TigerBelly - Ari Matti and A Giggly Guy

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

Comedian Ari Matti stops by the TigerBelly studio for the first time and brings us full Estonian vibes. We talk Ozempic workouts, funeral laughs, behind-the-scenes Kill Tony, dick delusions, goat milk culture, fat whites, and Estonia’s first boba shop. Turn those dreams into $$$ and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly  Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/p06g4a8g] #CashAppPod *Referral Reward Disclaimer: As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account.  Use our exclusive referral code [TIGERBELLY] in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App.

Music Hey, I just saw our family doctor, how is she? Yeah. And he was like, how's Bobby doing? I was like, he's a skinny mini. And he unfortunately agrees with Alex. You cannot be on the Osemps without eating protein and working out. Oh, that's so unfortunate. He was like, I'm going to tell him.

Sorry, Dr. Alex. Because you're just wasting away into like, Kate Moss. away Way What the fuck did you get that? Where'd you get that from? From Denver. Really? Yeah. And you bought it so you can play with me? Yeah. You weren't in fucking tune I go in tune. You play me something and I'll try to match you. Okay, just match my energy Not your energy the fucking- the note. The note. Not the energy. The note. Match the note. Yeah. That's too fast. That's too fast. Just give me one note. Sorry, quiet. That's okay.

That's the last one. Forget it. Forget it. Does it remind you of the jungle? Yeah, yeah, because I go to symphonies in the jungle and you're right about on point, I think. My friend has... What?

Sterling Spencer says that's how you conjure lesbians. Yeah. Because that's how you conjure lesbians. Yeah. That's how you call them in. Yeah, you're like, you're a type of lesbian. You're a type of lesbian. Yeah, like, I'm gonna have to beep this out. Which is a good thing. Successful. Gold star.

It's a gold star, yeah. He still talks to you about like, he's hooking up with? Yeah, I met with friends. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Why do you keep looking down, dude? Me or him? You! Are you still with your...

No, I'm single now Cycle fast too, huh? Yeah Match with Raya. Are you on Raya? No, we'll see if you'll get approved. Can we try? Can we try to get high? I go through the pudge. That's what you're doing Cycling through the pudge what that's what you're doing. Are you on dating apps? I mean, no, which one What? That's what you're doing. Are you on dating apps, Simon? No. Which one?

I just said no. He just said no. I mean, I heard- Odle? I mean, is there- Ole? It's for Ole. Ole.

Match with the closest beans around you. That's what it is. That's a good brand. That's a very funny joke. Write that. Write that down. No, because it's OK. You don't- Can you memorize it?

Yeah. It's not really that good. No. I like what I see on your notepad. It just says Estonia. We have to hold on. We're requiring him to ask questions, five questions. I have this joke that I did last night in Denver,

and it crushed it. What is it? So when I bring my friends over, when I was a kid, my dad would be like, no, no, no, no. Oh, he took your joke. He took your joke. I can't. Oh, he took your joke. He took your joke. That's crazy. I have a new joke and he just stole it.

Oh. Wait, Jaime, what are your preconceived- I can't believe it. So confident. What are your ideas around Estonia? What do you know about it? Estonia. It's like-

Jaime, what are your five questions you wrote down? It's like he never said it before. Before the five questions, like, what do you think, what are your five questions you wrote down? It's like he never said it before. Before the five questions, like, what do you think, what do you know about Estonia? You're a time bandit? It's like the South does. He just shows up, Estonia.

I think Finnish. What else, like, what are your ideas of it? Is it like a progressive? Like they drink goat milk. He Googled it. No, it just sounds like them. Duh. Really?

Yeah. What kind of milk do Koreans drink? What kind of milk do you guys drink? We got you back with the same question, buddy. Nice comeback. Nice comeback. Man, you're fast. I've never seen someone so fast.

Sheep milk? Okay, a little late. But it's still good. Oh my God. Imagine him doing like a... Waiting for us or... He's outside smoking with Andrea. Oh. Go get him.

I thought you were getting it. I did. I was just like, I'm done with my cigarette and I left. I go come in when you're done. You guys ever dream about each other? Hey, guys, that's a good question. Go ahead, be honest. Be honest.

Be honest. Yeah. OK. Not in a sexual way. No, but what life would have been if you guys stayed. Oh my god. Jaime, what are you doing? Oh my god. Hi. Hey Ari.

Hi. I see you on Wednesday. Ari, what's up? Good to see you. The toilet. Nice to see you again. Yeah. Yeah.

I called that Estonia. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's a beautiful country. I don't know why you said that. We have an A for Korea too. Cut that out. I already said hi to you last night.

Last night? Oh, it carries over. It carries over for the whole week. Yeah, tonight that out. I already said hi to you last night. Last night? Oh, it carries over. It carries over for the whole week. Yeah, it's a week. I said hi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, bye-bye. Yeah, he sees blind and deaf. He's really old, yeah. Perfect dog. So last night I took her and a bunch of comics to Katana, but the more people that join I was just like, oh my God, I gotta pay for the whole thing. You know what I mean?

Because they're not open micers, but a lower. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's what I meant. What I meant is they don't have, they're not there yet, financially. I come on this podcast, I get farther and farther away from you. Oh my God. You fucked me'll be in the other room.

You fucked me up so bad two weeks ago. You have no right to talk. Wait, what? Oh, I heard about this. What happened? Yeah, we all heard about this. I don't remember. We're gonna get to you.

Two weeks ago? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big drama, but also not entirely her fault. The reaction was the bad thing. I would say I wouldn't blame this on her. Well, I mean, my- We'll give the back story. No, we can't because it caused so much fucking,

you know what I mean, not trauma, but a war. A war. Yeah, who said that? He did. He's right next to you. Oh, okay. He was a ghost? He looked at your eyes.

Did I do one mistake already? I thought there was an echo. War, war. Were I do one mistake already? I thought there was an echo. War, war. Were you still looking at you fucking Eastern European fucks hard? Oh geez. Oh sorry, that was too much. Ari Maddix, give a round of applause.

So Ari. Ari Maddix. Ari Maddix. Ari, wait, what? Wait, that's a bra. Ari Maddix. Ari Maddix is a Bravo star. Yeah.

Ariana Maddix is a Bravo star. I said Ari. Ari Manist. It's another city in the Ari. Yeah, it's in the Ari. And I meant to say Ari Matty. Woo! Ari Matty.

Ari Matty. Did that offend you, Ari? No. Let me give you an intro then. Sure. I saw him perform in Austin. Yeah. Are you okay?

No, I'm just trying to get, because we were talking about last night. We don't sleep. This is too early for us. It is. It is. Yeah. I woke up five minutes before this in a, you know, in a spot. What?

I was up since like 10. So wow. What a hero. Listen, you're a sidekick. You're a sidekick. You're a sidekick. You say stuff later. What time did you wake up? Wow, what a hero. Listen, you're a sidekick? You're a sidekick? You save stuff later.

What? What time did you wake up? I wake up at 7am. Kaila, what time did you wake up? 7am. There we go. We got it all out there. Okay, can I... I know. We might as well do the whole room! Is that where we're at?

Alright, hi, babe. So, um... we might as well do the whole room. Is that correct? All right, Jaime? All right, so. Is it on? This is a crazy start, huh? Yeah, this is how we do it. So what I'm saying to you is that, why are we like this? Oh, don't let society judge you.

That's exactly what my grandfather used to say. We wake up when we want to. Society judge you. Yeah. What did you do, you play video games? Yeah, what did you do last night? Pizza in the bed. You know when you're like disgusting? You know when you wake up in a hotel and next to you is just not a woman but just a fuck

and pizza pizza sneakers bars yeah yeah just some random candy that they have at the hotel oh yeah forty seven dollars forty seven dollars it's a forty seven dollar candy disgusting it's disgusting yeah do you use your whole hand because your fingers are so short I do have small dude my night. Yeah, how he has big balls. When I used to... Don't give away his. Let him say it.

Okay, sorry. Yeah, yeah. That was good. Say you have big balls. Big balls. What's up, man? Hell yeah! Just a little sketch we were working on.

It's tiny. It's crazy tiny. You know, it's that your fingers are short. They're super short. We just said that, Kalyla. No, no, no. When I used to do boxing, I used to have nightmares at night

that I keep punching a guy and he's laughing at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine someone in punching me. Yeah, I love that guy like, oh, like this is what you do. Yeah, so let's talk about, you have a short penis? I'm a definitely, I grow like 96%. You're a grower?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, we're all fucking growers. No, no, no. I've seen some guys that- It doesn't grow. So you need to see- It doesn't grow ever. No, I'm a girl, I've seen guys where it's the same size

and it just gets hard. But how did you see it hard? Oh, I go to a spa. Oh. Wait, they're getting hard? But how did you know the full potential of the cocks? Imagine this. Dude, he was watching.

Dude, science. How do you know that? It's almost too big that it wouldn't grow. See, that's my fear, that it does grow. There's no way, though. That's my fear, too. I grow. There's no way though. That's my fear too. I've seen crazy cocks just linger around. I've seen benders, dude.

Yeah, me too, bent down. Like it's, you know, like a horror movie. Yeah, when it's harder? I've seen it hard, yeah. Really? Yeah. And it was not in my mouth, thank you. I don't think I've ever seen a hard... Whistler? Up close? Not even a heart when I have I seen a heart. I've seen a lot of cock trust me

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not but a heart is Estonia a spa culture Yeah, so not every day every day cocks out every day pussies out every day. Okay, like my mom's friends I was just a kid you would sit like in there like, you know in the lower level of the sauna Yeah, pussy like right here mom's friend's pussy, like right here. But I think that actually there are two types of people, like people with naked parents and people with clothed parents. Everyone was naked at my house. I would run around naked.

Me too. People go, why do you get naked? I know. It's comfortable. I shower with my friends and siblings and it's like not a second thought. It's super funny how Americans are always they're always like oh everyone's gay here we're super pro gay people but then when you do dick humor everybody gets all like I live in Texas yeah every guy there if I do a little dick humor yeah all of a sudden the riff stops. All of a sudden this is about gays.

And I haven't seen anybody's dick in Texas it's crazy to me. Everybody's dick in Estonia It's crazy to me. Everybody's dick in Estonia. But millions of, in Estonia. Everyone's dick. If you're my friend, I see your dick within a week. We take a sauna at some point. It's like soybeans.

You see a lot of soybeans? I've never seen a soybean. What I'm saying because of the tariffs, right? Okay. Stop, right? America has a lot of soybeans, right? And they're being tariffed, so then, they can't just get it anywhere, so they got it at Brazil.

He swung, he swung. I swung hard. Respect. I swung hard. Respect. Soybean. Like Ohtani. Oh!

Yeah, yeah. He knows baseball now. Yeah, yeah, like Ohtani. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Baseball. Oh, baseball. I'm sorry. Look at her., baseball. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Look at her. Yeah, I know, I'm like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get it. I get it. Yeah, so why do you, okay. It's good water, right? It's crazy water. We stay in Texas, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So what I'm saying is that why do we get up so late? Because we were out there having a cigarette and it was like, this is like early morning. I go, yeah. And so what time do you usually get up in Austin? Whenever I'm late to somewhere. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah.

You can literally tell me 3 p.m., 10 a.m., it's all a horror show. I know. Like George last night, I go, is that one? He goes, yeah man, but I'm only gonna do two tomorrow and then next we have a half. I go, but it's a one.

I can be in my bed from six to 18 hours and not feel a difference. Me too, me too. I'm never rested. That's kind of. Every morning is hell. Every morning I'm at the toilet like this. What do you like to do in bed?

Do you just like to bed rot? I don't even know. Cause I love to bed rot and do nothing. Nothing? Like in the Philippines, there's this word called like ligid ligid and it literally means to just roll and roll and roll. Oh really?

And you do nothing. That's great. And it's such like a part of like, I think it's okay to do. I think everyone in the Philippines have a stutter. Cause we say things too tight. Pog, pog, leeg, leeg. They do, do, do.

They do, do, do. They do, do, do. They do in Estonia too, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do, do, do. Philippines. You like it there? The sticks?

Yes, yes. Arnis, Escrima, Kali. Yeah, yeah, Escrima. Yeah. Yeah, Escrima. Okay. He shits on the Philippines all day. I love, you know what, lady?

What? I love the Philippines so fucking much. You know that, when I'm there. No? Yeah. You've been there? Bunch of times. And I love the place. I'd even move there.

I love it that much. Yeah, I believe you. So what are you talking about? Well, let's just don't give it up to Filipinos as like a pioneer You have to say what you talking about with us. Yeah, you did it wrong. Yeah Think of us as like you don't think of us as a first-world country As a force he doesn't think of us as a first-world force Korean is the top, right?

When you travel when I've traveled around. I thought it was Japan. Ah, no. I was feeling socially yes. No, but coolness factor, Koreans. One last one, baby. What's up? I think Japan still. I think it's still Japan.

But Estonia is like super progressive, very like tech. Yeah, very tech tech tech tech Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not China. Yeah. Well, well we have the most power Unanimous, I know you don't know I'm scared That was out of fear Yeah, I'm sorry you guys have power I would say mainland China is the one that most Asians. Yeah. That's me. Really? Well that's her. Mainland China. I'm mainland China. Mainland China? Yeah. Wow. We went to a Chinese restaurant, like a real one. Jesus Christ. What's a real one? What? What's a real one? Well they're like- Spinning tape. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's taken me to some place. Did you take him? Yeah, I took you in Vancouver.

She takes me to, yeah. No English menu. Are you impressed? What? Are you impressed by her Chinese? ["Tiger Belly Merch"] Shopify is the e-commerce platform. You need to do it with your online business.

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Terms apply, that's money, that's Cash App. ["Cash App Theme Song"] In the newspaper? Yeah, in the, no English menu. Are you impressed? I what? Are you impressed by her Chinese? She takes me to... Are you impressed? Are you impressed by her Chinese? They're a bit scary all of them, you know, you go in, nothing in English, house, house, with the accent and everything, and she's like perfect.

Well, I'm native. I'm like, I spent 10 years there. Alright, so I'm in a restaurant, right? I like the combo number 69. What was that? I'll have the combo with the broccoli and the beef. That's better! That was better by the way. Why is that so good?

I don't know. Is that real? No. Oh. Okay, it's pretty good. I just wanted to deny him. Okay. Yeah.

It's good. So, um. What the fuck? Maybe you and I need to exercise or something. I exercise. Okay, then maybe you and I should, um, sleep. Change our sleep. No, fuck it. Okay. But you do sports I should um, sleep, change our sleep. No, fuck it.

Okay. But you do sports late at night. I do sports late. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you wake up at 7 a.m. and you do sports at 11, no wonder you're tired. Every time I see you at a club, you're literally sleeping. You were so optimistic yesterday, you were like,

let's get lunch at 11 a.m. and then swim in the pool. No, every day, I think the next day is the last one. You're being so optimistic. Yeah, you're like, let's swim in the pool, let's have brunch. And like. Did that happen? No.

Of course not. Never happened. He texted me being like, everything's fucked, I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So mean. But every night before I go to bed, tomorrow, no weed, no nicotine, of swimming laps, Daniel Craig.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Daniel Craig should be number one. And I'll believe, I'll tell you as if this is real for 10 years from now. No, your eyes said to me, like it was real. Yeah. Like I.

Yeah, me and you, never eat chips again. Okay. I. No way, dude I've learned. Yeah, me and you, never eat chips again. Okay. I really. No way, dude. Every day. Every hour. Yeah, yeah. Dude, when you wake up to that pizza box,

you're all, it's a dark. Are you bisexual? No. No. No. What the fuck? Hey, when you come here, do you, like when you go to the hotel,

do you just like get in point? Can you speak up a little? Oh, sorry. You're so close, when you go to the hotel, do you just, like, get in and point them? Can you speak up a little? Oh, my God. You're so close. Hi, me. Hi, me. He's so close to the eye.

I can't whisper it. Not bad, Ari. I mean, I asked a question first. Oh, because we're talking to her, and so. Can you answer the question that I asked first? Okay, go ahead. What did you ask? Are you bisexual?

Are you bisexual? No. What? Yeah, everybody, I know. Everybody. No, no, I was just, it was just a question I have in my head. Are you? I've done gay things. Huh.

Yeah. What do you mean? Thicken ass. What? Thicken ass. Top and bottom. No, thick and mouth. Yeah, thick and mouth.

Ah, that. Yeah. That's all right. I thought you were gonna send me to the Gulag or something. We would, yeah. Well, not for the gay thing, for the other thing. What thing? Asian.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Could I walk around freely in Estonia and no racism? There'll be, define racism. Okay. Good. If they go, **** racists? No.

Yeah. Okay, well then. But they won, **** racist? No. Yeah. Okay, well then. But they won't be mean about it. Really? Yeah, they'll do jokes. I mean a drunk right? Alright, so you-

A drunk Estonian guy will see you. Alright, so I'm walking down the street. You're gonna get something. I'm walking down the street. You'll get something. You're leaning against a wall. Right? And it looks like I walk by.

What would you say racist? Well, you would hear that. Oh, I hear that that oh yeah that you would hear that in Estonia you would see some eye movements We would you know oh Like you're squinting out. It's never like hateful. See that's the thing. I think it's hateful. Didn't you guys just get a Boba place yes, what yeah went under Andrea. It went under they didn't get it because I love Boba I took him to Boba in Vancouver a lot yeah and he loved it and then they opened up a shop in Estonia and he sent me photos of it Estonians would like choke on their pearls really they would be like why I

don't know what yeah so it's a food is it food good like your native food I love it but it's like potato, potato, potato, potato, potato. Like Bulgari, not Bulgari, I was in Budapest. Yeah, you were in Hungary. Hungary, yeah. Do you guys drink goat milk? The name of the Estonian just sounds like goat milk. Is that true? No. Regular milk.

Let me... What? Cross it off on your notepad. You got to cross it off. Oh, it's because I met him already. Yeah, I know. I don't want you to see them. Oh, there's notes there. There's one word. I love Ari.

Because we met him like, I met you like, what, four times? And every time he comes up to me, when he sees me, he's like, you eat pussy yet? Cause he, you know, he has a severe issue. I know he has. A severe problem. Yeah, you don't like it.

What, pussy? Yeah, no eating it. And you have a girlfriend, right? I have, no. Jaime didn't know this about you. Oh, you had last time. Yeah, go ahead. I did last time.

Wait, hey, Jaime. I took your advice. Jaime, she's a co-host. I know my band. Right? If I'm the captain, she's the seed lady. Thank you. And we're the seed men.

Yeah. You don't eat pussy? It's crazy. No, it's crazy. Why? Like, tell me, walk me through the bottle. He thinks it's sashimi. He hates sushi.

Tell me. I don't know, I just never had it. I had pussy, like, you know, dick to pussy. What do you think she means when she says that? When I say, when I'm asking you, do you not regularly, if you're with a woman, do you eat her pussy? Do you go down on her or not? With your mouth.

No. And why not? This never came up. Ari, why do you think? I would rather eat pussy than fuck? Yeah, I've got me too. I've literally eaten chicks pussies jacked off and went home. Yeah Yeah, I love music to my there's also no pressure To be harder, okay You you're you're actually okay. You're making out needs work, but I think no, you know, no stop stop

I hear you're better now. From who? The grapevine. From girls, girlfriends I've met. On Reddit. On Raya. Okay, can I say something, okay? Number one, I don't like your style either, lady.

What do you mean, slow and passionate and sensual? Wow. Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't like that at all, dude. How do you like it? Yeah. You like it like that?

Yeah, like that is exactly it. No, because, okay. Do you close your eyes? Yeah, yeah. They're always closed. Yeah, I bet he doesn't. Oh, you have to close your eyes? Oh, fuck. I peed right he's close. But no, I'm. Oh yeah, I bet he doesn't. Oh, you have to close your eyes? Oh, fuck.

I peer right into the soul. Jesus Christ, I look at another person. Then when we look back at him. I look at another guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. All right, anyway.

I've gotten better. Yeah, that's what I hear. At kissing? What? At kissing? At kissing, yeah. And you said I was okay going down. No, you're good. You're good.

God, man. I thought I was pretty good. I just don't want to talk about that. All right, let's move on. Anyway, let's move on. Okay, so I'm so sorry. Hey, man, I'm kind of disappointed. What?

Because you watch a lot of horror. Last time you said that you find it's gross and it's disgusting. I didn't tell you that. And she said he doesn't want to be beneath a woman. That's what you said that you find it's gross and it's disgusting and I didn't tell you that He doesn't want to be beneath a woman, yeah, that's what you said no I didn't say that okay I'm single now. So wow. Yeah. Wow, by the way, I I feel like if that was a thing for you When guys do that is disgusting. Yeah, just relax. What? You told me last time this I've never shown you this, dude.

Oh my God, I think he did. I think he did, that's something that you would do. Like this? Yeah, hey man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you know what this is? Do you know what it's called? I hate it, I hate the name, I hate the expression.

What's it called? It's so disgusting. Shocker? Shocker? Yeah, yeah. And what do you do with the fingers here? The pinky and the stinky and then. Also don't call it stinky. What's it called? So disgusting. Shocker? Shocker? Yeah, yeah. And what do you do with the fingers here? The pinky and the stinky and then...

Also, don't call it stinky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a woman's butthole. Delicious. Yours is stinky. Yours is stinky and stinky. Yeah. Disgusting and gross.

Impression. What? Nothing. Go ahead. Have you ever eaten an asshole either? No, I haven't. Sh ahead. Have you ever either asshole either? No, I haven't. Shove a tongue up or no. There's no way.

You have to see him in a restaurant. Whenever we go to a restaurant, he stares at the plate for like at least five minutes going, I don't think I can eat this. Why? Wait. What have I done then? Wait, I have a-

He definitely eats it. I kind of understand you a little bit now. Huh? But you're not on the spectrum, are you? He is! We took a task! He's at the restaurant! He's beyond Love on the Spectrum! He's beyond it! No, that makes sense! Even Love on the Spectrum was like, hold on, there's another show. You have a lot of particularities about food then.

Would it make sense if, like, why a pussy wouldn't be your first, you know Because the thought never came up like I don't think it's that that's a crazy feels gross to you Huh? It probably feels gross to you and that's okay if you don't like it. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's a spectrum thing I think yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I took a test but We told Bobby take the test, but he doesn't want to so oh He doesn't need to take the test. I know Yeah, I'm young test but we told Bobby take the test but he doesn't want to so oh he doesn't need to take the test I know I'm gonna take the test Okay yeah yeah

The other day I went I remember I was outside by myself at 3 in the morning in the backyard and I was doing something and in my mind I stopped and I go what the fuck are you doing? I was going, beep beep beep beep beep beep. By myself in the back of the room. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? And then I went, what the fuck are you doing? You're just being a creative person.

I was just expressing something, but I was like so full of joy. But you do that in front of people, not alone. I don't think you do that in front of people. You shouldn't. Yeah. Oh, I shouldn't? Yeah.

I can't walk into a strap? No, you gotta do that in your backyard alone at three in the morning. But do you guys ever do that where you do something and you go, what the fuck are you doing? Every day. Yeah, every day, right? Every day is hard.

Yeah, yeah. Give me an example, Ari. Like being alone. No. And doing something weird. Of something weird that you would do and go, what are you doing? Well, I'll do stuff like that too,

where I'm like in my own, but you do that sober, huh? Because I'm high. Oh, yeah, yeah, I do it sober. But that's good. Yeah. If you have a childish brain, you have to use that.

Yeah, I'm very childlike in many ways. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah. ADHD, I don't give a fuck. I have a creative brain. Yeah, but you have all those things. What do you mean? ADHD, all that? ADHD, yeah, yeah. I guess, I don't know yeah, ADHD. I don't go fuck. I have a creative brain. Yeah, but you have all those things

What do you mean? I did you know that yeah? I guess I don't give a fuck making money for me so far would have to get if you and I went to Estonia Estonia would would you think I could get any a date there or no? Oh, yeah, of course also What's crazy? I mean you also talk like you're from a movie, dude, because you talk American. When Australian chicks hear that accent, you're literally from a fucking movie. Make my day, lady. Something like that?

Yeah, don't do that. Okay. All right, sorry. Do they call guys from America the same thing? We call them in Asia the losers back home. Like the passport bros. Really? Like we call them LBHs.

Like for instance, if they come to the Philippines, uh-huh That's and they're looking for a wife. It's usually because they cannot meet a wife in America So I understand. Yeah, they're called like LBH's losers back home Yeah, we don't I'm not gonna go now. That is that is awesome that There's a lot of American men in the past ten years that have come to Estonia with that Like motivation and the girls are just now catching on That it's a scam. How's the scam? Well, you're just an American fucking autistic introvert loser slash rapist, right? There's some fucking like if you're an American like pervert business man, just a disgusting dude

All your women back home hate you because they know your ass. You don't have this image of an American personality. Whereas an Estonian girl, you know, because it seems so exotic and also I don't really know. You know, it's like if you meet somebody from, are you from San Diego? Yeah. And if you meet somebody from San Diego, you kind of tell when they're full of shit, right?

Because you know exactly what part of San Diego they're from. You know what is like, you know, um, you'll meet somebody on the road. Yeah, I'm a dude I'm fucking Californian. Mm-hmm. I go where Victorville. Uh-huh Yeah, like when I talk it's like a escape room There was a guy I used to be a door guy at a nightclub There was an American guy and this to be a door guy at a nightclub, there was an American guy, and this was like maybe 12 years ago, I think, something like that. So just when the first Americans started figuring out that there are all these hot Eastern European women.

You know, the reason why a lot of American dudes also always go to like Thailand, Philippines, or now Eastern Europe, or get a Ukrainian wife the wife, they want a wife that's the kind of woman that they grew up with. You know, because like, like just these old school women or what they imagine. What they think. Yeah, it's like a fetishization of thinking that it's a subservient traditional woman. And it's like those actually don't exist back home. Exactly. It's like when white American girls take a trip to France to France the front I can't I was in I was in Thailand one time yeah and I was by the pool and you know you see was that your whole thought no it. It's because you ever seen the movie Taken?

Can you let him finish his thought? Yes, of course. Because it's made me so mad. I need the full explanation. No, so start from the beginning. Start from the top. Start from the top. You ever seen the movie Taken?

No, that's how you started. You said it's like something from France. White American girls. And the way you said Paris was annoying. Okay, so when white American girls, they go to Paris, and they take a trip and they see a French guy, and they're like, oh yeah, I'll give you my trust, but they get kidnapped.

Just like the movie Taken. And? That's what it is. They don't have it. That's the movie. Their image is like, okay, I want this guy. It's just like when you're in Tatooine, right? And you're at a bar and your arm gets chopped off.

Yeah. It's just a movie. It's just a movie. I think I was wrong on that. You made a mistake. Another escape room. But yeah, your point's proven. What?

Dude, you're sharp, dude. He's so sharp, dude. Oh my God. Okay. Your point's proven. What? Dude, you're sharp, dude. He's so sharp, dude. Oh my God. So, um... So you go to Thailand. Oh, yeah. I remember there was this moment when I was by the pool and you see this, uh,

you see two beautiful kids and a woman that's an angel, you know, and then you see the husband about five minutes later. Yeah. Slub of shit. You know, five minutes later, slob of shit. You know, it's always a slob with a Speedo, old. In Estonia? No, no, no, this is in Thailand. Oh, in Thailand. American dude, Speedos, they're crazy gut.

You know where the gut meets the legs, the Speedos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like your Instagram model where you hide the pussy. Just a tiny gap of Speedos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Booo! Disgusting. The feet? Works. He hasn't seen his feet inos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Disgusting. The feet. Works.

He hasn't seen his feet in years. Yeah, yeah. Baby, can I get a beer? Yeah, yeah. One of these guys. Blah. Yeah. Human diarrhea.

Yeah. And the wife, the most beautiful tie. I know. The kid's beautiful too, but let's say her genetics did the heavy lifting. And thank God for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the slobber.

Yeah. You know, the slobber shit. Because also their money from America goes a long way there too. Not even long. I mean, it's literally, it's not even long. It goes, I mean, and she should get that money. Maybe she should.

If she can suck that dick, she gotta. And it and she looks happy and they have kids but the conversation, you know, it's they're like third grade English, you know You know Do the conversation for me. I'm not fully there yet. Yes All right My son, mister. Oh, right. Okay, get on, probably I'll play that right now. Where am I, in Bangkok? Oh, man.

Hello, mister. Oh my gosh. But it's like really crazy. You're like Elmo. But then later, I saw her alone. The hug went away. The kids go away and she's alone by the pool. And then she had that moment, she was smoking a cigarette and looked like watched her own reflection boom

from the pool. And then for a second, cause otherwise they were happy new new, everyone was giggling. But then you saw that moment where she's like, you know, she's, she knows exactly what the fuck she's doing. And kind of that sadness kind of. But then you go back and you get that,

I hope you get that money Yeah, cuz I mean like if you if you think about it, it's almost like a You do it out of like pure necessity, right? Because it's like a third world country like at least in the Philippines It's like you're you're living in abject poverty for sure. Okay, if that was a hot chick. Yeah. Oh my god This shit I would do I just like fucking Zuckerberg I would do? I'd just like fucking Zuckerberg and Basil. I mean, oh my God. Would you really whore yourself out?

I would whore to the top. Trump. Really? You're just on my belly, I don't care. I think I would. If I was super hot. But you don't need to do that anymore. You can just put finger yourself on a fucking app. But I think you could get more money by doing that.

Generational wealth. Yeah, generational wealth, yeah. Marrying into the family, you mean? Yeah, I'm like a Rockefeller now. Yeah, like a family. Hi, I'm Angie Rockefeller. Whatever they're, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wanna talk about...

Sinners? No, not sinners. Your rise. I wanna talk about your rise. Well, thanks. No, I didn't say you're at the top. I'm not. But you're a shooting star.

And what I'm just gonna say, you are. I think out of the Kill Tony people, only three people come to mind. I don't want to name the three. You're one of the three. What? Well, Cam, I think Cam has it. I mean, Cam, he's just, he's a star.

100%, yeah. You can see that. He's like three years into it. Yeah. You know that, right? Yeah. Yeah, he was like two years into it when he started selling out 10 shows or something.

What was that? Crazy. I think William's very funny. Oh my, he's half the show. If you watch a Killzone episode, he's like half the show. There's a couple other guys, but you also, you're one of those guys that shine like them and What are you laughing? No? He's laughing at me. Why cuz we said Cam. He's a star

What right it's my ear sometimes you're observant and sometimes you're dead on in this particular case You're dead on No, it's my show. Okay. Sorry. Okay. I'm sorry this later this lady is Free solo this you know A climber! Free solo this bitch. Free solo. No rope, it's just a fuck. This lady right here dude is one of those.

And you, dead on. No no. He won't respect you unless you are. Like he only loves people through our climbers. That's not true! You love rats. I also love giraffes. In your face bitch.

Who's a giraffe? No, but I laugh... Kirk Fox. No, I laughed when Ari said, you know, he's only like two years into comedy, right? And I was like, haha. No, it's what happened last night. Last night... Something happened. I'm going to tell you what happened. I was in, ha ha. No, it's what happened last night. Last night. Something happened. I'm gonna tell you what happened.

I was in the green room. I did my new joke night in the belly room. And just a bunch of comics in the green room and I mentioned, okay, yeah, I helped, I can't say his name. I helped so and so become a paid regular. I campaigned for him. Campioned him. What? He campaigned for him. Campion him.

What? He championed him. He championed him. That's what I meant. Yeah. I championed, this is so early then. Yeah, I championed for him. And another white comic was like,

I go what? He goes, we have enough white dudes here. You know what I mean? And I go, what's your problem? He goes, well, I'm just saying like, I want to be just, you know, I want to keep the white dudes that we have because the more white dudes, the less spots I get.

You know what I mean? But it's like, it's that kind of thing where it's like, people don't want to share. What, it's, why, what do you mean? I know where that was going. What about me? What I'm just saying is, it's like- Wait, this is great news.

If the white dudes are having like scarcity mentality, wait, then we... They are. That's kind of amazing. I've been to the meetings. They are. Really? White guys are... How high are you in the white, you know what I mean?

I don't get the ultimate pass because I'm white other. European. Well, you're kind of foreign. Like you're... Every American lineup has four white guys, three black guys, two women, and one fucked up thing. I'm usually the fucked up. Oh, right, right, right.

That's my spot. Yeah. If I see another... You're other, you're other. If I go to a green room, I see another Estonian, it's gonna be a problem. Oh yeah, death. It's gonna be a problem.

Death! You should see me walk by like the OR and see Jimmy another Estonian, there's gonna be a problem. There's gonna be a problem. Death! You should see me walk by the OR and see Jimmy O-eng up there. I'm like... That's my favorite bit to do. If Hans Kim is in the green room at Vulcan, there's another Asian guy killing it. I always go up to him like,

what do you think? What's he like? Hans Kim? He's, what did you say about him, autistic? Yeah. Him and Hans Kim would have a great podcast. I really do like him, but I don't know him at all. Yeah, me neither, bro. I don't think anybody knows him. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry about that attack. That

was rude. No. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, about just I... Yeah, I think the climbing part is true, but it's like, you know what I mean? I think my analogy or whatever was going on, I'm like a little off, so it's like, yeah, but I apologize for that. No, you don't have... You've never apologized. This is weird. You've said worse things. I know I have. We shall not repeat them. No, I won't. But I know it's from love. It's out of love. But there is a part of you... I think we all have it. Do you have it?

It's just ambition. It's ambition. You need it, it's a necessity. You wouldn't get to where you are if you didn't have that. Yeah, are you ambitious? Yeah, I think you are. It depends on what time you ask me.

No, but he is like that. Yeah, I'm mentally disabled. No, you're not. I am. No, you're a lot like me, I think. What? I think you're a lot like me. I think we share a lot of familiarity. I agree.

I think I'm not even considered a Korean comic. I'm more other. You are, yeah. What do you mean? Yeah, you're definitely not a Korean. I've never heard you. Both of you, you're very wacky. Wacky doodoo. You're a wacky guy too, huh? Me too, man. Me too. Hey, sorry for saying something. Why everyone's apologizing to me. That's so interesting. There's a lot of people. This is by the way the most people

I've ever had in one podcast room. Really? Yeah, I've never met so many people at once. I think Jaime. Every time I look over there, there's a new guy. By the way, I didn't know there was a guy back there. Seriously, never seen him in my life. This is an old ship that's still running.

100%. Yeah, yeah's still running. 100%. Yeah, yeah. Still running. 10 years, over 10 years, and we just consistently do it every week. Yeah, it's awesome. And welcome to the ship, brother. How'd you get that scar? This is a dog.

See this scar right here? Yeah. This is a dog going like this. No way. Yeah. What kind of... Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me, eight years old, the dog is sleeping. You know when a dog is sleeping? You know when you see the belly go up and down? That's called breathing. It's like the coziest spot to lay your cute little kid head, little white Estonian kid head, little very white. What kind of dog was that? My stepdad got us a fucking wolf, that's the issue.

Wow! Yeah, I wanted a dog and my stepdad was an alcoholic lunatic. He just got us a fucking baby wolf that grew up to be a big wolf. And their bellies going up and down and they go up like this, you know? Okay. And the dog wakes up. No, really? Everything, yeah.

And it goes through and it. Oh my God. And it rips. Yeah, yeah. Ambulance. What's the lesson? What's the lesson? Dogs hate me, that's the lesson.

Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Yeah. Exactly. Who's your friend Vladimir? Vladimir Putin? No. Your friend right here. Oh, you saw it?

Yeah. That was mean. What what's that it's a visit there that was so mean he likes to do that it's usually he's usually that out that was so rude I'm Raul so yeah yeah yeah it's Vladimir I didn't know you're gonna get so conscious about that. Well yeah, you attacked me. You attacked me. Yeah, that's part of the dog thing or whatever. Well you are.

You mean me? You have a big one right here. Yeah, no shame. Yeah, you have a couple too. Yeah, but I mean. Yeah, I know. A couple friends too. Yeah.

Yeah. So let's walk you through. You did Kill Tony one night. In LA or Austin? It was in Austin. And I mean, I lived in Vancouver, Canada for all. That's where we met. Yeah.

It was when I was starting and then you were... Be honest with me. Five years in maybe. Yeah. No, you be honest with me. Was she nice? Nice? Yeah. Yeah, she was very nice. Be honest with me. Five years in maybe. Yeah. No, you be honest with me. Was she nice? Nice? Yeah, yeah, she was very nice.

I was the nicest. Well, not the nicest. Oh, oh. Nice? That's a claim to a crazy fighter. Wait, not the nicest? The nicest? Yeah, okay, in Vancouver, so from like.

Top 15. From one to 10, how nice was she? From the 12 people I knew, you're top 15. Yeah, yeah. No, you were nice. No, I think that she's like a pirate. What I like about her is that you can talk shit about other comedians with her.

I do like that. And then when you do that, oh, so when you do that, she tells the world. No, I didn't tell the world. She tells the world? I'm gonna tell you what it is. Oh, God. I'm not gonna tell you what it is,

but you said something the other day. I know, I'm not gonna say it. She tells the world. I'm gonna tell you what it is. Oh God. I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but you said something the other day. I know, I'm not gonna say it. Okay. Anything about it, right? All right. It was such hot gossip, right? Jesus. Yeah, like something that's like, what the fuck?

You know what I mean? Well, I thought you weren't gonna tell anyone, then you're telling everybody. Wait, can I tell you like a real observation as someone who's been in green rooms for 10 years, but not as a comic. I think that's 90% of the conversation in all green rooms is you guys talking shit about other comics.

Exactly. Right? Yeah. No, not me. Like everyone. No. And also, I hope people talk shit about me too, by the way. I know sometimes people get offended at that.

Dude, I wanna talk shit and talk shit about me, let it loose. I wanna walk into the green room and then people not know I'm there and talk shit about me. Oh my, that's a dreeve of mine. I love when I go into a green room and it gets real quiet. Like the riffs for hot you heard. Big pops. Then you walk in, it's weird.

Yeah, because I do have this because you're from Estonia. Maybe you're like Koreans. Do you hold onto resentments or no? I have a list. In my head, there's like. Yeah? How many people? 400.

Yeah, yeah, no, I have a lot. No, I don't, it's not resentment to act on it. That's what I'm saying, I would never act on it. But I'm human. We have our thoughts. Exactly. And. That's what I'm saying, I would never act on it. But I'm human, we have our thoughts. Exactly. And I don't like people who say, Namaste, I have nothing to regret.

I don't know why they do that. I love that. Nothing to regret. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hate those people. Because that's to me a lie. I want you, like if I meet you, you know when like you're hanging out with another comedian and he says the N-word around you for the first time?

I like that. That's a little trust that I'm in the circle. Here we go. Let's talk about this real quick, okay? I'm not, I'm not with that, what you guys are doing in Austin. What do you mean? Well, let's be real.

I don't like some of the words you guys use freely. Uh-huh, uh-huh, like what? The N word. You know, it's like edge lord shit. Some of the words you guys use freely. Uh-huh, uh-huh, like what? The N-word. I mean, it's like edgelord shit, it's like... Not all of it. I know, but it's becoming so hacky to me that people, you guys use these words just for the shock factor.

100%. I'm not into it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree with that. I think the R-word, sometimes. In I mean? Yeah, I agree with that. I think the R word, sometimes, in a joke maybe, right? Yeah, sorry, my face is just crooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would never say the N word in any environment. Except when I'm alone.

Yeah. My back is going, yee-hee. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm kidding. I would never do that, there's another one the f-word I don't really use ever you know I mean and I see Austin comic use it regularly it's in the contract in the contract yeah yeah if you want to play in Austin it's in the contract yeah yeah yeah so um I know this is my little tidbit you know I've talked about it with other people and I know I get it like me when

we came up in Vancouver everybody said how liberal that is and I... No, I get it. Like me and Andrew, when we came up in Vancouver, everybody said how liberal that is. And I used all the words. You used every word. Yeah, you used every word. And the first guy. I like, and I... He was talking about women.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone. Anyone. Yeah. Anyone. And in Vancouver and Seattle, I went to Seattle to do comedy too. Everybody said how liberal it is.

But having a line makes it more fun to dance around it. I see, I see. So, and I don't believe, I totally agree that there's for sure a lot of comedians who just, I guess the line from city to city is a bit farther in other places, so, you know. Here's your saving grace. You're a great joke writer.

You really are. You're a really funny guy. And so it's like, I never thought that about you, but I've seen other people. I was like, dude, you don't have anything. That's what you're doing. You know, it just drives me crazy. But anyway, so you did kill Tony and did Tony know who you were before you did it? Yeah, I landed in Austin.

I went to audition through Sam Talent. I got to audition for Adam Eaglet, you know? Like just in the... I love Sam Talent. And yeah, he's my guy. He went to Estonia to do some shows. You know, we're writing a book together. Really?

His last book was incredible. Yeah, you said great writer. Anyway, so Sam called Adam Egan. Yeah. And then you just showcased for Adam. I showcased for Adam. It went well. That as I'm showcasing,

Kill Tony's starting in the big room. And then I think Sam was doing panel, and Sam and Adam were both so nice that they brought it up to, was that you? No, that wasn't me. I went to shock. And they were so nice that they just told Tony, oh this is a great visiting guy and I wasn't even pulled from the bucket. I did sign up but I wasn't pulled. I just went up and then I stuck around the mothership.

You must have crushed. So it was fine. It's one minute, it's hard. Very hard and also not my style. I've literally, it is crazy that after doing comedy for so long you have to go back to basic joke writing to fit into that one minute. But I would say I wasn't a big,

of course I knew Kilter and I'm a comedian, I've seen clips and shit. My basic observation in my mind was that, yeah you can have a great joke, but it's more important to show your personality. So I just didn't overthink the joke. I opened with however I usually open. I just showed my personality.

I threw a kick in there. Yeah. I did like great. Yeah, yeah. You love a kick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're so funny yeah yeah I understand how legs work and then I think it went well enough that yeah Tony like askew we're actually looking for new regulars are you interested and then the first

time he even tells a funny story how I because he said you know he came up you know Tony looks insane too like with the cowboy hat yellow tinted glasses cowboy boots and every time he talks to me I'm already laughing because he's such a character especially when you meet him yeah then you get comfortable you know but he's such a character the first time you meet him now where you at right now how do you feel like you feel grateful Yeah, 100%. And there's plenty of progress to do. I mean, just let me. Yeah.

Yeah. Just for a second. One. Because we're jumping ahead. Oh, OK. I love you so much and thanks for being here. OK. I love Arty, too.

I do, too. I love you guys. So you kept doing it, did you feel, when did you feel when, oh shit, people are, like I'm recognizable and people are like me. Fuck, I don't. Was it gradual? Very gradual, yeah. Okay, can I read that please?

He's embarrassed now. Yeah, can I read that? No, no. It's my private. It's his journal, it, yeah. No. Yeah, give it to me. It's my private. It's his journal. It's private. No.

Irish Reddit. Thanks a lot. Bobby, on mic, on mic, please. What did he say? No, no, no. You can't read my handwriting. Here, here, here. It's legible.

He can read it. What? On mic, Bobby. OK. Don't read it. No, I don't know. I can't even. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. It says beans or something. No, that's literally all it says. I've't know. I can't even. I don't know what it is. This is beans or something. No, it doesn't. Literally all it says. I'm going to turn this stove off. Sorry. Go ahead. Wait, can I ask Ari?

You didn't think I was nice? Oh my God. Nicest is a big... Okay, but we had... We had going on. 100%, yeah. Of course. You were part of the crew.

It was like me and four other people maybe. Okay, well sometimes we would go. And be alone. We would have our time together. Yeah, we would, yeah. Why are you so sensitive about this shit? And every time we were in a car, you would almost fucking crash it.

Yeah. You know what you are. What am I? I'll give you an example. I'm climbing? No, it's not even that. It's like the day before we did the fucking resonance sounds fair. What am I? I'll give you an example. I'm climbing? No, it's not even that. It's like the day before we did the fucking Renaissance Fair.

What? The Renaissance Fair. I didn't hear that. I just didn't hear that. Okay. Did you guys hear it? Renaissance Fair? No, you just added like three syllables to it in the initial first pass.

When I went to the Renaissance Fair, the night before I was with Jean, dumbfounded, and you, and we were like, we have to be at the house at 10 a.m. Right? And she goes, well, I'm gonna be there at 10 a.m. No, we're saying it to you, Andrea. Right? So get here at 9.45.

Right? No problem, no problem. Everyone's here. It's 10. Nowhere to be seen. Can I say? No, you can't say. And you were up at 7 in the morning. You had 3 hours. So my point is this, right? That's who you are. No, no. Can I say one thing? Sometimes I get ready and then at the last second I have to

poop. No. You were fucking. No, I wasn't. You were fucking? You were fucking? The person next to me was asleep. I didn you were fucking. No I wasn't. You were fucking? The person next to me was asleep, I didn't wake him up, I left without waking him up. Anyway, welcome to the show.

Well thank you. Okay so let's go, what are you doing? Scratching, don't you hear? Scratching. Scratching his ear. Do your ears sometimes get scratchy? So then when, people started recognizing you and then when did, yeah.

When did you actually feel like, oh my God, this could be something, like I'm on the rise or whatever. I don't know. Oh, selling out shows with my name, I guess? That's a weird moment. Because I'm still part of a show. I'm still integrated into a show.

It's not like I have an individual ticket selling base before, but I mean, still, even the individual tickets that I'm selling are in that universe. Yeah. Did you do a Theo's movie? No, never been invited, never been asked. Oh, how? Everybody looks at me as competition.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would use it. I already hate everything I do. That's not true. That's not true. That's your inner thoughts that are negative and not real. People love you. People love you. People love you, man.

I was so proud. I was so proud of you when I saw you popping up. But I guess what we have is nothing to you. What I'm saying is, we don't have everyone on this podcast. You know what I mean? Of course. Oh, you okay? Ozempik, Ozempik.

We go V. You have Ozempik? We go V. We go V, yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is that, your name just keeps coming up. Oh, that's awesome. And I can see, just in terms of what shows up my TikTok and stuff.

Are you okay? I'm fine. Yeah. I thought I was gonna vomit for a second. What dose are you on now? Just the same. But you know, I've been only eating like one meal a day. Okay. And... Will you be eating? Will you be eating?

Will you be eating though? Will you be eating? I'm just curious. Sorry. He's curious. I didn't know what you were saying. What do you have consuming? Got worse. How did it get worse? What do you eat? What do you eat for food? That one meal a day? Well yesterday I went to Katana, that was my first meal and it was at 10 at night.

That was your first meal. But what time did you wake up? 7pm. No, no, no. I got up at like 1 or 2. Yeah, that's fine. But anyway, it's not about me and my burps, okay? So what do you wanna do now?

Fucking more stand up. I wanna create a good hour, make a good special, something like that. Always, I wanna get what everybody else has, you know, past at like the comedy store, do shows there. Good, be a part of good life. Dude, yesterday I was watching Rick Ingram. Oh my God. I was having a panic attack in the back. He do shows there. Good life, good life. Dude, yesterday I was watching Rick Ingram. Oh my God.

I was having a panic attack in the back. He's a beast. Just because he was, you know when you have a panic attack for another comedian? Yeah, yeah. If I was next, I would. Oh, I, I, I, I. I watch him, I literally go after 20 minutes,

I go, I don't think I got it. No. I call the talent creator, I go don't ever, there's two guys. One of them is Rick Ingram, and the second one is Tim Dillon. Oh, that's hard to. Yeah, yeah, I refuse to follow them.

Jesus Christ. Because it's not that I bomb, but it's like, that's me drowning, sorry. Whatever. I have to be at top condition. I have to be on point. You know what I mean? And you can lose them really quickly.

Yeah, so those are the two. Yeah, so Rick also says to me the other day, he goes, hey man, I don't wanna ask, but I've never had a manager or an agent. Crazy. Right, and it blew my mind. I'm like, what? Because yeah, I mean, I can't, you know what I mean?

It's like, it's so heartbreaking. Yeah. Yeah. A guy that funny that can't get rap. Like he opens up for Chris Rock all over the world. Yeah, I saw that. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's fucking so sad to me. Anyway, so let me ask you this.

How many Kill Tony people have been passed at the store? I don't think any, right? Oh. Tony Hinchcliffe, that's it. I think so. Red band. Is it Red Band? No, Red Band's not passed.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're like, yeah. You mean for the sound? And it's not even. I usually be so mad at that, but I keep it in. And it's not like, it's not. Redback is sweet.

He's a sweet guy. I love him. Redback, you know it's a joke. It's a comedy. One of the nicest people I've ever met. He's the sweetest. In Austin, he was the first, one of the at least big guys that was super nice to me. He's a sweetest. In Austin, he was like the first, one of the at least big guys that was super nice to me. He's a big guy?

Like recognizable. I mean, he's a figure. He started the most, he started three of the biggest podcasts in the world. Gotta give him the black. I'll tell you why I have a problem with him. With Red Band? Yeah, he already knows this.

Jesus Christ. So years ago. Jesus. Yeah, I've never talked about this, I don't think. Okay. So years ago, I had a thing that went kind of like, at the time, viral, which is me defending Carlos Menzio. Yeah. Remember that at the store?

And when I said, I didn't see Red Band there filming, and I looked at it and I go, afterwards, I'm like, you can't fucking put that out. He goes, no problem, he put it out. Right? And it got me in a lot of fucking trouble. It got me in a lot of fucking trouble. So there's always a little thing like that.

He was the biggest guy that you had met at the time. Yeah, he was super nice to me. Matt Edgar, amazing guy. I love him. Love him. Sweetest guy ever. So then, when did you meet? When did you meet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love him. Love him. Sweetest guy ever. You know. So then when did you meet? That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. When did you meet Rogan? Crazy taking care of nails. When did you meet Rogan? I did the... It's so fun. It's like meeting the pope when you come to the club one. It's like two weeks in I've been maybe integrated a little bit, door guy say hi to me, the security doesn't take me all the way.

He's not like the Pope. You know why? He would have died because JD Vance met him. That joke is not. Are you your boyfriend? Killer. Shohei Otani. He's just.

He's JD's. Are you, wait hold on. I know you were waiting for the flop again. Grand slam, baby, show hay. Oh, baby. This is what I miss about you. Mean. Mean.

You know what, I think one of the things that really, you were hot, but. But what I was. Ari, I'm not anymore, I have a face paralysis. Yeah, you can't notice. That's why you were hot. I remember when you were living in Long Beach. I used to be hot, oh my God, I was so hot. You were so hot.

Yeah. When I saw you naked, I cried, and looked up at God and I go, thank you. I was really hot. Yeah, yeah. You're hot now, but I remember we were in bed together and you remember, what? I think Gilbert hates this stuff.

I don't hate it. No, and you made me laugh so hard. I don't know what the joke was, but you made me laugh so fucking hard. And in my mind I'm like, oh, she's hot and funny. No, it's not funny. You like mean people. And I said something really, really mean. Yeah, you said something mean. And you thought it was the funniest thing ever. It made me really funny. You like mean people. And I said, you're really, really mean.

Yeah, you said something mean. And you thought it was the funniest thing ever. It made me really laugh. I like mean people too. Yeah. No, I want their heart to be empathetic. 100%. And all that stuff.

But just let me know the toxic side of you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I love that. I think that's true. I think that's true. So I don't know why, I was saying something else

and then, oh, Rogan. Yeah, so, and the JD Vance show. something else and then oh Rogan. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so and the JD Vance show Okay, we haven't chosen Yeah, I'm pulling for how do they chose chose I think it's all like the Cardinals and everyone gets together Who has fucked the least 17 yeah, and then I think what the Philippines, you know, we might I want it The better files get together. Who has fucked the least amount of truth? 17. Yeah, yeah. And then I think, but the Philippines, you know,

we might be. I think he's gonna be the guy. The Filipino guy? The Filipino guy? Yeah. I want him. We need a layup, we need one. I don't think so.

Really? They're gonna give it to that town. There's gonna be a lot of karaoke. Who's that one? There's enough Italian popes, give one to the Philippines. I think that would be a great move, and also a good sign toward the world. Catholicism has wrecked our country,

but yes, we do need one. How about a black boat, huh? There's a black guy in the running. Really? Where's he from? Yeah, where's he from? When I say black guy in the running, you know what I mean?

I know they run fast, but that's not what I meant. No one thought that until we said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weird, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Otani! I'm struck out! I'm struck out!

Okay. I'm not going to do any more jokes. I think that's my plan from now on. I can't do a fourth. So, um... Rogan. Is that what you're talking about? Rogan.

When did you meet him? Maybe like two weeks when I was in there and of course I did one of those classic things. You know when you do, like you're at a new club, you're doing your best stuff, you know, and then some point the comedians start leaving the room because they've seen that set. Oh God.

Oh, I hate that. Yeah, and then you know the classic thing when you start going like, maybe I do got it like that. And you're like, second show, I'll do all new. That's of course the show he came to see, full bomb, of course full bomb, full bomb. Oh my God.

But he's still a professional comedian that I think sees like, oh, he's just fucking, he's just a guy who's bombing. And then after we talk, we got along. And then maybe a month later, I got to open for his Netflix thing. That was awesome, awesome experience, you know? Just to do a big venue like that.

And he's always been super supportive. And also, like, if you do open for him, the bag is crazy, you know? He might hate that I said that. No, he is super generous. Super generous. I mean, I've been to concerts with him and then also That's cool that he owns a club like that because you know, it's there's none of that pressure

To you know every club I've been past that so far I get past as soon as it's shutting down every club I've been past that I don't got past the Carolines and then I was like, holy shit I'm on I'm Jerry Seinfeld Wow Six months later, as I'm boarding the flight from Estonia to New York, vulture.com, legendary club, Caroline's, close after 47. Yuck Yucks, Yuck Yucks Vancouver. Oh yeah, Yuck Yucks is. I love that.

I get on the roster, the month I get on the roster, big article, LOL goes under, JFL goes under, Yuck Yucks part of a package. Were you roasting the club? What are you talking about? No, I'm saying it's touchdown. Roster, he's part of the roster. Oh, roster.

Like being an improv comic. Like paid regular. What did happen to Yuck Yucks? All over. They just went under. Yeah, I mean it's like. Business was bad for Yuck Yucks, I Yakyaks. Well, they're... What I'm going to say is that they didn't treat their comics well.

Oh, you think? Dude, they paid us like nothing. Me and Andrew did a Valentine's Day show, 250 people. I do like 40 minutes at the show. It's a $50 check. The ticket is 35. And I was on stage saying, I'm 1. The ticket is 35. Yeah. I was on stage saying I'm 1.4 tickets Breakfast was $47. Yeah, I don't make breakfast. It's yeah, it was so bad Like I couldn't believe how bad it was

Yeah, you could already feel it in the in the air that like a lot of those clubs Just like the improvs a lot of the chains the house of comedies are clubs just like the improvs a lot of the chains the house of comedies are so I love Edmonton oh that's that's good because of the city yeah it's a but I like that club is there's a spaghetti factory there and then the hotel room is weird and that late at night at three in the morning you can hear the seals the dolphins dolphins yeah yeah the dolphins do they have penguins there too? They had seals too, they had everything. That's sad. It's in a mall.

In the middle of the mall is an aquarium. Oh, right. West End Hampton Mall, yeah. Right. And then they're in cages or whatever. And you're walking from the club and you hear, ah! Yeah, they're all crying.

Yeah, crying, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I went to a mall in Las Vegas. And in the middle of the mall, they also had an aquarium that's a circle. Like you're inside the aquarium. And then the dolphins keep swimming one way. And then I was smoking weed with the security guard there. And I go, why are they always swimming one way?

And he goes, because it's so tight. They can't properly turn. Oh my god. And just for 20 years, you're in that lap of a mall. All these fat Americans are going to raw stress for less. I hate him. I hate him. Circling there for 40 years.

I hate knowing that. And they got bigger and bigger. Oh god. And you could sense they're like, and they weren't even swimming. You know, when they did like the long. What are you doing? You know, the long.

The long, yeah. They couldn't do a full stroke. That's terrible. The tail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no. For your whole life. Oh, okay, we got it.

We got it before. Fatness. Just kill these dolphins. And then the aquarium is yellow. Okay, is that pee? Oh God. All right, let's move on. Let's all move on from this. Man, that's terrible. Viva Las that P? Oh God. P, all right, let's move on. Let's move on from this.

Man, that's terrible. Viva Las Vegas! Yeah, yeah. Also, I hate TikTok videos. It's when the people's last moments with their dog. You gotta get that fucking out, man. It's true. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh, Toby, Toby. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't want to, I don't understand, but. Toby was my dog. It's really sad. Yeah, it's really sad. You don't remember? I don't want to say, I don't know the thing, but. Toby was my dog. It's really sad. Yeah, it's really sad. You don't remember?

I told you like five times. You remember Toby was my dog? The one that got chewed up by the husky? Yeah, weird. Okay, you shouldn't. I didn't know about this, hun. Yeah, I don't know why he brought up Toby, that's why. Aw.

I thought you had a Toby in your life. Toby McGuire? No, like a pet named Toby. Your favorite Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. You don't remember? Sorry, but no, you never told me.

Yeah, it was a Vester. Like a dog ripped your dog apart? Yeah, the husky. No! That's kind of awesome, dude. Did you see like the body part? I was like in eighth grade? Oh my God.

Oh my God. Why are you laughing? I don't know. It's so vulgar and sad. I know. It's so sad. I do that too. Whenever there's a death, I'm always like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, don't bring me to a funeral. It's like a nervous thing. Oh, I laugh like a fucking hyena. Me too. Me too. I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't help it. Because I can't, yeah. It's like being in school. It's nervous. I laugh like a fucking hyena. Me too. I can't help it.

Because I can't, yeah. It's like being in school. It's nervous. I'm like nervous. So my friend of mine, she killed herself in high school and we were at the funeral and I was with my friends and everyone's crying, right? Devastated. Why do you guys laugh?

It was like a black funeral. They were like rolling. They were rolling. Doing fucking somersaults. Yeah. You know what I mean? What? Anyway, um. This is real?

No. I'm laughing because she's laughing. I'm laughing because you're looking at me laughing. Okay, we're both laughing. It's okay. The girl is dead. This is real! I'm laughing because she's laughing.

I'm laughing because you're looking at me laughing. Okay, we're both laughing. It's okay. The girl is dead. This is real! I'm laughing because she's laughing. I'm laughing because you're looking at me laughing. Okay, we'll laugh. It's okay, the girl is dead. Is it real? No, it's a joke.

But anyway, she did die. I'm sitting there and you hear a knock. She's trying to get out. Something like that. And I laughed so hard, no one else laughed. Wait, somebody said she's trying to get out. I said that. Oh, you laughed at your own joke.

I laughed at my own joke. Wait, wait. Yeah, yeah. If I was at a funeral, you would say that. Scream, laughing. The funeral's over. Yeah, you'd laugh too, right? I would laugh so hard.

So I went, she's trying to get out. Like that maniacally. Oh my God. Yeah and people were like, the parents were turning around. Oh yeah. Swinging a miss. It's okay Jaime. It's okay Jaime. Yeah. That was a miss. I don't think that was a miss. That was definitely a miss. Yeah yeah yeah. The fact that if I said that and nobody's laughing, I laugh even harder, because it's so uncomfortable. I miss her, okay?

And I was devastated. That's so funny. I don't know why. But I don't know, like I... I think that's actually quite common. I think so too. There's like a fine line between like pain and laughter. And it's a very, it's very easy to cross over

on the other side of it. There's nothing more truer than death. I mean, it's finalized. You can't spin it, except Herman Cain tried. But do you remember that? Yeah, I did. Herman Cain, you know what I mean? It went to a Trump, he was running for office.

Yeah, I remember him. Yeah, and he went to a Trump rally in the height of COVID, and he died like a week later, but then three weeks later, he started tweeting again. It was crazy, it was like, you know what I mean? I don't regret going to the rally, you know what I mean? MAGA or something like that was crazy, but anyway, yeah, it's too true.

I can't do it. Where else do you laugh that's weird? Whenever the, oh yeah, I mean, every time, the bigger the tension or the bigger the pressure to act in a certain way. Yes. Dude, I fuck up. Every meeting I've ever been in where things get serious,

I always fuck it up. I always say something completely inappropriate. I always fuck it up. I always say something completely inappropriate. I always fuck it up. But funerals for sure. I literally, I had to leave. I went to my girlfriend's friend also. Killed herself. What the?

She jumped out of the window head first. I guess they killed. She jumped out of the window. Oh, I see. In front of her mother head first. Oh my God. Oh my God. Hi Ari. It's fucked up.

But I remember I couldn't go to the funeral with my girlfriend just because when I started approaching the funeral, how sad everyone was, I could feel it coming. That you're going to get. Yeah, it's going to be bad. Yeah. And then, you know then they play some hacky song. And then, of course, at the funeral. Is it a Beatles song? Don't You Dare.

No. That song is so over, In My Life? Don't You Dare, that's not. That's my favorite Beatles song. Don't You Dare ever again. No, I love that song, it's my favorite Beatles song. And it's not just for funerals, In My Life. In my life.

It hasn't come out good. I loved you more. Nothing? We are living a... I know that one. Swimming in the mist? That one? No, no.

Okay. Do you know what misses are? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you try to talk to a girl and then she goes with Ari and then that's a swimming in the mist. Finish the funeral? Sorry, Ari. Okay. You didn't go.

No, no, no. I mean, I was approaching the funeral and I had to go to the bathroom. It's not like I laugh alone in a bathroom like a psycho. I just felt I can't right now. I gotta leave. Cause it's so tense. Everyone's so sad.

But also I didn't even know the girl. So you're at a funeral, you know, you're like, it's like you're watching a series mid-season. I don't know, no affiliations at all. Yeah. And then I always get that, I don't know. Are you a child of trauma? For Americans for sure.

Yes. Dutch fitness. A lovely child, a lovely, smooth sailing child. That's how I used to feel during mass, like in the middle of church, when everyone was like kneeling. And like, as soon as, my sister and I would always get the sneer from my mom

and we'd get like, we'd have to leave the church early. And she'd like grab us. Yeah, kids don't do well with serious shit, yeah. Yeah, I think I was a kid too. What? When you met, when that lady. You were a teenager, yeah. Yeah, teenagers literally giggle city.

Yeah. All giggle. Also, I've never been in that situation before where I mean my grandparents had died, but they lived in Korea, but this is the first time that someone died. She lived like three blocks from me. Yeah.

And it was, I just didn't, you know, and with the home that I had with the violence and the screaming and all that stuff, I just couldn't do it. I just laugh because I just don't know what emotions are really. Yeah, I feel like in, it is a coping mechanism. Like if you don't laugh, you'll die.

Like that's sometimes how I feel. If I can't like, even the worst shit that's ever happened to me, if I can't tell it in like a playful way, I feel like I'll die telling it. Like I love when you're around something, like your experience with your family or loved ones, like a traumatic or like some deep thing.

And then if you find someone who's also a giggly guy to deviate the situation. Yeah. That's my bigger... Am I the giggly guy? I don't... If I grew up in Estonia, would we be friends? I feel like you would be opposing forces.

What? Enemies? No, because you're so, you're both such big personalities. Oh, we are. I mean, no, no, no, guys like this. I thrive. Shit, did you see that? Santino's like this.

Really? But there's a calmness to Santino. No, no, no, he's no, but there's also, there's this type of edge that they both share, I think. My point is this, no. Okay, okay, okay. Sorry. Are your parents here or is Ernesto here?

Everyone's dead, everyone's dead. Everyone's dead? Everyone's dead. Oh no. When did everyone die? Just periodically, everyone just died. Periodically. So like you have no family, no siblings.

I got a sister, sister. Oh, she's alive, so not everyone's everyone. Yeah, yeah, not everyone. Yeah, is she hot? I love singing You and I share Somebody I can't name who it is really that is doing a project. I think you'd be You should you got to be in it so, um, I don't know I just think that you're There's two separate podcasts Yeah, yeah, I think there's three separate podcasts what we're doing what I mean mean to say is that I think you have a big future. There's no one out there like you.

And honestly, do you want to plug some dates or anything? Just my Instagram, Ari Matty Comedy. Ari Matty Comedy. If you Google Estonian Comedian, I'm the only one that comes up. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, I see that.

And then it's great. So give Ari a round of applause. Woo! Ari! Ari! Can I get your number? With my dumb face. That's great. So give Ari a round of applause. Ari. Ari. Can I get your number? Thank you for watching!