Tiger Sisters - The best investment is your mental health (our most vulnerable conversation yet)

Starting point is 00:00:00 If you're ambitious, a go-border like us, you're probably type A. But what got you here to this part of your life won't necessarily get you to the next level. In this episode of the Tiger Sisters, we're going to be talking about mental well-being. In our last episode, we talked about physical health, which includes diet and exercise. But in this episode, we're really going to be focusing on mental health, therapy, spiritual health, and mantras. These are arguably just as important as the physical health aspect. I'm Sherey, I'm Gene, and we're the Tiger Sisters. This is season three of Tiger Sisters, where we've been interviewing entrepreneurs,

Starting point is 00:00:53 CEOs, and investors. And this is the last one of our bonus episodes that we're doing, where we're talking about things that are not purely professional, but all the other aspects of your life to build a healthy, wealthy, joyful life. and we'll be right back. We'll dive right in right after this. Hey guys, quick break to let you know that we now have merch on sisters matcha.com. We have sweatshirts and t-shirts that we designed yourselves. Go check it out. And please rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Starting point is 00:01:23 These ratings are so important for the distribution and survival of Tiger Sisters Podcast. Thank you for your support. Welcome back. We're going to get started and dive right into the first topic, which is therapy. So, Shereid, do you want to? to kick us off. Maybe tell us about your relationship with therapy today over time and kind of how you got to where you are today. Yes. I will attribute so much of my mental well-being today to the therapy and the work that I've done in the past. I first started therapy in college, so maybe my

Starting point is 00:01:59 sophomore year, I've only gone to like the free services that a lot of colleges offer. You can speak to like a therapist or a professional on campus and they give you certain number of those. I was having a hard time in college. I did that my sophomore year, maybe like one or two times. And then my senior year, I was going through a breakup. And so it was like, I need to seek help. And if it's a free service on campus, I'm going to do it. And so that was my introduction. And I didn't really do it that many times or that consistently. It's kind of like, you know, a need basis at school. but I really returned to therapy in 2019 when I was a full-time, you know, out-of-school, new grad. And at that time, surprise, surprise, I was going through a breakup or, you know, a turbulent time in a romantic relationship.

Starting point is 00:02:46 And I found a therapist that was absolutely transformative because I went in, my presenting problem was, you know, something on the romantic dating side. But, you know, for the next year, I went consistently. And we dove into so many other topics that I felt like I didn't even know needed to be aired out, but needed to be aired out, which includes upbringing, family, career, just everything. And you don't work on. Psychosies. Like, you don't work on it all at the same time, but like you kind of build a relationship with your therapist. And I am who I am today because of the work that I put in at that time. Wow.

Starting point is 00:03:25 Yeah. That's a strong statement. Oh, yeah. I owe a lot to my therapist. And it's so important to find the right person who you can develop a trusting relationship with because people talk about therapist dating, which basically means that when you're first starting out and seeking therapy, you won't necessarily click with every therapist that you talk to. You want to find the right person who will understand you.

Starting point is 00:03:56 and your background and there are different specialties of therapy as well. Yeah, and I think also different therapists have different demeanors, right? They have different lived experiences themselves. So sometimes they can relate directly to what you're saying and sometimes they can't. Sometimes it's helpful. Sometimes it's actually not helpful that they can relate directly. For my own experience, I also started therapy in college and I have been in therapy pretty much consistently ever since then. There have been times when I've been on and off,

Starting point is 00:04:31 like there have been a few years where I switched jobs or switched insurances and then you have to kind of go through the rigmarole of finding a therapist again. So annoying. And that is a huge burden. Yeah. It is, it is quite difficult to be honest. And it's like a very annoying task to do. But, but yeah, I've been seeing a therapist pretty consistently. And I think it has made a huge, difference in helping me to become the person I am today, not saying that I am perfect in any way or, you know, a super evolved human, but just being able to move through life, having a lot more, I think, tools, mental tools, not just, you know, physical strength, but mental strength and sort of mechanisms. But on the dating part, I remember the therapist,

Starting point is 00:05:25 part when I was in college, one of the first therapists that I saw that was assigned to me. This was back when if you guys saw the last episode when we were talking about physical wellness, in college I went through about a time where I was just really unhappy with my body because I was eating the paninis and the egg sandwiches every day and the desserts. And the desserts. And the dinners. Didn't realize that that would lead to gaining weight, per se. So, yeah, I was really uncomfortable in my own body.

Starting point is 00:05:56 And I remember my therapist was this wonderful woman who was sort of obese. So I actually didn't feel comfortable saying to her, hey, like, I feel unhappy about myself because I feel fat. Because I felt like that was then a judgment on her. Like, I felt like bad saying that to her. So then after a few of those sessions, I was like, this is not working. Like I can't talk about the thing, you know, my own blocker, but I can't talk about the thing that is causing me mental distress. So I need to switch and find someone else. So that's like a very, wow, that's very thoughtful of you as a person in college to have the wherewithal to like kind of being like I'm struggling with this, but I don't feel like I can tell you because you might be struggling with this.

Starting point is 00:06:45 That's like, you know, another one that you're deeper. I just felt like you'd be rude. I was like probably like a size like four or something. And for me to be like, oh, like, I feel so fast. Like, I just felt like, dynast problematic. But, well, I think that also goes to say, too, there's like, there have been times in my life where I've had women therapists and then also men therapists. So it's an interesting dynamic. I can't say which is better and that it obviously depends for each person. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:15 What they prefer. But it's another interesting factor to consider. Yes. So for me, I think I've found the optimal type of person for me. Oh. I don't know if this is too. Just don't name them. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:07:30 I won't name them. But I just mean, okay. So there are different therapists I've had where also their demeanor. Sometimes people are very kind of like a little bit harsh. You know what I mean? Like they can be very directive. Whereas I generally like the directive approach. I don't like it when it's only talk therapy.

Starting point is 00:07:50 I like it when they actually give me tools and sort of give me homework and give me frameworks and tell me the sort of the studies behind why they're telling me what to do. You know what I mean? Oh, interesting. But anyway, I digress. What I've realized works best for me because I sort of serendipitously had this type of therapist once is a older gay man. So my first one, I will say his name because his name is hilarious. Was my best in New York City back in, like, 2011, I want to say.

Starting point is 00:08:35 I don't even know if he's still working. I think he's off the radar. But he was the first one where it just really clicked for me. And also, I like the method that he used, which was cognitive. to behavioral therapy. So after that, so it's kind of like dating, like Shri said. You kind of have to find a few, try a few different types of therapists and see what you connect with, what makes you feel comfortable, what makes you feel challenged to if you want to feel challenged. Because I will say, I don't think therapy is meant to be a walk in the park. Oh my God, no. Therapy is actually the

Starting point is 00:09:17 hardest thing ever. It's work. It's like actually when you go to the gym and you do, a workout class or you do a workout. It's sort of the equivalent. It's working through your emotions. Yeah, it's building up emotional muscles and it's also breaking through old ways of thinking and old modes of thinking that you need to change. So think about how like if you've moved your body in the same way every single day for your whole life changing that pattern of moving, it's like the same thing, but in your head. Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe I should have put this disclaimer in the front. Therapy is really freaking hard.

Starting point is 00:09:58 And a lot of people don't want to do therapy because it is so freaking hard. If you're like trying to confront yourself and the bad parts about you, the good parts about you, the whatever parts, like that is a terrifying thing to do. But it's helpful. But it's helpful. It's the best thing I've ever done. It's helpful. But I mean, like, I don't mean to say this to scare anyone, but like it's not meant to be easy. I feel like you're scaring people or I feel like we are scaring people.

Starting point is 00:10:24 Oh, no. I think it's also when you go into it, you can set up expectations with your therapist to be like, hey, like, let's ease into this. Or I don't want to start talking about my deepest, darkest secrets right from the very beginning. This is the, well, you need to develop rapport. Yeah. You need to develop a discreet thing that I'm dealing with. So can we first unpack this, help me move through this difficult period in my life today?

Starting point is 00:10:47 and then we can build up and tackle. Do you have mommy issues or daddy issues? I had a Galentine's Day thing with my girlfriends. And then like we all went around and was like, do you have mommy issues? Happy Valentine's Day. Do you have mommy issues or daddy issues with all my gal pals? It was so funny. But yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:06 So after this one therapist that I had, I basically was like, I think I found what works for me. So after that, every time I moved cities and had to switch therapists, I would look for that one archetype. I don't know if that is sexist or I don't know. It just was what worked for me. So I didn't want to, I didn't want to. Don't break what's not broken. Don't fix what's not broken.

Starting point is 00:11:34 Yeah, don't fix what's my approach to it. Like one of my friends wanted to go into therapy. It's a guy. And he was saying that he has like some like mommy issues. He wants to, he didn't say it like that. But like the way he described. There's like things he needs to repair. Mommy issue.

Starting point is 00:11:49 Mommy issues. But he's just like I was looking through therapists and like there's this one woman who's an Asian woman and he's like I don't think I could have her as my therapist because it'd be too much like talking to my mom and would like freak him out. Yeah. So that's a real thing. It's so real. It's so real.

Starting point is 00:12:05 My therapist in college was a black woman and I thought that was like really amazing because we talked a lot about identity. And it was the first time I had heard the term intersection. Or they really understood what it meant. Wow. So you really learned from her. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:22 It can be an academic experience. I actually, when it is, it feels so good. Yeah. You feel like you're growing. Yes. You know? Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Starting point is 00:12:31 I mean, yeah. And like I leave my therapy session. It depends on, like, Gene said, there's like, it's, you know, there are gradations of it. Like I go in because I've been doing it for like, you know, many, many years. Like, I know what I want to get out of it. I actually create an agenda for my therapist. Like I go in being like, hey, we're going to talk about these things.

Starting point is 00:12:50 Is that okay? And he's like, yeah, go for it. But, like, I know it's the work. Like, if I come out, like, crying, like, I'm like, okay, good. I'm, like, working through something because I don't usually get there. And it depends on what you're working through. Like I said, I got issues. Not everyone has issues.

Starting point is 00:13:09 I got issues. I think everyone has issues. Not everyone has issues to this extent. But anyways, therapy. I that started it years ago I'm continuing it I we should talk about how to pay for therapy I guess how did you pay for your therapy when you had done it in college and beyond um I pretty much always set it up within the confines of my insurance yes so I would pay I think maybe that's also why for me it was such a it was such a barrier to always find the next one because I was very conscientious of always finding one that was in my network for my insurance.

Starting point is 00:13:47 And a lot of times it can be very difficult because they're not taking new patients because so many people on insurance are seeking them out. So if you have the, and I remember at the time, this was back in 2011, I went shopping with a guy friend of mine. And then he was like, yeah, I got to leave. I have my therapy session and I don't want to be late because I pay out of pocket for it. Yeah. And it's $350 a session. Yeah. And this was back in 2011.

Starting point is 00:14:16 And I was like, whoa. Yeah. That is so much. To me, I was like, that is so much money to pay out of pocket when I'm sure you have insurance. You could for sure be paying like a $20 copay. You know. It's hard. It's also a weird conversation to put a price on your mental health.

Starting point is 00:14:33 It's really weird. I totally, I felt that way at one point. Yeah. But yeah, so for me, I always sought out the resources that I had. Yes. So if you have a good health insurance or you have, you know, therapy covered, I would say go for it. Like, like, why not? Like I had, I paid $10 each time I saw my therapist when I was working at LinkedIn because of the health insurance that I had. That's incredible. I talk to my friend. Now I don't have that insurance. It's it's way, more expensive, but it's also something I'm willing to invest in. Two anecdotes from two different friends. One, one guy friend pays, I think, $350 to $400 each session. Oh my, for an hour. Oh, my God. It's probably not an hour. It's probably 50 minutes. Yeah, 45 minutes. Well, I guess that goes to say, like everyone has a different, like, obviously means to pay and also willingness to pay for it. It's different for everyone. When it was $10 for me, I was like, heck yeah. Now it's a way.

Starting point is 00:15:36 more expensive, but I'm like also willing to pay that now. The second anecdote I will share is that one of my good friends, he has a therapist he's been going to for years and he pays out of pocket. But the way that he rationalizes it, which I really like is that he sets aside $10,000 every year just to see this therapist. And he's like, my price for my mental health is $10,000. And like, yeah. So he's just like, It's the best investment. He's like, maybe I don't get to take that vacation or whatever, but he's just like, I'm going to be, you know, time, I mean, money bounding. I don't know what it's called.

Starting point is 00:16:15 Like, he has like a pot that he sets aside. And he's like, I'm not going to feel bad. A budget. I think it's called a budget. She's never heard of the word before. It's spelled B-U-T. It's spelled B-I-T-C-H. So he has a budget.

Starting point is 00:16:32 And he sets it aside and he doesn't worry about every single time, even though it's like, you know, $300 an hour. Yeah. That's kind of a, right? It's an interesting way to approach any sort of major expense is that you kind of just do the worrying up front and you're like, oh, I've already set aside the allocation for it. I'm not going to think about it for the rest of the year.

Starting point is 00:16:50 What a way to live. Budgeting. You've reached your limit on talking. It's just blow our mind. Not worrying about every single expense. That means you have to have a really good handle on your budget. Yeah. to like be able to have that freedom and yeah well he probably doesn't worry about it because he's already

Starting point is 00:17:10 pre-allocated like he's like oh i'm not going to be instead of taking this vacation i'm going to be setting this money for for for therapy for the year yeah so well i think it's just i wanted to bring up the money aspect yeah i'm glad you did i didn't think too well i think a lot of people just like don't know it can be very expensive if you have health insurance make make use yeah and then the other thing I wanted to touch on is that there are lots of different types of therapy. I brought this up briefly, but I think the most sort of baseline, basic type is called talk therapy. Is that CBT? No, just talk therapy. I don't really like it. So basically what you do is just talk to the therapist. And it's the one where I feel like in movies, they're like, hmm, and how did that make you feel? Tell me more,

Starting point is 00:18:00 blah, blah, blah. And it's kind of a way for you to just work through your feelings more. on your own with the therapist as more of like a light guide. To me, having done other types of therapy, I think talk therapy is only, it's helpful, but it's not as helpful as the other things I've done. So for me, what I really liked is cognitive behavioral therapy, which is a sort of psychotherapy method that has all these different methods and tools inside it to help you work through your issues and problems. And it just reframes and teaches you all these different ways to think about problems and to think about issues so that you have sort of a healthier relationship with them

Starting point is 00:18:50 and you can work through it better on your own and in real time. So one example. I think I've even mention this once before. So one example of cognitive behavioral therapy is let's say you are thinking about something and there's sort of something that you're dreading or you're ruminating about and you just don't feel good about it. So one method that I learned is to sort of project that scenario forward in your head. Think about the best possible scenario that could happen. Think about the worst possible scenario that could happen and then think about the most likely scenario. that could happen. And then by kind of going through that exercise, you take away the power of, like the what if. Catastrophizing. Yeah. Right. Like you kind of realize, oh, well, it's probably not going to be

Starting point is 00:19:42 the best case scenario. It's probably not going to be the worst case. It's going to be the middle of the road. So that's just one that I still remember from, you know, 10 plus years ago. And you can apply it in everyday life. So for me, I really like learning all these methods that you can use that are evergreen and that you can use for the rest of your life. I love learning. So I feel like that's the most helpful type of therapy. And CBT cognitive behavioral therapy is not the only type. There's another one that my girlfriend told me she's been doing recently called EMDR, which is eye motion desensitization. therapy and it's like a combination of the R E-MDR?

Starting point is 00:20:30 Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. And what it does, it's a combination of talk therapy and then also some sort of like eye movement that helps you process and heal your trauma. So I never tried it because I always thought that was like, I was like, oh yeah, that's like a bit much, I don't know. But she told me that she loves it. and it's helped her a ton. So that kind of opened up my eyes to the, you know, possibility.

Starting point is 00:21:00 I think now that you've been saying it, I think I've only been doing talk therapy my entire life. I don't think I've done the other types of therapy, at least not like explicitly. But I feel like doesn't your therapist give you tools and homework sort of? Nah. Nah, I ain't got no homework. Nah.

Starting point is 00:21:18 I just yap to my therapist. But the thing is, I won't. I it's the learnings are not as explicit as like um CBT but like like like you were just saying like you have frameworks and takeaways but but through talk therapy I've developed my own frameworks and my own like um oh and my own patterns of recognition of like oh maybe it's not like best case worst case most likely case but it's more like oh usually when I do this I act this way But if I can, like, slow down and I can recognize, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just, like, developing my own patterns of my own behavior.

Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah. Without using, like, the frameworks that were developed by psychologists. Yeah. I feel like that's good. It depends on. Thank you. Hey. Dartmouth is a good school, too.

Starting point is 00:22:11 Dartmouth is a good school, too. We have a story there. The lore behind it is that, like, one time. My tennis coach. I was actually in eighth grade. Oh, really? I think I was in, yeah, I was in eighth grade or seventh grade. Gene picked me up from my tennis lesson when our father was actually unavailable to pick me up.

Starting point is 00:22:29 Another story there. And so my big sister picked me up for my tennis lesson when my father was supposed to pick me up instead. But so then my tennis coach, you got issues. I got issues. Clearly, I got issues. My tennis coach, her daughter is at Cornell, a student at Cornell at the time when I was in seventh grade. And then Gene picked me up and Gene was a student at Dartmouth. And so I was talking with my tennis coach and my tennis coach is like talking to Jean and she's like, what's cool to go to?

Starting point is 00:22:58 And then she's like, my daughter goes to Cornell. And Gene's like, I go to Dartmouth. And then the tennis coach is like, like Dartmouth is a good school too, but like in like a really condescending tone. So now Gene and I for the last decade over a decade. No more. If you were in eighth grade. Yeah. I was like 13.

Starting point is 00:23:16 Yeah, over a decade. Yeah. Almost two decades. Yeah. like for the last 15, 16 years have been saying this stupid joke. But she also has like a really thick long island that set. So she's like, dot myth is a good school too. Donnith is a good school too.

Starting point is 00:23:34 So we're always just like, dot myth is a good school. Like, you know, whenever we're just like, you know, Dartmouth is a good school too. Dartmouth is a good school too. Sorry, the second layer irony is that Dartmouth is a really good school. it's an Ivy League school, but the way that my tennis coach said it was like with such, like an air of, not disdain, but like an air of just like, she might as well be talking like, you know, about some community college or something. She's like, Domiteth is a good school too. I was like never picking you up again.

Starting point is 00:24:06 That was kidding. I actually didn't remember that detail at all. I thought like the dentist said it to me or something. No, it was my tennis coach. It's so funny. Okay. Anyway. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:24:17 We digress. Sorry. What were we talking about? Top myth is a good school, too. Okay, coming to your own conclusions and then creating your own methods of managing going forward. I think that sounds good for some people, especially if like... Honestly, it's more bespoke. Like, these work for me because it's me. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:40 I think it's good, but it could be hard to do that, you know? Yeah, I'm not afraid of hard things. haven't we established this versus for me i like just having the directive i like the professional to to tell me these are the tried and trude methods do it and i even a lot of times my struggle with the talk therapist after i got a talk therapist um you know after having cognitive behavioral therapist for a long time is that i would ask the talk therapist i would say what you should I do? I'd be like, so do you think I should do this? Do you think I should do that? And I know a therapist is not supposed to directly tell you what to do, but I felt like my old ones would give me

Starting point is 00:25:26 some sort of tools to work through, to think about it, to think what to do myself. And they would even maybe be a little bit directive, which I loved. So, bro can't think for herself. Bro be leaning on these therapists you meant. Yeah. If I were your therapist, I would, totally be like, what do you think? I'd be like, shut up. Tell me what to do. I'd be like, I'm not paying you to ask me what I think. I'm here because I want to know what you think. You got a PhD in this. So share some of the knowledge with me. Thanks. I understand. See, as you can see, yeah. Different things work for different people. Even though I guess we can see some, we can seem similar on the surface.

Starting point is 00:26:17 You know, Columbia and Barnard is a good school too. Welcome into our inside joke. You are now on the inside of the- I've never said this joke to anyone. Well, clearly she'd even remember where the joke was from. I've just been saying it for 15 years. Yeah. It's also okay if you don't think the joke is funny at all.

Starting point is 00:26:38 It's funny to us, so. I want to move on to spiritual health. and mantras. Okay. Which is a branch off of therapy. I think it's all related to mental health and mental well-being. Did you want to talk about spiritual health? Yeah. I think spiritual health is such a large category. How would you define it? Yeah. It can just mean a lot of things to different people, which I think is okay. I think that's actually what is so amazing about it, is that you can interpret it in a lot of different ways, and then you can also express it and live it in a lot of different ways. So for a lot of people, I think the default of spiritual health is religiosity, right? So a lot of people have a lot of their,

Starting point is 00:27:31 I guess, strength in life and their optimism. and their purpose, purpose, positivity, self-belief, a lot of that comes from their faith. And I think that can be a really beautiful thing, especially when that is divorced from a institution. And it's just a one-on-one relationship and belief with a higher being with God. nobody asked me but I personally think that that is really beautiful and I think that people who derive their strength from that it can be really powerful and such yeah just like a really incredible source of power for people yeah what I don't like well hey oh what I don't like is when people use their religion as an excuse

Starting point is 00:28:31 no one asked we'll leave it at that we'll leave it at that we'll leave it at that yeah organized religion we can have our different views on it I think honestly I mean just like it's an interesting topic I think it's an excuse to do bad things it's to clarify to finish her thought okay

Starting point is 00:28:50 but I do think the statement you said before like it can be a very beautiful thing if you know their values are based on it like the way they see community the way that they see themselves as a part of community. It's a very beautiful thing. So I think spiritual health is good. And feeling like you are connected to something larger than yourself, I think is a really

Starting point is 00:29:13 powerful thing, wherever that might come from. You know, it doesn't even have to be religion. Yeah. And then I think the other end of the spectrum of spirituality is kind of what you mentioned, right? Having mantras and manifesting and it's all part of a spectrum because those don't have to necessarily have anything to do with faith or religiosity that can just be why do you keep saying religiosity instead of religion i don't know that's just the word that came to mind for me okay because i

Starting point is 00:29:43 think it's a more accurate word to say than religion religiosity is is an adjective okay right and religion is a noun okay oh my god okay well i'm just kind of saying what the people are thinking. Sorry for interrupting you. Religiosity. Continue. Yeah, it's more of a spectrum. And I know that meditation and mantras and manifesting is something that you do a lot of in your

Starting point is 00:30:28 everyday life, aside from, I know you also pray, but the mantras and stuff, you also do. Yes. I also have been praying for wisdom and patience. Like I always add that to my prayers. Like I want wisdom and patience. And the funniest thing that happened recently, I saw like a meme on Instagram is that it was just like, it's talking about wisdom and patience too. But it's just like if you ask God to give you wisdom and patience, he will also give you ways to test your wisdom and patience. And I was like, that's why there's so many things in my life that are happening now that are stressing me out.

Starting point is 00:31:09 God is testing me, you know, because he's giving me wisdom and patience. So you do that. You have that automatic practice. Yes, I do. And then separately, you also have your mantras, which I learned. So talk a little bit more about that. Yes. So I learned this quite recently over the last two years at Stanford.

Starting point is 00:31:27 It is actually from a professor who is religious, although this has nothing. to do with religion. It's one of my professors from Stanford, Joel Peterson, and he talks about these mantras being a guiding light to his life because it is rewiring his brain and rewiring his operating system. Wait, question. So did he get these mantras? Are they derived from his religion, or his religious side or his faith? Is it a translation for everyone to? to use all his students who are not religious, or was it just totally separate? I think it's totally separate.

Starting point is 00:32:09 I think he's a man of faith and a man of reflection, which is why he got to these mantras. They're completely separate from his religion. But he's just such a thoughtful man. It actually is derived from his own personal experience and where he found he struggled the most. Okay, so tell us about the mantras and how to use them. Yes.

Starting point is 00:32:31 So he's like, this is what I do. You don't have to take my mantras. I've just copied them completely. He didn't tell us to copy it. I just copied it. But he's just like, what do you struggle with? Like, what is one of your biggest insecurities? And I'll give you an example.

Starting point is 00:32:44 How do you take that insecurity, like flip it on its head and say the positive version of that so that you can like manifest the positivity? So an example of that is that he and his young, he's like 77 now. But when he was like at the height of his career, he was very self-centered is what he said. He's like, I always thought about myself first. Even when he had a family, when he had a career, he was always like very self-centered. And when there was a problem, he always went, he like took it very personally and it went to himself. He reflected on that. And the opposite of that, which is the mantra he came up with, is it's not about me.

Starting point is 00:33:25 So to combat his self-centeredness, he would then tell himself, it's not about. me. So if there were ever a problem that came up, he wouldn't take it personally. Or, you know, applied another way. Like, since he has kids, he knows, like, what he's doing in life and his career. It's not about him anymore. It's about his kids. It's about his family. So he wanted to rewire his own operating system so that it's not about me. He also said that he was a very emotional person when he was younger. Like, he ran very hot and swept up into things. But he says, one of his mantras is I am not my emotions. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:34:02 And two more I'll share with you. I have everything I need as a mantra of his, and I am grateful. Is a mantra of his? Yeah. So just those are the four that he shared with us, and I've completely copied them. You feel free to copy them as well. But I write these down. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed in my journal, I write these four mantras down over

Starting point is 00:34:28 and over again day after day until I feel more centered. And if you've ever purchased our matcha at sisters masha.com on the top of the can, it says, I have everything I need. It's kind of beautiful. Yeah. It's very beautiful. Yeah. I have everything I need.

Starting point is 00:34:49 Yeah. And so it's a mantra for you. But what's funny kind of is when you describe the mantra that way is something that you repeat and I guess yeah the literal definition of mantra you just say it over and over it sounds a lot like prayer because you know when people pray and they have the standardized prayers where they say give me patience give me grace God give me you know like the standard ones it sounds a lot like that yeah yeah at the end of the day we're just doing our best these are just tools suggestions if you have the means and the time to seek therapy or seek a professional help or also just

Starting point is 00:35:30 write down these mantras every day. These are just ways to help center yourself because the world is kind of crazy. It's really busy. Things are moving really fast. And it's easy to get swept up in stuff. So it's nice to slow down. Yeah. I mean, and it's a way to build your emotional well-being muscle. Resilience. Yeah, your resilience. Fortitude. your mental, your mental muscle kind of, whatever the opposite of your being is, that is anything that's not physical, the rest of it, working on all of that, right? Because you can't, you can't, if you never worked out, you would just be completely unhealthy. So that's kind of my way of thinking about it. And then the other thing I wanted to address is recently, and

Starting point is 00:36:24 multiple girlfriends of mine told me that they are on antidepressants. They're on SSRIs, which is serotonin, selective serotonin inhibitor, re-uptake inhibitors. Anyway. Antidepressants. And it was shared with no fanfare. It was shared with just honest conversation. and I just want to put that out there because I think that there might still be some remaining stigma around antidepressants or SSRIs or whatever type of antidepressants or medications that people might use

Starting point is 00:37:07 to improve your mental well-being. And I just, there shouldn't be. There shouldn't be. So yeah, I just, with both of these girlfriends, we just had very open, conversations about it with zero shame or embarrassment. So I'm not saying that, you know, if you were to go on antidepressants, you don't need to shout it from the rooftops and you don't need to even tell your best friends. But if that's something that just know that it's available to you.

Starting point is 00:37:37 And it's a very, it's a viable path to help you get better. True. Talk to your medical professional. We are your big sisters. Just encouraging you to be your best self and live your best. wealthy, healthy, joyful life. And these are just some of the things we're thinking about. We're talking about with each other and with our girlfriends.

Starting point is 00:38:01 And so you're part of the conversation now and go and be forth. Yeah, I just want to say there's no stigma around it. Yeah. Just do anything and everything you need to do to be your best self. Yeah, to be your best self. And to feel like your best. Exactly. And to live a happy life.

Starting point is 00:38:17 We want everyone, we want you guys to be happy and healthy. And that's why we put ourselves on blast through this podcast, which is kind of like talk therapy. Well, thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode of the Tiger Sisters. We will see you next time in season four. OMG. Coming up soon. Please like, comment and subscribe and share this podcast episode with someone who might find it helpful. We'll see you next time.

Starting point is 00:38:48 Thanks. Bye. Hey everyone, quick break to share something special, Sisters Macha. We've launched limited batches of ceremonial grade, single estate, single cultivar, Macha, straight from the family farm Shari worked on in Japan. It's pure, authentic, and crafted with intention. Head to SistersMacha.com to grab yours before it sells out. Make Macha your daily ritual for lasting energy and focus.

Tiger Sisters - The best investment is your mental health (our most vulnerable conversation yet)

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