TigerBelly - All Sugar, No Daddy with Trevor Wallace

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Bobby just woke up. Trevor is a chinless skelteton. Khalyla is still alive. We chat New Foundland, dip downs, canceling shows, d-league, salmon dinners.  Go to PrizePicks.com/BELLY and use code BELLY for a first deposit match up to $100! That’s PrizePicks.com/BELLY and use code BELLY for a first deposit match up to $100! PrizePicks: Daily Fantasy Sports Made Easy!

This podcast is sponsored by PricePix. Go to PricePix.com slash belly and use code belly for a first deposit match up to $100. That's PricePix.com slash belly and use code belly for a first deposit match up to $100. PricePix daily fantasy sports made easy. Thanks for bringing me down. But... It's not my phone. Get it out of here. It's not my phone either. I'm not here, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go to the hospital doctor. The house doctor? The house doctor. I go, I'm, and he goes, what do you do with sleep study? And I go, all right, what do we do?

He's like, tomorrow you're going to come at six in the morning and pick up those. No? Yes. You did it? No. Exactly. No, no.

So what, and I got to work about two. And I go, I guess got there goes that sleep study Is it the one you have to bring home with you the sleeping the the kit where they measure your stuff? Mm-hmm. I can set that up for you You could pick it up because I'm not gonna know where at no time and no place How does a sleep company that makes you get up at 6 a.m. Stay in business? It's not a sleep company. It's your doctor that makes you get up at 6 a.m. stay in business. It's not a sleep company, it's your doctor.

You're sign-fill observation, just no, did not work for me. What is up with that? What's up with that? What's up with that? What's up with that? What's up? What's up? Yeah, it's your general practitioner, usually, who's like,

hey, or like a sleep doctor, they send you home with this kit, and then you have to put the kit on before you go to bed and it measures how many times you stop breathing throughout the night. And if that is inconclusive, then you do the real sleep study where you go into the hospital or the center, and then they hook you up to all of these like, I'll just go do that. I'll go do that. I'll do that. No, can I tell you why that didn't work for me? With the EEG wires, because they were like,

oh, you come in at 9 p.m. and then your sleep study ends at 7 a.m. And I'm like, I don't sleep till 2 a.m. So you're only going to get, and then by the time I did go to bed, it was like 5 a.m. I couldn't sleep with all these things on me. So I think you might actually hate that even more. Well, I've been using those like the Zit patches, those the stars.

Star face. Yeah, I think I'm ready. Sometimes I put 15 on my face. I'm used to. Oh, that's a good sensory pattern. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I put the Zit patches on my face. Star face, shout out to Julie.

And then I, and I think I think the microwave. I think the microwave opened the door. Yeah, but the zip-pad is in my head in there. I mean, just so I can get used to. Anyway, that's not true. But can I say something? I'm just, just woke up. I don't know.

You know, you could have so much more energy throughout the day if maybe you used the CPAP. I know I'm not ashamed of using it. I want to use it. I'm not ashamed of it. I've always wanted it. You know what I mean? It's so cute. I know, thank you. But anybody rest in peace.

I'm keeping that in. I'm keeping that in. Any rest in peace. Let me say something. When you take a risk in life, sometimes you hear a homerun, sometimes you don't. It's just like, I'll enjoy. I love I'll enjoy.

You know, in mounds. I love bulls. Yeah, I'll enjoy as gotten nuts, mounds don't, you know sometimes Literally half asleep right now, so I have no idea what I'm doing Yeah, yeah, I don't like the one without almond. I like almond joint not mounds You like no nuts. No, I don't like nuts in it. Okay, I'm enjoying. I like I'm enjoy said. What do you like? I'll

enjoy John? Yeah. Yeah. You do I even have fuck coconuts. What is wrong with you people? Yeah, fuck. I'm not like coconut. It's dry. And oh, you know what's worse than the coconut? The milk. Coconut milk is so delicious. It's like water, but it's also with some like monkey com. It's cream. For someone who's lactose intolerant,

you really should give it a try more. No, I like almond milk, almond milk, got nuts, nuts, note. I just woke up. I just woke up. So guys, I'm not making almond milk almond milk got nuts nuts note Just woke up anyway. I just woke up so guys. I'm not making any sense right now because I just you know, it's like two inches on and You know what I like having no um Filter or editing system when I'm early, you know, I like writing on morning pages You know morning pages are what is morning pages? You heard of morning pages?

Yeah, I have. What is it? It's like journaling in the morning. You journal right when you wake up. There's no filter editing system. You're sort of in a dream state. So you never know what's gonna happen. That's sort of the best way to work out too.

When your body has in caught up to, or your head hasn't caught up to your body. So like one of my best times to work out, even though I hate it because I love sleep, is like really, really early Barry's bootcamp, because I don't wake up until I'm on like the 30th minute of working out, but I've already done the work. Really? Yeah, I just like, I don't feel the pain because I'm just like, my mind hasn't caught up to my body yet.

Wow. Isn't that incredible? Yeah. How do you feel about that? I'm dreading the chinless skeleton is going to be here. Who's the chinless skeleton? Is it Trevor? It is Trevor. Yeah, the chinless skeleton is going to be here. And I'm like, what am I gonna talk about with that guy? Well, fucking chill. It's face is so weird. But he's a nice kid. And I'm so supportive of him.

But you know what? You have Mugley. No. Whoa. Let's not start the new year like it. I'm ugly. I'm ugly too. I'm ugly too. No, it's 2024.

We don't say stuff like that about ourselves anymore. You're so gorge boy. No, I get used. What's the use in you? Tell me. All kinds of people use me. They can use. Tell me.

People come to tap me for money. Whisper. Women do. Women. Women, yeah. Tell me more. They can hang out with me for a little bit, and then they go ask the money.

How do they get you? What's the opening line? What's the opening line from the movie? How do they get you? Oh, the opening line is to connect the money. You're visiting Carlos website, so recently? No, no, no, no, just no normal dating situations, and they always ask for money.

Is that how they ask it though? I mean, that's a... No, they give me a sob story. Oh, that's a sob story. I'm gonna hear this, please. I haven't eaten. I'm going to sleep. Where is he going? I can't function. Is it eventually like, oh, here's a couple of blocks.

You panic. I panic. You go, you're good. And then you never see them again. Oh man. I'm sorry. I'm an old sugar daddy who can't get no action either. I just do the sugar part.

I don't know. You just do the sugar part. Or the daddy part. I don't get the sugar. Oh. Yeah, I'm a sugar that does it. Yeah. No sugar.

No sugar, only daddy. Oh, yeah. But daddy can be like real, fun. No, that's not true. You can be father. Father daddy? No. Yeah, your father daddy.

It's what the Gen Z say right now. Have you told the story yet that you told Gilbert and I over the holidays? Oh my god, I forgot that it takes you about that here comes I could talk about it I could talk about it if it's like if the if the if the people the state the circumstances are completely changed say it will just bleep it or yeah let's change the state to Ohio No, let's further away.

Okay, main, main. Cool dude, that changes every year. Calgary. There we go. How about this? What's the, I went to a, in Canada, when I did a show with Saguara, I did a show way in Canada,

on the East End of Canada. Find out where that is, I'll tell that story. It's a lake or something, I don't know. That's it, let's go Newfoundland. Hey, that's a word, dear Zachary, ladies, from... Oh yeah, let's go to Newfoundland. Yeah, let's go there. Let's go to Newfoundland.

So, I meet a girl on direct message, a girl on Newfoundland. On Instagram, she goes, I think you're cute, it's a lot. My friend thinks you're cute, and it's not, and I go, okay, okay. You know what, here's why telling this story is gonna break my heart because it's like,

I'm standing in a really good place right now. I feel really sad. So... Come here. No! Come here. No, no! No, no!

Is this coming? He's gonna pop. He's gonna pop. Get that stupid little guy out. I'm Robin Williams right now. That's not your fault. I will. Let's shut it down.

Shut the fuck up. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Oh shit! I don't remember that part of the movie But your chest Solarplexes That was a Connor McGregor move. Yeah, no you know with the shoulder. Yeah. Oh god

You hit my solarplexes. Thank you, but it's not your fault. Go ahead, tell the story. Um... Well, don't get me wrong. Let's backtrack for a second. Don't be wrong. Um... I've had some great single moments since I've been single. Some glories.

And some like... Big wins. Yeah, I like, you know, putting a flag down. You know what I mean? I saw them on a titty gray flags. Yeah, and just like Neil Armstrong on the titty. Like I made it. I'm here. Landed. Yeah. And then even though that never really happened. Oh God. Okay, let's keep going with a newfoundland story, please. We never went to the moon.

Oh, Holly, what did you do? Oh, that's like the first conspiracy theory you'll learn in high school. Okay, so anyway, Instagram and she goes, so we start FaceTiming and stuff. Immediately? No, not that day.

It takes a month. Not months. That day. No, kidding. And so, one day she was just kind of like, you should come up to Newfoundland. And I go, you come here. Nope, you come here, back and forth.

Damn. So then I, I go to a new phone one. What was the tipping point? My dick. His actual tip was the tipping point. Yeah. Yeah. I said go.

And immediately when I'm there, it's weird. Why? Every time I would touch her arm, like we're laughing or something, she would act as if I had monkey pox. I would touch her and pull in a way like this. I am. And every time I would lean forward,

you know, we're on talking, she would not just lean back, but she would do something with her eyes. So I would lean forward like this and she would go, that's so hot. It's a hot. It's so hot. So every time I go, you know what I'm saying?

She can go like that. And then I was like, this is weird. You know. Damn. So I go, I just, after dinner, I go, I think I'm gonna go back. Well I go, I just after dinner, I go, I think I'm going to go back. Well, no, you called me. Yeah. Okay. Is that going to hurt pad? Pad. All right. Yeah. So, oh, yeah. And we're still there watching TV shows.

Like reality shows. Every time I would get near her, she would get a glass of water. And other time I get near her, she would get a glass of water. And another time I'd get near her, she would go, I got to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, I'm so sad. I'm so sad right now. And then what happened was, she was, you want to face time, can you face time somebody? So she face times her ex-boyfriend who broke her heart. And he's a big fan of mine.

What? I forgot about this detail. Yeah. And he goes, is that Bobby Lee in your fucking place? Yeah, Bobby Lee is in my place. He's in my place, he's in my place. And I'm like, and I do this. I do the fair. I do the fair.

I think. I couldn't believe it. I mean, we're one. I keep on losing to foul. And then, uh, and I dinner with her again. Dinner that night. I'm like, I'm already here. You know, I mean? But before dinner, so at that point, when you texted me and you're like, I hate it here, did you,

were you like, oh, she's just using me to get back at the guy who broke her heart, right? I still can't get myself to believe that that's what went on. That sounds like a lie. Well, did you say she called like every single family member in FaceTime them to show your face? No, she had a text chain with a bunch of people that saying that Bobby Lisa.

She wanted to just brag that you were there to visit her. Yeah, but then she was like, a week later, she's like, let's go, my Max wants us to go and hang out as ranch. Well, maybe he's a thruple proposal. Yeah, but I don't like he has a big head. Yeah, I mean, and I also'm like, eh? No, but maybe she, maybe you don't have to have a relationship with her.

No, no, I just, you know, listen, the way she was acting with me was so like, I'm just a moron. Can I say something? No, you may not. Okay. You, you know, you took a shot and it didn't work out. There wasn't a vibe in real life and that's it.

It wasn't a home-regal. You took a shot. You went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat.

He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat.

He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. He went up to bat. whatever was when I got back, all the like, all the like the dates, could I have, I'm like, I'm seeing a bunch of people in a couple of people in LA

and I just sort of went, I texted everyone and I just basically said, you know, I'm not, I don't do any of it. Oh, you cut it all off. I cut it all off. Wow. I just, because it, yeah, because I don't wanna like,

I feel like I'm pretending that I like something more than I like them, just so I can hook up. And it feels not right, it feels wrong. It feels like a lie in a weird way. Even though I don't promise anything or I won't say that we're a couple or anything like that, right? It's just the way they look at me as like, starry eyed, and I mean,

and if I don't feel the same way, I just think that there's a dishonesty there. Yeah, you're correct. So it's like, you know, that's wrong, you know what I mean? No, but there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Like you like someone initially and there's a connection and then you see where it goes. And where it goes is, oh, we don't like each other

in the same way. And then you end it. But it's okay to change your mind about someone. Like that's why you date them and you see where it goes. And if you didn't go where you wanted it to go, and that's fine. Yeah, I also don't think that I honestly don't believe that we're going to find somebody that I'm going to click within that way. I'm too set in my ways. I really am. And I have so many peculiar behaviors

that I'm trying to hide from people. Give me like foot fun guy. Why didn't you hide that from me? I would have loved if you had that. I know, hide anything. You didn't hide anything from me. I know, but that's what I'm saying. It's like, if I could find someone like her again,

where it's like, I'm still alive. If I could find someone like, oh my God. I'm like if I said like oh my god. No, like a newer version or something. Yeah, yeah, I want new model, I'm a new model. Younger, thinner, hotter. I'm kidding, I love that. But my point is, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Something like that.

No, what I'm saying is like, you know what I'm saying when I say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also put it up. No, you don't add no something. No, it's not like is like you know what I'm saying when I say that yeah No Price picks fantasy sport yeah Price picks is the largest independently owned daily fantasy sports platform in North America. Man, I get so emotional, I can't read.

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can I show you how price picks works of course so for NFL this weekend right you can pick National Football League correct you can pick three of these players who do you pick all right Devon Sanders okay Where is he? I just made it up. Sorry, bro. I was like, there is no devon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Who do you pick? Okay. Don Tavion. Wix. Yeah. I call him Don. Less or more than 37.5 receiving cards. Of course more. Yeah, of course more. What about Nico Collins? More or less than 80.5 receiving yards?

Less, Nico's not good. Whoa. Oh, wait, careful with this one. What about Odell Beckham, Jr.? I've never heard of him, but more. Okay, more. Okay. I would go less, but okay.

Those are three picks. Yeah, yeah. You finalize your entry right here. Yeah. I like Nico too. Change it. Okay, we can go back. Yeah, yeah. You finalize your entry right here. Yeah. In fact, I like Nico too. Change it. Okay, we can go back. Yeah, go back.

So you can go back, even guys. Wow. And so with Nico, we want to say more. Yeah, I like that. Then 80.5 receiving yards. I don't know what that means, but yeah. Finalize your entry. Yeah.

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And use code belly for a first deposit matchup to $100. Pricepigs, daily fantasy sports made easy. Easy. I will get a nice time in I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy.

I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. Don't look at the little mo Here it goes Don't look at the little mo Don't look at the little mo Would you like a donut?

Be a friend Have a donut He doesn't look at our city as he's healthy Do you really have celiac? Yeah I can't eat that Keep touring, I can't hear him It's my one in perfect action Yeah, I can't eat bread.

Yeah. Or at least with gluten. With gluten, yeah. What happens? You get the rash in your elbows. No, my stomach just gets like this. Like, airy pain. It's just, I just feel like a bitch.

Honestly, it's really a- It's very LA of you. It is, but like, I already look like a bitch. So, like, it doesn't add to it. Every time I go on a date and I order gluten-free, the food runner always brings out the gluten-free and gives it to the girl. And then I have to be like,

oh, that's actually for me, she. Oh, really? Yeah, but I act super alpha. And I'm like, I'm just doing it because she wanted me to. Yeah, I'll look at the red lentil pasta. Real easy. You know how in Mendocino they ask you if it's a true allergy or if it's just a preference?

They say allergy or preference. I say preference because I don't want to be annoying. Because you say allergy, they get like clean the whole counter. Could you look a little more interested in telling a story? So when you tell, it's so funny what's doing right now. I'll tell you why. You don't act like this when we're hanging out out there, you know?

I'm nervous around you. When we're out there in the world, dude. I was kidding. But this is like a little disrespectful. It's fine. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude. I was kidding. But this is like a little disrespectful, it's fine. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude. I was like, I'm kidding.

This is only my third time. You could do whatever you want to do with friends forever, dude. We are. I called you a chinnest skeleton all day before you even came here. A chinnest skeleton, dude. If anybody is chinnless,

oh, oh. What the fuck? That's so, oh. What? All I'm saying is ever since I got silly, I got lost some weight and I got a jawline. Yeah. So what's up, dude?

Maybe, you know, this was meant to be. Listen, dude, I talk about you all the time to people and I just have to say that you're the new kid in town and I love it. Hey, thank you. No, he told that to what's Sebastian, right? Yeah, oh, I did, yeah. It's so funny because, you know because he's on stage at the improv.

And Sebastian has a way of like, and he goes, you know, the people I know is the people I know. Like he won't go under, that was Italian. No, I'm serious, I wanna know. I just wanna make sure you're not culturally appropriate. No, no, no, no, no, no. One more time.

Yeah, well you do the way, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, There's a guy, he's on stage, he's doing it with his hands. Okay, you know what his kid? Yeah, that's it. You know what his closest, closest. So he goes, who is, I'll just do it in my hand. No, I don't want to do it now, I'm sorry. They told me when you get here, tell them to make him do the Italian.

And he, you're on stage and he goes, who is this kid? Yeah. And I go, well, you don't know him. Is it the people I know, it's the people I know And he you're on stage and he goes, who is this kid? Yeah. And I go, well, you don't know him. Is it the people I know is the people I know? And I go, oh no, you have to be nice to him. Oh, yeah. And he goes, why? And I go, is that Waluigi?

I know, he was like, and I go, because he's the next crop up. You know, and I go, because he's the next crop up. And he goes, okay. I understand where he comes from. I understand his, him not. He comes to the store, goes out in the back, goes in the back. He doesn't hang, doesn't hang, does the spot, sneaks out.

Even if he sees me from afar, he'll just go, he'll just go, he'll just go, what's up? From afar. But he does this thing and I get it. He wants his privacy and I understand it. sneaks out, even if he sees me from afar, he'll just go, he'll just go, what's up from afar, but he does this thing and I get it. He wants his privacy and I understand it. But that's not the way I do it. And I think that my way is the right way. You're very in tune, yeah.

It's, I think the reason why I've lasted as long as I have is because I've always dipped down. Not dipped down in the sense that beneath me, like a bottomed-weller, I'm just young. I always dip younger. I dip younger. No, that's not what we were talking about. That's not what the father committed. No, that's not what the father committed.

I get it. Maybe that dip is the wrong word. Yeah, dip it. You dip, yeah. I hang out with, you know what I mean? It's a Christina Milion song. I hang out? No dip.

Oh, dip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I look at the next crop up, or maybe a couple more generations below that even. There's not that many generations, maybe one or two, but like it, and I go, I think this, you know, you make a guess. And sometimes you're wrong. So there's some guys, you know what I mean?

That I'm like, oh, I was wrong about that guy. He used a huge guy. And because I didn't dip down, right? He now doesn't fuck with me. But it's like, I try, I think I'm pretty good about it. But I tell Sebastian, I go, you know, you gotta fuck with that guy, because you're not going anywhere.

Thanks, man. That's another thing. I wish you would. But afterwards, I've seen Sebastian a few times shows we've never talked. I'll give him a, hey, what's up? How are we doing? Nothing, right? Yeah.

Just a talent stone face. But that day in the greener, he gave me a hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's it. But that's huge. That's huge, you know? Yeah, it's a big fan of him too. And I've seen him live and God, he's great.

Do you should be doing intro? No, I don't think. OK. Yeah, I don't think right now. OK, I tried. Trevor Wallace, I'm here. How do I do it? I'll do it.

I'll do it. You're going to be in Austin too, right? No. What? You're not going be in Austin too, right? No. What? You're not going Sunday to Austin? What Sunday? These fucking... I have a special that that's out on Amazon.

I know, but this Sunday you're supposed to be in Austin. I am? What's happening Sunday? Oh my God, I'm gonna get them so mad. I'll make a Sunday. What am I doing Sunday? Well, you're in the movie, right? Yeah, right.

So... So June. Yeah, so Astro and I are gonna do a shot at the mothership. Oh, right? Yeah, right. So, So, So, Astro and I are gonna do a shot at the mothership. Oh, nobody told me about that. That's Sunday, and then your name has always been in it, but now that they haven't reached out to you, I'm fucking in. I want to do mothership.

I'm living. Who do we yell at, Andy? But could you go Sunday if we got your ticket? I'm gonna be in Miami this Sunday. Well, then you can't go. But I wouldn't have gotten Miami if I were known in the first place. It's funny. How are you having a better schedule than me? What it is? You're the

worst person in the schedule in the world. Like, that's that you know, that's hurtful. But it's only hurtful because it's true. That's so hurtful. I mean, how do you text? Do you look at your phone and then just throw it in the Pacific Ocean? I'll text you and then I'll see you later, like we could hear it, like, hey, I saw your text. Yeah, at least you get that. Oh, some people don't get that. Yeah.

In fact, I'm about to text somebody, so, so, Avery Peterson. Pearson? Yes. Yes. So, I woke up today. I didn't sleep good last night. Why?

I just couldn't. I have to sleep up on a. Oh, no. And so this morning I woke up today. I didn't sleep good last night. Why I just couldn't have sleep up on I don't know and the um it's this morning I wake up and Avery perps yes, yes, yes, see you tonight at 820 Okay, hmm to do a show, but I'm about to lie and see that I'm sick. Just say it's emolcated It is what do you mean it is? You don't know that? Every day is MLK day for me. Good say. I pray about it every day. Yeah, I debated coming here to spot. I know. I was like, I call every and the

lie on the phone. You've done this once before. I know. You don't think you're gonna watch this episode? I know, but this is later. Oh, okay. What is that airing today, right? What are you doing? So in two weeks, from now, you're gonna be like, you lie, I go, ah! Yeah, I'll see you in a few days. Yeah.

So what are you gonna say to him? But did you already commit to it previously, though? Yeah. And it's just poor work ethic on your part. Yeah, exactly. You can go. You can do it. That's it.

No, but I'm also so tired. Now I'm thinking, because now, because we have a podcast later too, and then I'm like, I have to squeeze in a nap. Well, then just say that. Don't have to say you're sick. Hey, I'm overworked. I'll be like, yeah, I'm tired.

I don't have it in me. Or, okay, call them and do it now or no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you could do it. Maybe try the life. Try the life. Let me wear an accent. Let me wear a accent.

Okay. Hey, Avery. Hey, what's up, man? Oh, thank you. You're playing him? I think maybe try the life. Let me wear a shirt. Let me wear a shirt. Hey, Avery. Hey, what's up, man? Oh, thank you. You're playing it. Right, yeah. Okay. So that's how you sold it.

Yeah, sorry. Well, can I start? Yeah. Hey, Avery. Hey, man, what's going on? Sorry, my house is caught on fire. I could really use you on the show tonight because you really bumped ticket sales

and God, I could release the extra money right now. How are you? I'll be there. I'll be there. I hope he doesn't do that. God, I can't use the extra money right now. How are you? I'll be there. I'll be there. I hope he doesn't do that. No, I hope he doesn't. You want to be realistic? Yeah, yeah.

You want to be realistic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. So, hey, Ring. What's up? No, realistic. Hey, what's up, Bobby? Hey, dudes, oh, bro, I just found,

I remember you, the show tonight. And I'm just, you know, I'm so I'm overworked. Are you are? Oh, you are, man. I'm just I'm exhausted. I'm overworked. I just don't think I can make it. I'm sorry to hear that, but you know who wouldn't cancel Sebastian Manescalco. Because he's fucking doing.

He was just like, here's the thing. Who's on the show? Yeah, and that'll help. Here's the thing, but every, with every, because when you're the biggest person on the show, Bobby, you are helping so a lot of tickets. So, so people are going tonight, being like, I can't wait to see Bobby Lee.

Meanwhile, you're gonna be balls deep in a flesh that I'd be like, I'm Thai Thai. I'm Thai Thai. What do we do with Thai Thai? Claire. Balls deep in a flesh light, Bobby. Okay, so tonight, tonight, take it off. Okay, tonight's, this reading,

I'm gonna be paying attention to this. My today's lineup is this. We have Mark Maran. Great. Okay, tonight's, this reading, I'm gonna be paying attention. My today's lineup is this. We have Mark Marin. Great. Oh, wow. Elijah Slesinger, crushing. And my favorite, the kid in the,

Oh, JR. JR. JR. So they already have an age. Why did you, JR DeGuzman, they already have an age. That was the quota.

And he's a cleaner and he's got more dynamic things that you can do. Texting half your set and make, hey, Bobby came eight tonight. He was his portion. With a guitar. Okay, I do it or no. I can feel how do you really feel? Here's what you can do.

Leave him on his toes and make, I might make it, I might not. I mean, I can make it, but I'll be super tired and grumpy. Yeah. And it's here's another thing that I found out that, whenever I do a spa, I just don't sleep that night because it's like, I drink a lot of diacokes to get my energy up to perform. And then by the time it's like three in the morning,

I'm still up. What do you have tomorrow? Is it tomorrow's sleep and day? Are you busy? Sounds like a sleep and day. Yeah, I have enough of it. No. You're right, right? See, in my head, I would just power through it tonight and sleep in tomorrow.

But it's funny, but it's funny or the cancel on the phone. Just try it. Or you can just give me a heads up and be like, I might be there, I might not. Depending on how I feel after recording. And Avery's a great guy. He books me off for his shows. He's great, great guy. You think they know you're seeing Tually? great, great guy. He's great guy. You can't even know him sing to me. Bobby's calling me, he never calls me.

He's very savory. Okay, I'll call you back. Yeah, I'll pick up. Yeah, anyway. You've never been to... He's probably working as like fourth shift in the day to try to get the pay for the show, but no, it's fine. Yeah, just to book your booking fee alone.

What is it, these days, 9,000? No, no, no, no, no. Do you ever cancel? I try not to, but no, it's fine. Yeah, just a book, your booking fee alone. What is it these days, 9,000? No, no, no, no, no, no. Do you ever cancel? I try not to, but you do. But I'm the same way. I'm in a bitchy mood and I get to, but it's always a show I don't want to do that have the most fun on.

Because you're mad, you're angry, then you get that first wave of laughter and you're like, oh, I love this. Right, I mean, but you do feel guilty when you do it, can you? Yeah, you do. I do, but I generally won't. Like, unless it's like a real, like I like overbooked

or I fucked up or something. Yeah. Trevor, have you ever traveled to go see a girl for the first time? No, I don't. I don't know. Could I guess this is something? He's, and she's referring to, and I just told the story.

OK. But it's a really sweet- I understand about it, but I changed the name places. It's in Newfoundland. So when we refer to it, it's Newfoundland. Newfoundland, but you know the story. Yes. Yes.

You told me the story. I know I did. And have I ever done that? And been rejected. And been rejected. Well, that was the alley hoop to your question. True. Yeah. Um, I, I've driven to like coast of Mesa before.

I said, bro, this is from Sherman Oaks to coast of Mesa. That's far too and a half to that one commitment. That's far. That's far. I've never gone on. Did you get action? I did. See, there we go.

Oh, they said scene. Like, and cut. No Did you get action? I did. See, there we go. Oh, they said scene. Like, and cut. No, yeah, I did, but I, oh, here we, hello. Hi, Bobby. Who's this? Avery. Oh, thank God.

Thank God. What happened? I called you. I love you. I love you too. I'm so sick. Oh, man, okay. How's that sick, sick? I can't even move. Defined movement. What? Like when I blink when I blink, I just blinked, I paint so much pain. And I'm congested and my, I got monkey. You have a monkey.

Monkey box. Monkey box. Oh my god. Don't monkey box. Yeah. Okay. So you don't want to do it, eh? Well, I just, if you want me to get everyone sick.

I don't know. What happens when you don't come to people get angry? What do I tell them? Well, I mean, you have a great line up. You have Mark Moral. You have Eliza Schlesinger. You have JB Smith. What? None of you have to do, uh, to do Goosman. Yeah, he can't either. He's out of the head to get to cancel, but I have no way with Goosman.

Had to cancel. There's no age. Yeah. There's no age. He's on the lineup now. Yeah, dude. That's what I'm saying. You know, why why did Goosman? Why did he fucking cancel? Uh, you heard you were on the line. No, no, why did you do it? Why did you do it? Uh, he's sick as well. Well, you know, he's younger too.

So you know, we may have the same thing. We have an Asian thing. Is this is, is it going around? It's a monkey box Asian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a monkey box only hits the Asians. Dr. Dr. Ken, Dr. Ken, Dr. Ken, Dr. Ken, Ken, can you talk? I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Youny, Dr. Kenny, can you even talk? I know. Dr. Kenny can't get a talk.

Oh my God. Oh my God. So sorry to you. Well, you started with, you know, what, what, Ali, Ali won Quieft, and then we all got it. I can see, I can imagine that. Yeah, yeah. She is an angry Quieft.

Yeah, yeah. It just spreads, you know, yeah, yeah. You know, some cuddle fish, the like spray their eggs in the ocean, and then the current will spread the fucking, you know, eggs all over the Pacific and stuff. That's what alley once, quiff air does with any way. My point is, that's goodbye. It's not happening. You're coming now. I'm gonna, let me see. How about this? Let me just see. Okay. Okay. I will love you. Long time.

If you want to like literally come in the side door, I will let let you in put you on stage and then you can leave if you want Okay, I'll call you later. I love you. Bye And the fact that he's so sweet. Oh man, I feel like you Did anybody you should call JR to use me and be like what the fuck? Yeah, he also said this a I love you long time you should call JR to use men and be like, what the fuck? Yeah, he also said, this say, I love you long time, which is pretty racist.

It, it's up there. He's pandering. He said, I love you long time, which kinda pissed me off. So I think that's another, so maybe you go there and then write and spread it out and say, you go, I don't wanna go up and then you walk out.

You think so? No, it's what. I'll take any suggestions. What podcast do you have after this? Arms. What? This one. No guest?

No, we do. I know about what guest, because that depends. Oh, this is an energy soccer. Energy soccer. Rick Glassman. Energy soccer. You got to be on. You got to be off.

I don't want to do it. He's in. He's coming. Here's what you do. Jared goes, man, to do your role in the next podcast, you do the store, come back, die coke, up the ass we're in. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. Is that a hit?

Yeah, die coaks. I drink sugar free red bowls and some die coaks. I'm saying, what do you don't do anything? Coffee, yeah. Yeah. Salsias, those are good. Yeah, but when you asked him about him traveling to Costa Mesa, I also know that

Could I just also and I your single still right mm-hmm. Yeah, I also know the level he's at Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, believe I know I'm sorry. I apologize But I man, may I speak my mind and we can cut it out if you want please be all right, but I just have to say that you and I are playing two different sports What do you mean? What kind? In the Vag field. Oh, okay. There are two different sports.

Like, like, you're playing pickleball and I'm playing ping pong. What do we talk? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no but I've never been to Wimbledon. He's not on ESPN. Or US Open or anything. Yet? Yeah. Or he used to be back in the day. He's like D-league pickleball. Oh! No, no, no, no.

No. I don't have a D-league. It's not a D-league lady. This is the one. Are you in the D-league? Are you in the D-league? I am. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm talking about it. I am. Yeah. No, what I'm saying is that I know, um, it's just that, you know, it's a different crop of people that he dates. I don't think so I think we've literally been on dates with the same people I'm being serious. I think there was like I asked Sandean. I was like, yeah, who's this? Oh, yeah, Bob used to okay cool I can't say this though. Yeah

And we're gonna cut her out. Right? Yeah, cut her out. Right. Mm-hmm. Right? Yes. It's somebody that looks at me and she thinks that I really, like I'm like a busboy at P.F. Changs.

She's like, you're just like a nothing, nothing. Well, it's not nothing. I know, but she knows she'll say high and stuff, but she's like, any thought of even being in a sexual thing with me would make her vomit. No. Yeah. She said that.

She said that, not really. But maybe that's her like hitting on you. No, no, no. I know she's already, no, we've already talked about it. She's like, nah, nah, nah, nah. You have it. That's pretty clear. It's pretty clear.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She did it exactly like that. Can I see like a woman you've been on a day with, or can you show me the photo of the girl you flew out to see from blank city? You found one new found one. What is she right now? Yeah, or just the last grade one on a date with they are all very pretty I've met one or two and they're all gorgeous women So I don't know what the fuck he's doing and do you shake their hand and lean into their ear good fucking lock? And do you shake their hand and lean into their ear? Good fucking luck.

I'm not gonna lie. You're saying anything. You're saying anything. If I meet them, his rule is like, don't talk shit about me. So I'm like, I don't. I don't talk about him at all. Well, how do you introduce her? Or do people just know?

They know. Yeah, usually. They know. Well, I mean, one of the things I used to see is somebody that I still very much like. It's just we just live into different states It's hard like mine states Yeah, mental states. Yeah, mental states. Yeah, she lives to house down

Mentally she's in game. Yeah, can I see a photo of a girl you want to date with because I think you undersell yourself Which girl whoa? That was a good part of the show you a photo of a girl that I've had sex with. Sure, even better. Show me your fucking her, that'd be cool. They're all, I'm telling you Trevor, they're all tens. They're gorgeous. Yes.

I'd sex with her. Hi, what are you complaining? Which one is that? Like, is that a fucking holographic? No, pretty. Are you crazy, Bobby? You blur all that out. No, keep it in, let him know he's fucking.

No. That's hot, but also, but I've also been in situations like Newfoundland where I'm just like, well that one, that's just fucked on her part. Yeah, that was a hard one. And I'm glad it happened because I'm like, oh, I'm gonna take a break on dating in general because it's like, I don't, yeah, you know, although I am going to a break on dating in general because it's like I don't yeah, you know, although I

Am going to another city. Oh, oh my god. Let's go. Yeah, let me talk about that. Please. Please Can I talk about that? What can I hold on we just believe this out is it the one? Yeah? Another that's a different like a normal country Ah! Good! Another, that's a different, like a normal country! It's so far away, Bobby! That's a connecting flight!

I say a board mission! I went to a wedding there. It's a connecting flight, it's a weird airport. Tell us more. Show me a photo. Can I go with you? What got you to, what makes you want to go? Pussy!

No! That's not why. That's not why. That's not why at all. And it's so funny that you guys are doing this right now. It's silly. You probably, I'm gonna say something right now. It's very silly what the room is doing right now.

It's like, you know, back in the day, Paul Revere, he had his horse right. Mm-hmm. Right. And he would probably travel a couple of states on his horsey to get a little side-disk. You only had 16 kids.

Exactly. He was fucking. I know. Yeah, that's what we're just becoming so as he actually is comedy. This is comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think you're on the horse that night, probably having sex with a stranger,

and then his wife's like, Paul, Paul's, oh, there's a war. Look at that, go. We gotta go. Yeah, yeah. He's just rippin'. Exactly how I have it. He's rippin'.'s a war. Look at that, go. We gotta go. Yeah, yeah. He's just, exactly how I have. He's riffing. Yeah.

So go ahead, ask me questions. So what about, how did you meet this girl and did she always live there? Yeah. She's a small town in a small state. Oh, they have phones out there? She reminds me of, so when I grew up, I grew up in the green valley in powe, and it was kind of an

upscale kind of a place, you know, that's where Stone Ridge Country Club is. And my elementary school painted rock elementary, that was called painted rocket, and you go up this gigantic hill at Martin Quay, right? And it's like, when you go up, it's kind of the hills and it's a green. Anyway, I lived there and there was one of my best friends in the world who I still talk to. Her name was Best Handley. And Best Handley was, I mean, I just loved her personality. But she was like your lifelong crush, best, right? I used to have a crush, I don't want to be. Yeah. Yeah. And now I see her, I still love singing.

When I played Caroline's, you still, she's, I heard her husband used to come and I love her so much. Still do this day. And anyway, so this girl from um, reminds me of her. Not just her look, it's just her whole energy, you know what I mean? Is it the way she talks and stuff like that? So it's, it's just kind of a reminiscent of, you know what I mean? Is it the way she talks and stuff like that? So it's just kind of a reminiscent sense of,

you know what I mean? Something that I loved in the past, you know what I mean? Is she, if I showed you a photo of her, she's cute and very pretty, but you would be like, oh, I wouldn't see you, you know what I mean? Dating somebody like that. Not that she, you know, she's just a, a hard working, you know. Very like a Pinterest.

Okay. Like, Christian Autumn. Yeah, yeah. Very, it's, I say like, whole sum, whole sum pretty. No, not edgy. Okay, yeah, she's like any Hold some. Hold some pretty. No, not edgy. Okay. Yeah, she's like any of these.

Christian autumn. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is like, I swear to God. Christian autumn. Yeah, that's Christian autumn. If I take melatonin, that's what I see in the picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That right there, yeah, healed me. Yeah. I mean, even the black girl has the Christian autumn thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Every husband and they're so glad they're out of the house taking this photo.

You think you can go. Here's also what I really like in a woman. And I think it's a quality my mom had. It sounds weird. No, that's very true. It's very, you like it. But the quality that my mom had is, and my dad, right? Big wreck.

No, no, no. They grind it out and they're hard working and they'll complain. That's great. I love that. And so she's not like, you know, you know what, I'm going to do only fans or whatever. She's like, I just ethically, it's not, I just can't do it ethically in my value system. So I'm just going to, you know, and here's what makes it why, the reason why I'm doing it like this is because I had a famous comic a month ago. I was at the improv. Yeah, and this super famous comic who I'm very good friends with

Kind of goes he house so and so who's a girl saying in LA He goes she's fine, but how do you know? He goes? Oh I'm fucking her too. And in my mind, I was like, because the chuckle fuckers in LA, they fuck all the comics. It's a small support. You've been in the game for 30 years. McDonald's like monopoly scratch off. I got Bobby Lee.

Yeah, it's like opening up a packet of, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like opening up a packet of yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Remember when you went to the comedy store and you found out that like eight other comics were had already fucked the girl you were who was living in your house that week. I think it was not. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you liked her like her. Yeah, yeah, I remember her. Do you know what, do I know her?

That, see that happened to me. I brought a date to a comedy club and afterwards I got a text. Somebody was like, hey man, I don't know. I don't know if you should. Oh really? Yeah. But like, it sucks because I thought

the person was so cool, we had chemistry building up to it, and then that one text I got on my head. And then I just was like, I don't wanna be, I just got nervous. And then I just, I mean, we're so cool, but like I just didn't know what to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, when your peers are like, hey man, I don't know, they was like, I don't wanna be, I just got nervous. And then I just, I mean, we're so cool, but like I just didn't know what to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just like, when your peers are like, hey man, I don't know, I don't know. They're like, yeah, I don't know. And I think I've, I've told you about somebody like that, where I went, I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll warn you. I will always warn you.

Yeah. But this girl, that girl that you're talking about, she did thing where, this is a fucking amazing. I pulled it at she did think, this is fucking amazing. I pulled it at the comedy store, this is years ago, and she comes up to me and she goes, hot. She goes, I live in Vegas, I feel like my car's not working. So I go, I never even, that sounds like,

how do you get robbed? Like at the gas station? Yeah, I know, but she was so cute, I'm like, Rob me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just stabbed me a Rob me. I don't hate me to bake her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, take me to the big film.

And she was, I just, can I stay at your house? Whoa, I did it, I swear to God. I didn't even know her name at the point at that point. And I'm like, it, it, I'm like, yeah, yeah, you can live here. You can live here. Here's a key, you know what I mean? So she was staying at my house. I don't know, I just didn't.

I just didn't. I just didn't even say it. So she was staying at my, just from that night on, for like four days, and then I remember being at the, at a Sam, I don't know what the rest of us called but we were having Sam and, I don't know why that's such a...

Vivian memory. That's the most normal thing about this story. Yeah, salmon with his arrogant. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Because I know it's because I've never since then have ordered salmon at a restaurant. Because she's not like it. No, because of what happened.

Oh. So I'm eating salmon with her, right? And another comic calls me. Ah, okay, and then that same thing happened to me Yes, oh wow, so um he calls me and he goes yo That girl you're with Don't bring her to the comedy store tonight. And I'm like, wait, why? Because you, you're, you're, you go, I'm bringing my girlfriend.

So that I'm like, oh, what does that matter? If you're bringing, why can't I bring a girl? And he goes, I don't have to do this. He goes, I'm fucking, I'm fucking her too. God. And I, and I looked at her. So I hope the fall, I looked at her at her at dinner with a piece of salmon on my mouth. Oh, are you saying so and so? She goes, yeah.

And then I go, oh, just right now, tell me all the comics you're seeing, right? She pulls an O.R. line up out. No, I'm just so old. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out.

No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out.

No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out.

No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No, I'm just throwing out. No,ggar Field? Yeah. So her car worked this whole time? Yeah. Oh my god. But so yeah, I have it. God. I had experiences like that in my life. But yeah, that's happened to me. And it sucks because you like, I really like this person. But I don't know if my peers make me feel a certain way,

should I let their judgment dictate how I feel about that person? But it's hard because now it's just in your head. I think what's in your head is probably just that she only wants to date a very specific guy, which is someone who is a comic, someone famous. That's probably what's bothering you, because if it was someone really like in your,

let's say, outer concentric circle of friendship, and you'd be like, dude, I used to hook up with her, you'd probably be like, who cares? But I think it's because of each other every night. Okay, I'm serious. Yeah. Well, I just would feel weird. Imagine you go to a girl's hometown, 10 year reunion for high school and everyone's

like, dude, you're dating the dome doctor and you're like, oh, you're not going to look like next time she gives you a head, you're going to be like, that's where you learned it from. The whole JV lacrosse team. So it's like nothing about her change. You still have great chemistry. Right. It's that little thought in the bag of your head,

you're like, but that's why I'm going outside the L.A. pool and you're going far outside. Really far, but I know. Because you know, it's a big country. But people do that and that makes sense. And a lot of people settle down with a small Midwestern girl because they're like, yeah, it's, you country, but people do that. And that makes sense. And a lot of people settle down with a small Midwestern girl because they're like, yeah, it's, you know. I have a question.

What if she pulls out the Dead Sea Scrolls when you get there? That she, no, I'm, listen. She's like every comic that has done a gig in life. No, no, no, no. She has an old funny bone calendar with X-Fever ever since this. No, no, no, no. She doesn't.

Okay. Yeah. I feel like I'm old enough and instinct the road. So it's the end. And then Andrew's going to go fly to New York from there. And I'm going to fly to. Okay, if you're already out there. Yeah, I'm already out. You know, I thought you were just driving. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna fly to, okay, if you're already out there, you haven't already out, you know, I thought you were just driving. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Reno. Oh my God, Bobby, that's not even close. I guess you're heading east.

It's not better, but it's not worse. You know, you're not banging somebody from Reno. Yeah, yeah. Reno's got hot people. Listen, I don't know them. Yeah. And having a relationship with somebody online. We've talked to her every day for the last two weeks, really.

Yeah, because I just thought of, you know, I'm like so lonely and bored and sad and all that stuff. You know what I mean? Are you? Yeah, it's like, you know, and you know, it gives me some, I look forward to talking to somebody. Bobby. Well, maybe if you like, check your text and like got back to me once in a fucking huge fucking you dude.

But anyway, we're in a movie together. No, I'm sorry to hear that. You're going through that. It sucks. Yeah, it's fine. It's it's so everything's fine. Everything's great. I have a great life.

And you're going to crush on the 8, 20th, comedy story. Yeah, yeah. Yes, we are in a movie together. Dr. So June. Yeah, have you seen it? Only my scene. I'm conceded, but I have the link.

I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna watch it in theaters for the first time for you to get the full experience. Just so I can get the hear the score and really see the colors in life and all that. Well, you know, I hear you're great at it. I haven't seen it either. I haven't even seen my scenes.

Really? Yeah, because I had such a god awful first experience on first day of that show. Yeah, because this was a time when there was like an Adderall shortage and he was out that week. Oh, that's not, um, Ritalin. Ritalin, and so I'm um Riddle in Riddle in and so I

Had to spend the next couple days scouring L.A. To get rid of it to get rid of it because he was really just like crumbling on set Yeah, yeah, and so I The I mean it was like I just how bad and I you know fuck fuck it Because I'm promoting the fun. I'm doing Rogan. I just did Mark Marin to promoting the, I'm doing Rogan. I just didn't mark Maran to promote this. Yeah, I'm doing more. Next week. So I'm doing everything to promote me. I will. I will. I will. So I'm doing all these things. So I just want to say that the first day I was there, me and Goosen. Yeah, director. Yeah. I literally had a Christian bail moment. What is what does that mean of screaming really? Oh, yeah, it was it was god awful. What were you mad about just it was not just it wasn't a moment. It was all day long. Of you know, I mean, apparently if you see the editors, I've seen it. They go, it's epic.

Really? You yelling of him yelling, him yelling, both yelling at each other. He was yelling back. Fuck you, fuck off. Why the fuck you? What? He couldn't get his, he couldn't spit out his lines. That's not why. Yeah, that's true, but.

It is true, it is true, but this is what happened, okay. In the beginning of the movie, I have a gigantic like, there's a, you know, chronological, I memorized the thing chronologically. I just assumed that we were gonna do the first chunk that day. So I memorized that day. They never gave me like sides the night before

and said, these are what we're gonna be doing. I just made an assumption that I'm gonna memorize all this, but the scene that we did that next day was a completely other gigantic scene that was a lot more complex. And so I couldn't, you know what I mean? For some reason, because I was on my riddle in, I was just, I just was off.

You know what I mean? So it's like, and I was not in a good mood, and then once he, because I've known him for 25 years. Yeah, right. I wish I hadn't known him, because then I would have just shut my mouth in and take the notes. Oh, okay.

But because of his tone, it just, you know what I mean, it graded on me. Yeah, and, and it was poor David King. You know, so you know, Esther's, Beyonce. Yeah, yeah, he wrote it. No, but he was there. He's a writer.

He's a great talented guy. Because Esther's a star, right? So he was there. And then Carlos Herrera was there. And I just remember them looking at me, going, I mean, what's going on? And they helped me. Really?

Oh yeah, David would come up to me and go, I just fucking say this, don't say this line, this will make sense. You know what I mean? Do you remember the note that he gave you that like sent you over the edge? It was, yeah. I think he was being too specific

about how to say certain words Insert in in a part of the dialogue Where it was like almost line-reading and it kind of pissed me off You know me but um, but then that weekend we talked because I love him ultimately his family and I love them Yeah, and then the rest of the show was great perfect You know me and I got the tone right and all that's it. Sometimes, you know, it's okay. It's sometimes, guys, when you're acting, it's okay not to be perfect.

You know who said that to me once? I told you that story once, right? Yeah. Who? Who was it? You don't know. I'll tell you the story. I didn't want to let you down.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to tell you the story. And this really helped me. So there was a chunk in my career, Trev, that I couldn't get anything, but I auditioned a lot. And my problem with auditioning was perfection. Because this is when you had to go in person and then you would have to go on a lot right and wait down a hallway on these metallic chairs. Yeah. And you see all the talent that's going in for that same role before you. It was a mind-fuck right and I'll just say the word for

word right. So one day I was either Fox or I don't know what I was and I'm walking to the audition either Fox or I don't know what I was and I'm walking to the audition and I'm reading my sides walking to the audition right and somebody saw me a friend of mine and followed me right and so then I went into the fucking lobby sat down signed my name there was like 20 actors in there and he walks in it was Eric Stone Street from Modern Family. He walks right up to me and he leans over and he goes, it doesn't need to be perfect. I go, what do you mean? And he's like, you're allowed to make mistakes. And I go, why would you tell me that? He goes, I know that look. I know you. That's great. Right?

And he's like, you're like, you, you, you, that's not, once you walk in the room, it doesn't matter how great you are, they know instantaneously if you're the guy. That's how I feel also. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, you know, it, it, it took so much pressure off me and for a friend of like, like, he's a dear friend for him to do that. You know, me, it was like like it's something I'll never forget you know me so anyway what and did you get that rule no great

you should have come up to me what the fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah I should have memorized it that is true yeah I feel like the second you walk in they kind of know I think so too yeah I just send in a voiceover audition I'm like okay well it can't see what I look like so this is bullshit they're gonna base off tone, this nasally-ass bitch voice. Now send him a photo of me doing push-ups, all three of them.

Send it to him. I don't really book anything, but Dr. Xuel Jun's the first movie I'm in, which is, but I've seen clips of you, you're great at it. It's real fun. You're the trailer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made the trailer, that's great.

And that, you know, people have talked about how good you were. Thank you. Were you nervous? Well, in my head, like you you made the trailer, that's great. And that, you know, people have talked about how good you were. Thank you. Were you nervous? Definitely. Well, in my head, like you said, the chunk thing, I thought that it was a seven page scene. I was like, oh well, let's go page for page.

And Nick was like, no, we're gonna run through all seven and then go into close-ups on individual. And I was like, I don't have this memorized at all. Yeah, yeah. Because I was just going how I shoot dumb YouTube videos. I was like, all right, you speed me a line. You speed me my line and hear, hear? Yeah, yeah.

And so I was like, yeah, no, I'm off book, I'm ready, and then I was in, and then we just did so many, so many, so many takes. We probably shot this, it's one location, it's just one scene seven pages. Yeah, probably shot like 40 times, just different angles and everything. Wow.

So that's how it's, they're all like that. Right, but in my head, I don't know. Yeah, I've been on other small things, we're like, oh, we're just gonna do a shoot page, one of two, stop here. But this was like the whole thing. I was like, oh, we're just gonna shoot page one to two stop here. But this was like the whole thing. I was like, oh, it's gonna go to theaters. Two, so you have your senior face on the big, no movie theater.

No, my nose is gonna look even better. I hope it's not in 40. People are fucking swinging out of their way. Yeah, I've never been in a movie. I've been in a show. It's exciting, TV shows, but this is like my first exciting thing. So, oh, that's so exciting. Is it going to a streamer?

Do you know, or is just the, I mean, right now they're doing the theater thing, but everyone that's so excited Is it going to a streamer? Do you know or it's just I mean right now they're doing the theater thing But everyone that's seeing it are loving it you know me really I think judge is asked for a copy So he's gonna look at it. You know me but yeah, but um no, it's exciting and it's like you know I yeah, I haven't seen it but you've been in you've been acting for years. So this is a I'm excited to be the cast is just stacked It's no it's stacked. Yeah, and here's another bright excited to be. I mean, Cass is just stacked. It's, no, it's stacked. Yeah. And here's another bright spot, my friend. I love you.

Oh. But also, I have a favorite ask. I forgot, I forgot. Please, yeah. And you can say no and be real. If you can't do it, say no. I'm okay. Okay, yeah.

I'll be real. Okay, I'm here. So January 30th, what does this come out? This week? Okay, so January 30th. Okay, so long as it's on the Okay. I'm here. So January 30th, what does this come out? This week? Okay. So January 30th. Okay.

It's only on the six. I got plans. Okay. I know. What are you doing? It's a January 6th. Oh yeah, yeah. I liked it.

It's really good. Thank you. Well, it's a pass. Yeah, it's for the youth. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I say so. Yeah. So January 30th. 30th. It's a pass, so that's like, yeah, it's for the youth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, as I say, see. So January 30th, it's a Tuesday night.

Yes. And I'm doing a new joke night at the Bray Improv. Yeah. And if I have you, I think I have the perfect show. Yeah, I'm there. Well, you really? You, Shepal Lacey, Adam Ray, great. Did I have Andrea Ginn?

Yeah, I love her. She's great. Jason Cheny. Mm-hmm. Oh, so good. Jason Cheny. Jason Cheny is great. And then, um, that's it.

I'm there. I think it's a good show. That's great. Bray Impulse. Amazing. And I used to do it a lot, and I want to do it more often. But anyway, thanks for doing it. I think that's great. I think I have the line up then. I'm going to sit in the crowd and if I wanted to do it more often. But thanks for doing it. I think that's great.

I think I have the line up then. I'm gonna sit in the crowd and if I hear you do one joke I've heard before, I'm gonna go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, I sandwich it. Yeah, but if I hear something old I'm gone But so anyway January 3 and also watch the Amazon root original Trevor Wallace say that word Amazon original Trevor Wallace Dactyl What was that first letter? What?

What was it again? Paradactyl. Yeah, you got it, Paradactyl. I just have a special on Amazon. Yeah, go check out his special, Paradactyl on Amazon. Dude, honestly dude,

why did Netflix offer now? No, they came to me before anybody did. I was like wrapping up on my tour and I was wondering about shooting special. And before, it was like I had that thought in the next day We got an email from Amazon like hey, we want to meet and talk about Trevor Oh really and then they came to an L.A. show they liked it and they're like cool. We want to give you a special So I didn't even have to shop it. They just came to me on me. Is that yeah, great. I think do any of the series

Or they just kind of do they're doing a lot right now. Yeah, yeah, they're going for it for the big boys. They're swinging Wow, but out of special I love you you so much. How are you, man? How are you? I'm good, man. Yeah, I got some tour to that. Yeah, the Salt Lake City bring. Salt Lake Miami. Where you're gonna play Miami at the end?

Miami improv. I'm just doing clubs right now, just to build that hour. Oh, baby. That'd be fun. Yeah, Lexington, Kentucky, I'm adding Portland, Sacramento, SF, add a bunch, troublehousecomedy.com. How do you work at the, do you work?

Like, I don't know, I've never burned an hour before. I'm fucking terrified. I probably have 25 new that I love. And I'm just hopefully by then I just have that or I'm just gonna be like, you pick a notebook? Yeah, I know a book up there. Okay.

Which is fun. I think people like see how the sausage is made where they just kinda like see you lift up a notebook and I'm like, all right, let's do it. I saw Bill Birder that years ago and it's so cool to see the same process he was doing. I mean, granted his starting new is light years ahead of anyone, but you know, let's go, all right,

let's see if this works, and then he does it. It's such a cool process. Yeah, I watch Bill and also Sebastian do this, they do it upfront sometimes, new jokes. Oh, upfront, yeah, like, I see an outdoor. No, I'll see a store and they'll just go, okay, what's let's see. And they'll just say something brand new. Yeah. And here's the thing that I have to get over. And I think I'm slowly getting over because I had a moment at the improv there

night where I'm like, I think this is what I was waiting for. It was a packed room. And you know, more was was there Morty from Rick not Rick and Morty Oh, so there was a you know that David Letterman show I've heard of it Yeah, so Robert Morton used to be the executive producer of Letterman during the 80s when I was a kid I used to watch because he was play he played anyway Robert Morton is a friend of mine and he was in in the audience, and I went, you know what? Usually, if someone like that's in the audience, I'm gonna fucking crush.

But in the middle of my set, I said something real, and then I just let it sit in the whole room with silence, and then I was like, and I wanted to see how that felt. And then I couldn't get them back, really rub them back up, but it didn't matter.

I just goes, my dad died years ago and I miss him. And I sat there for like 20 seconds. I looked on the ground, it was completely silent. And I went, okay, I'm okay with this. What was the next sentence? Nothing, I remember like stumbling into another bit. Yeah. But that didn't work either, but it was like, was an accent. Nothing. I remember like stumbling into another bit. Yeah.

But that didn't work either. But it was like, what I needed was a moment where it's like, it's okay not. It's fine, it's okay. It's okay not to crush all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And Nusya is, it's fun, but also sucks when I've experienced. It's like, I'll do, you know, 13 minutes of no, and it's good.

It's getting laughs. And then I closed on an old joke and it's just what the barometer of what that did versus the old stuff. Fuck, but now I gotta get this new stuff on that level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's exciting though, dude. It is.

It's something that's not when a new bit works. Oh yeah, yeah. You're like, who am I? Fucking God-free, what am I doing? I'm like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, what was the next line you said after your dad passed? Or like, what did you, what did you,

I didn't even do a dad joke. I literally went like, my dad died, I miss him. And I sat down and I go, anyway. Because I, I just something like that, it was like weird. But it was just like, but I just needed, not to be I needed it. It wasn't a bomb.

It was more like I'm okay with the silence. Yeah. You know, and I don't, you know, it doesn't have to be perfect. That's all. Anyway, Trevor, I swear, there's your third time on the show. Third time. Do I hold a record? No, it's not.

You're one of the, you're in a club though, three timers. Really? Griffin is in. Fuck you. Who else? No, it's not. You're one of the... You're in a club though, three timers. Really? Griffin is in. Fuck you. Who else? Oh.

Oh, he rose in bomb or something? Rose in bomb. Rose in bomb. Glassman. Oh, Ricky for sure. Ricky for sure now. Yeah, yeah. Because you're...

Someone I trust. Oh, thank you. I do trust you. Yeah, I love doing the show. And I... you know, and you're a great dating guru. A date guru. Thank you. You know, who also love a guy that I trust too that I love a young guy like yourself. Who's that?

Marcelo Hernandez. I love him. He's so funny. That kid dude, it reminds me of you, really? Yeah, it's, that's the kid that like he looks at me, and he's just like, he understands who I am. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, I've always fucked with this guy.

He looks at me like, I love him. Yeah. He just wanna be friends with him. The first time I met him, I was like, this guy is fucking chill. This guy is cool. And he's funny. Very funny.

Crosher, that kid. Dude, I met him one night at the improv, and he was like, I'm going to Miami, and I was like, dude, I's funny. Very funny, crusher, that kid. Dude, I met him one night at the improv and he was like, I'm going to Miami and I was like, dude, I'm doing a college gig three hours away at Florida Gulf Coast, you should just come by. He was already on SNL and he was like, it's how long is it, three hour drive, I'm there. Then the next week, after a medium once,

he just drove up for like, I think I paid him, like, I don't know, 500 bucks. And he was like, yeah, I'm down, I just wanna come hang. This was like a year ago. And he went up? Yeah, he just went up. Was there a crowd? Yeah, there was those packs, it was like, yeah, I'm down. I just want to come hang. This was like a year ago. And he went up. Yeah, he just went up. Was there a crowd?

Yeah, there was those packs. It was a whole school. But like the school was like the day of, I was like, you guys might have I bring my friend Marcel's on a SNL. They're like, yeah, please. But like colleges are so weird. They're like, oh, well, we got to talk to a coordinator

and then yeah, you just drove up and then just did like 10, 50 minutes and brought me up. But just like, what guy would want to do that? Just be like, yeah, I'm done and drive three hours. He's just like, what guy would wanna do that? Just be like, I'm gonna drive three hours. He's just like a really nice like home. I hope that people like look back at photos in the future and it's like me and him in a photo. Dude, look at these with the guys,

doing L.A. back in the day, you know, like, I love looking at photos like old Sandler's, isn't shit like I'm gonna be doing it back in the day. I'm telling you what, you are like that. You are one of those guys that is gonna have that kind of history. Thank you, I hope you do. No, kind of history. Thank you, I hope. No, you're already there.

Thank you, man. Everyone knows you now. Everyone in town knows you, baby. Sebastian's last guy on my list. I know, but now he does. You vouch for me, that was big. But that's how it all works. You're there already, and I'm proud of you

and give him a round of applause. Wow, so much. I'm glad. Thank you. Voy a matando para por la Yo no puedo quitar y tuyo