TigerBelly - Adam DeVine & The Spicy Spleen

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

Adam DeVine is back for his 2nd time and recalls audition fails Bobby. We chat Workaholics origin, PA mistake, halibut fishing, Denzel Wikipedia, Richard Gere rumors, and blunt force trama.For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit www.hims.com/belly Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly 

A Portland, Oregon, I'll be at Spirit Mountain Casino. November 8, 2020, 25. I'm in the bearer I'm in the bear Wow, you get a couple of lines, right? I'm in the season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, son.

You're basically Joel McHale. He's Joel McHale now. He's in that show a little bit. Is McHale in it? She's so good in it. What does he play? What does the McHale play on it? Oh, you're Zach Alfinakas now.

Oh, geez. I didn't realize you have talent. I never knew that. Bobby? Adam Devine is here. Oh, yeah Again A second, third time maybe

Second, I don't know Something like that Yeah You're gonna take a verse or what Adam? I mean, or Andrew? No, no, not me, I mean What, you don't sing?

Filipinos can sing I know, that's the white part of me as I can't say Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Really, that's a, that is a That's a sad That is a, that's so sad Yeah, those are some of my favorite

video Like, what? Well, just in your, you're in the Philippines And then it's just like some guy who's just chain-smoking cigarettes who looks like a melted candle and then he sounds exactly like Rihanna

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah He's like, please don't stop the music I know, I know So you didn't get any of the singing skills? Oh, but the boxing skills? I did get those. Okay, yeah, go to them hands. Well, you think you could beat me in a round?

I don't, actually. Oh, all right, well, I've never even taken a class. I bet you could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think so? Bobby? First of all, first of all,

bro, let me just say something, okay, bro. No, no, no, let me get, all right, everybody that kind of does a little grapple, grapple with me, dude, always goes, God, you're stronger than I thought you were.

It's a low center of gravity. I got it too. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And also another thing is another thing is that when, you know, women make, sometimes, when they make love to me, right? Sometimes. Sometimes, right?

They go, that was legit. so that those are my skill sets that's what I bring to the is that what they say is that what they say that was legit well you had sex with me before that's not what I said I never said it was

what did you say I can promise you that's not what I said what was that what did you say why why why was that why was that you're sure it's not

what they're eating afterwards saying oh this this Sandwich was legit. Okay. Oh, my God's so humiliating. That was really funny, Adam. Okay, anyway, you have beef?

Yeah, I got beef with Bobby. I got beef with Bobby because he's doing our cruise. We have a cruise with that, me and the workaholics guys, this is important is our podcast and we're doing a cruise called this cruise is important. And then Bobby said, I don't know if he was on this show or if he was on his other. podcast, bad friends, but he was saying I never want to go on a cruise. I'm never going to go on a cruise. And then multiple people

are hitting me up being like, Bobby's not going on your cruise. Yeah. What's up Bobby? So I'll tell you this. You're contractually obligated to go on the cruise. Go down. Scroll down. Scroll down. Go down. Scroll down. Bobby Lee. Oh. Oh. First one after after the three main studs. Adam Ray, Nick's worth. Wow. Wow. Well, of course I'm doing it.

Okay. Obviously, I'm doing it. I'm on a flyer, dude. You're on the flyer. You got to show up. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. It's in February 22nd through the 26th.

Let me ask you some questions, Guy. Okay. Number one, what do we got to do when I'm there? Stand-up comedy, probably. Oh, okay. So we're going to do a couple of shows. We're going to do some shows. Okay.

We're going to do water slides, belly flop competition. Some classic stuff. You know what's been going, my algorithm has, gotten into the dark side of cruises. See, I don't want to hear about dark side. Right now, because when we first started to promote this, was right when the poop cruise

got to the thing out. And everyone's like, ah, poop cruise. I'm like, that was one cruise out of the millions of cruises that have happened. Well, don't they say that they add. Just throw it out. They add stuff to the food, like a laxative.

So it gives a laxative effect. so that the plumbing doesn't go awry. Oh. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to request. It's my crew, so I'm saying, let's go lax it. It's clogged with pipes. Yeah, so I poo a lot. Yeah, me too.

Yeah, yeah. I just did it here in your bathroom. I know. We were there for a while. Yeah, I was. You decided to smoke a cigarette. Yeah. It was taken so long.

Well, then I went in, I was in the fucking waiting room, and I go, that's not a pee. So I went out, had a cigarette, came back in, and that you were still, that's It's not a pee in my mind. But then you did another cigarette? Yeah, I did too. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, does it smell weird in there?

No, it did. Yeah, I don't want to get into my peeve. We don't even. We can't even go. Let's guess that do-do tune. You know, I don't really know. We didn't make this flyer. They just put this out, you know, and, and it's like a cool kids-only kickback.

I'm like, that sounds fucking. stupid. Like everyone's invited to do the kickback if we're doing kickbacks but also I don't say kickback and I just said it like 12 times so I don't know. The flyer's stupid well if I'm a single guy let's do I bring a girl onto it or do I just go

it's 60-40 girls right now so we're leaning heavy on thank you ladies that's very nice yeah yeah because they know Blake's going to be all shirtless nipple hair how many days? I think it's four days.

Oh, my God. Yeah, 22nd through the 26. And then where are you guys? And then where are you guys? Oh, my God. All the way to Cozumel. Yeah. You're going to Cozumel.

You're going to spend a day on Cozum. I'll tell you what I'm going. What's that? I'm buying tickets. I love it. Are you really going to go? Yeah. Are you going to go?

Well, yeah, I'm just making sure. We're making sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you're going, I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. Are you going?

Are you going? A hell of a lineup. Yeah, yeah. You guys have to go, dude. Yeah. Also, you know, if there's, you know, I don't have a lot of friends there. You'll keep me company, maybe. One of your friends is sitting right next to?

I know, but he's this thing. You're going to be with Anders and that guy, Blake. Yeah, you're going to be, you know, you know, you go everybody on this list, you know. Let me see. It's right there. I know. I'm reading it now. Okay.

I'll just tell you my relationship with them. Okay. Okay. Go back, please. Thank you. Oh, that was beautiful. All right. Adam Ray.

Close. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you know him. Swartson, pretty close. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam J, not so.

Not so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe this is the time you get a little closer. Maybe so. Maybe so. Yeah. She's black, right? That's great.

Okay, good. Hey, nailed it. The first test, the first test to friendship is being able to identify the color of their skin. Well, I'll go with Annie Letterman, Googily. Yeah, is she not a Googling. Jiggly, jiggily, jiggily. I love it. She's a jiggly, jiggly, giggly, gullie monster, guys.

And I want you. To say that on stay. Maybe you bring her up. I don't know how it's going to work. Exactly. Yeah, when I greet Anna, I go, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo, you know, because of the jiggly. I love it.

Yeah, and what that means? I don't know. I don't know exactly what that was, but. Beth Stelling. Yeah. She's sweet. Sweetheart. Catherine.

Who? Catherine. Yeah. I know her. She's a fun girl. She's a wild, she's a wild fun girl. She's a wild, fun girl. She's very funny.

We're all a little cute. Yeah, we're all good. You're all a little cook. Eric Griffin, dear friend. Yeah. Yeah. Also, hairy. He's hairy.

Knuckles. Those knuckles are atrocious. Wax him. Do something with those knuckles. Have you ever seen his feet? I haven't. I've seen his whole body. I've seen his whole body.

Yeah. Weirdly hairless once you. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's even scarier. Yeah. Well, it's a really good lineup, dude. I can't wait to go.

You know? Yeah. And then you live. not in this area I'm not going to tell you exactly where but you live in a coastal region. I do. I live at the beach. I'm a little beach boy now.

I admit, you know, being inland. Yeah. I do miss the get out there. Treat yourself to a little beach place. I like the waves. Yeah, me too. I like the sound of it. I got a couple little boats. I go on the boat rides. What do you do? What do you do on the boats?

Just hang out. on boats. It's fun to go on boats. You know, I want to fish, but I don't know how to fish. Amir K. You know, Amir K? I do. He's in boats out there.

Does he fish on the boat? Yeah, he fishes. Does he fish? Yeah, he gets yellow tails to an array. Oh, I'd love that. I would love to be able to do that. I got the best fisherman for you, but we'll talk late. Really?

Okay, yeah. What? You know what? You're sensitive. You know, that's so stupid. What? I know the best fisherman. Maybe she knows a great fisherman.

Why he's shitting on her ability to know fishermen? I know, good deer hunting. Who? What's his name? No, Rogan. Oh. Okay. He's the best of them.

Look at him. That's amazing. That big ass fish. Yeah. That's an ocean fish. What is that, Bobby? What kind of fish? That's got to be too.

That's got to be. It's got to be, though. It has to be. No, it's got to be. Oh, my God. There's no way to tell what kind of fish that is. You guess, you guys, you guys guess. Is that a yellow?

It's a yellowish tail. Oh, yellow tail? Is it a yellowish tail? It's not a yellow tail? It's not. You know, do you? I see a fish. Yeah.

Oh, sick. She's one of the Filipino. She's half Filipino as well. Uh-huh. And she's a Swede. Sweet. She's a Swede. She's a Swede.

She's a Swede. She's a Swede. She loves a sea. Oh, okay. Seedweller. Yeah. Yeah. For a comic, sometimes you can't say words.

And I love that. That's one of my favorite things about me. What do you mean? Yeah. Just how you said seed dweller. Yeah. You know what? Here's the thing.

Yeah. I don't know what I'm saying at the time. I mean, too. No, but here, let me just defend myself. Okay. Divine. Yeah. Is that your real last name?

That's campy. It is. Okay. Well, divine. Sometimes I don't know what I'm saying, right? But I commit to the beginning. Most people go, oh, I know what I'm going to say. And then they, phonetically, is that the right word?

Go ahead. Sure. The process. Go ahead. I understand what you do. No, no. Let's finish, though. Okay.

Well, Jesus, we'll spit it the fuck out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they say it, but I go, I'm going to commit to it. And then when it's coming out, I go, uh-oh. Oh, you meant to say phonetic. Yeah, phonetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Go ahead, Bobby. Your game. What fish is that, Bobby? That's the exact fish. Oh, that's a bass. No. No, this one, Klala. It's not a bass.

What is that one? What is that? What is that? Halibet. Yes, yes. That's halibet. That's a halibat. The white sea bass tail looks similar.

Do you know why? Do you know why? Nope, based on that photo. Yeah, I don't. Roblox or something? No. Are you a nine-year-old? No, no.

I play a game called Stardue Valley. And there's a lot of fishing in the game. And the graphics look like that? Yeah, that's the graphic. You know that there's video games with really good. I don't. Yeah, graphics. Please don't, please.

It's the greatest game. Look. Yeah. I mean, I like Miss Pac-Man. No, no, that's what it is. I'm obsessed with the game. Yeah. And that's the game?

That's what it looks like, right? No, but that's a recipe because you can cook in the game. So there's... But see, right there, that's what fishing looks like. Okay, yeah. And when you get a fish, I can identify the fish if it's in the game. We need to get you out in the real world. Yeah.

That's a halibut. That's a halibut. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd go fishing with Amir. I like a mirror. Yeah. We got to go through a very funny, man. Yeah, I got to throw him on the cruise,

maybe he'll catch something. Yeah, dude. But he lives by the beach, too. Anyway, a lot of comics live by the beach. Craig Conant. You know him? I don't. Okay.

He's a guy? He's a guy, yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you take walks on the beach with your family? I do. I go on morning walks with the sun. I love it. I love, he sees butterflies, and now, this cute little fuck. How old is he now?

He's 22, no. He's, uh, he's, uh, 18 months, 17 months, some 17 months, something like that? Whoa. And when he sees butterflies, he goes, stop it, you cute little bugger. Oh. Uh-huh.

Now, is it true? Because I've heard comics say this, that when they go on the road, and when they're coming back home, they can't wait to see their kid. Yep. Is that true? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, yeah. We just can't, you're like, I've got to get home. You know what I mean? It is, it's way, you know, I thought I would like it, and I love it so much more than I even thought that I would. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, it's just incredible. I mean, obviously, there's some parts that suck.

You have to wake up so early. Uh, and then he's just, you know, he's probably shit his pants. So you got to take care of that. You can't get a night nurse? Uh, well, for his whole life. Like, you got to. Yeah. He's a year and a half now.

Five years. Yeah, okay. Maybe the first five years. You can't get that? At some point, you've got to be the nurse. Yeah, you got to step up. I mean, the poo thing, though, right? I mean, you can't help that, can you?

No, I mean, you get so desensitized to it. At first, I'm like, man, I'm seeing this little guy's butthole a lot. And then now you're just like, shl-slip, sleep, sleep. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah, and he's done with it. What age do they go, Daddy? I'm going to go to batheel. And they go to the bathroom themselves.

I think that's like two-ish, two and a half. Two and a half. Right. I think he now is saying da-da. Oh, that's great. Which is adorable. But then he likes to fuck with us. He'll say,

dad-da, and then point to mom. Yeah. Mom is like, no, no, no. Mama. And he goes, Mama. All right.

No, no, no. And then he'll laugh. All right. He knows he's a fucking comedian. I hope so, man. You would support it? I would. Wouldn't you?

I feel like we have pretty cool lives. Like, look at this is your job, dude. like my dad worked out in a railroad you know what I mean I didn't know yeah your dad in railroad yeah he worked for the railroad wow was he supportive when you wanted to be

a comedian uh yeah it's cut hymns for your hair for your hair for your hair baby No one plans for that hair loss. I don't, golly G. God.

But through Hymns, you can take the next step with confidence. Access treatments made with clinically proven ingredients like finesteroide and monoxidil to stop hair loss and regrow hair in three to six months. No waiting rooms, no hoops, just ingredients with track record of results. Hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including chews, oral medications, germs and sprays. Doctor-trusted, clinically proven ingredients like finasteride and monoxville can stop hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months.

You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. I'll tell you that, golly gee. Him brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalize treatments that put your goals first. No hidden fees, no surprise costs, just real personalized care on your schedule. For simple online access to personalize an affordable care for hair loss, ed, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com slash belly. That's Hymns.com slash belly for your free online visit. Hymns.com slash belly. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, monoxidil and finasteri, prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information.

Shopify, Shopify. Shopify is the E-Fi. Shopify is the e-commerce commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. from household names like Mattel and Jim Shark to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready-to-use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store to match your brand style. Well, we use Shopify here at Tiger Bellion. You can accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography.

Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Use the great email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are strolling or scrolling. What's what we used to sell our merch? Here, throw it over here. This is what George was trying to get before he got yelled at. They will be selling these shorts using shop. See these cool, old school retro basketball shorts?

These PE shorts? That's us. That's us. We're using Shopify. We are. Guys, turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up with your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash tigerbelly. Go to Shopify.com slash tiger belly.

Shopify.com slash tiger belly. Tchrebelly. I got for the rear. Wow. Was he supportive when you wanted to become a comedian? Yeah. Cut. See that line again?

I got so nervous. I looked at Adam Devine. I was like, I can't believe I'm sitting next day. You deliver like that on the bear? That's why they cut all my seats. Is that bear acting? Or Platonic season two? Yeah, platonic season two?

Hey, we got to get you. Have that again? And action, Andrew. That's why I'm on montages only. Okay. And action, Andrew? Um, was your parents, fuck. I forgot the line.

Yeah, yeah. It wasn't even a line. It just, it's great. And, and, wait, the director. Okay, got you. Okay, got you, gotcha. Everyone, ready? Okay, and action.

Were your parents supportive when you wanted to become a comedian? Oh, wow. Stuck the landing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, so serious. Yeah, you didn't put any fun. I want you to know that I'm freaking out in my head,

that was bad. You nailed it, you know, I've told you guys before, but I was hit by a cement truck when I was a kid. So, like, you know, you almost die. Sorry, I'm sorry. Wait, how old were you? What the fuck are you laughing? I don't know.

It's like, you know what I was a kid. It's like kind of, it is funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is funny. I was like, yeah. It's traumatic. It's a funny, you know, if I was hit by a regular truck, who gives a shit? No, no. But I'm hit by a cement truck.

Yeah. That's kind of funny. Maybe you should be a comedian. Did you get money for it? I got like 25 grand or something. That's it? Yeah. And then I invested.

My dad's like, you got to throw it in this stock market. My dad knows nothing about the stock market. Oh, I look like that. God damn. How old were? Oh, you were a good. I was, wow. I weirdly was older in that photo right there than I am now.

I look like shit there. Yeah, I was 11 years old. Oh, my God, traumatic. Yeah, there I am. Wait, what were you doing? Walking across the street. Oh, my God. I was going to the gas station to get candid.

and also we would rip out pages out of the Playboy magazines as kids do and as kids do and I don't know why we didn't just take the entire magazine but we would rip pages out and one kid would be like

hey where's your Rasmatash suckers and then another kid's just just ripping ripping pages but yeah so my friend yells like come on and I took that as like Coase is Clear and he meant it as

as come on I'm just excited to go to the convenience store So I took it as like Oh it's but three cementrics growing up the hill At the same time that two were coming down And because I grew up in the suburbs So new houses were being built every day Yeah

I grew up in that shitty video game that Bobby plays Where there's just cement trucks Shit everywhere Roblox So there's three were going up two are coming down He yells come on I walk out with my bike, cablamo, underneath the wheel, and then I couldn't walk for like two years. Wow.

Yeah, so essentially to answer your very well-delivered question, my parents were like, oh, you're not dead, so you can do whatever you want? And I'm like, I want to be a comedian. And they're like, do you have any other dreams? Do you want to do anything else? You were good early on, though. Yeah. What? Yeah, I was.

Yeah, you were good. I saw you in the belly room I already think I've already told you this but I saw you the belly room many, many years ago and you were just starting and you were good then. Thanks, Bob. It meant a lot. I remember you saying something to me

and I was like floating because I was, you know, I started when I was 18 years old. Wow. And you started where? What town? I started here. I started in L.A. I started...

That's the hardest place to start. It really sucked and I was doing a lot of really shitty clubs and rooms and, you know, bowling alleys and Chinese restaurants and the ha ha ha ha cafe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Ha-ha. Yeah. I was at the ha-ha. Uh, every, it was, remember that song? Gasolina. So, my, gasoline. Yeah, yeah.

That song was very popular at the time. And I feel like that's, when I think back of when I started comedy, I only think of the gasoline song. Oh, because it was playing outside or something? No, that's just the song they brought everyone up to. It's a different fucking song than gasoline. Gasolina? Yeah, I'm like...

Andrew, did you play there? No, I've never played there. Because you're an East Side, high class, alternative comic. That room, though, too, it's like, that's like the diverse room now.

It's like the only room that I think does Latino and Black shows. Oh. With the improv and the laugh at the Monday night Monday night.

Yeah, they do do some better. But like I, yeah, like I want to play there. You get me in? I bet you can. I don't. I don't, I would.

even know how to even play that room i played it one time oh really did you start would you were you like just at the comedy store like out the gate yeah that's a good the comedy store scared me i because i was like 18 19 years old yeah yeah yeah and i'd go there and i'm like man i either i have to start smoking crack or i can't like it was like a scary and then and then you remember like the the sunset jesus was always oh yeah yeah yeah heaven that kevin yeah i mean or i you ever knew it's Chewy or no? I don't know. He had this 400 pound man in like a three-piece suit and a top hat Mexican dude named Chewy, and he was hardcore.

Yeah, the comedy store scared me. It was scary. The improv was much more welcoming. And then I, uh, and then I became the door guy there. At the improv. At the improv. Yeah. And was a door guy there for two years.

And then. But those are the dark ages of the store. I think it's changed. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's much cooler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very welcoming, very awesome. yeah it's cool now it's i feel like if you start now it's a very welcoming place to start yeah it's

hard to get into yeah yeah yeah but uh yeah and then i was at two years at the uh improv and then i booked the montreal comedy festival new faces wow like a year and a half in or so and then i remember some nbc executive was like what are you doing working here and i'm like oh i it was after the festival and he's like you can't work here and i'm like this is how i make money here i'm like i make no money doing comedy and it's like you have to quit you have to live in the valley and just work out the best by there and then do stand-up because the industry can't see you we're just working at the comedy club and I'm like really so I went upstairs and I told Rita the manager I'm like I think I have to quit I was waiting for you to quit yeah I knew you were gonna quit she's

still there I love her I love her too yeah she's the fucking best she calls me all the time She always, like, cries when she sees me because I was so young when she, she hired me there, you know, and I'm like 19, 20 years old. When you moved here, did you know anybody in L.A.? Or did you start completely, like, blank slate? Yeah, I didn't know anybody, yeah. I got the L.A. Weekly. Remember the L.A. weekly? Yeah, yeah. Find the open mics and would highlight them and then carry that around. I have my Thomas Guide. Do you, did you have...

I'm 68 years old. Did you have guys you started with? that were pricks? Yeah, I mean, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I wrote them down. Yeah, no, I have a little... I still see them.

I still have a little... And they're still at open mics. I go, hi. Hi, bye, sucker. Bye, I'm headlining. Yeah, there's some guys that have, you know, that they're like very funny, but they were just assholes.

And now that I'm in a position that I hire people for television shows and movies and stuff, that I've gone, not them. And everyone else was like, they had the funniest audition. I'm like, I don't fucking care. I know, they are funny, but fuck them. Have you ever been in a room where you're auditioning, like, it's your project, and your friends come in?

And you have to watch them read? Yeah. It's the worst. Yeah, especially if they, I mean, sometimes they crush. You're like, oh, thank God. But then every once in a while, you're like, oh, buddy. And then you have to be like, dude, really good stuff. Are you in class?

Are you trying to get better at all? Or you're just winging it? What time Neil Brennan was directing a movie with Piven and, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, the dealership car movie, right? And I was in the room audition and then after my first take, Neil Brendan stands up, comes to me,

whispers from my ear and he goes, no one can understand what you're saying. You whispered it? I go, what do you mean? He goes, it just suspic. I don't seem like English. It doesn't seem like... Because I was so nervous.

Yeah. He's like, just slow it way to. Oh, man. I remember when we hired Eric Griffin, because Eric, he was never like a dick, but Eric would always like son me. He'd be like, you'll get good someday, little man. And I'm like, fuck you.

You big hairy buffoon. Yeah. I'm like, and then when I, when we sold workaholics and we were just starting the show, he came in and, crushed the audition. Wow. And thought that I was a PA working on the show.

Oh my goodness. And I read with him. And he was like, man, very, uh, it's cool that they're letting you read and do all the readings. And I'm like, yeah, motherfucker, it's my TV show. So I actively, he actually came the day before. He got the days wrong. His audition came the day before. And was just like,

and Blake comes in and was like, I think I just met Armantez. Yeah. He was, this guy's hilarious. He looks goof. He's got Harry Knuckles. And I'm like, looks goofy Harry Knuckles. He's like, does he look like Mr. Potato Head? He's like, he does. And I'm like, is Eric Griffin?

He's like, that's the guy. And I'm like, we can't, we cannot hire him. And I actively was like, we can't. And then he crush his audition. I'm like, oh, fuck, I think we got to hire him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is going to suck. Yeah.

And then it ended up being great and he was great on the show. But I wrote in the show that my character, just unexplainably hates Eric's character. So I got to be, like, wildly mean to him throughout seven seasons of the TV show, which was very fun. But you guys got close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, well, that's a great friend of mine, but she's the worst. I hate him. I remember Candace Bergen. Bergen? Is that her name? Yeah. Candice Bergen.

Murphy? No. What? Murphy Brown? Murphy Brown. Yeah. What? Is it wrong?

It's Bergen, I think. It's Bergen, I think. Whatever. Yeah, whatever. She's not here. And this, come on out. Yeah. But she thought that I was makeup hair, right?

And then even when we were, like, rehearsing, I was, like, doing lines with her. She thought I was makeup hair. And then when we're actually, she said, oh, sweetie, you're an actor? And I thought, yeah, I'm in the show. She's like, you don't look like an actor. Like an actor. And I go, well, I look like this. Yeah.

Like, you know, my own form of. of googly monster you know I mean no yeah I had this one guy come in I had a Comedy Central pilot can you hand me that real quick which what what this no that the no the what do you point that that oh thank you okay um and good friend of mine he came in and I go this guy's great this guy's really funny right and he has his sides like this over his face and he goes he was so nervous yeah shaking shaking the thing and And I didn't know, I just let him keep doing it. I didn't give him notes or anything.

Because I just wanted him to get out of the room. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was like a point where there was nothing that I could have said that was going to like, you know what I mean, make him calm. Because he had never auditioned before. I know. And then later I go, you did good.

He goes, no, I didn't. One of my. Yeah, one of my liar auditions was straight to producers in front of Judd Apatow, Jason Siegel and a ton of other people. And it was like a huge audition. And I was so nervous. I'm acting opposite Jason Siegel that I went completely off book and just started improvving and got up out of my chair and decided like, I'm going to bring so much energy to this that the words won't matter. And then afterwards, I remember Jed Appetal looks at me and goes, well, we wanted some improv.

And then And then I go, I could do it again And he goes, I think we're good And I left And I brought it up to Judd before And I'm like, I'm sure you remember that And he's like, I don't remember that at all Yeah

I'm like, okay, I meant nothing to you But for me, it was the worst day of my life Was this free workaholics? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah But I don't know if I've told this story in a while but remember the one that I I don't audition, this is the worst audition I've ever had.

So it was Not Ridley Scott But his brother Tony Scott Oh yeah Huge director Huge director He was doing a movie And this is

CA first signed me Cool And they're like We got you a real special audition Yeah I go what is it And they're like Just know your lines

Of course I never read it Yeah I read it the night before Whatever Yeah And they came in on a Saturday Which is like At the time I didn't know

That was a big deal Yes But Saturday was And I walk in and I knew something was up because there was no one else there and I remember they handed me a glass of water. You know what I mean?

Usually there's no water. You're in these like full chairs with 30 guys. Sure. And then then they love me. You feel kind of fancy. Yeah, I feel like, but then they love me and then in my mind I'm like, uh-oh, I'm fucked. Why? Because I don't know the lines. I don't know what I'm

barely knowing. Oh, yeah. And I was having a panic attack. And he's known as being like a, or it was, R-I-P, but he was known as being like a true hard-ass. Hard-ass. Yeah. And I walk into this thing, there's camera set up and the casting director and everyone, and I swear to God in my mind, I'm like,

there's no way I can do it. I can't even say it. So I've got to get out of this. Right? So I had the first line, and so, Kalala, you're the castor-inter, and you say, are you ready, Bobby? All right. And you say, go ahead.

Go ahead. bye and I left oh that one did remember that one yeah yeah wow and I leave what did CAA immediately

immediately you're out you're done you're done they fired you they but then because I'm because I'm friends with Matt because Matt Blake brought me over from Gers sure

Blake was like listen those guys the head guys that got you they're not going to ripy wrapping you we got we got some younger agents that are willing to take you want. A new team

with no power. We've just brought them up from the mail room. They don't know what they're doing yet. What was the movie? Was it Man on Fire? I forgot what the movie was called. But it's something else like...

Oh, he did Man on Fire? Yeah, I think so. I don't think he was Man on Fire. But I remember also, I ran into Whitney Cummings. And she goes, oh, that happens to me. Panic attacks. Yeah.

And she got me on beta blockers. Oh, really? Yeah. And then that seemed to help. But then are you so calm that you don't have the energy to like? Like, I would hate to do beta blockers. And then you have a show and you're just like telling your jokes, but you have nothing behind it. You're like, I don't know.

The problem is the moisture gets sucked out of your mouth. Because your blood pressure drops. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah. Cotton mouth. Yeah, cotton mouth. Not in there.

That's one. You don't remember what movie it was? Yeah, look up his thing I can do it I know that the It's such with the sea Crimson Tide No not Crimson Tide

No I think it's Domino I love Domino I think it's Domino Oh yeah Yeah that was the movie With Edgar Ramirez And Kira Knightley Yeah it was Domino

I am a bounty hunter My first ever My first ever Like resume I didn't have Or like bio I had nothing to say about myself I was doing shows

at the second city and they're like give give us a bio but i just like graduated high school you know i have like nothing to say like i did a play in high school and so i just cut and pasted denzo washington's entire biography and i like this kind of funny and i put it and for some reason that stuck with me someone took that and put it on my wikipedia page and so my wikipedia page was just the fact that i was denzil was denza washington and then throughout the year people took stuff away but the one thing that stuck was I'm the star of man on fire

and I went to Fordham University and so people were like in New York there's the I mean it's changed now at this point but wait that photo right there did you choose that I didn't and I did not choose it I don't know how

by the way this is the worst I've ever looked Besides the last photo you brought up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they put a blue scarf on me. I'm like, I don't wear scarves. This is, but I've talked about this photo before on podcast, and I'm like, I'm like, I hate the photo.

Like, I used to have a cool photo of me when I was doing a USO tour and like there's troops all around and I look kind of good. Yeah. And actively people, I like tried to get it to change back and then people will just put that back. Oh, so they control.

Oh, Wikipedia. like anyone can do it. This is what happened with your IMDB, remember? I hate that IMDB photo. And then I went out of my way to get it changed and then it got changed back to that. To that photo. This will be the photo for the rest of time

because the internet knows that I don't like. Oh, so they do it. So no matter how many times I do it. Okay, what's this? I don't know. Maybe put one of those photos. Is that IMDB? That's just a generic shirtless photo.

See what my IMDB photo is now. Okay. Because if that same, it's, I think it's me on a red carpet at VH1 awards or something. Yeah, it was terrible. Yeah, and I'm doing this, and I have, like, fucked up. Well, I successfully changed it. Why is that still there? I don't know.

Also, that is, I mean, that's a while ago now. I feel like we could update that. Yeah. That seems like 30 years ago. Anyway, let's get out of that thinking. I have a cartoon coming out this week. That's why we're here. Yeah. Fixed.

Fixed on Netflix. There it is. I'm the dog in the. middle there. Oh, so cute. Yeah, it's cool. It's a great cast. It's Catherine Han and Inderselba and Fred Armisen and Bob the one hand. Beck Bennett, a bunch of funny people and this guy, Gendi Tertowski, directed it and did a lot of the animation. He's a fucking genius dude. Yeah. Yeah, he did Dexter's Laboratory and Primal and a bunch of cool shit. It looks artsy. It's, uh, it's 2D animation, so it's all hand drawn, which takes... Oh, I love that.

It's so long and is so expensive, and he did all the hotel Transylvanias and all that shit. But, yeah, he's a genius. The movie is insane. It looks like, it's like, it's like, Rennon Stimpy-esque, where it's, like, kind of makes you uncomfortable. You see a lot of dog buttholes. Yeah. But the premise is I find out that I'm going to be neutered, and I decide to have, like, one crazy night. And I escape, and we go to, like, a dog brothel house.

Yeah, yeah. You know, just get in all kinds of trouble. It's really fun. So it's not a kid. movie. No, no, it's very, very R-rated. Oh, it is? Oh, yeah. Wow. Are you good in a booth? I love it. I would like, oh, man, if I could just do this, you know how hard it is to, like, shoot a movie or TV show? You're there for, like, 14 hours a day. You're sweating. I'm usually, like, wearing a wool sweater or something, and you're in South Carolina in August. You're like, what the fuck

am I doing, man? Yeah, yeah. We get me in a t-shirt or something. And the waiting around. Yeah, and just hanging out, waiting and waiting and waiting to shoot. And then when you finally do shoot they're like hurry up we got to turn around we only got two takes just waited for an hour and a half yeah yeah like why don't we hurry up the camera the lighting guy yeah don't hurry up me the actor but you're in the top three of the call sheet probably right yeah when you're 40th like me yeah you wait long yeah you wait eight hours bro yeah yeah we'll get to you we'll get to yeah I've been on but keep the wool sweater all yeah I've been on sets where I go I'm leaving

They go, no, we need you. I know, I've been around long enough. Yeah. I'm looking at the shot list here. Yeah, I'll be back in leaving. Two hours. Two hours. And you have my cell. Yeah.

And I'll be here in five minutes. I'll run on this. They hate that. They absolutely. Why though? I know. I also don't get it. Because you're like, I'm an adult.

I'm going to go three minutes away. I'm going to go. There's a restaurant there that I can point to. I'm going to go sit there instead of sitting in my shitty trailer, eating this shitty craft services. Yeah. But they hate that. They don't like it.

Yeah, because when, I've never been to sit in an area where like, where is he? Yeah. Oh, he's at the Applebee's. That's never happened. That's never happened. Ever, in the,

I don't think this has happened the history of fucking showbiz. Yeah. I'll throw that out. There is a story where, oh, I'm blanket, Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis was like nowhere to be found.

And then they found him at a baseball game. They were like, let's look at all the bars in the area because, you know, like, see, like, have a drink. And so they're, like, looking at all the bars. And then they look up and on the television screen and they're like, we've got Bruce Willis in the audience. And he just up and went, he was like, sick of waiting. So we just went to a baseball game. And then they're like, hey, that cost us a million dollars or whatever because we had to burn the entire day.

And he just goes, I got you. And paid back a million bucks. Wow. How cool is that? I would love to do that. I would love to do that. When you're a lead of a... 30, 30 more seasons of Tiger Belly.

When you're a lead of an anime... Slow it down, Andrew, slow it down. You got... I'm so in my head, right? This Zinn is not helping. Oh, yeah, the Zinn. I'm freaking out. And then I took one of your sponsor things

and it's fucking working. Yes, please. Oh, my God. I shit my pants earlier. Okay. When you're a lead of an animated show or an animated movie, like, How long is like the shooting process or like recording process?

Oh, sometimes I've done one, Ferdinand the Bull. I was the, I was Ferdinand. I love Ferdinand. You were Ferdinand? Hang on. I recorded four years, dude. I did like 15, 20 recording session. And they're like four or five hours apiece.

And I'm Ferdinand the Bull. And it's been years and they're basically, it's fully animated at this point. And I'm the voice. and they're showing it to me, and I'm like, that's my voice. I'm like, I think it sounds good. And the director's like, I don't think it sounds good.

And then I get a call from all of my agents at one time. And they go, oh, here it is. They call. And usually when you get a call from all of your agents, it's awesome news. Because they all want to be on. Not for me like,

yeah, okay. They all want to be on to be like, hey, we got you this huge thing. Aren't you excited? We're all taking credit for it. But this is so it's like, hey, we got all the agents on the line. I'm like, huh?

And they're like, they're letting you go from Ferdinand the Bull. Your voice doesn't sound sweet enough. It has too much bite. Which I think I have a pretty... Very sweet. Thank you, Bobby. Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful.

Yeah, it's beautiful. And so they fired me immediately hired Johnson. The movie came out in like two months. It was like, it was just like ready to be done. When you got that call, did it hurt? Oh, I was definitely devastated. I mean, I still got paid. and everything, it was fine, but it, uh, it was, it was very, yeah,

Furnan in the bowl, put it, put it would have showed it. Help launch Mell's program for adults with disabilities. You guys, Bobby's assistant, Melanie, who's a really good friend of mine as well, has worked in special education, her whole career, her whole life. and she is raising money to hopefully start a program for kids who have aged out of the system. And I don't know if you know, but after 22, these kids with disabilities have nowhere to go. I mean, they have few programs here and there, but it's very hard to get in. And a lot of their parents are kind of left with no recourse.

So what Melanie is trying to do is she's trying to raise money to hopefully start a program for the kids in Pasadena, where she currently works to, you know, be amongst the kids. their peer group, be amongst the kids that they grew up with, and, you know, have a place to continue to, like, learn. Yeah, I mean, we were helping her. And then in my mind, I'm like, you know, this has got to be on a broader scale. So that's why we're talking now. It's very important to me. It's very important to Melanie and Kalila and the team. So we've already raised $4,000. But we need more. And our goal is 20. And please help. Let's do it. Every dollar counts.

The description is down below for her GoFundMe, and I'll be posting out on my Instagram story as well. So will Bobby. But it would have showed it. But this one was great. The director, Gendi, like, knew exactly what he wanted, and it took like two, maybe three sessions, and they were like, nailed it.

But you do what I do, though, as I don't really, you don't memorize it, right? No. I just show up and I'll highlight it. I'll put lines between the last way I slow it down That's just my own style, right? But you don't memorize it

No, no, no Okay. Yeah, in fact, like I don't even I'll read it once to see if I want to do the project And then I'll just show up Wow. Yeah. Now let me ask you this

Because I have, I'm doing a show A couple of things with Andrew, Santino Animated shows Yeah, okay You're doing a few animated shows Well, we have a Hulu pilot we did Oh, cool. For the bad friends animated shows.

Oh, sick. Yeah, and then we have, we're in that other thing and so they always put us together. Uh-huh. Wait, are you this guy? Mm-hmm. Oh, he's so cute. Call-Lah, what can I tell my story?

Sorry, I just saw the picture. Yeah. You look like droopy. Oh, he's cute. There's my butthole. He is cute. You see that a lot. Yeah. But if you're in there with your best friend and he gives you line readings, would you be mad? No, dude, me and the workaholics

guys would do it all the time. Well, just because you know each other so well and you're delivering it. Okay, good, good, good, good. And you're delivering it one way and you're like, I mean, I'll do it with honors and Blake all the time where I'm like, dude, if you say it how you say this and you'll crush it and then they do it and then you're a fucking genius and you just save the movie. Okay, that's good then. Yeah, so, because you, are you giving Andrew line

line reading? Never. He's always perfect. Yeah, okay. And it also experiments and they're like, yeah, we never thought of it that way. And then you're the one that's... Yeah, me, it's like, you know what I mean? We didn't really understand. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they go, and then look at me, dude. He'll go, look at me, dude, all right? You know when you go to watch your Arsenal FC play? I go, yeah. You know how when, you know, there's tension, and then all of a sudden they score? That's the feeling. And I go, okay.

And then he says, say it like this. Oh, and I say it like that. And then they're like, that's it. Well, see, he's helping you out. Yeah, every line? Yeah. Well, I'm getting out of it. Sometimes I nail it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so are you in class or are you taking it? I don't need a class, dude. You know, I'm not, you know, I'm good at acting when it's a conversational. Yeah. If you and I are 101 at a table. Okay. You know, Inspector Clousel.

You know, where was the mermaid's body? Whatever it might be. That was really. Wow. Yeah, I was just taken. Yeah, I was taken on a ride. Right, right. But what I'm not good at

If I have to do some sort of fucking I have to jump in Like two people are talking and have to jump in And say 10 things Yeah And also when acting Yeah Yeah yeah yeah

I can see how that can be an issue Where you have to act in the scene That's not what I'm saying No I know I know No no no Okay guy Can I just Yeah yeah

Yeah yeah Have you ever done a procedural show I haven't no Yeah have you No. Yeah. When you have to be a scientist. Those are hard.

You've been a scientist? No. Okay. Have you ever got a position? I watch the pit. You guys watch the pit. It's a cool show. But I'm like, oh, I could never.

I think if they offered me, they're like, hey, we have a huge arc for you on the pit season two. I would have to say, I'm going to have to pass. Can you pull up a couple lines from the pit? Because it's so jargon heavy. Like, you just, that's what I'm saying. medical stuff that I'm like my brain doesn't work like that at all and wouldn't be able to do this justice yeah that's I'm not a good enough actor it's not about acting it's about being able to memorize mundane things yeah if you see it what I've never saved lives well yeah they are saving

lives I know people that are like people that are in the medical field that also act and they do those parts fine because they know all the words yeah I just never heard of that that's hard You've never heard the words you don't know how to pronounce them. It's like you're speaking in another language while trying to act. That's what I'm saying. And I have been in... Let's try it out. Oh, God, damn it.

Holy shit. Well, I'll take a turn. We're in the pit. We're in the pit. I got a script similar... We can't even read anything. Yeah, because I'm blind. But can you zoom it in real good?

Yeah. Okay. Dr. Keller. Moving fast. You're going to zoom in really good. Okay. And by the way, you have to say it very, very good. fast. Okay. This is the ER, okay, baby. We're in the pit. You got to hit them with it.

Yeah, what are you doing there? High energy. Let's go. Text it too so you can read off your phone. Well, anyway, I have done procedural shows. Okay, which one? I did 12 Magnum PIs. Oh, wow. Sick. Okay, and I did a couple of NCIS. That show's been off the air for like 45 years. The new one. Okay. All right, all right. Okay, Hernandez. I was like, Jesus Christ. You know what's really scary is when you get cast in something and you only have like one sentence in the whole thing? That's like the hardest thing for me. And you have to show up and like hit that line.

I find it the same way where if if you just have one thing to say, then you put way too much pressure on the one line. Yeah. And you're like, I'm going to say it. It's got to be good when I say it. Okay, Bobby, here's the scene. Who am I? You're Dr. Keller. And I have to see all this shit.

And you are announcing what's happening to the room to your whole trauma team. Oh, fuck. Here we go, dude. All right. You're moving fast, and this is to your team. Yep. All right. Just give me a second, okay?

We're the team. All right. One, two. Everyone's going to do this? Yeah. All right, good. Blunt force trauma, open femur fracture. Oh, oh, oh, okay, let's think it back one more time.

Let's say femur. All right, let me give me a shot. All right. Sorry, guys. Yeah. Blunt force trauma. Open femur fracture. Probable compartment syndrome.

BP 70 over Pop. Map. Shut up. Maps tanking He's circling his ring Give me two units Zero Neg on the rapid infuser Stats

O NG, O NG, O NG Don't give me a line reading It's not a line reading We're the script supervisor I understand that I'm not done He's script supervisor He's script supervisor

Let me finish the fucking Let me get my take Let me get it out Okay All right so anyway That's how acting works You butcher something Get me two units

On NIG on the RAP Infuser stat Crossmats later wide more VIVs 16 gauge both arms Push one EP One MGIVP follow one gram TX8 loud now

We got dimensioned We've got dementia Breath sounds on the left Prep for chest tube Fifth intercoastal Mid as exhilarated Pretty sick front No time for Plavriac

I'm not even making fun Because I would do this That's pretty I can't do anything about My favorite is intercoastal All right You're going to get a shot You're going to get a shot too

Okay If I was the castor after I'd be like He'd be great as the patient Oh yeah You'd make a great Okay And that's You can't even

You can't even say Why did your parents Think about you This is really hard Yeah that's a lot This is a lot And Are you ready?

Me? Yeah you're next All right Okay here we go And fast It doesn't have to be fast I'm announcing loudly I'm moving fast

You're not No you I'm saying it loudly and clearly to my team. I'm moving fast, but being clear. This feels like an episode of the pit right now. This is the pit right now. Okay, here we go. We're the showrunner.

It does have to be kind of fast because he's circling the drain. Circling the drain. And action. Blunt force trauma, open femur fracture, probable compartment syndrome, BP 70 over paled, MAP's tanking. He's circling the drake. Get me two units, O'Neag and the rapid infuser's stat. Cross match later, wide bore IV, 16 gauge, both arms, push one of Epi, one MG IVP, follow with one gram TXA load now.

Get up! Bob, you get one more shot. No, everyone gets a shot. And, and, um, action. Blunt force trauma, open femur fracture, probable compartment syndrome, BP 70 over pulp, MAP's tank, and he's circling the drain. Give me two units, O'NeG. on the rapid infuser's stat. Cross match later,

wide bore IVs, 16 gauge both arms, baby. Push one of the epi, 1MGIVP, follow with 1 gram TXA load now. See, and by the way, fired, that wasn't the right energy. I was having too much fun with it.

I said baby. So I did it. I was not having fun with it. Yeah, and I had too much fun. And she nailed it. She nailed it. She nailed it. Yeah, you know.

And then we want to get a shot? Oh, it was a little too loud. And do the bear. This is the bear. Do bear style, montage. We're doing it bear style. You're Jeremy Allen White. We're wearing a tight white T with the slightly rolled up to show those triceps.

And action. We got Blum Force trauma, open femur fracture, probable commensile syndrome. BP 70 over palp MPA is taking circling the drain. Get me two units. On the rapid infuser stat. Crafts match later. coiled more IV 16 gauge both arms push one of the epi

one mega IVP and follow with one grab TXA over now yeah all right that was hard that was very I mean and the whole show is like that it's like it's insane and the fact that these guys can do it I'm like just give them the

Emmys like these guys are actors they're not doctors but can I get the next episode we ever do one together I'm going to memorize it wow this script Yeah, I'm going to memorize this script For a different show

I want to prove to you So I'm going to come back Dude Tiger Belly the next time A year from now Yeah When I'm putting something else Fixed 2 Yeah

It's such a hit on Netflix And I'm gonna go check it out Dude remember that thing Right? I haven't memorized Fully memorized I love that you won't memorize For Tony Scott

But you'll memorize To make you look better than collateral I'm just saying Bro Too real Too real I was young, man.

I was young, scared. You know what I mean? panic attacks, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, crazy. Yeah, only a specific kind of actor that can do. I think, Kalila, you could act in a show like that.

Only because I went to nursing school. Okay, well, that helps. That helps. Like, I know what epi is. I know everything here. See, what is an IVP followed by one gram TXA? IVP is IV. Okay.

So it's basically, instead of a drip IV, you're pushing it straight to the, yeah, fast. Yeah, and up and epinephrine. Yeah, and epinephrine. Epi is epinephrine. Basically, it's to, if their blood pressure is dropping, it's just... Yeah, I don't think people, do people really, like, let's suppose I was shot. Yeah, and I'm in a, you know, Gurney. You call it a GSW. Yeah, yeah, and I'm like being rushed into the emergency room. Yeah. Do people talk that fast? Yes. Well, yeah, because you're dying. Someone's dying.

I'm going to be like, oh, okay. One epi, empty, push. No, but what I'm saying is it's instinctual. It's like, I already know what to do. So why do I have to say it out loud? Because you're telling everyone, so everyone's on the same page. Well, what can they, let me restructure the emergency room then. Go ahead. All right? You're the epigy guy from now on.

You're pushing on the nurse then. Yeah, the nurse. Everyone has their own roles so you don't have to fucking yell out a bunch of shit. But you still do because you're assuming every gunshot wound is the same protocol. And it's not because what if you? No, no, no. Every gunshot wound's a little. A little bit.

Like, yeah, it's like, it depends. what it's looking like and you're going to And the doctor has to steer the ship You can't just let a nurse go wild You gotta say as the doctor Like hey we're doing this and she's like And she's a good nurse, she knows She knows yeah yeah but the doctor's gotta say it

Yeah right or else why do you go to I understand now Adam okay Yeah I fucking understand it now all right I'm glad you got it You know what I heard from a friend whose mom was an OBGYN Remember back in the day there was a rumor That Richard Gere was putting hamsters in his butt Yeah, that was the best

It was a fun rumor But apparently Why does that rumor get started? Because her mom says I think doesn't he seem like a hamster in the butt guy? Yeah, I could see that getting started But apparently because in the 90s It was a real thing

And then in her own practice She would get people with hamsters in their butts Stuck in their butts Who? I bet my friend's mom who was an OBGYN But why Richard gear? I don't know how it was. I think they just were dunking on Richard Gere.

He was too sexy. He's too hot. Got to take him down a pig. It's a weird thing to dunk on them. You know, Brad Pitt put spiders up his dick. What is that called? That's a thing? Wait, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not called docking. I just learned it. It's something where they put pencils and different things. I saw somebody put Christmas lights inside the penal hole. You saw someone do this? Oh, yeah, on video. And that was Santa. Santa.

No, and then they turned it on And his whole penis glowed And that was Ryan Gosling Yeah, so But no That's kind of cute, like a lamb Yeah, but Tom Sigura showed it to me That's actually a really cool thing to do

And everyone could do that It's very like performance art Yeah And that's safe for sure I remember as a kid My dad told We had this wild dog Who was just

Just eating the house And was scratching everything And we had to get rid of the dog which was pretty devastating and we went out to in the middle of the country and this farm and it was like a church in the middle of nowhere and this morbidly obese pastor comes out and he's just like this huge guy and he's like oh a beautiful puppy and we gave it to him and I'm like oh that's nice and then like a month later don't tell me my dad reads an article about this pastor who sits on dogs sexually and kills them and he got caught and it was not the pastor

that we gave our dog to. But my dad goes, oh, it looks like Rusty's dead. And he said that as a joke, but I'm six. So I don't understand the joke. So until like I'm like 28 or something, I thought that we gave our dog to this pastor who sat on our dog, our family dog Rusty, and murdered him. And I'm told a dozen or so people like throughout the year,

I was just being like, oh yeah, fucking crazy thing had to me. when I was a kid. Wow. Yeah. Do you have dogs now? No. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah, maybe I'm too scared.

You don't have any animals. Well, I'm gone all the time. I can't have a dog. You have a wife. Yeah, I have a wife. Well, I have a kid now. It's a human dog. Yeah.

You'll never have a dog. No, I'd have a dog. Okay. I'm not going to sit on them. I don't find that. No, what I'm saying is because of, remember Tommy? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So I had a cat, I may have told the story before, but my cat. It's a really sad. It's a sad. Where I go, I was like eight, I go, can we get a pet for me? And they go, okay, we'll climb. And I go, sweet as I'm. What? That's nice. So Tommy stayed in her garage, fenced in.

Every day for a whole summer, I played with Tommy eight hours a day. Yeah. I love this guy. And the one day I came home and he was gone. And I go, where's Tommy? Mommy Ammy Allergic

Tommy Kahn And I started to cry And then they just He goes Stop crying And then he went into the house And I stayed in the garage For hours

Crying Well I mean Tommy stayed in the garage Yeah Why is mommy So allergic she can't I mean I don't know

I mean that was I mean that was Yeah that definitely Fuck you up It fucked me up That's what happened And so I never had an animal until I met her.

Really? Yeah. And then we got seven animals. I would have, I would for sure have a dog. Like my character Bull in the Netflix hit movie fixed.

Yeah. Can I tell you a similar traumatic story like I've never shared because I, it's so sensitive. Oh shit. In the Philippines, we have nannies and they're called yayas. And these are people who are like

your second mothers. And I had a yaya yaya Betty who had been with me since birth randomly at the age of seven without much warning she got let go and this is a woman I had slept next to every day who took me to school brought me my lunch she was like my mom more so than my own mom and one day she left never to be heard of from again no explanation nothing

and is it going to go dark no it's not so for about four years ago I get a DM this is a core wound so think about like losing a mom. This is how I felt. For a month, I cried. I was like writing songs about her. And your parents didn't explain. I later found out that she was, might have been having an affair with my grandpa. Oh. Oh. But I don't know if that was true either. Anyways, about four years ago, I get a message on Facebook. And she's like, hi, darling. It's your Yaya Betty. And I like lost my shit. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I miss you. All of a sudden,

And I was seven again. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I miss you. I love you. Where are you? And she was like, I live in a farm now. I'm in the Philippines, this part, blah, blah, blah. And we were talking every single day. Wow.

And then out of nowhere, she ghosts me. She's like, but the last thing was she's like, you know, I'm an old lady now. And blah, blah, blah. It was like a sweet thing. She's like, happy birthday. I know that I always love you. And I haven't heard from her in the last two years. And then maybe in January, I was like, fuck, I'm scared to ask if she like died

because I had plans to go visit her. And so I was like, okay, let me just write her. I was like, hi, yeah, yeah, you there? Nothing. Oh. Nothing. How does that have to do with the cat? What the fuck?

Thank you for pretending. Thank you so much for being like, whoa, whoa. Oh, no, this is a traumatic event. That's a traumatic event for you. Well, what's just to happen to you? Yeah. Well, admittedly, that is pretty funny. I just tell some random old type story as well.

Well, did she find you just on, On Facebook? On Facebook? Is she listening? I'm on a mission to find... No, no, not at all. She's like, what are you doing now? Anyways, I'm on a mission to find my yaya Betty.

It's a core wound like Tommy. Oh, that's what it was. It's a childhood wound. You checked your Facebook messages for Tommy, you know? Maybe Tommy has a... Yeah, we're talking... What happened to Tommy? That's real good, dude.

You know how Tommy is dead by now. That was 50 years ago. You know that, bud. Right? That's real nice, George. Yeah. You fucking bass. Yeah, yeah's still alive.

We don't know. We don't know. Yaya might have passed. I do want to say that got dark. Yeah, he got dark. That's a pretty light podcast. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not as dark as the guy sitting on dogs.

Well, yeah, I guess I started it. Yeah, I started it. But by the way, it wasn't the guy who sat on the dogs. My dad just made a dark joke. And as a six-year-old in the backseat of his buickless saber, I was like I love how adults could just think it's okay to not explain something

Yeah well because I think I think I was in the car with his With my uncle and he was like Understood it was a joke It was like ha ha ha Chain smoking cigarettes With all the windows up Well now that you have a child

You're mindful about all these things They do fuck people up Yeah I gotta worry about I curse Bobby I'm not afraid to say the Fs and the S, that's fine. I feel like that's fine because if it becomes a forbidden fruit like it did in my

household, then you become, I'm the worst. I curse the most because I wasn't allowed. Oh, okay. Could go the other way. Yeah, I think I'm not going to, like, it's not forbidden, but you don't want your kid to go to school and be like, give me the fucking books. Yeah, or whatever.

Yeah. He's like, I'm ready to fucking read. He's like all about school, but he's still cursing. Even when you look at TikTok, when the people, parents crack the head on a baby's head. Oh, I hate that. Oh, the egg? Is that good?

I hate that. I hate the cheese on me when they throw like a slice of cheese. That's so not funny to me. It's so funny to me. Yeah. The last one I saw is a mother was like sticking her tongue out. Yeah. And she goes, pull on the baby.

And the baby pulls on the tongue. It's a fake tongue. Oh. Pull, takes the tongue out. And the baby's like freaking the fuck out. Do you think that's healthy? No, I don't think you also got to know your kid. I think,

My child would think that's hilarious. Like I think you, like some babies, you can really scare the shit out of them. Yeah. But my child is like, depending on how sensitive they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be very mindful about even saying or doing the wrong thing almost. You're very overpower. She has a baby.

She has a baby now. She has a baby now. You cannot. You can't have. No, hamsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hamsters up the butt. What did I say?

Hamsters. I said hamsters. Did you say hamsters? I think I did. Hamsters, yeah. Because she is a baby now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she's very paranoid.

Well. Well. Too much, too much. I think too much. No, it's because when you're a new parent, you just don't really know, like, how to do it. So you're scared of everything. And especially because like, I don't know.

That's exactly right. Yeah. You know, I think my wife went through the same thing where she was just, you know, you're just kind of petrified to do certain things because you don't know until you find a good rhythm. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're like,

oh it's not that big of a deal right probably the scariest thing I've ever done in my life yeah and I've been in some like fucked up like situations yeah yeah yeah it's very

yeah because you want to keep that's your main purpose yeah are you kidding me nothing else matters yeah yeah yeah you very much don't want the baby to die that's like one of the main thing that you do not want to have

yeah because you also would go to prison what's this you know oh is this the tongue thing yeah it's really traumatizing huh oh my god Oh, yeah, this doesn't

Look at that baby's face Yeah, yeah, that's cool And by the way, that is a 32 year old man Yeah, it's not a baby, that's Oh no Oh, poor guy Yeah, it's like God save me

Yeah And then 30 years old That baby is like pulling tongues Out of dead people's mouths And like doing some weird shit Yeah, it's just like killing hookers Pulling your tongues out As a psychopath

Let's go back to FIF And I want everyone to listen to me right now I'm 100% doing the cruise. I love that. Thank you for saying that. I'm glad we can take you for sure. Establish that. I like to talk shit.

Yeah. You know what I mean? But I didn't, just to defend myself. I never said, I just said broadly, I'll never do a cruise. But that's not what I meant. I meant doing like, you know, hey, do you want to do a week of standup on a cruise as just a comic? Oh, no. That's what I meant.

Kind of miserable. Yeah. I don't want to do that. No, no, no, no. But with a bunch of friends and, you know what I mean? you know, I mean, people... Yeah, he's doing, he's doing the cruise. Thank you for saying that.

I'm doing the crew. I'm doing the crew. You're actually obligated. You will get litigious. You're doing the cruise. Are tickets on sale right now? Yeah. I, yes, they are.

Yeah. Go to this cruise is important and get yourself a ticket to see Bobby because he's coming. And then, Andrew, you're going to go? I'm going to go. I love it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That sounds awesome. Will you be nervous then, too? Yeah, probably, but I am going to win. But, Andrew, can I just say something? Yeah. You're such a great comic. Yeah. You're a great actor.

You get a lot of women. That's swimming in it. One of those things was true. And God, you're a sexy. I appreciate it. I want to say, I am like very, do you know the other reason why I'm so inspired by you is because I'm from Iowa too. Oh, you are? Yeah, I grew up just knowing that you were the only Iowa comic that, like, made it.

Yeah. Yeah, there's not a lot of us out there. There's not a lot of Iowa comics made. Brooks, Brooklyn is also. Yeah. We're from the same town in Iowa. That's which one Waterloo, yeah

Did you wrestle growing up? I, yeah, when I was young Yeah, I was like eight Can I make an argument though? May I make an argument? Yeah. Every town's like that. What do you think?

What do I wrestle? Yeah. Like, you know, there's not a lot of stand-ups that made it from San Diego. That's where I'm from. I think there's a lot. Taylor Tomlinson. Yeah, there's probably more

than Waterloo Iowa. And there's places to do stand. Yeah, but okay, so I'm saying, I'm from Poway. Can I say that? Yes. Not a lot of people from Poway. Well, don't make up of... I'm just saying. All right, so, I mean...

Okay, these are all... Oh, look at... Nick Cannon. Just Nick Cannon, man. All right. Yeah, you? Yeah, there's some... Yeah, there's some... Pays on Love. Okay. Look up comics from Iowa. Yeah, comics from Iowa.

Kirk Fox. Wait, why weren't you in the Iron Claw movie? As one of the brothers? I'm so disappointed. I wasn't. Yeah, I don't know. I'm pissed. Look at this. They're all in black and white. Johnny Carson.

Johnny Carson. Huge. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, died 20 years ago. Black and white photo. Let's go look.

I'm not even on it because I'm considered a comedian from. Paul Rast and Coutcher. Yeah. You know, the world famous comedian, Ashton, Coochon. Yeah,

they've given up. Chester Conclin. They don't even know when the guy is, this is so long ago. They don't even know. He was born. Yeah. He died when I was born.

Yeah. Yeah. Harry Langdon died in 1944. That, I mean, yeah, look at this. Oh, Cloris Leachman. Oh, Tom Arnold. We had Clorice Leachman. We ended up cutting her scene out, but we had her in our movie Game Overman that we did for Netflix.

Oh, I love her. And she was the best. She was so sweet and so funny. But she said a very funny thing. She goes, who wrote this? did you write it? And I'm like, yeah, I'm one of the writers. And she goes, I don't get it.

Is that what you cut her out? Okay. I'm like, I have my list of people. I'm like, you're getting cut out, bitch. You don't talk to me that way. It must be a bummer to cut people out. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It just doesn't make sense in this. Well, it just, it was in the very beginning, and the very beginning just wasn't working, and we could just cut that out and just start the movie instead of this little... You're right. Yeah.

Yeah. Sorry, Kloris. R-I-P. R-I-P to her. Speaking of your projects, I want to give you your flowers for how good you were in gemstones, dude. Thanks, man. Oh, Gemstones were rocks. Yeah, thanks, dude.

Yeah, we're done with it. I'm a little bummed. Right now, we would be in the sweltering heat. I'd be wearing like a wool-ass cot or something shooting in South Carolina. But you and Tony, too. Yeah, they're right. Another great photo.

You and Tony together. You know, I've known Cavalero for years. Oh, he's the best. I love that guy so much. He's awesome. He's helped me many times, Tony. Yeah, he's, like, truly one of the nicest guys ever, too. Yeah, but he's really a pillar of, you know, I can't talk to.

But he's a pillar of, he's a trailblazer when it comes to mental health. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can say that, yeah. But he's a great guy, and he's willing to help anyone. you know and strange he's always super talented

he's always on the phone helping someone yeah and then I feel like a dick because they're like calling us to set and people are like where's Tony and I'm like Tony come on let's fucking go dude

like we let's go and then he's like talking someone off the side of a building and I'm like come on man we got to shit no Tony is one of those guys that if I'm really

fucking on the brink of you know I could call him and he would pick up oh he could pick up no he would pick up for me is what I'm saying yeah he would

but like yeah I would go I'd go yeah I'm good we'll text him don't you feel that about him though yeah yeah he's a great he's a great duo

so fucking fun got wildly shredded this last season yeah let me get you both I was I was a little bit like hey whatever is getting you this shredded I'm going to put $2,000

under your mat at your house if a baggie just shows up at my house so be it nothing ever came I'm $2,000 less rich Oh you think he

Anyway okay I get it Yeah I pocketed it What are the Jim Burroughs doing To get shredded? Are they like Microdosing GLP ones? I don't yeah maybe I think they are

I don't know Is that right? Yeah like you know you're a Zemphic They don't take it in like one big dose, they actually microdose it daily. That's how her Zepatitis, where I first heard about it, was not from the diabetic

community, it was from the gym bros. Really? Mm-hmm. Are you Zempi? Yeah. Is it working? 30 pounds, man. Fuck yeah. You don't notice? No, you look about the same. Oh, don't tell of that. No, but you were looking... Oh, double dose? But I haven't seen

you in years and you, maybe you put on the 30 pounds in the years and... Oh, yeah, maybe that, yeah. I mean, the last time I saw you, I was 30 pounds heavier, but anyway. Yeah. That hurt. Well, you hold it well. Let's move on a bit.

But, yeah, it's, I don't know where my journey ends with it. I think soon. I think that you're not doing something right. What? Did you drop 30 pounds? Yeah, he's not eating protein and he's not working out. He's just wasting away, basically. He's going to Scott Dissick route.

Yeah, yeah. You don't just want to be like skin and bones. Yeah, but I, you know, my, my, Bones ache. Oh, so bad. Like, even when I walk, my femur bones. He wants to use that word again. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be a sponsor by Wagovi.

Yeah, yeah. But I should eat more protein and drink water. And work out. And work out. And build your muscle. It sounds awesome. I'm like, I feel like I should. If you look at a, no.

Yeah, if you got a. How tall are you? Like 5.8? Okay. Yeah. What? Okay. Was there a follow question?

Hold on. I always thought you were 5-6. No. No. No. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. But so, I'm 5-8. Yeah, you're 5-A. Yeah, see. How tall am I on the internet? On the internet. It's a lie, the internet about, I think your heights a lie. 5-5.

Five. Look at that picture. Oh, that's a sick. That's actually. That's a sick photo. Dr. Strange. I don't know. Mine was like, I was like, I was.

It's just shirtless for no reason. I'm like, I don't know why that was the photo that they, they chose. Wow, okay. Anyway, you look good and I'm going to see you on the thing. Did you have fun on this pod? I always have fun. That was so fun. Can we do one more thing before Adam goes?

Okay. I want to give you Bobby a redemption. Got a little script. Very simple. Everyone in the room. And Bobby, you're going to be the last line. Lock in. Okay, hang on.

Hold on. Can you read it first or no? Send it to me, Gil, because I can't read it from here. So you got one line. Look at yours. Oh, no. Okay, got it. Got that right there?

I can read it. Okay. That's you, Collier, right there. Do I have the most difficult line? Just be prepared. Okay. All right, here we go. Interior Trauma Bay, night.

Fluorescent lights glare. Double door slam open is paramedics rushing with Bobby Lee and a gurney, pale and bleeding. Monitor's deep and chaotic rhythm. Nurses move fast as Dr. Adam Devine steps in, gloves snapping on. G.SW Belly, Andrew IVs. Oh, wait. No, those are all your lines. Those are your directions to them.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Your doctor. And action. GSW belly, IVs, Oneg, mask him if he drops tube him. Or now. Oh, are now. It's supposed to be easy for you and hard for him. Let's think it's miss off.

I literally wanted to chat GPT said, give Adam easy line. GSMBELY, GSMBELY, GSMBELI, IVs, ONeg, mask him, if he, drops tubum OR now. On it. Yep. Clot meds drip pressure. Bobby's eyes snap open. He grins faintly.

Doctor, I'm presenting with acute trans-prudational ballistic injury-causing hypervillin shock, probable grade five, hepatic laceration, retropressure and bleed, tavernatic rupture, menadastial shift,

paradoxial respirations, evolving, disimated, infractual, Coaglation, multi-organ failure, subclinical, electrolyte, imbalance, and subtle, profanion neuropringing. Jeff Goldblum.

Feltx. He feels spicy. Beat Dr. Devine's eyes. He's fine. That was so hard. He was so hard. You actually did better than I thought.

That was terrible. He didn't get one word one. that I thought he was going to do it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah, he said bleed correctly. I think he said shock correctly and injury. Oh my God.

That was so fucking hard. Anyway, give Adam Devine a round of applause. It's so good. in the heart of the feet of the Bougu Kani I'ma boololin Oolong kaya, madong dung,

dung, I'm bompola, show, who I do,