TigerBelly - Adam Ray Lost Bobby's $50k

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Adam does Kirk Fox. Bobby loses to Gilbo. Khalyla loves a Nom. We chat chakawanga maniscalco, stuffed mushrooms, a Wendy WIlliams' queef, veneers, and late-night shows. 

Here we go headphones are no don't be nervous. I feel your fall your heart. I feel like you're gonna be nervous What people do don't be nervous, man? I don't you're gonna be great Does it look better without no? I mean let's catch let me see it without Both look good. Yeah, what do you do with the little magic guy? He's not on the table. So what up brad? Come on out I'm glad to that was the last time you did it with Brad? Oh man, 20, it's probably been three years since. That was a good podcast. It was fun, yeah. I'm still doing it, just me.

Well, what happened? It's not as fun. Doing it by yourself is not as fun. Well, we happened to little guy, huh? He had a baby. He had a baby. That's right, that's right. Asian dwarf baby.

Yeah, yeah. Whoa, yeah. One time he goes guys like us, man. He goes, yeah, I swear to God, he goes guys like us get like taller women and I wanted to look at I'm not No, guys like us what do you guys like us? I use the normal urinal Brad. Yeah Anyway, uh, do you ever a point where you like did question your um bodily proportions? No, I went because my parents Provided the doctor this and I don't have it. Dwarfism? Yeah. Yeah, I think there was a 50% chance of his kid having it.

I don't know what the true... He does have it now. Brad hasn't. He's always had it, Brad. He really? He has it now. Yeah, he has it now. Yeah.

Yeah, he, I don't know, there's so much you get to learn about dwarves too, just like being around Brad. Like, did you know that he could drive? That's so crazy. No lie. Yeah? I thought he just flew around on a dragon. And he was like, oh really?

Yeah. We were sitting at a Laker game once, and he had a vitamin water at his feet, and he picked it up with his feet, and chucked it up to himself. He goes, yeah, what am I gonna get off the chair that I'll take an hour? Yeah.

And he's like, so I just, he's like, I throw, he grabbed it with his feet, and chucked it up to his legs. That's a very Filipino move to, though. Is it? Yeah, we do flip stuff a lot. Yeah, you guys love feet. We crack open things.

Yeah, we crack open things. We pick things up with our feet. Yeah, everything's lumpier and feet with you guys, huh? That mom was Filipino. I heard about it, all right, Pete. I heard about a theory about a little people. What's that? And I don't know if it's true or not,

and I'm not sure if it'd be mean. Yeah, but it gets you thinking. Go ahead. The floor is yours. Whatever. By the way, this is a great setup, right? And sometimes someone's like, I don't wanna be mean, I don't wanna be racist.

It's not, no, it's a scientific question. Please. So a friend of mine says, you know, every little person I know, their breath smells. Oh God. And another female comment goes, yeah, because their buttholes are so closer to their mouth.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. And I went, it's food for thought their buttholes are so closer to their mouth. Oh. And I went, it's food for thought. It's got me thinking. It's got me thinking. It's got me thinking. By the way, if Bobby hosted a talk show, this would be a spason. And you'd be like,

and when we come back, when we can teach you guys how to make a cool holiday bell, don't go anywhere. So it's, I don't know. You think like just shorter people in general, then, like Shakira or you or Kim Kardashian are at Esther Povitsky. It's so rude what you're saying, because I'm gonna say,

do I have bad breath, breath? No you don't. Then there we go. Do you go out of your way to have nice breath? Like are you, you know, minting it up? Are you just brushing consistently? No, you just doesn't have teeth that would smell. Okay, that's rude.

Awesome. I have some. No, but he really doesn't have bad breath. I don't have bad breath. But I'll tell you what, that's kind of a deal breaker, no? The worst. I think that breath might be. The worst number one deal breaker for me.

Yeah, that's not my pussy. I can't do it for me. Like stinky butthole or bad breath. Would you rather have stinky butthole or a stinky pussy? I know. A stinky pussy can change. Get your stinky pussy. Get your stinky pussy.

Get your stinky pussy. Get your stinky. Get your stinky butthole. Get your stinky butthole. You don't think you were gonna get the thinking on this part. Yeah, yeah. You know big-and-man. You don't think you were gonna get the thinking on this part. Yeah, yeah. You know what, Stinky butthole, I'm not down there. It's often, so I'd say I'd take also a butthole.

If you're surprised at a butthole, it stinks. That's on you, yeah. It's like when you hear someone walk into a bathroom and they, like, especially like a men's room, they go, oh, it smells like shit in here. It's a fucking restroom, like, people are pooping. Right. So I don't know, but I'm not down there.

I don't like when men are hardcore into their keto diet. That breath, like, what is that? You know breath is just really foul. Ultimate con mouth. Fruity, but like, also shitty. Yeah. Can I make a thip, a point?

Sorry, please. Oh, that's right. I was gonna make 30 seconds ago. Think you could just think you buttole. No, I think we should. Even before that, before that. Let's go back. I love you, man. I was gonna make 30 seconds ago. You think you're thinking buttoles? No, I think we're what. Even before that fuck case. Let's go back. I love you, man.

Thanks for coming. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm sorry I shouldn't call people that. No, please. It's a term in a vendermen. You have to have, we're at that level where you can call me anything. I have some things I want to talk about.

Please. But let me get to it. But you know, I've been dating, I dated a girl that's much taller than me. Sure. And I go, how come in bed? It doesn't seem like you're taught, because she goes, you have a longer torso.

Let me see your torso. It's your legs that are small. You do have a little... Correct. Yeah, yeah. You have little nubby stumps. And she's a short... No, wait, wait, what?

Nubby stumps. I think you said you have nubby stumps. Yeah, yeah. No. For legs, no. Say something else, because I don't like that terminal. Okay, it's a turdful. You got it's hurtful, dude You've got

shorter knees Better. Yeah, great. Thank you better better better. I wouldn't know how long can we measure your thought? It's not right now I just want to see real quick Okay, so your hip starts here and then your knee. Oh my god his thighs like this. Yeah, it's pretty. It's awesome. It's as it always been like that. What's this the war? Yeah, great. I lost it during the war dude. What are you talking about? Yeah, man? Anyway I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do.

I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do.

I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I don gonna stand by me. I'm gonna stand by me. I'm gonna stand by me. Yeah, you know that song? Very good song. It's about water. Is it really? And then fresh of water.

You're in the protein of water. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Aaron Brockovich, bad water. That's a great thing. Not moving. There's bad water in that movie. Yeah, bad water. Is that what it's about?

You never seen it? I have, but I forget. Yeah, that's what it's about. Who goes around remembering the plot of Aaron Brockovich? I do. Okay. P-G-S-G-P-S-G-P-G-S-G. It's not anyway.

So this next guy, this guy, I've had ups and downs with I guess, you know, let's be real. When friendships go long, right, there's ups and downs. And I think we're in upswing right now. Oh yeah, very big upswing. Very big upswing. Very big upswing. But I could feel there were some downs.

Really? Yeah, and I'm, we're gonna talk about that in a second because I wanna bring up the first thing first, is, you know, you know, we used to do the road together. Oh yeah, open for me. Yeah. And I've told this story many times. A blast by the way, let's talk about the positives

before we steer it. That's good. Negative. Negative first. I wanna go negative first, yeah. And there's a story that I told, and I think, you know, because you know I lie and exaggerate, and sometimes I don't know where the truth is,

so it's like, there's a story between you and I told, but I don't know if it's true. Yeah, so I would like you to tell it. Please. The Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. Gambling. Yeah.

So tell. So, I think this was 20 I say 2011 maybe 2010 Wow Wow So 13. Yeah, I was about three four years in the standup. Yeah Bobby saw me at the comedy store and goes Wow, man, you're I don't want to miss coach. You be like you're the funniest white Jew boy I've ever seen I know you're the for a Jew book for For a ju- Fuck, you're like that. You've got nubby stuff, no. Something about, I've inspired by- But a story of it.

Yeah. And so we went on the road and having a blast, going to Marjano's like we- Oh, we used to love Marjano, man. What were we used to get? Oh, man, me, Paul. The mushroom soup. The mushroom soup.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The little, the little filling stuffing in the Oh, the mushroom stuff stuff stuff mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, you like that. What's wrong? Oh? Nothing I'm listening. No, you did something. What did I do? Sorry? I was looking that was insane. I was looking for candy No, no for candy there. No, I was the donuts are coming, but I found my candy. You give it to do this during the thing where you went but I found my candy. You give it, don't do this during the thing where you went. Oh, you're my step. I saw it out of my brief.

She's trying to be so cute. I saw it out of my brief. I saw it because it makes it guess, it makes it guess, it makes it guess, it makes it guess you're not trying to get the story. I feel like I'm pretty secure, but yes. No, here, can I explain myself? You said, you fall.

And then my hunger started to kind of, she started, that was your meatball look? That was my meatball look. I was like, oh my god, I'm hungry, where are my norms? What are those, norms? Yeah. I love. That was my meatball look. I was like, oh my god, I'm hungry, where are my gums? What are those? Gums? Yeah. I love gums.

Gums are the best. No, I know. I know. You've never had gums? Gums are the best. It's better being at. What kind? Do they have the ones with the squirt?

It's not an ad. This is just, we just love them. Filipino meatballs. Why? I've never seen somebody that I've even tried. Oh my, oh my God. They're gummy bears. They're gummy bears.

They're my, they're my favorite. There's a thing that they put on there. What is that stuff that they put on there? Oh my God. Are they gummy bears? No, but they're meatball bears. There's a thing that they put on there. What is that stuff that they put on there? Well, they're covered in Lee Hing and Lemack's Boat. Yes. Which I think I went to high school with both those kids. Yeah, yeah.

Was she a street fighter? By the way, I did go to high school with a Vietnamese girl named Beech Ho. Yeah, yeah. B-E-C-H-H-O. And everybody was like, yo, Beech, your mama's a ho. Your daddy's a ho. I just like, yeah, you get the donuts. Thank you. All right. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, please just try one of these. Yeah, try one for it. Before we go to the Yeah, the burst the bursts are good. I am fired. I love these. Where did you uh? Oh, this is okay. It's in the white Hawaii Now tell me this does Hawaii are they just ahead of the curve as far as treats go? Candy, yes. I think Asia too, in general. Japan for most stuff, right? Yes.

But Hawaiian candy, yeah. Yeah. Why is that? I don't know. I just go to the crack seed store and I, everything there is just infinitely better. Wow. I'm tasting a little bit of Lee Hing on that. What's my Lee Hing?

Hey Lee, I don't know what you fucking, on these bears, baby. You like them? It's like better than that. What's the American one? Forribo. For, that's the gummy bear. Gushers.

Oh, gushers with a little juice inside. Anyway, let's move on. Okay. So for a lot of those, speaking of sweet treats, with the for a lot of daily improv. So I'm doing the for a lot of improv. Sold out, by the way.

It was sold out? Oh, even back then? All your improv, sold out. By the way, it was sold out. Oh, even back then? All your shows were sold out. I remember you left me a voice man, I was just still had it when we were in Seattle and you're like, hey man, take it easy this weekend. Don't crush too hard. I know your family's gonna be in town,

I know you're gonna fucking take it up a notch because you step dad's here and you wanna impress them and get them to love you like the real dad didn't, whatever you said, I get them paraphrasing. Oh that's right, yeah. You go take it whatever you said. I get a paraphrasing. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You go take it down a notch. You're abandoned. Cause Bobby,

the four-hour day improv big room, you came and I think right before you had to go on, chucked a red bull, you know, like how are they? I was like unbelievable. And you get up there, you're like, fuck what am I gonna do? Mm-hmm. And then you go up there, you murder.

We get off stage, out in the lobby. Bobby's like, let's am I gonna do? And then you go up there, you murder, we get off stage, out in the lobby, Bobby's like, let's go to my gianos. I was like, I'm gonna go outside and hand out some stickers and try to get some fans. I made a couple gals. That's right. And one of the girls was pretty pumped about my set. And I'm in the feature spot, the easiest spot for comedy.

I'm doing, you're letting me do 30 minutes, sometimes 45, if you didn't show up on top. I think San Jose improv, I did an hour and 15 minutes in the feature spot. So, no, I'm, see, he's out chasing tail. Okay. So, this Gowne, I go to a couple bars, we have a good time. And I'm thinking, what, I mean, I'm still in this new spot

of even, you know, having people, I'm like, I don't know what the move is and just kind of let and heard kind of drive the ship. And then we go back to the hard rock. And Bobby's like, I'm going to go gamble. Let me know when you're done making our steaks. And was it a mistake? I remember it being pretty fun. But here's why I think it was a mistake.

It was a mistake. It was a fucking mistake. Yeah. Get to the mistake. So I'm up. So I don't know if you guys keep your phone on or the light son or the music on, but I try to put things on airplane mode. Silent mode.

Silent mode is I, I wanted no distractions. Yeah. I don't want to hear, you know, bent, bent, bent, bent, bent, bent, that's my ringtone for Bobby. And I had some leeching gummy bears and some rubbers and I wanted to make sure everything was hunky-dory and I looked down on my phone afterwards. Couldn't have been more than, I don't know, four or five minutes and I looked down I see

like 40 missed calls from Bob. And I'm like, somebody's dead. That's what I mean, you go to, somebody died. Or my second thought was, oh, I think he's gambling and I think he won a lot of money. And I think he needs me to do something about that in a way that helps him collect said cash. So I mean, he call him back and he goes,

what the fuck are you? And I go, I'm upstairs, I was having some fucking gums. What's going on? He was like, I just won, I think 40 or 50,000 dollars at the slot machine and I didn't have my ID on it. I need you to come down here quickly to claim my prize. And I was like, fuck, I'm on my way. And by the time I go down there, it's too late.

What do you mean it's too late? So I guess that, you know, I didn't have any identification. identification. Which is the ear fault. I know, but I'm also playing the club. Yeah, I know. Right, I'm headlining the club. The posters everywhere.

The posters everywhere, so I mean, just give me some slack. Just give me some slack, right? And they go, no, we need a hard copy of your ID. So what I was gonna do is, when it rang, I knew this instinctually. I was like, I'm gonna call Adam, he's gonna sit where I'm sitting. Yeah. The problem is his buzzer's going like ringing. Everyone's staring at me because I won the thing, right?

So I'm like calling Adam like so we can get there. So he can go, I won, he gets the money. I would've given him a percentage. Yeah. And we could have moved on, right? Then they go, you can't, you got there too late, I ended up going to like the offices with a native chiefs, or something like that. And they go, here's what we're gonna do.

Yeah. You take, we'll be, you take, blame, go, get your ID and then fly back. I might, I might, and collect the money. Yeah, my passport. But since Florida, I, and collect the money. Yeah, my, okay, passport. But since Florida, I'm not gonna fly back. What would you do? Yes, 100%.

I'd send him, I'd fly him back. I'd really, I'd still use about 20, 25. That's still a lot. Okay, look, yeah, really, it was like 20, 25,000. Yeah. Okay, look, I would have sent him back. That night, take a red eye, come back. Yeah. Totally. And then give him a 10% of it.

Not even, almost just like this is what you have to do for not being available. I would have done it. Well, the problem was we had almost everywhere. We think about that. Camper's everywhere. They would have maybe seen me sit down. Well, how long ago was this? Of course they had cameras.

2011. No, what they wanted, I would have had to get on a flight, drive, and drive back. You could have had someone do that for you though. I fly, I mean, fly, fly. back. Yeah, you could have had someone do that for you though. I fly, I mean, fly, fly. What? Yeah, Adam could have done that. Oh, so fly back to LA, and then fly back with my ship. Kick him off a grand for his troubles.

Okay, maybe, I'll even sick comfort. To me, in my mind, I was like, I wouldn't even have best preferred. I don't know why it was a word to me for some reason. I was so angry, but anyway, and did I use that against you in any way? I don't think so. You never know and me for some reason. I just, I was so angry. But anyway, and did I, we use that against you in any way? I don't think so. You never know and collected the cash.

No, no, that cash is just sitting at the hard rock and Fort Lauderdale. I wonder if you can go on that cloud. Yeah, can you go back now? And just be like, look, do you need, roll back a cat mask? Four or ten years ago? You never gave me a timetable. I might be.

You gave me a timetable. Oh. Give me a timetable. How about this? We film it, we go back. We collect the cash, and I find that girl, and we get her to... Testify.

Testify. Okay, yeah, testify. And she's like, yeah, I was upstairs having a very sub-park, man. So I'm like, you fucking, you said it was great. I was like, is that why I'm here? Yeah. So we haven't introduced, so Adam Ray is a comment.

He was in the movie, the heat. He was in the movie, the new Barbie movie, a couple of lines right in that. And then he's also... You know, they did a revival, Matt TV. Sure. So they relaunched Matt TV. He was a cast member on the new one, which lasted the year.

Last year played Vince McMahon on Young Rock. Right, it was you, my two favorite guys, you and Amir. Oh yeah. Amir, okay. I mean, come on. Well, having you come back was a very special thing. Having all the cast come. I remember me and I doing that shark tank.

Yeah, that was so fun. Really funny. You were there. Yes, I was there. When you guys were like, we're pitching the game catch. And then you came back with like fake glasses and a mustache to like pitch. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was really funny. She like that was really funny. Unfortunately, they got into a situation where standards and practices cuffed the writers. And they were like, we can't, they're telling us everything we come up with is too edgy and offensive. So by the end of the day, they were like, we can't, they're telling us everything we come up with is too edgy and offensive. So by the end of the day, they were like, just what, like, what can we write that's gonna get approved?

So they, it made them go, well then fucking, why are we gonna put our best foot forward when it's gonna get chopped off? And so, so then, you know, Casimir's we got to write some of her own shit, which was cool, but a bummer. I think there was a true opportunity for that to SNL was not. Such an institution.

You could have, I mean, you guys could have really come back and been a part of it and like would have been great. I don't think that wasn't like an SNL thing where you see some of the celebs come back and play. Like having out ball and play Trump was cool, but it's like, man, he just took a job away from somebody on the show, which is kind of fucked. The end of Carver was always telling me that

when he was seeing that, he was like, I can't imagine being on the cast and having them have you as the cast member and being like, we're gonna go get somebody else to do what you could probably do. Like what a mind fuck. Yeah. But that was fun. And so I wanna go back,

let's, I wanna get some of the bad juju out of the line. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you have to say juju? Oh, that's right. And. Sensitive. The very sensitive time.

Yeah. The very sensitive time and you're right. Yeah. And I don't, you can't even say, I want some juju bees, the candy. All right. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. And this is a time period where every time I saw you, you were a little distant with me. And I wanna be real for a second. Yeah.

Was there, don't shake your head. Yeah. Was there any kind of resentment you had toward me? Because I could feel it. Wholeheartedly, those could pause. Yeah, you would do it. I'm, no, I'm trying to think about how to articulately communicate. Have a numb, just. I would. I No, I'm trying to think about how to articulately communicate.

Have a nom, just. I would. I would have a nom, great. And articulate. Hand mix to perfection. So somebody's in there grinding up these noms. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and these are a collab with my friend Xavier.

So. Oh, these are, oh, these are great. Oh, how does? Everybody needs a Xavier in their life. Yeah, he's the best Xavier in all the Xavier, so. He's okay, move on. I think he's the best. I know Xavier Cook, he's a writer, go ahead.

So, so pretty good too. I can confidently, wholeheartedly say, genuinely, without question, never, truly, ever had any ill, ill, negative feelings or animosity towards you in any way shape or form. I'm gonna say, because you've given me no reason to. Let me ask you this.

Yeah. This is the first time you've been on Tiger Belly. Second. Yeah. Oh. You've done it before? Yeah. The original one.

We went to the whole department. We went to some Mr. Rogers two days before, and then we did the podcast. Oh, that's right, that was so long ago. Yeah. welcome back. Thank you. Welcome back. Welcome back.

I remember. Yeah, just fucking it. Yeah, I'm happy. You know, okay, yeah. Oh, let's move on to the. Look at this, Swabby. Oh, yeah, so that was back in the old. Yeah, that old.

Amazing. Wow. Who's that? That's me on the right. That is? Yeah. Okay. That's right. That's me. Yeah, with that little bird's eye view camera. I remember, dude, look at that room. That is? Yeah. Okay. That's me.

Yeah, with that little bird's eye view camera. I remember, dude, look at that room. Look at that room, dude. I missed that. I was in the early days, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Monday.

Monday, dude. Now, let me ask you guys, yes. Do you, I mean, what you've grown this into is pretty special. Do you look back at stuff like that? And, and, and are you immediately transformed back to that time? Or are you so just present, moving forward, clicking? No, it makes us, you know, reminiscing in nostalgia,

and a little sad about it. Sad, but. I even miss the kind of relationship, because like, you know, like when we were a couple, we always wanted to be like, let's get the house, let's get the house. But we had a ton of fun in that tiny little. Fuck yeah.

Yeah. Living with all the animals, like, and we were just so cramped, but we, I don't know, it was fun. With seven animals in that little two-better room. But now you have space for your knick-knacks. I feel like all these little statues and figurines were just covering that.

Yeah, yeah, pal. Yeah. Yeah, pal. I remember we played FIFA once. That's right. And I was so bad. And I that could have been a moment where anyone looking from the outside and been like, that was the end of their friendship because I embarrassed you so much. I think it for an e and a word or somebody.

Did I really, did you really beat me? I beat you and you got very angry. Like a kid when you beat me the other day. Oh, oh my god. Are you angry? Because I was like, what do these buttons do? And I feel like in in a different time, you would, because I beat you,

I've scored on you before in the old house, you would be very upset, right? No, but I felt like he was really like restraining the anger this time, because they played at the airport before, like as our flight got delayed five hours. A crowd formed. I know, and then I wasn't there,

but they emerged and I knew something was wrong. I was like, oh, he's not well. He's out. It was a different thing wrong. I was like, oh, he's not well. He's And then I find out that Gilbert had beat him back to back. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're right. It was for no Stop, they could be take it in. I got a nom I think I am nom. You can't get a nom, nom, nom, nom. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no even gloating when it happened. I was like, oh, what are you doing? You're a bad happy girl. You was fucking gloating. I know you're fucking, but he was staying. I don't know what came over me every time I swam.

I was looking at everyone in the building. I was, I'm out of your fucking mind. The audience has to understand, Bobby is very good at FIFA. So if you beat him, what the fuck is happening? Yeah. Oh my god. Swam.

Anyways, let's go back to you. You beat me once. Bitch of once. Yeah, unexpectedly my god Anyways, let's go back to you you beat me once Yeah, I'm expectantly big mistake like read a one or something. Oh, right. There was no In front of his friends to there were a couple people there. What didn't you? I'm like chinchilla's or something? Yeah, it ends good at it Right, is he good at it? I think so air Griffin It's my favorite with Ian right now because Manchester United is so bad. Oh, they just lost, right? No, they won again. They finally won again.

With Arsenal beat Man City? Yeah, we did. Anyway, what a beautiful day. Have you watched that David Beckham documentary? I got down low to have a city. Have you seen it? No, it looks okay. They're really funny.

Posh is so funny. Really? So funny. She's a spice girl, right? They had to. Yeah, but also, you don't know this about him, but David Beckham is like extreme OCD with cleanliness and symmetry. So like they were like, oh, like, what is your house?

Why does your kitchen always look perfect? And he was like, when the day is over, I go down and he does every tiny. He's very meticulous about how he wants his home. Wow. He knows it's amazing what teeth do. I liked his old teeth. Do you understand what I'm saying? I got some veneers and I was just cleaning every fuck or- Pre-teeth?

Pre-teeth. He could have been like a dock worker. No one would give a shit. I disagree. Really? I disagree. He's always been hot. He's-

He's a wee bit baseline hot and I think he was hotter with a fucked up teeth. Wow. Veneers are not attractive to me. Yeah, okay at all. You don't have them do you yeah We have a nearest well, I have these these Chipped I had four severely. I had to get them you needed. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah They were I mean it was like I smiled it looked like looked like, you like, should I pee in that guy's mouth? That's a urinal. You don't look like you have any ears,

because you're well done. It was also very small, the chips were on the two front teeth and on the sides. So they basically, you know, it was either- What about your fucking hair? Is that real? That's real, baby. Yeah. Oh yeah.

No plugs. Fuck no, I'm working on a Kirk Fox too, you wanna see it? All right. I mean, I'm so good. I Fox to you want to see it all right? So good. Oh my god. It's so good. It's gotta be good Oh my god. It's so good. Wow, you're great. I love donuts coming Great be tired for the It's impressions hard. I don't consider myself an impression. I know, but you do, you're so good at it. The Kirk one I like did the air day,

and I was like, I think I can see, if I can see the person, and then it's, right, yeah. I've never, I've tried in the mirror, but it's like, can you do anything? No, not one at all. I do a Sebastian. I can't even do it.

Well, give me a, give me one line, maybe I can do it. Okay, how about this, say, yeah. Oh, yeah. See? That's the start. You're doing something with your face, so you're transforming. Well, give me a what would you give me one line maybe I can do it. Okay. How about this say? That's the start you're doing some with your face so your transforming and he's don't nuts That's it. Yeah, why so I can't do yeah, why so what though? What do you say? I know I see you do don't I'm not really repeat after you okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah Donuts I always sound easier when I do a press. Oh, donut.

Ah, donut. Donut. Well, that's a big, yeah. You know, you're an impression that you did in when we were the DC improv. I don't know if you've ever actually done this bit. I don't know if I talked about it last time. We were at the DC improv,

more walking around all the monuments. And we're at the Martin Luther King, the Lincoln Memorial. Yeah, we're very, very nervous. And I go, and he goes, we're standing up there, and he goes, he goes, we need a Korean, Martin Luther King, and then he goes, I have a dreaming. That one day, white people will do the

Ohndry cleaning. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, do you do that? I'm not allowed, yeah. Yeah. I have a dreaming. Yeah, me. That white people will do their own laundry.

Yeah, that's a good impression. Yeah, maybe, that's not an impression, that's a good idea. I got it with an Asian accent. Yeah, right, okay. So, maybe that's not an impression. That's a good guy with an Asian accent. Okay. Yeah, so okay, so fashion donuts I don't know he's almost he over this let's double it up But the hand thing is let's do an Asian Asian Sebastian Monos go. Oh, okay, if you can do it. You tried to you try to have you do this at the Tiger But we did that that girl. I'm not having

You tried to have you do this at the Tiger Band. If ever we did that, that girl, I'm not having it. No, I'm in, so I'm in, listen, listen. I was fully ready to, so what I was thinking. This is an alternate universe, right? You know, stand up as huge in China, right? I'm in the audience, and there's a guy named

Chamanankangol. Chamanankangol. Yeah, Chamanankangol, right? And I'm like, I love Chamanankangol. He's observation is a suprapani. Yeah, Cha Mananganko. Right? And I'm like, I love Cha Mananganko. His observations are so funny. Yeah. Oh, there he is. He's going up on stage.

Yay! Cha Mananganko! Oh, Mananganko! Yay! Good need you, huh? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Don't, don't, a little Asian accent. It can't just be straight Italian. Donuts. Yeah. What's the reaction?

Donuts. I don't, I don't, I don't that side. When you put the icing on the top, you'll be like the bebeddy, beddy, care for. Oh, fuck, I don't know. Flip it, flip it. I love it, I love it. I love it. I don't know. Clip it, clip it. I love it, I love it. I love it.

Anyway, I don't think that's my strongest accent. It's fine. Beddy, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, coming out Boston. Well, that looked fun. It's amazing. What an amazing night. Also, I was so scared because I completely lost my voice two days before. You were sick, I saw. Yeah, two days before I couldn't even talk. Yes.

And then they got me on steroids and stuff and I was able to get it out. But anyway, we're on stage and it gets, I love it when Andrew does an Asian accent. Yeah, he's good at it. Yeah, but it's fun, that's fun. Yeah. But I was on stage and I'm like, in my mind,

I'm like, how do other Asians feel about it? Oh yeah. Right, so I'm gonna ask these guys. Well, if you're not there as a kind of a gauge, I think it's maybe a little different. Yeah, yeah, maybe, but it's like, it's also not malicious. It's not malicious, but how do you feel about why dude's doing an agent act?

It has to be funny, and Andrew does a very funny one. Okay, good, that's my, that's my, it has to be funny. The intent is not to put down, it's just, it's always to serve the bit, I feel like, right? Yeah, and funny ones. And funny ones. I mean, I've always wanted to do comedy that reaches

everyone, you know what I mean? That's just been my thing. What's your demo right now? Like blackmills? What do you worry about? No, no. But anyway, when I'm in the, you know, I'm front of them and I, you know,

he does it, it makes me laugh. But, you know, in my mind, I'm like, oh, there's not a lot of Asians here. Is that why, but not? Because when we do target belly, a lot of Asians show up. Yeah. Yeah, too many of you someone say.

Now, there is some, but it spreads out well, you know? Seattle's a big place. Thank you for doing that by the way, you were so great. Oh, you're so great. That was a, oh yeah, dude, you saved our life. Yeah. You saved our life that night.

So I don't know if you guys know that when Tiger Belly did one on the road in Seattle, you know, when we do it in LA in Austin, you know, we have, there's so many people that can go up on stage with us because we need help. So in Austin, we had like, are you garbage guys? They were already out there as Jessica Johnson. She was already out there and a bunch of people.

But we were so worried about Seattle. Because we have so many games to play. Yeah. And we need that extra boost. Yeah. You need a boost, right? And then when I found out you were in town and you helped us that night, you, it was you in Amanda Knox.

Yeah. And you guys really made it special and fun to thank you. So you have us that night. It was you and Amanda Knox. And you guys really made it special and fun to thank you so much. You have fun that night? So much fun. Yeah. I mean, I was just... It was pure magic. Yeah, it was so fun.

I mean, there's such a, even though it'd been a minute since we'd all jammed like that, it's like, it's second nature man. Once you get out there too, and also I felt comfy to be able to, you guys all kind of were like, yeah, just like, you know, add, like do whatever. So if I didn't feel comfy to be able to, you guys all kind of were like, yeah, just like, do whatever. So if I didn't feel comfy to do what I hopefully

didn't do, and then also check in, like there are times when you would go, all right, ask the fucking, like when we were asking questions was it two truths in a lie? Yeah, yeah. You know, sometimes I was getting a little long and you were like,

just shut the fuck up and ask the question. All right, but you did it in a funny way. I just wish you guys were doing You know, sometimes I was getting a little long and you were like, just shut the fuck up and ask the question. Yeah, all right. But you did it in a funny way. Um, fun to watch. I just wish you guys were doing that, because that was only a short run, right? Yeah, we wanna, I wanna do more.

Yeah, we're gonna do more. Maybe San Francisco, Hawaii, those are the two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go the places where, that are fun and where you got. Yeah, where the Asians are. Where the Asians are at San Francisco. Hawaii. Hawaii.

They wanna say it, but yeah, Tokyo. It's a different kind of show, you know? And it's like, you know, you know, people ask, you know, am I ever gonna quit? Tiger Bell, I'll never will. Yeah. Unless these guys say we're out, yeah. Why would you?

Don't leave, man. Yeah, I'm worried about you, dude. Hey man. No, sometimes, dude. Who would leave first? Probably me. Yeah, why? I could tell.

To do what? To work the best by? Probably, yeah. Just know. No, I don't know. How do you feel now? I feel good. The biggest thing for me if I did leave would be

it'd be because of my marriage. Whoa. Yeah, because I mean, he is working so hard on life's six different things. Yeah, he has four jobs. What if he do? Are you leaving? I don't know, Bobby.

Let's play FIFA if I know. Whoa. Wow, that's he know it's real. You're you've changed. That's mind games, dude. Are you leaving? No, I'm not leaving. All right, all right.

He said that he did the marriage for me. That would break my heart. I think that would, if you left, I think I, what would we do? Get somebody else? You get someone else. Yeah, but I mean, that would be heartbreaking for me. It's like Harper, it's like losing.

My family. Bro and Brad left, I auditioned other little people for like, how many people? Well, one full person, but two four. Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't, but I thought about it as a game too. You know, how many little people you think they're on the entire world?

I'll probably be willing to. I would say a million. Everyone say a number. I would say a million. Hold on, maybe higher I think. No, a million. Everyone say a number. I would say a million. Hold on. Maybe higher, I think. No, a million? No way more. I would say maybe like, I want to say five million.

I'm gonna go up one, I'm gonna price is right, $1,000, I think six. Bobby. He said one million. I said one million. Klaila, 651,000. Not even a male. I knew that.

Closes without going over, Bob. You can just, you don't go outside. Yeah, I know, I feel like I've been. You walk around, I'm saying you never run into any of them. No. Maybe you could be hiding in a bush, I don't know, but you know, or stand behind a fucking fire hydrant. Standing on somebody's shoulder.

And you see a little hat up up fire hydrant, but like you never see them. No. Really, and growing, how many, can you check out how many are in the Philippines? Because they're a lot growing. No, those are regular Filipinos. They're not.

Yes, they are. They're real. Yeah, those are your uncles or this regular side. Well, my uncles are tall. No, no, no, no. Yeah, there's not a lot. Like, give me the number of albinos. I've never met, I've met one.

This one's called. No one at the comedy store. Yeah, you know that guy? Isn't it so funny, the comedy store, it's like a comedy club I think has seen every type of club. Every type, yeah. The airport in the comedy club.

Features every type of person. Yeah. Even more so, Las Vegas Airport, that, wow. The whole spectrum of the world. Yeah. The people watching is insane there. I love. Macaron. Yeah. Because people watching is insane there. I love it.

Macaron. Yeah. Because comedy is the one thing that people can do. Like, I've seen Ed Comedy Clouds a dude completely paralyzed. Yeah. From the neck down. Yep. One eyeball moves.

Laughing. No, he's a comic. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Unless there's a crowd over and he was like, what? Yeah. No, I just move. Well, you know, like, there are comics that, you know, we have all kinds of people doing that.

It's kind of great in that way. To express their point of view. Yes. We, one in 20,000 people are born with albinism, so that's a lot more. Which albin, oh, albinism. I know. Wow. They're never outside, right?

No, they can't be. The sun is like, they're kryptonite, right? Whoa, that's insane. Wow. But 651,000 dwarves, or people I'm sorry my bad yeah it's such a shockingly you know Brad even says though he he said once that dwarfism is the name of what as Asian albinos I've ever seen yeah I feel like you know albinos wow wow they look so cool they look so cool look at that a little Asian albino a bit albino baby still still cute. Oh, so cute.

Asian babies probably the cutest of all the babies. I think so, agree. Oh, I know black and Asian babies. Black and Asian. Cute as babies, ever. Okay, one of the ugliest ones, you never go there. Why don't we ever go to the ugly one? Give me the ugly ones.

One of the ugliest baby brands. I saw a friend's baby recently and I was convinced. I was like, dude, I don't care how new you tell me this baby is. He's 38 years old. Yeah. The baby looked like, dude, I don't care how new you tell me this baby is. He's 38 years old. The baby looked like, he just looked like worn down. He was just like, he came out being like, God damn, I fucking put that to us. Can we go to our business?

He just had an old feel and an old face. I think when they're not- Because ears were sticking out. I love fat babies. Fat babies are the way old face. I think when they're not. Because ears were sticking out. I love fat babies. Fat babies are the way to go, I think. Oh yes. Oh, that's a, well that's, wow. That's so little.

That's too much. That's a lot of fucking rice cakes right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But sometimes when you mix the baby, sometimes they go wrong. People go, we love mixed Asian white, right? Or black or black white right but like sometimes like if you see a black white Baby they have like an orange afro freckles. Yeah big upper lip small little I mean they think it goes wrong

Wait, that's like I spice she's hot I spy it was I spy is that you thinking a tea of tequila. No, you guys the rapper my kids spike it's wait What's it her name I spy kids I spy it was I spy is that you're thinking of teah to kilo. No, you guys the rapper my kids spike it's wait What's it? I spy kids I spy I spy I spy I spy kids. Yeah, you know, look at her. You just described her red hair with the freckles. Oh Yeah, yeah, I am not and she is so cute. That's not what I'm talking about But that's you said red hair with freckles. Yeah, but then we'll like a, a big lip, small little lip. That's what I, she looks like if Santino 50 cent and Annie

from the musical Annie. Oh, fuck, I had a letterman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, throw it. Oh, she's beautiful. Yeah, cute. She's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the ugliest baby is we don't know.

Yeah, I think it's a toss up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, like I've never seen white always goes both ways. I've never seen an Iranian up. I mean, you know, why you always goes both ways? I've never seen an Iranian baby. Probably so cute. Probably cute. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you're looking at me like that. I don't know, man. What did you look at me like? Would you say certain things? I'd start around the room and I'd start my eyes on you. Yeah, you're right. I'd say that Iranian. Who's going to back?

Yeah. So let's say something. Yeah, yeah're right. I see that already. Who's gonna back? Yeah. Yeah. So let's say something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do you wanna do now in your life? I mean, what are your goals? What are your new goals for this year? Easy Katie, correct? These questions are coming in.

What is that? It's my goal. I'm writing a couple of movies. Good. Just, I wanna do more stuff that's just in my control, which is why I did that Dr. Phil Bilber show at the Comedy Store. That was cool.

It was awesome. It was all, I like creating stuff from the ground up and having a game plan, but having a lot just, leaving it up to spontaneity and just playing. I love using the stage for more than just stand up. And having Bert jump in on that and have it be so fun and he was so game to do it.

I mean, you should definitely do one with me. It'd be so fun. Never been asked. Oh, I asked you. It takes you to take messages. I'll say the text. Adam, divine and honors are gonna do the next one. Great. Hey guys, quick, yeah. But we would love to have some non-whites. So if you wanna come. Yeah, I'd love same. Okay. Adam Devine and Anders are gonna do the next one. Right.

The Hawks. Right guys, yeah. But we would love to have some non-whites. So if you wanna come. Yeah, yeah, I'd love to do it. Yeah, it's a disaster being, you know. You have fun. You're so good at being off the cuff.

And I feel like it's one of those things that Berri even said he goes, this was a little out, you can say out of my comfort zone, but he was like, he was just, he said yes so quickly, because he was like, yeah, I'm always doing stand up. How long does it take it to get in that Dr. Phil? Jen Aspinal, from that to so quickly because he was like, yeah, I'm always doing stand up. It's one that takes it again.

Get in that Dr. Phil. Jen Aspinow from MTV did it, you know, and that's about four hours. Jen Aspinow's supposed to do that. Yeah, you pay her to do it? Yeah, yeah. So, most of like that, and then, I mean, ultimately, I won my own show,

whether it's sketch or not, but I feel like what I'm doing with some of these character things is just flexing another muscle that I have that I don't want to, it's like just because Matt TV did one and done on CW, it doesn't mean I can't do characters. You know what I'm saying?

I don't know, two, same thing like if you, it's like you don't get a certain part or you don't do whatever that you're supposed to just stop doing it or you write one script and you try to get it made and you get it a little bit up the line and then it doesn't happen and then you're like, it made and you get it a little bit up the line and then it doesn't happen and then you're like, it's so easy to go, all right, well, I tried.

You know, it's like, I don't know, just gotta keep fucking, no, have you met Dr. Phil? No, well you can talk to Kirk. I'm trying to make an act. Really? He's good, good friends with him. Yeah, I talked to him about it.

I'm a little nervous. I wanna meet him just for the sake of letting him know that it's all goof. It's like I'm not, I don't respect a guy. You know, it's all out of, it's all parody. I'm not trying to actually be a fan. Yeah, you're talented guy, man. Whatever you do.

I don't know, what do you think I should do? What do you see? What do you see? I mean, if I was your agent, I would just be like, you know, you're a good looking guy, you're a funny guy. I would try, let's get, keep the auditions going. You've got, now some real legitimate movies under your belt, right?

And let's pursue that. And then also- They late night. Talks, talk shit. Wow. We'll tell me that. Yeah, that's good. I love that.

I love that. For you. You hate that, huh? No, I mean, no. Yeah, you don't. But I mean, a variety show, I think, yeah. And that's what I think, what you would get out of that, right? Like, I don't know.

I watched, found sometimes, and be like, oh yeah, get out of that, right? Like, I don't know. I watched found sometimes and be like, oh yeah, that looks really fun or even Kimmel and doing bit, but then I'm like, man, having somebody on that you're not interested in goes like a real challenge. It's not, and I'm, and, or maybe you go the other way and you just kind of treat it as that

and you don't be the, I've never, in my life, have ever seen a late night monologue or anything that anyone's done that you've loved. Not just love, yeah. in my life have ever seen a late night monologue or anything that anyone's done that you've loved. Not just love, yeah. It may be Letterman. Letterman. Maybe Letterman. Oh Conan.

But there's never, never. Really? I love Conan. I've never laughed at them. I've laughed at their guests. I've laughed at maybe some bits they set up, right? That were just inherently funny that anyone could do them.

But they're just to me, it puts a cringe on my spine. I'll watch, I'll be in an airport, I'll be at late night watching something, and I'll go, wait, am I? Have I lost my fucking mind? In what realm is this fucking funny? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm supportive of everyone. And I want to say this. I want to say this. I've seen Fallen at clubs make me laugh. Yeah. Right. I have.

Right. It's just because of the medium, it's just, it, and people laugh at it. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. I'm insane. Yeah. I'm sorry. Did I go lose my mind? No.

Are you in agreement with their? Well, you're right, the audiences are primed up. Yeah. It's just like when you see like, when you first saw Sasha Baron Cohen and do Alley G, as soon as you see you go, that's funny. Yeah. Nathan, for you, that's funny.

Or you even like Wendy Williams. Oh, you couldn't say that with a straight face, could you? I do, I got it. Wendy Williams, you love Wendy. It Wendy is. All the day time. I think some of this is lady. Oh yeah, yeah.

Dude, that, she is just so, she was just free in a way that a lot of late night hosts weren't, right? She would just say whatever, the fuck she wanted to say, she was farting burp at the same time. She did fart, didn't she queep and pass out? Yeah. And that was the thing. Don't quote me on that, right? I think there's footage of that. She did fart, didn't she? Queef and pass out. Yeah.

And that was a plenty on that. I think there's footage of that. I'm quoting it. Type in Wendy Williams, Queef pass out. I think she passed out on air and farted at the same time. Really? Yeah, and she would just have like, but she would.

Obsonced seizures and camera and just to keep going. Yeah, just keep going. All right. Well, I like that. Yeah, I like that. I like sneakers. Well, that's more what I'm going to do. Kelly Clarkson, she's naturally funny.

Oh, yeah, Kelly is good. I think she's funnier than all of them combined. Well, she doesn't read the prompt there and she's trying to just do her own thing. Yeah, she's also not trying. She knows she's not a comedian. She's intrinsically funny. Totally.

And she's just being herself. Yes. And I also want to say, I don't know why this is coming up, please, but in Boston, I, I wanna do shout out to, when I was on Matt TV, we had a producer Lauren Dunbrowski was a friend of mine, we caught me sober, and she passed away from cancer. Well, we were on Matt TV back in the day.

And her twin sister came to my show in Boston. Do you know that? She looked like her? Exactly like her. Oh my God. I hugged her and- I got emotional. Oh, I got so emotional.

Wow. And she was like, and she goes, Lauren would be so proud of you. It made me, oh my God. Wow, man. You were so good. Fuck. You wanna?

Guys, you do it. Get out of here. Yeah, that's it. So often does that happen at shows. Every now and then, right? I mean, you get messages, you get gifts, you get but like the face to face like yeah, that's great That's you know a lot you know, we get a lot of like you help me get sober which is Really touching and nice, you know, but um

Yeah, speaking for no, I mean it's not good. I'm gonna say something. Yeah. I Think I'm going to say something. Yeah. I think we'll be right back. No, no, please. It's an announcement. It's an announcement. It's an announcement. I just want to get the right word out. Right.

What I love about this country, it's pro-America. Yeah. Right. And about the business that we're in, I represent a few, just by being myself. Yeah. Right. But before back in the day, there was no representation I represent a few, just by being myself. But before back in the day, there was no representation of fucked up Korean dudes.

And sometimes when I'm on the road, they come, and I see them. And I think in that way, it makes me very excited about my life because it's like, I think I'm a good person. Anybody come back? Agreed. Yes, I agree. 100% No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And, um, but I also know, like some of the things I say, and I look in the mirror, or like, you know, I listen to myself, like, in the background of podcast or whatever.

You're interesting. And I go, whoa, I'm a weird guy. Sure. I said that, or I sound like that. Good. And I kind of go, why? But then when I go on the road and I meet people, and they come up to me and I'm like, what's up, you know what I mean?

And I'm like, hey, how are you? You say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you say, you're loving me. And we go back in front like that, right? I go, oh, that's why I do it. Right? And I'm sure there's people out there, your fans, they come into it. Yeah. Yeah. With your eyes like mine. I like the ocean too. I also have a professional servitee. Yeah.

You know, what sort of fan stories you get? A lot of people who've been, had sexual abuse happen in their family. Whoa. Yeah, I get a lot of that. Are a lot of like people who once contemplated on a living. Jesus.

Yeah, that's the ones I get. And they say that what you're doing is gave them a, what, just that you spoke to them. Yeah, there was this one guy outside of our LA show where it wasn't just, it was, he obviously, but he said that he had already decided that he was gonna, it was the end for him. And then one day, I guess Tiger Belly came on

and he was like, okay, I guess I'll wait till tomorrow and then tomorrow turn into two days. And then he kept listening to us and then we talked about how fucked up our lives were and he all of a sudden felt less fucked up and broken. And I was so moved by that. I was like, a lot of times when we're talking about our shit, it just feels silly.

You know? You're not thinking about the impacts of it after that. No. I mean, we're not doing, come on, man, we're not doing open-heart surgery here. Right. Yeah, but I will say comedy is more, no, I mean, yes, we're not. But I think that there is a greater impact

for what we're all doing than we're giving credit for on a day to day basis. Because everybody, once you've been doing it, even there's people out there that are two years in that are having people after, that are getting people to come to their show, whether they're, I mean, there were probably shows where when I was on the road with you

that people were just a whole show in general or maybe whatever they saw they chose that night to go to a show and because you know to see you to whatever and they got you know their mood just boosted from that I mean there's people all the time you don't know it's because not like every person that is dealing with something traumatic is coming up to you after the show being like you know we just had a miscarriage or we just had a this or this family Remember just died they don't only only handful of people go up to the comedian to tell them that or message them that. Some of them usually just go,

they just kinda hold on to them. I'm glad we chose to go out tonight. So when you get it actually communicated to you, it makes you realize that we're fucking the greatest people. I know. But in general though, and we're listening, if you live in a free society like America, right?

And I know, you know what I mean? It's so funny because I see people like, you'll see right and left-wing people that are supportive of either side are like, you know, the left, I hope they die or whatever, it's like, no you don't. We're all family. We're all the same tribe.

Okay. We're the luckiest people to ever live on this planet. Totally. We live in the right time. We live in the right age. We live in the right area. Because we know there's a war going on right now. There's all kinds of things going on right now.

We won the fucking lottery. Fucking shut the fuck up. We hit the jackpot at the casino and we had our ID. Yeah, we had our ID. We had our ID. We had our ID. We have our ID. We have our ID. We're so fucking lucky, dude, right? And it's like, sometimes I have to just kind of pinch myself. Totally. Right? Pinch yourselves right now, okay?

You, everyone here pinch themselves. There's, we fucking won the lottery. You know, somebody did come out to me at a show in San Francisco and say that this couple, they had a miscarriage and they hadn't been out to laugh in like eight months. And that was the first time they went out. And so that was just like, and I was like,

well, at least you can drink again, right? And I try to make a joke and, you know, I'm like, I'm gonna go to the toilet. They had a miscarriage and they hadn't been out to laugh in like eight months and that was the first time they went out. And so that was just like, and I was like, well, at least you can drink it again, and I try to make a joke and she laughed. Bobby, it was your birthday. Yeah, thank you. And September. You have a baby?

No. You working on one? I don't think so. Not right now. I love it. Yeah. Happy Bladed. You got me red vines? Yeah.

Thank you so much, man. You can put it in the middle. OK. Can you do it? The most offensive thing is when they don't sign the card. People have done that to me over the years. So this is what? 100 bucks. Target?

So nice. So nice. Read the card. I respect that. Who? Yeah, like OK. Wait, do it as a Cho Bobo. What's the Korean comedian's name?

Chalkoanga. Chalkoanga. The Korean Sebastian. Boo-bo. Boo. What's the Korean comedian's name? Chalkoanga. Chalkoanga. Is the Korean Sebastian? Bah, blah, blah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, that's my mom. Nobody gave me more opportunities. And what is he saying?

Consincidence to you? Confidence. Confidence. Of course I am. Hey, I'm Mandarin Chinese. Of course I... Eh, I'm under a chainy. That's right. Eh, anyway, I've also seen your dick more than my own. You're a...

...ademy? No. What? You're an enemy. I'm an enemy. On an off stage. What does it say? I think probably a letter. You're a... No'm not my enemy. On and off stage. What does this say? I think probably a letter.

You're a, no, you're a, you can't even remember. You're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you're a real, you than my own. You're a force on an off stage. Here's to another 60 years. Fuck yeah man. Yeah. Yeah. 60. He said. Probably. Yeah. That's a joke. You look good. Yeah, probably. Listen, bud. You read the joke. You read the play on the words. Look, it's speaking of donuts. I mean, how fitting. Read it. Read. Don't not worry. Be happy. Yeah. Don't not worry. Be happy. Don't not worry, be happy. Yeah, don't not worry, be happy.

Why do you say that? You said that. You're about to fucking drive your fucking boat into some rocks. He's so depressed that you said that. Don't not worry, be happy. Oh, do not, don't worry. Oh my God. You're just putting this together.

I don't like playing words. I know that. He said that. I don just putting this together. I don't like playing words. I said that. He said that. I don't like playing words. I don't like rhythms. No, I don't like other rhythms. I don't like rhythm. The rhythm's gonna get you.

I don't like that stuff. You know how some comics are like that, but I don't know. I hate it. Well, happy birthday. Oh, thank you so much, man. I appreciate it. You said of that painting I got you back in the day at the old place. Remember that painting of you?

That my friend painted for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Star Trek one. Can I say the Beoz of the Hill? Well, I didn't make in the day at the old place. Remember that painting of you, that my friend painted for me? The Star Trek one? Can I say the Beozleville? Well, I didn't make it. You got rid of it. I think I threw it away. The three days out. I know where it is.

Where is it? It's in my house. Let's go. All right, as long as it's real rough. You told me to hold it on for you. Oh, right, good. No, we have it. Great.

That's so grateful for it. The painting was okay. Yeah. Did you think it was good? I thought the gesture was nice. Why? No, my point. The gesture was nice. The painting was okay. Did you think it was good? I thought the gesture was nice. Why, I don't know my point. The gesture was nice. The painting was okay.

But I don't think, I don't think, listen. I don't think it's cool to go hanging up if you don't like it. Yeah, no, a thousand percent. I think that like I want... That's a very bold choice and gift giving to give someone like art. Yeah, why aren't you trying to think of something different? I mean, as you can tell, many people draw things of me.

Yeah, right? So the gesture's nice, but it's like, um, do you have a fave? I mean, the one of you, I mean, you know, that one with the old spiky haircut in front of the fire is pretty great. I think someone like that one back there with me and Klaula's good. I think that one's good. Oh yeah, it's a good one, you know what I mean?

But we should get one of, someone should paint one of Ho with me and Kola is good. I think that one's good. Oh yeah, that's a good one. You know what I mean, but we should get one of, someone should paint one of Hoot to Tuti from the Olympic sketch. Oh, that is still my favorite sketch ever. Good, good, so funny. I'll tell you that sketch. If you go on my Instagram guys and watch that sketch,

it's probably the third. The whole thing's on YouTube on your YouTube channel too. It's on YouTube, right? So me, Adam and Andrew Santino did an Olympic sketch. How long ago, eight years ago? Probably, at least. But that's when I knew, I didn't know Andrew that well then. Yeah, you're welcome.

And I introduced you guys. Whoa. Yeah, that was like back then and I was like, because the internet we're thinking about starting a sketch group called the Pornow twins, but spelled P-O-R-N-O-U-G-H. Yeah. And we shot about eight videos.

And we were fully into it and then we just both got this. It's funny because because it stopped. Allison Jones, a year ago, goes, I saw that, it's got so funny. Yeah. Even Allison Jones saw it. Oh yeah. It's crazy.

And she's a huge casting director. Oh yeah. But no, dude, that's when I, with Andrew, and I already knew I'd cast it with you, but with Andrew, I was like, oh, we can do this. Yeah. There's something about him. Yeah, wow. Yeah, because, we can do that. There's something about him. Yeah, wow.

Yeah, because I was gonna ask that too, how many hangs does it take to make a donut? It sounds like a really bad Korean riddle. Yeah. What do you mean in the hang? Like, hangs, like, is it a riddle you're doing? What the fuck are you doing? Like to build the chemistry with anybody, right?

Especially for a podcast. It's instantaneous. Yeah. You know you don't. You know you don't. Like, I'll be at the comedy store. And I'll meet somebody. Immediately I'll know, oh, I can part with this person or not.

Cool. Yeah. There's just certain people just, there's just don't have that. Yeah. That free, you know, you need a freedom. You need freedom, yeah. So, um, do you want to tell you there's a hoot to tooty documentary that's got to happen?

No, I know. I mean, I think you're gonna write the movie. Yeah, I've got most of it written. So do you have one of the ones I'm working on? Do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah. Um, all my dates, Adam Raycommy.com, um, check out the Dr. Phil Bilber special on my YouTube. I have a special live from Portland on my YouTube, and I just shot my actual special that I'm gonna be shopping to Netflix and Amazon at Comedy on State and Madison. I'm very proud of it.

It's a great Fox Club. I'm gonna hit up probably some of my friends with some power to tell me push it over the edge because I know that, look, unless you're a Burr, Chappelle, Santino Lee, that, you know, there's, it's subjective still of who gets, you know gets snubbed up, but I'm pretty, yeah, Bob, we would just,

I gotta do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. It's so fun, dude. I'll do it. I love you. And then the podcast about last night, tour dates adamrachami.com.

And I love your wife, I love your life. You have a dog. Yeah, we have pickles. Yeah, pickles, I love pickles. We have a dog, do you have? Look, have a poo. And it's not like having a kid, I know how people are like. You see your dog. Yeah, we have pickles. Yeah, pickles. We have a little pig. Look, have a poo. And it's not like having a kid. I know how people are like.

You say your dog's, because your kid doesn't stare at you while you fuck, but maybe that's someone tell you how to raise your kids. But she's 10 pounds. Her name's pickles. King Charles Spaniel and a poodle. So cute. The cutest.

So cute. Might get another one. Really? I don't know. We go back and forth on kids, but right now, no. Yeah. But people are like hard-pressing this, like, how old are you now?

How old are you? 41. Wow, we've noticed you were so long. And how old is she? 28. Oh, she's seen you as a kid. A couple of years after. Yeah, yeah.

I'm a product of a really old dad. Really? So you got time. He didn't make me until he was in the 60s, well, and so. That feels okay. Yeah. Well, yeah. When I was 10, my best friend's dad was 80.

Next pickle's up. Pickles. So cute. So cute, Pickles. So cute. Does Pickle stay in the bedroom with you? Sleeping in the bedroom? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. In the middle? Wherever. Usually down at the feet. At the feet, yeah. Oh, so cute, dude. Somebody walked by in my building the other day.

She's a very petable pup. Like everybody wants to like, oh, you know, and this guy walked by in my building the other day. She's a very petable pup, like everybody wants to like, oh, you know, and this guy walk by in the building like eight to eight a.m. a few weeks ago. And pickles, you know, she eats herself out a lot. Most dogs are like cleaning that area up, but also who knows, like maybe it's just, maybe it's the, it tastes better on certain days.

And so this guy walks by and literally goes, I'll have what she's having and then just kept walking. And I was like, Oh, Lucy? Oh, what do you mean you'll have, like, you should kill him. Yeah. Fuck is worth the high.

It's a thing to say. Yeah, you know, it's funny, you know, dog lovers understand the beginning of John Wick, the first movie. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've always said that. You have? Yeah. Oh my god, yes. I understand it. movie. Yeah, I've always said that. You have? Yeah.

Oh my God, yes. I understand it. Yes. Oh, you killed my puppy. Yeah. Everyone's gonna die. I know. Yeah, and I know some people are like, wow, overreaction.

I go, well, you don't have a fucking dog then, man. Wow. Nice. We're using that take, too. You don't have a dog, man. Yeah. Yeah, no, everyone died. Don't touch my dog.

Don't touch my dog. Do you think people get as upset when cats pass versus dogs? Fuck you, yeah dude. Don't touch my cat. I'm not gonna kill everyone. Oh, I'll kill the neighbors. Different dude.

I'm still, I mean, I, or like whoever did it. Do I need to be around more cats? Is that how? The cats are the cats, dude. Yeah, cats are the cats. They just want nothing from you, huh? No, they want love, dude. They want love. They want pockets. Not in pockets,? The cats are the pets, dude. Yeah, cats are the pets. They just want nothing from you, huh? No, they want love, dude. They want love.

The pockets. Not in pockets, dude. You're a pocket, dude. Out of pocket. You're out of pocket. There it is. New merch, new merch alert. You're out of pocket.

I tell you right now, dude. Let me say something, dude. Yeah, please. Every morning, and I've said this before, I'll say it again. I'll say it forever. Every morning, I wake up, right? And gooner waits by my door. They don't sleep with me. As I door. Go again, I'll say it forever. Every morning I wake up, right? And Gooner waits by my door.

They don't sleep with me. As I door, you can't. I have three of them, fuckface. I know that, but I don't go to the bathroom. So Gooner will just stand there, right? Every time I open the door, and I'll get on my hands and knees. He'll walk up to me, and he'll hit my head with his head. And then he'll just walk away.

Wow. He's just one one that's powerful. It is. You guys just touch foreheads? Nicholas has never done that. Yeah, he is going, listen, you know, I got shit to do. I got flies to catch.

You know what I mean? I got butts to, you know, I mean itch, right? But before I can do any of that, are both of those things that catch do? Yeah, I don't know. Catch fire. Yeah, before I do any of that, I need to say good morning. Was this your character in animal practice?

I wonder why they're showing it in second season. The cats got butts. They did it in the first season. I know, fuck. I thought it was gonna go 10. I gotta be honest. You ingesting curcups. I thought it was gonna be a cultural phenomenon.

I know, dude. But it's an exciting felt. Yeah. Well, all right. It could have been. Yeah. But cats don't smell either. They don't.

They just clean themselves so well. So the love is, it's not in pockets. It's because people always say dogs are always, like I mean, cats don't know the love to you. And just like what, is there a connection? Well, cats have boundaries. They're smart enough to know that, hey, like you have to earn me a little bit.

And they don't just give blind love to you, which I think is a very respectable thing. Most cats I've met always look at me, like they can't wait for me to go to sleep so they can try to eat me. But that's not, you don't know. Maybe I don't know. I feel that way about my sister had cats.

She rescued a lot of stray cats. And they always, the same thing, we would bow to each other in the morning and do that, but then they just go. Yeah, always. I was the fuck what did I do? Yeah, yeah? Well, um you don't know nothing And that's the fact you don't know nothing about it. Yeah, yeah, and I don't like it. Do you do a voice for your cats? No No, I'm not doing a sketch with that I'm not doing a sketch play not doing sketch play rock right now. I'm just gonna let you know, right now, we're not doing that.

What I'm gonna tell you right now is, you don't know what you're talking about. I just set the fuck up. I also wanna say this on top of that, right? It's that you should try to just cover. Because, discover a cover? When I bring people up, they catch flea. Wow. Two of them do.

So that's how you know, right? When I go up there, they cats flee. Wow, two of them do. So that's how you know. Right, when I go up there, they all gather. They love me, I'm their guy. Wow, that's amazing. They're good. They're good. They're good. They're good.

They're good. So it feels very special in that way, where it's like we reserve our love for the people we've bonded with, not just everyone. Cats, it's safe to say have a maybe a stronger sense of like like self. Yeah. And they have stronger like intuitions.

Yeah, and like they just have boundaries. They're just like, look, I don't know you. Therefore, like I'm not going to cuddle up next to you. Also, only true artists have connections with cats. Have you noticed? Look at Marlon Brando. He had cats. He looked up Marlon Brando with cats.

This is real dude. And I'm not, it is funny. There's a musical called Cats. There's no dogs. There's no dogs in musical. Right. Well, you have to sit on a mark. You know what I mean?

And to take state's directions. Dogs will be just, Oh, he mouth kissed them. Look, look. Aw. Wow. Legit. A real artist.

A true guy. Okay. A real artist. A true guy. Okay. So remember that. We put that picture of me and pickles back up. Look at, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, notrained? Dude, you have fucking, let's do it. Yeah, it's crazy. It's just like, even when they're kittens, like three weeks old, they know to get into the box and dig and cover their pee and shit. They just know it inherently.

That's way cooler. Anyway, thanks for being here. That's it already? Yeah, it's been a way over. Any more questions? No. We have another guy. We have a Murphy Brown shirt.

Yeah. It's a great shirt. Well, you know, Murphy Brown, you know, Candace Bergen? Do you have a Candace Bergen? You know I worked with her, right? Oh, that's right. On what? Do we go, look up, if there's a photo of me at Bobby Lane Candace Bergen?

That's right, on a, and just like that. That's fucking cool. Oh, hey, well, I have a very funny, a job by the way. I have a very shitter bin in the mor, that's my only photo. There's a photo, okay. Sorry, that's a photo. But it's true, I There's no photo. Okay. Sorry, look at the photo.

But it's true, I didn't see what that was. Yes, everybody sent me a picture. But I didn't Bobby was notorious for going around being like, oh, Julie Roberts, yeah. Bobby Lee, Julia Roberts. And like, there's no for you like, well, we did this thing together a long time ago. So, this is trust on it.

So, I'm in makeup with Candace, right? And I'm sitting there and like, she won't look at me. She's like facing the other direction. You know, she's tilted the other way. Yeah. And so then we're on set, and I'm in the same car with her to onto the set, and then when we're on set, you know, they go, the director goes,

okay, we're her souls. I had a couple lines, you know what I mean? So I'm at rehearsal, and she goes to me, she goes, you're not here in makeup? Oh man. And I go, no, she goes, I thought you were here in makeup. You're an actor?

And I go, and in my mind, it wasn't offended by it. No. Because in my mind, back in Murphy Caprown, they just didn't look like me. Yeah. Actors. Yeah.

And look at your shirt. Yeah. You're new to the bunch. Yeah, I'm new to the bunch. You're a new flavor in the cereal box. Yeah, so she was like, so mesmerized that they gave little on me a couple of lines. So mesmerized.

Anyway, give Adam a round of applause. I love you guys. I love the show, I love you guys. Thanks, Reb. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys.

I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. Thanks Reb. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. في المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنقةقة المنقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة المنطقة