TigerBelly - Bonus Belly: Asa Akira Takes over the Show

Episode Date: October 13, 2019

Bobby knows historical porn. Khalyla is a doula. Asa is reborn like a phoenix. We talk overnight nipple latching, last week's flat tire, and the flash mob of your dreams.More Asa: Pornhub Podcast: https://apple.co/2OKMpxx Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/asaholeSupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Three, two, one. Bobby's not here. Welcome to Tiger Belly with Asa Akira. Yes, guys. As you can tell, this is big news. Bob and Kalayla actually were bought out of the company. Actually, Asa bought Tiger Belly because she's a fucking dope-ass entrepreneur killing the game right now.

It's true. I had porn hub by Tiger Belly. The first thing I'm doing is cleaning house. She's keeping all the ethnic, so George, you're next to be fired. She only wants Asians in the room at all times. You don't take off your fucking shoes, George, and it pisses Asa off. The first time I took off my shoes in this house, there were little nails on the floor holding out the carpet, but the carpet had worn away.

I stepped on that. Never again. I'm leaving my shoes on in this house at all times. I actually have my shoes on, too. Look at the floor, too. It's Bobby's house. Look at the floor. You guys are probably wondering where they are. Bobby actually texted us not too long ago. We're actually called and said,

hey, guys, I'm getting my tires changed. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Yep, thoughts? The information I received was that Bobby got a flat tire. Great job, Gilbert. What is it? I don't know. I actually don't know either. All we know is that he's at a tire shop.

He's getting picked up by one of our other employees to get dropped off. He's obviously just getting his tires changed. Which is also so random that it's happening at this late. I feel like that's so Bobby. Yeah. Is there anything you can reveal about your relationship with Bobby that you normally wouldn't say?

Is there anything crazy? Because he gets angry when we ask about his life with other people. Let me think. But also, what would even embarrass Bobby? I don't know what would, because he's very open about his sexual encounters with men. Sexual encounters with animals? I don't know. I feel like he's very open with himself,

his foot fungus, infecting his own partner with his foot fungus. I don't know that actually I know a single thing about Bobby that isn't known to the world. I cannot think of a single thing. Do you think he's ever lied to you? Yeah. Are you joking?

Our friendship is a lie. I mean, he's in a lie right now. I don't even know. He could be at a restaurant right now. I don't even know. But the fact that we're setting someone to pick him up, I do believe that he was freaking out when he called me. So I think there is mostly truth to it.

I don't know what's actually happening. Maybe it's like the tire got flattened while someone was changing it or something. Maybe the truth is like a half way. Like he was driving, it got flat, and he was next to a tire changing facility. I don't know. Guys, start.

You're living in New York right now. What are you doing in LA? Because you've been one of the highly requested guests to come back. You're one of the OG, right when we had video, when we had no AC here, because I remember everyone was oily as fuck,

including yourself. You were pissing us because you were like, why the fuck are there cameras here? I'm wet. That was when this wall was blank. We still did everything on the GoPros or almost everything. One China ball, John.

That's what I'm saying. I walked in here and I was like, you guys have a monitor? I mean, there's a candle burning. We have a crew now. I got this fancy glass bottle of water. Yeah, that you put your gum on. It's beautiful. Thank you so much for doing that.

For the shot. Oh yeah, this is for everyone. It looks great in here. Yeah, so why are you in LA? Why is Asa here? I'm here to post the 2019 Pornhub Awards. And let me tell you,

this is literally the only, the show is the only thing I'm doing in Los Angeles that's like non-Pornhub related on this trip, because like the days leading, I mean the weeks leading up to the award show, it's like fucking insane. And so the show is tomorrow.

We have rehearsals all day today. We had a shoot yesterday. And I just snuck out while the musical performances were rehearsing tonight, and I ran over here. Any reveal who it is? Yeah, I think they already said, I think Bad Bunny is rehearsing right now.

Ian, Isaiah, Kali Uchis. Okay. I'm drawing a blank, and that's probably really bad. But that's how much I'm not doing anything besides anything for the awards. I'm not even doing press for it.

We're just like rehearsing, doing wardrobe, like the stage is being set up, and so it's been really fucking cool. Last year, Kanye did it. That was nuts. That was nuts. Oh my god. Nuts. Yeah. Also, I signed

an NDA, and I've just been totally talking about it. Pretty sure we're supposed to know those guests who were performing. Well, this is coming out on Sunday, so I think we're good. Okay, good. I meant about when Kanye did the award. Were you the person that leaked it out? No.

They didn't give me the information until pretty late into the game, but we signed an NDA, even when working with him at all. I've just been yapping my mouth about everything. What was your experience with Kanye? Was it weird?

Was it cool? Right after she says NDA, she was like, let's go. Let me tell you. We have to go deeper. How did you feel around it? How did you react around him? He's a weird artist, God type of person. He was not as weird as I thought he would be. This was right when everyone

was saying he's manic. He was going on all these shows and talking about Trump and doing all this really crazy seemingly unhinged shit. It was so weird because with us, he was so composed.

Everything he said seemed so well thought out. He was really respectful. He talked about his wife a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. I thought their marriage was totally for publicity. They're a real couple, for sure. He talked about her so much

and he kept saying things like he would put me in a dress and be like, I wonder what my wife would think of this. Is this something my wife would wear? That's really cute. Everything he knows about women, I feel is through his wife's gaze. Which was cool.

My wife's gaze. You got bars, awesome. You get an opening number, I know it. I don't know. He was always so sure to be a feminist about everything. To be really sex positive. To say nothing negative about porn.

It was just like, I don't know. It was really cool. That is really refreshing to hear. I think because of media and how people even jokes or takes on Kanye, it's always like, this guy's nuts, he's crazy. You just describe a man in love

and respect his wife. That's probably the nature of what they say he has is manic depression. That's the nature of manic depression. Sometimes you're manic and sometimes you're not. That explains a lot then. You got him on the good day.

It's weird because it was during that time of where he was literally during the TMZ interview. I think the Charlemagne interview had just come out. It was during that. It was so weird. I really have nothing but

good things to say about him. The thing that sucked though was that I was five months pregnant during that show. Why did you look so small? Because my tits were out and that was the whole point. He was distracted by your breasts.

He made all of our outfits. I was like, I don't want anyone to notice I'm pregnant. I haven't announced it yet. I'm really self-conscious about my stomach. I don't want to wear anything that is tight-fitting around my stomach. He just made this dress for me that my tits were out

and I was like, oh perfect. Literally nobody noticed I was pregnant. For sure no one noticed you were pregnant. They were like, wow, areolas. He was like, triplets. They're like, I can't tell. I can't tell at all. You're lactating on stage.

I'm not pregnant. You're just like a baby hanging out. And Boogalcore just hanging out. No, just your tits. Large as the Ariel. It really worked out. I'm happy to have had that experience. That's so cool.

You hosting this year, was that a thing like we want Austin to do it every year now? You're kind of the face? I'm technically their brand ambassador but I'm not the main one. They have a chick named Aria who is their main brand ambassador

and she's hilarious. She's on the marketing team. She runs all their social media. She's totally the voice of Pornhub. And I'm just kind of on the porn star end of brand ambassadoring. Oh really? Because you got a

podcast that's killing the game right now? Yeah, it's doing really well. And I'm so happy about that. And I'm having so much fun. I've never really done a show on my own. And it's been really, really, really fun.

Super learning experience. The format is changing all the time. So what is the format? It's like an interview based show but I used to have these segments and now I'm kind of like, there's no segments. Let's just talk.

It's just really cool. Especially coming from a background like DVD ASA where there was no preparation, no editing, nothing. We would just go in and talk for like three to nine hours. And now, with the interview show, I like going in super prepared.

I don't know, is that how you guys do it? I think we learned everything from DVD ASA. It's like, hey, is there a guest there? I get it by tire change. But also you guys have the luxury of having people like Bobby and Kalayla who are like, they could literally talk about nothing

for hours and hours and hours. And it's so entertaining. You guys were doing the same thing. Yeah, but Dave was more, I can't do that for hours and hours. I can follow but I cannot lead a conversation for hours and hours

without having something written out and questions written out and having done research and stuff like that. But like, yeah, but I say this about Bobby all the time. This is one thing I'll tell you about Bobby. He's not here, but it's like about me.

No one, everyone's on NDA. Everyone's on NDA. No one else will see this on the internet. Except I've been telling everyone. But I really think Bobby is the first person I ever met that will make anything funny. I really think him,

Bobby putting lotion on his hands is hilarious. He's just on Fighter and the Kid showing them the photo of his father dead. I know, see how we laugh at that. I'm already hearing that, it's hilarious. It's... He really is the only person

that can do stuff like that. That it takes something really sad more but even for himself, like his father, he tells us all the time, he still hasn't fully grieved or cried about it. Wait, his dad passed? Yeah, he passed four weeks ago. Almost a month now, right?

Yeah, he passed away a month ago so he had to fly over to Arizona. It was a little over a month ago. Yeah, go to Arizona. Mom, brother, Steve went out there. It was really tough on them. Is Steve okay? He's taken it hard.

I think him and his mom were able to share their emotions. They were able to cry, they were able to feel. Well, Bobby said when he first arrived, that's when he cried. But then when the father actually passed, he was able to share things, which is the weirdest thing to imagine, Bobby.

But who did you hear that from, Bobby? Yes, yes. We don't know what actually happened. Yeah, he could have got an entire check. He was put all the way, like a little bitch. Yeah. Nah, he was a little bitchy cry. I remember Bobby crying once

and taking selfies. Paint the picture, where was this? He was telling us a story once. I don't even remember if it was on a podcast or just like sitting around his friends. But he was telling us about how he cried the other day and we were like, shut up.

And he was like, no, look. And he had a picture. He had a series of selfies on his phone in the car of himself driving and crying. And we were like, what kind of psychopaths are you that... Did he ever explain to you or was it more for like...

I don't know. It wasn't for entertainment purposes. I think he just like had pictures. Dude, he's an artist. Is that what it does? It likes to show people. Today I felt something. I'm going to take a photo of it. Do you cry often?

I was going to ask you guys that too. I cry quite often now because I started going to therapy and I'm trying to be open to my girlfriend to be more vulnerable. How long have you been in therapy? Four months. Yeah, it's okay. He's going to beat his girlfriend.

Oh, you're in the thick of it. When I first started therapy, it was like, if I didn't cry, I didn't feel like I got my money's worth. Oh, damn. Bish, make me cry. Talk about my father. Talk about my childhood trauma. I mean, do you just talk about your parents? Yeah, it's more just like

also realizing some things about myself. I've been in my relationship for three years now. Getting ready to pop the question. Hold on. Does she know? Just keep it secret. There's NDA everywhere. NDA. I think I'm going to do like a whole flash mob thing because she's so like, she's a producer and she's low key. I don't like attention.

It's not even on social media. Wait, hold on. I'm so glad you're bringing this up. Yes. Don't do a flash mob. She's not on social media. I'm telling you she doesn't want it. She's already said that. She says, if you pull that kind of shit, get ready for a no.

So what are you doing? Asserting dominance. I respect this. There we go. You let her know who's boss finally. This Filipino flat face. Yeah. I think for me, it's like, I have to be true to myself. Like, I want to do it more for a bit.

Like I'm committed. Just stop. No. Awesome. You're getting engaged for all the wrong. You're married three times. You're getting engaged for all the wrong ends. You have experience. But also, I low key also want it to go viral. So Ellen will see it.

And I can go on Ellen's show and then Shutterfly can sponsor my wedding. That is my fucking goal. Just stop. Kalyla's here! How are you? We were talking about crying. I was thinking I cry more because of therapy now.

And I was going to ask her if she cries a lot more now. I actually don't cry that much. I'm not a crier. I only cry in movies. I don't cry in real life that much. You're kind of like Bobby. I'll cry at any commercial or any movie. The Voice or American Idol. The Voice?

I'm not a music fan. It's so weird. I'm just not that into music. I'd rather listen to a podcast. But when I watch The Voice, which I do religiously, something really touches my heart. And if someone sings a certain way,

I can't help but cry. There's a singing that gets you. It's not the parents, the older parent in the back crying. For me, it's the parents. If I see the parent watching their child, that's what destroys me. The actual singing, it's like, that doesn't touch me that way.

Have you seen America's Got Talent when they get the gold buzzer? I don't really like that show. The Voice is the only singing show with integrity. They have integrity? They have integrity. They don't even show the bad auditions. That's how much integrity they have.

And it's not just open call auditions either. They pick them. They select them. They have a whole process. They make it to the first round. And even really good people don't even make the audition. Because some people have been auditioning for like seven years.

One chick. So Bobby and I are in love with Kelly Clarkson. We want to just... Have you seen her show? She's got a new talk show. Of course she does, because she's made for that. Mother-in-law is Reba? Yes.

She's married to Reba's son. Yeah. How you been, Oz? I'm so sorry. Good to see you. Were you getting your tire changed as well? We were trying to figure it out. Well, no. What happened was I had to go home and check the dogs

because he was going to stay in fucking North Hollywood. We were supposed to ride together here. So then I had to scramble for transportation. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing with Bobby. He derails my day every day. Yeah. Well, Bryce is getting him right now, so that's good. Oh, really? Why is he getting him?

I haven't heard anything from Bobby. I set it up for Bryce to get him, but I haven't heard from Bobby yet. Oh, my God. Who cares? I said, do you want to sit here or do you want to sit there? You should sit there, and Bobby should be here. I know. We're talking about an all-female podcast for her. Let's test it out. Oz is too...

I mean, we could still easily do it. I'm fine. We've talked about an all-female podcast for a really long time. Really long time. I wish I still lived in LA. We could just fucking do it. Where do you live now? Philly?

Well, I'm in New York in Philly. I'm between the two places. I feel like that's where you belong, though. Kind of. Yeah, especially now. I loved LA for 10 years, and then in the 11th year, I was like, I'm done. Yeah.

So I'm happy to be back on the East Coast, but... I mean... You can't do cool shit like this on the East Coast. Yeah. So many things have happened since... You know, you were our first guest. Was I the first guest?

You were our first on-camera guest. We were saying that it was when we didn't have AC either that day. Remember? Well, we don't have AC either today. You run cold. I remember that. When we used to do DVD-ASA, I'd be sweating bullets,

and you'd have like three... A blanket. But yeah, you were our first on-camera guest. And it's been, what, four years? Have you guys been doing this four years? I think so. It's about that time now. A freshman in high school has graduated.

Oh, really? It's four years. Wow, an entire Olympic season. Yes. That's actually correct, because the last Olympics were in Brazil, right? Yeah. And then we talked about that one swimmer

and we were like, you see, we were already doing this podcast, and now Tokyo is... I'm fascinated with Ryan Lochte. Really? How deep? You can't go that deep. The guy doesn't have much going on. He's so stupid.

That it's like... Fascinating. You know how when someone's so good looking, they hinge on becoming really ugly? It's exactly that. So he's so stupid, that is the deepest shit I've ever heard. You know what that is like?

You know the Mike Tyson documentary? I haven't seen it. You guys have to watch it. That's exactly what that is. You're like, oh my God, is this the dumbest guy in the world? And then he says something so profound and poetic

that you're like, oh, he's brilliant. It's so hard to tell. But then if you think about it, maybe it kills certain parts of your front to low, but it activates other parts. Like all the

cells go to the back of the body. Right, that we don't have access to. Because we've never been punched by a Vander Holyfield. So we haven't accessed that next level yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's human consciousness. Yeah, that's sad to say, but athletes who get CTE,

like the brain injury or the... depression and high suicide rates if they've ever had full contact sports or... Is it like shaken baby syndrome, but for adults? Not quite, because shaken baby syndrome is like hemorrhagic, right?

It's like they're bleeding. Mostly by dads, by the way. Really? That's what I learned in nursing school. It's like 99, some like crazy amount. They don't just don't have the patients for babies like mothers do. Also, I heard that like

someone falls asleep and rolls over on a baby. Usually a dad. Because the mom has the instinct to wake up and be like, oh shit, I'm rolling over on my baby. We do that with our dogs now. I never roll over the dogs. Bobby always hurts the dogs. So it's true.

Did you let your baby sleep on your belly or close to you when you were newborn? I did so many things that I'm lying to my pediatrician about. I can't even like... Where do I begin? He slept like latched onto my boob and like you're absolutely not

supposed to do that. But also I was reading all these things and it's like in the rest of the world, people sleep with their babies. My parents did it. People have kids on their heads on a fucking scooter. If you saw the way kids were raised

in the Philippines, you'd be shocked. They're all alive. A little bit shaken in the head. A little bit of CTE, but they're alive. I think you're supposed to have belly time, right? Yeah, and skin-to-skin contact. Yeah.

Or overnight nipple latching. Of course, yeah, it's in all the books. No, because the key to keeping him asleep all night was just to keep him on my boob sucking all night long. You just didn't want to get woke up. It was such a cock block. But if I

would take him off of my boob and put him in the crib, he would wake up every 30 minutes. Oh. Yeah, why not then? Why not? My best friend just had a baby, and I realized that it really isn't fun

the first two months, maybe. They don't do anything, but just... And it's so heavy on the mother. I know there are great dads out there, but I don't care how great a dad you are. That's heavy on the mom. You're so right.

You're not wanting to kill yourself right now. I didn't know. First of all, your hormones are... That's some crazy shit. I never even dealt with PMS, so I didn't really know. This is some crazy, crazy shit. I'm out of it now,

so I can talk about it really easily, but it's really, really crazy. And on top of that, this baby is sucking out all the nutrients from your body, through your breasts, and you're recovering from giving birth, which is so traumatic. And also,

having a newborn is so boring. But you can't fall asleep. Or die. Or die. It's like driving in LA traffic. You're like, oh, I just want to close my eyes, but I can't.

I'm having a Tamagotchi with consequences. Actual consequences. Or watching a really shitty movie that you're friends in, sit there for two and a half hours and pretend like you're enjoying it. That sounds like it's pulled from something recent. Real life.

But before my best friend gave birth, we listened to your podcast of you and your husband, and it was so enlightening, because she's Korean, and her mom was the same. When she was like, oh, you know, I didn't know meds when I gave birth to you.

There was no pain. I didn't even feel the contractions. I got there, and they were like, the baby's halfway out. I felt that pressure to be really just mighty and strong during her pregnancy. And so initially, she went in there and she's like, nope, no meds, but third hour of the contractions, she was like, fuck that.

It's the worst pain I've ever felt. Did you do meds? So I didn't want to, because like Kalyla said, my mom didn't do it with meds. And then I watched that fucking Ricky Lake documentary called Business of Being Born. Yeah, thanks a lot, Ricky Lake.

But like, basically, it talks about how like, you shouldn't do an epidural, because like, whatever, whatever. I'm so over it. But like, no, but in hour 15, I did the epidural, and I was in so much pain that I was hallucinating.

And birth was so ugly and traumatic and not beautiful that Sean, my husband, broke out in a rash at the hospital. Like, I'm not joking you. Like, that's how traumatic it was.

It's like, it's the ugliest thing ever. It's not pretty, but you had a vaginal birth, right? I mean, C-sections are even more brutal. Yeah. They took all your organs out, though. I mean, it's women who are like...

If it's their third kid, and they just kind of want to get in, get out, and they have to be somewhere tomorrow. Not tomorrow, but like in three days, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's easier and harder. It's both. I think it's a longer recovery because it's a very invasive surgery.

And then you have to... I don't know, like, when I was in nursing school and I had to do all the time that we had a whole... We had to deliver babies, assist in delivering babies, assist with emergency C-sections, and those ones, they really got you, man.

They cranked, they don't... They're not nice about it. But I assisted in my friend's delivery. You did? Like, you were like a doula? Yeah, we pushed together, we did everything together. Oh, what? I cried right into her vaginal canal.

I never thought I'd be emotional about childhood. You lubricated it. Wow. No, because I'd seen so many births before, and I'd assisted before. So I was like, this is nothing. I was like, I got you, girl. And as soon as I saw the hair of the baby, Quinn's hair for the first time,

I bawled my eyes out right into her vagina, and I just was weak in the body. And I needed assistance, so then Jenna came around the corner and was like, you know, towering me off. It was a whole thing.

But I didn't think that it would affect me that deeply. Wow, that's crazy. That's beautiful. It's a friend, you know. It's a sister, basically. It is weirdly emotional. Did you pull out your own baby? No, you can do that. I think my arms are long enough.

Okay, low key, saw an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Yeah, with Kourtney, but that's your 11th baby. Pulled out a fucking baby. I was so shocked how no one was screaming, no one was yelling, no one was sweating. But they say the second, third baby is a lot easier. Because your uterus and your bones and your muscles are all

been there before, so they open up a lot faster, I think, and easier. Are you gonna have another one? I mean, I can't even fathom it right now. It's a boy or girl. It's a boy. It's a boy, and you know what?

I have to say, I had this image in my mind that I'm like, I was like, I'm gonna have this baby, but I'm still gonna be me. I'm still gonna love my job. I'm still gonna like, totally, this baby is gonna be so not even secondary.

It's gonna be the third thing in my life. Like, I'm like, starting to get really obsessed with him. So, yeah, I guess nature does that. But, or the opposite, if you know,

you get really bad postpartum and eat your baby. Yeah, or that. Or that. Or I'll think about like, shit. I don't eat your baby. No, I like him a lot. I love him a lot.

He's really cute, baby. What if he wasn't as cute as you? Okay, so here's the thing. I honestly was wondering, like the whole time I was pregnant, I was like, one, if he's not cute, will I love him? And I did not know the answer.

Two, what if he's like, deformed, will I love him? Wasn't sure of the answer. Also like, some kind of, I don't even want to say it, but like, you know. I'm not sure that like, I have the capacity to like,

love and give my all to this child who like, needs so much. Like, I just didn't think, but like, now that I have him, like, I absolutely know, like, if anything were like, quote unquote, wrong with him, or like, less than, you know,

perfect to like, conventional standards, like, I would totally love him and maybe I would love him even more. Because like, it's crazy. You know how I said, you're the face of Warnhub, you're the face of Muffin. I'm the motherhood brand ambassador. You should be, why not?

But it was, it's been, I don't want to say like, I don't think that I'm like, learning a new kind of love, it's not like that to me. And the love I have like, for my husband and stuff is still like, I don't want to say greater, but it's not like, I don't feel like, oh, I didn't know

what love is until now. Like, I know a lot of people say that, but I don't feel like that at all. But I do love him a lot. Wow. Don't look at me. No. I'm just doing this.

You know what? All the pressure of people telling me that I should give Bobby a baby is making my vagina just close up. And dry up. Are you thinking about it at all? She's not. No.

Bobby has this fantasy of what he thinks fatherhood is. So he thinks that he wants this child and his life will just go on as usual. I think of having a child and I think that I'll have

that'll be my eighth animal in the house. I have six animals, plus Bobby, plus a child. I, you know, I just, besides, you know, he's a really good financial supporter, but everything else is on me.

No, knowing Bobby and I love you both so much, that's absolutely what would happen. Thank you, also. I feel like you're the only one who gets how he really is. Sean is so helpful. Sean is honestly, and we both work from home, so we have it so much

easier than 90% of people already, right? Yeah. And I still feel like I'm doing everything and he's so helpful. And there are still moments where, like, I'm doing everything. I'm so overwhelmed. Yeah. And it's, I'm not doing everything. Like, he's, you know, but it's just,

there's so much shit that only you can do. That's number one. Yeah. And then number two, like, Bobby, he's, like, believe me. Like, he's not, he's not going to do half the work. He's got so much confidence you said that. Like, I love you guys.

He's not going to do half the work. Thank you. I feel so validated. Everyone's like, you know, love. I'm like, in spurts of five minutes a day. Yeah. And then he will post about it and then he will appear like the dad of the year. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's, it's performative for him. Everything is a show. So he will post a lot of great

baby pics way cuter than me and baby. He'll have that, his belly out and all of that. He'll get naked with a baby, take a photo. It'll be cute. Yeah. In any meantime. Yeah. In real life. Yeah. Just falling my eyes out every day. It's okay. You'll have a lot of fun with babies anyways.

And I promise all you guys listening, this isn't a lie. I'm not making this up to trash him. No. This is just who he is. Yeah. And that's not necessarily a bad thing because like Bobby has a lot of great things about him. Exactly. And that benefits him in a lot of ways. It's just that like, that would suck. I mean, almost, I guess you got it

like a nanny maybe. That's, that's the only so we've talked when we've talked about it. That's one of the stipulations I have. Is we have a live in nanny. Just not a nanny that just comes and goes. I want a live in nanny. I want basically

a stand in husband, wife or whatever. I want someone to be with me at all times. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I think that's like totally justified. Yeah. Cause otherwise it's going to be

a homicide very early on. On someone. On somebody. We don't know who yet. I want to show you this video that I took this morning because I've been getting, since we did the H3 podcast everyone's like, give him a baby and I hate when people say that.

Like I'm depriving him from an experience. Oh, gross. Give him a baby. Have you seen the H3 video? What? What happened to them the other day? What's H3? Oh, we ran into a wall. I'm going to show that. I want to hear it. There's a video from this morning. It's a five second clip and I just really want to post it

and badly awesome. He didn't want to go to a meeting this morning. That's what he did. Put it by the mic. No, there's no sound. It's just him crying. Going like this, reaching out for me like a baby. He is a bit.

Literally my baby sits like this. Like and does this. Like everything Bobby is doing in that video, he does. He also latches onto Clara's boob at night for comfort. He is cute though. That's cute.

That is very cute. But when I say that I have experienced all the great stages of motherhood, I have with him. Yeah, I believe that. I don't feel like I'm missing out on an experience because I feel all the feelings. The maternal feelings from a billion percent believe that.

Thank you. Awesome. You're the only person. Even Gilbert's not on my side about this. I'll have my own baby. You can play with my own baby. You can play with your baby fix. You're not having a baby anytime soon because you're planning on the worst proposal I've ever heard of in my life.

You're about to be. Did I miss it? Yeah. It was some cheesy YouTube bullshit proposal. It's called trying to get my wedding paid for by Ellen. That's the goal. Oh my God.

You've sold your soul to the devil. Also, he just told me that his girlfriend is on social media because she hates that kind of thing so much. She is, and she's so low-key, super cool chick. But listen. You would love that. I know.

But I would like to bring all her I was going to use her own production company hire all her people, not tell her. Have everyone, family, friends from all around the world, just who she's worked with on that day, and then do the flash mob because she hates when I dance in front of her. Do it. Listen.

Using her production. She's going to pay for it. I'm going to bill her. And then at the very end, when I actually propose and say what I want to say after the dance is done, I was going to have people cover us in a box or an enclosed thing. Just a bunch of strangers.

No, just enclosed us, us two by ourselves. That's claustrophobic. That sounds horrible. She likes spices. Honestly, like, literally the worst idea I've ever heard of. Or someone who's not even on social media

and like you say, like, oh, I'm going to call all her friends from all over the world. Like she would probably hate that. She would hate that. Does she even have birthday parties? No. Yeah. Imagine. Imagine if no one tells us how we're supposed to look to put our lashes on.

What is she even supposed to wear? I know if nobody told me that. I'll say this. I did think about that part and I didn't realize how important that is. Your nails? You know what I mean? And you're right, Kalylo. If she's going to be on Ellen, you need to send her to get her makeup done.

Yeah. That's the thing. I'm also, she knows I'm, because I would never be like, hey, babe, get your nails done for tomorrow. She'd be like, what the fuck is going on? And then would push the whole thing. I mean, like honestly, like, I feel like... I'll make it intimate. I want to just let you do it.

What if it's a fail? Because it will be a fail. Thank you for your support. And you'll learn your lesson. She leaves me. To be selfless. So typical of a man to just like... You've spent three years of your life

getting to know this woman deeply. That's true. And you're going to offer her an experience that she's going to despise. Give her the engagement of your dream. Wait. That's what I should title the video. The engagement of my dreams.

And that's what I even tell her. I'll have somewhere record a song called engagement of Gilbert's dreams. But this is always what Bobby and I argue about, because when we think... If we think about getting married, the reason we've stalled on the marriage thing is because

his idea of a marriage... Mine is just to elope somewhere. Agree. Cute. You know, just the both of us. His idea is no less than 500 guests. All his comic friends. He wants it to be... You know, at least make us weekly.

That's what he wants. That's hilarious. Like those words verbatim, I bet. At least make us. We're not going to make people, but we will make us weekly. Yeah. Might get like... I think you would make us weekly.

I think you'd make us weekly if you got eloped. No, we wouldn't. I think you would. Fully tabloid. They're the ones that fabricate all this. Maybe you'll get an inquirer. Fuck. I'll take it. A little like footnote on page 6.

The last page of HGTV's House and Homes magazine. The TV guy. Oh my god. What was your wedding like? I've never had a wedding. I've all three times. Twice I went... I got married in Vegas. The first one was a drive-thru.

Cool. The second one was Elvis. And the third one we just went to City Hall. Yeah. Did a flash mob. Yeah, that's cool. The thought of a wedding is so cringe-worthy to me.

I don't celebrate my birthday. Same here. I don't like that kind of attention. I completely agree. I was in New York a couple weeks ago and it was this just four-day Indian wedding. And I was in the bridal party.

I love the bride. I love my friend very, very much. But I'm so... I just realized I'm actually not very good with people. Especially in a wedding setting. And I think that the other bridesmaids just fucking hated me.

She was told she had to learn to dance at one point. Oh, that's annoying. Like a nine-minute dance. Oh, that's annoying. Bollywood dance too. Yeah, and I really wanted to be down for her to make her happy. So I did one minute of the nine-minute dance. Can we get a video?

Oh, God. I'm so glad that doesn't exist. But again, it was a nightmare even for me as just being in the bridal party. Right. I can imagine what she went through. The stress of all of that. Also the prospect of having your parents

and your friends in the same place. Not interested. I'm just not interested in combining the love to meet the his side and then your side and hope they get along. Not happening. No. No. And while we're at it,

I hate what really grinds my gears with Asa Akira. I hate that when you marry someone, their family is your family now. I know. That's annoying. That is. Like, come on, I'm marrying the guy, not the family. But do you feel that way?

What's your relationship like with your in-laws? That being said, they're, we get along. And they're not around that much. So it's kind of perfect. Are they aware of your profession? Yeah, they're totally aware.

They're cool with it. And it's honestly kind of a dream scenario. I always said I'd want to just marry an orphan. And the next best thing is like them. Orphan's still a dream of mine. Every girl's dream.

To marry an orphan or be an orphan? Yeah, because then they just become like a male angler fish. You almost just, eventually you just bring them into your world so much because they don't have their own world. That they just become an appendage. And then you fuse together. That's really romantic.

But as a woman, as a female angler fish, you stay big and bright and you have the bulb over your head and he's just a little appendage. And they need you. And they need you so much. That's just my dream. To have a bulb. Gosh.

So today I got a text from a friend. We were talking about like Bobby and the whole dad thing. And I sent her the video of Bobby acting like a baby and she's like, what is that? That doesn't mean anything. He's going to be a good dad. And then she tells me that she has her and her husband or she,

when they role play, she pretends to be a paraplegic. And this is what she said. And I really, I thought, I was like, I wanted to ask you if this was some type of porn that people get off on. She says, okay, we play this game where I'm paraplegic and I can't move. So I make him feed me and turn me over.

Not to have sex, but for my circulation. So she's lazy, right? No, she's not. She's actually a fitness instructor. Oh. Maybe that's her fantasy scenario. Yeah. Isn't it interesting how like the fantasies

are very often the opposite? Yeah. And that falls right into that. And she says, I tell him that it's unconditional love and that he has to prove to me he can take care of me and love me. I mean, that's pretty romantic. Okay.

That is a fetish. In fact, I've been wanting to fuck up paraplegic or quadriplegic. And I almost kind of did. I think I remember you saying this. But he was kind of a dick and like I was married

to someone else at that time and like whatever. It didn't happen. But also I think it's my grandfather what had a stroke and when I was a baby. So my whole life he was paralyzed on the right side of his body and he was in a wheelchair had to relearn how to speak

like could not do anything. Basically. Like my grandma had to like literally wipe his ass. And so for me, like that is like like when I when I love someone I'm like would I stay with them if they ended up in a wheelchair?

And that's like kind of like my test of like and would they do that for me? So that's I feel like I can relate to that. Like someone loves you so much that they would like wipe your ass and like you know?

I mean at first I often think about this and unfortunately for me I know the answer if anything were to happen to me there's fucking no way in hell I think that he would stay with me for the optics

and you know for the long suffering which he's addicted to he's addicted to suffering to some degree for the op but mostly for the optics he can't just bounce right away that would just be a bad but you don't think he would just stay with you forever?

No he'd hire somebody George to wipe my ass for the next 30 years or John Na You think? I don't know I feel like he would like not even like do the right thing

I think you guys are like past the point of leaving each other if something horrible happens. Is that a point that people pass? Yeah my grandparents they're really old now in their 80s they do shit like that for each other and I don't think they would have thought of doing stuff like that

I think that happens when looks start to deteriorate a little bit like in the 50s and you're like fuck it I'll take the fucking sidecrust in your mouth I'm not gonna start all over now Bobby and the house Who's this?

Welcome to Tiger Belly with Kalyla and Asa Akira we were talking about whether or not you'd take care of me if I was a paraplegic so would you? Wait he's connecting with John now they do this all the time Hold up for a second

Hello, where's the baby at? I didn't bring him I want to see your little baby baby He's really cute. Really? Yeah Life changer? You'd be an asshole if it didn't change your life You really would Can I say something?

You look the same I know you look the same. Actually looks skinnier Stretched back into the normal face I did lose a lot of weight right away I was worried about a lot of that and that stuff Yeah

You put drool on? They're actually not drooling I just got them tattooed and last time I was here I just got them tattooed And I texted Kalyla I was like fuck I just got my eyebrows done so I look a little crazy

and she goes just so you know and she will definitely notice and he will definitely point it out Sure enough Because I never thought an eyebrows were a thing growing up Did you as a guy, I never looked in the mirror and went My eyebrow?

My eyebrow could have catch on fire one of them and I would just never do anything about it Male privilege Never thought about my eyebrows One could be green, one could be orange for some reason I don't give a fuck But then now I meet my grudest girl and her friends

They're all in the eyebrows baby Are you into eyebrows now? I don't know about that life I'm the opposite I take really crappy care of my eyebrows so they're always coming down to my lids No I mean me too though But I get them tattooed, that's why

And is your tattoo lady out here? I'll give you her number if you want I don't think I need anymore brows Wait are those filled in? Barely They need like a month and a half But it's a problem because they'll grow all the way down to my cheeks if I don't take care of them

They spread to like your eyelashes How's your day sweetie? It's great, because also our family is like family and we haven't seen her in so long I don't even know where to begin She had a baby, she lives in Philadelphia What are you doing out there? So I'm still between

New York and Philly But like in Philly I have a big house and in New York I have a 600 square foot apartment because it's like not great But yeah, so I'm just like I'm just now actually starting to like re-emerge Like for a second there

I was like housebound, I may as well have been on house arrest Cause you're light dimmed a bit My light dimmed My light dimmed for sure But it was reborn like a phoenix It's reborning You feel the reborning?

I feel like coming out now But yeah, it was dimmed for a minute It's just the hormones I think and like the trauma of labor and giving birth and also the trauma of like like my therapist was saying like that I was grieving for my old life

Yeah So, but like honestly like now that he's also becoming more of a person like it's really exciting Yeah So if I walked up to him I go, hey, what's up? Would he say stuff to me

or no? No, he's a baby Well, he wouldn't go, what's up, bye bye Yeah, no, nothing like that? It's not even like close to that Well, how old, when do they talk? He just started like pulling himself up I don't know when they talk Probably three or terrible twos

That's why they call it terrible twos No, year and a half, they start to say a word or two They say no They breathe right away though This one didn't You guys Actually, I can't believe I didn't tell you before This was so scary when he came out

of my vagina he was completely blue and he was like this like I'm like like chin to my chest just completely like the most I've never seen anything look so dead like it was just completely lifeless and then all these like doctors

started coming in and they like rushed him like there was a bed next to me like four babies under the lamp I'm sure you've seen that Are you going, what's going on? Are you saying stuff? Yeah, we were like what's going on and they were like oh everything's fine

because they try to keep you calm and then finally we heard him cry but it was so scary They do the suction, a lot of the suction slap him They put him under the lamp No, they don't do slap anymore It's a reoccurring kind of thought

or nightmare that I have that like Kalyle's giving birth and then the baby comes out It is a nightmare because check it out and they wash, you know how they wash it they wash the baby when it comes out? No, they don't do that now

because they want the bacteria But do they take it away at some point and bring it back? They're not supposed to take it Ideally, they don't take it away In my In my scenario They clean the baby

In my scenario, they clean the fucking baby They take it away because I've never been in a situation like that before Oh my god, thank you Gilbert And when they bring it back, it looks exactly the same but I know it's not, it's a government

In my fantasy It's a government switcheroo It's a government switcheroo Hang on, but I'll tell you why that's already not true It's like us Did you guys, even at Kaiser they put a security lock on the baby's foot? Yeah, they did that

at my thing too For that exact reason You can't even take it like past a certain point inside the hospital or else all the alarms off You know, you can't even explain your fantasy to people You can't even dream anymore

You know, that's all wrong You can't fly It's just cancel culture Yeah, you guys are such assholes I come in here and you know what, you're acting a little weird right now You're a little standoff We're beyond where we're at You and I, you fucker

You two go fuck yourselves I'm gonna come back in the room Hold on, where have you been? There have been multiple stories going around What do you think happened to me? I think the tires changed Did you get a flat tire?

Yes Did you though? Fuck you We told her and she questioned us He did, but ask him when A week ago I thought you were it Okay, so

I don't even know What's the funny Why funny though? Why funny You're trying to play it off You were on your way here and you got a flat tire I did get a flat tire It's your lie

It's your lie Did I not get a flat tire? A week ago You don't know about lying and my skills I know all about your life Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, so

I didn't get a flat It was last week But I did not get it changed until just now And then here's how desperate I got Because I don't even know if this is a factor But they go, you're gonna have to wait three days Because we don't have that brand of tire

I go, just put on a Is it circular? Put anything circular on 2013, three door Prius Three doors Yeah, we have circular tires Put that on So you came back with another spare

No, it's not a spare It's a regular tire I don't know if it's exactly the right Why did you turn away just now? Something happened came out of your mouth That was really gross I wish I didn't witness that No, I don't know what happened

Are you pregnant? This is what I see And I go Did you just have a mini stroke? I think Gassados Gassados almost came out I gotta start over Come on

Bad vibes We'll pretend that you aren't here Are you guys wearing the same hat? That's so cute It is, that's adorable Teddy Fresh Our friend's owned the company See, he's not gonna leave you if you get in a wheelchair

Ask him, you guys are wearing matching hats He's not gonna leave you We just got these for free like yesterday So we have to Is he coming back? I don't know, but that was so funny

I actually did not know that until he mentioned that And the only reason that he had to change it was because I said you have to drive all weekend to Oxnard back and forth three different times You can't go in three wheels Bobby

Oh my god Dude, we were lost without you Where were you? Good to see you, Asa Hi, Bob You look great, you look the same I'm sure the baby's not here Really good to see you

So you live in Philly Have your body stretched down You haven't changed and we're family still, right? You really do miss us I do miss you guys There are maybe 20 people that I really do

miss being able to see I do miss And even just like I was telling you earlier I miss being able to do a podcast with someone in New York that doesn't exist It does

In certain circles it does I guess I'm not in that circle Amongst comics it is a thing but I think it's more in LA, it's more actor Just different people Everyone has a podcast in LA

And everyone does it in their home In New York people are renting out a room in the whatever I don't know When was that when you saw Dave? I saw Dave not that long ago He came to my house when I was pregnant

For that thing Oh, that's right He's doing a show Did you like it? I liked it I always enjoy seeing Dave But like He's

What is your thing? This is Dave 7.0 He painted me It was like a yellow What was it? Like a yellow line A yellow line down and I go, that's it

I think of anything, dude You're an artist You can create something Then he does like a race thing where it's like a black thing in the middle of a canvas The final product he actually goes home and does

Right? Then he finished it on my own face Bobby became the canvas I had the photo and then I go, that's the last time I saw him No, I went to his house He just saw him But are you back to work?

I'm back to work So the first thing my first job back to coming out of having a baby I went to Ibiza to host a party for Pornhub for the Gumball Have you guys heard of this thing?

It's this thing that billionaires do They get very, very, very expensive cars and get like race car drivers and they drive at like 300 miles per hour from country to country and stop in every major city and just like party their asses off

The way like only like billionaires do Oh wow And so we hosted the part Pornhub hosted the party that was like the final stop in Ibiza It started in Mykonos or something So I took the baby It was awesome

By the way, they paid all this extra money so I could take the baby because I was still breastfeeding They've been just so cool Because you're an absolute anomaly Now I'll tell you why because number one you're great at your previous thing

that you did, right? You look exactly the same but here's the second thing that you do is that you could be a sports broadcaster I don't think anyone has ever given porn a good of a name as you have

And that's why Pornhub is like fuck, we got right, this is a gold mine here And you're a businesswoman Thanks for saying that but also like thank you for saying that also they're a Canadian company and Canadians are like notoriously

kind to mothers Pornhub is Canadian? Yeah in Montreal Let me ask you about Pornhub What is it? Oh come on No, no, no, no

I know what porn is I generally know what Pornhub It's a site It's like YouTube for porn But Pornhub, they don't produce porn What they do is they take other companies they'll put new sensations

or red light district What's porn? Are those real companies? New sensations But they're also really dated Let me just throw some Pornhub and see if they're dated or not

So we've got Devil's films They don't even exist But there was a place None of the companies mentioned Or I could be wrong No, I've seen you on them And I fast forward through your

I know, but I fast forward through your face It makes me so upset when I see it I don't even click on Asian like the little specific In case awesome might show No, she's If you go to a broad free site

or even a cheaper paid site that has a bunch of shit and they have these rich engines But that's why There's like 5 girls But that's why if you are an Asian woman that wants to get into porn

you will be successful 100% High demand low supply No, it's not just that It's Asian women that have English accent Because they have a billion of them For some reason when they're in Thailand

Nothing Because I know what you're laughing I don't know why I know why, but I don't know why All three of us I don't know why either Explain to me why you laughed Just see if you can

It might be You said American accent That's what's appealing Is the American accent No, but what it is It's when they're from Thailand Or I think that every other person does it

Oh My brain did not go In my head It's not special because They all do it Americans in baseball I'll tell you why This is why I don't watch

Eastern European porn either Because I know that The males We're all fighting And they all died Are forced to do porn In Eastern Europe It seems

Sad to me Why are they all dead? When you have places like Bosnia These places that Are constantly in war Either a civil war Or somebody's invading them

The men go out to fight And the women stay at home Back in the day, that's been the thing So there's more Women Than men What? These Thai bitches

Of course women are staying home And Eastern Europeans are sad Everyone in Thailand does porn All of Eastern European men are dead They're all dead Alright, you know what I agree I know you don't agree

You don't have to agree She doesn't have to agree What I have to say is that There was a better way to do that I don't remember what we were talking about You're making fun of me just now That really hurt What was I making fun of?

I know, so here's the deal I get what you're saying What I'm saying is that When there's women That are Asian With an American accent It just seems more I can't explain it, John

But she said it was like High demand And not as many of them It should have just ended there She explained it in four words And you went on a tangent I know And you said all Eastern European men are dead

I don't know why I did that I'm so sorry To Eastern European women There's a coldness I just in my head I think that when I'm watching I don't watch Eastern European women Or Thai women because I just feel like

It's because they're poor They do it God Wow And you know what, Gilbert I wish for one I'm supporting you right now Because you haven't said anything

I agree They're poor It's really hard to co-sign all that today I have to leave the room and come back Okay, we'll pretend that none of this happened Everyone when he comes in That was his immortal combat When you're like, finish him

That was his finishing move Finish him Fatality Everyone clap as you come Let's go Bobby Where you been? So anyway

Pornhub So Pornhub Do you pay for Pornhub? You can, yeah There's a free side of porn Which is just like YouTube You can just go on and watch any video you want for free And then as the content creator

Or the person uploading the video Me If I choose to upload something That's going to be shown for free Then I get, it's just like YouTube Like I get like a cent per Like a thousand clicks or whatever it is I forget what the exact numbers were

But same model as YouTube And then there's also like Subscription based services And you can sell individuals Wow, that's interesting Pornhub, you'll generally have You'll be able to see porn

That the bigger companies Right, don't have A private person Let's see George and I were gay Just two gay guys, we're gay couple We're living here in this place John's gay too He doesn't live here though

He lives here too, we're all gay Us three are like, Gilbert too Us four, there's two too You chose all the guys Right, and we're just sitting around Why didn't you just say you and Kalayla? I'm not in his sphere You're right, you're right, you're right

Because he's progressed, he wants to include everyone Because it's more funnier this way It's more funnier this way Okay, I'll agree with that, it's funnier It's funnier when it's gay So we, us four go, hey guys I have a video camera I just go

It looks so funny I'm not even done It's funny because it's gay I come home, I'm coming home So us three are at home, I'm cooking I work, because in this scenario I already work somewhere Hold on, are you guys

I work at that veggie grill Okay, but in my cinema And I cook that nacho cheese thing That they have, it's so good So I'm the nacho guy Yeah Are you guys just roommates or are you guys Oh, are we gay roommates?

We're gay fuckers You're gay fuckers No, we're open We're in relationships with all four of us But we're also open Who's the fourth? George, John, Gilbert and I Are all live here together

I think I want to fuck John So John, Gilbert in the scenario Gilbert So Gilbert I thought you were all fucking each other Forget it, forget it What was the point? The point is, let's suppose I go

We filmed the porn Do I just upload it? If a lot of people hit on it First you have to prove that you're 18 and above And then you get verified that way You submit yourself, that takes like A day A human being just looks at your ID

Make sure you're over 18 And then you upload your video It's super easy It's cool because it cuts out the middleman Of a producer, you get to collect royalties It's like a really It will make money then I'm making the most money I've ever made

While I've been in porn And I'm not even shooting for mainstream studios I'm only shooting for Pornhub and just myself What a brilliant fucking thing It's really like a luxury That didn't exist when I got into porn I think it's

So lucky for people getting into porn now If that changed Our society And Technology Has changed the world But it's also changed porn And music and everything

It's interesting to see people reinvent themselves Even porn stars Would probably have to in the last 20 years Reinvent themselves and go The system's different, we gotta figure this out And that's a great thing that they have But same in comedy, right? You guys are making a fucking

Like Insane amount of success with this podcast Well no, I didn't want to say like It's okay But like It's not like before Where you would have had to Go through a studio

And I don't even know What the old business model was But it's not like You have to be signed on by the studio And then wait for them to come around to you Like you can just make your own stuff And if it takes off What's great about now

Is that there was maybe 10 people That had to like you For you to make it in comedy I mean, essentially the guys that are like Like In You know, they Have their own chunk of movies that they make

And then like Todd Phillips has his own You know, people have their own Like There's a lot of doors There's maybe 10, 12 At Happy Madison would be one In terms of movies, right?

In comedy In terms of stand-up HBO Maybe do a special at Netflix This and that, but you know There's a change and now Because of YouTube Everyone can do it Right

So it's like Four Tech Right, so I did it the old school way I went to a club, I worked it for many years I opened, I featured You know what I mean? Didn't know money So I had to do it the old way

But then once I kind of got a name Then all of a sudden the internet happened And other people made it Hold on, I see it so differently than you Like the opposite, because you already had a name When this internet shit hit And the podcast thing hit The ground running

Whereas there's a lot of kids Podcasting out of their basement now And they're never going to make it Because there's so many people Yeah, because I did that Other work to get there But now you're here Right

Is there a part of you that wishes you and Dave continued And actually generated? I had so much fun doing that show You were also massive So the amount of money you could have generated From that We never made money off of that Dave only spent money

You guys could have created a religion Yeah But also I think it was destined to Go to shit I think it was toxic for everyone involved Including me, including you I don't think so for me either

I think it was good for you It was terrible for me Oh yeah, I've said things on there It was terrible for you Yeah, like the very first thing You've ever said about her The first big sentence Literally before we even met her

The abortion What was it? We don't even need to Just tell me what it is and we'll cut it out Sexual things between you and I You punching me? Sticking my tip in? John

Wait, hold on John And what is this special connection That obviously John and Bobby have That's like impenetrable Bobby only likes other Koreans He thinks Filipinos are Are poor

Poor and of course they're doing Porn That's not what I meant Anyone listening can rewind this tape And figure out what I meant But that's not what I meant Okay Okay

Good to see you Asa John is a guy You know how I met George No I was a part of this thing called Maker Studios Okay A collaborative Company of a bunch of internet stars

Getting together and creating a company I was there That's where I met this fucking guy He wanted to produce my shit I thought he was a loser But then over time I fell in love with him And he became my guy He used to work at Maker as well

He still does, right? But I met them through there I just like John because John Really does smile What does John do here? He's a cameraman He actually used to be on a Casim G show

He used to help with that Oh, I did that show You don't remember him No, I don't remember John Oh, you don't I remember doing the show You guys, give me a break I know, I know

You're forgettable, John That's literally what you're saying That's the last thing we were But I really didn't know That anyone was manning that camera Because it's literally on a tripod And has not moved Once

I don't know what his point is We just love him there Right there, man This would have been great If we want to get you in our new house It looks beautiful We need you there We need you there

The next time you're in town We'll do it in that place When did you move? We're still kind of Halfway here, halfway there I came in, I walked in here And the first thing I said was It's so clean in here

And then he's like, oh, yeah, they moved out Yeah, yeah, yeah We're out And you know what? I can't believe I never lived in a house before What's different about it? It's just waking up And looking to my left

And seeing all that grass And that swimming pool And going, oh, that's all mine I don't have to We can walk out there naked It's our property It's great Private, it's roomy

It's just Farmer relaxing This is great, but in my 20s Once you go from apartment to house It's hard to go back to apartment, I think Are you in a house now? I had never lived in a house Until

My last few years in LA And then once I moved into a house And then I moved to New York I was in an apartment again And I was like, this sucks I only have one bathroom There's no outdoor space It was just horrible

I got so spoiled by LA And that's why the house in Philly Because there are no houses Nothing I can afford In New York How far is Philly from? An hour and a half Driving in LA

Driving in an hour and a half Is nothing to me I play Philly sometimes If I'm in Philly Come stay with me Would I be able to see you? Of course Maybe you're traveling around the world

I don't know what you're doing I'm half the time in New York I'm still back and forth But Yes, I am I'm really in love I'm like Embarrassingly in love

But do you know that her husband Was a high school boyfriend, right? I knew him since I was 14 I just started following him He's also really hot He's pretty hot So you knew him at 14 And then

How did you reconnect with him? We've been in touch this whole time And I've been on and off with him A lot Through my whole Since I was 14 But this time It kind of clicked

What was the What was different about this time? Not just different But when did you How was it like to kind of Decide together again? Okay, do you want to meet up? I usually avoided meeting up with him

Because he's always been the one Like, if we meet up It's just going to be drama for me Because I was in a relationship I was married So I was always avoiding it But then I was getting divorced anyway

So I was like, cool, let's meet up And then it was just like But when you met up The intention wasn't To re-spark a love, right? Was it just to see an old friend? It wasn't the intention It was like, I knew

There was a good chance You know what I mean? And you knew what he looked at through Just Instagram And you knew what he looked like And we'd been in touch the whole time And he just got out of a relationship I just got out of a relationship

And he never wanted to be with me While I was in porn And he was very supportive From a far kind of thing He's proud of me But he was always like Nah, I just can't I'm too jealous

Which is understandable I respect that He knew that and didn't Tell me something And then three months down the road Yeah Try to get me to quit or something And then this time we started

Fucking and then I was just So in love with him He was definitely the main reason For shooting for big studios I left my wicked contract Wow He was definitely the main reason for that But I'm also at the point of my career

Where now I can do my porn hub stuff I'm making more money there anyway And I feel like Had he asked me two years ago I would have said hell no But now I'm like I did it for a long time It's out of my system

I had a good run I was hired But I'm still capitalizing But your name though is so cool Even on a font I'm being real In terms of everything You could get clothes

And swords And fenders for cars I don't give a fuck What happened? I can probably stay for 15 more My name was A problem when I started In porn

They were like it's not going to work They wanted to change it I think Now looking back maybe Because it's not a familiar name You just went by Acura before I did When I was a stripper though

And also it's my real name I was just sick of going by two names It's hard work You don't know what to introduce yourself as I was having this weird identity crisis I was like I'm just going to keep my name But everyone I met In the early days when I was talking about getting

Contracted to companies and stuff They were like man that name We don't know how to pronounce it People won't know how to spell it I know But yeah It's Cool now

It's perfect I think about your name all the time I really do in terms of What's your name I really do What is that Yeah I don't even know what the font names are though

Do you know any? Bookman Old Style Helvetica That's like the one Steve Jobs invented or something Wait hold on It's back now He had time to invent a font She has to go do the one on

Let's do an unholy advise and then go A what? Unholy advise at the end of our thing That sounds great Unholy advise with Bobby That is you guys Here is some backstory to my dilemma My wife and I have been married for six years

And we are of different race ethnicity I'm Hispanic and she is Asian And what we're out and about It is inevitable that some people will stare at us Because we are a biracial couple From my experience Mostly older Asian men Seem to be the ones that give us disapproving looks

With most others just stare at our curiosity With their eyes At the beginning I didn't pay much mind at all But I'm getting older and probably grumpier And it's starting to bother me Because it reveals that there are tons of small minded people out there I'm wondering what are your thoughts on a Passive aggressive response to give to people when they stare

Or what trick should I learn To be able to go back to not caring And letting it go How good looking are you guys? Cause We don't get looked at at all But I don't know if you want to question I hope it doesn't come across You guys are you guys

Even when strangers look at us they regret it I can see when people look at me They go Wait, hold on That's not fair to group you guys in the same group No, no, no, this is what Kali looks fucking gorgeous And you are

Very cute I love you so much He's a fucking king And no, you know what You are wonderful in so many ways Bobby and like you're the funniest person I've ever met in my life But like Kali is gorgeous

You're talking to like a kid that just got a participation award Or something I love you, you're my son No, but it's not fair Like you can't be like people look at us and regret it Like Kali was No, okay, no The follow up question was

I'm not saying you're ugly This was the follow up question I hope it doesn't come across as insulting But I'm wondering if both of you guys Bobby and Kali ever deal with this due to the height difference No I'm also very I don't pay attention to

People around me that closely But you guys would also never know Because you're famous We Dress really badly When we go out Yes, so people look at him And they'll confirm that it's him

When they look at me Is that Bobby Lee and they see a taller girl You're like the tattoo on his arm Yeah, they're like, oh yeah, that is him Yeah So you would never know if someone was looking at you For your race difference But they don't look at us

For the race difference Not in LA that seems so unlikely Where do people live? Maybe Utah Maybe Utah, because it does happen in Utah So what should he do? Should he say a comment back to these people When they're just staring or should he just let it go

It's in his head Yeah It's in his head, man Because I can't see that For me, I've seen A guy that's 6'9 with a dwarf Woman On his shoulder

Like a parrot You're talking about a pirate? I think you're talking about a pirate Sorry, my bad Let's suppose What he's saying is true And they live in Utah in a very small town And they're getting

Stairs from They can't be true because they're getting stairs from Asian men Because the girl is Asian And he's Mexican This cannot be in Utah, it's impossible You know what's the least selling Combination in porn Oh, it's in Texas

Which one? Black man, Hispanic woman It's considered No company will shoot it I don't know if that's still true Black men and Hispanic women in porn Together That coupling

Apparently it just Doesn't sell And they individually sell a lot Black dudes in porn Are the most highly coveted People But that couple specifically Apparently it just does not sell

And black dudes white girls That's like super Sell I've seen you with a lot of black dudes Black Asians are huge Right? Definitely sells They're not looking for

Because I feel like that's the most Common of the coupling Black guys and Latinas would be Pretty common in society Maybe they don't want IRL I have a porn idea Don't want to get out there And I'm being real

Excuse me He's being real though It's not offensive, this is a real question I'm being real Imagine this is like I'm going into combat zone Was that a company? What?

Was combat zone? Was combat zone a company? Literally every company you're naming Is so old You're aging yourself bro You haven't named one new company Or one still to watch Max hardcore

Max hardcore That's way We're going way So what's the question? Meat holes I remember meat holes Meat holes breaks my heart I need that guy and interview him

He's so angry He's so angry I know what he's angry about But anyway What were you even talking about? You had a question I used to Not anymore

But I used to belong to a site Called Videos He still does Can I just get finished with that Like videos with a Z Why a fight? I have never stopped you from watching porn

Videos has all the companies Not all the videos But they branched They have red light district But there was this one I forgot which company it was But they had one video they made It's just young chicks

With ugly dudes I want to see porn I'm being real And I think a lot of ugly dudes Would like to see slobby fat Ugly dudes fuck hot chicks on camera That's a niche There's a site called

I can't believe I fucked her dot com Like an ugly dude That just gets blown by beautiful women Yeah But I mean like I'm happy for you That you want to see that But I don't want to shoot that

Like I don't care what a guy looks like If he's funny and I like him And we're vibing But in porn Where our only connection is sexual I don't want to fucking ugly dude Some of us

Not me saying I'm not saying me But some people Not John and I When guys watch porn They like it when I tell the woman Doesn't like it

Yeah I feel like everyone in Japan The whole country Jumping on that Bobby Lee generalization train But I feel like In Japan the girls never really really I don't know why I feel so creepy right now

I just feel like I did something sexually bad You're fine Anyway She has to go back We could do a podcast together You and us We could do hours I know

I have a heart out at Seven or whatever That's actually an hour and a half Which is a normal length of a podcast But I just know when I'm talking to you guys It's literally like four hours have passed And we're like I miss you guys so much

Thank you so much for being here We love you so much We have to take a photo Pornhubpodcast.com Guys make sure you go watch that and check her out As the host of this year's Pornhub Awards Bye Yeah

We never remember to take a photo Guys you have to see this left king live Bobby will be in San Antonio Arlington Brea San Francisco He'll be in Colusa San Diego Make sure you go to bobbilylive.com Get those dates and tickets

Get your questions answered by Tiger Bell You can go to adviceunhelpful at gmail.com Remember send us some fun interesting weird questions That you haven't heard before And we'd love to give you some unhelpful advice Once again that's adviceunhelpful at gmail.com Follow everything Clialet, Clam, BK Bobby at

BobbyLive, George, George, George, of course, Kimmel Myself at Gilbets Falls Tiger Belly on Instagram at Tiger Belly And guys if you can see on the photo I'm wearing a shirt right now Me walking down the street shirt We're doing a reprint with two types of colors With new remixed colors of like a

Summary vibe Make sure you get those at the store At thetigerbelly.com We will be releasing these soon And we'll stay tuned on our Instagram And our Twitter To see when we launch These shirts

There's also another surprise Item that we'll also be releasing It's a hoodie So guys enjoy the rest of your night On this show, we love you Music plays Music plays Music plays