we fight fair and do we fight well? And you can only really know that if you get into a fight or like an argument with someone and see how you guys
Starting point is 00:08:28 communicate or maybe lack of communication and then how do you guys make up yes is the making up it's like actually like moving past the fight like you can have a disagreement you can disagree on many many things it's basically how do you how do you bridge the gap in the disagreement and how do you move forward and still be able to have a successful relationship despite the disagreement repair isn't about being perfect. It's about making the effort every time. And that's why due diligence isn't just about asking the right questions. It's about watching their behavior. How do people handle both the good times, which are very easy and fun to handle? But also more importantly, the bad times, which are going to be shitty. And how does someone handle or respond to the bad times?
Starting point is 00:09:14 That's the important thing. Yeah. And one way to kind of try to suss this out is to ask better questions on dates. So instead of asking, you know, the obvious questions, like, what do you do, blah, blah, blah, you should also ask questions that are like, what happened with your last breakup? How do you handle conflicts and relationships? How did you solve the last problem that you had with your significant other? Yeah. These, these questions will really bring a lot of things to light. Sometimes I get a little bit nervous asking those questions. It's more like the timing of it. Like, when do you ask those questions? Like, do you bring up their X on the first date? Obviously, it's like when does it come up naturally?
Starting point is 00:09:51 And sometimes I'm like, I make it a little joke out of it. I'm like, I'm nosy. I want to know. I'm just like, so what happened to your last relationship? What did it end? But I think it's important. And like you can figure out like what the vibe is of the date, whether it's date one or day three or date five.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Yeah. But I think you're just much better served for yourself to like know these things. And then also you get to see how they speak about their ex. How do they talk about their friends or their family? family. Like these questions, they show you more about what that person values. Right. And even more important part of it is to watch what they do. So basically, do their actions match what they say? In my early 20s, I was so charmed by what guys were saying. And I was like easily convinced by like all their like words of affirmation and like those promises of like what they would do. But when like there's no action to
Starting point is 00:10:48 back it up. I'm like, now that I'm in my 30s, she just turned 30. Now that I'm in my 30s, it's much more about actions. And I'm like, okay, you say this thing, now show me. It's about behavior and consistent action and less about words. Your words mean nothing. Without the consistent action to back it up. That's true. Okay, so let's get to the mini exercise. So in this mini exercise, think about the person that you're dating. How do they handle discomfort? How do they handle things going wrong. How do they handle mistakes? And then track yourself too. You have to be a little bit introspective. Do you feel calm with them? Or when you're with them, do you feel like you're on edge? Yeah. I have an example that is exactly related to this. And it's like, I don't know, it seems like such
Starting point is 00:11:36 a silly little example, but it really stands out in my head, which is that one of the people I was dating recently, he was like, oh, let's go on a tennis date. So he was like, I was like, okay, sure. I assumed he was going to plan it. And I think he had like, didn't book the court and thought we were going to just go onto one of these courts, but it was a really busy time. So we got on it. And then somebody was like, oh, actually, I booked this court and then was trying to like kick us off, but they weren't going to use it right away. Anyway, he actually got like kind of upset about it and sort of like, I could tell he was upset and sort of had an attitude. And so then towards that person or towards you?
Starting point is 00:12:17 No, like towards that, towards the situation. Yeah. And so then I felt really uncomfortable. And then I was then trying to sort of like make him feel better even though, I don't know, even though like he fucked up. Like so then I was like trying to resolve the situation. And looking back on it, I was like, that's so lame. That's not a fun date. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:39 And then here I was trying to like make him feel better on this date that he was the one that proposed it. and he just didn't really follow through on actually what seems to be like a very simple task. That's that unpaid emotional labor you were doing. Yes, exactly, exactly. And that's why I think it's so important to actually watch someone's behavior because that's a really common trap that we see, dating someone for their potential rather than their patterns. And we'll get into that right after this break.
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Starting point is 00:14:10 slash go slash tiger sisters. That's SQU-A-R-E dot com slash go slash tiger sisters. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. All right, and we're back. So now let's get into framework number three, which is patterns over potential. So I think one of the easiest traps to fall into, especially as a woman, is dating somebody's potential, especially if you are a high achieving woman and you are maybe naturally drawn to projects. would you identify as such? I mean, I've never said that out loud. I'm like not like I want to work on someone, but it's fun.
Starting point is 00:14:48 I think just like there's something in my mind where it's like fun to grow with someone. Yes. And especially if you're young in your 20s, you guys have like similar timelines and trajectories. It's really fun to like grow with someone in a new location at work. And like you can just prop each other up in that way. But I think it can become a little bit toxic. if it's not reciprocal.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Oh, totally. In my early 20s, I was dating someone who I was really, really excited about, but then for like a few years we were like on and then off. And I realized I was more excited about their potential of what they could be than who they actually were in that moment. And it really backfired. Yeah, I think I've done something very similar. And I think what can happen, especially as the relationship,
Starting point is 00:15:39 gets more serious is that a lot of times you can sort of lose yourself in that role where if you really, really care about and even love the other person, you are so invested in their success that I think a lot of times you subconsciously or unconsciously put yourself on the back burner. I think that that happened for me. It's not even like you blame the other person because they're not necessarily asking you to do that for them. But like you said before, if they just are not naturally reciprocating the same amount of effort that you're putting in to sort of, you know, help them achieve their goals and move them along, then it's naturally going to happen. Yeah. Even if they're not, you know, they're not like a malicious person or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Yeah. And I think also women tend to be very nurturing. That's why they end up taking on the emotional unpaid labor. And then that that's sort of kind of like emotional high that can blur your judgment. And then you can spend months, even years, waiting for someone to turn into your imagined version of them. Yeah. And I think like bringing it back to like the CEO or like the investor mindset, like when you're a CEO or investor, like you want to have such clarity on like what you want, what you're looking for and a plan. And honestly like KPIs. Like by this milestone, it should. should be in a certain way. And then maybe by the next milestone, we should see certain progress. Because I think what's dangerous in like romance and love, because we're not as like intentional
Starting point is 00:17:14 or like on it or like planning in that way, like things just kind of oftentimes slip into complacency. And so we're not as diligent. And that goes back to your original point of making sure that their actions reflect what they say they'll do. Because a strong connection without consistent follow through, that's a marketing campaign. And make sure you also look at your own patterns too. Like figure out who are you personally drawn to? Like is it, you know, the tech bro. Is it the PE finance guy who, you know, promises a lot of stuff but then never follows through and doesn't give you the time that you deserve? Like you have to go through your own actions and behaviors too to figure out how you can do better. Yeah. And sometimes you need a
Starting point is 00:18:02 break your own patterns. Yeah. If you recognize that your, your pattern is not serving you. Ask yourself if your choices in the past actually lead to you feeling fulfilled. Yeah. This actually reminds me of one of the first episodes we ever filmed, which was, I think we called it Dating 101, where remember we were talking about the bachelor and we were the bachelorette and we were looking at certain patterns and I apparently, I have two types. My one type, that I'm attracted to is a stoic hot guy. And the second type of person that I am attracted to is like the charismatic, like the complete opposite, like the charismatic funny guy who's like the center of attention.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Yeah. So it was just kind of interesting to seeing. And like I've dated the other type, the second type is not worked out well. So like, you know, seeing your patterns and behaviors and what leads to your happiness. And yeah. So. an internal audit. Okay, this is perfect time for a mini exercise.
Starting point is 00:19:07 So the mini exercise, step one, write down your last two or three relationship patterns. And so this could either be a dynamic pattern where it's like, I'm the one that's always in caretaker mode, or I'm the one that's always doing things. Or it could be an attraction pattern where you're like, I'm the one that's always attracted to P.E. guys. The tech bro. And then ask yourself, what? were some of the early signs there and what did I ignore? If those same patterns keep showing up,
Starting point is 00:19:36 then it's time to set clearer terms. So that's where we go to framework number four. Define your deal terms. Basically, your deal terms are your non-negotiables. These are the things that you need to feel safe and supported. Yeah, and I think a lot of women don't want to do this because they don't want to seem high maintenance because there's for some reason a societal bias against the term high maintenance, but it's not being high maintenance. It's actually just setting your filters so that you can be more successful in the future. Yeah, it saves you from wasting your time and then also the person that you're seeing their time as well. I also think it's really difficult to expect someone to meet your terms if you haven't created the terms yourself or set it out loud or written it
Starting point is 00:20:22 down yourself. They're not supposed to read your mind, right? Because if you don't even know, how are they supposed to know. So this is the part where you have to take some accountability on yourself and set your non-negotiables. Write it down, say it out loud. Like it doesn't have to be something that you share publicly, but like at least you spend some time thinking about what your non-negotiables are and then like write it down. So for example, like a non-negotiable for yourself or actually for myself, like one would be like I only want to date someone who takes accountability in the relationship or I want to date someone who plans like this many dates. because that's like what I need to feel happy and supported in a relationship.
Starting point is 00:20:59 And that's okay. Like there's no shame in saying what you need in a relationship, at least to yourself. Well, actually, that's the perfect thing to do for our mini exercise. Because our mini exercise is to think about what are two to three non-negotiables that you have for the other person in a relationship with you and write them down. Next, pick one boundary that you've broken yourself in the past and commit to keeping it next time. Yeah. I think one non-negotiable that I've realized is that I need to be picked up from the airport. It's not like every single, like, I'm reasonable.
Starting point is 00:21:35 If something's going on, if you have a work meeting, obviously you don't, like, I understand. But I think it's one way that I feel really loved. It's like an active service because that's just like what I'm also used to in my family and also like something that I do to show my love too. And so I think it's really important to be picked up from the airport if they have the time. If they're just like sitting at home waiting for me to Uber home, I think that's pretty lame. Unless it's LAX at a 10 p.m. on a Sunday night because then it's really, really busy. But even then, like I think that's like showing a lot of effort and that they care.
Starting point is 00:22:08 And that has become a non-negotiable in my relationship where I think in the past, like I was kind of like afraid to ask people for that, even though I wanted it. And it meant a lot to me. It's even more important at LAX because you have to go to LAX it unless you get a black cab. I mean, a black Uber. Exactly. And it's really important to do the mini exercise because if someone can't meet your terms, that's not a failure.
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Starting point is 00:24:06 being perfect. So it's thinking about in the course of your relationship, are both people putting in the effort to make things work, to make plans, to solve problems together? Or is one person doing all the heavy lifting while the other person coasts? I love this framework. It's actually my favorite, it because I don't feel like it's talked about enough. And I want to bring up this really important 2023 Pew study that says that most women in heterosexual relationships report carrying two and a half times more emotional labor than men.
Starting point is 00:24:38 This is the unpaid emotional labor that we were talking about earlier. And 65% of them report feeling overwhelmed. If you're managing the plans and smoothing over the conflict and doing that all by yourself, that is unpaid emotional labor. So we have actually a really good litmus test for seeing if this is true. So there's three things. One, after a date, do you feel more like yourself or do you feel less like yourself? I think that's a really good one. Second one is, are you trying to get their attention or are you asking yourself, do they deserve my attention?
Starting point is 00:25:13 Third one is if you stopped initiating, like you stopped texting and saying like, hey, how's it going, blah, blah, blah, would the connection just die? off or would it deepen? Yeah. I like this litmus test because I think it's applicable to like friendships as well, like all relationships and especially romantic ones. Yeah. Because if it's just one-sided for a very long time, that's unsustainable. I also like the litmus test, the fact that has three parts to it because I kind of feel like you need to pass all three in order to get a good answer because a lot of times sometimes you can date someone who's like super fun and you have amazing dates and after the date you feel so yourself, but they're not keeping up the communication and deepening the relationship outside of just these like super fun dates. Right? So like you need to
Starting point is 00:26:03 you need to look at all three elements of this litmus test. It's not just like a one, you can't just pass one and you know keep going. Yeah. It's like pretty, it's like a holistic view of a person. Yeah. And then finally with the litmus test, I think it's also about like noticing if there is an imbalance. Because once you notice the imbalance, it's not about just like walking away or calling it quits. It's about creating a change that you feel happy with. And I really like the second question of asking if they deserve your attention.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Because like what other, I guess it's just like the most valuable resource that you have. Your time, your energy, your effort, your love, like putting that into someone. Your emotions. your emotions, like that's actually a really big deal. It's huge. Yeah. And I think we don't stop to think about that. Like if you're not, if you're not putting that time into that person, like what else would
Starting point is 00:27:00 you be doing? You'd be putting it into yourself. Yeah. You'd be growing yourself, right? So the opportunity cost of that of giving someone your attention is actually pretty high. Yeah. And also making the wrong decision, like marrying the wrong person or someone who at the end of the day or, you know, at the end of the relationship, like, causes more emotional strife
Starting point is 00:27:23 than emotional connection is, like, a huge burden that, like, yes, you can overcome. There are things you can do. Right. Like, you'll get over anything. You can do it. But, like, it's just so stressful. It's really stressful if you make the wrong decision, especially if you weren't thinking it through and, like, going through the litmus test and the frameworks that we're talking
Starting point is 00:27:42 through now, like, it creates a much bigger headache down the road. And we want to save you from that headache. Yeah. And I like that point because it's like looking at the word attention, it can mean many things, right? It can be positive attention that you're giving that makes you feel more energized and uplifted. Or it could be that you're like ruminating on things that this person is doing. Even if you're not actively interacting with them, you can be giving attention and thought and energy and like being like, wait, why did they do this? Why didn't they message me? It's living in your head rent free. Yeah. Also who you end up marrying is. if you want to get married, like that is the most important decision that you'll make in your life. It affects everything. Like something that I love that you say, Gene, is actually like the person who you marry, you are having the most number of meals with them for the rest of your life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Like they are your meal companion. And obviously it affects your finances. It affects your family. It affects, like, if you want to have children. Like, it affects everybody. It is the most important decision that you'll make. So do these litmus tests and do them early if you can. Okay, so this entire episode, you know, we're giving you frameworks and mental models to think through.
Starting point is 00:28:52 If you're in a relationship right now and you're noticing some, you know, beige flags or red flags, that doesn't mean you have to end the relationship tomorrow. That's not what we're saying at all. We're actually giving you ways right now so how you can repair and move forward. Yeah, it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. It just means there's ways that you can work together, but it requires commitment. and it requires work. So here's how you do it.
Starting point is 00:29:19 There are three steps. The first is to track it. So for one week, take stock of all the emotional laborer that you take on. The next step is to talk about it, bring it up with your partner, and use eye statements. So you could say something like, I have been noticing that I've been making most of the plans. I would love if we could share in that effort. I've been noticing that I've been buying all the wedding gifts for your friends. Could we share in that responsibility?
Starting point is 00:29:48 And the third is to make a request, not a demand. Give them a chance to step up and see what their response is after you give them the feedback. Right. And a real partner will want to co-create with you. A mismatch will either resist or they'll deflect. So either way, you're going to get your answer. Okay, now we're going to wrap up this episode. Gene, can you remind us what are the five frameworks?
Starting point is 00:30:13 Yeah, okay. So there are five frameworks to conducting your life. love life like a CEO. So the first one is shift from proving to choosing. The second one is to practice emotional due diligence. Third one is trust consistent behavior over potential. The fourth one is to define your deal terms. And the fifth and the last one is to build emotional equity through shared effort. And it's really important to realize that this episode isn't just about dating. It's about self-worth, power, and confidence, and going into a relationship from a place of clarity, not scarcity. So your power move this week is to make one decision using these frameworks,
Starting point is 00:30:56 whether it's ending a misaligned relationship or actually taking the time to write down all of your terms of what you actually want. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode of the Tiger Sisters. Please remember to like, comment, and subscribe. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who needs to hear this. You can find it all in the episode description below. We'll see you next time. Bye!

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