Tiger Sisters - Stop hating your body (and yourself)

Starting point is 00:00:00 We're finally going to talk about the thing we've been avoiding. How to not hate your body or yourself. In this episode, we're going to be talking about our health and wellness journey, our relationship with our own body, working out, and how to live healthy and wealthy lives. We've gotten a ton of inbound questions about this very topic. So we decided to finally bite the bullet and make this a bonus episode for season three. I'm Sheree. I'm Gene. And where are the tie?

Starting point is 00:00:30 Tiger Sisters. This is season three of Tiger Sisters and Gene and I are interviewing incredible guests, as you may have seen. It's founders, investors, and CEOs. And the interviews are actually amazing. Go check it out. Every other week, Gina and I are doing some bonus episodes where we talk about more of our personal lives and how to weave that into our professional lives.

Starting point is 00:01:05 And we'll get started right after this break. Hey guys, quick break to let you know that we now have merch on SistersMacha. We have sweatshirts and t-shirts that we designed yourselves. Go check it out. And please rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. These ratings are so important for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters Podcast. Thank you for your support. Welcome back and we're going to kick it off by reading one of the questions that we received in our mailbag about this topic.

Starting point is 00:01:31 Uchik says, could you do do a video on body positivity, your health routine, diet and working out? It'd be so helpful to learn how to just love our own bodies and stay healthy from YouTube. great question and we had a lot of other other great questions similar to this so the way that I think about it is that I think your relationship with your body and the way that you kind of walk through life in your body is comprised of three elements so the first one is genetics which we can't control the second one is your upbringing which you can't really control either but you can do things to sort of mitigate or continue good behaviors from your upbringing and the last part that you can control is your everyday routine

Starting point is 00:02:11 whether it's your eating habits or your workout routines. So we're just going to talk a little bit more about the environment that we grew up in, how we think about our habits, our bodies. And then towards the end of this episode, we're going to give really actionable advice about how to get your body into the healthiest and wealthiest place that it's been and things that you can really walk away and implement right after this video. Hey, everyone, quick break to share something special, Sisters Macha. We've launched limited batches of ceremonial grade, single estate,

Starting point is 00:02:41 single cultivar macha straight from the family farm shri worked on in japan it's pure authentic and crafted with intention head to sisters matcha dot com to grab yours before it sells out make macha your daily ritual for lasting energy and focus so i can start by talking a little bit about my journey and my sort of experience with food and working out growing up so i think we were lucky in that our mom never pressured us in terms of weight or how we looked and we were really able to kind of grow up just eating healthily and conveniently yeah yeah conveniently not always as healthy as possible I think we ate a lot of processed food because a lot of like microwave dinners yes a ton but I never worried about my weight growing up and I never it was never a thought I kind of just ate

Starting point is 00:03:29 anything I wanted and I think also we were blessed with pretty healthy metabolisms and just generally we ate healthy and reasonable amounts but then I think all of that actually changed when I went to college for the first time because then when you go to college, I was pretty much every day for lunch eating a full panini. And then for dinner, I would eat like a huge sushi roll. And then I had unlimited access to desserts, which we never ate growing up. Yeah, we didn't really have like desserts or like sweet treats growing up. Yeah, except for orange juice. Yeah, I drank a lot of orange juice. That was our sweet treat. Seriously. But, and fruit. And we ate fruit. That was our dessert. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:11 that's just kind of like more about your upbringing that's you know the household that you grow up in and like the food that you're surrounded by yeah so then once i went to college i kind of went crazy oh and i was eating these egg mc muffins every day for breakfast which were so delicious so so so good but then after you know a couple semesters i was like wait why am i like kind of fat right now who's you gained weight yeah yeah i was like what happened what's what's going on and i didn't realize, I didn't even realize that my eating patterns had changed so drastically from how I had been eating growing up my entire life. So then it kind of put me in a little bit of a tailspin and then I went very strict and I went very kind of restrictive. And that was when I started actually for the first

Starting point is 00:04:56 time ever in my life, counting calories and writing down all the foods that I ate every day and weighing myself every day. So that was really the first time that I encountered, I guess, kind of not a more restrictive relationship with food. And that was, that was kind of jarring. Interesting. I guess you and I have never talked about this. Is that like a, did you have an eating disorder? Not an eating disorder, I would say, but I do, I personally think that a lot of women have disordered eating. Because that's not normal necessarily. to count every calorie. Or just to be more obsessive about it.

Starting point is 00:05:37 Yeah. Yeah. That's true. We just think it's normal because diet culture is so popularized. Yeah. Right. But it's basically the reason you do it is to sort of fit yourself into, to look a certain way to adhere to a specific ideal. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:56 I actually, I got fat. I had a fat, period. I gained a lot of weight in high school, actually. my junior year and then also in college my sophomore year and it was because every day my junior year I started eating sandwiches at school so the same thing yes but I didn't realize it actually and you probably didn't realize it either because I didn't really eat like bread we don't have bread at home we had rice was our rice was our main carb that we had for dinner we had croissants we had croissant but like every day for lunch I'm not kidding this is like really serious like every day for lunch my

Starting point is 00:06:33 junior year for about like a few months I would just have a sandwich and it made me gain like 15 to 20 pounds and I wasn't very active at that point kind of sandwich like a large sandwich like a peanut butter and large sandwich no it was like it was like it was just a sandwich with like salami so 20 pounds yeah 15 to 20 pounds and not look that way but I will I I I could tell the difference especially in my face but like especially this happened in the winter months At school, when I didn't have as much activity going on, as opposed to like spring and fall, I did sports. And so I gained a lot of weight then. I was able to lose the weight because instead of having sandwiches, I just switched to salads every day for lunch.

Starting point is 00:07:18 And there were filling salads with like tuna fish or vegetable salad, like vegetable salad on top of the salad. And that, and I just dropped weight like that by eating healthier and just cutting like sandwiches out. This was high school or college? High school. This was high school. And the college is a whole other thing. especially with drinking, all the habits around drinking, late night eating. I think that really messed with everything in my body, not sleeping.

Starting point is 00:07:44 It was just a really hard time. And I also gained a lot of weight then. But I knew from my high school days that I was just like, okay, I need to start having salads more. And I need to start exercising more. So I was able to diagnose and kind of get out of that. Yeah. I mean, if only it could be as simple as just eat salads, because I will say the counterpoint to that. is that when I was working at Goldman, my first job out of school, literally all I ate were salads,

Starting point is 00:08:10 because what we would do is when you stay late, you order food, you have a per diem. Right. So I would order from this place that was called just salad, literally called just salad. And all they made were these salads that honestly, they were pretty, they were like disgusting, but they were kind of good. Is it like chopped? Yes. It's just like chopped.

Starting point is 00:08:26 I love that. I love that sounds. So they were just all chopped salads and they give you a tiny piece of bread that was this big. Yeah. Like ficccia or something. So my per diem would cover two salads. So I would order two salads. I would have one for dinner.

Starting point is 00:08:39 And then I would have one for lunch the next day because I didn't have to leave my desk and go to the cafeteria. Yeah. And I could just, you know, crank and work more. But all I ate were salads and I still gained weight because I never moved. Even though I will say. And poor sleep. Yes, terrible sleep. So this is to share a little bit of the lore of the old Goldman days.

Starting point is 00:09:01 This was back when I was working at 200. West, which is in Tribeca near Wall Street. And they designed that building so that you never have to leave. You never have to leave. Because we had, you know, obviously we had an office. We had the cafeteria. We also had a doctor's office. So I would go from a 9 a.m. Investment Committee meeting to a. 10 a.m. Papsmere. And then be back at my desk in time for our 11 a.m. client meeting with Vesco. That's so invasive. So you never had to leave. And also my point is, there also was a gym. So they made the gym as easy as possible. They literally, did I ever tell you this? They gave, they had gray t-shirts. So anyone could just wear, you can go and you could wear the t-shirts.

Starting point is 00:09:50 And then they had shorts and socks for you. So all you had to bring was sneakers. And then you could just wear the uniform, the workout uniform of Coleman Sachs. And then after you wear it, you throw it back in the hamper and it's they launder it yeah and there were workout classes etc but my point is even though i was participating in all that and going to workout classes going to the spin classes where they made you wear a heart rate monitor and you compete against people at work yeah wow it was very it's like a like a parody of itself um but even though i was doing all that I still gained weight and I was so unhealthy because if you're working 90 to 100 hours, you're just not moving. Yeah, especially at your desk.

Starting point is 00:10:36 And like going to the gym for a 45 minute workout every day does not compensate for that. That's true. And when you're only sleeping, you know, four or five hours a night for years, multiple years on end. And then on the weekends, you are kind of crazed. So you're like, I need to go out. I need to socialize with people. I need to feel like I have a life. So then you just go out and party.

Starting point is 00:10:58 Yeah. And then drink until the wee hours. of the morning. So a lot of it also just goes to say is about lifestyle in general. And I think a lot of it is determined by your work, where you live, and who your friends are and what sort of activities you do with them. It's interesting. I mean, your per diem, like you did spend it on salad, which is like good. Literally just salad. But then also people, I know people don't always spend it on salad. They like can spend it on like, you know, Chinese food or Thai food or like Italian food. Like like you chose the healthy option. What are you saying about Chinese food? It's greasy.

Starting point is 00:11:34 It can be greasy. You know, like especially if you eat that every single night. Take out. Yeah. Take out Chinese food. Not at home. No, no, take out Chinese food. Not home made. Why are you trying to start a fight right now? I'm just making a point that like like when you, a lot of people just do take out food when they get a per diem and it's not the healthiest, right? Like you're getting a euro every night. for dinner or something. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I was trying my best already on the diet fraud, but what you could control. Yeah, but even that wasn't enough. And I think also generally, probably all of us were so internally inflamed and just so... Oh, yeah. Inflammation. ...that we're carrying around inflammation weight. Whatever that technically means scientifically, I'm not sure, but I'm just, I just feel that that was true. Yeah. I mean, it also goes to just,

Starting point is 00:12:22 it goes to show it's like food, so diet, exercise, sleep. It's like not, there's not like a one, you know, like silver bullet. It's like a combination of so many different things that create a healthy lifestyle. And also in our lives, we've like, sometimes all of them are great. Sometimes none of them are great. Sometimes one of them is great. Yeah. And I think the most important thing is to be able to find some version of a routine that fits your life today that you can keep going as a routine. And having like a lot of intentionality with it. Like the three that I named, I would say like the fourth is like stress, like amount of stress in your life, the cortisol in your body, whether it's from work or family,

Starting point is 00:13:05 whatever is causing you stress. Like it's sometimes up and sometimes it's down. So I think it's trying to look through each of those pillars of health and figure out which one do I want to work on right now. How can I set an intention? Because I think it's really hard. If all of them are like really shitty right now, it's hard to tackle all of them at once. Yeah. So one at a time. I think. Yeah. And also, I think the answer that you come up with for what is my routine for each of these areas, it doesn't have to be the same for your entire life, right? It has to be something that works for you where you are. So sustainable. Yeah. I remember my, when I was at Goldman, my, my associate, Alexander Cochran, who's, wow, name dropped right now. Who's great. Love him.

Starting point is 00:13:53 but he tried to do this like fitness kick and he would go to soul cycle which was all the rage obviously in 2010 and it was right across the street from Goldman no no coincidence there but he was doing soul cycle two a days oh my god but it only lasted for a week right because it's not sustainable I mean those don't work like the ones where you're just like crazed about it and like that's not a long-term solution in fact I think it'll burn you out that's how burnout happens. Yeah. And so for me, looking back on it now, I kind of sort of assessing my own time, those two years at Goldman, I don't know if I could have done any better. Honestly, I was kind of just trying to survive. Yeah. Right. And that's totally fair. Yeah. And so that was kind of how my body

Starting point is 00:14:41 reacted to that very grueling time. And I kind of think I just did the best I could. But then when I moved to a different environment, when I started working at Zinga, then I had a little bit more control over my schedule, I guess. And that was when I started running almost every morning before work. So I would go into work. We had a gym. And I would change into my workout clothes. I would run outside. I would do a couple miles, come back, shower, and then go up, get breakfast in the cafeteria.

Starting point is 00:15:17 We were spoiled. A la tech life. Yeah, a tech life. We were very spoiled. And then bring it up to my desk and eat breakfast and work. So, yeah, it's, I guess also don't be so hard on yourself. If you're in a time, a part, if you're in a time in your life when you just feel like I could not possibly do any better. Sometimes that is true.

Starting point is 00:15:43 I need to work within your, your bounds. Yeah. I think, I mean, I do this meditation. like many times a week. It's one on Spotify. And it's like the first thing it starts out is the mantra is like, I'm doing the best I can every day. And if you truly believe that's where you're at, then like, what else do you have to give?

Starting point is 00:16:02 You know what I mean? If you're doing, you're trying your best. And your best, you know, sometimes it's up here. Sometimes it's down here relative to each other. But things happen. Life happens, babes. Yeah. So it's fine.

Starting point is 00:16:14 Yeah. And this is coming from someone who I will say I have tried different. it, I don't know if you want to call it a fad diet, but back in the early 2010s, juice cleanses were very popular. Do you remember that? Yes. Okay. I was alive.

Starting point is 00:16:33 Okay. I was sentient. But you didn't have access to them. No, because I was in 10th grade and I didn't have money. So how did you know about juice cleanses? I know their thing. And there are also, people do them now too. Like press juice.

Starting point is 00:16:44 You can buy a set of stuff and do a juice cleanse. One of my old bosses, Eric, was into intermittent fasting and also juices and all that stuff too. Yeah. So my friends and I, or my coworkers who were also my friends, we would occasionally, every few months, we would commit to doing a juice cleanse together. Is it not eating for a certain period of time and just drinking juice? Yeah, you just drink juice for X period of days. So we would either do it, I think we usually do it for three days. We're just actually pretty freaking long. I feel like that's not good for you. It's probably not good for you. I'm not saying it's good for you. I'm not saying it's good for you. you, I'm just saying this is what we did to try to reset.

Starting point is 00:17:20 Nothing in this episode is medical advice. So we did it to try to sort of reset our relationship with food, which actually, to be honest, does kind of work. Yeah. Because after a while, you get so used to the act of eating that you sort of forget what it's like to be hungry. So those juice cleanses made me so hungry. And then afterwards, I sort of ate less because I was more remembered that I had to wait to

Starting point is 00:17:46 be hungry. It's mindful eating. It was, yeah, you're being more mindful. To mindful eating. Yeah. But also, we just kind of took it too much to the extreme because I remember one day it was the last day of my juice cleanse. I had one day left, but we were flying to, we were flying to Colorado to go skiing and veil in Aspen. And I didn't want to not, sorry, to veil it in Beaver Creek and I didn't want to not finish my juice cleanse. So I packed all my bottles of juice juices into my ski bag and then I got there and even though we were skiing I was still doing the juice cleanse and looking back on that now that was so dumb that's so dumb that was dumb did you faint no I didn't faint on the mountain but I would have fainted I like I can't even I like can't

Starting point is 00:18:31 skip meals yeah well I would supplement my juice cleanse sometimes if I was too hungry by drinking almond milk I allowed myself additional almond milk but this is just to give you guys some insight into I do think that at times my relationship with food was disordered. You know? Yeah. You don't really ever think about it that way because you're just so focused on the goal of being like, oh, I want to get back to this weight or I want to look a certain way and feel my best that you do these really unnatural things. Like bring six glass bottles of juice cleanses to avail. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:12 Yeah, I have never had an extreme relationship with food or my body in that way. I've had times where I like gained a lot of weight, but I've always felt like in control knowing that like my weight and my relationship with stuff fluctuates. And I know that things don't change over at night. Like I think a lot of the times and since I've never had kind of like a bad relationship, with it. Like what I can imagine is that people might purge or not eat food because they think they can change something or gain control overnight. But I've always for some reason understood that I'm like, this takes weeks and months to like show progress. So like whenever I feel bad and I do feel bad

Starting point is 00:20:01 sometimes about my body, I don't always feel great about it. I'm like, okay, I need to start going to the gym more consistently. And especially this year, I've created a challenge for myself, which I basically gamified it where I'm like, I am trying to go to the gym 30 days in a row, which is really hard. I've gotten to 10 days in a row and then I need a reset because then I missed a day. But the thing is, this challenge is not to punish myself. This challenge is so that I can try and go as many days as possible. And I'm so proud that I went 10 days in a row. I've never done that before in my life. Like even though I didn't hit the goal of 30 days, I am still like exceeding a new personal record every single time.

Starting point is 00:20:43 And I think it just pushes me to continue going. I just thought of something. I actually lied. I did have a bad relationship with working out during the pandemic. Pandemi? The pandemic. The Panini? I'm sometimes a little hard on myself.

Starting point is 00:21:02 So there's just one story where during the pandemic, I had a Peloton. And I was really upset with it myself. whenever I went on the Peloton and I didn't break a personal record. But she didn't have a lot going on those days. She really needed something to focus on. Right. And so like because I was so focused on trying to break a personal record every single time I got on the bike.

Starting point is 00:21:26 That's insane. It's insane. It's like totally. That's unhealthy like relationship with it. I recognize that. That I would like it would inhibit me from gutting on the bike. If I woke up like on the wrong side of the bed or I was just like I don't feel 100%. I'm not going to work out today because I don't even want to like try.

Starting point is 00:21:42 Oh my gosh. Isn't that so extreme? So yes, that is, I can be extreme like that, which is why with this 30 day workout challenge, I'm trying to be nicer to myself and be like, I didn't make it to 30. I made it to 10. It's okay. We'll keep the goal is to go consistently. And now I feel the most consistent I've ever been.

Starting point is 00:22:00 Kudos. Congratulations. Thank you. A question. Why can't you bake in some of a, flexibility into your 30 days. Why can you say 30 days, but I get to take, you know, five days off at some point in those 30 days because that would be reasonable. Because I'm not a flexible person. And then you could actually reach the 30 days because I feel like it's fine if you feel

Starting point is 00:22:29 positive about hitting the 10 days, but I feel like 30 days in a row is kind of impossible unless you're literally a bodybuilder. It's quite impossible because also Gene and I travel a lot. So there are days where, like, I can't hit the gym or, but I don't know, maybe that's an excuse. Like, if I do fly or, like, on a day, like, I could go out and, like, walk or run for a mile. Like, that's not the end. Like, you know, I could do that. Okay. So don't hurt your back.

Starting point is 00:22:52 Well, my back pain. It's gone now and hopefully it stays gone. But it may have been because she wore it to the gym 10 days in a row and played golf in sub-zero, I mean, sub-freezing temperatures. Yeah, I am a little bit intense. So I take back that I don't have problems because sometimes I create problems for myself. I could bake in some more flexibility, but I am not a very flexible or a forgiving person to myself sometimes. And I do go a bit more extreme. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:25 I like right now I like this goal. I think I should be open for it to change. Like it gives me something to strive for. And if I'm not like that upset that I miss it, then I think it's fine. I think as long as the goal still allows you to feel successful. Yes. Even if you don't actually reach it, then it's fine. Yes.

Starting point is 00:23:44 You seem to feel positive. I do. As opposed to the Peloton goal, that was like weird and insane. Yeah. That was not good at all. I recognize that. Yeah. I was like, I can't even work out today because I don't feel good because I'm not going to reach a personal record.

Starting point is 00:23:58 That was intense. That's weird. Yeah. It's weird. Um, I will say, I do think my. relationship with my body has evolved and changed over time in that well one i've stopped weighing myself every day partially because my scale ran out of batteries but that was like a year ago or something and i haven't gone out of my way to replace it yeah i try not to weigh myself anymore yeah and i think i think for me

Starting point is 00:24:28 the reason why i'm okay with it is because i have a better sense of my own body now whereas before i I was relying on this external metric, which was the scale and the metric, literally, the numbers that showed up on the scale to tell me if I was doing a good job and to tell me if I felt good, right? So the way that I would feel from day to day would depend on what numbers showed up on the scale. So that was a little bit, it was me kind of trying to take control of something versus now I can sort of, I have a better understanding of my own body, I think, and I can and say to myself, oh, I feel good today. I feel strong.

Starting point is 00:25:10 I feel lean and thin and I feel and look good versus sometimes I don't. And then also I think I'm also more aware of the fluctuations of season to season and day to day. So I used to try to stick very strictly to my goal weight, which doesn't really make sense from season to season. Now I'm more comfortable with a winter weight and a summer wait for the first time ever, which I'd never ever allowed myself to have that concept of, whereas I was just always trying to be my summer weight all year long. But I think in reality, there has to be a winter weight, the way that you move around, the way that how much light there is available in the day. Yeah. Yeah,

Starting point is 00:25:58 it's different. So you can't have the same exact goal. Yeah. Without changing your activity. or eating habits drastically in the winter as opposed to what you would naturally do in the summer. So I guess I'm saying that I've become more flexible and forgiving, quote unquote, of myself versus back when I had just really rigid and flexible expectations of my own body that were very numbers and metrics driven as opposed to more qualitative. and intuition and intuition driven yeah yes yeah something i love one of your best friends does this she buys clothes in two sizes who she goes to reformation oh she goes to reformation oh she goes to reformation god i told you that so if i tell you that or i told you that she told me that you

Starting point is 00:26:55 told me that yeah so if i had the uh expendable income to do this for all my clothes. I would. Yes. But like it's so smart. And if you have the expendable income, you should totally do this, is that if you find something that you love, a dress or whatever, buy it in two sizes, the size that you're now wearing and the one that's up or down from where you could be. Yes. You know, that does remind me. I have also kind of done that a little bit too, where now I'm more comfortable with buying pants that are a bigger number than what I used to be for different times in the year or even like different parts of your cycle true right so I used to be so fixated on oh I am a 26 so I'm going to get the 26 even when sometimes you just feel better or you

Starting point is 00:27:48 look better in the 27 or 28 or whatever so that was also kind of an evolution for me I guess I didn't realize that my approach had evolved so much until upon reflection for this episode. You guys are getting the live learnings. Yeah. But I also think part of it is that now I'm more in control of my time. And so I know that I can definitely go work out consistently without having too many external things that would prevent control your time. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:27 Yeah. or I'm able to make it happen. So, and like the workouts are suited to me. Mm-hmm. Versus before I was trying to do really crazy hit workouts all the time, which I think are just not suited to my body. I literally can't do hit. Like, I don't know. Kudos to people who do high intensity interval.

Starting point is 00:28:48 But you used to do berries, right? Workouts. I used to do berries, but then, but it wasn't like, I couldn't, it wasn't good for me. I would feel nauseous and I would feel very lightheaded. Yeah. And like I felt like I was going to throw up. Like it like hit is not good for me. Yeah. I used to do berries too. Yeah. I think everyone like pushes themselves to like do berries. I think it's really intense. I'm like out on berries. I've had like phases where I've gone very consistently. Love the berry smoothies afterwards. Oh, they are so good. The music is really loud. So I always wear ear plugs. I'm like that person who's wearing ear plugs at berries. And also there's like, I don't know, 25, 30 people in a room and no individual attention from. the instructor so that like you're lifting these like heavy weights and like you could really injure yourself I feel like I don't know and it's also really dark too oh I like the darkness I feel like I'm in a club yeah I mean I think that's what people like about it it feels like you're

Starting point is 00:29:42 at a party that you're working out but I don't know I'm out on berries I've been going consistently to the gym but my confession is that going to the gym is one of the hardest parts of my day it always has been. So like I love how I feel after, um, after the gym, after working out. But getting there, like if I could like lay in bed and sleep, lay in bed and scroll, like I will. Like I know I'm just like super drawn to that. And so like I like to go to the gym first thing in the morning because I like to get the hardest part of my day done first. And that's my way to really lock in the gym time. otherwise if I don't go early in the morning and it's like 5 p.m. I will put it off and I'll be like, I'm not going to go. I just feel lazy. And I can, I know I feel like that. So I love going early in

Starting point is 00:30:33 the morning first thing. They say do the hardest thing first in your day. Some people, it might be, you know, work career stuff for me. It's literally going the gym. And I've also like talked to people too. They're like, I love how it feels to be at the gym. I love working out. I love that feeling of the push and the sweat. That's not me. Like I like how I feel afterwards, but it's not so much the activity itself. So I think that's like a really interesting distinction because I feel like I often give off vibes where I'm like, I'm such a workout girly. I'm like sometimes, but like not all the time. So want to clear the air there. Yeah. I think that reminds me of I'm just the concept of being able to find what works for you. Because when Sheree goes to the job,

Starting point is 00:31:19 gym, oftentimes she does a workout set that she just does it on her own. She has like a self-directed workout, which nowadays I almost never do a self-directed workout. Pretty much every time I went to the gym, I'm doing a gym class. And for me, it's very, very, very, very helpful to have that appointment mechanic, to have a class that I've already signed up for and I can't miss otherwise I get a strike or whatever because that forces me to go to the gym. That's the phase I'm in now. But, you know, in previous times when I was working, I would go to the do my workout in the morning before work because then it was, you know, baked into the routine there. So I think it's just all about finding what works for you and what you can do that is repeatable. And it does take some

Starting point is 00:32:06 experimentation. It's not like you just would automatically find something right away and it works right away. And sometimes it's, I think also accepting that it could be a different thing than before. because I used to run three, four, five, six miles a day, which is crazy to me now because I never run anymore. But that used to be my primary workout of choice. Yeah. I think like it's okay that working out happens in different phases of your life. Like I used to be really into like half marathons as well, really into running.

Starting point is 00:32:40 But I think everyone also like kind of has a running phase. Some people stick with it. Yeah. But it's also helpful. If you guys have, I remember there's a time where I hadn't run more than three miles before in my life. Same. Which is like so insane. Like I don't know.

Starting point is 00:32:54 It's like I feel like a normal thing to be able to run three miles. But then I haven't done that now in a long time. But it's interesting to sign up for a half marathon or even a 5K, a 12K because then you have these milestones in your head and you have to, you know, gradually work up to it. So I've had a phase where I've done a couple of half marathons. And I'm really proud of that. Yeah. I'm very, very proud. It is a good.

Starting point is 00:33:18 I've used half marathons as a forcing function to basically scare myself into working out consistently because I don't want to just, you know, die on the day. And injure yourself. Yeah. And it has worked multiple times until it got to the point where I kind of was like, well, I've done enough half marathon. I think I can do it. And I just didn't work as a forcing mechanism anymore.

Starting point is 00:33:42 And then I basically winged it the day. the half marathon. And I survived, but I would not recommend it. Oh my God. If you need a training plan, if you're going to do a half marathon, don't just, I mean, if you don't work out regularly. Yeah. Yeah. It is also a very fun thing to do with your friends, to sign up for something for a half marathon or some sort of race with your friends. So you hold each other accountable and you can meet each other's workout buddies or training buddies. And then that takes me to the point where that I made earlier that a lot of times some of the components of, you know, your relationship with working out and eating and movement is about where you live and who your friends are and what your friends

Starting point is 00:34:23 do. Who you surround yourself. Right. So when I was living in New York, all we did was the thing to do is go out and drink and eat, whether it's brunch, drinks, dinner, pre-durn drinks, post-dner drinks, et cetera. Yeah. That was just what people did. versus when I lived in San Francisco or even living in L.A.

Starting point is 00:34:42 I think these are much more daytime cities. Yes. And it's much more normal to do an activity with your friend and say, hey, let's go for a hike together. Or a bike or a walk or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love S.F. for that reason.

Starting point is 00:34:54 It is such an active city. And not as much drinking, which I'm also a fan of. I've been like drinking way, way less. And yeah, I don't know, it's nice to be surrounded by people who are also active. Because when I felt like when I was in New York, even if I wanted to be active, it's like people like, oh, you want to go for a hike? Shouldn't we just go get brunch? Like there's less people who are interested in doing said activity. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:25 So I guess wherever you live, one thing you can try to control for is finding more people who do want to do these activities with these. you as a form of hanging out. Like a pickleball league or like, you know, they have these like if you're, you know, out of school or whatever, like there are these like groups that you can join, especially like new grad leagues and stuff like that. Yeah. I did join a dodge ball league. That was a mistake.

Starting point is 00:35:55 I will not be doing that again in San Francisco. I thought you hated dodge ball. I hated, I do hate dodge ball. She's a very traumatic dodgeball story. I do hate dodgeball. I joined for the social element and didn't really enjoy the sport. But it was good to like see people and hang out with them. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:14 So anyways, there are like leads that you can join. Did you have a lunchback to third grade? I did. I did not enjoy the sport itself. But I would be down to join like a pickleball league now, like an actual like recurring thing. I'm going on a pickleball date tonight. crossover with our dating episode. So,

Starting point is 00:36:37 I just had to bring it up. Just had to bring it up. I'm like only a little bit excited about it. Does the date include anything aside from pickleball? I'm not sure. I mean, I'm assuming there's going to be a dinner after. Yeah. Like a casual dinner or something.

Starting point is 00:36:54 Yeah, yeah. Maybe we'll get something to eat afterwards. But I'm excited. I think it's really fun to do active dates with people. Yeah, I agree. especially because we like to. I love pickleball. And it's kind of fun, like, having a pickleball partner.

Starting point is 00:37:08 Because then you can see if you have pickleball chemistry. Like how you guys... What, how you guys... I get what you mean. I got what you mean. I played pickleball a lot with my ex, too. Oh? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:20 Pickleball and tennis at Stanford. Mm-hmm. And so it's like really... Wow, must be nice. Sounds like she lived on a resort and was a retiree. Well, it was fun because, like, once you have a pickleball partner, or you guys can like, there's like banter. You guys like talk to me one another.

Starting point is 00:37:36 There's communication. And usually the people that I play with are much better than me. And I'm like good, but like people I play just much better than me. So they can kind of like coach me. And I'm like really, I like improving and being challenged in that way. Same same. And so that's why I think this pickleball date, I hope this person is good. If not.

Starting point is 00:37:54 Off with his head. I'm just kidding. That's a joke. Yeah. Back to the bench warmer condition. But yes, yeah, I like to play tennis. That's a thing, I guess. We can cut that.

Starting point is 00:38:13 Okay. So the last topic I want to talk about is about diet. And it's something that Gene and I are doing and something you can do too if you find it interesting. So I watched a documentary on a Delta Flight. It's like a master class on gut health. Gut health is all the rage right now. basically this documentary is just like what you eat is so important for everything in your body for all the functions it helps control your sleep it helps it controls your attention all this stuff is controlled by your gut that's like you know the newest hottest thesis that people are working on yeah and so the thinking is that your gut microbiome it has a bunch of good bacteria and it needs to feed on a really diverse set of foods and so So people should target 40 different fruits and vegetables, legumes and nuts.

Starting point is 00:39:08 Like all these different whole foods should be in your body so that your gut microbiome can respond to it and have different things feed it. This is Shri's new platform. She's like been talking about this a lot. This is not sponsored. I don't know who would sponsor her. Big fruit. Big veggie. Send me strawberries.

Starting point is 00:39:28 This is not how much. And avocado. This is, this is giving. Michelle Obama. Because her her campaign was about moving. Was it? No, I thought it was about, like she did the garden.

Starting point is 00:39:40 Oh, yeah, yeah. It was about both. Anti-obesity, no? Yes, yes. Okay. Was that Melania's as well? No, Melania's was be best. No anti-bull.

Starting point is 00:39:49 It was anti-bullying. Anti-Isternet bullying. I can't even say that with a straight face. Hello? Hello? Hello? Be best, though. I like my school.

Starting point is 00:40:02 suitcase. I like my suitcase. I like my suitcase. Oh, it's so good. So anyways, 40 fruits and veggies. It's really hard to do. But again, I like to set stretch goals, I guess, and see if I can reach them. Yeah, as long as you're not upset when you don't reach them, because that's the difference between me and Shri's mindset. As you guys know, I make that annual list of goals for myself, but it is called 36 things to do while I'm 36, but I actually make it a list of 70 items so that if I hit 36, then I reach 100%. So that's what I need to feel successful. Our ratios are a little different.

Starting point is 00:40:42 It's relative, you know? That's what I need to feel successful. No, I'm just glad. Well, sis, the thing is, like, I'm just glad I'm just trying my best. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, yeah. So sometimes, like, I've hit 40. We've hit 40 because I do a lot of the cooking in our house.

Starting point is 00:40:58 We hit 40 for a couple of weeks. But then sometimes then it was just like, oh, damn, this week is really hard. no grocery shopping. Yeah. We're like at 30. I don't know. Like it's fine. But like I'm just trying my best.

Starting point is 00:41:11 And it's actually just so good to be just more intentional about what we're eating in terms of whole foods. Yeah. Otherwise, I feel like I love processed foods. Y'all big processed foods. You did such a good job with like wiring how our brain works and what we crave. We ate a lot of hot pockets. Oh my God. Just say.

Starting point is 00:41:30 Like the hot pockets, salapeno poppers. Halapeno Poppers wait hot pockets which was they had a really good flavor of like pepperoni pizza yes and also there's like a morning hot pocket you like open it up and put it in the sleeve and then put it in the microwave was um broccoli cheddar was it no no there was one that I had a ham and cheese that I had that house they came up yeah but we but we grew up our mom was a single mom so a lot of microwavable foods I also had a lot of TV dinners, which I actually loved. Like, it was interesting because it was like meatloaf. It was like meatloaf and red sauce with green beans and mashed potatoes because we don't have that in our house.

Starting point is 00:42:12 Yeah, we only ate Asian food. We only ate Chinese food. Growing up. Growing up. Homemade Chinese food. So, like, whenever I could have, like, American food, I was just like meatloaf. And we didn't know that it was bad. But it didn't taste that bad, honestly, because they put so much, you know, they manufacture it so that it tastes good.

Starting point is 00:42:30 Wait, I thought it tasted really. It was like meatloaf and gravy and mashed potatoes. Yeah. Yeah. But they put all the chemicals and preserved it to make sure it tastes good. That's the whole point of it. Yes, exactly. So I guess, but we turned out fine for now.

Starting point is 00:42:45 We don't know how many microplastics we have in us still. So many microplastics. But I guess the point is that like Gene and I are just like, we're very human about it. You know, like we're very fallible. Like we have, we try our best to have our routines. work out, eat healthy. We put these systems into place to try and have like guardrails because if we don't, like I know I'm not going to be eating the healthiest. That's a good way of, that's a good way of describing it systems and guardrails and frameworks of like how to think through things. Because if I

Starting point is 00:43:16 didn't have 40 fruits and veggies, I'd be like la-di-da. Like I wouldn't be as mindful about it. And so I think it's honestly less about punishing ourselves for not doing it, but just being more intentional and thoughtful. Mine's all about punishing. I'm just kidding. No, mine is about, I think it's about feeling good in your body and just feeling strong and healthy and happy day to day. Mine is about forgiving myself and loving myself. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:49 And also, just to say, not to be totally obtuse, right? The reason, at least for me, partially the reason why I do it is because I'm vain. like no not going to try to obfuscate that at all yeah i want to look good i think i look better at a certain weight um i also feel better too yeah i feel better yeah when i feel like i'm muscular and lean and when i can climb stairs without losing breath i actually love feeling healthy the new mantra that i've developed over the last few years is strong not skinny i actually have it written right over there. Do you see it on that? Oh yes, I do. It says Shiree is strong campaign, right? Yeah. Shari is strong and the word skinny is cut is crossed out. It's not for me,

Starting point is 00:44:41 it's no longer about being skinny. It's about being strong and feeling strong. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's that's all I had on the topic for now. But I guess we just wanted to share with you guys. We're not experts in health and nutrition and fitness or anything like that. I have no science. Yeah, this is just our lived experience and more than a few people asked and we want to be helpful and kind of share with you our struggles to get to where we got today and how we figured out what works for us, which again has changed over time. So I think, yeah, back to the idea of a lot of it is about experimentation and finding something that works for your routine and your lifestyle, knowing that that can change over time. Absolutely. And whatever situation you're in today, you could always change it for the better. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:45:29 My takeaway here is that as long as you're trying your best for the situation that you're in, that's all you can do. And also you're the captain of your own ship. I don't expect changes. I don't expect changes to happen overnight. And it's about consistency over time, going to gym consistently over time, you know, eating healthy over time. I don't expect, even if I feel like shit today, I know that if I do one thing today, it's not going to change by tomorrow. it's a delayed timeline. And so it's just being consistent and building habits that you can stick with.

Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. And that you need to have a strong foothold in each of the pillars of diet or, you know, nutrition, exercise, and sleep. Because as we learned for my just salad experiment of two years of only eating just salad, literally, diet alone will not help you get there. We'll not, you know, allow you to fully get there. Yeah. I mean, we didn't even really touch on sleep, but I think asleep and or like controlling stress,

Starting point is 00:46:31 that could be a future episode if you guys are interested in that. My eternal struggle. Jean's biggest enemy is herself when it comes to sleep. That's true, as in the last few years. Yes. Well, thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode of the Tiger Sisters. Please remember to like, comment, and subscribe. And if you found this episode helpful, we'd so appreciate it.

Starting point is 00:46:55 share it with a friend. Thanks. See you. Bye.

Tiger Sisters - Stop hating your body (and yourself)

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