TigerBelly - Best of 2017

Episode Date: December 29, 2017

The Best of TigerBelly in 2017, except for all the rest. Video available on Youtube. https://youtu.be/2_jvpJgvT9k 0:01 - Episode 77: The Slept King 1:36 - Episode 108: Steebee James & The Waffle 3:33 - Episode 73: Steve Lee is Mr. Pringles 12:33 - Episode 98: Erik Griffin & The One Up 14:48 - Episode 110: Jo Koy is on Tiger Duty 18:02 - Episode 97: Ari Shaffir & The Chocolate Bar 22:01 - Episode 78: Twenty Five Percent 28:15 - Episode 86: Al Madrigal is Out Bossman 35:14 - Episode 84: David So, the Human Grenade 50:54 - Episode 80: Chris D'Elian and Toki the Dumdum 57:14 - Episode 100: A Family Affair 1:25:29 - Episode 105: Pauly Shore & The Chinese Baby 1:27:53 - Episode 85: Jordan Peele is our GOAT See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Yo, dog, I'm here baby, baby. Yo, yo, man, I'm no longer Billy in this house. Who you are? Yo, you know, you heard about the woke king. What's the woke king? You've heard about the woke king? Yeah, everyone knows about the woke king. That means you woke. No, I ain't woke. You are. I'm slept king. Oh Shit, I don't know if you know this or not, but I am the slept king. I'll tell you why. I don't know what's going on I'm not awakened to or aware of what's going on and yet. I know everything All right, I don't I sleep. I don't know anything better yet Yeah, a slept king is somebody who is not aware of anything, but has the most to say

That's why that's I don't like the way you said it It sounds ignorant Hello, Tiger Belly. This is Nin from Melbourne, Australia And I've been sent For some questions to answer for the slept kingdom and it is my duty to answer these. So here we go. My favorite guest is Stevie Weeby, of course, everyone loves him. They're brothers. And as Bobby said, best friends Can I just say this too when I went out before you came when you were in the living room Yeah, and I was doing the dick dance with my pants down

Yeah, why would you say something about my penis? Steve said hey Bob do it again. I think it's shrink a shrinking Do you think so? Wow, those are fighting words, bro fighting words dog He asked what we asked Bobby to four times It looks like a bird piece of beef jerky There's more hair than there is I'm scared. It's just a bush of hair. It's like a bush of hair

Oh, you're making my sense. You're making my sense Oh my god. It's literally the size of a piggy Oh god. Oh, you're gonna make me die. I don't know what happened to you, brother You're gonna start working out and you're gonna have to start doing something You got to start working out. I'm worried about you. I'm so worried He's worried about me Oh stop stop stop stop stop I think his bush is just really long

Like he hasn't he hasn't He doesn't shave you don't shave it I used to shave remember He doesn't do that anymore That's some good stuff I need a break. Oh god that was my side sort of hurting. Oh fuck We're all friends not around I was sick of masturbating with just Vaseline

Because I was just masturbating with Vaseline and I would you know paper towel Yeah, yeah, okay, and so I looked up on um youtube or google um Well, I looked this up. I said I looked up homemade, uh pocket pussy Oh, you're the arson craft during your break out Yeah, definitely Okay, so what I found out is you could take simple household supplies and make uh Kind of like a fee fee like uh just a pocket tell me how from beginning to end It works good surprisingly. How does it become a vacuum though? I'll show you

I won't show you but we'll break it down. Yeah, break it down for a while. Let me just say this before anything Okay, what happened that night? Well, I'll tell you okay. Okay. You go Bob. Yeah, check this out What you think you're gonna see like You know a cool soccer footage of something or you know what I mean or a fail, you know You don't think you're gonna see an instructional manual on how to make a fucking homemade pocket pussy No, they do so we saw so we saw it And then what did we see? um, so what you need is uh two sponges

What kind soft or the scrub part? Oh the soft ones. Yeah, yeah cleaning. Yeah the cleaning sponges They sell four packs at walmart. Yeah, um rubber bands And then simple just like plastic uh like grocery store, uh, you know like the bags to stuff it in the Pringles Not regular plastic bags. Yeah, just regular plastic plastic bags. Yeah, you forgot the most important part. Oh Latex gloves. Yes. There we go. When you get the vagina. That's the vagina That's your vagina. So you'd line it with a label. So what happens is um Well, we were at walmart and we bought two Pringles and what what the what what stops us. All right, okay

Okay This is something that I would never do on my own Okay, yeah, it's like a brother. It's something that that's not a brother thing. That's not bonding. That's not bonding even bonding All right, what's that? That's not fucking bonding. It was fun, dude. It was fun. It was fun. It was it was it was it was fun because it was I'm telling you walmart trip late night. Go get the gloves. Go get the gloves. Where do you get gloves? You have me that whole thing. You wouldn't even walk around walmart with me. I had to do it separate

Yeah, yeah, dude. I just yeah, you go to get everything. I'll meet you. I'll meet you over here So he has two um Pringle You know the what you call them? Cups? Cans? Yeah, I can. It was a long time. Uh, I think I got sour the onion and then just the normal there was like a new Yeah, yeah, the brown I got salt and I got salt and vinegar I think maybe that was the mimic me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, salt and vagina and also um We it went to waste because we didn't even eat the difference. No, we we actually walked outside of walmart looked around

And then and then I just I just dumped him. I couldn't wait till you got home. No He was afraid his main fear was like my mom discovering well here So So what you do is this? Okay, can I say rubber bands? Yeah, you just said rubber bands What you do is you take the two sponges. Okay You take the glove. Okay. Okay. So you sandwich the two stumps of sponges On the glove

No No, no, you the the two sponges are like this. Yeah, and then the glove goes in the middle. Yeah, you sandwich it You sandwich it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I fucking said. Okay. So what's touching your penis has to be the glove, right? Yes, yes, because it's on the inside of the of the sponges the sponges are like the glove opening, right? You you wrap it, right? So you sandwich it, but then you wrap It around the um the two sponges. Yeah, so it holds in place And then outside Um outside the Pringles the top of it and then you just rubber band it so it stays in place

Yeah, so it kind of like it just does that kind of motion Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then um, you have two sponges. We had a little arts and crafts session upstairs Did you try it or did you try it mine felt great? Did you got one too? You made one too? I had two but there was two, but it was all bigger. Listen, listen, listen. His broke Mine's broke. Mine broke because a big dick Bobby. No, it's not that. I did it too aggressively. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I mean he got mad because mine I got the pink sponges and mine looked more like a real yeah, and I got a green one Like a green one and a blue one. That would make sense. You're trying to mimic my pussy Yeah, me fungus, so yeah

Yeah, and so what what what I found through oh, we we we forgot the lotion we bought we'll forget the lotion Fuck the lotion. Okay. What I found is that you have to kind of rubber band The top that like the top entrance part. Yeah really tight because mine busted open I don't understand how the rubber band works. What do you mean? Okay, if you're lining it you're lining the inside of the can with a sponge and then the inside of that is the glove Right. Where does the rubber band actually go? Well, this is Bob discovered this. He modified also Bobby The one that's been doing all this No, the next night the next night he goes dude. I got it

He's like Steve dude. You're like Steve. That's what life's about. I got it. I got it. And he's like because we had to re Uh redo it. Yeah, so he modified it. So before we even put it in the Pringles can he uh rubber band It all together The sponges is um the sponges with the latex glove. Oh, so it sticks together So it's a tighter Vaginal because if you don't put the rubber band around there, then imagine it's like your dick will open it up And it just becomes like that's it. You know, yeah, poor pussy. Oh Yeah, poor pussy poor. Oh, yeah

But like so I put it, you know, I put tighten it They tightened it. Yeah, I tried it a second time just to see babe. Don't get angry. This is amazing. I get to see Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, my theory work. I kind of want you guys to make it I know we should actually you should have brought it. Yeah, dude. The thing is is this it's easy to make it the first night And I hid mine during the day My brother just leaves it out. I go, what if mom walks up there? No, I hid it like on the side of the bed and oh you did hide Yeah, well, I thought like you left it out. No way. No. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No So you guys each have your little canned pussies

And then who tries it first you or have we didn't do send the room same room I know but like Hey, brother, let's do it together. At what point did you guys convene and then say, hey, like did it work for you? The next morning or the next morning the next day and did you to completion did it work? Dude, we said good morning. Yeah. No, you say you don't talk about it Right when you wake up. Yeah, no, no, no. You have coffee. Yeah, later. Later. Later. Like a couple hours later Awkwardly I turned to him. I go, did you do it? He goes, yeah, it works so good, Bob

Mm-hmm. I got mine busted open. So, yeah, well, this is my trick is I don't know if you I don't know tricks. Well, it is like my um, my style was um, I didn't use Um, I didn't use lotion Vaseline So I took Vaseline. You didn't tell me about that. I didn't know see that work. That's why you should tell me that I thought I did. Did you go dry, baby? No, we bought Jurgans, we had like Vaseline. You know how I do it. Yeah, we bought like Yeah, I bought five or six different kinds. So my question is, is this a one-time use pocket pussy?

Or do you not inside and how do you clean it? Oh, you just take the latex glove out and then discard it Oh, so you can reapply? You can remake one. It was a 50 glove package. Yeah, we bought a 50 pack. Oh, shit. Yeah, I don't use it 50 pussies. Yeah, we kind of made 50 if we wanted to. Yeah. Yeah, we wanted to, yeah But anyway, um, we did that while my dad was downstairs dying Jesus guys, you know, so it's a weird way to put it though. Yeah, but that's the thing I hear that sadness does cause people to be hypersexual though. Yeah, you think so? You've made a homemade pocket pussy with Pringles. I know. I mean, there has to be a name for the both of you Yeah, like actually, you know what Pringles should give us money. Yeah. Well, we didn't eat it. That's the problem

They didn't eat the product. We didn't eat the product. No, they can't eat your dick. It wasn't the other way around We ate the, we used the vessel. It comes in, you know, so I feel like they could make money off of it anyways Maybe shout out to Pringles. Oh, yeah, they could. No, they can't. Steve, they can't. All right I've been working it that way. Oh, yeah. No, they can't They're not gonna have two Korean guys on their fucking can. They have Pringles The new face of Pringles is a big billboard of you guys. Yeah With like Pringles on your dick. With the pocket pussy. Like, you know how like, um, Anthony Kitas with the socks On your dick, but then Pringles and then just piles of Pringles on back of us because we don't eat them. We don't eat them

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi Tiger Belly. It's Dorothy. All right. Best of 2017. Um, favorite guest FATLANDO aka Eric Griffin. Everything that you guys are talking about fucking hilarious. You guys are talking about weddings talking about Steve Amazing Five, four, three, two, one Why are you talking like that? Hey man, bro, I'm singing a song in the beginning Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't interrupt me until I fucking introduce you, man We got Calyla my beautiful Calyla my beautiful fucking island queen

From the mud rivers of for the Philippines We've got um, does the Philippines have mud river? We got two dimensional face Gilbert can't see me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If he goes to the side, he disappears Oh god, this is like a line. Is that a lot? The brown line? You're a great character on Charlie Brown. We got um, we have right here Richard Ramirez. He's back. He's back. Night Stalker's back Night Stalker. I actually don't like how he's in the closet. I know And we got uh, he's accomplished. There's a girl in there just like I accomplished George Kimol. That's just how you pronounce it

And um, we got um, a very special because we've had him before this. I think this is the first time we've used No, we've used ossa a couple of times, but this is his um, fat lando I'm not gonna clap there. There's a new movie called. You already clapped. That's Star Wars and he's fat lando and um Oh, I'm fat lando. There's gonna be Fat Cloud City. You're fat Yoda, bitch. That's who you are Oh, yeah, you can't even get on loose guy loose guy working like If I get how about we walk together, bro, it's good. It's good. It's good. I asked for it. I asked for it

Yeah, um, so we got Eric Griffin back and uh, he's on a new television program called. I'm dying up here And it's on showtime and uh, and my special comes out July 7. Well, no, we're gonna do that. Fuck dude. I'm sorry Well, I don't know. Don't you can blow out your blood load. It's so unorganized that I'm not sure No, see that's the thing in the chaos structure intern Yeah, yeah This is structure. We were over here. I don't know what we're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? It's an Nathaniel

and favorite moments of 2017 we have to be episode 110. We enjoy koi when uh tiger shit for a sick guy I want to get to that. I want to get to that. No, no, no, no. I did dolphin Tours and then tiger shit dolphin tours in vegas. Yeah, how that's at the fucking first place That was mirage. Yeah, and the mirage you did you did a dolphins I did dolphins and tiger shit. Yeah, it's a mirage. Yeah, you had a shovel. Who's at zikfried and roiz? I had to no, I had to clean seekford's asshole

In order to play with the dolphins. Oh, yeah, he said you Can that you never met him though? Yeah, I did. You didn't meet zikfried? Yeah, seekford always came through roi never came through. All right. Is he nice seekford is so funny because when you look at I don't know if anyone gives a shit that's listening. Yeah But there you do give a shit. They were they do give a fucking shit. They were they were they were Vegas staples. I know You know because you're old You old you're old. Yeah, it's liberace was a fucking vegas staple, bro

But people don't know that people don't know fucking people don't know that uh mark wallberg was fucking marky mark dipshit You call me Anyway, sorry Premium fucking talk show Got a camera man in a god damn closet. Hey, hey, hey, hey man. Hey, you have a camera man in a closet I know All right, I apologize. So anyway, um zikfried and roi they were a big vegas act and they had tigers and shit Right tiger shit one of them got eaten

Which one the one you know the roi that the one that never saw you never met the delicious one The one that everyone yeah, the tigers enjoyed that one. Yeah That's one the intro Were you there when he bit him because zikfried zikfried was the one that petted all the tiger He petted the tiger. Roi was the magician listeners. Here's a fucking lesson to you my friends to tiger pet the fucking tiger Yeah, because if you don't they'll he'll eat your shoulder eat your See that's the part that entertainment tonight didn't say yeah roi wasn't the handler Dude zikfried if I was at that show though. Roi was the magician if I was at that show though

I would have stood up. I would have won. I'm sure I've never seen On court on court on court. Yeah. Wow. How great would that show be? Oh, yeah It's like a show of the year Hey tiger belly. It's michael neal from Bartlett, Illinois The guest of the year has got to be mr. Ari Shaffir um his stories and his history with bobby were fucking hilarious And uh bringing a candy treat for bobby's butthole

Uh has got to be uh the ultimate for me So keep up the great work. Love the shows. Love the youtube stuff and then favorite episode in all On my notes We got oh episode 97 tag belly 97 with irish afia um It was just great. You're seeing Bobby always talking about this deep resentment the fights. We all heard about it so many times

And out of nowhere boom Ari is on there. What the fuck What the fuck? We watch it. Holy shit. It was great to see those two together sneakers in bum bum I've got a mint in my asshole right now as just Salute to that. You know where I liked about you one of the times the old days. Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you go uh to the fridge as a freezer and get the candy bars ahead in there? I put some candy bars

Oh, this is part of the story. It's on the shelf. You had a day where you and stevie I don't even work here. We're putting candy bars up your asshole. Yeah, there's a photo of that. Those are the good old days Yeah, those are the good old days. Yeah, let's get these candy bars out Is that why you bought candy bars? That's why I bought candy bars. I put them in the freezer so they don't break off First of all, I'm on an abc show now. I'm not sticking fake candy bars. Yeah, you are man For old times sake. I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, you're gonna put candy bars in your butt Oh my god I swore to god

I'm not sticking fucking candy bars in my butt. Yeah, you are. No, why would you do this because that's who you are bobby I'm different. This is who you are Oh, you're not hateful anymore. Yeah I'm different. I'm not sticking to candy bars. I'm not saying go all the way. You can try to pull them back How about this? Oh, you know what? I will stick it in my butt. You know why great great. I can edit this thing Hey, sweetie, you can also leave it Strategically, you should go for the twitch. I want to write the twitch baby. All right, please don't put that payday in there All right, I will all right. I'll stick it. You know me. We're editing this part

You're not editing you'll leave it in Oh, I'm not leaving it. You will for sure leave it in because you're a man Oh Maybe I had you wrong. I'll stick a fucking candy bar in my butthole because I never saw it. I guess you never saw you've Heard about it. Well, you know what my Netflix special is out right now Oh my god, Bobby, sweetie careful slowly In I can't I can't yes, you can't I can't I mean asshole at all. That's in the asshole butchik I'm not sticking in let me say what a smell it

You want to smell it? No Let me work at the courage This is so ridiculous No, it smells like chocolate it does smell like chocolate Oh, you have a clean you have a clean book. Hey careful slowly Bobby slowly George. What the fuck? Slowly That's it okay, okay, okay He's shitting it out

That's quick this episode is brought to you by Twix The great taste and shit's out easily. Oh my god. You're shit up at Twix Why couldn't you know? Oh my god, that was amazing. Oh my god I've never been able I've never he's never even allowed a finger of my hair. All right. It's not chocolate enough. It's not chocolate enough Um, let's see what else? Oh When Gilbert threatens to leave tiger belly. I was like, oh fucking really We're on some balls up in here. Very interesting very very different from what you've seen But I mean I've said it once I'll say it again

I like other podcasts when I listen to other podcasts. It's kind of like Like having a co-worker that you really get along with, you know, you guys are cool You go out for drinks your your text buddies You share memes and it's all good. But whenever I listen to tiger belly, it's like it's like going home And chilling with the family chilling with the homies. It's it's amazing. All right. Thank you guys I love you guys. You're the best Goodbye, it's better than you at this. I don't want to ever do this podcast without you You could replace bobby who just told me he wants to replace me sometimes

He would never no, I'll say the names right now the names that are out there. Give me the name. Give me the name. There's nick yusef. Oh Really have fucking emo nixon. You step on this. No way. Yeah, you say I think Gilbert. Look, I love those guys I just want to put it out there. I'm just saying these are things that are set to me I love those guys, but I would never do this Without you. You're my comfort blanket. Let's start our own podcast without bobby because you know what? You know, I would do it without you. See that's what I'm saying. No, he wouldn't If you fucking I'll put it right here. If you say again

Okay, that we can't do this podcast without him that gives him power. No, it's not Take his power away. Of course we can produce. I can be a part of anything. I can work with anybody What I'm saying is I don't want to it's not fun for me without you. I know I'm gonna say this for bobby I'll say this right here. We won't edit this out. Look at me. Look at me right in the eyes I'm okay with leaving this podcast and I so everyone knows I own 25 of this LLC I'll give it all away and I can walk away with this thing without money and I'll be okay with it I just want to put that if you want to I will walk away from it. Oh my god. It's getting so real Why are you getting so emotional right now? No, if you want I can tell you kind of want me out sometimes

Gilbert, no, I would never I would say I'm not I let him let him speak. I want to say I Have been here since day one Right. I have We know how that whole thing started the first eight months how times I've canceled all other things to be here Uh, no questions asked. I just cancel them. Right. Even sometimes I show up late for an audition Right because I'm like we're at 4 a.m. Here. I didn't care But it's I got busier because the podcast helped me listening to your stories helped me with my career I started doing more things. I got busy. I always block out Monday

I tell George I can always meet Wednesday during the day if we cancel it if we don't for the business meetings for the LLC Um, but also I'm okay. If you're like we need someone else I can leave. I'm not that kind of person that's vended it That's going to be like I need money for all the work. I didn't get paid for it. I'll just walk away It's fine. If you want to replace me like you have threatened me in the past He has threatened you. Yes, not in front of me though. Oh, we'd never record it because I would never allow it To make Bobby look bad because I want to make sure he looks good But also he never he never does it in front of me because he knows there'd be an argument

I just want to let you know Gilbert. You told me look your eyes. You're looking you're looking you're looking away You're looking away from me. You told me look in your eyes. I'm giving you the respect as my elder as my as my elder I know I right now We're not editing this I don't want to edit it. All right. I cannot right now Look you in the eyes because I don't know how number one You got into a fucking spat with Kalilah, right? She was only getting emotional And all of a sudden I'm the fucking one

Look how the fuck am I the one listen Bobby look at my eyes. No, I'm not looking at my eyes. I'm so angry with you right now, dude All right, number one. Let's just breathe. This is so funny to George Here's the thing I ain't giving it up. I ain't giving it. You're not giving it 25 percent. I'm gonna come here every Monday night I don't care if you kick me out. I'm gonna be here. I'm gonna knock on the door. I'm gonna sneak in Here's number one. Okay Is is that I feel like now

It's fine that you have a little bit of a pent up resentment Um, right and just I want you to just clearly tell me what your resentment is. He just did bro I did. There's no resentment. So the resentment is no, but no Him threatening I'm gonna play referee because I know Let me say what I want to say. Okay, he's not threatening But he's giving me like now Like how he feels like he could just walk away, but that's not the resentment

that's just his You know what his reaction to the resentment is. Yeah, so the resentment is what? You're you keep planting seeds and you keep dropping little crumbs as if to suggest that he is replaceable You make him feel dispensable. I understand. So for somebody who's bent, you know bent over I'm gonna be honest with you. Gilbert. I thought that last Tuesday was your bad, you know But all the other times that you've ever come through has obviously

Made up for a thousand of those Tuesdays. You know what I mean? You've bent over backwards Time and time again to be here and record this with no pay, right? You do make the mistake of of undoing these underhanded comments of saying that he's easily replaceable And you don't take into consideration that for the past year and a half This has been the easiest thing to do. We get along so well I don't want to fucking sit in front of somebody that isn't Gilbert. It's gonna be awkward I'm gonna start sweating again. The whole process is gonna be painful for me again. I'm gonna be anxious You know, it's not gonna be this is a team

We're all in this 25 of the pie and no one is fucking going anywhere and you need to start appreciating each other But yeah, if someone if we think someone made a mistake or wasn't clear with communicating We need to be able to say that out loud right now I'm having broke icon. I know you have it because you Look at each other, please. I look at him. I look at him. I'm gonna scream at him You taught me scream at me. Look at him. Sweetie. You taught me this Yeah, so I go I yes, I'm you're my prefer peripheral. Okay. I can see you're looking like literally so close to my yeah I'm just gonna here's what I'm gonna do. I look at you right now. Here's what I'm gonna do. All right

I'm gonna I'm going to absorb What you just said to me, okay And I'm going to Analyze You know and try to be adult about it. Okay And I'm gonna look at my own behavior on my side of the street See where I went wrong

My favorite moment from 2017 was episode 86 when al madrigal was talking about his mother-in-law But he introduced me and my wife. So me and my wife, uh, half korean, uh, christin madrigal Yeah, he's the best you see you were saying earlier that you were having some mother-in-law issues Yeah, I got korean mother-in-law to go along with it. And so I had no idea what that was going to be like And it's the best, right? It is one of the craziest fucking things This korean mother-in-law I got If anyone has any tips, please write me like I figured it out. I think I figured it out. So I didn't know the first dinner that we had

We go to brother's korean restaurant. It's on gearie in six and gearie in san francisco It's a big it's probably san francisco's best korean restaurant At the time And she looks at a waitress and she goes this is a shrimp dish. You call this shrimp you take it back right now and put some shrimp in it Damn Yeah, so I guess my mother somebody told me this and I didn't even know this word existed But they said my mother-in-law has way too much han She does in the blood. It's a better deeply. She is fired up and she's 50 years of oppression by the japanese

Yeah, so she goes Basically got in a big fight with me. So she went to our new house and went in I was dumb about this and She bought maybe 10 boxes of Kleenex and she walked around every room and she put a box of Kleenex out in every fucking room. So I walk into My kitchen I go hey, what the fuck is with all the Kleenex And I just took a box of Kleenex and I just tucked it away like put it just it doesn't need to be out

Todd glass has that great bit about you think you live in a nice house. Is your dish soap out? Because you look at architectural digest. They don't have dish soaps out. They don't have like this So I just like you know, we live in this nice house And uh, I I got the Kleenex out. I just tuck it away. It's right there. It's accessible All you do is open a little thing. Boom. You got all the Kleenex you want. Well, uh, didn't talk to me for a year No shit, yeah The first time I thought I could fuck with her. She knows what I do. I do and then her christian's brother lee I think you meant

is Still living in san francisco is single at the time And I go hey, you know why Lee lives in san francisco, right? He doesn't have a girlfriend. I'm gonna put it together. You know, he's super gay. Yeah Yeah, and uh, he's not But he has a girlfriend He's actually engaged and he's got a baby on the way and he was never gay But I just think we'll mess with her. I should laugh and I then I was oh, I'm okay to just

Joke around with her. Right. So then we got korean food. This all happened in the course of a weekend She didn't talk to me. When did this? Okay, so This is the next thing would happen. Well, how when was that? Kleenex is most more recent um Thing before that was maybe in 2013 2012 So she comes over we go to hk super over in glendale, which is korean sort of deli and you can get all the boogogi and all that stuff And so you get it all and you cook it and all the pork and everything and cook it up

So she made rice and we got all the sides and everything and then she goes How do you like the boogogi and I go this boogogi? Is the best I've ever tasted this is really the best So, um, she wide-eyed because she makes it her own And I knew what I was just messing with her a little bit. Yeah, and I go it's really the best I've ever tasted this Yeah, I know a total dick move And then we're driving I drive her to a hotel because our house is packed like there's a family event. That's why they're there and

I take her over to old town pasadena. She goes. I want to go shopping And I know exactly what you want. She wants to go to k-town But I go, oh, it's a good thing you want to go shopping because there's all the shopping right here old town pasadena He just walked up. They got everything. They got your pottery barns and your crating barrels. There's a gap Yeah, all this shopping you need. Yeah, and she goes out. You know what I mean Want to go? I'd never have done this in my act ever because I can't maybe you can help me with that I can never talk about that's dead on the korean what you're doing. That's your korean accent? Ow, you know what I mean? You know what I mean?

Ow, great. So she goes, uh, I want to go to korea town And I go, well You're acting so best. I'm so fucking crazy. I'm going to korea town. I'm going to go korea town. What is that? What is that? Ow, ow, ow. That one going to korea town. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's how she sounds to me. So I said, you know about that I go, Kristen doesn't want to take you to korea town Because Kristen doesn't really like Koreans Jesus This is a half korean woman. That's where you fucked up. That's where you write the prescription

So my brother-in-law is in the front steeped, hunched over laughing because I'm doing it all in a straight face And she's just in the back like So then my father-in-law is laughing like everybody thinks it's funny And I go, I'm kidding. She'll take you whenever you want, you know, just storms out of the car And then Did she was actually mad at you about that? Oh, wait, there's one more. This all happened in the course of like a day

So these three bits And then we're in my kitchen And she goes, I go, when are you going to move? She lives in Vegas in this neighborhood that she shouldn't be living in anymore And I go, when are you going to move out of the neighborhood? You got to move to a better neighborhood And she goes, what's wrong with the neighborhood? I go, well, there's a lot of Mexicans

There's a lot of Mexicans And we all know how you feel about Mexicans And then she turns to Christian and she goes, what did you tell him? Like, right It was real, yeah But I've done so much that then I realized and she didn't talk to me for two years after that What? Yeah

And do you ever like tell Christian like, what's your mom? And I apologize and I go, you know, I'm just kidding. I'm a comedian. I just joke around You know how much I love you. You're my only mother-in-law You're the best Then I bought her a Macy's Like I bought her a Macy's outfit Yeah, that's it Good one

I sent her to Korea All Expenses Pay Wow Korea All Expenses Pay Back in Oh, but then Kleenex happened after that So I was back out after Kleenex And now I'm One of my favorite moments of Tiger Valley in 2017

Was when Bobby and David so were acting like the gay dads to Khalilah And how Bobby described David as the key maker and How Bobby was the executive at Enterprise Rental What are we gonna say though? So I have an alter ego that I gave my dog My dog's name's Gobi, but her alter ego is a stripper named Trina Michelle Whoa, okay From Corpus Christi, she moved to Atlanta

Because that's where it's a hub of like sugaring and being a stripper, right? So I call her Trina Michelle and I'm like Trina Michelle, you gotta pack your horror bag, blah blah blah And he's in the room and he's losing his mind Because he's like, my daughter is not a stripper Like losing his mind about it So we got into the discussion of what you would do If your daughter is in 1920

And she's like, you know what dad, I'm not gonna stop college I'm gonna continue Like being an exhibitionist, I'd like the acrobatic nature of it I'm gonna be a stripper And he lost his fucking mind over it Nah That's my answer Nah

If I have a daughter, she ain't gonna be a stripper You're so old school Open your mind I wanna be able to like If my daughter is a performance artist I wanna support Okay, let's suppose this We're gonna go

If my girlfriend is a My daughter is a stripper We're all gonna go watch her perform You guys are gay dads and you adopted me Okay I'm 19, I'm 20 Me and David are gay Yeah, you're gay dads and you adopted me

So we've watched Beauty and the Beast together Can I just say this? Then I have to be the bottom Wait, you have to be the bottom? You have to be the top You can't know he'll crush you Oh yeah, I have to be the top You have to be the bottom

But he'll still be a power bottom You got the butt cheeks David, what are you doing? We do 69 standing up But he's lifting me And he has my ankles And he's sucking me up like that Thank you for paving the way

Thank you for paving the way Thank you for paving the highway Okay, so you guys are gay dads Can't believe what No, he wanted to try No, listen I don't wanna do that But I wanna just see if that would work

With the clothes on I don't think I had the upper body strength though Oh That's a good excuse I told you The vest hides everything You have upper body, don't lie I saw you about that new workout

You're on this new weight loss thing Yeah, but that's all legs Create an apparatus Where I'm like, chain my ankles and butt side down He really wants to try this I just wanna see if that would work But going to beauty is gay Anyways, that's my point, you guys are gay dads

You adopted me, okay? You adopted me This is my speech to you dads Dad and dad I graduated valedictorian from Look at his face Every time in these scenarios It's like, this person has to be

The highest pinnacle of human being You know what I mean? I'm gonna be the stripper But I cured cancer What the fuck does this happen? Can we just bring it down? You're not valedictorian Let's play the scene out then So remember, David

Just visualize We've been together for Describe the sex scenes We've been together for 20 years We've must have fucked You and I 80,000 times I see it as high But you've also never stepped foot in a strip club

Because obviously you're both gay But you and I have really eaten everything Of each other But we love each other too In this scenario And this is our daughter, we love our daughter What's going on with your face right now? Because at this point, if that's true

I don't give a fuck what she does I've eaten ass every day What the fuck do I care? No, but in our private life Nobody in the world knows that When we close doors We're shirt-tuckers What?

No, we take takeer, we have button-ups We tuck it into our pants, we have belts We go to where we have briefcases We go to work I'm an executive at Enterprise Rental Executive? What is David?

David is a what? No, he's a key maker He's like a locksmith What in the world is a key maker? But he has his own business Because he came into my business years ago He came to your heart In the early 80s

I walked in, I was confused We met each other We have regular jobs You guys are thinking too much about the relationship Let's go back to the stripper, please No, no, no, no I need backstories I need backstories

Let him build it And we met in the early 80s And obviously we're gay So we adopt this beautiful baby This girl And we level with our hearts We take it to Disneyland It takes it to Disneyland

We're a stripper, you're it now We actually created a thing You and I bought a real doll What? We got a real doll and we filled the titty With milk So she could have real breast milk So I could have a mother experience

We really go out of our way And at night We tuck our little baby into the little cradle And then we go to our room Bobby, what happens in the room? What happens in the room? We lock the door Just in case the baby crawls

I need you to stop the story Because I can already smell the room and it smells terrible The visuals are bringing a smell It's a four hour fuck fest All the baby hears it says Ka, ka, ka Ka, ka, ka Like that

Right And then the alarm clock goes up We turn on our shirts We tuck in our pants Bye sweetie And we go to work So now we raise this kid Private school

Listen, private school And She's the lover of our lives And at 19 She comes to us and this is what she says I know I told you guys That I was planning on going to med school I still plan on it

But I have this side of me That's just very exhibitionist I love I've been a gymnast my whole life I love dance, I love you We used to love coming to you You showed me all those musicals Sweetie, remember?

I do remember Can I? I'm going to be my own character I'm a Korean fob now Of course Yeah I love your little accent baby Of course

What if that's the only thing he says? Let it keep going Keep talking So anyway Dad, I really respect you guys And I have a lot of respect for my body But I just really I just really want to be a stripper

And I want to see what that life's about I want to make extra money And I think that with my sex appeal And with my sexual openness Stop That's fine You can do whatever you want with your life But

I pay for your cell phone I can pay for that myself if I start stripping Of course Yeah Hold on sweetie Hey, can you go eat my butthole in the room real quick? I don't know No

Of course Of course There's a tear dripping from his eye Yeah Of course We're not paying for medical school You're not doing that Why not?

Because we provide you with all the money You're going to medical school You're not doing that I'm a showman We'll then become a dancer You can go to class We'll take you to class Any kind of class that you want

If you want to do a live show But I like the seediness of the strip club I like that atmosphere At this point There's nothing I can do for you baby Go live your life And don't call home Can I put my real dad at home?

Yeah For me it would be okay It's a little unfair for you to spring it up on us Like that out of nowhere You didn't have a conversation with me about this Previously your favorite father And I personally think that's really offensive And on top of that if you want to live your life however the hell you want

Then you can do it without taking money from us Now if you want to follow our rules Then of course we can support you I will always love you But you are now a whore I'm not selling my body for sex So I just want to dance that Daddy I just want to dance

You can dance all you want bitch You can do it with your clothes What the fuck does that have to do with it now? Daddy's angry Daddy daddy I've seen you guys Be a certain way you guys have been nudist your whole life We're not nudists we've closed the door Behind closed doors it doesn't matter

We are cloaked God can't even see us Daddy you break my heart I'm a good father I eat ass all day I don't share cup with you At all every time I drink I never share the cup with you Yeah Okay what if

And also just in this scenario Once a year We have a special In this scenario once a year We have a special night on our anniversary Gilbert's comes over And we do it three way Hey guys

What that voice Hey Uncle Gil What are you doing here I'll be honest about the fuck your day Of course Okay So what if I didn't want to be a stripper but at 17 I'm like

I want to sell my virginity online And I want to give the money to Amnesty International I want to give it to charity What charity is this Amnesty International Get the fuck out of here The sex world

I also kind of just say this You would never if with us as your parents You would never even think about because you'd know us You would know what our reaction would be And why is our stripper daughter so stupid I was adopted you don't know what's in my DNA Stupidity You think that stripping is a

Genetic I mean a DNA thing I mean I think that there are people women who are hypersexual And they really want to perform in that way I'm gonna say you don't have to No The content of showmanship And being a stripper and dancer What if she wants to parlay that into a

Business down the road where she's teaching lessons To like suburbia white women How much money do you want to do this right now I can't even fucking Clack my heels properly How much money are you making though Off this business Off the business or me as a stripper

Off the whole business altogether Let's say I take home okay cash Okay 120k a year Of course then go ahead have a good drink That's accordion way Money over morals Alright how about this would you You're a

Let's say you're really hot Would you That's all it is is lap dances and stripping No it down the road I really like the performance Aspect of it I want to parlay it Into an a business where I can Teach women in a suburb You can strip okay but you can strip

As long as you don't fuck Yes I'm not Into prostitution Or porn No porn I just want to dance daddy You could dance with your clothes on is all I'm saying What I'm thinking right now is that I just don't like

People objectifying you in that Type of way and I think that if you could use This versus this it's a lot more Impressive you could do whatever you want behind doors I'm completely okay with that and I'll love you no matter What but if you become a stripper and we're walking In a grocery store I might ignore you Daddy but I have an argument to that

What if to a certain degree I like being objectified What if I enjoy That voyeur aspect when people are watching Me and looking at me just beyond I don't want to intellectualize this I want to be a woman with tits and ass That's moving around and a man salivating over me It empowers me daddy

That's so unfair that I have such a dumb daughter Life is so unfair for us Sweetie I love you as a partner Don't forget me I told you to change the box So you can do it Wow

She has sexual things No no no it's not me I often think about how I would approach it If I had a daughter What would you do? I'd be really torn because I want to empower her I swear to fucking god I know you Koala

There is no way that you would agree to what I know you The reason why you didn't do it The reason why you didn't do it is because you know your mom I was a swimmer And your mom I look at Asa She's at the top of her game

She's intelligent She's just the best at what she does I love Asa but dude have you seen her videos? But she enjoys it She had two dicks coming out of her ears But she loves it I love Asa I love Asa

We did our podcast early on I love her as a person She's family I want to share a water bottle with her I'm just torn by it When she talks about it She's always been a hypersexual person And she's always enjoyed

I know so how can you take away If it bothers you but doesn't bother her Why is it something to I think But we're allowed to be bothered by it It's like you have your own choice to choose what you want to do I'm allowed to be bothered by it as well So I'm glad that if my daughter did

Talk to me about it that's dope But once again you sprung it on to me out of nowhere I could have helped you out If you wanted to start a business we could have made money together Now you want to make money by yourself without your parents Bullshit Hey what's up Tiger Belly What's up Bobby Lee, Kalyla

George And the other dude What's up guys So today I started watching it like Earlier this year I want to say like spring Summertime 2017

I think the first episode I watched Was Or one of the first episodes Was When Chris Delia was on And um Yeah I just like I love you guys chemistry

And not like chemistry Getting along but You guys were like going back and forth And kind of arguing But there's still definitely chemistry there Uh I've had friends like that so I thought that was really funny Um

So yeah that's probably my favorite guest Was Chris Delia That's what you are and this is the thing And this is what it is about you Deep down you just disrespect Is that what you're saying? You're saying that in public? You're a very nice person

Exactly and that's all it is And you know what you're loyal and you're a good guy Those are good things But under all that you're just a disrespectful person Yeah And maybe it's only 25% disrespectful But there's still some in there too You know can I say what you are?

Deep down you're a nice guy Good face Deep down Right all that But you're a fucking softy inside You know what dude? That's fine Maybe that's what makes me so

That's fine I heard what you said There's no fighting Here's another thing I want to ask you There's things about me that you don't like Because you brought it up in the last year a couple of times So let's just get you know what I think this is a good time period

Right Bryce? He was looking up there I thought there was a fucking TV A fucking TV I swear to god he's literally just like this Were you looking up there like that with your back arched He's not even laughing Are you sleeping?

Anyway I think this is a good time baby Get it off our chest why not Go ahead Bro first of all There's a few things You don't text back That's not okay dude

Everyone here is nodding I need a pen No I got a pen And I know Wait text back Go ahead What are you going to do with this by the way I have rebuttals

I want to get the list out You don't text back When we go to a diner You just eat and then you're done and you leave And I don't like that It's for hanging out dude You go to a diner to eat and that's not cool Go ahead

Number three Is What was the other one What? Is that when I see you in public I get the comedy I don't get into conversation It's fine that we don't get into a conversation But you just

Sometimes you just walk by And you say hey to some other people Like Kevin Christie or whoever With your friends with and I love Kevin But then you won't say hi to me Don't say hi Well you'll think of it in a second Let me give you some rebuttals

When we're at a diner sometimes You'll be like ah and you'll start playing your games And that's not for that That's not for that Someone is speaking on my behalf This is really good Those are good I love you

I love you I love you But can I please Text back Number one Communication with your phone For me is a lifeline To the world

Just listen to what I'm saying I know you're doing your eyes and they're baggy right now Baggy I know you have baggy eyes right now I can't fix that dude Your texts are like this Bra Bra Zep Zep Wait is that for real

I'm not even kidding they're kind of like that He spells Sort of thing What you're doing Hey Cha All that shit that you do right So I'm 45 And I'm in the car

I get a text from Chris I spend minutes Going I don't want to respond to this Why did you say private So I just kind of let it go So If you were to do something Like hey dude I went to the hospital

And I got some bad news Let me tell you something right now No Let me tell you something right now I'd be the first one to text you back I know dude but let me ask you a question Why Why would you be the first one

Because I love you so much I think What it is You secretly want to get in good with God And that's not cool You understand what I'm saying I think you want secret points With whoever you think is the higher power

You just fucking made me so angry right now What you just said Hello Tiger Belly my name is Michael I'm from the Dallas Fort Worth area I just wanted to say thank you guys For an amazing year of podcasts Us fans We love you guys

You're hilarious And it's really great What you guys do My favorite episode was Of the year was episode 100 Family Affair It had everything it was very High drama

A lot of comedy, sadness Even a little bit of anger I think I think there was some anger in there Also some jealousy Gilbert And even in true Tiger Belly fashion It did not go perfectly with the whole

Phone call fiasco I wish you guys called me by the way My favorite guest of the year Also episode 100 was Jessica When she was going through that whole situation with George I loved how excited Calila was for that

I also loved how Bobby was just Going in on both of them For fucking that up so bad And definitely the funniest moment of the year Was George giving us A play by play Of him not reading anything Accurately

Through that whole Situation You really fucked that up You really fucked that up But yeah, thanks again For an amazing year of podcasts Please come back to DFW Bobby in 2018

Here And it kills me inside So please come back Thanks This is what's happened So over the course of 100 episodes We have nonstop talked about George and his dying love

For Jessica And I think After 100 episodes I think it's time we tie some loose ends And we have some closure regarding George and Jessica So If we can please welcome my best friend, Jessica Yay

Just wait, rock set? Let it play for a second Just a second Oh my god, I love that song so much as a kid George is not a good start for you, my friend You shut the fuck up right now Jessica, welcome Thank you so much

So happy to you Happy to you What I want to say to you Is first of all You're the most Korean person I've ever met in my life I don't think so No, just in terms of how I feel What is that even me?

Because sometimes I want a headbutt on the face But that's just the Korean hello There is a physical Like I want to hurt each other When we see each other Bobby, you're also the most Korean person I know Why? So we got that established

And number two Go Korea And you You You rejected You rejected Pink dick Let's start from the very beginning

Let's talk about how this whole started I love how uncomfortable it is in here Is this for me to talk now? When did you first start When did you start to like Jessica? When did you meet her? When did you meet her? Just a minute

I'm feeling like Warm in my chest Like I'm getting ready to fight somebody Yeah, you're fine Was that one of the fight One of the fight nights here? Don't look at her Don't look at her

Don't look at her Walk us through your memory You're burning a fucking hole in her heart I don't remember the first time meeting her I remember I think she helped me do my hair one night Before a podcast And I think that you actually were

Very uninterested at that time Okay Probably I feel so bad for you right now You didn't notice me right away George You played them games You played them girls I did

I forgot it was Gilbert first Gilbert first You wanted to eat her ass or something He just wanted strictly eating the butt Yeah, I had heard about her beforehand From all the Gilbert podcasts Gilbert wanted to eat her butt Why?

When I look at her, I want a headbutt on her face I don't want to eat her butt For the story Journalistic So George, when did you start feeling feelings? No, we were hanging out With friends for a while Oh, it's so sad

Oh, it's so sad I didn't know The thing is, I thought I was catching a vibe early on But I wasn't sure what I was getting Oh my god So I didn't know I was helping her out With a few work things and stuff

Being nice And you were very helpful So she invited me out to dinner To think for your help Yeah, that's what I... What does this mean? It's probably just dinner as friends But it got the idea in my head

And then we had dinner And I was like, yeah, this was his friends But yeah, we still kept on hanging out a little bit And then I kept on Going on hikes and stuff I enjoy hikes It's not a fight

You went hiking What are you denying? What is your face saying right now? What is your face saying right now? No, I want you to finish your story And then... Well, it seems like Everything I'm saying is wrong according to your face

No, no, no, no Just look at me, don't look at her Look at me, my friend No, no, no, I want him to say it to me No, no, no, Jessica, don't run the fucking gambit I got it I'm so uncomfortable So you're going on hikes with her

The dinner kind of made you go Oh, maybe I think we went on one hike And it was with Gobi Because I needed another person So then when you went on that One hike More times than just that

You guys also went to San Diego together Which you were supposed to go to That's right I feel so Guys, come on This is supposed to be a happy occasion Let me play Roxette No, no, no, no

We're hanging out in a group setting Then the weekend before San Diego Mia Kalyla and Gilbert were in here And Kalyla asked this question Like, hey Throw me in there Go ahead If some girl just

Texted you out of the blue Like, hey Do you want to hook up just to check things out? Would you say yes? And the person in my head Like, when you said this I was like The person who would do that

Probably not somebody I would want to hook up with I didn't have a face So I was like, innocent me And not thinking like, yeah, Kalyla has No other reasons to say this Because she's curious about texting somebody at random I am, yeah, I was So I was like

No, no way, that's weird And then I stepped out of the house I was like, one step out of the house I was like Wait a second If that was Jessica I would probably have said yes And then I was like, was it Jessica?

Do you think that I was asking On behalf of her? As soon as I stepped out of the house I did I planted the seed You did that, yo I did it out of I asked them 10,000 questions a day

Are you a fucking joker? What kind of medieval Fucking diabolical bullshit Here's what I think In the very beginning I met George, I really do respect him so much As do I Yeah, and I wanted

If I had ever Why are you laughing? I'll be honest I did sort of entertain the idea Of them possibly hooking up Because they're both people that I really like And I wouldn't just throw her to somebody That I didn't like

I knew that George was decent And he was kind So yeah, maybe Sometimes I threw George a bone So I was like I never got a sense from her That there was any possibility of anything

So then the next weekend You ditched out on San Diego I went, but I was like Was that question Was that hypothetical for me I was like, I have to man up and just figure out now So then Because she asked that question

And it planted the seed Yes It started growing inside your soul And then you began to have feelings Based on this kind of little fantasy Of maybe, I think Yeah So Kalila did that

The plant growing within your soul Then you go to San Diego Which was the cement, the foundation I think that built the house But you know what The house was built on sand Quick sand Thank you Jenna

Quick sand So you go to San Diego with her And then what did you guys do We went and swam with sharks What a bonding experience Just you and Jessica Well Why do you go into San Diego with a guy

For that you're not feeling You have any feelings for I have a very deep love for sharks To, Kalila was supposed to come I bailed that morning If it was left to Georgia I'd be like, I'm sick I would have gone by myself

And I was going to go by myself But he was like, what's this about this shark thing I was like, I'm going anyway You can come if you want How you said it You can look at the text Oh wow, you saved it You can look at the text

Kim Kardashian over here came over Right So by her Letting you go to San Diego You kind of in your head I'm saying this because I feel like I'm kind of being attacked here We had a good time

Is it an attack to a claim that somebody likes me Is that an insult though girl You might have liked me Oh, don't attack me with those words Oh my god No, no Don't insult me by saying I might have liked you No

It's really hard Calm down From a woman's perspective I'll tell you how it is When we have to deny somebody Not deny or reject somebody Especially if it's someone that we actually like Who's in our friend circle

It becomes very tricky because no matter what We're the bitch, we're the enemy And we're the ones who hurt you So for that whole feeling of Feeling attacked is something I'm very, very familiar with Because everybody, even though we make fun of you George, we do like

Poor George, poor George, poor George She's more like, why poor George I didn't do anything We never had sex, we never made out No, I don't cast any blame Yeah, but here's where she went wrong though You don't invite a guy A single guy to San Diego

Why not? Because of the fact that he might make It wasn't a personal invitation Every guy with a woman Right, wants to fuck the woman Alright I'll put this, I'll put this Alright, I'll go meet

I'll go meet A girlfriend friend at a coffee shop Because they're going through something Whatever, I'll do that But if I was single, but if I'm going to go On the road, not do stand up But if a girl went, I'm going to El Paso Just for the weekend, do you want to go?

I already assume That there's sexuality going on I don't think even George saw it that way Every guy feels that way So you know this He didn't feel that way, ask him now He didn't feel that way when he went there You're saying, because you planted the seed

Right, a week before Right, so the seed is there So basically you're blaming Kalyla For asking you a question That probably might have not even been related The seed has to land on fertile soil For it to grow, so don't So you are fertile

Very fertile, yeah Yeah So you went really as like I'm going to enjoy this time with a girl Who's friendly, you didn't think like, oh sex No, but I like her, he liked her Okay, no He liked her, he had feelings

I don't think at that point You're not listening baby At this point I was like I have to see if I have feelings I have to see if something's there But when you're going to San Diego Whether you got excited Not because you're a shark hunting

Or whatever you guys are doing Whatever you do with the sharks Swimming with sharks But you're excited because You're going to go with a girl that you might like Look at me right now There you go, thank you What the fuck are you having a guy

Going to San Diego with you I'm going with her without him Someone else is coming in the car Korean, you know what you should have said No, I'm going on my own Kalyla's not going I'm not going to go down San Diego with you I don't know you

Because I don't For me, if I'm single And there was a girl That I'm not attracted to Who was just a friend of mine It was like I want to go with you I would just be like Okay

Can I just say something Why is it always The woman's fault Why can't we It's always on us When we accept Some type of invitation My responsibility

I don't know if I'm interested But what's the hurt in that I love how all the guys In this room right now Are not backing pop-up All the men in this room Should be very ashamed of yourselves If I was in the movie 300

No one would show up Then we would be called one Me Can I also ask you a question Let's suppose even at that point In time, even if she had 20% of interest in George And she wanted to explore it

Maybe after San Diego Or maybe a week after that I thought I did, but I didn't want to That's also okay So even at that moment I think there was a little bit of interest Initially I do have a tremendous amount of respect for you

And I felt like No, it's true I was in a very Maybe like a challenging situation About like you really really You came through for her You did, and I was like whoa And it did make me consider like

He would be a clutch ass partner Like in life, because he was just The advice that he was giving Was really It's really rare to find someone That can give advice outside of themselves People can only think like in their own perspective And he I think has this unique

Kind of ability to really So now you're insane But I still think he's great And he is great And not to say that like And he's easy to be around It's not like oh let me take him to San Diego And um

Relax, tea is master No In her defense I had invited her to other things Like other social events Like she had always said no So this was like I want to say this right now You fucking weasel

You fucking worm Alright You go down to San Diego with this one Alright You now you're in San Diego your feelings Right a little bit? That's when you throw a move Oh that's true we got to get a move That's when you throw a fucking move

Listen to me right, right? And if she goes no You never talk to her again What? No you say hi At events and you go You can go oh hey you know what I mean But in terms of you know Distance But that's not what you did huh? Oh no

I did the worst but well If I had done the move What did you do? If I had made the move down there Then that's an awkward car ride back That's true It's the price we pay For taking risks

It did get awkward at the end though didn't it? It did get very awkward No no no what happened was You came on the podcast After San Diego I'm like With a whole drive back I'm like I'm in high school again I'm like come on George man up

Just say something and see if there's anything there And there's the whole time Oh my god And then finally She drops me like parks in front of my house Oh my god So you think there's anything here? That's when you said it

After San Diego I was like downtown LA 10 minutes to my house Let's start the conversation And then it just wheeled over in and out And I I hate myself What happened?

You said something? What did you say? What did you say George? What did you say George? This is another issue Look at me What the fuck did I say? Okay no there was another girl Who would like

Or I was like Let's be manly and let her know That I have other options Oh that's where you belong What options But What are you talking about But when you

Came out of my mouth so weak I was like you idiot I was like last night This other girl She said she wanted to date me Nope She was like Nope

I might have feelings for you So like So you basically told her There's this other girl that's waiting So if you don't give it to me I'm gonna go with the other girl Yeah Jesus George

Wow one point to Jessica I don't even need to be here Jesus George And so we yelled at you On a podcast That's when it hurt Cause she knew The next week

Jessica She was like let me think about it Cause she doesn't want to Take me down so hard Right then So I'm like okay this is inevitable This is gonna happen

And I'm just like cruising through that week Then the next week On the week after Right before the podcast And Bobby's like So you told her about another girl And I was like wait a second Jessica talks to

Kalyla talks to Bobby I do not think of that I don't tell my friends anything What? They're white George has an analogy for me in the car When I was driving him back home I was like how do things with Jessica

No You said this to me I was like I smiled a little bit and said Tell me about this stove I put her on the burner I'm pretty high I lowered it

And I think she might have lowered The burner a little lower That was the day after And then let that gas get bluer Okay I was gonna call you out For making that up from Prairie Home Yes God damn it

You used the stove analogy huh That old classic stove analogy It's very popular in small town Michigan Very popular So then So that was probably my lowest point On Tiger Belly is like to realize The grapevine

If I say anything to Jessica It can get to Bobby and hurt me If I can say anything to anybody It'll get to like I'll admit a lot more things To a lot more people than to you Bobby I'm not gonna like give you any ammunition You don't need any

Oh man Okay So at this point Bobby on the podcast you said George you need to man up and make a move That's what he told you He gave you also the very wrong advice Which is what?

What advice also did you give him Kalyla? I don't remember I might have told him to be more Assertive No you didn't You said like Pump the brakes a little bit He said to be assertive and just go for it

I said pump the brakes And you listen to Bobby Guys listen to me right now Do you pump Do you pump the brakes Or do you go for it Let me ask you something guys In the room

Go for it But she's my best friend Go for it Steve Even if her best friend is like pump the brakes guys You should have listened to the best friend Yes A month goes by he doesn't know No no

I had to go with my psychology We talked about it At this point like if I hadn't made a move I would have just been waiting on her I couldn't go try to date any other girls Because in the back of my mind Like if Jessica even says Gives me a hint of anything

I'll go with her I can't promise Anything to any other women At that moment So I was like okay I don't think Bobby's right here But I'm going to listen to that advice Because I have to know for sure But we had talked about it

But that didn't change my psychology How did you do it George How did you go in Walk us through the disaster You're at the stove right You're at the stove You have the pan out You put the grease in the pan

I relived every other moment And this one was still blocked from my memory Alright so tell me what happened You got a little drunk Well that wasn't on purpose So you're a little drunk That was actually inadvertent I was just hanging out with Bryce

And Bobby's words are ringing in your head Go for it dude You made fun of him like A lot And I still do And I'll never stop No The drinking was completely inadvertent

Because I texted You earlier about like hey Could I drop off some eggs Because I have chickens Which I don't receive anymore But it's okay And you don't fucking deserve them You're right

Like you get eggs Egg frag I get it So I'd inadvertently like I was like Wait until she was home but like 10 or something So like Bryce and I were like We were out drinking at shortstop And then I drive over And I'm like

I am a little drunk This is gonna look bad But I was like Nah I can pretend to not be drunk I can do that So Yeah again I made a We chatted for a little bit

You're at the house So he just texted like you home Yeah And he didn't even tell me he was coming Then he just shows up at the door I don't think so no Did you have eggs? I'd beg to differ with the textual exchange

You had eggs in hand or not Who cares It matters No he just came Like to the door With eggs or not I don't think he had eggs The eggs matter guys

He had eggs that's sad You didn't have eggs when you're drunk at 10pm Or whatever time it was He always shows up with eggs Anyway so you're at the house Right you're drunk And then tell me walk me through what happens We're chatting

She goes outside She's nothing for her car or something And I'm like annoyingly close And then like We sit down on a curb or something And she's just like Giving me nothing Absolutely nothing and I'm like well

You know what If I tried to kiss her right now She would like really like that I'm sure That's what I was missing out on Like really like I was like yeah she What happened is she didn't get to kiss me That's why she rejected me earlier

If she had that opportunity Things would be so different And then I leaned in Like my breath raking of beer And just got soundly rejected With like a why are you doing that Wow Were you like miss me with that shit

You said what What are you doing You said that Jess Talk into the mic Jess I wouldn't be surprised if that's what I said Because As he said I was giving him nothing And I didn't know that this was going through your head

But he was sitting there He was a little close and I was like Maybe he's trying And I don't know But we were just sitting like next to each other Side by side and all of a sudden I think I see his arm come around like Like this and he kind of

Like he rushed me a little bit And I was like So I did one of these She did one of the miss me Oh you did a miss move And then you And then you said what are you doing And then what do you say

I don't remember I blocked the rest of this from my memory I just I can't believe you didn't kill yourself Oh my god I wouldn't be able to live through that But he did That's what makes you a man

I was depressed for a week Your psychology is like very It's very interesting I'd like to wrap this up with a few Hard hitting questions here Jessica from the bottom of your heart The most honest I considered it

Did you consider having sex with him Oh Not Oh god it's so sad everything about it Okay on a scale of 1 to 10 10 being the most consideration Is just yes or no George Kimmel for your consideration

Not even on the nominees Did you wonder about his dick size Yeah but I'm curious about everybody That's true And so after the rejection You went home Woke up the next day And you knew it was done

And then I watched Breaking Bad For a week straight and I finally caught up on Breaking Bad How depressed were you For a week pretty damn depressed Okay one final question Before we wrap this up guys Sorry What

It's not your fault it's no one's fault It was just one final question George I'm so glad it happened Do you Yeah I got to finish Breaking Bad I hadn't finished it before I needed to be depressed When you see her around Now do you still

Have lingering feelings It's as simple as yes or no George Oh no You're answering it too slow We got to put this to bed It's good to bed come on No just say no Oh my god

Question did you ever consider me a little bit Jessica looking me for real though Gilbert I love you I love you so much You love me Thank you Jessica That was amazingly uncomfortable Thank you Jessica and George

That was amazing Another notable moment This year was when Gilbert Gives George that high five In episode 100 that really awkward High five I rewound that shit so many times Helped us out

For breaking my heart George high five right there High five All the stories you've ever told me of Paulie I always assume that there was like A hint of racism But you're actually an honorary Asian You are because he always tells me

I saw him at the spa he calls me Chinese So I'm always like huh No I'm obsessed Exactly but that's the realization That I just came to I was at a sushi bar last night in Silver Lake And the Asian guys that work there know That I'm obsessed with Asians

Those two Asian kids walk in They started laughing because they know I can't control myself Chinese baby baby Like in the fucking restaurant No I realize that now That it's like an actual love Pepper beef

It's an obsession And it helped me Imagine me being a young comic It totally helped me out Because he thinks I'm funny but he's also obsessed with me I love the Asians I like going through airports And the ones that wear surgical masks

Those are the ones I like to touch They're real Chinese You touch them? What why are you just a random person You don't know you touch them? I know I just kind of I don't know I love it They're all robots anyways

All the hordes of Chinese people with a mask They're robots When I see him at the spa I always talk to him I think I know I think I'm speaking Asian But I'll say things like I just say that

Just fog horn noises That should be my alarm clock in the morning I'll wake right up Chinese baby I know It's really tough Just do it to him Do you fetishize over Asian women

Sexually or not Which is weird You have a real love for them In not in a sexual way You've never dated one So it's not even a fetish then Paulie When I was a kid

When I was 18 I dated a girl in school Her name was Melissa Paul And she was part Asian She was adopted But in your adult life you've never dated an Asian So they just give you the warm fuzzies I just think they're funny looking But not him

He's not funny looking He's giving me from my mother My grandmother, my friends in New York So I went through a dark Period Where I didn't know what to do But

What my brain ended up Doing was Thinking of it like A fucking villain A superhero So what do you do You outsmart them All these fuckers

That fucked me Are gonna wish they hadn't in the end See Let me see something right now We all have that I call it the hate box And I have a chest in my heart And I can tell you the names

I don't give a fuck But I'm not going to That's fine I don't give a fuck He's not number one But he's in there There's a couple of other producers Anybody in your box is in my box

That's the way it works So what you do is you put the name Or the situation in that box And you close it But what happens is Those names in your heart They grow in the chest And you haven't opened it

And when you open it It's now a full blown creature Okay So you had a fucking box I had a box I was in this zone of Turning it into glee And I was like

Oh I was into it and I started Writing My goal was to become A great writer If I can't be in Because I can't be in this show I can't stand to be in it

I can't be in the other one So what do I do The dream is Becoming An auteur A director There's all kinds of I got monkey paw productions

That's you It's Horror It's sci-fi It's dark It's comedy And I landed on this This mission

That is so satisfying to me Of all of us underrepresented people And what if What if the shit That we have always been told We can't be in What if we start doing shit That's better than the others

So that's what I'm going to do So I will Probably never Have a white protagonist I love white people My mom's wife My wife's white There's enough of those

What the fuck So in many ways In many ways That was a good thing Best thing that's happened in my life Besides meeting Chelsea If you're listening right now And you're going through some

Fucking you were raped Or whatever it might be You got run over I was on mad tv That was my thing That was too harsh Whatever it might be Give me another shot at it

I was getting paid money To be honest Making me look like I'm complaining I'm complaining at all Whatever you're going through your life You lost your job at Right And you can't make ends meet

And then Your Frog and it dies It's not done And then you get raped Whatever you're going through Let me say something You can spin it into a fucking positive

And that's the lesson that we learned today That's the lesson we learned today That's amazing Hello Tiger Belly This is Nin from Melbourne Australia And I've been sent For some questions to answer For the slept kingdom

And it is my duty to answer these So here we go My favourite guest is Stevie Weeby Of course everyone loves him They're brothers and as Bobby said Best friends No one can have a better short

So I love him Thank God for the Stevie Weeby podcast Shout out George Dude making it happen Funniest moment Sum up in three words By the time Beautiful episode 118

That was in And then favourite Episode in all On my notes We got Episode 97 With Ari Shafia It was just great

You're seeing Bobby always talking about this deep resentment The fights We all heard about it so many times And out of nowhere boom Ari is on there What the fuck We watch it

It was great to see those two together Snickers in Bumbum I've got a mint in my asshole right now I'm good to that But you know Target belly has changed my life Target belly has changed my life Everyday I wake up

Watch him, watch Bobby The crew, Gilbert, Kalyla, George Shout out Bryce as well I don't know what the fuck he does No one knows what he does But he's making a sign happen So keep doing what you're doing guys Blow off

Shout out Gobi as well Yeah guys Shout out Sup Kingdom Hey Prime members You can listen to Target belly Ad Free on Amazon music Download the Amazon music app today

Or you can listen Ad Free with Wondry Plus In Apple Podcast Before you go tell us about yourself By completing a short survey Visit www.gobi.com.com