TigerBelly - Bert Kreischer & The Thermostat Beef

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

Bert is Young Jaba. Bobby is one hundred percent in. Khalyla shows radical love. We chat Bill Shatner, Fully Loaded, The Shield, goody goody, and treat central. TigerBelly Live tickets at www.tigerbellylive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hay cosas que te dejan pensando como por qué los vostezos son contagiosos, pero MailChimp... No, MailChimp analiza los datos de millones de correos electrónicos para ofrecer recomendaciones personalizadas para mejorar el contenido de tus correos electrónicos, segmentar tu público, entre muchas cosas más, adivina menos y vende más con IntuitimailChimp. La marca número 1 en ImilMarketinia Automatización. Empiezad hoy mismo en MailCimp.com. Vas a vender a tus públicos de marcas competidoras en número globales de clientes en 2021-2022. I just like the word ripple. You know what that is? I mean I just...

Do we... I know what ripple means. I have a thousand dollars that says Bobby couldn't figure this out in 20 guesses. Oh yeah I can. What? Ripple? Yeah. In the ocean of a ripple water. That is also correct. No it is. That yeah, I can. What? Ripple? Yeah. In the ocean, they have a ripple water. That is also correct.

That is, no, it is. It is now $1. So how much do I get there? Are we rolling? Yeah. Whatever, dude. How much do I get? Ripple's a song.

Oh, from the Gravel Dead. God damn it, are you fucking kidding me? He would know that. How would you know that? Are you like the dead? I just saw the documentary. Really? I burned through it last week and the one that along Strain Trip's.

I can't imagine. Long Strain Trips? Okay, name your five interests. In life? In life. Star Trek? Okay. Whoa, I love it.

I'll tell you. Star Trek next generation. Okay. Do you know anything about that? Mm, that's one for cards in. Yeah, dude, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won. I have Bill. Bill, that's one for cards in. Yeah, dude, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want it.

I have Bill. What's the name of the lead guy? Bill, he was played Kirk. William Shatner. William Shatner, I call him Bill. Oh my God. So gross. He asked me, he made me cry in front of him.

Whoa, why? Because he was doing a movie and his movie was based on five comedians that break into an elder comedian's funeral so that they can get a chance in comedy and My character is someone who at the funeral Realizes he doesn't know this guy, but he realizes he needs more than death of his father He said can you cry? And I said yeah, and he said let me see it

And I said well, I'm gonna preface this he goes don you cry?" And I said, yeah, and he said, let me see it. And I said, well, I'm going to preface this. He goes, don't tell me anything. I said, okay. And so I started crying. But when I cry, I feel silly. So I start giggling. So it's a weird laugh cry thing. Yeah. And then I got done. And he was like, that was interesting. That's not good though. And that's interesting. It's not a good thing. I ended up talking to him about it. I'm talking to him about it. Fucking 20 years later, 20 years later, I run into Bill, Shatner, and I said, I said, you made me cry in front of you and he goes, I remember it. He remembers that.

I remember it. Yeah, well, I mean, he probably made a bunch of people cry. And then I was one of the ones. His house is right by Joe Koi's house. His office is right by Joe Koi's house. Yeah, because I just saw him not too long ago. He looks great. I couldn't believe it.

He's dead to me, William Schatner. Okay. Because I've had fucked up experience with him. So he's dead to me in front of life. That's why he used to be a Star Trek, the original, but now I'm only next generation in Deep Space Nine Dog. What did he do to you? Deep Space Nine.

I was at the fucking Billboard Awards. Uh-huh. I'll tell you what it is. I told you this before about saying again, dude, I'm fucking passionate fucking billboard awards. I'll tell you what it is. I told you this before about saying it again, dude. I'm fucking passionate about it. Oh, well, your podcast listeners, let you tell the same story twice. That's so funny, my cons don't.

Wait, you've never told the story? No, I've told the same story a lot. I like telling the same story. It gets better, but then they're like, Burtus tells the same fucking story. I know. We get it. Rogan changed your life.

Enough! Enough of it. Yeah. I'll tell you the story. How about opening that wine, Pete? I'm done. I am done. I am done promoting a fucking thing.

That's not a thing. All I've been doing is fucking promoting. Yeah. And I'm leaving for fully loaded tonight. And I'm done. No more podcasts. I'm not going to do another. This. And I'm leaving for fully loaded tonight, and I'm done. No more podcasts, I'm not gonna do another. This is my last podcast for like probably seven weeks. Fuck yeah dude, we're the last one dude.

Do you have no idea what's all you're going your tour? I'm in a, I'm in a therapy like twice a week. I'm like I'm done talking. You look healthy right now. I feel very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, You look maxed out though, you just stretched too much, you feel like way too much talking about me. That's why I'm like,

and you know what happens is like, I forgot how much fun just getting on a podcast and fucking talking to people is. As opposed to going like, hey did I tell you about my movie? You know, like, or did I tell you about this tour? Or did I tell you about my special, Razzle Dazzle?

What can I tell you about my fall tour? I mean, it's just like so much promotion. And I'm just, you're done. I'm done. Let me tell you about William Shat or my friend and by the way, you did that and I'm gonna fucking light up Gene Simmons keep going Oh, you have one gene Simmons. Oh fuck rockers got it coming when I think his His daughter just followed me and Instagram your friends with her. Oh, good. Yeah, my name name You're dad's a cunt. You're your fucking bragging babe. Yeah, I was good. DM or Good name. Name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name I put mine's on private so there's not fair that you can ask why would you put on private because you were after me There's an internet was after me I put I couldn't I have for

I had to put in private I've had enough of it. Yeah, I put on private, you know, I mean Yeah, I'm fucking crazy people. Yeah, I put on private and then I don't know when I'm gonna undo it But let me go back to build W Beelch at no do before you start this Yeah, I feel like you're doing right no, I feel I know what I'm doing. I know you're pushing me until I tell it 30 minutes later I'm not doing that. No, no, I'm playing this game with you. No, do you do you read negative comments on Instagram? Oh does he have Have I yes, have you I have in the past. Yeah, I'll tell you'll tell you oh I can't I can't learn this podcast. I had a bad one that was I thought I was fucking in the clear I thought it was someone else's fucking page was someone else

Wait, I know this I thought you knew this comment I this fucking comment But is that feeling of you think you're just going through Instagram? It has nothing to do with you. And then you read something about you on somebody else. That's crazy. And I've been promoting so much. I've been on so many things. I can't even get on YouTube anymore. Oh really?

I can't even get on YouTube because I'll pop up in my own algorithm. And I just see it and I go, I don't even want to fucking know what I said. It's because you see there, you know, whatever. I just get off it. I just fucking, you know, whatever. I just get off it. I just fucking, I'm off Instagram. I'm not off it. I'll watch other people's shit, but I came and read other people's comments. I was reading some guys comments.

They were all shitting on this comic, and I was like, oh, this is gotta be a pretty safe place, right? And the first comment is, you know, Berk Christchurch reading these comments, getting upset. Wow, I almost wanted to follow that guy and go, can you work for me? Yeah. and you know, Berk Christchurch reading these comments, getting upset. Oh, wow. I almost wanted to follow that guy and go, can you work for me? Yeah.

Can you work for me? Because you know me just as well as I know. Better than my wife. Bill Shatner. Bill Shatner. Hello. So years ago, are you listening? Mm-hmm.

No, you didn't. You did an eye thing. No, I'm drinking. I'm thinking about it. No, but you looked on the ground, not your glass. I'm listening. Are you really? I'm actively listening. you looked on the ground, not your glass. I'm listening. Are you really? I'm actively listening.

Okay, so, what, where are the Kim Jong-un? Which part? Where they told me I had to play, oh, so I gotta go back a little bit. So, billboard of words goes, can you play Kim Jong-un? That's right. So I go, okay, so they go, come to Vegas.

So they had me in Kim Jong-un in the audience and, and, G.L. Hugley was supposed to do a bit with me on stage, but he forgot to meant, do it. So I just sat there in the audience as Kim Jong Un, and that's gonna do nothing. So then, yeah. I sat there all show, and he didn't do it, and I'm sitting there, and now people are going,

why the fuck is this guy sitting here? It's Kim Jong Un. All right, so that's what happened. So the year later, I just want you to know that now people are going, why the fuck is this guy sitting here? It's Kim Jong Un. All right, so that's what happened. So the year later, I just want you to know that in telling this story, as a superior storyteller than you. Like I'm better than you. No, I know I am.

I know you. You're a good one. This is one of my favorite stories you've ever told. It already sets up so, this is a great setup because DL, you've like forgot to tell, now you're looking at a fucking lunatic, this is a really great setup to a story because now you look like forgot to tell. Now you're looking at a fucking lunatic. This is a really great setup to a story.

Because now you look like some lunatic. Dress is killing a lunatic. That was reference. No reference. That's the whole time. Right? And then Abby, my manager, was sitting behind me. And when he forgot to do it, she kept saying,

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. In my ear, the whole show, my manager was right behind me. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. In my ear, the whole show, my manager was right behind me. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Cause she knew I was live, cause I had to put beyond prostitutes. Do we have a visual of you as Kim Jong Un? Is this it? No, that was Kim Jong Il.

Oh, oh well, you play them so differently. You play them so differently. They look like they're different. Yeah, it's a different like, you know, me and a point of view. What was your motivation between Kim Jong-ho? So anyway, so then a year later, you'll board it work. I got Kim Jong-ho fucked one time

by making a Kim Jong joke. What was it? I said, can you believe how arrogant in this guy to name all his kids with his first name, Kim? That's why Kim, yeah. That's his last name. You know shit, I found that out the hard way. How would you not know that?

Asian Twitter, I didn't know, I didn't realize that we're the first. The last name, but first, Asians lit me up. I had to delete the comment and then they they weren't done with me. Oh, no, we're done with me. They were like, they were like, oh, you can't just delete the comments, fuck boy.

We know what you meant. And I thought I really thought he he named his kids Kim Jong Un, and then like, Albert Charles Christchurch of the first. Albert Charles Christchurch of the second. I'm gonna go to church. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, anyway. Keep going.

Can I finish? I'm dying to hear. So a year later, the Billboard Awards goes, we're gonna make it up to you. Okay. So I go, what is it that we know you love Star Trek? I go, fuck yeah, keep talking. And they go, well, how about a sketch with you

and William Schatner? Do I have to fly to Vegas again? They go, yeah. So I fly to Vegas. He's not there for rehearsal. It's just me at a fucking poker table and we have some dialogue. And we get a chiff, me and William Schatner.

Then he finally arrives. He walks in the tent and he looks at everyone and we go, dialogue, we get a chiff, me and Will and Shatner. Then he finally arrives, he walks in the tent, and he looks at everyone and we go, he looked towards me, you're out, you're out, you're out. And then they put me out of the tent, and I go, what happened? Yeah, he just wants to do his own thing. I go, I go home now?

Yeah, sorry. That's poor producing right there. I mean, would you be mad though? Yeah, but, yeah, oh, I'd be livid. I'd be livid. I can't, I'm not an actor like that though. I can't, you can't put me on a set and tell me to wait. I start getting really depressed.

Yeah, but you do it. Nope, I don't. Yeah, you did it for your movie? No, no, no, that's very different. I was starting my own movie. I can be that lead of something. I can't be cast and then go sit in this trailer and then we'll come get you when we're ready for you.

You've never done that before? No, I won't. No, you have. No, I won't. I have, no, I have, obviously I have. Like, I've done, I've never done that per se, kind of, but like, I can't do, I'm trying to show an example. What was the one I recently, I'll pull people aside and go,

you just, you know, this is making me fucking crazy and I'm so depressed. Like if Star Wars called, they can cast you as young Jabba. That's Star, we are okay, yeah. Yeah, Star Wars. A young Jabba. Yeah, yeah, young Jabba. Right when he's just done playing football

and he hasn't gotten into gambling yet. Yes. You know exactly what I'm talking about, right? And you can move. You can still move. I can move. You know exactly what I'm talking about, right? And you can move. You can still move. I can move. You know, right? So young Jabba, they're like,

we don't even need green screen or prosthetics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's perfect, right? No, no, keep with this improv, it feels good. Right. No, no, no. And I'm young Yoda. No, you're still Kim Jong Un.

All right. So anyway, and they go, you're young Jabba, you would wait days in a trailer to play young japa. I got offered the role of a Jedi and I turned it down. Oh, that's so fucking bullshit. Wait, is that real story? That's why you're lying! Look at the guy, what are you putting into this guy for?

Yeah, he was there. What, you were a Jedi? I didn't take it. I didn't take the meeting. I didn't take the audition. I didn't take any of it. Wow, why would you do that? That's a fucking career.

It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't. I can't. I audition, I didn't take any of it. Wow, why would you do that? That's a fucking career. It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't, I can't, I'm telling you right now. I get physically depressed, being like a paid for higher gun, it makes me lose my mind. And I know I'm not good for them. And like, and I'm doing it, I'm doing it on something else, I said yes to, but I'm doing it because of the person,

because I go, I can find, so like, I'll put it to you this way. If Jonah Hill, who I think is brilliant, if he wanted to work with me and he said, here's the deal, you gotta sit in the trailer for 10 hours and you're gonna work 15 hours a day, I'd do it, I'd wanna work with Jonah Hill, and I can find a way out of that depression. But if you say, hey man, we want you to

shoot a Miller light commercial. And it pays $125,000 or $500,000. And you don't have a contraction of the creative control. You're just gonna be the guy that shows up, Ripsy's shirt off and kills a Miller light, but we're gonna need you for four days. It pays $500,000. I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it because I know what I go through. I shot something, I'm trying to think of something fair because I don't wanna light up anyone, but like in the product, light somebody up. No, in the whole set up for this movie or for promotion, I had to shoot some stuff at sometimes. And I would watch producers take,

I shot something, I can't say anything, I can't say any of them, I can't say any of them. I shot stuff from you. Make it up, then. I shot something for Bud Light. What? And they said, hey, can you, what, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bathtub. I get it, I thought. I'm drinking a cold beer the way all of us should. No, I just can't, so like I'm back when I worked at all things comedy one time.

There was a long, long time ago, Bernaline. I was like, hey, we have an idea for these things to help promote your show and I was like, cool. And it was just simple like watching people set up lights and being in hair and makeup and waiting. I was losing my mind and I couldn't figure out what it was. And when I lose control, I start, I don't become difficult but I just start becoming like,

anti-social and get depressed. So I just, I know what I can do and I know what I can't do. I've had dudes write things for me in TV shows and in movies and I've had to reply to them and say, this a man, unless I can like, this sounds crazy, but like, unless I can have full run of like hanging out in the tent, watching you direct, like being around, like I can't just be like a hired gun.

Is it the isolation of it all? I think so, I think I start to feel like I'm wasting my life. Like it's always, it's never, it's not money. It's like you don't do it for the money, it's not great money, it's not money. It's like, you don't do it for the money, there's not great money in these. But I've seen you around, I think you have some sort of attention desk with a deficit or something.

Because even when I answer the door, just know there's a thing about you that's like, I'm here, you know what I mean? Maybe you're uncomfortable in your own skin sometimes. No, I mean, I'm sure I am, but I don't know. I don't know. I just know what I like and I know what I don't like. Yeah.

I remember Tom did a movie with Mark Wahlberg. And he was in Atlanta for like three weeks and he had two days of shooting. Yeah. Oh, I was like, you're out of your fucking mind. You're out of your fucking mind. You have those days that you're off. You can just do whatever you wanna do.

No. Can I fly back to LA and not do the movie? Just ask what I wanna do. Like I don't like the Theo Von Wai. Is that public knowledge? I don't know. I know that. I understand Theo.

I understand Theo. I don't know if everyone knows about that. I'll cut that out. Give it a, but I understand Theo and that. I actually empathize with Theo because I was like, yeah man, I think I have my own voice as a comic too. Yeah.

But I'll give you a perfect example. Give me. I was really difficult to our crew on the cabin because once I felt like they were holding you that guys there too long, I started getting anxious for you guys. And I'd be like, hey, can they go now? Because I'd be like, I feel like I'm wasting your time.

Like, yeah, I didn't feel that. You know, kind of like- Yeah, because you're an actor and you don't mind- But don't out, no, serving the project. But not only that, that don't out, and I knew we were doing something special. That was maybe one of the- That was a special episode.

That was a special episode. Everything about it was so weird and surreal and great. And I'm just glad that you asked me to do it. Do that well. But you're better glad that you asked me to do it. Do that well. But you're better at that than I am. You are. And there were people that were like, am I done now?

And I would always be like, can we get the amount of here? Because that's how I feel. That's ultimately how I feel, but I don't say am I done now? I just start getting depressed. I kind of feel like you should probably relate to this because I've gotten many phone calls. You're like, I hate it here. I can't be here. I want to go home. Yeah, I kind of feel like you should probably relate to this because I've got many phone calls. You're like, I hate it here, I can't be here, I wanna go home, like, yeah, yeah, I've been on.

I was having you wait. I know, but the thing is that I still do it. If you can just do it. If you have, because I need to be distracted with creativity. So like if you say, like I've signed up for a couple of projects where I'm allowed to be a collaborator with the production. So I can sit, either on my producer on the project, like I need to be a collaborator with the production.

So I can sit, either on my producer on the project, like I need to be a producer on the project and I just wanna sit back, I don't even need to say anything. I just wanna be able to go into the tent, hang out and watch. I don't wanna be like, I'm not a good, just hired gun. I'm just not that, yeah, I'm not good. So I did a movie called Heartbreakers,

it's on my thing, nobody watched it. But anyway, I remember it was a 16 hour away, and I had a monologue. The problem with that is, for 16 hours in my trailer, I just thought about this monologue. You know what I mean? The whole time. We're rehearsing it.

We're rehearsing it. And then I got in my head about it, and then when I got, when I got, I swear I got this happened. I swear I got this happened. I go on my mark, and the lady was a director. She goes, are you ready? I go, how good?

They go action. Nothing came out. And then I tried it like eight or nine times. I couldn't do it. I was so nervous and they cut the scene. And I remember going in my car and driving on crime. See, I can't, I was hired for, when the one thing I would have ever been hired for

that I did was on the shield and I like it and I got Michael chiklets Michael chiklets. Yeah, and I was humiliated. I was humiliated by the whole experience. Well first of all I mean this topped about them and I like whistle a lot, huh? I know known. I have a lot tonight No, that was the first one. I know 14 14 14% of the people on my Instagram don't know how to whistle. I don't know how to whistle. I can do like a long to whistle. I can do. I know that one. I know that one. I know this one. I could do that. The loud one. I don't like it. I never tried that one. I never tried that one.

Sweet, so I get hired for the shield. I have a flu. I have the flu. Wait, wait, can I go back to work? I can tell you when this was. Are there different kind of parts you can do? I feel like you can do stuff with your holes. I can definitely fart louder if I want to.

But can you do different styles? Like, do it, do it, you know what I mean? No, like, oh, I know that one. I've done that one. Give me the other one. If I shave my ass hole, it claps. Whoa. Brag, brag.

That's cool. Yeah, congratulations. Big ones, big ones in the mornings, and then I go, what did that asshole say? So I get hired for the shield. I'm supposed to play a cock. I'm supposed to watch this black dude fuck my wife. Whoa, it's my scene.

I'm dressed in DWD. Jordan, I like this. Yeah, and so I go, I get there, and I'm not advocating for myself. So like I just, and it's my first thing I've ever done, and they just put me with the extras. And then I'm like, okay. And I go, do I, am I gonna need clothes?

And they're like, no, just wear what you're wearing. And then I'm like, all right, dude, I'm gonna deed that. I'm supposed to be in an outfit, I think. And they're like, and here's the thing that I'm also not sharing in this whole story. And I don't think anyone really says, I've been in the scenes when you're nobody, the moments when you're nobody,

and people treat you like total shit. Because there's a lot of production people who are just fucking cunts. They're really not sweet people. And they're not to the extras and they're not to the people that don't matter. They are to the star, but to everyone else. And so I'm like, do I, can I, can I maybe talk to somebody? Because I feel like you're not the bright person to talk to. And they're like, sir, over here, okay?

You stay here until lunch and then we'll get you for lunch. And I'm like, I'm in the wrong fucking place. And I'm by the way, I'm not feeling good. I felt sick that day. So it was the day there was a blizzard in New York that weekend. And I had been at the Borgada and I had to drive through the blizzard to get on a flight to get home.

So then I finally find someone and I go, hey, I'm supposed to be like in a DWP outfit. And the guy goes, oh yeah, yeah, we're in the wrong fucking place. Takes me to my trailer. Would you be my costume? But you didn't, no, let's just go, let's go, let's go, let's go,

I've been sitting with, I'm in the other room, let me go. I'm in the other room, can I, can I, can I say something? Yep, yeah, please. All right, you didn't then at that point go, the fucking lady, you dream like shit, I was in the fucking thing. I don't like confrontation. Neither of us do.

But did she apologize? Did she apologize? No, I don't want to apologize. It gets worse, Bobby. It gets worse. Okay, keep going then. So, I then, I then, like, I've been there since eight in the morning. I then get called over to set, and it's just like, I've been there since eight in the morning. I Then get called over to set and it's just like it's like I've been there all fucking day And then they're like okay, so we're gonna have you you're looking inside this window. You're watching two people have sex and I know the rest of the scene and then they're gonna handcuff me walk me to the front

Do you guys know this guy black two is gonna open door go? Yeah dudes with her And that's the scene. You can find it on the line. Yeah. So I do the scene and I make a decision as an actor. This is the first thing I've ever been casting in life. I make a decision to play with my dick. Does that figure? And that's okay.

It's okay. I know that that's not cool now, but like at the time I thought, if you're cool with me, I go, if you're, I go, they, one guy sucked another dick on the shield. Oh, I could be able to play with my day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I go up to the window. Yeah, I'm looking in the window and I and I'm looking around and they're on the camera And I'm playing with my dick and then the car pulls up and it's the female cop and the dude cop and the female cop calls cut. She's like, wait, what? He's touching himself. Like, and I was like, oh, fuck, did I miss the script?

Oh, no. Did I miss read the script? Like the woke actress. I don't know if she was woke, I don't even know her name, but she got upset that I was touching myself. Woke. And then I'm thinking, I miss read the fucking script. I miss read the fucking script.

No, you improvise. It's your right as a fucking actor. And that's what I thought. The choice. And now that I've acted, I know that you'reise. It's your ride as a fucking actor. And that's what I thought. The choice. And now that I've acted, I know that you are allowed to do some wild shit as an actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Draw out a performing, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, my first thing. It's all my cool fuck.

So they come over, they pull her, say, okay, we're sorry we'll talk to them. Michael Chiclitz and the, I think it was directing this episode. But there's another guy. So they take her back to the car, they put him in position one and Michael Chalice goes, I love your choice. I love it. Ignore her. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna shoot a bunch of close-ups. Have you played with your dick? We're gonna like do like some long-lens shit. Yeah, give us some time, but we're gonna but really go out. Fuck yeah man. Really go after it and then and then when you're done, when we bring her back in, just don't play with your dick, okay? Okay, very

good. Because we'll have it covered. We'll back in just don't play with your dick, okay? Okay, very because we'll have it covered We'll use that but don't play with your dick when we she pulls up. I want to deal. So I feel vindicated So like all right, she's on position one action And so I let go over the window and I start playing with my dick. I'm like I'm like nice And then it's like I'm like okay, this has been like 10 seconds. Yeah, and then I'm like now I'm on a minute I'm like I'm still playing my dick minute, and I'm like, I'm still putting my dick in the heart. And I'm like, oh my God.

So now I'm like, it's getting hard, I'm really getting into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my dick is more, like fucking three minutes. And I'm like, is he gonna wait until I calm? Like, yeah, we should have it right now, right? And then in my head, Michael Checklist is just sitting the director's chair going, let's see how long this guy will go.

Yeah. Was the camera on? I guess. Okay, I don't have anything. I haven't seen it in a long time. I know, I think they show me playing with my dick a little bit. And then we did the scene. Okay, that's me.

That's her. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm playing with my dick. Hang on, pal. Look at that. You weren't, dude. How quick it was? Back here. Oh, just now? I'll just go ahead and hold on. Did you get what you were, dude? That was quick it was? Back here.

Oh, just now? I'll just go ahead and hold on. Turn around, hands behind your back. Oh, I have permission. Hands behind your back. No, back. You're good actor, dude. Thank you.

Sorry, Bobby, sir. We just apprehended a man looking through your window. Yo, girl. This all good. Dude would have. You're taking through your window. Yo girl! This all good. Dude, what a hug. What? That's a really interesting toy for me. Do you know this man?

Married to him long enough? He's your husband. I told you. No one's breaking the law here, officer. We're just playing. Right. Roll playing on the way to work. With our friend.

Six out of 10. It's a sad thing. It's a sad thing. And by the way, I didn't even have to read for it. I just walked in and they're like, it's him. Really? I didn't even read for it. I didn't even read for it.

I didn't even fucking read for it. I walked in. I had to see it. No, no, no, we got it. It's him. And I was like, oh, cool. What's the scene? You like to watch black guys fuck your wife.

And I was like, okay. You should have wanted me to read. I couldn't act different. Dude, you, I mean, for the little, I saw you, I go, that's, he's good actor. I believed it. That was, that was the first thing I've ever done. Yeah, and did you do other acting after that or no?

No, that really depressed me. That whole experience really kind of like shook me. And then I did a, I then I did a pilot for CBS. That was really fun. Yeah. But I was, I need a lot. I need a lot of like, this is gonna sound horrible and this isn't like great podcast content, but I need a lot of approval and like kind of stroking to make sure I feel like I'm doing it.

It's why I like stand up is that it's that immediate, immediate response. Yeah. And then I can, I'm in it. If I don't get it acting, I start going like, am I fucking sucking? And I suck, oh God, I need to stop doing this. Why am I doing this? I should let real actors do this.

I'm just some fucking stupid comedian. Yeah. So, but yeah. Wow. So your, the movie, what's the success, dude, would you believe? I mean, it wasn't a box office success, but it's hard to get people to go to the, our challenge wasn't but it's hard to get people to go to the... Our challenge wasn't...

Our challenge was just getting people to go to the theaters. I will tell you very candidly that Premiere was the greatest day of my life. The shooting of that movie was the greatest experience I've ever had. And the whole run of it being in theaters was so fucking fun to take my kids out to go see it in the movie theaters, to go with my nephew, to go with my parents, to I go out to movie theaters and surprise people, to listen to people laugh at jokes. We came up with insurbia on the fly. It was really one of the coolest experiences. I wish everyone could get to have that experience. So I have nothing, I have nothing but like positive great thoughts

about it. And I hope to do make more. I hope to make more movies and you will. Yeah, I'm trying to put more. And I've said this to you before. Yeah. But man, I say it again. Please. Okay.

Is that, you know, when my friend Andy Santino went to the fucking thing. He was very nice. No, but this is the truth. Just hear what I'm got the fucking same, man. Okay. Man, I'm sorry I've been being so aggr right now. But he came back from it.

He pulled me aside. Let me talk to you. I go, why? And he goes, on his truth, I go, yeah, he goes, birds great in that movie, that movie's great. It's funny, it's perfect. I had a great time. Yeah.

Because I think, you know, some people maybe went under and go, let's see how weird this is gonna be. And then when they saw it, they were like, oh, everyone listening right now, it's Andy Santino, it's very fickle, and he's very difficult to like anything. For him to pull me aside in private, look at me in my little BDIs and go,

that shit's legit, it's fucking legit. All right, so congratulations to you, young Jabba. Thank you, thank you. Right. I hope to do many more projects. Fuck you. Yeah, no, it's great. And I'm sorry, I didn't go to the,

I'm sorry, why did I say that? I love you. But also, I'm sorry, I didn't go to your premiere. That's okay. I understand you, Bobby. You do? Oh, yeah, I do. It's taken a while, I understand you.

What do you mean? Why did you go? What do you mean? It doesn't matter why he didn't go. What matters is do you love Bobby? No. So Bobby, someone that like you're going to love, you have to love him unconditionally.

Because if you love him conditionally, then you're going gonna be let down. Yeah. That's not, no true or worse. No, you're wrong. Have been spoken. You have, there's like a radical love that has to exist. Yeah, like you love, you know, Jesus and stuff.

Yeah, like Jesus. Yeah, not Jesus, I'm just saying that you have to have a radical love. Yeah, you have to, you are much like Jesus. So by the time the person decides that they will radically love you, there's no, we cannot unlove you. Right.

It's like, and guess what, my friend? It's an ad- And guess what, my friend? What we're guessing? The radical love? Right back at ya. For me? For all, everywhere, you too.

Oh, I deserve the same love you get. Because I'm like you. Yeah. I'll promise you stuff I'm not gonna follow through it. It's time. Yeah. Yeah. I know.

It's horrible. I know me too. I do the same thing. It's something we have to cut out of our lives. Yeah, or just like people get it. Like, like, so girl tell you, you're not gonna get a reply from me on a text from email.

Like I just, I'm just not, it's not happening. It's not on the fucking, I thought, have you on my to-do list? I don't read my DMs, I don't reply to my DMs, people will send me a DM and I'll be like, ugh, what did you, I had to text Spade one time. What did you send me 22 days ago? Yeah.

And he'll be like, I have no fucking idea. Yeah. But I just, it's so funny, because you guys give me shit about it that I don't text back and I'm aloof, right? But I have the same disease as Burnthouse. No, you got a lot better. Thank you, and I'm being nice to you.

Hey, fuck face. You fucking white piece of shit. I've been so fucking nice, you fucking white piece shit. All right, have I not been, I say I love you. Yes you have. Yeah, and I'll give you, and I don't want you,

but I go out of my way to do it. Yeah. It kills me, it pains me to do it. But I do it because I want to change. I do you want to change, I don't know if I want to change. I do want to change. I've, all the change I want to make is internal. Like all the change, I just want to change inner dialogues.

Negative self talk. Negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is the number one thing I do. What's the number one thing you beat yourself up over? It's a one negative self-talk where you're just like, God, I could really do a way with this. I'll tell you, I hear other people talking about me in my head, like other comics, like other comics. There was, I'm trying to think there's one that happened

with Bobby, but like, and, well, I mean, it's one of the reasons I love you, but it's like, like comics always tell you one thing. Other than Andrew Schultz, Andrew Schultz will tell you the, Andrew's got really good. He must be in fucking great therapy since he was a kid. Cause he'll tell you directly.

He's too direct. He's, I love it. He's too direct. I love it. I don't want it from the tap. I like it from a filter. You want to, yeah, put it through Phil's, Andrew. Bobby, yours is so filtered.

It's been coffee beans eaten by goats that shit it out. And then we start brewing the coffee That's true yours is mines like that too. Yeah, but like I like I will imagine like there was a period where we were sending out offers for fully loaded this year and and I sent offers to like three dudes, all of which and that's just like, what am I gonna say? I know what he's gonna say. No, I'm not, no, he's not what I'm gonna say.

And it's ridiculous. And I don't want to be a part of it. No bullshit. No, hold on, hold on, hold on, it's 100% accurate. And no, and so like two of the dudes, two of the dudes are my good friends and I couldn't get an out Bobby was one of the people But Andrew Schultz just texted him back and said hey man, I'm gonna be politely decline I've got to the plans this summer and I was like cool and then like and then like say like

Yeah, this is the nut lineup for this year and so like a couple the people Like I know didn't just didn't reply or like yeah, I know, didn't reply, or like, yeah, I'd love to, that's great. And then they passed and I was like, wait, I'm so confused. And so then I start making up conversations in my head of how they feel about me. And then which is, doesn't serve you right.

And what do you think they feel about you in the middle? Oh, birds of fucking idiot. He's a fucking fucking, fuck him, fuck him. Like, he's weak. You know what, he's a fucking loot. Like, and it's all stuff I feel about myself. Yeah. And that I will, you know, like when,

like, and I had a hate bringing this up about Ari, but when Ari drugged me, it was so confusing for me, because one of the things I think is, you think I'm weak. I, we've talked about this where I go, you think you can do certain stuff to me that I won't, I won't have any retaliation. And when, that happened with Ari, I started having conversations on my head

about people laughing about me at the New York, in the New York comedy scene going, fuck him, dude, he's full of shit. You know, he talks about doing drugs and then all of a sudden you slip him drugs and he freaks out and I'm like, go and, you have it, it's a more nuanced conversation than that.

I'm doing this on my head, laying in bed, doing this on my head, having a fight with Ari and like, like comics that I don't, even, I couldn't even put faces on them. And I was, and they were making fun of me, and I'm, but it's me doing it. And then I, and then all of a sudden I'm like, or like, you ever, you ever text someone? And then they don't text back and then you go, they must fucking hate me. They must fucking hate me. And then you start having a dialogue in your head

and then also on one day they're like, so shit, I didn't see this, my bad. And then you're like, wow, I went through a lot of that for no reason at all. Okay. What? Is there something? Yes.

I stood up, sorry. That's okay. I'm back. Okay, good, good, good. I'm back, I went through a thing. Yeah. When I stood up, I went through a thing in my mind. Yeah, what did you think it was?

No, I'm gonna tell you what it is. Okay. I'm gonna tell you the unfiltered truth of it. What? Okay. So I'm on tour now with the red head. Sorry, just for clarification. You did an offer for fully loaded, and then he said,

he's offered me a bunch of shit. Hold on, hold on. He's offered me a bunch of shit. You wanna get really in the way? Yes, yes. Let's get in the way it's gone. So last year I came on this podcast. Yeah, I remember. It's on camera. a bunch of shit. You want to get really in the weeds? Yes, yes. Let's get in the weeds, go. So last year I came on this podcast. Yes, I remember.

It's on camera. It's on camera. We have it. And we have it. I'm bet we could find it. Someone could play it. And I said to Bobby, yeah, I gave you an offer for full. He goes, how come I'm not on it?

I said, I gave you an offer fully noted. He goes, I didn't know it was this though. I said, but this is what I told you. And he goes, no, my agent said, you're not going to be Burke Christchurch's opener. I would like to point out three months after that, he opened for my best friend, Tom Segura. Okay. He opened for Tom Segura. I'm for Tom Segura. My best friend. We do the same side. We pay the same. What? I would, I would argue that Tom probably is not a comic to me. I don't know if I want to follow Bobby.

That's not what I want to do. But, so I said, okay, cool. So I said, hey, I'll send you offers for the crews and for the, for the, for the tour. So I sent offers for both. And then I call Bobby. That's it, that's it. They said, hey man, we can't get word back from Bobby.

Do you want to talk to him? So I call Bobby. Bobby's like, yeah, I'm on it. I'm in, I'm in 100% and then I go, hey, Bobby's in, reached out to his agent and his agent. I don't know who his agent is. And he goes, yeah, Bobby's not doing it. So I go, we'll hold on.

I just need to be clear that I told Bobby, I told Bobby clearly I would have offers, I would offer him because I'm his friend. I want him to spend time with all his comics. I'm not leaving him out. And then I like, he knows he got the offer He doesn't want to do it and I went okay, and then I did it again For that was for the cruise I did it again for fully loaded and they said and I talked to Bobby directly about this

Bobby's like I'm in I'm in I'm in I'm doing it I'm doing it and then I go Bobby said and they're like hey man Bobby's definitely not Okay, so can I explain something to you? I'm just only to be fair. Yeah. I have, I'm sure I'm guilty of the same thing, Bobby's done, where you don't want to let anyone down. No, it's not even that.

What? Wait, I can maybe defend you here a little bit. I know what. So basically it's like this. So he has ADD. So in his head, he's like, I'm doing this. I'm doing this thing with Bert. When I say I'm doing it, do you?

I'm 100% doing it. So this is what, so when his reps call him, okay, so that's what I was saying. You're right, you're right. When his reps call him, let me back you up for a second. Yeah, well, perper perper. Hang on, I just want that, I want that as a shirt. When I say I'm doing it with you, I'm 100% in. I'm a hundred percent in. I'm a hundred percent in. Right? Okay. Until other voices kick in.

Yes. But I'll be on that. Go ahead. This is where his ADD really does him both favors and the opera. Betrails. Betrails. Because he's like, I want to do this thing. So when his reps call him about it, he's only really half listening.

I've been in the room with him. Where he's on Elden Ring. He's playing video games. And then they're like, this, this, and they're giving him as a agenda for the next couple of months. I'll give you the next. And then he's so lazy, he doesn't wanna make the decisions.

No, no, no, no. Go ahead. Because there have been situations where he's just like, they're like, we don't want you to do this. We don't want you to do this. And he's like, yeah, fine, fine, whatever. And I've interjected and said, no, you are doing this thing. And I'll give you a prime example.

A prime example. A prime example. Res dogs. Res dogs, right? So I get a call from my agents. You got offered a show called Reservation Dogs. I don't want to do it. It's a great show.

I know, listen. All right, I say no. And then they go, okay. And they move on, right? And I don't even remember saying, I don't want to do it. I guess I did, right? Until later, she reads an email, right?

I don't know. I overhear his manager on the phone saying, like this thing, one word, I'm a reservation doctor, because it doesn't sound. Like she, nobody hyped it up and I was like, are you fucking kidding?

She goes, she goes, she goes, it's Tyka white TT and I go, oh, and that's why I did it. Because I heard his manager say, Taika white TT, she didn't even know the name, and I was like, no, you have to do that. She goes, you have to do your manager.

Is it Tyka white TT? Marjorie Green. Well, Takadika Walker Walker! It's Walker, Flaque of Flame, Jubaka face. I love her face.

Right, so I don't have like, so I, so when you say, right, do my unfiltered, whatever the show's called, what's it called? It's unfiltered filters.

You have a filter, right? It's fully loaded, fuckface. It's fully loaded. Yeah. Same kind of thing. Yeah, unfiltered, full loaded. And I'm looking at you, I swear to God, I'm 100% in.

Yeah. And I also think how exciting. Yeah. I'm gonna be backstage with my friends, right? We get to do shows together. It's gonna be, maybe I'll get laid. Yeah. Who knows, you know what I mean?

Right? And I go through the second. Who's your booking manager? Or who's your agent? Yeah. C-A-A. Oh, I'll go with you. Yeah, U-T-A.

Right, so that's the problem. I think it was the problem. I'm not, I'm being 100% set. So I'm going to, and I'm going to say this online. Don't cut this out, right? My guy at C-A-A, and you're guy at U-T-A, are mortal enemies. There's a story there.

They are. Did you know that? No. There are mortal enemies. In fact, so there's a photo in my phone. No, it's can. Oh, right. So they used to work together at a agency and they hated each other because of the temperature

of the room. They fought over the temperature. Right. So it, like it hot. How am I just hearing about this? It's an origin story. Yeah, this is real. Thermostat beef. Because I will tell you.

Thermostat beef. Thermostat. It's about the temperature of the office. What? Are you fucking eating? No, this is real. Right, so I have a photo with, because they used to be at Gourh and I was at Gersh.

And I have a photo with, and I send it to, and cut out, in the return. Wait, that's the next thing, the name so we can check it out. Anyway, anyway, the two agents are mortal enemies. I'm talking about like,

Biden and a Trump kind of animosity. Name three other really big comics that company At the where I'm at yeah Shane Gillis, but he's in I saw him no no no yeah Andrew Schultz keep going I will Tim Dylan Tim Dylan This is all over the fucking thermostat Yeah, dude temperature of the room They can't even because I'll take me and Andrew and Drew's at your place No, I'm at my place, you know, he's at UTA and we have a tour together right now

Yeah, it's been hard It's like a it's been hard dude. I said to say thermostat Thermostat what Thermostat. Thermostat. What? We need to change subjects. Why? Keep going.

What else is going on in the next? Have I blown your mind? No, it's, I would, yeah, I don't know. I can't really talk, man. That's the thing. What I'm saying is, Well, I guess maybe that internal dialogue sometimes is very accurate.

When you lay in bed and you fight with yourself and you think of people thinking. Yeah. Maybe the story is very accurate. A lot of it is that. Bert, listen, what do you? Bert. Yeah. I'm just looking at me now.

It's over the fucking thermostat. I know, I know, I know. But let me tell you something right now, a lot of it, dude. I may not be able to do this podcast after this. His mind is blown. Why? This is cause a, this specific one, why? This, no, no, let's change subject.

Yeah, let's change subject. All right, all right. Wow. What are your thoughts on orcas killing people? I think they I think they're teaming up Very good. I gotta be honest. I saw that video of that worker going after that boat. Yeah, they're smarter than we are Maybe they're aliens like they're smarter than we are. Yeah, you know what I think whales are next I think whales are gonna because whales have been so fucking cool But yet they can't really tell difference of races What do you mean? What do Japanese are killing whales at a fucking quick clip?

Oh, you're a great way, sir. So you think they don't know the color of yellow. No, I think whales don't see, that all they see is a boat and they're like, oh, cool. And then they don't travel to that side, but in Seattle, I saw this whale circling a dude on a paddle board today.

And it was the coolest life experience you'll ever have. And then you know, over in where the Nishimaro is, the whales are coming up and like, hey, cool, I wonder if they want to pet my snout. And then they're like, dive, dive, yeah, yeah. Do you get a context there? These whale experiences where the people on the boat

will kind of like pet these whales, and then brush off the barnacles a little bit. But I think maybe they're on their way there because have you seen the video of the whale just swallowing those two kayakers? That's an accident. That's like how many times do you think we dropped anchors on whale's heads? No, that's right. You know, it's like you don't think whales are like, dude, they fucking hate us.

There's gotta be one whale going, dude, they drop anchors all the time. You were in the way. It's not going to happen. But the cove, remember the cove, the dolphins, the Japan still, those Japanese motherfuckers. Yeah, you can say that. I just think, why can't you say that? Because I don't, I don't think it comes racist for me. No, Asians can say, they're motherfuckers. Our best friends are Chinese and Vietnamese married married Chinese Vietnamese. Yeah. Yeah. Man, they're motherfuckers. Our best friends are Chinese and Vietnamese, married, married, Chinese Vietnamese. Man, they light them all up.

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They light them all up. And they say it loud and they say it, like they don't have like one person that doesn't have like an Asian accent. And you're like, you gotta put an Asian accent on that shit when you say it. You can't say that about Koreans.

Yeah. Oh, they're not motherfuckers. I mean, I went too far, but what I'm saying is that, Chinese people out, oh, they're not motherfuckers. I mean, I went too far, but what I'm saying is is that Japanese people out of all, okay, let's say. They got chill. But when you look at Japanese people in their society, it is the most fucking cultured,

hands, like, prim and proper society you've ever been to. I've only been to the airport in Korea. I've been to Vietnam. That's like they're putting their fingers inside your mouth. I mean, they're like, they're like, oh, it's aggressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's aggressive. In Vietnam?

Traffic in Vietnam? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I've never been there, it's like a... I think the Philippines, we had to whisper. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But Vietnam's a different level, no? It's similar, the Philippines is notoriously horrible. A bit of traffic.

Fucking, Joe Koi says to me, uh, Mahalakita. Mahalakita. All the time. What does that mean? No, I didn't know it, man. I love you. Yeah.

So I have a Filipino Uber driver. We're talking about all this and we pull up to our boss and I go, hey, Mahalakita. And he goes, what the fuck did you say to me? I said, Mahalakita. What does it mean? And he goes, and he goes, you just say I love I said, my hon- my hon- my hon- You know? What does it mean? And he goes, and he goes, you just say I love you? And I say, I thought that she just went like,

Hey man, what's up? Oh, wow, wow. I just told a fucking Uber driver, I loved him. He started laughing so fucking hard. I was like, Joe Koi says it to me and he goes, Yeah, like, you know who- you know who Joe Koi is. I go, no, I'm a comedian. I'm a- face on the side of a fucking bus.

I go, I definitely know Joe Koi, because you don't know Joe Koi. What? You know what you mean? Every time I do I do I know you do I but I they don't know that I don't know him personally. Really? Any time I get blood taken. Oh really? Yeah what do you do for him? I'm a comedian. Oh really? Yeah. You ever heard of Joe Koy? I go yeah I know I'm like you don't know I'm FaceTime it I'm like, that's what I did with you when I was in hungry. Yeah. I FaceTime a guy because he didn't believe I knew you.

Yeah. Right. So I go watch this and you picked up, thank God. Of course. Of course. I always pick up on FaceTime. I love a good FaceTime. Yeah, yeah, FaceTime's a great.

I love a FaceTime where you don't expect to FaceTime. You're like, oh, they're in a pinch. They need my Face for this. If you ever wonder what Korean lady, I'll show you a nice word to say that you're going to love, right? What is it? Boji, machi sa. Boji machi sa.

Yeah. Boji machi sa. Boji machi sa. I'm gonna tell you what it means, right? I want you to say it to a Korean lady. Okay. They're gonna fall in love with you, bud. I know a lot of Korean ladies.

I'm big in the Kim Jong-un community. Good, good, good, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When we went to Thurstreet, one of our good friends was a Korean dude. He was at the premiere, Roy Choi. I know Roy, we've done our podcast. Yeah, Roy, Roy, what's a good guy?

Roy lived down the hall from me, him and his wife, Jean and Kaylen, their daughter, and they were staying at the fucking hotel that we had the premiere party at randomly, and he was like, with his daughter, and he was like, yo, burst premier is like, next door, do you wanna go? And so they came over to the premiere

and they were looking out with them all night. Yeah. It's really crazy. He told me about, I'm sure I've said this, but I'll say it again. He told me about the idea of starting Kogi at Thanksgiving. We're at my house having Thanksgiving dinner. And he said, I want to, I wanna, he was working at Rock sugar at the time

He was like I was thinking about doing a taco truck Wow like a fusion taco truck like Korean barbecue kind of like really makes something different and I was like Like a buddy can't be honest with you and he's like what? I was like that's the dumbest idea. I've ever heard my fucking life And he was like what and I was like you do really do Sword of God, I said a taco truck? Yeah. A taco truck. I go, well, you got a family. You got to take a flashlight.

I really? I swear to God. Because my boyfriend Wolfgang was like, years ago, I was like a pizza, and I thought you should do the pizza. Well, you guys had a hockey game, and he's like, I just don't have a last name. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you had to know.

Yeah, we're watching the North Stars. Yeah. And I go, Pock, Pock. Yeah, T're watching the North Stars. Like, and I go, Pock, Pock. Yeah, it is like, thank you. I made white chili for Tom Suga and Roy Choi one night. He did? Yeah, and it's called for nine cans of chilefe.

And I put nine cans of jalapenos in. And I made a chili so bad that Roy Choi left my apartment. I said, Roy help me fix it. And he looked at me and he backed out of my apartment and he goes, I can't help you. And he left and made himself dinner. And then he came back and Tom and I ate it. Us two fat foxes.

This one, Tom was like 29315. Wow. And we were like, we was like 293, 15. Wow. And we were like, we'll just have diarrhea tomorrow. It's not a big deal. We're just gonna have diarrhea. Yeah, it's, it's, what were we talking about Korean people? Yeah.

Yeah, why did you? Steve Berne called me one time and he was like, hey, I'm really sorry. Are we just talking about Koreans right now? Yeah, yeah, okay. Let's just talk, we'll talk about Korean. Let's see how long we just talk about Korean. All right we just talking about Koreans right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just talk about Korean. Let's see how long we just talk about Korean. All right, let's do it.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Steve Burnt called me one time and he was like, Hey, I met Roy Choi's taco truck. What does he look like? And I go, yeah. I go, you. You?

He was with Vince Vaughn. He was at Vince Vaughn. How do I know this? I probably told you this. No, no, no, that's not it. He called me too. Yeah? Yeah. No, he called me too. I swear to God. This is how white probably told you this. No, no, no, that's not it. He called me too. Yeah? Yeah.

No, he called me too. I swear to God. This is how white Steve Burnett called me too. He goes, you know Roy Choye. And I go, yeah. And he, what does he look like? I swear to God. I swear to God, he checks it.

I swear to God, me too. So at that same night, he was with it. And then did he ever run into? I said to him, he looks like you, but more hip hop. Yeah. I didn't say that. I said, look, gookier. I said that too.

I said that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's so weird to do it. I sort of got, I remember that because I remember being mad like, just wait in line. Why, what, you Vince Vaughn can't wait in line?

What's the update on your beef with Vince Vaughn? Are you guys cool? We did a movie together. I know, but like, was it like just cordial or it was like? Dude, do it, do it. I was like, I was with Vince Vaughn, are you guys cool? We did a movie together. I know, but was it just cordial or a movie? Dude, we were just beef with Vince Vaughn. I did. Why? I had beef with everybody. Why?

That's why I am. But when Vince meet, and I did that short film, it was just him and I, we had the most magical, glorious day, and I- But did you reminisce? Yes, we did. And we're good. And I don't know why you brought that back up.

I just think- You're going back in the past. I've had wars with many people, but I always resolve them in my own time. Because again, it's like Bert staying up at night thinking that was that real? Was that not real? It's real.

It's real, and I'm going to do it for the rest of my life. And I think I would argue we should keep a little bit of that realness in this podcast. There's a moment in my eyes that we cut out the way we get through it. I know where to cut it. But there's a realness in my eyes and I hope that we leave it because I'm a bit

that serious because when you think about it too. Because what's crazy, this is the thing. If you think your chick's cheating, she's cheating. Yeah. You gotta follow your gut. You gotta find out. Here I am in therapy not listening to my gut. And if you think people are talking behind your back,

or if you think something fishy is going on, it's going on. And I sort of got, Bobby, this has been probably one of the most epivinous podcasts I've ever done in my entire life because that of that moment, and I want you to keep, you can keep whatever you want up until, but I want that single shot of me when you see it in my eye. I saw it, you're at that point.

When you saw in my eyes and I went, motherfucker. Yeah, I saw it. That's what happened. Yeah. That's what happened. And listen, I will say, I have to say this, every single name we've named is a good friend of mine.

Every single name we've named is a good friend of mine. And every single name we named was up front with me. Yeah. But what's crazy is how we can be moved like chess pieces in this business. Puppeteer. We can be puppeteered by agents. And they shouldn't have the power to do that.

But nothing to do with it. Yeah, nothing to do with it. Yeah, nothing to do with it, my friend. I'm gonna start with Tiger Belly. They didn't do shit. They wouldn't help us, remember they wouldn't help us, right? I'll be busted. And now that things are going well, they want to get a piece.

That's what we shouldn't cut it out. I'm, no, and I'll be honest with you. I gotta be really honest with you. I love war. It's your podcast, you can do whatever you want. I stand by everything I said. I stand by everything. I stand by everything I say.

I always, except for the time I made you edit out the CH word. The, do you remember that? It's still the fucking hardest I've laughed. I regret it, but I know that people clip out bad words. But it was so funny. It was so funny. It was the funniest. I wish I could still tell that I have a grace.

But my point is, you're a brain. My brain's everywhere. But my point is, this business is changing. It really is. I'll take Andrew Schultz as an example because he's everywhere. My point is, you know, this business is changing. It really is. I'll take Andrew Schultz as an example because he's killing, I'll take Matt Rife as an example. Well, you said his name, he popped up on that.

But like, you look at Andrew, you look at Matt Rife and there are people that have, Matt Rife has never had a special on anywhere but YouTube. Andrew Schultz has never had a special, if I'm not mistaken, anywhere than YouTube. Andrew Schultz has never had a special life. I'm not mistaken, anywhere than YouTube. Yeah. Andrew Schultz, all but does all his own booking, all his own podcast, all his own everything,

he does it all himself, to think that you'll always be a necessity in someone's life. And I say this out loud about my marriage. Leanne and I have always had a solid marriage, always. But we neglected it for the past. You know, I'll say when the girl, during the pandemic, me touring, me doing the movie,

me going back on tour, the girls getting out of high school, Georgia getting out of high school, getting into college, Ila, and we neglected our marriage. And not bad, like no one did anything deceitful, no one hit anyone, no one raised their voice or anyone. We just weren't paying attention to like each other. And I'm telling you right now,

my wife has made a decision to start dating me again. It's the coolest thing that's ever happened to our relationship is that she has decided to start dating me again. And listen, I have to be very 100% candid. We're on a Montess D'Astra own Leans on this thing. I don't know what the name of it is, but it's like good for ladies going through menopause.

It helps increase there. And maybe it was all fucking stuff going through body, but suffice to say that we're paying attention to our relationship last night. We're in the hot tub until 11 o'clock talking kissing Yeah, let's yesterday. They answered what's so emotional bird? Oh, it's so good. She texted me. I hate it She texted me the other day. I was doing a podcast with Bob Mennery, and she said to me we had she said to me look what you did I don't know. I just think it's so sweet. It's it's what it's it is I gotta be honest with you

How what you know I didn't know, I just think it's so sweet. It's, it's, it is. I gotta be honest with you. Hey pal, what do you know? I didn't mean this, I didn't mean this. This is the craziest fucking podcast I've ever done. I'm thinking about you. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the fuck are you doing right now? No, I'm loving it. I'm just saying, I'm crying because I'm loving it

when like two people are like intentional and find their way back to each other. Like me and you. Yeah, and it's like, it's not like we were ever doing anything disingenuous or living out of integrity. We were just like just kind of doing coexisting and like having fun and still having sex like every now in them. But like I was at doing Bob Menter's podcast and I texted her. I said I'm in the Hollywood. Pete can take my car back. Do you want to get dinner? And

this will make me emotional because it's such a bad-ass mother fucking move. She texted me, she said, just get a hotel room. Let's get room service, the land bed. And we, I was like, I was with one of the most beautiful women in the world at the time, Charlotte McKinney. I was standing next to her when I got that text. That woman was fucking invisible to me, and my dick was getting hard,

and I was like, my fucking wife just tickled me from across the hill and goes, and I was like, fuck, yeah, and I went to that hotel room proud, I went to the sunset tower, I went to the guy up front, I said, I need a hotel room for the night, and he recognized me, I didn't realize what I'm saying. And he's like, huh, I said my wife just texted me, this fucking awesome text, and he's like, I'm a big fan.

I know who land is. Are you fucking serious? And I was like, she's coming over right now. And it was like the coolest shit. But this is my point of insanity, right? This is my point of saying this. Hollywood has to understand that right now, we're co-existing.

All of us are kind of doing our own shit. I mean this respectfully, but like you and Santino could for while these theaters and our agents and managers understand this, could for while these theaters do the same deal. Deals are changing. People are making overall deals with promoters. Deals are changing. Everything's changing. Everything's moving forward. making overall deals with promoters.

Deals are changing, everything's changing, everything's moving forward. And to think that anyone in this fucking world is gonna pay attention to a goddamn thermostat from 10 fucking years ago. Longer, 15. 15 years ago, they need to understand that those people need to go to dinner and work their shit out. Because we'll escape past them in a heartbeat.

In a heartbeat, we will not, I will not, I'll tell you this, I want everyone that I work with to understand. I will not compromise my relationship with Bobby Lee, my relationship, my personal relationship for anyone's ongoing beef. That is my relationship with him is my relationship with him. And it's same with Andrew Schultz, same with Joe Rogan. You know, no one fucks with Joe Rogan like this. It's insane. Everyone needs to understand that they should, that we are a team. Like us comics, we're our friends,

we hang out with each other. We're like brothers, we all grew up together. Look, I only exist. Tiger Belly only exists, bad friends only exist is because you exist, because cigarette exists. Rogan exists. Fucking amen. Whitney Cummings is this.

Amen. That's the only thing. If without you guys, we would just be a small little thing that nobody would listen to you, but because of the family vibe. Well, I have to say this, I have to say this only, and I mean this for real, Bobby, you are an amazing talent.

You are an amazing talent. You have a team around you that is undeniable. Yeah. And so like, and jump, but that, I pay that comment for you. Like, something's burning was only able to come back because you were my first guest. And we got two million views out the gate. And everyone's like, how do we get all something's burning?

So like, we all scratch each other's back and help each other out. And it's insane to me to think that there would be someone in this business that thinks they're more important than the talent. That they could get in between friendships and negotiate friendships or allow friends to get, it's just a little crazy to me.

I'll tell you right now, that shit doesn't have a rogan. I don't know, I've never given rogans a number to a soul. No one, you get publicists and they're like, we got a lot of big plans, we got a lot of big plans. When you get on Rogan. Yeah, but he's done Corleon, he's the godfather. He's got a father. No one fucks with him.

You know? He's also, he doesn't need them. I don't even know if he is an agent, Joe. Does he? He is an agent, he has an agent. He has a manager. He's got fucking, but I know he's, he's got manager Jeff though, is legit and has been with him since the beginning. Jeff, you want to take a second and celebrate him on the fucker that knows how to fucking

do it. He signs two people, Kevin James and Joe Rogan. I know. What the fuck? You can do that. You can do that. Do you know that? Before they were any, and by the way, Rogan had to convince him to sign Kevin James.

He had to be like, trust me, he gets nervous on stage. He's gonna pay off. Yeah, yeah. He did do science two people back in the day when he was like a waiter at the end of the fucking day. Back in the New York, and those are the two that he lives off of. So, so, so, and fucking incredible, dude.

Let's just say shout out, I won't say anyone's business to anyone, but Joe Rogan takes care of the people he works with. Oh, yeah, he's the best. He, man, he's the reason I tip, the way I tip. I never tip like that. I was so stingy with tipping. Really, how much would he tip? A five bucks, five bucks.

No, no, like, oh, no, like I'm saying, like, to a, if I bought a drink, five bucks. Okay. Like, if I got a, if I got a card of the airport, maybe ten bucks, I was, I was, I didn't have money. Yeah. And then Rogan one time, and I say this respectfully, I never want to speak for anyone,

and because sometimes I'm always drinking, I never remember my stories. We got paid like, do you remember when you used to get like, do like, triple E, show me, pay like 1500 bucks or something? Yeah, incredible. Like crazy money, but you paid like, through the nose.

You'd do both of them, you'd walk with like, $3,000 in your pocket in cash and, and, uh, Rogan would be like, yo, that's not your money. I was like, what? He's like, pay it back, give it the fuck, you don't need $3,000. Come on, tip everyone out, tip it, go around, tip everyone out.

He just walked through and just peel off hundos on everyone cause Joe did it. Joe's a fucking generous dude. Joe's a generous dude and he started this path that we're all on. May I say something? Please. I've been in trouble a couple of times in,

in, you know, me and, and I don't talk to Joe that often, but every time I've been in trouble, he's the first one to reach out. He's the first one to go, you know, what can I do? This is what you need to do. This and that, you know, me and,

and I just, without those calls, I would probably have freaked out. But he's just like been my rock. And also, me and Andrew Santino did a Christmas show in the main room. We did two sold out shows. Every single dime was to the door staff. And we do that because Rogan started that kind of shit.

Rogan just was like, he just was like, you don't need that money. Or, he just was like, you don't need that money. Or, you know, like, I don't know. It's, he's been a very selfless dude and I, I've only surrounded myself with some pretty bad ass comics. I mean, I really only fuck with like the best comics in the world, in my opinion. Yeah.

And so I, I kind of always try to learn from other people and hope that I'm keeping up, you know? And that's what's so cool. And I gotta celebrate. Should all be in one agency. That would solve everything. Here's the deal, here's the deal. We saw everyone.

Wait, you know, by the way, agents are shaking their boots right now. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. We all just signed with one promoter. Oh yeah. Oh, fuck, dog. What does that even mean?

What was that, what are you talking about? I don't know. I'm like right now my agent's shaking in their boots. Because I know the deal I have. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Here's the problem, when you do things, here I will say this can't be. I don't forget what we were talking about. I don't even know. Yeah, this has been a great out, this is an interesting podcast.

It is interesting, yeah. Is there a very interesting thing? It can be Frankenstein, it's Frankenstein. Well, Frankenstein. I will tell you, I will tell you if this is edited correctly. Yeah. If we do this right, yeah.

It'll be a big podcast. Yeah, I know. I'll say, because there's so much, the moment I've had in this I Never had podcasting. I had it one time I had it one time and it was an already drug me It was the realest moment I've ever had where all the sudden everything washes over you is truth and Then they'll clip that out they'll clip that out and they'll make it a meme of like, when you find out your chicks cheating on you.

And then you'll see it in my face, it was real. Yeah. But yeah, if we, there's, I mean, listen man, the game's changing so fucking much. I know. You know, I never looked at, I was never dawning in the industry. Okay, good.

And so, adversely, I had to come up with other ways to get to pay the bills. Like, I had to come up, I had to create my own career. It's not sexy. No one's like proud of it. Everyone just thinks you're thirsty and hungry and it's not like sexy. I wish I could have the career that like,

I don't know the right name to say, but it looks like they don't care. Tom, Tom looks like he doesn't care. Tom who? don't care. Tom, Tom looks like he doesn't care. Tom who? Sugara. No. He looks like he doesn't care. He does care.

I know he does. We know he does. But when you look from the outside, if you look at me and Tom, next to each other, it's chill. Yeah, Tom's like, whatever, I don't care. And then me, I go like, I'm always like, come on man, hey, let's have an idea. But that's just the way I operate.

And I say this because I can say whatever I want about Tom, because he's have an idea. Let's do the, but that's just the way I operate because, and I say this because I can say whatever I want about Tom, because he's my best friend, but like Tom got industry acceptance earlier, way earlier than me. He got on Netflix, he got a special, a special popped. He started doing theaters and I still had to hustle.

I'm, by the way, I'm also like five, seven years older than Tom, so I'm like, I still was hustling. So like I look at things very differently and I'll take chances that other comedians won't take. Like, perfect example, fully loaded. I wanted to do fully loaded only because I never got to do the CIA one. CIA had oddball.

And all right. I like it very much. And so I'll tell you a story I've told it before, but it's really important on why I started fully loaded. Is I got an offer from CIA to do fully loaded or live nation. I think live nation and CIA did it together. My offer was oddball, oddball, oddball. And the offer was $2,000 a week. I had to pay for flights and hotel.

Oh my god. You got to be fucking kidding me. I was I was I jumped through a hoop to get it because I needed it. I wanted it. It was it was it was a hoop to get it, because I needed it. I wanted it. It was, it was, it was very important. Other people were making a lot more money. And when Tom, and then one day they called and they said,

yeah, we don't, we don't want, we don't want you anymore. And they just fired me. You didn't do any, you didn't do any? I didn't do any, I didn't, they, and I canceled my whole fall. Oh my God. I canceled my whole fall so I could do like 12 of them or 12 days. Yeah, yeah. And I couldn't my whole fall. Oh my god. I canceled my whole fall so I could do like 12 of them or 12 days. Yeah, yeah.

And I couldn't do any of them. And then Tom called me and he said, uh, hey, what's happening? What happened with you? Are you not gonna be doing any oddball? And I said, no, they fucking canceled me. And he's like, fuck. He's like, that's kind of suck.

And I was like, I mean, it does suck, but I mean, it's not like, it's not, it's just, I'm just gonna be home. Yeah. I was like, I know, but all the money, and I went, well, it's really only like, wasn't that much money, it was only two grand a week, and he was like two grand a week. I know.

And I go, why, what did you get paid? And he froze, and he was like, I don't wanna tell you. Because I did it with Tom. Yeah. And when you say two grand a week, I'm like, what the fuck? I was getting totally insane.

I was getting totally fucked, but now I gotta be fair. I wasn't a name. I wasn't as big as you, fluffy, Tom, spastic, and name. It's all these big names. And Tom said to me, I don't wanna tell you what I'm making, so I'm afraid it'll affect our relationship, our friendship.

And I had to sit and figure out if I could be cool with this information. And I was like, I was like, okay. And in my head, I thought, I had to sit and figure out if I could be cool with this information. And I was like, okay, and in my head, I thought, I don't know what he's making, but it's gotta be like 10 grand a week or something. And I said, okay, I'm cool, what is it? I said, I promise I'm not gonna have a reaction, it's cool.

And he goes, I was making 20 grand a show. And I went, and I realized where I was in the business. And I realized that I would probably never get to do an oddball that I would never get there. And I but I but I was cool with it. But it was like it's really cool to understand where you stand in the packing order of things. Where you stand and go. All right. So that's real right now. That's very real. And so I said, okay, cool. And I decided at that moment, I was gonna take control of my career. And I was gonna, and I got fired from travel channel

that week, I a lot of stuff happened. But I said, I'm gonna take control of my career, and I'm gonna make things happen for me. I don't care how it looks to other people. I'm gonna make things happen. It's not happening. It's just like the same guy, this driving his truck and building fucking walls every day,

that decides one day, I don't wanna build walls anymore, man. I wanna be the contractor. I wanna be doing fucking, fucking heating the contractor. I wanna be doing fucking, fucking heating and air. I wanna be doing something bigger. I wanna do fucking side and glass doors. Like, it's no different than deciding you wanna take a step up and go all fucking do it.

And I started doing it. And obviously, I mean, everyone's following my career. I sold some tickets, I had a Netflix special, which I would argue. I only got because there's a fucking badass dude in Canada, the work border control, the stop Robbie Praugh. Said, what are you doing here? Robbie Praugh said,

I'm doing a special for Netflix and he goes, you're doing one with a machine and Robbie Praugh goes, no, and the guy closes his passport and goes, we're not getting into this country until you do one with the machine. Robbie, I need one of those guys for it. Yeah, no shit, it's just luck. It's just fucking luck.

Like the Korea Border Patrol or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just luck. I know my point though is that, but here, that's all that said though. But that's why I started fully-loathing. But with all that said though,

okay, listen to me my friend. Yeah. Okay. Did I ever get into new faces in Montreal? I'll show you a thousand times. I never got. Five years ago, it was the first time I ever was even invited to really Montreal. Hey, hey, hey.

Me too. I know, but can I say something? At the end of the people they choose, they never make it. They some do. Some of them do. Some do. But, but, I know, but I understand that,

but like, but still, if you look at what they bring 16 new faces to Montreal every year, and only maybe one, right? My point though is, is that we, I know, but my point is that still, we were able to survive. And we're survivors. Listen to this, listen to it.

Like I keep thinking, who's a survivor? Let me ask you some, you, just say me. Oh, all right. Let me say it again. Let me say it again. Who's a survivor? Hang on, hang on, let me say this, because I can't say it like you.

I didn't grow up, I, because I look at, what do I grow up with? No, but I grew up with privilege. Like I grew up with like, Me too, I had a cruncher club. I know, but no, but you had a Korean dad who beat you. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like I didn't have that.

Like I look at like Donnell, he didn't grow up with privilege, you know, like, maybe like, I don't know, I just look at it like, I grew up like a regular fucking household. Like I played baseball, my dad went to my games, my mom was there, my parents were married. Like I went to a private high school. Like I got a car when I was 16.

Like I was, like, my parents paid for college. I was there for seven years. Like I don't feel like, I don't feel like I'm a survivor like Oprah. Like I saw the color purple. I'm not a survivor, okay. Like I'm just a bachelor. I would have to argue though,

but I have to argue though, that the pains of early stand up, it's so hard. They define you, they define you. It's so hard to anybody. Even if you grew up in an Ivy League, nice house or you grew up in urban environment, that was rough and whatever, still the business treats everyone the same. Yeah. And it's fucking harsh. It's business. And some people get, some people get a smoother path in this.

You're right. They do. And by the way, I gotta be dead on to you. I look up to them, those guys that like feel comfortable in the room in 32, and they're like, like Amy Schumer, look, Amy Schumer, I was telling someone in the car, that I was telling we were driving, and I go, Amy Schumer is, and I know this isn't like a popular thing, so I know this isn't like a popular thing because I know she polarizes people with her politics,

but she has always been funny as fuck. She's funny in the room, and she's been confident as fuck her whole life. She's the kind of person that would get offered a road gig to feature from like a tell, and would turn it down to a tell and be like, nah, I'll take 3000 a week, and he'd be like, I'm okay. And you'd be like, nah, I'll take 3000 a week and he'd be like, okay.

And you'd be like, how the fuck did you do that? She has been like that her whole life. There are people that are born like that and then there's people like me and you who are like just happy to be there and feel like they're always getting fucked over and the thing in their head is like, is like people talking shit about me

and then, so I can be honest with you, they are, they are. They are. They are. They fucking are. This is gonna be a good They are. They are. I know that. They fucking are. This is gonna be a good podcast I've ever done. I'm gonna listen to this podcast in therapy with my therapist.

Yeah. I swear to God. But to go back is like, I'm at a pace where I go, I'm not gonna wait for shit ever again. Like I won't wait for anything. And if I, if I bruise some Hollywood egos, not fans, we're not talking about fans, but if I bruise Hollywood egos along the way

where I go like, yeah, I'm gonna do my own festival. I'm gonna do my own festival, and I'm gonna get seven tour buses, a couple private jets, I'm gonna get 26 comics, I'm gonna take them on the road, I'm gonna pay everyone handsomely, and I'm not gonna make any money. Well, I'm not doing it for the cash grab. There's no cash grab in this. Mm-hmm for me. It's about the fucking party

The hang that I wanted to have an oddball. Yeah, is I wanted to be with you guys. I wanted to do it That's all about it's a Bobby. It's the only reason I'm doing it. It's not profitable Taxi you know how much I offer you what are you doing? I offered everyone fucking tons of money like it's not profitable for me it's about five weeks in the summer right at the hangout my friends and party that's it that's it that's it we will make money I'm sure will make money but not like if I just went on tour

yeah are you dipping? yeah oh my god this is the greatest podcast ever been why why how long have you been dipping? Oh, while? Do you dip? I did Do you do what do you do you see dip you dip is that Copenhagen? and then Have some power. Oh my god. I have no parts. No patches in here. Why? What's up? If I here's what I want

We're the same if I if I get into a bad spot, right? Like with like, drugs now called. And I'm in a room, no furniture, drapes are open, they're blowing in. And I'm at my end, or I'm not answering the phone, no one can get me. Send in Bobby. Send in Bobby with all your goodies.

I have so many. And just let me know that you can work me into society. Yeah. Because you are. Goody goody. You are treat central. I do it. You are rewards central. Goody goody. You're talking. That's my new podcast. If I ever want goody goody goody. Yeah. That. I love it. Let me see it. Which one? You see? Old school. Long cut though. I don't want the little one. When it's scrummed up. I love the, that's the one I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Did you start dipping when you played baseball? What? Did you start dipping? I can't, I can't hear you right now. I'm in a fucking place. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What did you start dipping? Can I tell you, can I tell you what I tell you can I show you what I do? Oh, I some more here Oh my god This I am yeah so addicted

Like so I gotta be that honest with you. Yeah What would you he's in his place. Can I have it back? I mean, I feel like a, see he's stealing it. Oh, this is it. This is it. This is it. Yeah.

Can I tell you, I can't put it in my lap. I swear I never put it in my lap again. That's why I never put it in my lap again. But if I just put my tongue in it, do it. It tastes it. It tastes it. Oh.

Oh, my God, I love it, dude. I'm gonna calm dude fuck. Oh sexy great, huh? I know I know It's so fucking good so good. It's you don't you guys know what we're talking about It's so fucking good. It's so good. It's so good. So you don't you guys don't know what we're talking about It's so good the flavor the intensity you get a little bit of buzz. It's so good. Yeah Maybe I'll start dipping again. No, no, no, no, no So what do you want to plug? Because we've got forever here, but um, what do you want to plug anything? You could two are coming out.

You're going tomorrow, right? You're leaving tomorrow for fully loaded up. Yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow too for me and Andrew. Where you guys going? Forest Hills, music PA. Yeah, pull up the dates. That would be great. Thank you.

Forest Hills, CFG, Bank Arena in Baltimore, music PA, the New Hampshire, then we're in Baltimore this week too. No, yeah. Wait, come in and do radio with me. We should, I should catch you go what town in the wind because we're in Baltimore this week. Yeah, then we go Trevor City, Fort Wayne,

keeps scrolling, St. Louis, Lincoln, Huntsville, New Orleans, Memphis, that's Mark Norman's on those, Salt Lake City, Oklahoma City, Las Vegas, Boyz, Idaho, and we're closing out of the gorge. We've sold out the gorge, everybody.

I think they're actually, I think we're opening up seats because I think it's 70,000. Woo! But we've sold out the gorge, it's not 70,000. I think we're like 15, but it's gonna be huge, it's gonna be beautiful, it's all outdoors, it's all fun. And I gotta be honest with Bobby, I will always give you offers, brother.

I love you to death. I'm gonna say something right now, dude. I'm gonna say something crazy in front of you right now. Mm-hmm. I'll do a guest spot in the Vegas one, July 12th. You don't have to pay me. Bobby, you give me a guest. He's 100% in right now, just so you know.

Yeah, you wanna get right now. You don't have to pay me. I'll fly my way right now, just so you know. Yeah, you want to get right now. You don't have to pay me, I'll fly my way out. I just don't want to do a guess spot. Bobby, I would love to have you as a guess spot. But if I fly over there and I can't get in and all that stuff, that'll be a war. That'll be a war that you can't have. Hey listen, let me tell you something.

Yeah, yeah. You know, you know that I'm your friend, Ryder Die. Okay. I am your friend. We have a lot of similarities. We have a lot of the inner-same inner dialogue. We have a lot of the same, a lot of our same, we're identical people. We're very sensitive. And I am always there for you.

I would love to have you in Vegas. I would love to have you in Vegas. And if need be, I can fly you out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna go. Because I want to go to Vegas. And if need be, I can fly you out. I can't jump. I can't take care of all. I'm gonna go. Because I want to go to Vegas, I like gambling. Well, Bobby, I will take care of you. I'm gonna go better at Blackjack.

You'll see. You'll see. Yeah, yeah. I've been playing on the wrong. I don't believe that I'm going in. I'm killing it. I beat everyone on the board. And maybe we'll go roll like shopping.

I'm rolling. I've never had a watch. He doesn't. Never. Can I can I see who else is on like 12 on Vegas? It's a Tino. Oh, wow. Stop. Well, Lewis Black, Big Jerox and Ralph Barbosa, Maddie Smith, Siphon Sounds, Carter Cruz. Yeah, I got I got to do that. Come out. I got to do that. Well, go roll.

Like I'll go play some top golf. How's it going to be in town for a couple days or not? We're just we'll be here. Well Bobby. Here's the interesting thing. We get in Monday. We're there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and I think we leave Thursday to go. So we're there for the work me and my team is there for the week. Okay, and I think Santino and Lewis Black and I are gonna put try to go play golf. Of course they get. Yeah, but gambling Bobby. I'm in. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. Anyway, it sounds like a commitment, right? I think it's a commitment. Anyway, let's do this. Like, if you imagine someone said, you say I love you to me, okay? I love you. I love you. I love you.

I will give birth pressure right on the blog. That was a great answer. you