TigerBelly - Bonus Belly: Andrew Santino hits the Nail With The Nail

Episode Date: November 10, 2019

Bobby penis tucks through the vortex. Khalyla wants the thrill of the muffin top. Andrew calls the CDC. We talk miracles of science, sacred briefcases, the world's funniest people, and The Bob Cannes Film Festival.Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Yeah, well, let's talk about that but okay, let's look at the words that we can elevate we got um, let's just start there Yeah, welcome to Tiger Belly. Let's start there. Okay. Okay, so we have all of the all the racial Terms we have we have also adjectives Adjectives make a ratio Asian terms much funner which ones well instead of saying Gook you say pan-faced Gook. Oh, right. Yeah add extra flavors to it. You elevate it. You elevate it. You know what I mean?

Are any of them offensive to you? I'll be honest with you. No, not even a little bit now. We're all gooks pan-faced doubt it That's also that's true. Yeah, you don't want to generalize some of them have some good shape who? Gilbert Gilbert does Gilbert is good between me and John I want to do an experiment John honestly every time I see him I know don't don't don't don't say it because I don't want to hurt us and the Joker just came out But I think about it when I see him every time I'm like I'm always nice

I always smile at him because I think one day on the way out. He's gonna be like nice seeing you and I'm like Seeing you I get so nervous John Oh, he's the scariest guy on planet Earth. He scares me so fucking much the last couple months I need him around I kept saying yeah, they go whoo I go the dark shadow the dark yellow shadow The untrusty worthy one he's got that sweaty hat thing or that hats been it's got the sweat marks from like fucking three four five years of

Like sadness and loneliness. Yeah, you know that hat. You know where that sweat comes from eating in your car alone And those are the same hats that if you see any Godzilla movie. Yeah a little kid Right with that stupid style of hat the floppy right and you can't get that at normal stores You have to go to like, you know gooks or us. Yeah, you're me or a Chinkware, you know me 2019 or whatever Where do you get your clothes cuz I want to go there? Oh, we'll we'll create a line of clothing for him That would sell really well. Yeah, you see hats like that. What else? Greasy greasy hats and and and and the same pair of shoes his whole life

Right Like he wore those when he was Yeah, he's nut sacks. I've never seen him, but they seem like to me. Yeah, that there is Chernobyl hair. Yeah on the sack where it's Smooth like he went through chemotherapy, but then there's a chunk of wild. Yeah, yeah, right, right But they're sporadic patches what looks sick patches, right and barely working like 16 hairs coming out of one pore Yeah, that's exactly right. That's right. That's right. That's right No, that's good, no, no, you're okay

Eric Griffin and my brother Steve called Kalilah last week. Oh my god. Now you're going to Just throw me out. I'm gonna go right in the mic right here I'm not supposed to be relaying this information back to you. You fucked up. You did babe to you my brother, I love you and I coddled you in my in my womb and I will take care for you for the rest of your fucking life because Without you, there is no me, but what's your fucking mouth? Fat fat big black black black black night nice guy

You know when it's dark at night and you look up at the sky is endless big black black black black sky, right, I Only think of You know what I've seen that when I look in the sky. Yeah gigantic glasses I when I look at the sky, I see floating gigantic glasses the size of nine satellites. Oh, come on, Bobby I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. You know, if you look at my text thread on my phone's not here He's um, what did he say? What did he say to Lila? I want to know what he said to Kalyla. What did he say to you? He said something or or

Where's the I probably was at the comedy store and he must have been acting You know a little off because both Eric and his brother asked me like, hey, is he okay? That's all he said. It's all I know my brother got in my car He goes Bob. How you been doing this that guy? Mm-hmm, and I go I created a portal and that freaked him out This portal, what do you mean? Like he what he I'm gonna say something to you right now Andrew And please don't make fun of me. I won't because I want to be vulnerable in front of you

Okay, let me hold on then hold on. Thank you. Thank you. I know cuz this is real just hold on and I know how you get so get in that space Okay, I'm good. I had to laugh something out I had to think about I thought about something I thought about your fake finger. I honestly had to think about your fake finger real fast Why because I had to laugh that out because maybe if you were gonna say something vulnerable And I saw your fake finger flash in front of your face. I would have fucking lost it Show people that you put on a fake. I Put a fake finger because my fingernail fell off and it looks real And if I was a magician you wouldn't notice okay, so okay, tell me now. It's gone

Okay, so here we go. I said to my brother I go. I'm good. I I created a portal and Goes Bob. What is that? I think oh, and I don't know if I believe this or not, but I think I do you do I Was in Portland at the helium. Yep. You like that room? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah fun. Yeah, I was completely naked On stage on stage But I was early show early show late show both But the second show I Stood up there and I took my dick between my legs. Yeah typical. Yeah stood on the stool, right? And the place is standing ovation

Yes, and I stood there talked And I did this for three minutes as a closer as a closer without even saying anything Completely naked like this on the stool like this and the place was the the you could feel the walls Like that shaking shaking and this has never happened before but I felt like there was a black hole I created the energy vortex created a black hole and that now do I believe that that happened? No, but I told that to Steve and As he when I dropped him off he called he got nervous. Yeah, he's he's gonna go into a portal I'm worried about climbing he's a big thing. He's gonna cheat things. There's portals. What did you say? I?

Said no, it's just classic messiah complex He thinks he's a god easy. That's easy Do you not think that's true? Do you not think that that's true when Carlos Mencia? One day he comes to April Like what's up? He goes hey, dude my comedy save lives, bro. Oh, oh your comedy saves lives. Oh Carlos. Yeah What happened this is that you? Carlos is that you hey bro. Hey, bro. I'm gonna tell you what happened, bro

It was a guy in a coma, bro You're doing you're doing so way too much Jolo. He doesn't talk like that. He's a coma, bro Yeah, but I'm doing it that way for the story. Okay. Okay. You're doing like Jesus Trejo Doing a character of Carlos Mencia. That's impressive normal normal voice. Yeah normal. He goes. Hey, bro No, I'll just do it on his normal boy my normal voice. Do your normal voice characters apparently. No, no, you can't Hey, that's close Go ahead. What did he say? Hey, man, uh, there was a guy in a coma. I got you guys He was in coma for a while. I got huh and he goes his sister

We'll put on Girls would see it Which album though? Which one really saved lives? Well, I know which one Paul Mooney's one. Can I show you kidding? Can I show you a clip? Can I show you a clip? Can everybody see a clip at home? Oh, is it a men's music clip? Yeah, somebody shared this with me. Yeah, but he's a friend of mine So I know I just want to show this. I just want to show this is a this is a clip. We love you, man I just want to show this clip. He posted this. I thought this was funny. Yeah, yeah

I have an audio I That's it Wait, is it just jumped That was so mean just hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that is so So fucking hosted that who did he did Ned. Yes. Yeah. Yes, but not with all the stuff cut out That is the very video from his Instagram. I thought someone was trolling. He did that. Oh, he he Really the funniest thing he's posted it was very funny. Yeah, I don't know if he was being okay, so that's real

Yeah, okay, I Have to talk to him. I think I don't I don't know him. I didn't know if that was a you've never met him never met him ever No, a guy that I'm friends with and him have a weird history Yeah, this guy Joe Rogan Who's that they have a weird I don't know the whole story? I Don't know the whole story But what I was told is This is just me. This is what I hear say here. I've been told

Carlos I've been told Carlos and Joe. Yeah, we're hanging out. Yeah, Joe and Carlos have extremely similar briefcases They went to dinner and like in a movie Carlos took Joe's briefcase and walked home with it and And used the contents inside like it was his own Everything inside the briefcase calculator every cow calculator pencils notepads clothes clothes

and Joe called him out on saying you stole my briefcase and Everyone got so mad because people hold briefcases pretty sacred That's what happened That's what I was told I love the specifics of it, but I was clear but can I tell you something? I know nothing about it. Can I tell you something when you were saying that? Yeah, it's funny because One day. Well, here's the crazy part. Hold on Somebody else's oh Other people so that's what the dilemma was. Yeah. Yeah a lot of other people's briefcases

Hmm. Anyway, but Ned told me when you were saying that mm-hmm. He goes dude. I'm gonna do the cat. Yeah, do that I'm gonna fucking do it. Do the accent. Hey, dude. Hey, dude Yeah, I go. What's up? You go forget. I mean, I feel like I'm making fun of my fate making fun of the guy No, he's your friend. Yeah, but it's like already as it is Hey, what have we talked about before comedians make fun of each other if comedians can't take a joke Why would why are you a comedian? Yeah, but um Is it mean what you're about to say?

It's not just that it's mean is just because of the just the whole Direction of what we're talking about and it's something the reason why I haven't asked Ned to be on the show because because when all that went down Mm-hmm between Rogan and Ned the briefcase. I was the briefcase incident. I was in the middle of it And what were you and what what in terms of like the videos when Brian Redband put out a video? I remember you remember that with me saying that he did steal jokes. I didn't know there was a camera on me And what do you say? I just said yeah, he stole a joke. He stole a joke of me. I was just kidding kind of Right. I was just you know how you talk

In front of comedy with you. There's no camera. You just start you staying saying shit He didn't want to at that time. He didn't want to bite the hand that fed him for so long That's right. You don't want to pick sides Well, Carlos Messiah gave him a car when he was an up-and-coming comic gave him a job gave him a lot of things I wouldn't have an agent without him. I met that Matt Blake through Ned He did a lot of good things for you bought me a car now. Do you still talk to him? I do text him back his wife texts me last way. That's the funniest thing you that is such a Bobby Did you hear that? He was I do text him back. That's a big deal for me. I trust me

I fucking know you don't initiate that means you texted that means you respond sometimes to him So every time either him or Amy call texts me. I respond to that There's only one other person he responds to besides me and I guess Ned is call banks from Interpol No, I know of course you would and you know what I do too, you know, Paul when he texts me in the middle of the night I always answer do you know Paul only through through through internet? Yeah We're internet buds, but he did text me about 2 30 in the morning and guess what? What do you run run run run run run run run run about Chicago? I'm happy about you. Don't don't attack every day

My city don't attack my city. I don't attack fucking. I don't attack Orange County, San Diego Are they the same place? But have you ever seen me in a melee? Defend San Diego you talk like it's a you talk like it's a part of your life It's got the fifth best weather on planet earth. That's a what are the first four? The first one of the first four probably somewhere along the equator. You didn't know I knew Geography not no no closer to the equator is hotter way harder. Yeah, you would hate that. Yes, you're wrong. There. I love above the above the

Mediterranean is Do you want to just ask Kalyla where the best four places are and then she'll do it tell where the four places, babe I'm guessing somewhere Right in line with California. So anywhere of like the Mediterranean climates, right? Yeah. Yeah, sunny four of those places Okay, I hate it when Aristotle gives notes direction. No, so I want to know what he just said What is it Aristotle? What is the direction notes? Okay, you know, um, do you want to know what he really said? It's not only that. I know what you know I'll tell you tell me

It's not working he said wise He goes can he get out of the shot He's taking up a lot of space back there But no, why don't you just get an iMac so you could cover up his whole fucking face? Why a Mac book just get an iMac What you fix it in post fix it in post but um You know how I feel about all right, Bobby, do you think you're one of the funniest people on earth? I'm being genuine. Do you really think you're one of the funniest people on earth in the top? What five?

Do you think you're one of the funniest people on earth the top 10,000? Yes, that's it Don't be annoying on planet earth and that's ever lived. I feel like I'm in the top 10,000 Of all the funny people that you know I had two dudes that were probably very funny. No, first of all all most if not all the funny people are in either the United States or in Parts of Europe and that's got to be almost it as far as professional comedians goes. Okay, but in terms of natural instinct of being funny That's a natural you think you're one of the best come stand-up comedians of right now. Do you think you're one of the best? I think that no, you don't think so. No, but I do believe that I There is I know what I do and I know what I serve and I know that I'm that I'm relevant in that way

So, you know, you're one of the most beloved comedians right now. I know that in culture right now Culture are you your fucking mind in comedy culture? Do you want me to blow up your spot right now and tell you this is your second house You have two houses right now. That is true. Okay, so don't even fucking try it. Oh Man, he got you. He did get me Gilbert, but so because you're because you're very beloved and you know that you're good Go ahead Why don't you want to put out a comedy special? Oh, that's what it is. That's great. You thought about that, huh? Very clever. Why don't you want to put out a comedy special?

I'm gonna be that's a I'm literally gonna have to do the next the thing that I did last time see if you can recreate it I'm gonna have to create recreate what I did last time. What I'll give you an example. Oh, you'll see what you see I don't want you to copy whatever you did before. Oh It's very good. I want it to be organ. It's a powerful presentation. Okay. Let me give it a shot. Let me show a visual guy I'm a visual guy. Thank you. This is me Okay, that's me similar size. Yeah Funny round soft, especially when it gets hot you get even softer

But when I'm okay, I don't know nice. It's called wild violet No, imagine me this okay now now watch watch watch. Just watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch right No, no, we're not right. You're not right. Right. You're wrong. Oh wait, what's the pen for? That's why you can't do a special that's right It makes perfect sense Honestly, I Say no more with your interpretation Andrew What's my interpretation of what you just saw?

The more Bobby takes on the more he just falls to pieces The more that's on you the more you just and just shit the bed. No with the point I wanted to make is that if you did if you did ever do a special would you take your clothes off? No Why do you do it now then to kill time? You genuinely do you pull out your penis? Because you're like that's it. I've got nothing left But could I say this no no my openers, huh? Ask any my openers. I don't I don't talk to your owners

That's fine No, sir. I don't know who opens for you, but um my closing bit. Hmm. It destroys The penis tuck go through the vortex Yeah Yeah, so the dick tuck get on the stool go through the vortex does club does destroy pretty good laugh What do you mean? What do you do you don't close with your dick every time? No, no, do you get permission from the club? No, they don't they don't they're not allowed to give me notes. No, no that well, that's not a note That's I mean, that's a lead. It's not it's a legal thing. No, I go. What are the legalities of the city?

You mean I you don't think I go in and say what the laws are Do you think certain races were allowed to get naked on stage like Asians everyone's like sure that's what I that's why I do it I feel like it doesn't apply to me the opposite on Instagram Cuz let's say for instance Steve o can put as many naked pictures of himself and Bobby does even one that might Suggest nudity it's out and you get striked and you get a strike against you I have two strikes right now. One of them was me naked, but my girlfriend covering my penis Mm-hmm that flagged liang'd but then I see like not Steve o but other comics like on yeah, you know Eric Andre Uh-huh full on dick shot. He put his dick out. Yeah, he put his dick on Instagram and he was fine my screenshot

I did right you got very you still have it for my memory. I'll be somewhere. Yeah, but um It does have a big very nice dick. Well, then you should be able to post it That's what I'm saying like if you have a nice penis you should be able to show it I think if you if here's the difference you either have a really nice penis You should be able to show it at free will or you have your kind of penis and you should be able to show it a free will If you have a regular penis nobody wants to see what's my kind of penis The opposite of a really nice. No, but what is it? What is it? What is my kind of penis is fucking rude? You know what kind of penis your penis is it's it's it works. It's a bit

Your penis is a bit you want me to say it your penis is a bit I have a regular run of the mill penis your penis is it's a little tiny bit. It's hilarious. It's a little tiny bit It's not small. It's just funny. You have a funny penis. I'm not demeaning. I'm not demeaning you think honestly You have a funny penis. It's not small. It's funny things to make it funnier. You do. Yeah It's a more wrinkly the sack by the way the Harry or your pubes get and the more defined your little nutsack gets Yeah, I mean it looks like you know how statues have very like bushy, you know like a you know Michael they have very bushy pubes and very smooth nuts and a smooth little penis of the little tiny head. Yeah, it's Perfect, you have a perfect little funny penis. Wow, that's it. It's a funny penis

And you should be proud that's better than you saying that I'm funny You are funny. I know but that's a nice compliment. Thank you You have a funny penis. You have a funny brain You have a funny aura. You're very you're very funny. Hey, do you tip well at the to the to the servers? At the club. I haven't lately. I forget you should I know The worst is my pool Because in Portland the last time I was there. I was never was banned forever because the pool What are you talking about you put you I put all over the green room all over the green room because I had diarrhea. What's up?

Hi, I mean, there's a better way to do that. That's what he does. That's what Aristotle does It's not even that's he pulls that camera. Look at he pulls look at this get out of here close the door I want to talk about this guy close the door with the Aristotle talking about Aristotle. Yeah, yeah, okay good This is gonna get good Is he gonna kill He's great, you know, you know, I talked nice about Aristotle recently on a popular podcast. Yeah, did you hear it? Yeah, you did. I did talk very nice about him. I don't think he gets I Don't think he gets enough love both from just just a side thing because we're talking about other comics

There's a whole host of New York girls There are comics mm-hmm that hit me and Jade Carpetta. They hate you and Jade. Why? Because um When I was in Chicago Schaumburg, yeah, I had an emcee who was a woman. Who was it? I can't tell you who it is, but she's now living in LA and she's killing it Okay, and she I know who it is. Okay, I bet I bet I know Chicago. I know who it is good for home, too Nice girl, very fine. I know who it is. Okay, and she on a Saturday night came in in a ballroom gown Mm-hmm. Shut up. I can't imagine her being enough

I think maybe she was wearing a beautiful like a kind of like a Cinderella E ballroom Gong like she went to a fucking dinner before like she went into a What a carat a pumpkin. Yeah Was it Halloween? No, but that's what she looked like she came out of a carriage and she's missing a slipper like the story, okay? Mm-hmm. So I Just looked at her because I you know, I'm not like a headliner that that audience is my people, right? It's you 95% I would even go long more almost there from either Tiger Belly Matt TV There they bought tickets to see me the whole crowd is my fucking show

That's your show and if my one of my openers is saying Grandma rape jokes as an emcee. Hmm. I'm gonna come up to him and go. I don't want that. Yeah, you can do this My audience. Yeah, you can do that. I don't want you to wear that. Oh The wearing the wear things hard. It's not hard. Yeah, I know you can say you can't of their body bodily possession No, no, no, you can say I don't want you to say this kind of material because it's not what I like And it's not my audience, but the wearing thing unless it's fucking It's served. It's it's like it's like it's like a swastika shirt. Yeah. No, no, no How about this? What if I'm doing a play? Yeah, that I wrote. Yeah, and I want a character to wear that

Oh, pure personal but you didn't write you can hire your own character. You didn't the club hired her I should do you should bring your own then didn't do do I have the right to fire her? Of course you do But that's what I'm saying is is that I told her that if you you can wear with it But then you're not on the show and she complained That's fucked up though Bobby coming from a woman to tell me what to how I should present myself on stage Let's suppose because you know what I'm saying. It sounds so wrong I'm trying to fight my position hike up your skirt girl. I'm really gonna still fight it I feel like I can win but I'm drowning in it right here's what you should have done

Here's what you should have done. First of all, listen to what she just said Did you hear what she just said? You didn't pay attention say it again. I heard what she said that to me before. Oh, she has yeah He tells a story all the time and every time I'm like, yeah, what you did you cannot tell you can't yeah You can't do that you can't and on top of that if you felt uncomfortable with her clothing choices Yeah, you could just tell the club. I don't want to work with that person anymore. And that's the end of it You made it about the clothes. You should have just been like, I don't like her vibe No, let me say something and that's totally what she would have found out that I without saying anything

Yeah, well, she's giving her shot. She knows now I know but if I would have went to the manager without even saying anything and said, you know, I just the whole vibe of her I don't like I don't want on the show And he'd be like, what do you mean? It's like she's wearing that ballroom gown and I you know, I don't want to say anything Don't even get there. All right. Well, I just don't like her vibe I don't like her comedy. It doesn't align with what I'm trying to present to my crowd If the youth I would like I would like at the time didn't think that I didn't think that that was you have to I feel like now we should get around the show and because I've been stepped on I've had mc step on me. What's her name? I forgot

Yeah, okay, I think she's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever said anything face to face? She when she moved to town she came up to me at the store and she goes, I'm here now. Let's try to be cordial Oh, then she really hates you. Yeah, that is she and I go, okay And to say that at the main room in the in the comedy star is fucking crazy policy And I like that. Yeah, it's but she's ball. I like that about because she's confident and she's real and I get it, dude You know the times have changed. I probably was in the wrong at the time. I thought was right And I guess no one sees it on my side I just think that like if

Morrissey's headlining and a band before him is doing something or even wearing like swastikas or You would just fire the like he would fire the band He wouldn't say anything like hey, just don't wear that and just do your show. We love you And also if it's something that mattered to you that much then what he said if don't just bring an opener bring an mc Yeah, you should I'm gonna do from now on. What's her name? Yeah, I'm sorry At the time You know in my head. I'm like, I don't like what she's wearing

I should have not said anything It's okay. It's a learning moment. I learned and I guess, you know, my point of view right now Is I'm sorry. I'll never do that again And I was in the wrong. You know what I love about you There it is the one thing I love about you is you're a very coachable athlete Yeah, you really are you really know how to take you really know how to take something think about it and then really go I'm in the wrong and I I couldn't fight it and I'm in the wrong and I fucked up You're not in the wrong

She hates me. I can tell I bet you she doesn't hate you Her friends won't talk to me. Who are her friends that don't like you? You know her number I think you construct these things in your head more than anything. All right. Go try but when you text her Yeah, don't say that you're near me. Just say do you hate bobby lee? Yeah, I go. Hey, I was you know I was thinking about something about you know, big day. Would you work with bobby lee? I don't have her number Are you being real? Yeah, I don't I don't I we're not close like that

But I don't I but I know her so here we go. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna hit her up on instagram. Okay This is the face. Hey Okay, I hey it's 655. Oh air. I have a number right here. Oops never used it. I go hold on copy Here we go And if she ever responses really deep and like long and personal we're obviously we're not gonna air that Well, though, we have to this is like the time when rustle peter is like no this guy doesn't hate you. You're like no Call him right now. He's right. That's what happened. Russell was so confident. Yeah, there are people that hate me, bro Oh, that one me dead. There are people that want me dead, dude. Hey, it's santino. Okay. Yeah, here we go

Hi, it's santino. It's bobby lee's friend. Okay, we send it, but I trust you. I just you know, why would I why would I Hide it from you. That's true. It says hey, it's santino when she hits me back I shouldn't have said hey, let me remove the hey on instagram. It's so funny what you're doing Isn't that so cool that you can get rid of a message? Oh, yeah They should do that for text. I like errors Really? I like when people fuck up because I'm like, oh, there's because they're human Yeah, but if I made a mistake if I made if I said the wrong thing to you like I don't want to ever Sometimes I say things to be allowed to text him and I go I don't need to say

I don't need to tell them that or say that and then I have to I want to get rid of it You should have that in text as well. Yeah, imagine if bobby could unsend what he did to megan If bobby could have unsend the gown thing I said to her face I know you could sing what if you could unsend a face to face that thing. Yeah, there's probably not There's probably 50 unsends. I wish I could take back Really? Yeah, so you know what I do now when I text I literally do I like wait a minute before I send it I read it over I think about it, especially if somebody like rogan or someone I'm like You know a little bit more political about I think about it

Who he has a meeting with me and he runs the text past me. So does this sound comments? I also um I'm like posts. I always run past her, but that's very smart because he has a problem with could of Yeah It's could of with an apostrophe ve not could of It's could that's so funny because it's funny when it's funny. I'll tell you why it's funny because I have Insecurities and I I'm not perfect at everything And the one thing that I'm not good at is a full grasp of the English language me neither I understand that and sometimes

I'm the immigrant Yeah, you were born here But here's what I learned over the years when you flub a line But this is what I used to do of us. I was talking to a young lady or my boss at panicking He used to work at a coffee shop. You know, which one the panicking right by the comedy store in La Jolla Used to work there for years morning What I would put the biscuits out there in the morning and make coffee and stuff. Yeah Oh my god for years. I also worked at the restaurant in the in the co for years as a waiter

Did you ever have any menial jobs? Not menial. I mean like, you know Jobs that one's gonna hurt. Yeah Peasant jobs I had so many Are you a good worker? Very I I never let me let me say this. I've never I never not had a job

I've had a job my whole life me too. My parents never supported me financially like that. So yeah, I had a 15 years old I was mcdonald's I was before when I got a workers permit before I could even drive I had to be dropped off I I worked at the ymca is a lifeguard and then a swim instructor. Uh, I was a babysitter. I did tutoring. I did Uh, uh, I sold um window washing power washing and gutting gutter cleaners. Oh, yeah, I learned from you You know what word I learned from you? Huh marionette. Look at I still haven't gotten a text back from her by the way This says two things. She doesn't like you or me. Did you see my name in the text? No, I just said hey, it's Santino, which hurts me more because I didn't mention you. Should I say I'm with bobby lee? No

Why that's burying the lead. Yeah, do you know is there anybody that doesn't like you? Well your hands really out there george, I mean grabby grab Yeah, why grabby grab a lot of privilege over we can do it. We can do it. We can do it out. Okay You're gonna be there tonight. We can do it. Oh, let's let's see at the store. Thanks for coming by I think this is gonna work. Thank you for doing this You know, I I fucking at the at yesterday. I won't even say I don't want to this is not But no, it doesn't matter. I Irish could buy it yesterday I didn't want to be wrapped out. You know how they wrap you out

Oh on satan, you mean he's balanced and the way so the you were your last scene and you usually the uh The assistant director goes that was uh, Adam Santino's last season season wrap Adam Santino Adam Santino season round, you know, man people clap and they'll and then other actors come up to you and go Adam is really good to me working with you, man. I saw you Andrew. Whatever Don't don't don't start this right now. Andrew. There it is and randy Adam Don't do it. So what I'm saying is is so they said wrap and then you stayed longer?

No, what happened was is I went up to the ad and I said to the to the executive producer. I said Do you mind not giving me a wrap applause? I don't it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like really So then what did you just walk away? I went individually up to everybody and I thanked them and I hugged them and I said it was great working with you and Um, when the scene is done, I've got to go. Uh, but I just want to say thank you. Oh, wow You know what I do, but I don't but I because I don't like that thing. I don't I bow Oh my god, I do a bow. I want a second. I want a second clap. You love the I try to get a second clap Like an on-core performance. I want the guy to say it again. You love the attention. I love it

Yeah, and I don't want it. It feels good. I want to see number one on the call. She stand up I don't want. Yeah, Oliver Hudson stand up Is that show back it's gone. It's never coming back Wow Magnum baby, but you made good money on it It really good with two years Good money two years. Isn't that fun? Yeah, I think I'm gonna sell a shot. I think something's good. You're gonna sell a show I think we're gonna sell that

Really a couple things going on. It feels good Guys, I need an update on what's going on. Are we getting uh, a Santino Bobby a podcast or not? Bobby announced it I talked to him outside. That's why I pulled him out. Why don't you announce it right? Tell him right now I think Andrew and I think I know Andrew and I are gonna do a podcast and we're gonna do it in january 2020 called 2020 It's called 2020. No, it's coming in 20 because we're gonna go long. Yeah, um, we're gonna be guest driven Guest driven we should have gas. Yeah, but it's gonna be you and I to begin with let's do a couple with just you and I Yeah, okay, you know what we did last time where we did mock ones This kind of feels like that too this one right here

Yeah, but um, I think we should do a couple of those too Yeah, we should spend in a room and we'll just figure it out and we'll let our wheels come up with a name You know all that stuff, but um, we'll go 50 50 on it. I think it'll be good I think um, eric people eric the black sky said yes As long as black sky says yes, I'm good. Do you know why he said yes? Yeah, I threatened him. Not only that he wants to do one with her. I know I heard but I haven't agreed. I know she's gonna Just wait a while. I know she has what else what else you have notes. What else do you need a fight? Just show it

Show it Can you take your shirt off? I want to see what's going on with your body as of late because there's pudge going on in all the wrong places Who is chest chest pudge? Like in the chest you get pudged in the chest. That's that's pecs. Oh, it's called pecs. Okay. He works out. He works out Yes, he does He doesn't have you seen the movie parasite. Let me read it. Let me read it. No Don't react Bobby. Don't react like Andrew S. Don't react. Don't react Let's be natural

Organic. Okay, go ahead Okay, let's start over. Have you seen the movie parasite? It's a good movie. You love it. It's so it's Korean cans. I went to cans It's it's it went to where? Can cans content. I keep telling you the content possible. It went to con James con. He invented you invented it. You know that right? Oh, yeah. Yes. Who's his dad? It's not. Yes, it is Okay, I don't know what to believe anymore. Okay, if it is that's if it is uh, if it is I will apologize to everybody James con's father. There's no fucking way. Yes, it is bob con. Yes, it is. It's not spelled the same way

I know what how con is spelled. How k-e-h-n No Oh con k-a-n can't no k-a-h-n no no no c-a-n c-a-n-n-e-s Thank you. Fuck you. No, but James don't talk to me. James con. That's what I'm saying and it's but but they had to make it Fucking friend. All right. That's fine. Yeah. Anyway, um, it's a Korean movie parasite. Yeah Yeah, I didn't see it. You love it. But do I need to see it? Yes So funny because you liked it. You guys liked it. I'll tell you what it is

It's it's when you're watching it. You think it's not going to be you think it's going to be like a weird drama It is surprisingly light and funny Really? There's so many scenes in it that kyle and I pushed pause and we laughed There's a scene where a man is Is on these couple this couple is sleeping Right. He's not supposed to be in the house. He's underneath the couch So he decides two in the morning. It's time. They haven't moved in three hours

So he starts crawling from the bottom of the couch, right to the door But then one of them wakes up He doesn't know what to do So he just freezes like a worm like a worm and he just lays there They don't see him But you could see in the shot him his legs stick Yeah Wide it's so wait. Just they just missed it in editing. No, it just made it. It's funny. What do you mean?

It's supposed to be like that. Yeah, he's upset. That sounds so dumb Why it's funny I have to visually see it because i'm lost. I thought you're saying that was an accident I don't know it's part of you're an accident. You're an accident. This is an accident. I'm an accident. Let's move on How much time do you do? How much time do you do? All right, how much time do you do? No I'm literally I swear to god Aristotle everyone in the room. You want to get serious?

You want to talk about it? Yeah, I'll fucking talk about it. Okay. Ask me the fucking question How much time do you do on stage? It depends on what show but when you hit line on the road when I hit on the road is generally 42 minutes When do you can you do an hour? I have Why don't you do an hour because the times I've done hours is I didn't know what time it was Like I was on stage and I was like kind of like in some improvised You could ask them to give you a light at 50. I can't and they can never know when when it is I can't tell. Okay. Do you think it's a gigantic light in front? I can't tell. Do you think the crowds deserve an hour?

I mean when I leave the show people say generally that's the greatest show we've ever seen Or we've seen that same act 10 times. You didn't win a single joke. We'll watch it for the rest of our lives So then if they say so when they say stuff like that and they keep coming back and every room is sold out I say to myself. There's something going on that I'm doing that's right But if they say I've seen the jokes before why why don't you try to write new stuff? So the next time they see you have new shit, but what's the point? Aside from doing a special. What's the point? Well, there's a lot of points aside from doing a special Yeah, I want to hear them because writing new jokes even though they're tough

When they work And they're joyful. It's something magical. It is that's the satisfaction of stand-up sunday I did a joke and he got a huge laugh and I it was a longer bit And I couldn't believe it got a laugh because it was one of those things I've been thinking about for three years every day And you finally let it out and went to the comedy store and I just And it was that and it was hilarious to myself It got huge more laughs than any other of my other jokes. So how come because it took three years for me to think about that fucking bit To do it. Why do you think it's taking you three years to think about a new bit? Because when I'm following

You know me deli or you you know packed or our main room and I'm going oh fuck Um Jeannie mccarthy and her people are here. They're not They have families. They don't they definitely aren't there. I promise not that's interesting Cast directors are not there on a tuesday night. That's interesting because I've seen allison jones there nine times and she knows you Extremely well, it's not gonna. I'm just saying my point though is is that if you're saying the cast directors don't go there is silly They barely go there and if they do they already know you're funny. So you've already won the race So that's not a thing you should be worried about

So what are you really worried about? You're bright. What are you worried about failing? Failing. I don't like bombing. You're you're not why I don't like I don't like trying because when I try new jokes I bomb every time and that's not true. That's not true. You've never seen it I well, I know you don't do it enough. That's I know but if you saw it and you saw me do it You would say oh, I get what he's doing and it's he's a mess So you're saying you would rather it takes a long time for me. I would I would rather have a room That's 20 30 40 people that I can go in every night and try 10 15 20 minutes of new material Without any pressure. Okay. I'll give you a better example

Before kalayla You remember before kalayla. Yeah Do you remember how like searching for someone? that you wanted to really like Not even just love maybe someone that you wanted to like hang with and have a relationship with Was difficult and you thought I don't know if I fucking want to hang out with someone all the time and be with someone Or even move in with someone. I mean fuck that right? Right. Yeah, okay

So then when you met kalayla And it worked And you went through a couple of struggles internally and with her about problems in the relationship Moving in together growing as a couple Buying shit together deciding on schedule and timing molding becoming one person And the satisfaction Was way better than when you didn't have it, right?

Yes, okay It's the same thing It's hard, but good things are fucking hard. Fuck it. All right You fucking fuck fuck fuck. Well, don't I'm gonna do it My kneecap You're gonna lose her you're gonna hit stuff and now she's gonna walk away. I'm gonna do it Are you you hit the nail in the nail? And it's gonna that thing's gonna not open

That should be the name Get the nail with the nail It's never gonna open Okay, because I was deep I get it all right and I agree with you I'm sorry for the rage there. No, it was a little bit of a rage there. It's even even when you get mad. It's funny It's like the Joker. That's so fucking fucking right. See Jesus, he's gotta throw us up so fucking right not a piece of that right So, um, I gotta perform. Yeah, we gotta go. I gotta go, but um do this thing

All right, we'll do a quick one and hopeful advice with time out. Yeah Because just I like cutting you off because people cut you off during that point all the time Especially he hates it I want you for one time because I'm here in front of me Instead of just throwing it to him like do the thing Just lead him in a nice way Oh, wow. Give him like a nice he hit the nail in the nail I want one. Do you get the nail in the nail? I want one time when he rages out like that

Is there ever a point where you ever feel threatened? Not not threatened, but I But I get scared for everyone involved It's great. I will do it and you hit the nail nail And that's never gonna open. I mean when I look at you now Bobby. Yeah, I can't even imagine what you'd be like on meth You've done muted meth for so long. Like what what was that even like? What could that have been like? Miracles. No Opposite you like things built From from hand you become a handyman

I'm the kind of guy will build like little like figurines like human figurines out of the scabs So you're met Met scabs I make a little figurine. They're fucking art toe ball. Oh, okay. Don't you're about to I don't want to throw up Oh, I want to take about toe ball. Hmm toe ball Don't Aaron is a figurine. It's crazy. I might throw up. I know the most disgusting thing. So my left foot, right? Has um mold and fungi apparently from the doctor said that Mm-hmm. So, um, you know, he gave me um, I went to the place, you know, the pharmacy I got the ointment the stuff and it worked

But I stopped taking it because I realized I like the itch So I right. Yeah, so Great really good company though the the medicine works and the company should keep going Because the medicine tends to work. Yeah, that's what it's there for So, um, and the I missed the itch and um, what I used to do and my right foot is pure pure I could be a foot model with my right foot. The left foot is um swampy Is a little swampy

Okay. Yeah, but what I used to do is um when I used to date my girlfriend Christine Portillo She used to go. Why is there a bowl? In the bathtub Filled with all that dust Oh man Yeah, I don't like mics. I thought you're gonna go somewhere. It's comedy store. Oh, they do. Oh, I'm not bad. All right Can I finish the story?

I don't want people's faces to do that because it makes me feel uncomfortable. No, I'm not we're not doing all right So but so and then she says why are there razors? so what I I'm not gonna air this and you know what I don't know why you're dating Why are you dating me? I'm a fucking foul. We're listening creature of the of the The worst kind you're not the worst. I've seen none. No. No, there's way worse. There's way worse. Thank you So I stick the razor. I would scrape the bottom of my left foot And I would get dead skin with it and you would peel it from the bottom, right? I'm gonna throw up

a good And I was sticking the bowl three years I'm gonna throw and so when you it's like, you know, you know what like paper mashing No, like the gold when they did the gold panning for gold. That's what I do with it Mm-hmm. Yes to get the fun guy the real fun guy. It's gone, right? No, no, I'm I'm waiting. That's the gold Do you not want me to send you the picture? No, we won't take the most of the photo I want to see it. I don't want so what I did was then I thought you know, I'm my obsession with look over there too

I know I don't know look behind you. Don't please. I won't finish it unless you look behind you What do you see there glue? Why do I I'll tell you So what I did was you glue it together not just glue it together what I did was I'm bored I'm bored of this bowl Of dead left-foot skin Not being used for anything. You know me creative, right? So I one day I just took a bunch of glue. I just poured it in there

And I made a ball And it was so compact It was a compact full of left dead skin ball it was like a A truffle looked like a truffle Oh It looked and smelled like a truffle, but what happened was over pasta, right? No, yeah, but what happened was over the years get this a science it's science science

Over the years. I just added to it It became a ball like this thick like it's a how big a solid skin I'm gonna try to look for the left foot a left foot ball No, the one that you got was a smaller version of the big one. I had but I sliced it in half. Oh, like a tree Oh, you know you take a treat and you could see the rings. Yeah, you could literally see fungi rings And it smelled deeper as it went to the center of the miracle of science It's the miracle of science You know what? Yeah

I'm on unrace that text from that latest Chicago lady. I don't think she's gonna want to do it. What did she say? But that did that. Where's the ball? I'm looking at the photograph. Well, my mom and I Um uncovered it when you were trying to move to the new place. That's true. There were two balls remaining Thank you And um, I took a picture of it and I tossed it out because there's no way in hell and bring that demon over to the new place But thank you for calling cdc info a service of the centers for disease control If you would like to continue in English Okay, so now turn it off

If you're 50 to 74 years old It I'm sorry. Your response was not understood. Please try again. Just hang it out first. Speak to a representative If you are a medical or health care professional Press one if the call is urgent. If not urgent, press please hold while your call is routed to the cdc emergency operation center Your call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance. Great. Turn it off. I hope they record it. Turn it How many years how many how many so ready 17? No the ball hold on my 48 how many years Officer Lewis, I have just an honest question for you. I'm being very genuine a friend of mine

A friend of mine has collected Foot skin Foot skin in a ball. It's a I know this is an unusual thing. It's a hobby. I have a very genuine. I'm being honest in this question He has collected dead skin cells for years for I would like almost five years Um, he he has them in his home. I'm told him I'm concerned about his health and safety Is this something that could have bacteria and or disease in it that could potentially be fatal to himself or friends and family I know this is an extremely obscure question, but it's dead serious I

I'm asking you I have no idea because I just it it's dead skin cells and bacteria and fungus Growing in his bathroom in his home and I'm genuinely concerned Okay, so that is no way for that to spread or create a new disease or Like a like patient zero type of thing where that's a new thing that spreads because of him. Is that not possible? I'm not this is not Okay thank you It's good to know that the government doesn't give a fuck

We're all gonna die from it. By the way, she treated that Like it was because it was a joke partially But let's say that that did have bacteria that spread like could was fatal to you or family and friends Hmm didn't care, you know what you I'm guessing they get a lot of Hypocondriacal people calling in and asking really obscure like that, but isn't that how that's how crazy things start wait fungus No new diseases like new diseases can start that because no one's ever done that in the history ever And it should never happen again. No it should and that's what makes me creative and different That's amazing special. Okay

My thought processes. Okay. We need to switch subjects. So you need to All right. I I'm going going to so um, I'm gonna get nauseous. So the polar opposite of those two balls Of glue those two balls of glue remind me of depravity sadness it reminds me of um Cockroach insect like just bottom dwelling behavior fact and the other half of the the polar opposite of that Is the light correct? Yeah. God. Yes, right? Yes spirituality love And the only person that I think in my head that embodies that

Is my very good friend Gilbert. Wow And I say this because when he does the countdown for the Unhuffle advice. Yeah It's life changing. It's life changing. You love it. I love it. Wow And I think he's so talented and I just so blessed today. So um, thank you. Will you please be the honor? The honor would be all mine, sir Wow The honor

on his knees Praying the honor would be all mine sir. If you could please do Please be generous And do the introduction for the unhuffle advice beg of you. Please. I love you. Yes, my son I I'm helpful advice with Kalilah and

Andrew Santino Here's a quick one is a three-parter. Mm-hmm. First of all my boyfriend. I love you guys main question What's the best unhelpful advice you can give to a long distance relationship? Please don't say break up second question. How do I make my boyfriend comfortable with me eating his ass any tips? Part three. Can you say happy birthday to nick? It's his birthday november 7th. Happy birthday nick move on Fuck this lady I love kidding

I'm kidding mike. How do you make a long distance relationship work without breaking up? I think that if you don't have a long-term plan to eventually be together, it's not going to work So if you're just going day by day screw it I would I would I would side with you and I would also say it's extremely age dependent Uh, that's true. If these are 23 year olds It's fucking never gonna last if these people are in their late 30s or 40s and they've been through relationships before It's gonna last something you can work it out much easier. Yeah, I would put my entire bank account on somebody sub 25 Doing a long distance not working. I bet my bank account eat every day of the week even someone 30 and younger

I do probably 75 of my bank account. You got a 75 chance of it not working Um 30 younger over 30. I'll change my perspective Odds are way different. I read a magazine a quote saying it's a fact probably. I don't know but it says that um People are um compatible with 42 billion other people in the world But that's how some people think I feel like you're in a situation where she was god made him for you This is what's really scary about your psyche Is that you've repeated this lie over and over again and then admitted to saying you made that fact up At least 11 times on

The 42 billion thing I made that up. Yeah. Yeah, and then you do you even know that there's not 42 billion people on earth? No, I lie all the time. Look at me in the face and guess guess how many billions of people do you think are on planet earth? 12 billion no no no less 6 billion around around. Yeah, you're close. We'll start at that. They're trying out of the billions. It's pretty good for me Well, do you know how many a billion is? No No, it's a lot. How many how many people do you think are the united states of america? 300 million about a little higher. 350 million. How do you know that? You looked at upper. Somebody did this to you recently

No, I think you're supposed to know that fact in like elementary school fifth grade, right? He thought there was 42 billion humans on planet earth Yeah, there's seven get over here bob. There's seven bob. We have to finish Um, I think that um, it could work out long distance. I know many long distance relationships that work out Um, sometimes you just find somebody that you just isn't You know that is what I used to have intentional long distance relationships Because you because you wanted you ultimately couldn't commit. I wanted a thrill of the muffin top I only wanted to eat the muffin top for so long. I didn't care about anything else that initial feeling of like that big burst of emotion Yes, you love love just the top of the muffin. Yeah, but now you have a muffin top. No, she's over my love

Her new her new look. She told me today. I think what did I say? Because I think I'm into like buffer bigger dudes Actually, this is what he said, you know, you know, I said, you know, I'm in okay shape Listen to me. I want to I want you guys to be locked in a room. Oh really? That's silly. I'm just being honest. You would never fuck her. That's silly. What do you mean? You would never and we would never fuck silly if you were blacked out Maybe yeah, if we were both blacked out. Yeah party and having a good time Yeah, I probably do that with your dad. I have a question. I have a question. You know how it would say like that's crazy, right? No, would I blow your dad party? Yes

You would blow my dad up? All right, let's move on. Great job. Give me another one. What other one? All right, um, I'll summarize this there's hi I've uh Vasley on this decision for years and I am seeking your perverse yet wise insights I'm an athletic five-year-old half Asian father and I'm considering performing in porn porn and porn My cock is eight by eight meaning eight inches long and eight inches into conference. Jesus. All right No, bullshit. I think that puts me in the bottom third of the male industry size wise, but I am no expert I don't even watch porn. I think it's bad for the soul and don't enjoy performing in front of men or unattractive women

this fucking guy But I feel uh, I do think of this is he just wanted to tell us he has a big dick But I do think that the industry should be doing a better job of representing Asian men in porn So I feel like I should step up I'm willing to take one for the team and then he goes into thinking like should he do it or he doesn't want to He has a kid. Well, my child thing. Oh god. He's got a savior complex. There is a new Asian guy. He's thinking Andrew's thinking Well, I I think what he was doing was extremely divisive Right. I don't think he wants to be in porn at all. I think he he knows it's a hot topic and he knows that

That he might be well endowed or he could be a liar and just wants to get on the show. Yeah, but even more so I've know a few people that work in the sex industry that are porn stars or people that work in porn Literally, none of them have those debates Yeah, yeah, they just do it and they've never gone. Well, well, well, they just are in it or you're not Sorry, but I'm uh proficient in auto when it comes to porn. I know. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we know and um, I saw an Asian man Like, you know, I googled in um porn hub Asian man with hot chick And I saw something that gave me a um inspiration. I've got a look this Asian guy This Asian guy was standing. Mm-hmm. Okay

He grabbed her. Okay. So stand up, babe. Oh No, we're not gonna actually do it but stand up. What did he did just stand up? This one just says grabbed her like this, right? But then he had her hand. All right, and he started to sit back down, babe Now that we stood we know is this it. Is this it from standing just going Right ripping and I was so proud of him. She's so good. Is this just this is this the one Asian is good This one's called Asian guy fucks a girl Is that it? That's not it. No, no

Hold on and I just want to quickly defend myself when I said that I I missed being around buff dudes That's because he opened with I think I think I want to fuck fat chicks again. Oh, well. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had And it hurt my feelings and I said no because I said get more pudge. I go I need more pudge in your stomach. I've been working out. I go. Yeah, but I want pudge because I'm getting into fat chicks again Is that what you're you're very body conscious lately for something you commented about bodies What's your what's going on with you in your head with other people's bodies you commented about staddle His body. Yeah, you're I've always done that but you're thinking about bodies a lot right now

I have but I don't know why though. I don't I've never really thought about what the root of it is She texted me back by the way. Do I want to say anything? Yes. Do it now. What would you like me to say? Say, hey, um I know this is weird. No, just say this. Um, I'm with bobby lee Okay, I'm with bobby lee and he feels bobby lee and we were talked we we had talked about what he did Do not apologize through him though. That's what I'm not going to do. You have to do it in person and apologize. Chicago. Yeah Like he told me the story about Chicago. Yeah, what what? About when you open for him. I how about this? I just did a podcast by bud. I love you, Mike with bobby lee and he told me about the story about chicago

I never Heard it I imagine You're not a fan But you have to say that I was apologetic Hold on here. If you don't put that in there, then I gotta do it like that. I gotta find well, how do I want to say is Bobby lee told me story about the Chicago

Can I do it feels bad? Will you trust me? He feels bad. Yeah. Do you hate him? He feels bad. Yeah, do you hate him? I gotta know Do you hate him? Yeah We awkward smiley face, where's awkward smile? There it is. What's the awkward smile? Can you show me this one? This one? Oh, okay, that one. Yeah teeth like that. Yeah, that's good. I like that look. I do it all the time. Do you hate him? Here it's an emoji, babe. That's you don't have to do it for real. Oh, you don't. He walks up to her. Sorry What is he doing? Is he on a bed? All right, I'll do another unhelpful advice. Yeah, why? Oh, okay. Oh, no, do we gotta go? We gotta go all day long. I've been here all day long. Well, let's sign off with this. Let's sign it off

Let's sign off with this. This is a very special very edited episode Andrew, you and I can't go wrong ever. No, it's the very it's so much fucking fun. I have one real question. Yeah, go genuinely. Yeah Oh, I want you three to look at me right now. Okay, ready? I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Shh, don't say it. Don't say it so he could hear you. I know. Who is that? We don't generally don't. We did at one point in life. Recognize him. Recognize him. Talk to him. But there were some problems with family. Okay. And we resolved that it's getting better. Don't. He's waving. You took the doors off the price. You know, I love you. Okay. You know that. You're back. I love him. Yeah, Bryce is back. Give him a rub. Bryce is back, everybody. Do you know what Bryce is? You know what Bryce is? Bryce is George without with Bryce. George is Bryce with a little more confidence. Bryce is George with a few more Instagram followers.

George is Bryce. George is Bryce. George is Bryce when he got like a couple of DMs. Do you know what I mean? But Bryce is better looking and cooler. Yeah, more fuckable. Right. Right. Yeah. Bryce is a cool looking babe kind of guy. George is like if Diarrhea was a person. Yeah. But also he would have been an actor in the 50s. Like Jimmy Stewart. They love dudes that look like that. Clark Gable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very handsome. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. In a suit? No, I know. I said nothing but compliments. I was shitting on him. Yeah, no, I know. He would never in any in any time era would never be. He knows I love him. But you know that in any time era he was never considered to be handsome in any time. Like in medieval times. Not even then. In medieval times. In the plague, when the plague and people were deformed. He'd been have moat digger. Not even just moat digger, moat cleaner. Moat cleaner. Right. You're like, it's like a pool with you. You have a pool thing. You're getting all the leaves. Get down. Yeah. And they're like, dude, that thing is made out of fire too. Because when they attack, we put it on fire. He got it down. They're making me do it. While this guy is in the house. He's in the castle. Yeah. Yeah. He's in the castle. He's courting one of them. Why? Yeah. Fuck you, George. No. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. Let's end it. Woo. We did it. Thanks for listening. Santino, any dates, any shows? I love you. Any dates, shows for us? When are you guys, when is this coming out? Probably in two weeks. Okay, great. So this weekend, I'm in San Francisco at Cobbs. Yeah, come see me at Cobbs, and then next weekend, I'm at Helium in Indianapolis. I go to Cobbs, San Francisco, Indianapolis, and then I do to Brea and the Ice House are my only shows in December right now.

I do the Ice House in Brea, California. Come see me, baby. I love you. Go to this website. So much fucking fun. Go to AndrewSantino.com. I want to do one night in your Brea. I'm going to come by. Come by. Come by. You want to seriously, let's do a show together. Let's do it. You want to see all of it, dude. Imagine. Did we wrap there? And imagine if we did do a podcast for a year. Hello, sleepers of the Slep Kingdom. And get your tickets to see the Slep King live. Bobby will be in Cleveland, Ohio, Brea, California, San Francisco, Colusa, California, Irvine and many other places. So, to check out those dates and to purchase those tickets before they're gone, go to bobbylealive.com and get your question on Tiger Belly by emailing us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. We're looking for interesting, unusual, non-typical problems, and we need your help as much as you want ours. That's adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. If you already have not purchased, get some merch, guys. Go to our website, thetigerbelly.com, and grab a couple shirts, some stickers, and some mugs so that you guys have your holiday gifts for all your loved ones. Guys, you can follow everything Calyla at Calambique, George at George underscore Kimmel, everything Bobby Lee at Bobby Lee Live, and you can check out some Gilbets stuff at Gilbets. We love you. Follow us on Instagram at Tiger Belly. Have a good day.

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