TigerBelly - Are You Garbage & The Evergreen White w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

We welcome back Kevin Ryan and H. Foley from Are You Garbage? We chat fatherhood, Airplane seats, “goo goo gaga”, bad roommates, baker of 1940, dinosaur denial, aging bodies, Pizza Hut nostalgia, and the “responsible one”.  That’s www.helixsleep.com/belly for 20% Off Sitewide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you! Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/p06g4a8g #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Okay Chukula Go the Bukkah Start it Start it Hey, I'm Bobby And I'm Jaime Garcia And this is the

Bobby and Jaime Garcia show And I'm Kalila I don't know Your voice Sorry What's that? I'm Carver The testosterone in my veins is pumping

I break the mouth Are you still in the Hawaiian stuff? Yeah He knew that he was I told him he was coming so I didn't know he was coming you said you're hi how are you see hi how are you just those two seats right there if you go see again man you're you're a new

papa right yes congratulations thank you what do you want I think he's in the middle I love it over there it's cozy the Bobby who plays the piano would you ever sit in the middle seat in the airplane me I have an uncle That's one I've ruined a couple of flights Sure Yeah

Here he'll hit I'm in This way How's Hyman here Move more Am I good here Good Yeah

You live here No I live with Ralph But I just come out here For work How many days You have to come out here Like four days

A week A week Yeah four days A week A week I come here four days a week And this is the whole month I come here four days a week

When I do come if I come Yeah, Ralph's just a house Playing with his girlfriend And playing with his cars and stuff Hang with his girlfriend Do you live with Ralph? He's in love He's got a new girl

He's got a new girl He's in love okay I should understand the burmage Hey Bobby Oh Oh Hey Read

You're back baby Rehaud Get you back You're in the house of Lee now baby You look the fat faggit. Whoa. I'm sorry. I got it.

You look fantastic. Your eyes, though, I said to tell you this right now. Thanks, bud. No, it's not a good thing. Okay. Round eye. G.I. Yeah.

Is it Sunfaku eyes? Yeah, you do. What's that? What? The floating iris. Yeah. I don't know what that is. You have a floating iris?

Billy Elish eye. You don't know. You know where that cans? I'm going to put the cans on. Since when do you play the piano? I never. Asians are born this way. Do you know that?

I did not. Now I do. Asians are born with certain abilities. You can't play the piano. What are you talking about? We're watching and playing. We're born with ninjitsu, tequandoish skills.

It depends on what house you're from. I'm from the house of Lee. We're good at Abacus. Was your brother a good student in school? And did he go to college? What the fuck are you asking shit about my brother for? Huh? Yeah.

Age Foley? Because you said you were a bad student and you didn't go to college. I'm so sorry. I assume that's harder on a Korean family. Yeah. It was very hard for a Korean family. The whole family. Yeah.

Where's that? Your eyes are spooky. Okay. I mean, you complimented them before and now you're saying they're spooky. They're not spooky. They're so round and beautiful. Oh, thank you. You think so?

Let me see. I got good eyes. Yeah. Not much. Much else, but good a... But you're a white... The type of white you are White devil.

I call it evergreen white. In what sense? Why? It's very average white. It's always been this case. Hit me. Where's my... What do you mean? In terms of, like, what I'm saying is,

is that Paul Revere fucked with people that look like you. I don't think so, me. Right down the middle of white. You're right down the middle of white, which is great. Now we're talking. He's modern white.

What? Modern white. They didn't look like that back then. No, if you change his hair cells, he'd be a baker. in the 40s? 40s? I'll give you. It wasn't Paul Revere.

You were there too in the fucking 40s, probably. No. Yeah, yeah. No. What would you? You'd be a welder. In the 40s? Yeah.

Be a tail gunner. B-29. Teach me everything. Tail gunner, B-29. Memphis Bell. He's dropping bombs. He's big in the military. So you're back in the plane shooting?

I'm back of the plane shooting. So how much weight has to be in the front for you being the back? 40 guys. 40 guys. 40 guys. Obviously, I wouldn't have this weight. Because there'd be no saturated fats and all that stuff. It'd be good stuff.

You know what? Apple in the 1950s? Okay, you're right. You have to eat five apples to equal that nutrition. I know. And you know what? And four Big Macs. Same Big Mac.

Yeah. Did you sleep all right last night? So I'm good. Yeah? Great. Yeah. Back to the house, did another pod, took a dip, had a couple of beers. A couple of beers.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Nice. How have you been doing? Are you coming back and forth between Hawaii as well? Not, not lately because I just had a baby. It's baby. Congratulations, by the whole.

Thank you. You too. Congratulations to you. Thank you. Congratulations to you. Congratulations. Yeah. You know, babies are interesting.

Sure. Babies are interesting. Yeah. I like when they go Google Gaga. When they say something, Google Gaga. Who said that?

Me. I said that. Actually, most people go Gaga, Google, but you want Google Gaga. No, it's Google Gaga. I think it's Gaga Google. I think it's Google Gaga.

What do you think of this? Let me do it. Ganga gugoo Guga. Or a Guga. I got to go Gougu Gaga. I'm going to go Guga, yeah.

If they offered you, look, who's talking. Would you do it? A reboot? Yes. I'm talking. It's a white baby, but it's a Korean place. I would do the accent. Speaking of that, you know what blew my mind

the other day? I saw a clip of Pat Moriarty. You know who he is? Pat Marita? Pat Marita, sorry. Pat Moriarty. He sells cars outside of Philly. Wait, wait, is that Sherlock Holmes?

That's Sherlock Holmes. It's Sherlock's Homes' enemy from Japan. Wow, really? Is that really who it was? And Pat Moriardi. That was Sherlock Holmes? Moriarty is, right? I just thought it was opium.

Yeah, yeah. Moriarty. James Moriarty. Oh. Yeah, Moriarty was his nemesis. Anyway, you saw Pat Moriarty where... He's American. No, I saw him on a clip.

It was like Battle of the Network stars. He died. He died. He died. I know. Oh, yeah, of course he's an American. I didn't know that. He killed that accent. Oh, he did. He killed it. He was in happy days. Of course. He was Arnold. But he also had an Asian accent in that. Oh, he did. Yeah, but back then you had to do.

You had to. They weren't casting that guy as a guy from Cleveland. That guy had to be from another country. Walking in the 50s. Have you ever met him? No, he died before my time, but... You don't know him? I don't know if he's shocked that you just never cross paths or he thinks you guys all know each other. I want to say something to you. Please.

Okay. Both of you. I love you. Thanks for being here. Of course. We're happy. Thanks for all right. You know Roy Choi.

You know David Chang. Yeah, I do. Ali Wong. I do. James Moriarty. Yeah. What I'm saying is is that in these days you have gatherings. Uh-huh.

We have Asian Excellence Award. We have the, what's it? The Golden Rolls. Rod, what is that thing? The Golden Gala. The Golden Gala. It says, where the Asians gather.

So, yes, I meet them there. You meet them there. Have you ever won a golden dumpling? That was my nickname in high school. There you go. That's all right. Yeah, so if Pat was still alive, I'm 100%. You would have crossed pads.

Well, he would have done this podcast. For sure. Because I know, you know, Asian actors tend to help each other. Like you said, like you even have comics and stuff that you work with. Did you know Steve McQueen? Yeah. I did. I was actually in bullet.

Oh, you were, yeah. You were the bullet. I was the car. Oh, you're the car, my bad. Yeah, I don't know. What Asians do I not know? The Asian mafia is pretty close-knit. So I think everyone knows everyone.

Yeah, we have a little... Am I part of the mafia? Yeah, oh, come on, dude. Hello. Do you know the actress, Suki? Hello. Suki? Oh, wait, you don't know.

You don't know Peggy Goo. Peggy. She's like Gougu Gaga. High end Asian. Really? DJ, yeah, look her up. DJ? Yeah. That's not a, that's not really. No, but she is very like socialite, cool

girls, just like pull up a picture. Yeah, but did she live in? She's from New. Age full is going to go crazy. Oh, wow. She's very. Oh, she's perfect for me, dude. What are you? At a store? Hey, what's her name? Peggy Goo?

She's an international superstar. Peggy Goo. I'm international too, Becky Goo. You ever see the Indian dudes in Bollywood? How big those? guys are? What's the guy's name Shaka Khan or something like that? Shaka Khan. I'm huge.

George was a Bollywood director. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Did you live over there? I lived over there for a year after college. I lived over there for a year. Sounds like you're really blended in. Where can I get some chicken chicken masala? No, no.

Hey, you're going to wash your hands, buddy? I had to start doing the accent so they would understand me. Sure. We have to change your voice now. What is that voice? You get we get weirder every time we come. I feel like that's he.

He didn't just greet me with that voice. He took a hard gear. He were wearing his suit the last time we were here. Oh, that's right. The suit era. The suit era. Is that over? Sorry.

Yeah. Now he's doing like, I'm Namastey, Steven Seagal Hawaii vibes. I like the glasses. Yeah, looks good. Yeah, good. Yeah, good. That's great.

So you were there for how long? A year. A year. How many movies do you make? I was fourth assistant director on Musafir. That's not directing. A big pot boiler. That's not directing.

Oh, I got it wrong. Wait, fourth assistant director? Yeah, that's a PA. I don't want to say anything. He's a gopher. But, wow, so you, where did you stay in India? In Juhu, Juhu Beach. It's a very filmy part of it, Bombay.

Juhu Beach. Did you want to get into that? Is that why you went there? No, I... Did you get kidnapped or something? What is why you so aggressive? I'm just shocked. Yeah, round eye, take it easy.

How do you grow up, like, you're seven-day Adventist, right? I went to film school at University of Michigan, and they came over. What's the seven-day Adventist? They're the ones that you can't, like, put-loos. What are you reading, by the way? You know all these things. Very educational. It's like a lot of Filipinos are seven-day Adventists.

Well, they're the ones that... You're Filipino? Like footloose, you can't dance. You can drink coffee. You're vegetarian, right? Yeah, kind of like Mormons, but we worship on the holy seventh day. You're Filipino? fucking guys all over the place

Filipino I'm an Indian Filipino I live in Juhu Beach Wait Kevin you didn't know that she was Filipino? No I knew she was Filipino I thought you looked at her I got you Filipino no no no she was explaining the religion and she said a lot of

Filipinos are I thought most Filipinos were Catholic yeah Filipino is largely Catholic the whole south of it is Muslim and then I don't know a lot of like Filipino Americans SDA for sure A lot of SDA, yeah. What the fuck is that?

Seven-day Adventist. All right. Give me a favor. I had a long week. Seven-day advocateist. Is that something with Mormons or something? Similar. Similar.

Similar. Yeah, yeah. George, are we misrepresenting their religion? Oh, no. It came out of like 1844, like the late 1800s. There was a new revival of Christianity in America. Yeah. And it came out of that whole movement.

Do you still practice a lot? No, because you'd have to like go to church on Sabbath, on Saturday. Okay. Because they're going back to the Jesus' religion. Okay. You know, the real stuff. Because, you know, the Pope is the Antichrist because he changed the seventh day. If you're ready for the end of the world, I can tell you how to avoid it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we really want to know. I know all about rapture. This is what you were raised in. Yeah. Okay. I want to know. I want to know.

What do I do? Well, the Pope's the Antichrist because he changed the Holy Sabbath Day to Sunday. Whoa. Who is Sinait O'Connor all of a sudden? Bastardizing God's rules, okay? So the mark of the beast is actually worshiping on Sunday. Oh. So when the end of the world comes, you know, to get saved, you got to just worship on Saturday.

If you didn't have a microphone, they appeared and you were on the street, people would think you're crazy saying all that. Which I respect. Yeah. So if I went on Saturday's church and stuff, but I didn't believe in God, am I good? Halfway there. Halfway there. You're going to listen to this guy? What is that?

That's their leader. That's their, like, Joseph Smith. I wouldn't you why. It's a woman. Yeah. That's pretty progressive for back then. Sure. That's great.

That's great. Wow. Not a lot of titty on that. Do you handsome woman? Let's pause for that. Let's pause and reflect. Not a lot of titty. You're talking shit about the Pope.

You're back in LNG white. LNG apartment. That garb seems so hot. That must have sucked. And you have to do every individual button. Look at that. Those aren't. Crazy.

You got to make all that shit. Yeah, yeah. Those aren't snap-ons. Mm-mm. You have to go, every morning, oh, good morning. And then do it, doit, do it. Imagine being half drunk trying to make a move on her? Isn't the lore around, like, petticoats?

You know when women had, like, multiple layers of clothing and the skirts? Apparently, that was because it was, like, the era of, like, venereal disease. Mm-hmm. And it would mask the smell of the venereal disease. God damn. God damn. I don't know if that's just the lore. I don't know if that's actually true, but.

Well, you could smell syphilis? You could smell anything. After a while. It sounds like syrup. Canadian syrup. Can you tell, if I smelled gonorrhea and then syphilis, would that be able to know the difference? This one's tangier. This is syphilis.

This one has more ooed, you know. Ciphylus is actually not, gonorrhea would probably smell more because it's like a bacterial thing. Cephalis is like a long progression, like a chronic sickness. Hi, man. Do you have any diseases? No, man, but sure about that? You've never had? Do you have to praise this woman or what?

We're not shit What are you saying? You mean, a praise her? Like she's property? What do you mean? We're not shit. Oh, praise her. Like, God and stuff.

Or like bow down her and pray to her. Yeah. I don't think so, do it. No, that's not the way they do, right? You just read all of her books. She wrote the great controversy, which is all about the big war in heaven that's happening right now.

Right. Oh, wow. There's a war in heaven? Yeah. Whoa, whoa. Who's fighting? Who's fighting up there? Is the Santa versus Moses?

Like, what is it? Red, red, red, versus Jesus. Moses drops back, passes to Moses. So they don't think all that stuff happened in the beginning of time. The fallen angels and all that stuff. Oh, no, just wait, which ones? Because why is the devil up there?

Shouldn't he be down there in hell? Why is he beefing with... I don't remember. It's a long book, and I... I skimmed through it once. He has an all-access pass, I think. Don't you think? Pass-pass. Don't think he has a pass to get up there? The devil?

Yeah. Because he's an ex-an angel, right? an angel. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are, I'm out of my depth on this one. Yeah. You really?

What about dinosaurs? You didn't believe in that? Not religious. Me either. You didn't. Well, dinosaurs, actually, dinosaur Bob came to my grade school. In fifth grade, I learned that dinosaurs were created during the flood. And, you know, why you have different stratas of, like, dinosaurs is because the fast

dinosaurs could run to the top of the hill. And that's why every dinosaur is at a different era. Like, so they're really, like, the amoebas are at the bottom. and then they got filled in with the flood. They got drowned, and then you have like every little like this. So like, yeah. Right on. Bobby, why don't you play this song?

Thank you, Mr. Spreeball. Dinosaurs. Yeah, really? Interesting. Do you believe this? Or you're just, it's... H. Don't, don't. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Don't ton him. Yeah, yeah. Very good. Good information. How are you preparing for the colder season and spending more time indoors in your bedroom? Yes. Staying comfortable inside with your Helix mattress, correct?

Of course. You know, I have rooms. Okay. Plenty. Yeah, not as big as Andrew Santino my house, but, you know what I mean? It's pretty good. Yeah. A couple rooms.

All my rooms have beds. All my beds are helix because if I have guests, you know what I mean? We have, you know, if we are going to Civil War and some, you know, Some bearded man. Wanted to spend the night. I would want that bearded man to sleep on the best mattress possible. Yeah, good night's rest. Yeah.

It's, you can fill out a little form. It's so easy. You just take a little quiz and let them know if you're a back sleeper, a side sleeper, what aches and paints you have, and it matches you with the perfect mattress. For instance, like I run really hot and I'm a side sleeper, so I got matched with a midnight mattress.

I sleep upside down, you know. You do? And they have a mattress for that. Yeah, that helps me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And has your sleeping improved? Yeah, I did.

For sure. Because of helix. Exactly, dude. It really is the best mattress. And I don't know what you use, you know, it's probably some bamboo sticks or whatever, but whatever you do. You know what I'm going to encourage you to get a helix, you know. Because the cold season is coming up. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, my partner. Cuffing season. Cuffing season. Yeah. So, guys, if you want the best mattress, you want the slept king, if you want to sleep like the sleep king, sleep on heat. Helix. Go to HelixSleep.com slash belly for 20% offsitewide. That's helixleep.com slash belly for 20% offsite wide.

Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com slash belly. Oh yeah. This segment is presented by a cash app. The other day I was online, maybe a couple weeks ago. So maybe two weeks ago. And I, you know, I like to buy cologne. A lot.

But, you know, buying cologne online. Mine is crazy because you're not smelling it. I've seen you in action. Oh, blind purchase. Yeah, you're blinding it and you're reading the description. It says like, okay, foresty, but also with a floral scent. You know what I mean? With a little bit of lavender and, um, ooh.

And you think, I think I'm pretty sure I'd like this. You think you, you go, and then it comes and you spray it. You disappoint. Yeah, and you spill like a Hungarian gulag. Yeah. So, Colilo, do you have any items that you've purchased? I'm a little bit more of a careful shopper, but I would say one... Oh, wow. Shots fired.

One of my more recent ones, I think just because, like, as like a mom, you want to buy everything all the time for your kid. Like dumb stuff at like three in the morning. Yeah. So most of my... Like what? A rattler? Like, for instance, right? You're like, oh, he likes...

Three in the morning, you're bringing a rattler. Not a rattler. Like you're like, oh, he's like, he probably doesn't need one for like a couple years, but let's buy him a whole kitchen set. Oh, God. Why? I don't know. You think he's going to be a culinary genius?

But it's a type of stuff at 2 a.m. when you're like, oh, I've now spent a grand. How about Samo and baby socks? I mean, he's a pretty big. Got big feet? Big feet. He does have big feet. Yeah, yeah.

No. That's what I would do if I were you. So not worth it. Not worth it. I think always worth it because for the memories. for the memories and just for the silliness of it all. Hi, May. I go to websites every now and then.

What kind? Just websites where they sell stuff. What kind of stuff? Why are you saying it this way? That sounds so shady. I bought some, uh, are you trying to say mahogany? Mahogany. Mahogany what?

You just got like eight by five pieces of wood? Mahogany. Four by five. And what are you going to make? A hut. Okay, okay, okay, I get it. That's the, if you're going to, if you're going to Big a hot, mahogany is the root word.

Yeah. Was it worth it or not? I haven't got it, but I think it is. Great. For a limited time, new cash app customers can earn $10 if they use code Secure 10 in their profile at sign-up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash-up is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash Apps

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Cash app. So there's levels to the dinosaurs, fossils, I'm very sorry. Well, yeah, the fast ones. Okay, good. I fucked up by saying that. That's why you have like bigger dinosaurs at the end, at the top.

Yeah. Top of what? Like the stratas of like the era is like, you know, like there was. Like where you find the fossil. Yeah. Yeah. So if you dig deep enough, there's like older.

The old fat dinosaurs. Oh, there's little tiny ones. Oh, cute. Yeah. You know those tiny T-Rexes? So, cute. Yeah, they're adorable. So the franchise of Jurassic Park.

Okay. Is that any relation to this? She wrote that book. Yeah. The Jurassic Park is factual. It's from by Ellen Gould. By that white lady. Yeah, very good.

And Stephen Spielberg. Yeah. Have you ever met Mexicans before? What's up? Yeah. No, I'm asking these guys. Yeah, they have. Yeah.

Well, you're from the East Coast, more Puerto Ricans. It's more Dominican and more Puerto Rico. Dominican. Yeah, yeah. Got it all, baby. You live in Queens, the most diverse place on the planet. Yeah.

Whoa. No dinosaurs, though. No, yeah. Queen, you both live in Queens? Nah, I live in Manhattan. Manhattan. Do you guys see each other outside of work? Hmm.

Touchy subject. I mean, because, let me say something. People seem to think that me and Andrew hang out all the time, but no, it's mostly work. Sure. Sure. Yeah. We work a lot, though.

That's not true. We all hang out. Yeah, that's true. This podcast hangs out. We hang out more, I think. You guys all go out together. Yeah, we just thought so there's Sunday, family function. Family function?

Well, she had her... My baby's birthday. Baby's birthday. Okay. Everybody went to that? Yeah, well, I went. What about George didn't go? Everyone was invited. We're all invited.

Do you guys go? Gilbert didn't go? Alex went. Why didn't you guys go? I was in Torrance. Oh, pretty far. Pretty far away. What about you, George?

I was sick. I can't go out on Wednesday. He's the dinosaur. I'm teasing you, George. I'm sorry. So you guys don't. I feel like he's getting mad. He's going to murder you.

On the seventh day, you will go ahead. But you guys don't, then. No, we do. We'll go to a, you know, we'll go to a game. We'll catch a dinner. You know, but we see each other, when we see each other, he's got the baby and, you know. We also work, like, three or four days a week together.

So it's like we're together a lot. Oh, right, right. You know what I mean? So it's not like we're just, like, meeting. And I'm a lot. Sure. It's not like we're meeting up, like, once a week to work.

We'll get beers or something. Yeah. So you go to spots. Spots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you the more, because in my relationship with Andrew, he's the responsible one. Yeah. So you're the responsible one?

We touched this a little bit. He's Abraham Lincoln. All right. So you take on what, how many percentage of the work do you take on? Outside of the show? No, just in the show. 90%. Yeah, a lot of the work.

A lot of the business. Every bit of our success was engineered. by Kevin Ryan. Yeah. And I'll be honest. And I'm saying this. Okay. This is fact.

I think we've gotten far enough now into the podcast there. This is fact. Nobody did what this guy did. Hey. Nobody did. No. From nothing. We weren't famous before.

Yeah. Engineered every strategy. One of the best patrons. One of the best. We got a big fight before we came over here. One of the best like... Huge cock. Huge cock.

No. That is our... First of all, for the listener, we're on day 10 of a trip. So it's just where, you know, we've been living together, just tensions are high. Please, please, please, please,

tell me what the fight was about. Please, please, please. No one incident, just... I know, but that's what I can tell. Because I know that Andrew, right, you build resentment, right? Do you guys get in fights, fights? Oh, yeah.

Now you do? Oh, yeah. Because I remember we were in Austin together and we were in the car and you're like, do you fight, do you guys fight? We're like, we're also wildly, we come from broken dysfunctional family. Yeah, so normal for us. So do we.

Yeah, yeah. So it's like, it's not great. You know, it's like we just blow up and then fucking move on. Yeah, so what was the fight about earlier? A lot of stuff going. A lot of stuff going on. You know a little bit of it. Okay, aside from that.

Is it, is it resent? Am I wrong here? No. But then if they talk about it, you have to talk about your fights. The real one in London. All right We'll lead with London

And we'll lead with L.A. What's your problem, Bubby? All right, you guys go for us And then I will go Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I had a rough summer and I put a lot of stress on the boys. I see.

Yeah. It was just, and listen, we've been together for 10 days. But that's not why I said that. He's joking. He really did engineer like this crazy thing. We understand what you were trying to do. No.

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's what I do. What you do is stuff that I've done. Okay. Yeah. How long have you guys been friends? Yeah, 15 years.

How the fuck did you? I know, yeah. I thought they piped that in from the outside. What are you that? School newspaper? So what do you guys like to do in your free time? We've been friends since we started comedy. We started around 2008, 2009 and Philly.

Ravenland. Or I'll go first then. That's it. And then you go. No, that's really it. Oh, so there was no. Like, when you guys fight, there's no screaming. Of course.

Of course. Of course. We're fucking dysfunctional. Today was a little different. You know, I'd been putting the boys under a lot of stress. And it kind of, you know, peaked. Came out. Right.

Yeah. Would you take on some more workload so that resentment doesn't build up? It's not that. It's not the work. Yeah. It's not the workload. He wouldn't want me doing this. Can I be honest with you?

Yes, please. That was a nothing burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was a nothing burger? and now I have to do my big thing at London, that's not fair. Yeah, right? Yeah, you didn't give me enough. Yeah, you didn't get enough.

I don't think you should talk about that. Because there really isn't anything, there really isn't. Because the London is juicy. It's too juicy. Then hit us. Yeah. No. Why? Ours wasn't juicy enough. Yeah, yeah, get me juicy. It's not tit for tat.

Yes, it is. Give me juicy. I'll give you juice. Okay. Let's juice it out, dude. It's, this honest, this one wasn't, it wasn't that juicy. It was, we had a bit of a snafu with doing a Patreon episode. Okay. We are like,

okay, we have to scrap it and can't use it. That's all. I've been fucking up all summer. I had a bad summer. Yeah.

And I've been driving these guys crazy. Yeah. Depression, anxiety, mental illness, personal stuff, you know,

and I've been wearing it. 2025 has been fucked for a lot of people. I hear you. It's been rough there. I hear you. It's okay, man.

Ralph screams that man. Get off of me. Who invited this guy? Ralph screams at you? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, well, your dynamic is different than because he's best friends with Ralph Boboza. Yeah, yeah, I love Ralph.

Of course. And they grew up together as kids. Yeah, that's a little deaf's like 20 plus years. Yeah, yeah. Not to brag. I think you just did. You better hang on to him like grim to death. I love that, dude.

By the way, speaking to Ralph, I said this the other day, a bit of a glow-up as far as his look. He's got the hair long now. I agree. He looks like a fucking movie star. Yeah, he does. Let me tell you something. Action buddy cop movie couple of years, Cam Patterson, Ralph Barbosa. Oh, yeah.

Right? Yeah. Right? Are you a casting director? I love it. No. But I'd like to have you play the sergeant. I'll be the sergeant in the movie. You'll be the angry, you know. I don't know. I don't know if Sergeant talk. Let me let me give a try. Allie-up. Up! Up! What are you?

What are you a basketball coach? I don't know. Attention! Right, did they say that? No. Have you ever played a cop? Get a line. A cop, Bobby, cop.

Oh, I thought I was in the military. You're doing lieutenant. Oh, really? I thought it was military. No, like, you know, the cop. You know, the captain. Barbosa, Patten, get in here. Barbosa, cat.

Wait, Barbosa, who? Camp Patterson. Barbosa, Paterson, get in here. Let me do it, let me do it. Bobosa, Cam, get in here. We'll let you know. That's, I liked it. It's all right.

You'll let me know? I'll let you know. It was a cold read. Hey, this is Hollywood, baby. Okay, all right. It's all cold reads. Yeah. I lost it in the room.

Have you been in the room? Can I ask you that lately? Or is it all self-tapes? I haven't been in the room in probably pre-COVID. It sucks. No, I never like the room. You're crazy. You like the room?

That's what you're book in the room, not the part. Go in there, hey, I'm good to see you. Yeah, yeah. I send my tape in. I look, fuck. I probably can get past the sle of. Yeah. Wait, do you do tape Do tape with him? No, they'll do it in the studio

Sometimes I'll have like one of our producers do it or whatever. Yeah. Do you give notes? No, it's usually before or after I've left. He does that on personal time. Right. Because he's more of the actor than you are. Yeah. You don't ever want to do it. Not really, no. I've never been drawn to it. He did it, you know, before kind of comedy or whatever. Yeah, I've never just been drawn to it.

And so do you slate? Yeah, I sleep. I don't think you slate, dude. I do slate. I do slate. I've been pushing back on it lately You slate good? I mean, what's slate good? Hi, I'm H. Foley. I live in New York. I'm 5-11. Well, fuck yourself.

No. I need this. Don't fuck this up for me. That shit's so dumb. It's so dumb. You booked the room. You booked the job through the slate. Yeah. Then what the fuck is that? You just took what he said. What do you mean? When he said you booked the room.

No, he's saying that most of the times the casting directors don't get past the slate. So the slate has to be good What's a good slate then? As a novice, what's a good slate? I don't know I mean, this is my theory Hey, oh, tell me ho!

My theory is this is that I try to get them to laugh through the slate. You know what I mean? Sure. Like, I'll go backwards. You'll go backwards. Yeah, yeah. 5-11.

Yeah, I'll slate my back. Los Angeles. No, I'll just turn my whole back. My hell back, okay? You know what I mean? Or I'll like start giggling. I'll just do something. Do people do business?

like corny bits like I'm in a shimmy, you know what I mean? Do you ever do the slate in character, whatever, whatever you're doing or you just, do it? Hey, forget about my Bobby Lee. Who's that? Hey, I'm five foot four, Bobby Lee. You know what I mean?

I'm slate and I do the, hey, forget about it. Oh, you'll do that. Yeah, yeah. That's good. You're also Bobby Lee. What do you mean? You know?

You're a known actor. No, not a known actor, man. I'm not a known actor, you know. You'd be surprised. They go, what have you done? That's crazy. No, but that's it. That's the industry's problem, Bobby.

That ain't you. I know, but there's always been a disconnect. I've already said this before, but there's always been a disconnect between what's going on in the world and what they're doing. Sure. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's a lot of like, although last night I was at the comedy store. Uh-huh. There was a lot of fox people there. Fox people. Foxy people. Fox people.

Okay. From the network. No. We're in Hollywood. They're from the woods. Oh. Foxes. You like Fox? I like Foxes.

No, there was, and, and, you know. What? What is happening? Like Fox News or like Fox? No, no, no, no. Brett Bear wasn't there. I love Brett Bear. Brett Bear.

Brett Bear. No. It looks like a cartoon character. No, I just have, you know, you, over the years, you have relationships with it. So they, you know, I mean, I said hi to that way. What were they doing there? They did a showcase thing at the, like, Fox New Faces or something.

Which those things never work. Yeah. What? That's weird. Why? Fox New Faces. No, like they're seeing the new kids. Like a showcase.

Yeah. What? They're gearing up to make a run. Yeah. Looking at fresh young, hot talent. That's why we're in town. Yeah. But do you have like those kind of new faces-y things?

I never was. We've never done any of them. Yeah, me either. We've literally had zero industry. Zero. anything. I'm not even joking it. No one's ever been like, do this or here's this thing. Yeah. Not one

time. Not one time. Kevin Ryan did it all. Not, okay. Did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's Kevin Ryan, new face. What do you mean? So you've never, like, never done We've never done. Netflix hasn't said, hey, come do a show. No. No, nothing. Wow. We had some big Hollywood meetings this week. That's more in town. All right. All right, good, good.

Suck our dicks. Who with? Gelsons. Gelsons. Gelsons. Rows. I'm a cashier next week. part-time training. Wow. Yeah. So you did go today and you're pitching ideas? Yeah, but like. More general.

More what are you doing? What are we doing? Yeah, it's just like, they're like, oh, you guys are doing great. And you're like, yeah, you can't. I don't know. Can you tell me what companies you want? Yeah.

Kevin Hartz. Great. All things comedy. All things comedy. Oh, that, yeah, that's easy. North Hills. North Hill. Would you see at all things?

The new guy. Billy. Billy. Bill. Bill. Bill. Billy. Yeah.

He's the best. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, everybody's great. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you guys are with him.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not? Yeah, yeah. Because they knew we were doing time. We know what you're up. But Billy was head of comedy at Hulu for a long time. Yeah, yeah, he was great.

No, everybody was really nice. It's just, like, very much, I don't know. Kevin Hart's got a nice place. Nice joint. We sat in, there was, like, a 70-person conference room was, me, him and one other guy. Wow. Were you nervous? What?

No. We were pretty hungover. Nervous. Over. Whoa, I like the confidence. What are you talking about? What do you mean? Is it that that's a valid question?

nervous. You know, an open micer with a number on my check? What are you talking? Hi, H. Foley, 511 from New York. They never gave us anything. We took it.

What are you going to do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you have a plan thing when you go in there? No, not really. We're good at winging it. Yeah. We do have a plan thing. We sign with new management.

We have like an 18-month plan of things that we're in the process of producing. Oh, great, good. Scripted on scripted. Great, great, great. You can send it a self-tape. See if you work out for any of the projects. Would I have to,

to read for you guys, you think? Shut up. No. Yes. Never. Never. It's because, like, you're not going to, let's say you'd write a drama movie and he comes in. Are you talking us?

He talks to the space. The area. And then you say you're trying to make the people laugh, but what if it's a drama role? Yeah, dumbass. You do that shit on Christopher Nolan will fucking bounce you with that weird soundtrack. Eh, eh, eh. I saw a tenant on a plane. I almost fucking freaked out.

Pull it back with that a little bit, will you? Yeah, pull it back. Jesus Christ. Have you seen the new PTA movie yet? Yeah, I want to see it. It's out. I know. Is it Paul Thomas Anderson?

Yeah, I hear it's incredible. It's his best one yet. Yeah, I heard it's a masterpiece. I hear it as well. Yeah. Did you see weapons? I did not. I did not.

Why? Heard it's really good. Do you see it? Not yet. No, it's too dark. I love that movie. Don't you love that movie? Children and...

I don't know anything about it. I don't do it right now. Oh, you're not a film guy. Not really. I also have a kid. I can't watch it. I have like no time to watch anything. He's three months old.

Oh, really? Oh, really? Yes. Oh, but you have time to do this? He's a mother. This is a fact. You have time to slurp, slurp, slurp. Yeah, I'm a cow.

Yeah, but when you're slurping, slurping, slurping, why can't you just watch something? You literally have time for nothing. Nothing. Do you switch tities? Sometimes I will, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you will? You have to.

Yeah. Is your wife breastfeeding? No, we're doing it. I'm doing it. Get the good stuff What comes out of their age? Mountain Dew. Yeah, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Is that what you're breastfeeding? Yeah. You can't do both, right? You can't do what? You can't do formula and breastfeeding. You can do both. I thought you said you can't do both. You can do whatever you want.

I don't know anything about it. Yeah, but. A bunch of suckers, hey, Bobby? Yeah, we go for it. We can't fucking hop on a jet right now and go to Reno. Sit alone in a hotel room. I mean, can I ask you guys something? Please.

Give me the three. Have you seen him? Whoa, in the middle of a question. This is like whack-a-mole of an interview. Is that a movie? Yeah. You have notes? Kind of.

Wait, what? Let's see them. No, no, no. Can I see the notes? He never shares them. He never shares them, yeah. How did you? There is mostly stickers on that note.

I thought, I thought Foley said, that as a bit, just so the audio listener out there. Yeah. Did you know these guys before? No. You just started kind of working here, right? Yeah, thanks to Ralph. Through Ralph, you guys met. So Ralph came here with Jaime. Uh-huh.

And he was sitting over there, Jaime. Uh-huh. Yeah, and I looked at him, I go, what is that? He did the same thing in our studio. Called security on him. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? You went over there? No, you came. Remember you came out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go sleep. You did? Sorry, we bored you. No, it's because Well, I was in it.

That's right. You guys were. fucking drinking. Yeah, we were. But you didn't have them on the pod? No. Oh, this guy's gold. They had, they had just started, you guys had just started the podcast and Ralph was

promoting something. Oh, I see. Okay. All right. No, we did not see him. Okay. Can we move on? Yeah. It's pretty wicked. What the fuck is him? It's, it's, Jordan Peel produced a movie movie.

Oh, yeah. Oh. Is that the football one? The football one? He's in a position that I, I don't envy. A lot of pressure, probably. What, a rich, famous director? Yeah. I'm a suck. getting your dick sucked all the time You're Slayton Yeah

What Bobby Slaten? Oh I said your shout out to the pit bull Oh Thank you Why do you think he's in a bad spot? It's just a lot of pressure I don't know I You know

He hasn't texted me back in like A year Yeah That's your boy I just assume he's busy Sure With his own stuff Come on

You got your own stuff too Yeah yeah You're Bobby Lee dude Why do you keep saying Because we're not being dumb You're our favorite You're dumb too dude I am dumb

Yeah yeah I'm real dumb Give me three positives now. About what? Anything? No, if I wanted a baby. About... Parentshood?

No. Let's say you guys, we're at a cafe. I don't know we have to be at the cafe, but let's say we're a cafe. I go, hey guys, I'm thinking about having a baby. Give me some positives here. I got nothing. But you're still super early. Yeah.

It's like he started laughing and smile. Like that, once that happened, the first couple of weeks you're like, this, what did we do? This is fucking crazy. Yeah, it's just a good. It's just a grind. It's just like, and you're sleep deprived, and you're like, you feel like you're smoking mess. Like you're just like up, you're, you don't know what day it is. It's fucking crazy.

Wow. And then you're like, at that point, then you start thinking, you're like, well, this was it. Everybody's like the second you see them, it's going to be the bed. I'm like, well, that didn't fucking happen. You didn't happen. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah.

But, like, once you start smiling, you can connect with them and stuff like that. It's awesome. It's like a, it's very weird. So what's a smile like? He looks like a big fat Irish baby. Yeah, yeah. A little guy. when he sees you?

Yeah. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. So when they smile and then what else is another positive? That's about all I got. They're really?

Really? Really funny. They're funnier than any walking adult. They're funny. They're weird and funny. Funny. They're funny.

They're funny. Kids not on Fox moon face. Never when my baby just went up to you and decided he's going to bite your nose for no reason. Yeah. That was cute.

Yeah. That was funny. Are you Uncle Bobby or will you be Uncle Bobby? He's Uncle Bob. He is now petrified of me now. I think it was because it was a lot of people in one setting. But if he's one-on-one, you guys, he likes it a lot.

He was, like, if he's facing me, he goes, and he just pulls his, pulls away from it. They go through a stage of, like, stranger danger. But it's normal. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, you know what I'm just so excited. I need this. Sure. Do you want to have a kid?

Fuck that. Get out of it. That's what the fight in London was about. You and me, kid. Woo. Come on. I think, who said this? Somebody said this to me.

Oh, your stepdad said this. Roger? Roger said to me the other day, he goes, don't have one. He said the same thing. And I go, right? And I go, why? He goes, you're too old. By the time he's 10, you'll be 64.

Yeah. You know what I mean? My dad had me in his 60s, and it was like half of my life was watching him die. So it was pretty crazy. I wouldn't recommend too old, but you're not in your 60s yet. You're 50, what, four? Yeah. You're fine.

Also, another thing that this is what I heard that you need is a partner. Yeah, it's got to be someone you like like to. I know. I'd say love, but that's your thing. It's got to be someone you meet at the bus stop or something. You know what I mean? What about you big guy? You want to have kids?

Yeah. Yeah. How old are you? You're young. We're 29. 29. You got a girl? No.

No? What happened to that one girl? She saw the notepad. She stole my cue cards. Did you see him? She was the batty, the one you sent food to her. You're dating a baddie? A girl down there?

Addie baddies. Texas? Single mom, right? By where you guys are? Yeah. You boys are probably doing all right then, ain't you? He's doing all right, too. Oh, no, you're struggling?

Your cool cars and... No, I'm struggling a bit. You're killing it. What do you mean? Ralph's kidding it. You're killing it. How long have you been doing stand-up? Two years now?

Look at where you are now. Yeah, that's a pretty good fucking... in two years. It took us 15 years to get here. Yeah. Yeah, that's a pretty good thing. You should be grateful. I got to start keeping notes. Get the big dog. Give me some stickers, will you? Yeah, Rob has it all

right now, so. Well, you were just casually seeing this bird? Then it fizzled out. Do you remember who I'm talking about? Are there many that many? She friends on me. How? She's like, hey, I wouldn't fuck him. I got to explain this to you? How? I think she went back to her baby dad.

Yeah. Oh, what are you doing with that? Yeah. Did you try? Did you make moves? I sent her flowers. Oh. He's a sweet young boy.

Sweet boy and I liked that for you. Where'd you meet her, if you don't mind me as soon? On the apps or something? Mutual friend. Yeah, yeah. A mutual friend. But she already had a kid. She had two kids.

Two kids? What are you doing? She's 72. Did you make a... That's the move you made is you sent flowers. Well, she was sick, so I was like, oh, you don't want to be sweet and send her flowers. And you sent her flowers. And you sent her, like,

soup too, right? For food. Couple of Kansas soup. Oh, that's so sweet. Did you meet the kids? We're on FaceTime one time. Did you go out on a date with her? Not yet. Not yet. Oh, what did you mean? What did you mean? You just liked her. You met her?

You never even met in person? Yeah, we met in person, but like coffee, but not like a dinner date. Oh, I thought you guys were like legit dating. No. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, she faced. Oh, I told you right. When she was FaceTime Mimi. Yeah.

And her kid pumped up in the screen. And she, the kid is like, Papa. I was like, oh, no. Not yet. And what'd you say? Hmm? Did you bang her? No.

No? Yeah. No. No. Nothing. You kissed her. Coffee, yeah. They kissed her.

On the cheek. On the cheek. This guy's a gentleman. You are a gentleman. I have to say it. Kind of flowers. Rose. Yeah, look at Kalala.

She wasn't there. Peanies? No, no, no. The white ones. Orchids? Dazis. Orchid. Daisies.

Daisies? Daisies? You can order daisies? I thought you just get those in a lot of course of street. Orchid. Orchid. You sent her an orchid. Yeah, yeah.

That's nice. Just one? No. That's what you sent her? A whole. What do you call those? A whole. The whole dozen.

With moss and everything. Yeah, the whole dozen. A dozen. A dozen orchid doesn't exist. That's a lot of orchid. That's a lot of orchid. Well, it's some flowers. It was like.

It's a sunflower. It's a sunflower. Sunflower seed. It was a sunflower. Yeah, yeah, ranch, ranch style. It was an orchard. Got her a bag of Dave's Killer Bread. Did you go pick him up or did you order them online?

I ordered them. I got them delivered. Got them sent over there. So you guys were talking, you got on a coffee, talk to the kid on FaceTime. She wasn't feeling well. He sent her some flowers. Yeah. And then got back from on the road.

And I was like, hey, let's get some dinner. And then she's like, hey, I think we should just be. friends. I don't want to seem like I'm interested in you. You go get to suit back? Jesus. Yeah. I would have fucking marched over. You can never talk to her again.

I'm with Bobby on this one. You can, friend zone? Fuck you. You're talking about you're right. You're not closing ass out there on the road? Yeah. You're not closing ass out there on the road? I don't know what that means. Yeah, no what that means. Yeah, yeah. He knows what that means. A. H. Some people are openers.

Some people are closers. He's neither. Hey. We're going to be working for this kid one day. What are you talking about? But do you know that He wouldn't, he says that he would never even get with a sex worker. Yeah. Ever, ever. Oh, yeah, I can't.

Why? Because I have to have a connection with her. Oh, you want a spiritual connection. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you also said you don't want to have to tell your wife one day. Is that what you said on my pod? You have to have a connection with her.

What do you mean? Like, I have to feel her. They can get coke. She needs to be a plug. I have to feel her love. You can't do that with somebody you just met? Really? Like a one night stand?

Huh. Really? You can't do one night stands. Wow. It won't work. Good guy. What? What won't work?

You won't get hard. Oh, your penis won't work. You got to lay off the Coke. Yeah. Yeah. Do you get hard easy? Me? Yeah.

Hard right now. So easy. I didn't for a while, but the blood's coming back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How about you? Do you get here?

Yeah. Okay. Like a lot. All right. Pretty easy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What about you? Pretty good. Yeah? Well, you know, pretty good. Doing all right. Have you noticed it throttle back as you've gotten older? I'll throttle back. Throttle back.

I like that term. That happened to me, but it's coming back. No. I find it to be very potent as of late. That's good. Yeah, yeah. Your erections or your load? Well, you know, I don't watch the porn anymore.

Really? You. So I, you know, I mean. Clear mind. Yeah, the gun is loaded. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And when it releases, my God, it's like shotgun spread. You know what I mean? It spreads all over the place. You know what I mean?

Chinese fireworks. What? Nothing? What? I said Chinese. Yeah, it's like Chinese fireworks, yeah. It's like, you know, when you pee and your, your hole is clogged up by some cum and then, you know what I mean? You spray it. It goes two different ways. Did that still happen to you? Yeah. Okay. Why are you acting? I'm not actually. I'm asking these questions. Kevin's a squirder.

Yeah. Yeah. When he comes, he shits. I told you that in private. That's what the fight was about. I shit all over my bedroom. Yeah. Wow. Have you ever done this?

I did this last couple weeks ago. Yes. Where once I stuck it in, I farted. What the fuck is right? I don't think I have. Has that ever happened? Involuntarily. No, it was on purpose thing.

Oh, I thought you were. No, but we laughed so hard. Did smell? No, but it was like a cute one too. And we go slow? I went, uh, and went, Oh, quick one. Yeah, yeah.

And then we both died laughing historically. Hmm. Sounds like a nice furl. Someone's getting friends, soon. Send her some daisies. Or kids. That is nice that you have that where you can laugh. That's, that is, that's, that's, that's, that.

I laugh every time, baby. That's a funny, that is, you can laugh with her is very funny. You don't have laughs? No, yes, I do. I'm saying that's a good connection. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not accusing you of anything.

I don't know you did. You said that was an accusation. You don't have laughs? Yeah. You don't having a good time? Yeah. I mean, do you have laughs with your guy? Of course.

Yeah, good. Folly, do you have laughs with your guy? I do. What about you, Gil? I'm more shy. My wife won't care. She's like, just fart, but I had to, like, leave the room. Still, you're married?

Because I feel bad for her. That's good. It's more I feel bad for her. I can't fart in front of significant others ever. Ever. She's not well fucking. Ever. You've never.

ever heard me fart. Have you, be honest. By accident, if I'm in the bathroom and you barge in, maybe. Mongo coconut farts. Dude, fords. Nope, nope, nope, no. I don't.

Yeah, yeah, that's you, dude. No, I've never heard seen your fart. Yeah. You've never seen me fart. I've cleaned your shit, dude. Whoa. All right, dude. On the toilet.

No, like, he used to shit his pants for fun. Old school dog. Fun. Yeah, yeah. The Prius, right? He used to shit in the bus. Yeah, like in public, he would just

like randomly, his bowels would just give out and there would have to be some cleaning involved afterwards and he would be too embarrassed to do it himself. Don't have a baby. Why? Because you can't have two of your shit. Yeah, we can be pulling together, holding hands. You would do that on purpose like as a bit? What do you mean?

No, his bowels would just give out without like a medical. No, does it. Oh, you want to get into my medical situation? I'll tell you. Do you have something? Yeah. What do you got? I'm lactose intolerant. Lactose intolerant. And I get buffalo mozzarella cheese. It's over. Really? Game over, dude. Wow.

You know what the worst one is ricotta. You put some ricotta in me? Oh, my God. It's a bloodbath. What about burrata? Oh, blood bath. Yeah, yeah. Benchengo?

Pretty good. Pepper gel. Yeah. Provalone. No, so these kind of cheese. Cooper sharp. Oh, the hard cheeses you're okay with. Hard cheese is nothing.

Parmesan or Reggiano. Because it's raw. You're fine. I'm fine. Yeah, it's raw. It's the wet cheeses that really do it for me. Nacho cheese. What?

No, that's fine, too. Nach cheese. I don't know what it is. buffalo because of the milk, I think. The buffalo. The buffalo, the buffalo, mozzarella. You a cheese guy? Me, I don't know so much. No, no cheese? I find that.

No cheese, no hookers. Fascinating man. He doesn't, in fact, he's not a complex either, like. You have a chicken finger guy? Chicken tender. Yeah. Oh, sorry, an aristocrat. What's your background?

Are you? I'm Mexican. What did you get the name from? From my parents? He sounded like a Jewish lawyer. I do? The name? No, Jaime, that's how they put it out in Spanish.

There's Jaime. He's like Jamie. Oh, okay. Your mom cook it up? She did good? Yeah? Yeah. Soapy and everything. Like he, like, sushi. Are you good with sushi? What do you mean? Am I good with it?

Good to eat it. You ever been to Sea World? My good with it. Yeah. I mean, do you eat sushi? Fuck yeah. Do you eat sushi? No. I'm a picky eater. My thing is like I'll try. I'll try most stuff, though. Oh, you will?

I'll try it. I'll try everything once, but I just, it doesn't connect. Really? So if we went, Kevin Ryan's in town I go, let's go with some sushi. Kevin Ryan's in town? What? A couple of big meetings are here. Yeah.

But would you get sushi with me? No, probably not. We went to Noble one time. Oh, you didn't like it. He's fucking freaking out. Ready to give him the fucking apple juice on the iPad. Shut him up. Put my earmuffs on.

Yeah. What's your go-to? Like meat and potatoes? I like a nice. Chicken parmesan. That's Jaime eating sushi for the first time. What was it? What exactly was?

It was a California roll. No, it wasn't. And then he started gagging. It was eel. I'm with you on the eel. That takes a minute. Yeah, that takes a minute. Yeah, that takes a minute.

Yeah. That's the best. It's my best friend. You're yelling at him. I feel like sushi is remarkably gone downhill. Oh, you think so? On a mass scale.

Wow. Yeah. And you know what? I don't really fuck with it a lot lately either. Why not? I don't know. You know what I had the other day

that fucked me up to, which I will never have again? Ramen. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm talking about ramen. You're crazy. No. I had Sukumann ramen.

Why? What do you mean? You're not going to have it again. Have you heard of Sukumann ramen? Yeah. What is Sukumann ramen ramen? It's when you're sukumann guy's dick. I'm in about that.

What is it? You know what? Your tone right now? I don't like to hear you say that. What? They're not going to have ramen anymore. Yeah, yeah. This particular style of ramen.

Do you want an investor in it? Yeah, yeah. I know that. You can't have them. They take your eyes away. wouldn't they? Put Kevin's on you. Yeah, I was with some friends

and we had Sukkerman and Raman, and I was so hungry. Can you explain what? Yeah, what is it? I'm going to tell you now, guys. What's the base broth of like a... It's a lot denser, porkman.

Okay. And you dip the noodles into it rather than... It comes in two bowls. Yeah. Okay. One of this condensed, like, broth, right? And then there's a side of noodles

with a lime and some chasu pork. And you take the noodles, you dunk it into the broth and you eat it that way. Right? It's more of an intense flavor. Gotcha. And we thought we all had seminia. Seminole. Yeah. We got

immediately went into cold shivers. Yeah. Diary. Wow. It was bad. Hmm. It happens. It does happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit's cooking for like weeks, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Aren't they boiling that for a long time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get the flavor. Yeah. It was so good, but I may never have it again.

Like, you'll be back on. You know pudding pops? Jello pudding pops? Yeah, the Bill Cosby kind? Sure. Yeah, yeah. That's the biggest mistake America ever fucking made. What? Pudding Pops?

Getting rid of those. They did? Yeah, they've been gone for 30 years. I can have a couple more than that. And it's been all downhill from there. But when I was a kid, when I got sick from it. Really? Yeah.

And I never, it was like, I dread them even to this day. Really? The thought of them. Oh, they're going. You don't have to worry about it. Okay, good. That's probably why. They're probably all recalled.

Yeah. No, they were great. I don't know what happened. We fucked up getting rid of those. It had like a thin ice layer around it and the buttons on the bottom were so good. They were great. What kind of Pony Pots do you have?

Can you pull it up? There's buttons on the bottom? It's like it had like a little shelf of ice. There he is. Oh. Yeah, he was a salesman. Who is that, by the way? Say what you want. He could move merchants. Oh, back then he could, yeah. His voice is a gentleman pudding. They're great.

You ever have those? You two are you doing for them? No. I had the Bluebell. Banana pudding. Gotcha. What do you think of high-end ice cream shops? High-end ice cream shop. There's some new ones. There's, you know, salt and straw.

Have you had salt and straw? No. We'll do like that. What's in New York? Like, Morgansteins, Van Loven, that kind of stuff. Yeah. We'll do that. My wife is all over that shit.

Yeah, yeah. Van LeWon's good. If you want, what? Nah, I'm a Ben and Jerry's man. I like a Maloney bar. You know those? You know those. You know those?

Jerry Garcia. Bangin. I do the Tonight show guy. Tonight show is great. That's great. Chubby hubby. Chunky monkey or Chunky monkey Chunky chip cookie dough

I like that from Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia I don't know if I have to say one It's in my turn Or even Benin Not Benin Jarreya Baskin Robbins I thought well Baskin Robbins? Yeah sure

You guys go to Handels? Yeah I love handles Me too Handels is great they make it there But here's the thing about handles And there's a place called Kiwi We're just redoing the same place Every couple of years It's just frozen yogurt

That you go and do yourself and then put gummy bears in. It just changes over names. You know what I'm saying? No, I don't explain it to me. It's the same fucking thing. But like for like five years, it's like handles, handles, handles. And then that goes away.

They tank it, bankrupt. Right. Right. But I think what you're saying about handles? Can I defend handles real quick? No, no, yeah. Right. Handles, they make it there.

Everybody makes it there. Baskin-Robbins doesn't make their ice cream there. I'm talking about the frozen yogurt places, not basket-roids. But why did you bring frozen yogurt when we're talking about ice cream? Handles is frozen yogurt. I thought handles was ice cream. It's ice cream. No, it's not.

There's a difference. 16 handles and handles. Oh, fuck. I have no idea what I'm talking. Can I see your notebook? I thought you were talking about 16 candles. Handles is like very indulgent, rich ice cream. Old school.

Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. What's that? That's 16 handles. There's a place, listen. Okay. That's not his fault.

There's a place handles and 16 handles. I think you're right. You know what, dude? What are we doing here? Yeah, we're not... By the way, what's up with your Joe's pizzas out here? That's not connected to New York, is it? You don't think we're going to go back and tell them?

Yeah, yeah. What the fuck? They're fucking good. They're fucking, like the original. It's not connected. They're separate, though, right? They're not connected. It's the fucking same thing, man.

That's funny because we're starting a podcast called Tiger Belly. We're doing Tiger's stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's, I'll tell you why your pizza is better. I know. The water. The water. The water. Yeah, but do you know what the joke? What are we on? A fucking Star Maps bus? You don't think we know that?

We got it parked out front. A hop on, hop off. Who's that Pat Seagack? Yeah. It's the water. It's the water. Yeah. Which I don't know if that's really true. Why is it better then? There's great pizza out here. I mean, maybe in the 50s it was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is Prince Street originally from? New York, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lower Eastside, Prince Street. Yeah. Wow. I feel like it's a gift to L.A. It is so good. It's so good.

So good. The naughty pie. Oh my God. I don't like the honey, though. The hot honey? That's everywhere now. Yeah. I'm not with the honey.

Not with the honey. Not with the honey. I'm not with the fucking honey. What are we doing? Yeah. A little bit here and there. Yeah. It's like fucking everywhere.

A pineapple. You're in the pineapple? Do a Hawaiian, of course. Yeah, I do Hawaiian. Yeah. Can I ask you something, guys? Yeah, buddy. We're talking about pizza right now.

I have a pizza question. This is about money? This is about money? And pizza. So money. We have it. Yeah. But pizza.

See? You don't worry about that, bro. You got cash. Oh, yeah, right. Killing it. Pizza. I was in New York. Okay, you guys love pizza?

Like, do you guys, like, are you like big on pizza? The school newspaper? We were talking about it for five minutes. He asked questions like a nervous informant who has a wire on him is about to get found out. He's like pizza? You like, be like drugs? You guys do drugs? Where would you get your drugs?

I would like to buy four kilos, please. It's almost as if he wasn't even in the room. He just pops in. And they pops back out. Big pizza. Are you listening to what we're saying? Yes. No, you're not.

I am. Don't listen to Bobby. Go ahead. If I wasn't listening, I would have talked about something else besides pizza. Like what? Like pineapples. I just said pineapple. Exactly.

So why do I switch to subject? Say something else. Make them look at a dick. Okay. Okay, go ask the question. Oh, you love pizza, right guys? We got that part, dude. If you say that again, I swear I got it.

Can you slate before this and take it from the top? Yeah. Pizza is good, right, guys? Yeah. What the fuck? Are you fucking with us? No. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I was in New York a couple days ago. Okay. You're getting around. Yeah, what the fuck? Paying for these flights. Uh,

the business. There you go. And, um... I answered the exact same way. I was doing, I was doing spots out there in New York. Yeah. Where were we at? New York Comedy Club.

Shout out to it. And Greenwich. There you go. There you go. You're fucking killing it. He's all right. Two years in, Tiger Belly, I'm lucky to have this kid.

He likes pizza. And I went to... I passed by the comedy cellar because I can't get in yet. But I want to Joe's Pizza, the one by the cellar. Sure. And I'm meeting...

Father Dimo Square. Yeah. It's the original. Yeah. It is? Yeah. Very good one. And I'm meeting about pizza by myself,

and I hear like a group of tourists. Fucking tourist. Am I right? You're like that. No? Hey, I'm walking here. You feel me? I feel you, dog.

You feel me? You don't got to say no more. What? I'm a tourist in New York I know where to go You're working there You're not a tourist I'm a fast-paced dude

So I don't believe that But Sure No for real Like when I'm walking Stop taking pictures Of Times Square

Emma Joe's pizza And I have big ears So I overhear everybody's conversations Is you workshoping something? I don't know I don't know what you're doing And there's a group Are you making this up?

No For real I'm about to ask a question But so there's a group of people Like a fucking madly They're like tourists They're like Oh we should

This is a place That TikTok sent to us and Joe's pizza. And the girl in the group said, yeah, I love pepperoni and cheese, but I wish to have more flavors. Is that the correct term, or should they say more topics? That was a long way to get it.

I do like the topic for discussion. Long way to get there. That woman is what you call it dumb broad. Ice cream is flavors. Yeah, yeah. Different kind of slices. But at a pizza shop, it's more, I wish to have more toppings, right?

More toppings, different variety, I think you would say. Sure. That's fucking, you know, what would you say? Unrelated, but why is it say Harry Stiles on your notepad? Oh, he's a good guy. He's on the kidnap list next. It says Jaime Stiles. He wants to marry him.

Harry Stiles and hearts around it. Yeah. That was somebody else. But yeah, what did I? Not take you off, but like the pizza toppings. You're okay, Bobby? What the fuck is the question? I thought we answered it, no?

Oh, yeah, the answer to it. You mean, is that the wrong thing to say? Yeah, like, oh. Yeah, no, you would say, you would say toppings, I think. That's why I told them. You don't want to do that shit, though. You don't want that crap. Fucking comedian, New York guy.

LA. You could do a slice of pepperoni, slice of cheese, you get out of there. Yeah. Yeah, but I told her, like, hey, that's the wrong term. You should say toppings. Wait, wait, you interjected these strangers? Yes, because, like, he's got to set these broad strings. What if she goes back and she's like, I wish they had more flavors.

Like, that's not a flavor. To me, to my mind is I wouldn't even, like, care. Why would you care? Because, so I can correct her. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I'm like, you're eating your pizza. What? You correct him all the time.

Yeah, on this, because this is being out shown all over the place. Do you want to correct somebody in person? No, I'm not going to interject like, hey, by the way, by the way, it's not fucking flavor, it's it's toppings. I didn't say it like that. How did you say it? Excuse me, you meant to say toppings. That's fucking crazy. I really like to.

It's crazy. That's insane. Did she say, do you work here? No, she's like, who are you? I just have, you know, Roba. You know Roba Ross and Bobby Lee? Wow. Okay, here.

Go for you. Here's another question. Go ahead. Do a whole story before. You cut to the chase and also let me cut the fat out. No, I like to hear this story. All yeah, go through the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're at Pan. Do the trilogy. All three godfathers. Let's do it. Okay. I'm at a Panda Express with my friend. Okay, here we go. eating. Is this in New York?

No, it's in Glendale. Okay. Okay. Is this directed to me then, because it's Panda Express? No, this is about the- It's eating. It's about us. Okay. No, it's not about eating. It's about- It actually doesn't take place. Okay, go back to it. Panda Express. They're everywhere, not just in New York. I got you. Pan-Express is Glendale. You said you were in New York. Wait.

I thought you got Panda Express out there. Wait, yeah, Panda Express and Glendale was at the Grendel Mall. Okay. What were you getting at the mall? What were you getting at the mall? Some shirts. Some shirts. Just let them. And then me and my friend

we get an argument because I told her yesterday at the hotel I was watching cable TV because that's all they have, cable TV. And I was watching the first 48. And she's like, don't you mean streaming? I said, no. They were airing because

there's a difference between streaming and airing, right? Yes. That's it. she was like no you were streaming it and you were like no they were airing it they were airing it because it was at 8 p.m. Again I don't know if that's something that you would correct

I don't think it would bother me enough to go but streaming is technically you're right. Yes right yeah yeah yeah yeah you're technically right back then there was nothing to streaming yeah the new movies coming out at 8 p.m it's airing at p.m. Yeah you wouldn't say streaming

but these new people these new age people they're like streaming. New age or just younger generation? younger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know what it is? It's these, you have thoughts, right? So we all have thoughts. Sure. These small little thoughts that pop up, right?

But we don't take the thoughts, bring it down, and say it out loud. This is why you're not getting late. I do listen. I listen. I would, I do think that's a... Say it up to a guy. Okay, but like, you just tell me there's a difference between... Yeah, there's a difference between flavor and toppings.

You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're really right. You're right. Yeah, you're right. Barcasting. Don't die on those hills.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but like, you got more important shit going. I know, dude. I don't think he does. I saw the notebook. People don't believe me. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't believe you.

The people like, when I get in arguments like this. And who was the friend? Just a friend from Burbank. And why was it important that it was Panda Express? Well, this is the thought. I think that's what I'm saying. That thought of, hey, isn't it, isn't it wacky how we say airs, but it's really streams now?

That is a thought. Yeah, that is a thought. That story does not need to start a Pandy Express. It doesn't. It does because I wouldn't be able to ask this. What'd you have? PanXpress? Nope.

Obviously, I had Pandy Express. I had beef and broccoli with fried rice and spring egg roll. Just one entry? No. So what was that going on? Oh, it was double with beef and broccoli. How did you guys split the check or did you eat? How did you do that?

Is she a friend or would you like it to be more? No, she's a comedian from here. Oh, comedian. Sorry. But I paid. Do we know her? You paid. Very, yeah. Good man. Yeah. Good man. But still, she was arguing about, like, streaming versus broadcasting.

Okay. And airing. I got it. Broadcasting. Oh, broadcasting. We got it. Do you go to Panda? Yeah. Yeah, I got a...

What's your dish? Because I have my go-to-disc. I just do the orange chick. I'm a straight. I like a... I like a... I agree. baby. Do you like the new spicy orange chicken that they have? I don't think I've had it. Honestly, I know

the orange chicken. I go, I live in fucking Queens. Yeah. I still, that's... I go to Nihawa, or whatever it's called. I think that's what it is. Oh, I was talking about Panopold. Because you guys have really good Chinese in New York. Yeah, so do you guys. I'm sure you guys have it, too. Yeah, SGV. San Francisco. Yeah. Some of the

best Chinese I ever had was in Pacifica. Yeah, Raymans. Really? If you ever in Pacifica, and the rapture's not happening. Go to Raymond's. What's that place in San Francisco we go to? Oh, it's San Tongues. And you made a call for me, right?

And they give us that little private room. You have to stay. You have to be in line by 430. Like fights break out at this place. You know it's that good. I would never do that. Yeah. No, it's that good, dude.

Have you guys been to Panda Inn in in California? Panda Inn is the original Panda Express, but they just reopened. They're high-end fancy Panics Express. And you know what? That's another mistake we made. A lot of those places have closed down. In the 90s, you go out to dinner with your Jewish.

friends' parents. You'd go to a nice Chinese sit-down. They put the crispy noodles and the duck sauce and the hamustard on the table. He had a great waiter. He'd get a drink with a fucking an umbrella in it. He'd have stuff going around, the lazy Susan in the middle. It's crazy. Oh, that's my favorite. Yeah.

Oh, a sit-down Chinese? We still have a good amount here in San Gabriel Valley. On the East Coast, they're all... It's like every strip mall. You know, like the big halls, like the really big restaurants. We still have them here. I love it. They're so good. Yeah. Like Boston Lobster and then Newport Seafood. Newport seafood. But Boston Lobster, so I think the chef, they started beefing, so he left.

He opened another place across the street called Boston Lobster, and it's the exact same menu, and it's just as good. Wow. And it's huge, too. You know what I do? You want to hear something? I would love to hear everything. I get a wanton.

And we have these big bowls. I get the wonton. Put a couple of wanton in there. Salivating. I don't know if you get a little. I get duck sauce and hot mustard. I put a packet of each in there. What's duck sauce?

Mix it around. Hot mustard? What's hot mustard? What's duck sauce? You know. A duck sauce? What are you talking about? Is it the plum sauce?

Like sweet? No. It's the orange stuff. Okay. Put that in there and then I put my egg roll, my shrimp roll in there. And I eat that with a spoon and let it soak in. Wow. Is it good?

Chinese food after this? We should. You're Chinese guy? Yeah. You're Chinese? What do you do? Yeah. Beef and broccoli?

Beef and broccoli. Orange chicken. Yeah. Doug sauce. I mean, I've been waiting for five minutes to tell you my Go ahead. Oh, yeah, that's right. We built it up now, and it's like, it's like, all right, it's already chicken.

I know, I mean, no, when I say it, they're going to be like, okay, let's move on. It's shocking. Well, no, no, it's yours. It's pretty shocking. It's not shocking. Fried noodles and lobster sauce. No, no, no, no. I want to do a guessing game. It'll take forever. You'll never guess it. Why not? I'm talking about Pan Express specifically. Oh, I know what it is. What is it?

Aplant. Yeah, it's a co-boo, yeah. What's the second? Beijing beef. Yes. Yeah. What's the third? There's a third? Yeah.

Do you know the third cloud? I don't know third. I always thought it was either cashew or orange chicken. No. Kumpal? Kumpal. Oh, Kungpa. But you got the fucking.

Bobby likes your chicken spicy? That's like to eat spicy? George is Stanford. That was racist, Bobby. Yeah, yeah. It's your nose? Hey, I remember Pizza Hut back then in the 90s? Oh, fuck, here we go.

Still around, but. No, yeah, but Pizza Hut, that we can walk in and dine in with your family. Yeah, I remember. Same thing. Jewish friends, eh? Of course. Jewish friends.

He's not Jewish. He said Jewish? No, when I would go out to dinner with my Jewish friends parents. Oh, the buffet. Wow. I love the buffet. The old school, because it's like nostalgia is such a big thing. They're opening up all over the country.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, the standard. Because the fucking crust on this is different. Yeah, it's pan. It's a pan. I know it's pan. No, I know it's pan. All right.

But there's a butter. No, there's a buttery. The buttery. The butteryness to the fucking crust. That's unlike anything else, Pizza Hut. Yeah, it's a great old school place. Have you ever been to, um, MOT 32.

No, that's what I'm saying. That's where we went. Remember, there was only four of these in the world, and one of them is in the Philippines, the Chinese, the duck place, where they, like, dance with a duck before. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the dancing duck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We love a dancing duck. Yeah, which place are you talking about? I fucking, that's why I froze. It's an old school pizza place. Shakies? No, Excalibur or it's something like that. Excaliber. Yeah, caliber.

What did you guys do right before this hit? right before what hit? Are you garbage? I thought you were talking about the drugs. We were, yeah, we were working comedians. You know? No, but I mean, he was waiting tables. Oh, waiting tables.

Yeah, waiting tables and then hosting at New York Comedy Club and doing little bit parts. And he was working the road. I was, yeah, DoorDash. I was DoorDash when the podcast was, like, pretty popular still. And I was like, I would be getting recognized and would still. Why would you still do that? You did the money, dude, because you get the money that day.

Bobby, because the industry wasn't coming to fucking save us. Yeah. He'd have put it back in. Kevin Ryan. Yeah, yeah. And this guy. Yeah. And Panda Express.

And his weird religion. And your cousin. And Bobby Lee. Yeah, wow. But it was lucky I had the, it was during the pandemic so I could wear the mask. And then, like, a lot of people, you're just dropping it at the door. So I didn't have to see a bunch of people. Wow.

Just think if you were doing that, we'd be doing. Fucking rubbing your balls on people's french fries and shit. And you're in there, you're hungry and you're driving with someone's McDonald's. It takes everything to not fucking open it up and start eating. Really? Oh, my God, I'm a fat ass, yeah. Yeah, wow. A fry?

A fry? What? A fry. No, well, it's very much sealed. Here's where I would go wrong, okay? I would deliver a food to a house, right? And they didn't tip me well, I would note that. Of course.

So the next time I get that address, then I would do something. Roaches. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll give you one shot. that's it yeah yeah

I'm not I wouldn't One opportunity Yeah I mean because I just When they don't tip People don't tip You know you've been

In the service industry Sure It's infuriating Of course Yeah Is it not It is And you know

I there was times When I couldn't tip well And now we're making I make up for lost time Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah But even back in the day

I always did 15 I'll leave something Take these roaches Yeah yeah Yeah yeah At least What 15% Yeah

That's not tipping Well, back when I was poor. Oh, when you're poor. God damn, man. Just making sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you tipping now? 20, 30?

Well, well over. Sometimes 50. Really? Yeah, you know. Bobby Lee. You're doing this too? You picking this up? But he does this weird thing if the service is really bad, then he tips over 100%.

To let him know? Don't tell you. Or why? That's the rich man's roaches. I like that. What's your motivation? Guess it? No, guess it.

Because he's going to get the guy fired. as soon as he gets home. I don't know. That's kind of a mind fucking... It's like a fuck you. Because they kind of know they're not doing well. They know they didn't deserve that. Yes. So they're going, fuck, does it make them think like I was kind of a dick and I don't know?

It's this. I like it, though. People, if they don't know who I am, people think I won't. What? Tip. I don't think visually I look like a tipper. What? You mean, because...

I just, the way of it is. I am. I've never agreed with anything more. I do have to say. I think they just assume, oh, this guy has no money, he's not going to tip. But not because of your ethnic candy cap. You mean just...

Not because you're Asian. It's not the Korean part. Yeah. It's just the way... It's just the way I am. Played back a rack. Yeah, also, I think that... Is that a thing where Asians aren't good tippers?

No, not at all. All right, all right. Yeah, and in fact, like... Give you some races that aren't. Do you have races in your head that won't tip? Mm-hmm. What are we doing? don't say it out loud.

This is like the water in the in the pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's not true either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but yeah, but anyway. Racism is what that. The reason why I do it.

That's talking about Italians. Yeah. The reason why I do it is because I usually do it in this circumstance if I know I'm going to be back there. Right. So I'll give them like 100% and go next time

treat me better. You say that to them? No, but that's inferred in the tip. Because that's going to go around hey, Bobby gave 100% tip and that's going to go to the kitchen so when you do come back in

I don't think I don't know I don't even know if that happens Or they're gonna be like you believe this idiot I fucking stiffed them and he fucking hooked me up on a hundred Yeah forgot to refill his iced tea Yeah I do that it's more of me Like you know what you're a jerk But you know what? Were they jerks or just busy Jerk? I mean dude

Remember that guy he took a fucking plate A bowl of like steaming hot Sundibu Yeah and threw it like a frisbee He like slid the bowl Across to Bobby like this Yeah. It's spilling over.

It was just so rude. Aggressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not how it's done. Yeah. You know, I don't like that. Now, do you have a cap on what dollar that would be? Like, do you cap the 100%?

Like, I'm not, you know. I think our bill was like, at what point you're like, all right, it's 50%. The most is 100. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So at 100, you'll do 100. No, but this, our bill was only like 50 something and he tipped the guy 100 bucks and he put a little smiley face on the receipt.

Yeah. That'll teach him. I like that. Yeah. Well, they have to learn. How do people learn? But that's not the excuse you gave me. Your excuse was actually quite sweeter.

You said, like, I think he's having a really bad day. Oh. So I was like, okay. Yeah. Bobby. Yeah, he probably was having a bad day. Yeah, because he was an older man, remember? Yeah.

And he just seemed really, like, disgruntled. Like, he hated his life. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I was brutal. Yeah. Especially he took at the end of my career as a server. Brutal.

bitter, pissed, fucking angry. Lazy as shit. Yeah. What's the one question they would ask you that would send you over? Can you stop eating my cheeseburger? Sir, that's my appetizer?

If fuck, he was making people got a problem. Roaches in your coffee. The one question they would ask me. Like, for instance, someone's like, well, what do you like here? What would you have? What do you think about? Yeah. You must know what? It's good here?

Got that all the time. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah. What would you say? Nothing. Really? Mm-hmm. Would you give me a scowl?

Ro. Ro. I'll be right back with your cheeseburger, sir. That's even better. You just said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know what they got with it?

What? Spit. I never did anything like that. No, it's not that. People are just, people just stink there. You know, they're in their own head. Europeans are brutal. You know?

Oh, they are. But they just don't know. Yeah. You know? Yeah, they don't tip. Australia don't, you don't. Well, Australia is not a tipping culture because they're, um, they pay their servers like $30 or more an hour.

I know. It's not about that. It's that. I get that. That's why we do it in America to supplement their income. Yeah. But that doesn't mean you can't make a fucking gesture. Yeah, I think so.

I agree. And when you come over here, they fucking know. They fucking know. I got to push. We've had this conversation. I have to push back. My wife is German and her mom was like, why do we have to tip? I'm like, that guy's making like $2 an hour.

And she was like, that should be illegal. I'm like, yeah, no, everybody kind of agrees on that. So the second, they had no idea because to them, their servers get $15, $20 an hour. Yeah. So it's like you just tip a dollar or whatever. They know. Yeah, is there a pamphlet? They know.

When you come to America, like these are the rules? This is a tipping nation. Yeah, we're a tipping nation. At this point, they should. They should, though. They know. They got streaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They know what's going on there, they should know. They're doing on purpose because they're going to be back here. They don't give a fuck. I think they know they should tip. I don't think they know why they should tip. They're not aware that the employees are not making. Because somebody brought you. I was over in fucking Paris.

I was breaking off fucking franks to everybody. So it makes sense. Yeah. And were they appreciative of it or no? Awesome. The only two things you got to do when you go to France is attempt to speak French. Okay? Walk up to them.

Don't say, hey, where is your birthday? Burger King. Pauly vu Francais. Or Pallévue deignle? So you're going to say. Right. And they love it. And if they don't speak French, they'll figure it out.

If they do speak French, they'll fucking go to bat for you. I had this lady at the fucking Eiffel Tower. I did that. She walked us all the way up. Wow. Hardy, too. Hey, dumb. Yeah.

You know what? I'm going to take a French class if I ever go to France. I would love to speak French. Bradley Cooper speaks French. I know. You're so good. Imagine that fucking guy. That guy.

That guy. Good look. I hung out with him one day. at the restaurant that I worked at. No. Yeah. Nice? Sweetheart.

Yeah. He grew up in a couple towns over. Wow. He went to the private school in our area. Wow. The one thing he did say to me is we're about the same age and he knew kids in our school would get recruited that were really good at lacrosse would get recruited to like these private schools in Philly. And there was this kid, Kurt Mueller, shout out to him. That was at our school that went there and he remembered him.

I was like, yeah, I played the cross together. And I was about this size. and Bradley Cooper went like this. You used to play the cross? Really? Yeah. Wow. You think you would remember you or no?

No. Yeah, yeah. But now you guys, though, you guys are now in the stratosphere of you're getting some big people. Yeah. Yeah. It's going well.

We're trying to expand a little more. I mean, we've had a lot of the big comedians. There's a couple we haven't had that we would like. Yeah. So you guys, it's one of the best podcasts in the world. called Are You Garbage? Thank you. We love them.

They're family to us. We love you. You've had Gary V. Jordan Jensen. Is you a good guy? Kumel Nunjani. Dude, you're getting the big ones, dude. Yeah.

Gurbies. There's Gurbies. Hugees, dude. Yeah. Wow. We're expanding out doing more, you know, trying to get more musician, you know, just more other people.

But like, not everybody's good at podcasting as you know that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like we're trying to, we're trying to, see how fat I was in that one at the top? The credit card for all right there. Yeah. I was a big boy. You were saying that I wasn't fat.

Yeah, yeah, you were pretty fat. Trying to get some Muppets. We would try to get Muppets. Oh, Muppets is good. Yeah. Is that your new studio? Yes. You got to come by.

Come back now. No, I haven't been there. I haven't been there. You don't call. You don't tech. I haven't been in New York since the last time I saw you. The kid's been there. Who?

Oh, yeah, I know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You haven't been in New York? I don't like it there. What are you talking about? I don't like it. I like it.

Yeah, it's not my city. That's got nothing to do with it, whether you like it or not. I've never hooked up with a girl in New York. Oh, that's what. I think that's what it is. I don't think they like me. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are you talking about? Yeah, one time I was walking down the street with this guy and we were going to go watch the Avengers movie. Which one? Avengers 2. Age of Ultron. Age of Ultron. You, wow.

Wow, you're really quick. Really quick. James Spader did that voice so well. And this model came up to my friend and got... Model. Supermodel. Supermodel. We would know her? No.

But she would look like it. Uh-huh. So she's not... Not a model. Not a supermodel. She looks like it. Hot chick. I'm with you on this one.

Everywhere in New York. Let me start the story over. Go ahead. A really hot chick. Mm-hmm. If I love to feel better? Yeah. Okay.

And she walked up to my friend and goes, hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I think you're hot. Do you want to fuck? No way. swear to God. So he was like a super good looking guy. Yeah, and my buddy goes, see you later, dude. So I watch Avengers Alone. I've never gotten that. I'd never go back to

New York either if that was the kid. Yeah. Most people have, have you ever gotten that like a freebie like that? No. Have you ever gotten a freebie? Not like that. What's a freebie? A freebie is, you don't even know their name. You got one. Yeah, you come on. I guess I have. And I'll tell you how you got one. Remember, she was like, my car broke down. Can I go home with you? Jesus.

Oh, yeah. And what will make her name? Do you remember? I do remember. And she lived with you for like two weeks. That's right. What? It didn't happen to me.

You shacked up? It didn't happen to me. She was really hot. I forgot about her. That's a lottery. And you weren't even working at this time. I wasn't even working good. I was just like a comeback, you know?

Good for you. Say something else, me, norm. You're right. I forgot about that. That was a fucking gift. But then it all backfired because what happened was he eventually fell in love. And then he reached. realize. Remember, one of your friends was like, hey, dude, that girl you're with, don't bring

her to the club anymore. And I go, why? Because that guy had a girlfriend. So I was just going, why, dude? He goes, I'm bringing my girlfriend to the club. I go, what does it matter if you bring your girlfriend? I can't bring the girl I'm saying. He goes, I'm fucking her too, dude. Oh, wow. And then I turned to her after the, after the call. He go, um, are you having access to so-and-so? And she goes, yeah. How many cars do you have me? And I go, who else? It was just like, you know, the Dead Sea Scrolls. Damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow. But that's still a freebie. That's still a freebie. It's still a freebie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a freebie for everybody, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like, I want freebie for me.

Potluck. Yeah, yeah, it was a potluck freebie. Yeah, yeah. But she was very, very beautiful. I remember that. I completely forgot about her. See? Thanks for bringing out.

You're right. There was another. I'll give you another one then. She was beautiful, but she had no moral, so. You know, that's a lot. No, she doesn't... It was his way of trying to slam me. No, it was it.

But it came out so poorly. Yeah. Yeah? Are you a religious man? No. Okay. You just think there's got to be a deep connection. Yes.

So I was at a coffee being. Okay. With my friend Ahmed. We have enough of this with him. Yeah. It came to express. Go ahead. You should go back to New York.

I thought he was saying that to Foley. I was like, geez. Forget the story. No, no, no. Stop. How many times have you? How many times have you? I interrupted you too.

But I interrupted you too. How many times you're going to interrupt me, dude? When I was over there, I was saying something positive. You should go back to New York. I'm telling a story. Go to New York. Go New York. I think you should do Broadway.

You go New York. I am. I think you should do Broadway. I'm not doing Broadway, dude. Why? Yeah, yeah. I think you're right. How many times?

What? All right. Wait, can I just say something? Yeah, go ahead. You're already going to do it anyway. I was in New York, right? Oh, my God. This better be good.

This better be good, dude. It's not going to me It's going good And I ran the Manhattan Bridge Twice Wow That's pretty good And I walked it at 12 on night

Which was dangerous But Chick walked up to him It was a homeless lady Yeah Yeah she was chasing me That's why you were running Not no

I run it three times So you won't have sex With something You have sex with a homeless lady? I don't know Huh? He was scared It was 12 by night.

Okay. It was 12 on night. What he's doing on a bridge at 12 at night? Taking pictures of the skyline? Oh yeah, he's a photographer. He's a photographer. All right. You're doing your art.

I'm sorry. What are you saying? And Williamsburg. You and Ralph? No, just me. I'm staying with another comic. Nice. Shout out to.

Julio dea. Oh, Julio dea. So, Kiv, you've never had a free... Very funny. Not like that. No. I mean, uh... I never had...

had the body type where a woman would just be like, let's go back to your place. So, yeah, now that I have some sort of notoriety, I'm married, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you fantasize? No, probably not. Anyway, let's move on. No, not really. No, my wife is, like, attractive. She is. So it's like very, like... Nice lady.

Yeah. We had sex, and I was like, I don't go anywhere ever. I'll marry, you know, is like very... Oh, that's what I want to meet. I want to meet somewhere of like, okay, I just, this is... I want, don't go anywhere else. Sure. Well, I also just, it was mostly like I wasn't going to get a girl hotter than her. So I was like, let me just, let me lock it in.

Oh, I see, I see, I see. You don't think? I don't know. Yeah, you have like a kind of an Owen Wilson-y kind of. I love this podcast, by the way. No, you do. You have a little kind of, what, quirkyish. Okay.

Women love guys like you. Sandy got a weird nose. A fucked up voice. No, yeah. Okay, that's a stretch, but I'll take it. No, there's a little bit, do the face. Oh. Yeah, there we go, dude.

I see it, I see it, too. I see it too, I see it. Right, a little bit in the nose, right? Anyway, okay, yeah. Yeah, but no, no real freebies. Yeah. I don't even want to tell my coffee bee one, because you're not doing it.

It's not even a good one, though. Did you, is it a freebie? Did you, is it a freebie? I've had two freebies. It was a coffee bean during the day? What? Which one was the coffee bean on? I was with Ahmed Aminna, I was wearing red shoes.

Uh-huh. The Velcro kind. Okay. And I was sitting cross like this. And this beautiful blonde comes up to me. She goes, I like your shoes. I think from Japan. And I don't know.

And I looked. I took it off. No, but I am. And there was like some Japanese writing. And she goes, yeah, those are the sons, some, so. She like knew the shoe. And she goes, hey, you're cute. And I go, oh, thank you.

You're very beautiful. You know what I mean? She goes. And she goes, come over tonight. Let's hang out. She gave me her address. This is, um... White lady?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I went over there and, oh my God. Praise the Lord. She stole my shoes. Jesus Christ. What? You hooked over her?

Yeah, she stole my shoes. Yeah, no, we did the whole thing. The whole thing. The whole shebang. Yeah, the whole shebang. But that was my only second freebie about the life. And that was it? Yeah.

Wasn't there another white girl who was, like, obsessed with, like, Kung Fu? I fetishized you a little bit. Yeah, she fetishized you. I've had a couple of girls that were obsessed with Kung Fu. food, though. You break this board before we have stuff? I went to the house, you had bamboo and like a, like a, enter the dragon. That's a little weird. Yeah, yeah.

Did the lady in the coffee mean know who you were? No, this is pre-fame. Really? Yeah, it was pre-fame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was still on Matt TV. Okay. I was, yeah, okay. That's pretty famous. What? You're famous. That's not fame!

Yes, it is. In the 90s? In the 90s? What are you talking about? Anyone want to promote you want to promote something? Yeah, we're on the road to back on the block tour. All tickets available are available at AriGGGGGGG. We each do stand up and then we close out playing

AYG with the crowd. We got a special documentary we did. Route 66. Tour bus, the whole crew. We did like, I think it was like 10 cities and 10 days type deal. Kind of good and that's all up on used to for free. Yeah. All right.

Give them around. Love you guys. Wow, wow.