TigerBelly - BonusBelly: Jamar Neighbors & The Wrong Nipple

Episode Date: September 2, 2019

Bobby introduces a new Murphy. Jamar is old school comedy store. Khalyla is a little Asian. We talk peeling vaginas, peas & carrots, & queefing 'em off the stage.  Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today It's Vainian thick, huh? Yeah, but um, but don't say anything until I say your name. Okay. All right You promise? So I do a little intro this and that you know and And whatnot Okay What's up five wait wait, I'm not ready. Okay, you good though. I'm ready whenever you are captain. I don't know You good though. I'm good. All right This is very special for me and that's why I don't want to do it the same old way

Mm-hmm. I want to feel it out. Okay, you know my gut says go this way Okay, but my dick says go this way and they conflict But sometimes I follow my dick. Yeah, I'm gonna go with my gut. Oh, so start from the top five four Hey, you're going up a tiger, right? Mm-hmm. Welcome to Hawaii Aloha Hawaii not we're not we're in Hollywood. Okay, but let me say something mahalo to all of you in here and um You know, let's not talk about my dad

All right, you know, my dad died last Sunday. Oh, yeah I think he cued you He just went like this. Yeah, but um, so anyway We were thinking about what what new guests we can bring on and we know we came through the week We had some bunch of names. Maybe we'll have someone so on or what isn't that and I just in the back of my head I'm at what's that fancy black guy that's at the store all the time. He's fancy. He's dynamic And I'm going to tell you something about this guy, man Here's I don't know much about him. We did a tv show together. We'll talk about that in a second, but

You know, a lot of times I I'm at the comedy store and I say to the people around me. I go This feels not right And they go, what do you mean? I go it just seems corporate and the comics that we have here Really don't really show You know what the comedy store is all about and the kind of people it attracts Because sometimes now you got segura bro kreischer. They're family men. Let's be honest. They're not wild They're not from deadwood. You know, they don't show their dick Right in their veins, right?

But this motherfucker right here Two weeks ago he pulls up. Yeah, he has a full blown mohawk. Okay, and I don't want to say something I don't want to get racial But you have a really nice ass It's poofy You know, you know, you know something they and I don't want to say that in a Derogatory way. I think they're delicious. I don't you see a lot of juice in it. Yeah, the ass. Oh, okay, right? And I'm not gay. You know that but I can say to you

juice Not in a not in oj I should say something else. Yeah You're clouds clouds your cloud ass I love it, man, but um, let's give them around jamar neighbors everybody And he you can talk now Yeah Come on sitting that ass, but is your you know, honestly, do you see look at your ass in the mirror or not? I do

You do, right? I do it. I'm like, man. Yeah, you know, this is good But this is what's keeping me at like straight man and not in jail, dude I'm like, dude, you go in there, man. It's a wrap for you This ass is Right. So you don't commit crimes because you know what would happen to you in prison. Yeah, man. Yeah, what would happen? Yeah, man, I would uh, I would uh You know, I would have sex with a lot of men But not not willingly

Yeah, yeah, would you fight or no? Yeah, I would have to yeah. Yeah, but I mean Because I'll be honest with you when sometimes you walk by And god, you know, if that was a woman I might tap it dude. Sometimes I sometimes I say my brother ass picks in jail, dude What do you mean only only ass pictures? I'll shine my Oil oh really just take a picture of that shit and I'll just mail it to him in prison Well, your brother's in prison for real. Mm-hmm. Why? Uh for uh, I think I think I don't know for sure, but I think it

I bet it was flocking What what's flocking? I think flocking is Yeah, I think flocking is like when you're being a lookout for someone who is burglarizing Oh, that's what flocking is. I think so. I think I'm a flocker in heart. I don't burglarize, but I'm a good watcher Burglarize, what do you got burglarize? Burglar burglarize. How do you say it burglarize burglarize? Burglarize there we go But you know when I said it the first time baby people got it. Yeah, I got it. You don't have to call it out I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was my bad. That was my bad. Yeah, my shit nice though, man

I know like dude. I've been seeing that as of late. Yeah, man. I've noticed that about your shit, man What about mine? Uh, it's I mean I don't know. I don't even know how you think of shit, Bobby What is my ass what flat to you? Like my face is that what you want to say? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, bro. No, let me say something right now Mine might not have the juice that your ears has. Yeah yours looks like if you punctured it

Yeah, it would just be days of juice. Yeah. Yeah, and I was gonna say something racial or not That's how I'm growing bitches be hating on me in the club, man. Well, they have been right. Yeah, man Maybe like it's fake. Do you get white bitches more or black bitches? What do you get? Uh, I don't know. Can I say that the way you said it though? Yeah, as it was like George's secret like a whisper. I think uh white Yeah, yeah, yeah, you prefer it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, no, no, but you but that's what happens

But I I have black girls. Yeah everything but mostly it's uh, yeah, mostly white. Yeah, my grandmother's called them pink women Why why why is there pink on the inside? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they're just pink all over. Oh, that's right, right We're we're all pink on the inside. Yeah If you saw the inner tubings Like a woman's vagina inside and out And you put a black woman's and a white woman's and the asian woman's that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference I would because the black women on the inside are actually purple No, that's not even yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not like I feel like so many vaginas and yeah, yeah, it's usually

The color sometimes sometimes you get pink. Yeah, but you can ask this question. Just how do you pull it back? Well, uh, do you ask first or you just pull? No, you just pull Oh, really? And they never go they never go. Hey Hey, they're right out there here for all right, right, right, right Plus he pulled because the women that I've seen you with though are been of attractive. I think Yeah, yeah And sometimes you have like a little entourage sometimes with you like you'll pull up in the and you're with a group of people Yeah, yeah, yeah like um like like I'm the money team and

No money team. Yeah You know how I know you know how I knew I didn't always known you but I never really Was that I was a little probably mean to you really? Do you think you've always been the same where it's like He probably likes me Yeah, you know, I know you weren't mean because one day I said Bobby can I have a hundred dollars? And he said for what and I said, I just want a hundred dollars that you gave me a hundred That's okay. That's right. I was like, yeah, but I wouldn't do that with somebody that didn't like Yeah, I've always liked you and here's how you became. Oh, I became aware of you. Yeah

Yeah, years ago Jordan before they did Keanu He goes, hey, you want to go remember I once watched that movie X Makana? Yeah, so Jordan we had dinner and then we were in the theater About to watch X Makana and he goes, you know, I'm doing a movie called Keanu He goes, there's nothing in it for you That's the first thing he said, which is fine but I that's fine and he goes but Tell me about Jamar neighbors

And I go, well, he's crazy. So funny though. What a funny guy And and Jordan goes, yeah, I'm thinking about Having him in this the movie, but he you were even in his Eye sight really and when Jordan said that to me I went he just became ingrained in my psyche and then A couple years later we did um, what would Diplo do? Yeah, and that's when we worked together. Yeah. Yeah, but we didn't We were on the same project, but we didn't work together. I only worked with James Vanderby I know

But when you say just say that we worked together we worked together Yes, so that because then you have to get explained like because my character was not really Real I was a ghost or you were a ghost. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and and Diplo James Vanderby Could only see me. Yeah, well it can to see you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we didn't work together. Did you like that show? I love that show. People really love that show. They really did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do people still talk to you about that show? Yeah, and people go I think that if it was on a different platform, it would have really blown up. Absolutely I mean, it's a perfect for netflix. It's so so like that. Yeah It was so silly and so original and I think it was just on maybe vice land just wasn't

Yeah, and also Brandon Durmer is the first director I've ever had really that's basically said You can just do whatever you want Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. So I would do it the way it was written But then I would feel so much freedom In terms of trying different things. I really like doing it. I love James Vanderby. I like you I love everyone involved in that thing and then of course when you don't when you're in love with something it goes away It doesn't happen, you know That's so fucking fun. I think you could have been a success dude. What happens when it does it just die then or does it have like a chance?

It's on hulu right now, isn't it? Yeah, it's on hulu. Yeah, but I mean It's if you googled like if you weren't and you searched it, but it's not gonna pop up in their main Right, you know, you go to comedy. There's like 50,000 things will probably come up before Diplo, but um, I think jordan pill is mad at me Why I'm glad you threw that out. Why? Because I was at sarah somans party and I saw him and uh right after keanu We were so cool and I was like, ah, what up nigga, and then I walked up to him and I pinched his nipple Why did you do that because I said I just

Homies yeah, yeah, it is so I thought we were closer to what we were but did you pinch hard? It was like a no, it was like a it was enough to bother. That's not that's not I didn't know I know I swear you guys should know that about everyone. Wait, wait. That's something you would do That's what I'm saying. I'm trying to tell him not to do it anymore. I didn't know Yeah, you should You didn't know to go to a man who was a director and pinch his nipple. I didn't think about that. Oh, right, right I was like, oh, it's the homie. Yeah, and then what do you do after that? Do you think he was like, hey? He was like, man, what the hell?

Oh, you did one of those. Yeah, and then he just he was freaked out and I was like danis. Like it hates me No, you're not gonna hate. He doesn't hate. You're not gonna be and get out Yeah, I mean he's done this podcast. He has. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Jordan. If you don't love him I don't you know, he has never said anything to me. Oh, I think it's in your head And that's where I want to really go to now Is the stuff that's in your head in my head, you know how people You know, I can make these assumptions That somebody doesn't like me for 20 years and then

They'll either die or something will happen and some will go. Oh that that guy loved you Right, and then you're in your head. You're like, oh, yeah, I think I loved him too You know what I mean? Like the things that our mind does like something like that Yeah, I was talking about a director that I had I've talked about the story before where I killed in this audition that director with this African-american guy who was kind of fat And and after my audition he goes stick around. I want to get to know you which when you're head You know that you got the part. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and then we were like laughing and talking about my life and this and that And during one of the laughing things my gut says poke his belly

Right, so I poked his belly. I go fatty Yeah, like that that was his nipple thing. Yeah, that's exactly and then he goes. Thank you And I left the room and the whole time I was like, why did you do that? Yeah, but I've been in a movie and you did one dumb thing and also thinking about it. It's not even funny In no way would that work in any anything. Yeah, no one would have laughed at that. That's rude Right, but I feel like that's what you did kind of to Growing up Growing up. Did you do it to your friends? Did your friends do it to you growing up?

Yeah, it's like like even my friends now. I'm just I don't know I but yeah, you have to remember like they're business friends and then there are and I'm like, oh fuck now I got a slice and dice Who's what? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah treat everybody the same. Yeah, that's what you know, you and I are That's another reason why I've always let you is because when I see you I go that's the old comedy store Like one time I saw him You had the mohawk maybe recently and you were by your car you bent over

Yeah, and then you gyrated your ass to me. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but you did it in a way Well, that's the first time I noticed his juicy ass He was juicing. I was laughing But I'm like that's fucking sexy, bro In my head, right? Yeah, but I didn't I laughed it up like that's funny, right? And then just in the way he was doing it and then I just watch you interact with people. I go, that's the way I interact Yeah, right, but do you think that that That has caused more damage or personality than good things?

I mean besides that Jordan shit, no Yeah, no, not really because people appreciate that like if they know that you're one way they're like they're like, they're like, okay, cool Yeah, yeah, and then you you actually seem cool. You actually seem cooler There's also no one else like you at the store not even close. You're so You're almost it's the same reason why there's no one like him. Yeah, no one like you You're so memorable to me at least but here I want to say something to you and I don't want you to take it the wrong way Yeah The fuck is wrong

What the fuck are you doing right now? I'm just nipple right now Oh, you get a nipple pinch from me later, man But what I want to say to you is is that I want to say this we might have to edit this out because I don't I don't I don't say don't think it's bad what I'm saying Inward in there. No, there's no That it's good. I've never used that word by the way Oh, okay Never

But what I want to say is is that a lot of comics Especially now young guys You know, it's they go away from more of Being intrinsically funny to writing funny, right? So you'll see a young kid with black or white whatever right and The writing is really solid

right his point of view on paper is great but It's not You know intrinsically funny like somebody's naturally funny like crystallia is Naturally funny, right? You're the same category. I think that you know, we can look at younger guys at your generation And I know a bunch of them and go. Yeah, they write good, but they're they they're not going to be good on screen Yeah, there's a spirit behind it kind of sort of right also you get laughs for just being crazy and funny

Yeah, instead of going where's the point of view or where's a switch? Yeah, you sell it. You're a performer Yeah, is what I'm saying. Yeah, right, but that's how you are Like you'll take the fucking like like I see I see you do some shit I swear like when I first started going to the comedy store And I would watch a gang of comics and shit and I'd be like, oh, well, when's Bobby Lee going up, you know And I'm like, oh man, and then I'd see you do shit like like take the stool and flip it like with your mouth and shit Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, I'm be doing I'm be doing something a little bit like that A little bit like yeah, but I'm but I'm but I'm a cuss like way more

Yeah, I may go through my shirt off too. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you went out of the same school, huh? But that's but But for us to survive in this comedy climate Yeah, it's rare because that's not what's in fashion. Yeah You aren't in fashion, but you are will always be your type The type that will test well In a movie or tv show and somebody that will go while that guy is dynamic He's a dynamic performer. Yeah, when you see somebody like with the first time I saw Cedric the entertainer

My brother and I We've told this story again where we were in the main room for the first time. I had never heard of Cedric This is the late 90s. Mm-hmm And Paulie goes did sit next to me. You got to see this guy And my brother sat and I sat down And watching Cedric the entertainer in the main room back in the late 90s When people didn't really know who he was like before kings Yes, like during the when they were doing the live tour before the thing came out

is when I saw him and I saw him burning all the all those guys and You just could see I mean, my brother and I were collapsed on the floor Gyrating laughing like we couldn't breathe Right and you the tape same type of when you see someone like Jared Carmichael You you go are you giggle? But it's the writing in the point of view is so like It's smart. Mm-hmm. And um, the writing is so amazing

But it's not necessarily what I prefer to watch Okay, right, right, right. That's what you are. Right. Thanks, man. That's how does that feel? I'm about to jack off Do it. I love being hyped up. Where are you from, Jabbar? Here, Compton Compton, so you're born and raised in LA? Yeah, I'm born and raised in LA. Yeah Wow

You were in Compton and then you went to high school in Compton. Uh, Like I went to Dorsey, so it's like south south LA is like right down the street. Yeah, LeBray and Jefferson But what did your parents do? Um So Then or now Then and now Then like I don't know about that. I've never ever met him. I've never seen him and uh, my mom

Uh, she was um She got uh, she was on some drugs and then but now she's a behavior therapist. Oh, wow. Yeah So she made a dope little comeback Little comeback but growing up. They have a growing up. Uh, she was about that Wait, wait growing up. She was a drug addict then. Mm-hmm. And what kind of drugs do you mind me asking or uh, like crack Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, you feel hesitant about talking about it or no? Uh, no, I'll still talk about it, but like only because um, only because like she like she's like made so many Yeah leaps and bounds in her eyes. Yeah. So so for me to so for me to be at the like man, she did crack

You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm telling the crack, baby You're right. That's what sticks in people's heads though You know like you can make a biggest comeback But if you that's what that's what you're trying to protect her from because once you're like, you know Someone's on crack. They're in crack forever in their head. I'm just like, no, man. She's a very intelligent woman No, no, no. Where'd I go? What's your mom's name first name? Huh? What's your first name? I want to say I want to say I love you. She works as a behavioral therapist Okay, I want to say if you're listening in your Jamar's mom, whatever your name is

I want to say we Because you know, I'm a recovering drug addict myself. You know, that's everything you're sober. Yeah, and um, I What everything everything Okay, so I just did Molly for the first time when Maybe like a little four days ago. What tell me what it is. I know I've heard I've had to say it in like scripts I mean like I really love they're like it's just they're like they say Molly and I go, what is who she And they go it's a drug. I'll go what who's she again? Yeah, yeah So you did Molly. So what happened? Nothing. I was just

About that love Wait, were you physical? No, I was just very like I was very positive All right, right. Who are you with myself? But I was I was I went to the I had a spot at the comedy store. So I had to be up there or whatever But so I guess I was around comics, but nobody really knew I was on it. Wait. How was your set? Um, it was all right. Yeah, it didn't really enhance my set or anything, right? You go up late a lot, right? Yeah, like what time? 1145 on back

Yeah, but if if um But sometimes 1045 since they start the show in the main room like at eight. So it is still right still late. Yeah I want to say this to you though. Um This is a fact the reason why Jim Carrey got on the living color is the fact that Jim Carrey was a great impressionist, but at one point he said I want to do weird shit. I want to experiment. I don't want to do impressions anymore

I want if I want to do 15 minutes and being a cockroach on stage He would fully do it on stage. You seen him video shit. No, but I'd heard from other comments like tail end, you know But what mitzi also did was she used to put the wanes brothers at the end, right? So jim was always around You know Damon Waynes and these people up late and when you're up late, no matter what era it was your crowds dwindle and you're with You have a camaraderie with the comics that are always late So they would watch each other and that's when they really fully

Grasp out talented Jim Carrey was He'd also there are also black dudes and for a white guy to do these broad crazy things Right, they're all crossover. He kind of things was just epic for people And that's how when they got in living color, they go we want this white guy because we know him But so the late night spots, you know, Sam Kinnison used to get the late spots. They're not bad thing I don't I don't mind them at all. Like most people You know, like a lot of comics would be like, man, I should be up at 1045 right behind Bobby Lee or or whatever And I've been like, I don't give a fuck man. I've like just throw me up so I can do this shit

Yeah, you know, like I've saved the ego like I'll save the ego like we're all at the world's best Comedy club. So that means we're one of the world's best comics. Wow chill. Yeah, you know, I feel like chill We'll get to whatever time slot we'll get to whenever the fuck we get to But I'm fighting for more than just a fucking time slot The white you know at the end of the day. So yeah, let me go up there and do my crazy shit or whatever That's a good way to put it. Like you're fighting for more than just a time slot. That's a good thing to carry Yeah, because sometimes you get a little bit like angry when you don't get a certain like spot, right? Right. I do. Yeah Yeah, but you know what I'm leaning toward though

I've done this before where I tell Adam you get He started putting me up late Yeah, so I can try new shit. Yeah, it's easier to experiment at the end. Mm-hmm. Do you find that? Yeah, I mean, I've yeah I mean, you know, if you have a packed room That's hot and you're in between Joey Diaz and Manas Calco. Mm-hmm. You don't want to experiment and fuck up the show

So you do you want to crush? Mm-hmm But that leaves out experimentation Yeah, so you're in a very lucky situation. The problem we go get through go through at the prime spot is like Oh, shit. We just have to we're packed and we have to bring it because so-and-so is in the audience some casting director Mm-hmm, or or that just directors and you're like, oh fuck people tell you when those people are in audience or I ask Oh That would fuck me up I go to the cover booth. I go any

Well, give me the comps list and just on the guest list and they give it to me. I do it every show I go, is there anybody here? And they go, yeah, actually This these producers for this movie are here to see so-and-so and they're right before you I want to know those things That's how you always know because you always come home and he's always like so-and-so is there how do you know him? Do you see him in the crowd? How I wow every ass this one this one thing happened to me. I had a Um, I randomly got an audition to for the last predator movie

Yeah, the last predator movie and I went into the audition I was wearing some weird thing on stage or whatever and I remember going to the audition in that exact outfit I didn't I didn't even know that the person who gave me the audition was in the audience But I just oh They saw you were two the same clothes two days in a row. Yeah, and then so I and then so I went I went in there I did my audition, but when I walked in they were like they're like you're in the same thing I saw I heard them say that and I said I were to set the comedy show. Wait a minute. You saw me at the comedy That's why I'm in here

You didn't I fucked you up? No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Oh, maybe it did It's sometimes acting aloof. Mm-hmm and doing the opposite of what they expect. Yeah works Yeah, because that's how I got the Steve renazizi mbc pilot. Oh, really? I fell asleep in the audition The audition or waiting room. This is I get a call From renazizi. He goes this is before this is pre his live 9-11 coming out. Mm-hmm. So this is you know mean He has no special about that. Which was the funniest shit ever. I know we can talk about that honest honest renazizi, right? Yeah, he renazizi Yeah

We're friends don't cut it out But uh renazizi goes dude We I booked this, you know, you know mbc. I go yeah, he goes, you know, they're making the new friends They're trying to create a new friends, you know, three Dudes three girls, but this time shot in Chicago and it's single camera and it's about hipsters And I go, okay, and he's like they realized they hired six white people And then they fired one of the white dudes and he needed an ethnic guy by tomorrow

I go, we're in Chicago. Yeah, you shoot tomorrow, but you have to read now. Damn. I go, I haven't slept dude I played video games all night. Yeah Yeah, and he goes you got to go in now, please So I went in there. I didn't read it and I literally as a goof was so tired. I go there was a table like this And I go, can I sleep here and I put my sides down and I put my head against the thing and I laid there for like 12 minutes Really? Yeah, like with closed my eyes. They were laughing so fucking hard They were laughing so fucking hard And then I go hey, and I got up. I woke up. Oh, that was nice. Thanks for that and I go and I just read it real quick

I didn't read it. Yeah, and then I left And then I flew from Chicago that night That's insane. And then I'm on set the next day and that was so good. All right. So I fly in Yeah, and for this and who else is in a Steve Howie from Shameless was the show called again Show that we did. Yeah, it was called Not romance. It was something something is easy something romance, right on this race But the first so the first shot though was me in the audience of my friend. It was in a band

And so I'm supposed to be sitting there right and there's about a hundred extras and I have one line like go Steve Whatever the line is right and so they go action They did something and I go go Steve and when they said cut I had a hundred extras come up to me go How'd you get along? How'd you get the line? How did you get the line?

I go I'm on the show. Oh, they thought you were an extra that I was an extra and they were begging me like Did I suck somebody off? What how did you get that one line? Whoa? I'm a regular bitch back up. Yeah, you know That's why you hate extras. Oh, that's the source. He has a thing about extras. Have you so You have an extra story. Yeah So I was So I was on set and It was like it was a ill man. I was doing the movie. Yeah. Uh, he was like, yo, man. How'd you get this shit? It was in New Orleans. Yeah, man. How'd you get on this shit? And I was like, oh, man

I auditioned in LA and this and this and that and they go, all right It's an older black guy. He goes, all right. He goes, he goes, you know, I you know, I've been a lot of things too You know And I was like, yeah, I was like, okay. And he pulls out a um He pulls out a paper. It was a paper and then it was a printed out paper. He opened it up and it was him It was him Moving it was he I think it was like a mover or on something but it was a printed out picture It was colored right printed out and he was like, yeah, this is me on that show, you know

Uh, on this thing and I was like, take it out of shit. It's on paper And I was like, I was like, what do you want me to do with this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was his resume. Wow He's showing something. Yeah, he was on there. He was on but it was printed out. Yeah, and it could be in the It could have even been a print ad Yeah, right Not live action or was it something that he paused and took a photo? No man. It was something that he printed out on a printer On a color printer. Yeah, it was him and it was all fuzzy. I was like, who the fuck is that right? Oh, that's me Yeah, some people don't you want me to do this? They don't know some people don't know

You know when you're seeing A show like any movie and some guy has two lines and he gets shot and he dies Right that dude is with William Morris. Yep But that dude, right went to an Ivy League school and went through training. Mm-hmm That dude auditioned against a thousand other dudes. They're just like that dude and beat them out It's hard I always think about I always watch commercials And then I I was like, man, I'm like that guy's an actor

And then I'm like, he does the same thing that Denzel Washington does This guy in his bounty commercial has the same profession Weird Yeah, he does the same. You know what also I find in commercials. I said this commercial where Some guy was the lead and he was supposed to be at a Verizon kind of a desk and he's talking to some other extra but then he turns to the camera and goes Hi, I'm so-and-so, right, but he know I know that he doesn't know the extra Right, so they have to do fake dialogue like like mouth it out hand of mine hand of mine

Yeah, and I because extras go crazy for that. Oh, they love it. They go. Yeah, they go So anyway, I'm and you say you want to say shut the fuck up. I just open your mouth and pretend that you're talking What are the rules when you do that? By the way, are you not supposed to actually say anything? Are you? No, but they do but they do they'll come back. So thank you for coming in you. That's not the line They don't want the you're not a principal. Yeah, they should all right. You're supposed to say peas and carrots. That's right, you know Just a mouth it. Yeah, or what is it watermelon watermelon cucumber? Yeah, they go say watermelon cucumber and you'll get all But you know what's another trick they use that works. Hmm red leather yellow leather So check it out sometimes when you're tongue tied with a line

An older actor will go just say red leather yellow leather To yourself mouth it out But 10 times in a row and then you do it and then you go into the line. It's fucking perfect Is it because it's a tongue twister and everything is easy in comparison? I don't know. I never thought about it But I do it all the time now If you're ever in customer service, you're waiting tables and you get tongue tied use that trick Who's gonna wait for you to say it 10 times? In the middle of a in the middle of serving somebody. No, what you do is like you're approaching a fucking table

Right and you go, I'm so tired. I don't know just a little yellow red and just say it a bunch of times to yourself And then say your fucking thing. Would you like to hear about our specials? You have a cornmeal hash, you know, hash, whatever. Is there a cornmeal hash? Probably So you don't have a girl for no kids nothing. All right You know, you know what we're gonna do We're gonna find me a girl What are you into? I want to know What are your relationships like? It's hot though. Of course. I I don't look at him. Of course. He's strong. Yeah. Yeah. Of course hot

Uh, is that the only prerequisite Filipino? Sure Okay, are you are you? I just feel like you only know filipino Like man, these are my friends and uh What like you any Asian racial god? I've never had an Asian chick. Well, do you count those Middle Easterners? Those it depends. Are they from Iran? Stop

No, I didn't think so. All right Hold on. What are they trying to claim y'all? What about Indian Indians Asian? I mean, I mean, that's what I'm saying. I call them. All right. All right. Yeah Asian Indians are Asians, but I wouldn't say someone from iraq is from Asia They're Asian. They're from the Middle East. Oh, yeah. Oh wait an Indian person isn't Middle Eastern The Indian people are more in Asia. So yeah, South Asia. So I can call them Asians You know, but you know some iraqi fool not that they're fools. God bless you. I love your religion Well, I'm not in it. But you know, whatever you want to do

Is that good? Yeah. I feel like I'm digging a hole What hole anyway, um But if you're iraqi for himanwar, whatever you are, he's afghanistan I don't think that if if for himanwar said i'm asian, I would be like, no, you're not. No, I meant I'm an indian. Excuse me Do you guys let do you guys let those you guys let indian people claim you're asian Yeah, I'm fine with it. You guys are asian You guys are asian to me. I'm like, yes, these are Asians, you know, right, but like indians. I'm like Fucking asian. It's just not be honest with you. When you look at her you go asian. Be honest. Yeah. Yeah, I would say I would say

Oh, she's a little asian Right, what about this fuck? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely I was the only one right closet full blown. Yeah, full blown. I was the only one who actually grew up in asia I'm the most asian technically happy birthday Happy birthday licks That's her street name too licks. Okay, so back to the girl thing

She's to be a tagger So back to the girl thing so equal opportunity employer it doesn't matter what race, okay, right Yeah, how what the age? What's age? um preferably like 25 How old are you now 33 30 to 33? Yeah, that's fine. That's not pedophilia. Yeah, that's great All right, what if I is great am I not right john? That's not pedophilia. You ever date. Are you into older women?

Yeah I mean like what's out here? Kate Beckinsale. Oh, yeah Yeah, you would tap that she dated a comedian 25. Yeah, she looks amazing. Yeah. I've seen some 50 year olds. I had to fucking really JLo's like I'm gonna throw you some names actresses. Would you fuck till the switten? Yes, till the switten sure. Who was that bald lady and dr. Strange? She's tall. She's you know, like like uh, like uh, like uh, like Nicole murphy Who's that? Who's Nicole murphy? You ever see any murphy the ex-girl, ex-wife

No, no, no, she thinks she's hot. This is perfect. She's beautiful. Hold on. Let me look at it. Yeah, so Nicole murphy, huh? Only thing Wait, I want to talk about wait. I want to break up something that you just sprung up something Insane. Hold on. Nicole murphy. I have something I want to talk to you about. Hold on. Let's look this up first. Nicole till the switten I don't know. She's like Tony Hemscliffe Yeah, yeah Nicole murphy she is very pretty

Yeah, she's very pretty Nicole murphy. Yeah, sorry. Oh, I want to say about did you ever know because this is in your time frame Because this is in when you when I saw you around Uh-huh. You might have been younger, but that dude that claimed that he was Eddie Murphy's son. Oh, yeah, Brando murphy Right. Tell me about Brando murphy. So that guy he he was running around him and Richard Pryor's real son Uh, that's right around doing a tour together and this guy named Brando murphy He was saying that he was Eddie Murphy's son. He acted just like Eddie murphy He had his laugh. Mm-hmm. He had Eddie you physically Yeah, dead on almost like not exactly a murphy, but you wouldn't not doubt it in your mind

Like I could buy that and then he was as a performer. He was new But he was okay, right on stage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He could sell that he was new But he's Eddie murphy's kid Brando and I I got to the point where I went to the laugh factory with him And I introduced him to Jamie Masata Oh my god, this is Eddie murphy's son Brando fucking murphy. How did everyone find out it wasn't and Jamie put him up? Yeah, I love it. I love it. He's my friend. Yeah, that's what he said

And then I found out that Eddie murphy sued him, right? Yeah Wait, how did okay, so that's how everyone found out just because of the loss because he got big He got big and then I saw him right by our new house at that Starbucks. Yeah, I'll Go ahead and charge Tell people where the fuck we live. You don't know what that's where the fucking Starbucks exactly where that is Exactly where that is. Yeah, but you know where my house is from the adjacent to that. All right. All right You know the area. Yeah, people know we live in Oh god, George, but that I've been telling you

We live Anyway, so what I was I even saying? Oh, yeah, so I'm at that Starbucks and this is maybe a year after Eddie murphy sued him. I saw him And he came up to me had notebook. He was writing and he goes, hey man, what's up? And I looked at him and I just went back down to whatever I was doing And he I we never I never saw him again. Can I tell you a story about that guy? Yeah. Yeah, okay So you met him after he was Eddie murphy's son All right. Yeah, I met him before he was Eddie

What do you mean when it was just when it when he was just Brandon Robinson? Oh, no I met him in the last factory open mic line. No It's cool. He was it. He was he was just another young black kid or whatever. Yeah, you know, I was like, okay cool This guy's friend had his number and everything. He went by Brandon Robinson Brandon Robinson And if you're listening Brandon, I want to be honest with you when I saw you perform aside from the whole Eddie murphy thing In no way in my head. I'm like if this kid even in retrospect Wanted to do stand up just put the time in you have yeah all the things tools You're you know, relatively young

attractive, you know The right color great personality nice And um, he could have done it, but did he stay friends with Richard priors priors kids or kids? Um, I don't think so. No, but yeah And now I have an after murphy story I saw him I saw him. He was wearing a he was wearing a suit

um He was wearing a suit like over on like sunset and like martel. I saw him and I said, hey, what's going on, man He was like, oh, hey, what's going on? I said, so what's up? May you still do it stand up? He was like, nah I was like, what are you doing now? He was like, I'm selling car insurance And I was like, oh no Yeah, yeah, and I was like, oh, okay Yeah Wow, yeah, yeah, but why can't you brando just start doing it?

What do you need to be the son? Do you think that okay? Do you think that people have that great of a memory to where he is completely blacklisted? Or is there a way for him to recreate himself as someone else or if you're good if you're good You can override all that. I mean and if he did put the time in or whatever because he did You know, he was pretty he was kind of funny, you know Yeah, yeah, I honestly would be if he went up as brando robinson And I saw him at a show and I saw him doing his own act Right, I would go. You know what dude this guy proved me wrong

This guy fucking did it. What does he looks like now? Did he really look like? Eddie murphy. Yeah, I'm gonna show you. Yeah, he did You think if I look up brando murphy, it would come up his face. I'm gonna look it up right now brando murphy It's a great first name and they were doing a tour called the sons of comedy tour. Yeah. Oh shit Oh my god, you're right. It does look like him. Yeah, right. That's nuts. Is that nuts? Dude, that looks just Does it look like a hold on murphy brando murphy? There he is There he is

Damn, there was a picture on bro So when this guy is on stage And doing his dad's laugh And you go Holy fuck. This is the next coming. Yeah, I have to introduce him to jaymond masado I have to I want to be the first one to do it. I brought him into the store and reduced a bunch of people you discovered him Yeah, yeah, like because that's You got him past and shit. Right. Wow. So wow, that's incredible. You know, I know rain prior

You know, uh richer priors daughter when I started doing stand up, uh, we had Um, uh, Muhammad Ali's daughter may may Ali was a regular at the store Rain would go up to and I always thought to myself like How difficult? especially for Rain prior being the daughter of richer prior If you think that's crazy Okay, so

Mason prior, do you know mason? No, this is uh, uh, the son. Yeah This is real son. They look just alike I gotta look him up. No, what mason prior. Yeah mason prior. Um, so Haddish We were all at the open mic and um, I forgot who was hosting Uh, I think it was benji benji was hosting and on tiffani haddish it went up or whatever she did she um She did this thing where she was like queef in the microphone

Funny as shit of all right, right. So it would kill it would destroy or whatever and then so um So benji was like benji was like, you know what he's like, that's so funny He's like, I want you to sit on the side. All right, and he's a anybody who's terrible. I want you to queef him off today Which tiffani would do it. So yeah, yeah, so people go up or whatever So I like whatever People would be bobbing all of a sudden you just hear That's what a great show idea. So the son of that mason prior the son of richard, right? Yeah. Yeah He was like benji was like, oh god. He was like, this is the son of a legend

Mason prior And this nigga is just eating it, right? But yeah, he says something I was like you just hear He looked over yeah, he was like, um, he was like, what the fuck you gonna queef on me for He was like, it was like, what the fuck you queefed my joke for? She was like, you got to bring it It's like you got to bring it if you richard prior son Oh my god Let's just say, and then he said he said I ain't got to bring nothing Haddish, you know what you and haddish are similar in that way when you bring up haddish you guys are close, right?

Yeah, you guys are like could be brothers and sisters and we kind of came up the same way Yeah, yeah in terms of in terms of style and you know, she dude She's a queen. You can say whatever you want about her dude When we did that Was that musical show I did for oh and the goddamn comedy god damn comedy gem on comedy central Oh, yeah, team turn. She did it. It went it went chris hardwick Yeah, he did it with what's a guitar legend stevie ray von or something. No, no, he did it with um, richie Richie zambora either one, right? Yeah, it's totally different. So they're the imagine they're the la this is the last show

Yeah, this audience so chris hardwick. He's on a show on comedy central at the time Then haddish goes up there and does Aretha frank Tina Turner. Tina Turner. Yeah, yeah and It was one of the greatest live performances of anything I've ever seen crushed There And then I have to go up. I don't know the words No, I had to pull my dick out and it worked and it worked. Do you have to

What I said, sometimes you have put a dick out. Have you pulled your dick out? Well, I was on stage at the comedy store like two weeks ago I was in the main room right closing. I was doing the Brody spot and um, and I was doing like this weird character They had like green tights or whatever. It was like a dinosaur or whatever And then I went back to go change into my regular clothes But I had to take off my um, I had to take off the tights Whatever and I noticed that I didn't have any underwear under my tights

And so I was like, I was like, oh man, I said, you know, to be funny I was like I said, I did just walk out there naked. So I just walked after Oh, yeah And I was like anyway, and they were like, oh my god, and they turned off the lights and they jamar you can't do that Go put your clothes on wow That's where the comedy store is wrong. Yeah, we used to be able to do that. Yeah People like you had the freedom to do it. Yeah, right. I want to see your thick dick to one day

Perform man. That's love man. That's pure love, right? I like you man. Yeah, man Let's not make this let's make this the foundation of a new a newer friendship. Okay. Do you have a podcast? Oh, I don't have anything Well, one day we'll get you on. All right. All right. Yes. No, we do this. What what are we at time wise or an hour? Wow, that's incredible. What that was by fast really quick. Yeah, but we're not done We do a thing at the end called unhelpful advice And we have emails and we answer them. You can be wrong. It could be right however you want to do it Uh-huh. Go ahead my friend. I'm helpful advice with Bobby Kalila a drama neighbors

I've just started dating a girl. That's about nine inches taller than me. I'm five one and she's five ten I'm having a great hard. I'm having a great time with her But she gets mad at me because I don't like to show public displays of affection like holding hands or kissing in public I already feel like we get looks and people in public trying to figure us out and I don't like getting extra attention Especially when drunk people around and shout at us Have you guys ever ran to a situation like this over the years any advice? I mean that's the every girl I've ever friend I've ever had

I mean I remember one time There was this girl who I met on the internet Years ago, maybe like 10 years ago. I met her on the internet I just got my car my Nissan 300zx two-seater either way. So I go pick her up I go pick her up and um, she's big And I was like

But she had a great face. Yeah, you know, so I was like, uh, maybe it gets mad. All right Angrily Yeah, I put a getter in my car and shit like that dude. She's the biggest fuck. I she had to be like at least three And so, uh, huh? Yeah. Oh, wow. So she uh, no three years of age Big ass, baby So I was like fine, whatever, you know, she gets in my car and shit I swear to God the car was literally it's a 300 Nissan zx so it's too. So it kind of was leaning

And so I was like, whatever so we go to go see that a movie uh with the rock when he uh, when he uh Had that daughter or whatever he would play football with her and all that shit Yeah, the game play game. Yeah. Yeah, we go see the game plan or whatever with her and shit in my car It's fucking leaning. It was kind of raining and shit. Yeah, man her big ass We hit a fucking pothole on the way there and the car fucking spun out And and and it was but it but it but it was going towards her way. So I knew that she had a little bit to do with this It was like this centrifugal for She was the gravitational. Yeah

And then she gonna ask me do I have insurance? And I was like, no, I was like, do you have insurance? Yeah, yeah, you fucked up my car. Oh, wow. Fucking did you make it to the movie? Mm-hmm. Oh, you didn't my will came off. We have to Are you being real? Huh? I'm being fucking serious. Do you get head from wherever? Mm-hmm. So what happened was we were all the way west covena my will came off. I didn't even have dribble we um

So my best friend came to come pick us up and we stayed at his house And then so my black ass was still trying to get some head, but she was mad, you know, I'm saying my car But I'm like, well, you fucked up my car. No dinner. Do you get dinner? No movie nothing. She got nothing out of it No, I didn't yeah, but uh, yeah So going back to this guy Yeah, well, well, I'm saying well, I'm saying this girl was like at least 100 pounds bigger than me. So right Um, I mean, don't fuck with her dude. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, don't fuck with her. It's taller. She's just taller She's just taller and then and then well, all right

Well, and then you got to kiss her and realize so then that means that you she has to kneel if it's that's him That's embarrassing nine inches That is true You're right. You know what he's not right wrong because With he's five one five nine five ten 10 imagine Like oh look at the kid and their mom like just so many different like mom and son references And jokes he's probably paranoid. Yeah, I would be paranoid. Absolutely. Yeah, man They're asking if you and I have any issues with a height differential. It's not that much. It's five inches

Yeah, that's true. That's not nine. Yeah, it's not nine inches and you know, and you know what he likes He likes it when I wear heels the taller the better I also like it when my girlfriends and they're always, you know You're like the hottest girl, right? I like that Yeah, I like showing I like showing white dudes that don't know who I am Yeah, but you know what that's what happened that person is not wrong because we have been shouted at a lot Yeah, but you know like what? Like they just get real angry and they sort of throw like a tantrum. It's not because of height though

The reason why they get angry is because you're hot and I'm not I think people get viscerally white dudes, especially Get viscerally angry that I'm dating a hot chick. Hmm. You don't think you're hot I think he's hot. He's pretty hot. You're a good looking dude. What the fuck? Yeah, no gay shit I don't want to watch it. Why'd you throw that out? I just in case I just said no Comment on my big juicy ass I didn't know we were going no, let me ask you this. Okay And be completely honest with me All right, the doorman and those kind of guys at the store think I'm gay. No, you never heard anything. No

No good No, what is that something that you were worried about? Yeah, because there's a couple of there's oh and whenever it comes to like Either you're a small black guy Or you're a hefty black guy and you're working at the comedy store. I harass them not in a Racist way in a love way. It's just your type. This is yeah. I just like fucking around with black dudes Ian Edwards asked

Look at Ian Edwards. You know Ian Edwards is when he sees me has to run Because I love to grapple. I love to like yeah ornament or That's why jack knight doesn't want to come close to you anymore What did you do to jack? He's just kind of standoffish with him. He's like bobby lee played too That's why I think I think that there is a vibe out there. But if you're saying that there is no vibe There is no vibe. I've never heard anything about thank god. Thank god. Yeah, we got to get you an agent Um jamar and get you out there. People think I'm gay all the time But that's why that's that's dude. That's why you and I are very similar in that way. I think

as performers Let's put that out there So what you have handles that you want to promote you got what is your what's your twitter and your instagram at jamar neighbors? That's my twitter at jamar underscore neighbors. That's my instagram. Yeah Yeah, and uh two one three It's my phone number. So um Listen, we're moving into a new stereo studio. We one day when we have the new place We'll have you back

But you really filled in because we needed somebody you were perfect. Who'd I fill in for nobody? You know what? We just needed someone quickly and who would um You didn't fill in for anybody. Yeah, I ain't doing shit No, no, no, honestly, we were very dude. I mean I mean not to brag but Everybody wants to do this and even my close friends haven't done it Because I I want you know, we've had big people. We've had good people and I want who I think Is the future?

Right and I think you are I really do and um, I've always liked you and um Let's be friends, man. Hell. Yeah, man. Fuck right. Hey, buddy. God damn. Hey buddo All right Give him a round of applause you. Yeah Hey, check out my comedy mixtape on that piff called america's nigga Uh, that's america with three k's Really? Yeah, america, whatever. We'll check that out for sure. All right. Cool

So we got all your handles and then um, uh, you know, we'll have you back on one day. Okay. Yes, sir, man. Thank you Give him another round of applause. We love you Thank you guys. We'll be right back with some housekeeping guys for everything callila go to calamity k george kimmel george underscore kimmel John na is something john John na na And you can follow me at gilbets and everything bobby lee tour dates shows His the funny stuff he does at bobby lee live on instagram or Visit www.bobbyleelive.com and you can follow us us the team at tiger belly on instagram on twitter at that tiger belly

And email us any questions you may have uh at unhelpadvice at gmail.com Oh, I take that back guys, and I tricked you as george has cued me. It's advice It's advice unhelpful at gmail.com If I will we know it oh you and also you know what guys You can send us some packages or anything you want to our mailing address Which is one six two six north wilcox avenue number one six one los angeles california nine zero zero two eight, and you can send it to tiger belly Yeah, you're not a mics use this mic

Oh god, I'm making life difficult. Sorry. I just got reminded if you guys ever feel so inclined to like donate to um Um an organization. There's this organization from my hometown of subu called mayari animal rescue. They go by morrow um, and they are basically the One of the very few people that are taking like stray dogs and animals that need which is like a really big problem in the philippine So if you have money to give give it to morrow mayari animal rescue organization. Thank you Check it out. I'm trying to change the world. Have a good night guys. Bye Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast

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