TigerBelly - Carrot Top and The Girthy Red Head

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

Carrot Top (Scott Thompson) joins TigerBelly for the 1st time. We chat Tonight Show, Mission Impossible, cafeteria crowds, potato bottom, Fudge Middle, Betty White, U2 of comedy and Black Dudes at a Renaissance Faires. Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with code TIGERBELLY, and spin your favorite slots! The Crown is Yours That’s www.helixsleep.com/belly  for 27% Off Sitewide. Exclusive for listeners of TigerBelly. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you! www.helixsleep.com/belly

Belly laughs for your belly. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho. Guys, in America, in Los Angeles, I'm doing a show called Belly Laughs with Hassan Minaj, Kumail Nanjiani, Margaret Cho, Bobby Lee, Joel Kim Booster, Sherry Cola, Asaf Ali, Andrea Jin, Jason Chenney, some other guy that I don't wanna even say,

but let me just say right now, right, Joe Wong, everybody, you, dude, it's gonna be a gigantic Asian festival of laughs and, you know what I mean? What time? It's gonna be July 13th is the show that I'm on, right? July 13th? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, July 12th is gonna be pretty good.

But the 13th? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The one I'm on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, January 12th is gonna be pretty good. But the 13th? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Hey, the one I'm on? Yeah, it's a big thing. There's a lot of people on it, and it's gonna be great, so. Go buy your tickets and go see The Slep King on the 13th.

Also, guys, we're doing a giveaway, so head over to our social media to see if you can win a pair of tickets to the show. How old are you? Oh, okay. You can get in a shed. I hate that. First question, before we go, just in case you do die, how old are you? Just before we get going. What's the freak out? Oh, you are?

Yeah. All right. Well, I'm older than you. Yeah, but I feel like I'm gonna die too. Yeah, wait. Yeah, we all got to get. Like a spoon. Yeah, yeah, I don't know how. I just did a retarded.

No, I know, I didn't know if we were starting because I was gonna start going to some stories and shit. What? I was just gonna start telling shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you wanna use your headphones? I didn't know, oh yeah, yeah, let's do this. It's right there. I've never been on one of these. Is that too loud for you, Scott?

I don't think so. No, yeah, yeah. I think this is too loud, maybe. No here in my house. It's a miracle. It's a miracle. Does everybody get that intro or me? Am I really a miracle? You're a miracle. Okay. Everybody gets to sing.

You're not a miracle? I can't intro right there. Oh, I'm not a miracle. Let me ask you something. Are you a not a miracle. Oh, I'm not Are you a fucking miracle man? Yeah, man exactly You're one of a kind. I didn't see you there by the way Well Mexicans are sneaky. Thank God. He's wearing a because the deer The Florida thing, you know

Camouflage can't can't condom. You don't see him coming. Yeah. Yeah. Do you still wear condoms or no?om, you don't see him coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you still wear condoms or no? No. You don't fuck? No, I'm old now, so you don't, you know. But wait, you think about it, you watch people fuck. Scott, Scott, you fucked, dude. Yeah, no. You're a fuck machine. I am a fuck machine. Anyway, how?

You can sense it when I walked in, the whole crew's like, this guy is a fuck machine. Yeah, yeah. Take my hat off, make sure my wig stays on straight. What? Hey, I didn't know you had a fuck machine. Yeah. Take my hat off. Make sure my wig stays on straight. What? Hey, I didn't know you had a hat on. I didn't know I had a hat on, right? I used to do that.

That's a good joke. Well, I used to do that in show. I walk in there, I was on an airplane, I said, you got to take your hat, I'm going to go to the security, you got to take your hat off. I said, I don't have a hat on. I didn't want my stupid fucking hair.

I don't have a hat on. Did you laugh? Yeah, I always laugh. I said, I do that. Yeah, who came up with, listen, I want to say something. I'm gonna ask. We forgot to intro him. I will in a second. Let him run his show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. The new mission Impossible, the credits don't come, like the opening credits came later in the movie. It was a cold open, yeah. Right, it was a cold open, then you say, dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. I like it. Did. Right, there's a cold open and then you say, I'm a brr, I'm a brr. I like it. Did you see it?

No, I've not seen it yet, but yeah. I do want to see it. Well, I mean, we have an argument here. I thought it was perfect movie. Yeah, I'm excited to see it. It's so good, but this fucking Christian goes like. No, no, no. I don't know, too much violence or whatever.

Henry Cabell, the best one. Yeah. Oh my God. All out. The Philip C. Mohr-Harmon was good. That was the best. I was second. That was first best Then why'd you say fucking forgot about the Phil? He was the best villain. Yeah. Yeah Think it through. Okay, fine. What did you do? Okay, good. Good. Good. Do you see all of the mission of possibles? Yeah, I think yeah 12 or 13 Yeah, and a lot of there's been a lot Rockies's a lot of, yeah. I'm glad it's done though.

Is it? Did they say finally? Well, I hope, like when I saw him at the end live, sorry, spoiler alert. Oh yeah. Spoiler alert, but I was like, please don't come back, Ethan. I was kind of hoping he died.

I die at the end of my show every night. And people always say, this is it. Coming back. Yeah, I'm back but like he died a horrible The worst show yeah, but I'm not dead. I'm back. There's no way you bomb still no I mean I've had shows where I you know comics where you just walk away thinking oh man They just there is such a thing is a as a as a bad crowd I mean or a bad energy in the room necessarily Not necessarily a crowd, but you can go out and do a show, the same boom, and it just doesn't take off. I do it.

I fucking do it, man. So you know what I'm talking about. Then this night, last night was magical. They were laughing at the set ups. They were laughing, you know, so you walk off like, well, okay. Yeah, and I hit, how much I go, well, it's you. I'm like, no, it's not.

This is a fuck crowd. Yeah, it's never me. Nah, I'm not fighting, yeah. That was, George Carlin gave me some great, it, it's not. This is a fuck crowd. Yeah, it's never me. Nah, fuck it, yeah. That was George Carlin gave me some great, it was in a brilliant. Oh, here we go. This is the fucking knowledge here, dog. So cool, so I.

Who's George Carlin? He right. I gotta know your audience, yeah. So what do you say? No, I've got to know him over the years and it was just my mentor and one of those guys he just like, wow, which is weird, you think of Carrot Top, you don't think George Carlin being a mentor,

but really his stuff is so observational and smart. But I had come to the side of the show, he had just finished, walked off, and I'm standing there and he's like, he had just a horrible show. And he looked right at me, he's like, how much of this shit do you see? I said, you know, most of it, it was great.

He's like, I was fucking, and I said, he said, you know most of it. It was great He's like I was fucking shit and I said he said, you know fuck that might well you ended the show by saying Like if you ever come to Vegas again Fuck you and don't come fucking see me. I told him I told them that Wow I knew when he walked off like he's just that is that his funny way of hey fuck you guys But no, he was pissed Wow, and they look right at me. He says Yeah, he said when do you start and I started the next night I said and he says, he said, when do you start? And I started the next night. I said, tomorrow.

He said, how many shows do you do? I said, I do one every night and on Saturday we do two. And he says, why the fuck do you do two shows on Saturday? And I was just being funny. I said, my manager has a car payment, just something to get a lot. Then he's like, no, why the fuck do you do two? I said, I don't know, it's kinda nice

because if I fuck up one and then I get a second shot at it. They got right in my face like this close And he says never fucking give the audience the upper hand they get your shit. They get your shit They don't get your fucking dildo strapped to a fucking walker And I even knew one of my jokes specifically am I at the dick on the walker Wow And so it was like insane that George Carlin not only knew me, but he knew my bit Wow And what a bit to pick you know the water with a dildo strapped to it fuck. I love that bit man Thank you. I've always wanted to fuck that walker Right have you ever seen that bit where you want to fuck it?

Am I swearing too much? sexual right I'll step back. You know how YouTube goes. Yeah, well no, I started. I started talking about dildos. Well, you know, but I said fuck. You're the worst. You're the worst.

You're worst. Eastiality is a big red flag, right? Do you talk about that often? No, but I want to. Just don't say the F word. You can say a B.C.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or it's just another one.

Anyway, a lot of comedy. Carrot Top, everybody. Carrot Top. I have a question. I have a question. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's another one? Oh yeah, anyway, a lot of, anyway. A lot of comedy. Carrot Top, everybody! Hey, Carrot Top! Carrot Top! I have to share with you,

only because it's on my brain for a second, when you said what you can do and get away with the F word or missy out and whatever you're saying. I did the Tonight Show many times. One of the times, the best part for me was- I want to interrupt you for a second. I remember I was in high school and I saw you on, Leno I think.

Yeah, and it was, yeah, cause I did it years later, I tore the end of his reign, but it really was, I laughed so fucking hard, I had never seen anything like it. Now, you know, when I started doing stand up, you would run into, you know, Harry Basil. Sure. Yeah, I mean,

and these types of guys that do similar, not similar even, it's just that type. Visual. Yeah, visual, yeah, comedy in that way. And obviously I think that you're, he was before you, but I thought you were so funny, and you just, you crushed. Oh, thanks. You were a crusher.

It was a fun, yeah, Jay would always say, because Jay would get grief from a lot of comics. He'd say, why do you have them carrots up in the middle? And he would say, you know, you always come to the goods, you know, it's the hominy. So I had this one in particular, just never in my life will forget this is a comic. I go and I have to do the rehearsal for the,

the people that check the, what do they call that? The sound? No, the, approve the people that check the, what do they call that, the sound? No, the approve the jokes, like not checks and balances. Oh, I hate that. Not checks and balances, but that other thing. And so she sits over at the clipboard and she would determine what I could get away with, what I can't do, and she would always just like,

after my rehearsal, she'd say, you know, you can't do the gay mousetrap or whatever it was. I'm like, okay. The best one is I had a closer and it was like closing bit and it was a podium for Bill Clinton and it was a podium and it had all this foot pedals and and and buzzers and I'd be like I didn't I did not have you know sex. And the buzzer would go and I'd say but I did not. Bing bing right. And the last punchline the big cum shot would be the Montalewinski's head would come up

Under the thing so I'm doing I'm like I did not have and also in the head would come and so visually just boom Right and then I say not now and I finished the thing So you know the lap everyone's dying the whole the whole your studio audience This is good to me. She I see you walking over she goes you can't do that that and she goes okay now the poke I said well got not the podium she goes you can do the podium yeah you just can't you can't put your head hand on her head so I said well I said the same thing I said that's the joke is not now and she just you can't I so went to the prop guys I said could you make my foot pedal make it like bring one more brings it down now you tape this thing in four in

The afternoon we're going at five. There's no time for these guys to make it. So I just said Okay, we're on live It's at the moment. I do the joke head pops up the crowds going nuts And I said not now and I just use my elbow she didn't say help. She just said don't use your hands Oh smart. Yeah, well smart and then I got just reprimanded after the show for that, but she's like, you're so smart, you're so, I told you not to use your hand. I said I used my elbow, I didn't use my hand.

But I had to have the ending. So I had a bit on, so I did one tonight show on Leno, and I have this bit about, I think my roommate's gay, every time I come home he always wants to wrestle, you know what I mean? Let's wrestle, right? And then my roommate jumps on top of me, but I use the stool as me, and I'm my roommate,

and you know, he gets on and he kinda like at the end does a little pump. Nice, doesn't he? Right? And they go, you can't do the pump. Yeah, and that's the whole, right. But I did the pump. Yeah.

And nothing happened, no one said anything. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have to do it. Yeah. Do said anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have to do it. Do it live! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta Bill O'Reilly. Just fuckin' do it live! And in my mind I'm like,

cause I have to show every muscle, especially my thrust. The rants are always the best aren't they? Like Kasey Case, oh my god. How great is that? Yeah, it's great. You must thrust hard, huh? Yeah.

Okay. I did a show, me, yes. Yeah, yeah. But it's just not on NBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're so built. Yeah, I got it. I saw my hate mail, I'm carrying all my hate mail. Yeah, yeah.

Now, because I get a lot, and you know, do you read comments or no? No. Neither. But is that something that you have to discipline yourself, because I read comments or no? No. Either. But is that something that you have to discipline yourself because I have to discipline myself. Yeah. Don't read it, don't read it.

No, I don't read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't. Did you used to read it? I think no because we didn't have all that social media when I was starting so there wasn't, you just hear it after the show in the hallway, I'm a fucking guy, suck.

You know, that would be the same as reading Instagram. The worst is when they go up to your fucking feature and they go, you're better than that. Yeah. You blew the guy away. Yeah, yeah, he had the prime spot. He had the, yeah, why did you go last?

He's, he's. I know, imagine if you had to, oh yeah? Well, he'll headline next show, right? And then how is he gonna fare? Mom! Okay, I hate it next show. Right? And then how is he gonna fare? Bum! Okay? I hate it. What, John?

You know what I mean? You don't even know that position. It's so humiliating when they go up to your feature who does 10 minutes, the prime spot, right? No one knows them, so you could just go, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, right, right? And it's like we have to pace ourselves. Right?

The expectations. Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. The expectations. Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. That happens to me a lot. I do 10 minutes on shows and. No.

See they call that a spot, right? We call them a spot. Yeah, we call them a spot. So when I just did a show the other night, no, I was that guy. But I haven't. You were never that guy. Yes I was.

When? In the 70s? In the 40s, in the 70s. And I would do spots and I was bringing, I used to literally, like I'd call it a little guest set. I'd bring it like a little trunk. And I would yell that in the hallway. People were like, get your shit out of the hallway.

But I remember one time, last week, I was in the middle of my crowd and I went, I go into the crowd and I give out shots of crown and I just fuck with the crowd a little bit. And this guy, he's just guy, he's just so like, sitting there, he's like, dude, good spot tonight. And I just lost my mind, I'm like, I'm in front of the crowd, I'm like, nice spot.

I said, it's a fucking hour and a half show, it's not a fucking spot, good set. It's not a fucking set, I was just, I mean, for D.A.T.E., I'm still talking about it. I'm just a little mad. Yeah, yeah, you didn't say that to him. My crew is like, what's wrong with you? I said, you better call it a fucking set.

It's not a set, it's an hour and a half show. It takes, fucking nice. Nice spot. Nice spot, nice spot. Yeah, yeah, fuck off. Yeah, fuck off. Yeah, or when they go, you're pretty funny. Yeah.

Or, yeah, you're pretty funny. Just don't say anything. Yeah, or, yeah, do we all, we get them all right. I never wanted to come. We, right, tell them, honey, we didn't want to come to show you she fucking hate you in fact But we went to the show tonight in such a great time like oh, that's good. It's sort of turned out, okay Yeah, but we didn't want it and they'll say it again. No, we we hated you. We've always hated you Yeah, and I'll go so but now we're good yeah, yeah, and they're like oh now no your show is actually pretty good

I'm like well actually pretty good. Okay, I'll take actually. Yeah, you know, it just, you know. Funny that we thought it was gonna be. Yeah, do you hate, can I ask you something? Do you hate elitism in comedy? Elitism? Elitism? No, no, you said it right.

I just said it's a big word for carrot top. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, you mean like just in general. They're smuggy, you smug-y comedians. We called them, I'm trying to think back on my day, we'd call them like two hip for the room guys. So I wouldn't be playing in a club where they had, you know, my notes on a stool,

because I didn't do that. Right, right, right, right. So I would just, you know, I always went for the masses. I was playing colleges. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I never had, you know. Like you too, I always went for the masses. I was playing colleges. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I never had, you know. Like you too, you're you too. I'm, well.

Yeah, yeah, I'm like, I'm a local band. You know what I mean? No, no, no. No, it was just, I always just did my thing. I didn't really go and do like, you know, I just, I still would do topical stuff. I still do topical stuff, but I didn't do it in a sense. I didn't see your nails.

I didn't see it. I get it in my nails too. Oh, look at that. Okay. Let's see your, oh wait, look's see you. Oh wait look my toes are colored Blur this out. I think people got to pay money for this. They're like purple and sweet Girl man with nails. Yeah, people, that we get that too. Why are you painting nails?

Wait, wait, yeah, yeah. Come back again with the fucker. What the fuck you say, motherfucker? No, no. What'd you say, motherfucker? I said I never seen grown men with painting nails. Really? Now you have?

Now I have, too. Me, Carrot Top, Bert Kreischer, we all do it. Yeah. Who's Shaquille O'Neal're Shaquille O'Neal. Shaquille O'Neal does it, dude. Is that like part of the elite? Oh, that's elite? Is that a comedy?

It costs $20. Yeah, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could get you one tonight. No. All right, why, you never get your feet or hands on? Part of my hands, but not my feet. How about your balls waxed?

Yeah, I'm just asking. Your balls aren't masked? No, it's a package deal. Yeah. Are you shaved or not shaved on there? Me? Yeah. Completely no hair.

OK, I'll show you one. OK. Great. Same. OK. What do we do? And the weird thing is I look twice. How do you?

I looked and I said, OK. And then I looked again. I'm like, why am I looking twice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I shaved my butthole, everything. I have people shave mine, I don't shave. Really? Is it dwarf or?

No, yeah. Yeah, they're the best at it. They're already down there. They're already? I know, I know. Not now. What? Not now.

Oh, not now. Oh, you're gonna call him back? Call him back. Call him back. Call him back. Call him back. Call him back. Call him back. Call him back.

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at philipsleep.com slash belly. Okay, well you did it with the hand too. I understand that, but maybe the elbow wouldn't have worked better. Anyway, let's just move on from that. And do you work out? Do I work out? Yeah, like, look at him, dude! No, I got punched really hard and it's swelling. I got stung by a bee right here.

Yeah, yeah. Now, I work out, but not as much as I used to. I still lift a little just to stay in shape, just to stay in shape. You gotta be in shape. Because you used to be skinny, but now you're buffed out. I'm still skinny. I weigh 156 pounds. I'm skinnier than people think. Yeah, yeah.

You're 156, how tall are you? I'm 6'5". Yeah. See, here's the thing. He weighs how I weigh, but he's much taller. I'm still fat then. Yeah, see, I always do that when I go to the doctor's. Ever how I weigh, but he's much taller. So I'm still fat then.

Yeah, see how we always do that when I go to doctors, ever since I was a kid, actually the clipboard, she'd say, how tall are you? And I'd say six five, and she goes, how much do you weigh? And I'd say 220, and she'd go 220. And how does it, wait, you're not six five. What the fuck? I'm like, what?

You're not two, what are you? Yeah, great thing to do. Is that your sock? Is that your sock? That's my sock. Put your sock back on. I know, well, I was gonna kill time. No, no, no, we ended up sock. Put your sock back on. I know why I was gonna take, you know, kill time. No, no, no, we ended up.

Put your sock back on. I'll remember it today. Okay, okay, okay. I'll put it in my mind. You know why in my mind now his foot is in his sweaty shoe? Oh, okay. Is it sweating? Okay.

I'm not nervous or anything. Yeah. So I'm gonna ask you some, because we've never met before. Yeah, I don not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not seemed very happy. I was gonna knock on the window, but I didn't wanna be that guy, you know what I mean? I was also, no one knew who I was back then. But that's the only time I've physically seen you, you know what I mean? So I'm gonna ask you some basic questions

for my audience, okay? Who came up with the carrot top? I got it out. No? I didn't wanna ask it because it's like, because I don't know the information. It's like, you know, maybe most people know, but it's like, I want to know.

Honestly, I was starting out doing comedy. I didn't even have an act yet. I had no jokes. And I was in my class drawing something for a marketing class. I drew logos for these things I was supposed to work. And then for some reason, I drew a carrot and a carrot holding a microphone

and I said, a carrot top or something. And I made the logo and my friend said, what's that? I said, it's from my comedy career. He says, you're a comic? I said, no, but when I become a comic, I have the logo, the hard part's over. I've got the logo. What's so funny? I went on stage and I just said to the guy to bring me up,

can you bring me up as Carrot Top? And he's like, Carrot Top? And I had this big red wig on. And my hair was this big red, and I had this red wig to cover it. So when they brought me up, I said, hey, yeah, nobody laughed. And I said, it's not that funny.

And then it was, so then it made kind of a bit. But people, if you look up on my, people say that I got it from my swimming coach. I'm like, I don't think I ever, remember my swimming coach say, I wanna call him Carrot Top. I only got into swimming so I could shave my legs. Really?

You're Potato Bottom. Potato Bottom. Potato Bottom. You're Fudge Top. You're Fudge Top. Yeah, yeah, Fudge Middle, really. Fudgeop. Yeah, yeah, fudge middle really. Fudge middle. Yeah, you're fudge middle.

Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's what you are, dude. And your rice cake? No. No, I don't think it works. It's gotta be a body part. Body part. Like, so you come up with something else.

A cotton top, if you had white hair, make a cotton top. It doesn't have to be a vegetable, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't think that, if you can't hair, make you a cotton top. It doesn't have to be a vegetable, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't think that, if you can't, you have to think that long, the joke's over. Damn it.

I know. My character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, did you start at clubs? Yeah. Which, where? In Florida. What part?

Let me guess. Let me guess. Tadahassee. What? Wait, Tadahassee's not in Florida, right? Yeah, Tadahassee's not in Florida. It is, yeah. I started in South Florida. South Florida. Wait, Tallahassee's not Florida, right? Yeah, Tallahassee's not Florida. I started in South Florida.

The South Florida. South West Palm Beach. Oh, West Palm. Fort Lauderdale. Wow! None of the improvs are there back then. No, there were comedy corners, it was called the Comedy Corner.

Yeah, the worst is the Miami. But there were Catch a Rising Star. Really? Yeah. The worst was the old Miami improv. Yeah. They have that pillar old Miami improv. Yeah. They have that pillar in the middle, or something in the middle of the room.

Oh my God, that was a devastating room for me. Yeah. But I did all the clubs. Wow. Then we got into colleges, and that was just kind of like, you know, it just was amazing. You know, that's where it really took off.

I just started doing, you know, but the weird thing was I would do like a cafeteria in the morning at a college university of University of what at South Alabama and they're in their cafeteria and that night I would do University of Alabama in their stadium so it was the every how crazy is that you're playing a cafeteria where people were eating and not giving a shit and that night you're a star in a big arena so it was was so weird to go to your rock star and then you're working a fucking library. So yeah.

I've never had one good college show ever where I walked off and go, oh that was great. You know, it was years ago and I think a lot of things have changed with that because when I was playing college, that's what they wanted, but they wanted your reverence, they wanted my plate for a bulimix, they wanted my plate for bulimics, they wanted a bong, it'd be a lamp,

look, it was a bong, it was a lamp, so you could, when they had parents' weekend, you could hide your bong by putting a lamp, it was all this college material, and they'd howl at it, but now, I would never go to play a college. Oh my God, right? I think it'd be tough. It'd be depressing. I think so. I mean, I don never go to play a car. Oh my god, right? It would be I think it'd be tough Yeah, but yeah, it'd be depressing. I think so. Yeah, I mean, I don't know maybe like they but it was a different time

Yeah, people enjoyed people enjoyed everything back then. I've done Really like a stage the size of this fucking oh, yeah keyboard. Is that you? Yeah, this is someone on red that posted this is carrot top playing at my college Wow Wow Who's the chick on the right? She's beautiful. She's beautiful. Oh, the other one. The girl. Oh.

It's my right. Oh yeah. It was my right. I was saying the right, that lady's beautiful. Right. That's when I had my, Jesus Christ. You don't remember what college? You probably don't.

No, that's a stupid question. No, but I fucked her. You could see it. You could see it. You could see in the... When I was in Mission Impossible last night, some black dude walks in front of me and goes, wow, do you remember me? What? Oh, he's still looking at the picture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe just a dude. He goes, do you remember me? And I go, what? He goes, right on, sounds fair. And I'm like, yeah, I said hi to you. Like how the fuck would I remember you, bro? It's crazy.

A part of me was gonna go, oh yeah, you're that black guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't say hi to a lot of black people. I remember you. Some people think that we remember people. Like they take a photo. Oh yeah, they always do that. You remember when we came 10 years?

I'm like, yeah, you know you don't. Here's the photo. I said, oh, I still don't remember. Yeah, I know. I mean, I still don't remember that. Yeah, they'll come back 10 years later from like a club that you were once at. And they go, I was here 10 years ago.

Here's your baby. Yeah, yeah. I've only done that twice in my life. What? Going to a comedy club, meeting a lady, and then hooking up. I never did a lot of that. I guess back in the day, that was it.

I was bad. You were, yeah, but- And I was carrot top. All the comics were like, what the, how does carrot top get in? I get the hottest, the hottest. I know. And people, I mean mean back in the day

That's all people talk about like dude characters like that surprised me dude. I mean, I don't I said they'd like my you know I don't know but they were Club owners like I think you can close faster than me nice. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have the gift of gab I can open but I can't close I can go. Hello Right, but I don't have the gift of gab I can open but I can't close I can go hello Right, but I can't go goodbye What's your typical clothes that you've tried in the past? Oh? I'll do this do you want to go up to my hotel room play chess nice? With CK we're gonna have fun

What It's a fun game. These chess pieces are sticky. No, I'll go, hey you want to go up and wrestle? I think I know how I know, yeah. No, no, no, no, what I'm saying is I'm trying to make it so it's like, oh he's being funny. And what's your opening then? Your closing is hey, I want to work with you. Hi. Hi. No, no, no, not just hi. Hi.

I'll say something like arbitrary or something like, God, I love your shoulder blades. That's good. You know what I mean? To get a little giggle. Your face, not so much, but your shoulder blades. And then at the end I'll go, you want to go wrestle? Do you want to, I'll sometimes'll go you want to go out and wrestle do you want to?

Also doesn't go you want you want to cuddle? Upstairs and cuddle, but how do you say you want to go upstairs and you know me now? I don't know how to do it Try that what do you say as I just say you want to I'm a girl okay? I love your show. Thank you. It's can I call you Scott you sure? Why? That's why all your mom called you Scott. Yes, okay? Well. I'll just call you can't have it. Don't come. I call you Scott? Sure. Why? What's that? Why? Oh, your mom calls you Scott? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll just call you Carrot Top.

Can I call you Mr. Top? Yeah, don't call me Mr. Top. Okay, yeah. All right, anyway. Do you have an Uber pickin' you up soon? No, but um. I'm already annoyed with you. No, no, no, no.

Anyway, so I really, I've just been a fan so long. Thank you. And I just, you know, what are you doing? I was gonna go up and watch my own special on HBO. I jerk off to it. Would you like to come see it? It's really funny. Yeah, if that's what you would say?

No. How would you get around that? That was great, I was on a plane just last week and I was watching some thing and the guy next to me, he was like 90 and he kept looking over at me because I was laughing at this Instagram thing. And he said, I don't wanna bother you,

but man, something's really making you laugh. Do you mind sharing with me what you're watching? I don't have a phone, I'm 90, so I said, yeah. And I showed him, and he's like, oh man. And he says, is that like a joke on your show? And I'm like, why would I be watching a joke on, like I'm watching me on the plane, like watching Carrot Top.

Have you seen him? It's fucking great. So. He knew who you were. Yeah, cause he says, is that a joke on your show? I said, yeah, no. You know. Do you get, I can't imagine being you because,

I mean, I guess, go ahead. Have you ever used a prop to like pick up a girl? No. I don't, I mean, that Pringles can might come in handy later. I haven't yet. that Pringles can might come in handy later Yeah, no, I don't think I don't walk around with props Pop in my pocket I mean, I I mean I've done shows where people have walked up after me doing a prop and said that's really clever

and that made me laugh, how did you think of it? And that might get them wanting to talk. I don't think I ever walked up and just, yeah. Do you know Willie Tyler? Yes, and Lester? No, I don't know Lester. I know Lester better than Willie Tyler. You know who they are?

Legends. Yeah, legend for sure. Yeah, if you go to any ventriloquist convention, Willie Tyler, there'll be a section dedicated to Willie Tyler. Yeah, legend for sure. Yeah, if you go to any ventriloquist convention, Willie Tyler, there'll be a section dedicated to Willie Tyler. Yeah. What a nice man. Oh, he's great.

He's been doing it for thousands of years. Thousands of years. Really? Honestly. Yeah, there he is. There he is. Yeah, so Lester is the... Adam Sandler looks like shit.

I know. Yeah. Lester looks better than Adam Sandler. Wait. Is that, no, that's Lester on the side, yeah. Yeah, yeah, well you think that was Michael Jackson in the middle? Yeah, yeah, but so he told me a story once,

I opened for him, this is in the 90s, and he's like, oh, and he told me a story about how he used to put Lester on the, like when he's hooking up with women in the hotel room and sometimes the request is put Lester out in the bed, too Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that kind of just turned me on a little bit Just have him watch just he just gonna watch. Yeah, he's so and he can watch that guy's seen some shit Look at his eyes. I know But what a kind man. Yes, very kind and legend.

Been doing it for thousands of years. See, I always play homage to the greats from before. I'm tired of these young comics that don't know shit. They don't know what came before them. You know what I mean? It's like, I've always been a historian of comic. There's not, I could run into Alan Stevens, know who he is, even the old,

like you know David Tyree, these, yeah these old, you know what I mean? Like I just know. I knew it was Stevens, yeah you said it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just, you know, I always just know who people are because I'm just a huge fan of, and it doesn't even have to, like,

you know, I hate these young guys, like I don't know how they made it or what else. It's like, do you know how hard it is? They made it because there's something about them that connects with an audience, you know what I mean? Which is, and they're dynamic in some sort of way. And it's like, I just, these younger comics, they just have no respect.

Yeah, you make me cry now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you, I mean, that doesn't bother you. No. No. No. No. No.

No. That just fell into a fucking hole. Yeah, no. And I was just like, how do I get out of this hole? You know what I mean? Well, how do you get out of that hole? There's nothing. I should have gone down that trail.

Yeah. Is that what it is? I think you're fine. Well, I mean, young comics, you're talking about young comics that don't. It's okay, we let't have gone down that trail. Yeah. Is that what it is? I think you're fine. I mean, young comics, you're talking about young comics that don't- It's okay, we let go. Let's let go. Because if they're not successful or successful yet, with that kind of attitude, it won't be.

So how long do you give a young comic to, like is there a certain point where you go, it's been a while? That's a great question because I think you're born with it. I mean, I think that you were, it's been a while. That's a great question, because I think you're born with it. I mean, I think that you were, yeah, I think that you're literally like, you have it, by the way. I don't think that you go to a comedy class and they teach you timing and they teach you how to pause

and they teach you how to be, you're just funny. I was never, I just was never told joke in my life, but I listened to my father, who was a great joke teller, and I would watch Carlin and the Tonight Show with Johnny Carlin, and he just had that timing, and you kind of learned it from watching it, but then you would go up there. I don't think when they have comedy classes,

I think you can tell, I just did a show called Kill Tony when probably you're very familiar. They bring all the comics up. Within less than a second, you can already tell. Like you just said, the it. The second they walk, they have a demeanor, a look at their eye, their hip, how they hold the mic, right away, or they're like, they're not funny.

I just can tell right away. But would you ever tell a comic, let's say I'm a guy that's been doing comedy for 15 years, and I don't have a credit to my name. I'm still featuring or opening, you know what I mean? What would you say to this person? I don't think you'd have to. I think he knows he'd shit.

He needs to probably get out of the business. See, that's the thing. Some people don't know. Well, he knows. No, because. He knows. No, I'll tell you, because I don't want to say. Yeah, I'm still working at Caroline's on Tuesdays.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I used to live in an apartment building and I love this guy, I can't say his name because I don't want him to be sad. But he used to come over to my apartment and go, because he was a standup, and he would go, listen. I would tell him a joke and you would hear barely a laugh. Oh, well he would tell you to be sure.

Yeah, yeah, he'd play me a set. Oh, play me a set. And he goes, I'm killing. And I Yeah, he'd play me a sad play me. Oh, and he goes I'm killing And I want to look at him go It's not good. Well, you could barely hear a lot. Yeah, I just lie and say that's great. Why no, I'm kidding Yeah, yeah, because no no one no comics asked me for any anything, you know, what do you mean? Well like that I mean, I don't think they I mean and the killoni was a good example because that Every company came out was like wow care time

They were they were they were very nice to me Yeah, and and there was one particular that came out and I didn't mess with them Because I've been messed with my whole crash. I let them do they only get a minute, right? Yeah, so I didn't I didn't give them grief. I just at the very end. It was a Short black eye and he came out in his first joke was the microphone he takes the mic I saw it. Yeah, and sticks and puts the stand back and starts going to his thing So I'm automatically wrote down a note Then when he got done, he says, you know Tony's immediately like that fucking sucked

Yeah, and and he said but care you had something for him. I said actually I have a it's not it's not a criticism Criticism. Yeah, it's more of a just an idea Maybe I think the crowd and I and I said actually I have a it's not it's not a criticism criticism. Yeah, it's more of just an idea Maybe I think the crowd and I and I said to the crowd I think we all at the same time right when you walked out You're so small and you grab the mic out of the stand and you put the mic stand back Yeah, I thought you were gonna just say something like This is already not going well It's something he goes. Oh, but see that would be a prop I said

And he goes, oh, but see, that would be a prop. I said, ah, maybe. I said, yeah. Did that get a laugh? Yeah, I said kudos to you. It is, but it's a prop that's already there. You didn't bring it, but it's a prop everybody uses. So you don't have to do the whole thing and make it into a guitar, you know, use the prop.

But if it's something just obvious, you wouldn't have to do it over and over. Like, Louie Anderson would do that. He'd walk out the mic and he'd go, oh my God, can you see me? I mean, but it was funny. Because he's behind, you know, you can't see him behind the, can you see me? But it was funny, because he's behind, you can't see him behind the, can you see me behind the microphone?

But it was instantly, you wanted that, you know? I thought the guy was gonna do that, like he couldn't get it out and they'd say, all right, this is already not going well. So a guy walks in a bar, you know, anything. Funny, I think it would have done well. Yeah, yeah, I'm a whore. I'll do anything for a laugh.

On stage, it's all about survival for me, baby. I'll do all of that. I have lines when the mic detaches from the microphone. Every scenario. It's good, you have to. You have to survive. You have to, yeah. Ramsey opened for me in Long Beach.

His last bit, the mic came off, and this is what he did, he went. Right? And to me, I was back, it was 3,000 people. And I was like, do something, you know what I mean? And he just put the thing, and he struggled to do it too. Oh yeah, and you hear it, you hear it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking, oh. It's the three pr And you hear it, and you hear it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fucking, oh. It's the three prongs you have to line them up sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus. And click, right? And he just put the mic back on the stage and walk off stage. And I was like, you have to have something there.

Right? Yes, indeed. You have to be prepared for anything. You have to be prepared for everything. Everything, anything. There would be a comedy club that we always play, we. I'd always play in Nashville and the back wall had an outlet but it didn't have a, it was a plate.

There was no outlet, it was just an outlet with a plate cover so I would always, I was walking, someone is an outlet for an Amish, fucking Amish, but it would kill every night. And the club owner's like, no one's ever mentioned that outlet thing. You can't miss it. It's the backdrop of the whole club.

So yeah, you always had to be prepared for something, anything. That's part of your survival. It's about survival. Do you have little quips like that on stage now or no? Like if that happened to me? Yeah. I don't even sound like that,

but like if that happened. You actually do. You did when you said it. I don't know. Maybe maybe if the mic comes off what do you do? Oh she's a surcha. Wait they can't hear you because you haven't put the mic back in. So he just do that to himself. So everyone sees it. I'll yell it out. I don't know. It's never happened to me. That's never happened before.

Oh, if the microphone goes out, you mean? No, oh, that's another one. I was at Stand Up Live, and is it Stand Up Live? It was one, I don't know if it was that, but it was, the mic completely clicked out for like five minutes. What would you do?

If the mic clipped out, I would just, I don't know, do a little dance or? Oh, do a five minute dance. Five minutes? It was five minutes. Imagine them dancing for five whole minutes. It should be fixed in a minute. Yeah, yeah, wow.

What the fuck was that guy doing? I don't think you could dance for one minute. I could dance for two minutes. Okay. Slow dance, slow dance. Yeah, another thing that happened in Houston, were you in Houston? I was in Houston.

Gilbert? No, but you remember? Were you at the show when the guy fell down? So in the middle of my show, the guy stood up and just passed out. He was like 350 pounds. Were you there? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I couldn't ignore it. Cause like the whole session got up and they're trying to help them up. This is like 30 minutes, right? And you have to figure it out. Yeah. I didn't even know what did I do?

Oh, I just stopped and went, hey man, are you okay? Like being real. I didn't make it. Oh yeah, they bring in like medics and stuff. Yeah. You still have to sit there and go, all right, we're just filming an ER. Yeah, yeah.

Has that happened to you? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happens all the time in Vegas. And it's right in the front row. You're just like, oh, fuck. And they have medics and police and yeah. Have you not been able to kind of get back?

And we just play on something. My sound guy will play some kind of emergency song or something. Oh, right, right, right, right. And then I'll just, I don't know. Yeah, sometimes, but the microphone going out, one time I got lucky being the prop guy, is the mic went out and I had a megaphone

for some other prop and I dug it out of the bottom of the, I said, where's my fucking megaphone? And I pulled it out and I was like, all right, and I did the rest like five, 10 minutes with a megaphone. But luckily I had the goddamn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So by that, you know, the prop saved me. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, do you have, are you prepared for all those? Bring a megaphone every show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So by that, you know, the props saved me. Yeah. Yeah, it's... Do you have... Yeah, are you prepared for all those things? Bring a megaphone every show. Yeah, yeah, bring a megaphone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what the...

In case. And a guitar. Have you ever had a situation where somebody climbed up on stage? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. What do you do? I do nothing. I just go, hi.

I mean, you know. Really? Yeah. That's my opener for women. Well, this guy... Hi. go, hi. You know. Really? Yeah. That's my opener for women. This guy. Hi. Oh hi. Hi.

Hi. Yeah, yeah. Wow. No, it happens a lot. They just come on stage and my security's like. So I'm, it could be 10 minutes. Is it him? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I can literally stand there and know everything about the person before they finally come out and drag them off. Wow. And they're always, they always are just like, oh my God, I love you, fuck, can I hug you? I'm like, yeah.

And then they're like, shit man, I loved you forever. And I'm like, right on, so I'm a little busy right now. We can do this later, man. Why are you laughing? Huh? Oh my God. No, it's because he asked you, that was your security guard, and he does look like a security guard,

and he's like old and... He's old? What? He could kick ass after that. He could crush your skull. Exactly, but this man could, with one hand, just crush your skull. Is that your security guard?

No. Oh. Yeah, I was making a joke. And that's funny. I could... Yeah, yeah. I was out, I was in Vegas, and speaking of having to crush your skull, but not knowing.

I'm at this bar, really it's honestly like a nightclub and they came over and they said, can Mike Tyson sit at your table? I was like, sure. Like, so we had all these, you know, they do the liquor service and the bar, there's a bottle of Crown and then a vodka or whatever. And he sits down and this guy walks over and says um don't Give him anything if he asks right so I said okay So they got off I'm not even yeah, so I'm just sitting there. I first thing you do he leans over

He says what do you think and and I said I'm a Crown he goes can it give me a crown I said oh man I was just told I I'm not supposed to give you anything he think well. I'm telling you to give me something I'm like, so I said you put your guy fuck my guy. I'm in the crown. So I poured him a crown I kind of like like put it back like it was mine. Yeah, yeah, I did one behind the thing Yeah, just slick it Wow, and he like slammed it put down and then he's another one So I was like dude, oh my oh, I can't do many more cuz I think you know This is right after all that He's in a lot of trouble. Yeah, so I think I gave him two or three shots and finally I was like dad I said Mike I gotta stop and these these kids come walking by right here right in front of the table

Yeah, and they're like champ what happened? You're a fat fuck and I literally was like he's like He he moved as, you would never imagine him move. Yeah, I can imagine. Over the bottle of bottles. Oh my God. And I'm like holding onto his leg like, Mike. And he finally, I'm gonna fucking knock. And I said to the kids, I said,

this guy can literally kill you, like literally, and would right now. He has no, he's not even allowed to have crown. He's gonna kill. Yeah. And so people, they finally game over and I said, Mike, and the guy said, did you give him, I said, I didn't give him anything.

These kids though, who would do that, right? We just, you walk up to them, you don't know, and say, hey, what happened, Champ, huh? You fucking fat, and like, they're dead. He just would have just killed them. There's two people you don't do that. Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal. Yeah, and Steven Seagal.

You can outrun Steven Seagal. I was kidding. Yeah, Mike is- You don't do that. You don't do it. Wow. Hello. You don't do it to me? You don't do it to me?

You don't do it to me? I don't know. Mine's De Niro. It's proper De Niro. Yeah, yeah. My fucking crop is De Niro. Yours is more De Niro. He's talking to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you don't- He's such a nice guy, Mike. Oh, he's talking to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, he's such a nice guy, Mike. Oh, he's so sweet. Even after three shots, he was really, really nice. Yeah, I'll run into him once every five years, but he always says hi, a hug. He's just such a kind, kind-hearted guy, yeah. But those kids are dumb, you know what I mean?

Like, why would you, I don't even know, in your mind, this guy is a lethal weapon. Yeah, well, you still have, Professor Shalom would always tell stories about people wanting to beat him up in restaurants and bars. And just so they could say, I beat up Rocky. And he's like, I'm an actor.

You know, like, I'm not really fucking Rocky. Yeah, who's the most- People wanna beat me up just cause I'm Carrot Top. They just wanna beat me up for that. No, no, listen to me fuck off yeah did yeah so I've always loved you thank you yeah yeah and who's the most famous person you've met oh wow cuz I know I mean I've met um yeah everybody you've met everybody I met a lot of people what was what was a meeting where you're like

I can't believe it. Well, it was two. So one was Queen, the band Queen, they came to my show and I was just, The whole band. Yeah, and I didn't know what to do. Freddie was there. Freddie was not there, unfortunately.

Then that's what's up with you. No. But Roger, that's true. Simon and Garfunkel came, but Simon wasn't there. Simon and Garfunkel, and Garfunkel, no, not even Garfunkel, it was the drummer. But the drummer that used to play in Spitfire. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but that was a pretty cool royalty. Amazing. Ended up going to his house in England and having lunch at his house. Oh wow, yeah. So I was like, okay, and looking at his drums that have, you know, this is from every concert, the one, the one, Feed America, whatever it was, Live Aid. Yeah. Amazing, the only one, the one that feed America,

whatever it was, Live Aid, amazing. The only one, big star. Isn't that what Freddie got? Shocked, yeah. Yeah, no. Oh man. Gotta keep that in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh man. Okay, sorry. So there was. Thank God. Yeah, and then who else? I was in Aspen, walking down the little teen in town of Aspen, and it was like seven in the morning, it was like dusk, and I had gone to a gym to work out

because we all wanted to go skiing, so I said, I'm gonna go early, it's a little gym. So I go, I'm walking, and there's no one on the streets, I just see this guy coming at me. Let me guess, let me guess, let me guess. Danny DeVito. Nice. Close. Okay, good.

And he says, Dauper! And I was like, oh my god, I didn't know what to do, right? It's Jack Nicholson. But I'm like, he says, Topper! And I just like, I was like, Jack! And he says, uh, the fuck are you doing out here now? I said, I went to, of course you went to a gym. Look at you, you're not even sweating. I just walked from that fucking, see that building right there? I just walked from that fucking see that building right there I just walked from there. I'm fucking sweating cuz I'm an old fuck. We're good He kept saying he's old kept saying it old then he finally says to me. This is kind of cool your comic he said You're so goddamn good that fuck that Jay Leno can fuck himself

and I said no no no Jay's like one of my biggest fans like Jay books me on the show like Every week I do Jay because no no no no but he never lets you talk he always makes you do your shit and then he's like thanks he never lets you tell a story fuck him and I just thought that was interesting because he would notice that because I would always beg for that with Jay I said when I get done with the set can I sit over and tell a story about my dad or something or growing up in comedy. No, no, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, a bit with the prompt, you know. Wow.

But it was a great, yeah, Jack Nugent. And he was so cool. Wow. And I just thought, this is, and it was before we had cell phones, you couldn't call like, I'm talking to Jack Nugent. I mean, just even the thought that he knew your act and knew who you were.

No, literally. I mean, it would be like, how does he know? No, and he knew that tonight, he said, I watched that shit, and he knew it, you know? Yeah, any famous person I know, they don be like, how does he know? Oh, wow. And he knew that tonight, he said, I watched that shit and he knew it. Yeah. Any famous person I know, they don't know who I am. Yeah, yeah, ever. They're like, you want an autograph or a photo?

And I go, no, I'm in the movie with you. I mean. That's it. You know what I mean? We're doing a scene right now. I mean. I mean, it's like, they don't know who the fuck. There have been times where the next day

I have a scene with them and they still don't, I'm not kidding you. Like, are you here? I go, no, remember yesterday that scene, right? Where I came in, we had, oh yeah, she goes, oh. That's great. No, it's not. No, I mean, great.

You go to your hotel and you're like. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You know what I mean? It happens, I think, yeah. But I did a movie with Betty White and it's pretty big, right? I walk into the, she was on The Tonight Show, I was on there, and I walked back to the makeup area,

and I said, I don't wanna bother, you know, so I said, Betty, I don't wanna bother you, but I just wanted to say hi, and she goes, oh, hi, and I said, remember that movie we did together? And she says, we were in a movie together? And I said, yeah, and she said, oh, that must have not gone well. I said, no, it was Dennis the Menace.

It did great. Remember, Don Rickles is in it. And she's like, I never been in a movie with Don Rickles. I was like. Oh, was she 99 then? Like. Yeah, no, no, yes. Oh, she was old.

She said, I wasn't ever in a movie with Don Rickles. So I'm like, yeah, we were, we both were. Yeah, so when I did Sex and the City, the five episode, Danielle said that we were on set, and she kept going, can you get me this? I was like, uh, right? And then she's like, are you hair or makeup? I go, no, no, no.

She thought I was just help. Like every craft service, everything. Can you fill up the jelly beans? But then finally we were in, they were blocking, right? And I'm having lines with her and she's like, you're an actor? And I go, yeah, because I guess she's never seen a fat,

back then I was so fat, like a fat, big headed Korean dude. You know what I mean? But you make such great coffee, I can't believe you're an actor. Yeah, yeah. But you know, it was... What was her name? Candice Bergan.

Candice Bergan, yeah. How do you remember? She looked up old people on IMDB. I know, but dude, I just... See, I gave no hints. You said a woman. Yeah look at that you got a good staff look at that. Yeah wow she had no idea Candice Berger. She was super nice huh? I speaking of assistants my my other assistant but years ago. That's your assistant? No my assistant no that's my

friend Laz. That's actually a homeless guy I don don't know who he is. How do you know Laz? Laz and I have known each other about 35 years since living out here. Laz is a good, dear friend. Wow. My friend, you might even know this guy, he was a comic and we went to Bill Maher's house, I don't know name dropping, but this is great

because you brought up Camus Byrne. I've been to his house too, so thank you. But we're doing a, you know, how am I getting invited to Bill Maher's? He's like, yeah, come to Bill Maher's, my house for a birthday, but I get there, everybody is there, I mean He's like, yeah, come to Bill Maher's house for a birthday. But I get there, everybody is there. I mean, it's like, you know, I mean, everybody.

And I'm like, just blown away at Dennis Miller. And my friend, who's a comic, is with me. And we finally, we're gonna leave. And he says, no, no, Jay's coming. I said, oh, fuck it, say hi to Jay. And he's like, now I'm doing Bill Maher doing Jay. It's like five minutes from me. I'm like, oh, no.

So we walked down that long driveway, all the way down, we're leaving, and here comes Jay walking up the hill. And Florence Henderson stands, and she says, oh my God, hi. And she's talking to Jay, and then she goes, oh my God, hey, Carrot Top. And she loves me, and she hands her wine to my friend Jay.

She goes, I'm done with this, thank you. It was the same kind of thing. And I was like, oh no, he's. How is that possible? Oh, I love you, how have you been? I'm done, thank you. She didn't know who Jay Leno was? No, no, she knew Jay. She came in to my friend.

Oh, your friend. My friends, they stand there. I was like, what the fuck is going on? She goes, how have you been, Carrot Top? I'm done with this, thank you. And to this day, I'll still say, yeah, can you just hold this? I'm done with this. It's funny.

And just like, I'm not a, I'm here for the party too, like you said. I'm here for the party. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Is your friend, he was a celebrity or anything like that? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How come you don't, you have children? No. Nice. They're in here. No, no, no. Let's talk about a little bit of your personal life. Let's talk about you, let's talk about me. Ooh, ooh. No. Can I, no, no. Let's talk about a little bit of your personal life. Let's talk about you, let's talk about me. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

No. Can I, so, were you ever engaged? Have I ever engaged? Engaged. No. Okay. Oh, no. Have you ever been close? No.

I am close now. Oh, right now you're seeing someone in the. Oh! Yeah. No, I'm close. So. No, no, no. I never, I've had relationships up for like eight or nine years and then it's the weird number, it's like eight, nine years and they want to get married and they want

to have a baby and they want to move on. And then you get scared. No, I just tell them, I tell them from day one that I don't. And then they hang up because I just don't, you know, I don't know. I've just been that guy. But even now, I mean, you don't want an heir? Yeah. Where's your money going gonna go when you die?

To last. That's fucked up. Nice work, last. 30 year commitment, I love it. So you've never wanted a family or anything like that? No, you kind of do. I have my ex-girlfriend, actually has a five year old now,

six coming on six, that's basically my kid in a sense. So I almost see her every day. Take her to lunch, teach her manners, girlfriend actually has a five year old now, six coming on six, that's basically my kid in a sense. So I almost see her every day. Take her to lunch, teach her manners and do what a father would do. How to load a gun. You know? Yeah, yeah.

Cause I'm 53 now and I've been really thinking about it. Yeah, I'm 60 so it's like, yeah, as I be like, Letterman, you gotta shoot that thing out soon. Yeah, yeah. Cause Steve Martin had one late. Did he? Couple, yeah, I'd be like Letterman. You gotta shoot that thing up soon. Yeah, yeah. Because Steve Martin had one late. Did he? Couple, yeah. No.

Yeah. So you never sat there and like, oh my God. Not in that voice, no. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, I wish I had kids right now. Like Roseanne, I wish I had a kid right now. What would you do if you had a kid right now? Do you like, I love her. Yeah, Roseanne. we had a kid right now? Do you like her?

I love her. Yeah, Roseanne. Roseanne Barth? Yeah. You don't like Roseanne? I love her. Oh no, I said I love Roseanne, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Because I- No, I love her. Here's what I wanna say about her, right? A lot of people don't like her. Oh, I love her. I love her too, but if you know her personally, right? She's so kind. Oh, absolutely.

You know what I mean? Yeah. She'll go out of her way to say hi. She'll say only good things, like there's people around, oh, this guy, you know what I mean? It's so great. But then you hear, you know what I mean?

You go online, or you run into people that are, you know what I mean? And that's liberal for me. Eee. A little, a little eee. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm's liberal for me. Eee. A little eee. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm liberal. I'm a Kamel guy.

Okay. You know? I never heard of, who's that? Yeah, yeah. But like, but you know, Dave. You said Kamel, we are Kamel. Yeah, yeah. We're Kamel guys.

But it's like, people say fucking crazy things. It's like, dude, you don't know her. No, that's true. It's like, if anything, though, isn't it? I mean, honestly. I know. You meet people and then, not even celebrities, dude, you don't know her. No, that's true, it's like with anything though, isn't it? I mean, honestly, you meet people, and then not even celebrities, right? You meet people in general, and you hear horror stories, and you meet them, and you're like,

oh, that's such a nice guy. Yeah, I've done movies and stuff, or a TV thing where I guest star at something, my agents will even go, you know, be careful with this one. And I'm like, why? Well, they got a bad rep, or this and that, and then you show up, why? Well they got a bad rep or this and that. And then you show up and it's like the opposite. Right, they're great.

Yeah, yeah. It's just all rumors and people, it's just like, so now I just don't listen to people. I just go, I'll see. Yeah. Like you. People say shit about me every day. It's the craziest thing. What do they say?

I put it in the show. What do they say? Well everything from, you know, I have a wig on or something. I always say, wouldn't I pick a better wig if I was gonna pick a fucking wig first? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, facelift.

Would I not look better if I had a facelift? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be just pissed, I'm 60. Yeah. And only in LA can you go to a gym and someone's like, yeah, there's implants. Yeah, I have calf implants. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's only in LA, no one would walk up to someone in Nebraska. Oh so implants? People see that they'll walk up to you and say it? Yeah, I mean when I lived in LA and I go to the gym they'd say man Nice, and I don't have nice legs that you know I I mean I have okay legs But I mean like a bike for a redhead for a redhead, but it make my arms is say like you saw Santino His legs are fucking terrible. Yeah, they are yeah, you see them I Was but no people make up shit all the time. And of course, that's why I don't really use it,

or going back to digress to the reading comments, there's no need to. I already, you post something, I can already see what they're gonna say. And usually it's dumb things, like my agent will read me something and say, did you see the response? I said no, I don't read it.

And he'll read one back and I'll say, What agency? And they read back, CAA. So read one back and they'll say. What agency? And they read back, CAA. So they read back and they'll say things like, you know, just incredible. They didn't even get the joke, like something. They didn't get the joke. We did one, it was clever done.

We had the whole, I did a joke. I said, you know, being in politics, that's a tough room when you play like the thing, right? Cause you one side of the room fucking loves you and the other side of the room hates your guts, right? It was right when they did the State of the Union. So I said, could you imagine that? That would never work.

And imagine being a comic and you're up on the stage, like, and I did this joke, and I had planned it so that this whole half of the crowd stood up, and this half stayed down. Wow. And it was so funny looking and brilliantly done. And I was like, I said, all right, that was weird that like how would just half the crowd not get it? Yeah. And almost all the comments were like I don't get it or I didn't because

they don't follow that they didn't get that. I even said state of the fucking Union. Right, right, right. If I was imagine being me playing in this state building as a comic it would never you know and people still didn't want to get why would it have for the crowd not get the joke it was a good good joke. I'm like, no, what was the joke? I'll remember where the joke was. They said the joke was good, but you know, I said something like, you know, trying to think of what it was something about, uh, about Cal, it was a California thing. Yeah.

God dang. What is it? It's okay, you don't have to. Yeah, but it was a good solid just stand up joke and then elevators, oh he's smoking, I said you can't smoke in, people smoke in Vegas, da da da. You can't smoke in California, even in a fire or something. And elevators you can smoke,

and so they all ah, and the whole crowd, and then this, and that was the best response. Wow. 90% of them were does and that was the best response 90 percent of them were like that was a good joke. Why didn't they have laugh? I'm like, ah, never mind. Just stop following me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, please. Don't be a fan. Yeah My bad, I mean make it good though It's okay. So people tell me things about you so like but if they get to know Bobby, he's a nice guy. So what you're saying is people say what? Yeah, now you're saying, now we're just going to say, well, what are they saying?

What are they saying? I don't even want to know. That was- And you said that like Rosie, like people- That was the most depressing observation. It's like when I go out and people always give me shit about you, but they love me. I was like Rosie, like people. That was the most depressing observation. When I go out and people always give me shit about you, but they love me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. If they get to know you, Bobby, they love you. I love you, Bobby. Despite everything. Despite all the stuff people keep telling you. You love me. People tell me things, man.

What I'm saying is that, so what you're saying to me is that when you go out into the world, people hate me, and then you're my defender. He's your defender. You're my knight in shining armor out there. You said about Rosie, you know, this fight. Who's Rosie? Roseanne.

I mean, Roseanne. Yeah, you don't know her, call her Rosie, dude. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Roseanne. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fight everything.

Yeah. She's a good lady. Yeah, yeah. So people go out Hey, Roseanne. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's my everything. Yeah. She's a good lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people go out there, is there a lot of people? Not even like, I was like one or two guys that tell me, like, hey, Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Uh-huh. And then I'm like, he's a good guy. Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is the last podcast you do with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I with me. No, I'm kidding. No, don't be sad.

We love you. Oh, let's move on. Okay. All right. Scott. Can I ask him a question? Yeah. Okay, sorry about that.

Just do it. So like in the early 2000s, whenever Family Guy did did that riff on you did you like that or you like yeah it's a good question it's not a really good question no it is a good question confrontation no actually nice no confrontation it was interesting because they called me and they said we want to do this episode with you on Family Guy would you like to do the voice for it that's of course it why would I have someone else do my voice yeah so it's gotta be me so you did it so I oh there you go so yeah I did the voice but here. I said, of course, why would I have someone else do my voice? Yeah. So it's gotta be me. So you did it.

Oh, there you go. So yeah, I did the voice. But here's the part that, interesting, for your question. So they sent me the script, and it's funny, I'm in this big castle, and I'm, it's funny, up until I do this thing that I pull out a pair of glasses with a saw on it. And I was like, it's so bad. Like I said, I don't wanna do it. And they was like, it's so bad.

I said, I don't want to do it. And they said, but it's really funny. And I said, no, it's really not. It's a seesaw. And it's like, what the fuck? And I'm like, look, seesaw, get it? And I said, can we do anything else? And of course, McFarland calls me and says, dude, first of all, everyone loves the line.

Secondly, we've already made the animation So I'm like that's fucking lie. You just yeah, yeah, I'd say there is seesaw look at the seesaw Yeah, and people still this day see haha fucking seesaw you brilliant, so I was so mad I'm like I hate this fucking thing and then I go through the airports. We were like fucking seesaw. I'm like okay He was right. Yeah people people still yell see so yeah, yes I mean yeah, sometimes you you know if they're that adamant yeah, that's calling you yeah Yeah, you know I would consider the source of my you know it's Seth McFarlane. He's you know I just didn't like the prop for myself. It was just mmm, but it's fun doing it. It's fun

I don't even get the joke Yeah, what does that mean? That's good? It's making fun of other prop comics. It's like a seagrass. Right. I do more inventions kind of thing instead of a mousetrap for gay mice. It's a mousetrap on a mirror ball so you can catch gay mice. It's hilarious. I think I might have pitched that instead. He was like, that's brilliant,

but we already made the animation. I said, no, no, we can do another one. I have thousands of props. That might've been more, but he wanted to be that, what you're saying, a play on prop comics, and he wanted to make me look stupid. Yeah.

That's initially, that's what it wanted to be done. They say that they already did the animation. Now when you went in the booth, right, did they have it on animation or did they make you do it wild? I don't remember, I think we just did it wild. So they lied. That's what I said, no I knew going into it, they lied.

Because if they already done it, right? Then you have to do the beep beep beep. Yeah, yeah, beep beep and all that stuff, right? So fucking liar! Seth. Yeah, yeah. But it was grateful for them to put me on it. Of course.

And people to this day, they still say, hey, you want to stay with Seth? Yeah. It was great. I get so grateful when I get something. I'll walk up to the showrunner or something and go, thank you so much for this. I get still excited.

You get excited still? Absolutely. Yeah, I can't believe it. You know what I mean? It's so cool. It's like I'm in a playground and I'm doing something that I never thought I would be able to achieve. When you see redheaded people, do you get excited? Like when I see Koreans, I get a little excited.

Yeah, I go, I go, oh, hello. Hello. Hello. And then we'll hug each other. Oh, how nice. How nice. You know what I mean? Yeah.

When I see white people, it's like, hey. Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, people try to hook me up with other redheads. I always think that's funny. They'll say, I have this really hot friend, she's really cute. And I said, oh, and she has red hair too, so it's perfect.

I'm like, what, you got a breed? I don't think, I don't need to fuck another red, most redheads don't really. But when you and Santino met. Yes. Was there an extra like bond? Yeah, we did have a little redhead Bond. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was very, very nice. Horrible legs though, you're right. He has terrible legs, yeah. And he plays golf, it's fucking crazy. But like, redheads and sun, they shouldn't be, yeah. You know that TikTok that happened a month ago saying that redheads were black people? I have a great bit in the show about that.

All right, so do you feel black? My cock does, yeah. I've always said that. I'm telling you seriously, 10, 20 years ago when I was doing comedy, I used to do a line where I'd say something about having a big black cock. And only my crew members, that TikTok came out, it was almost like, what the?

And it would always be a joke, and then I'd say, why do I have a big... Now I've gone back to the old bit, but now I've showed on the show. Your penis? No, the clip of the TikTok. If you're red hair and you're a man, you're a black man. Then I just pause and look at the crowd,

and then I look in my pants like that, and I go, all right. And then everybody laughs, and I said, for years I've asked that question I might little I was a kid yeah I say why do I mommy why do I have a big black dick and she says you're blessed and I'd say our kids are asking you wait have you have you seen this penis no he probably yes no no but look at me right now have you seen enough Scott's penis backstage time you have You have? Backstage shows. Is it girthy? Oh, very girthy. That's awesome.

It's awesome? Awesome. I already imagined it is. I have a very girthy dick. Okay, dude. Redheads have big, big, you know. So you think Andrew has one? No, he doesn't though, no.

You know how you can tell? I don't think so. You know I can tell with like another Korean like, nah, no, I can tell with another redhead. Yeah. Some redheads I just look at and I go, I can tell. I don't like his butthole either. No, not that much.

No, no, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because the cheeks are white, pale white like Cate Blanchett's, right? Okay. But when you get more toward the whole area, it turns redder. What? It's more pinker around the whole area. How close have you gotten to it? Oh, I've seen like the fallopian tubes.

Wow. If he has them. Only because you were like, it was surgery, right? You were helping him with something. No, no, no, no, no. I was just like, what's going on? Jesus. Yeah, yeah. I do this to all my friends.

I just wanna see your ass. He's my best friend! Love it, you're best friend. Yeah, yeah. And it's okay. In 30 years, he's seen your girth. Yeah, but backstage, you know, I just walk around naked, because I don't care. Yeah, it's your friend. Yeah, yeah. And it's okay. You have 30 years, you've seen your girth. Yeah, but backstage, you know, I just walk around naked, because I don't care.

Yeah, it's your backstage. People always say, I always say, putting some pants, I'm not fucking not putting on pants. Well, you were blessed with talent and that, that's not fair. Red hair and a big, and blue eyes, very, very special. Oh, you do have blue eye.

Yeah, it's a rarity. Yeah. Very rare. Can we talk about your eyeliner real quick? My island? Eyeliner. Oh, I think it's an island. But I used to do it too, eyeliner.

Is it tattooed on? No, it's just, no. Yeah, because my mom got it tattooed. Yeah. Yeah, on. No, yeah, I just put it on. Yeah, I like it too. That's why I got in show business, I mean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My nephew said the one day at a mall was pretty funny. They're about eight years old, about 10 years old shits, and I took them to get pizza, and his kids were all, his friends were all looking at me, and one of his friends says, "'Why does your uncle wear makeup?' And my nephew says,

"'He's in show business.'" And I just never, I thought it was so fucking genius. I said, yeah. Why does he wear women's panties? I'm in show business, we've talked about it. Jesus. Yeah, what? You're allowed to do anything. Show business, you get what I'm saying. It's all right, he's in show business. He've talked about it. Jesus. What? You're allowed to do anything, show business.

You get away with anything. It's all right, he's in show business. He killed a guy, he killed a, he's in show business. I think you and I are the same type of comic. He said it like. Disturbed, depressed. How do you say it like that? I'm sort of bomb with your like, yeah?

No, I feel like we have a, when you walked up to meet me outside, it was very warm, nice, right away, like we had known each other for years. Yeah, I'm just, yeah, because it's like, I've always wanted to meet you, and it's like, I think that's the proper way to greet somebody like you.

Oh, that's very sweet. Could you go to sent one of these guys out together? No, no, no, no, I don't do that because it's like, it's like, you know, when it's like Rob, like I've done podcasts with Rob Lowe or whatever and he'll greet me, you know what I mean? It's a kind thing. Some people I don't greet.

Because I don't know and I don't care. Like he'll book stuff. Now you gotta roll back and see some old former episodes of who he picked up was. If we met you outside, we'd still like. No, no, no, here's the thing. No, here's the thing. We'll be out in a minute. Sometimes he'll book somebody, I'm like,

I'm not aware of their work. Right, sure. But then once I meet them when we do this podcast, then I go, I feel guilty because I'm like, this guy's great. So every guest we've had is great, and I'm so grateful for it, right? But it's like, you know what today's episode is?

I'm digging myself little holes. Yeah, we're all like, why are you doing this to yourself? I'm digging myself little holes. He's had a few, hadn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, these are little holes I'm trying to dig out of. I know that you have a flight to take. You're going back to Vegas.

Florida. To do gigs? No, just to vacation. You live there? Yeah. In Florida. To do gigs? No, just to vacate. You live there? Yeah. In Florida. Well, I thought you lived in Vegas. I live in both.

Oh yeah. I go back from Florida to Vegas every like a week, a week, a month. So you have a, what do you have in Vegas, a condo or a house? I have a house. Okay. Excuse me, sorry.

I have a house. And in Florida, where do you live? I mean, in general. Way bigger house, way bigger house. Way bigger house, way bigger house. On the water, sorry. And in Florida, where do you live? I mean, in general. Way bigger house, way bigger house. Way bigger house, way bigger house. On the water, baby. On the water. So, and then you live in either south or north Florida?

I live in central, Orlando. Orlando, oh yeah. Winter Park, yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, it's really nice. All lakes, the water just covers the whole. It's just beautiful, a lot of trees. Absolutely gorgeous, yeah. So you live there, so you spend half your time there

and half your time. No, most of the time Vegas. I only get 10, 12 weeks off a year. Wow. So I do 240 shows a year in Vegas and then the other time. How do you stop? I'm doing drugs at home in Florida. No, but you've never thought about stopping?

I don't know how to do anything else. What am I gonna do? I love doing this. I had a show last night, it was the most fun. It was after a three week run. It was like that was the most energy of the whole week. Wow, yeah it's so much fun. I always tell people the only job I could probably do

is guess people's weight at the fair, you know? You can't really fuck that up, right? You just sit there and sit in a lawn chair and they bring people in. Just kind of look them over and they're like, what the fuck? You just sit there and it's so funny. You sit in a lawn chair and they bring people in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just kind of look them over and they're like, 290. And they're like, nope. I'm like, fuck.

All right, bring the next one. Yeah. 172, fuck, how was work? Not good, not good. Can you walk into a mall? They're talking about canceling me. Walk into a mall? Yeah, I mean, you get recognized as a lot.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. What? Yeah, you just? Yeah, I mean you get recognized a lot. Oh yeah. What? Yeah, you just open the door. I'm fucked in a lineup. He just opened the door. He says, can you walk in a mall? Yeah, he just opened the door. Damn.

Literals, he's a literal. You're so funny. He's a literalist. He's an odd one today. He's like. Elevator, school level where I don't even get it. I like it. Wow.

So can you still get on elevators? Well yeah, you just hold the button and then. Yeah, your material is so devolved. But no, going back to quitting and retiring and all that, it's like I honestly love what I do. And I'm at the stage of it where it's more fun. Because I think I've not figured it out, but figured me out.

Like I know how to write and I know how to put the show together more and more of a rhythm than I was when I was younger where I was more just bouncing around trying to figure out how to do it. So I think now I feel like I kinda have a sense of, your table has a glory hole in it, by the way. I know. We have a friend named Carlos and he likes to use it.

Have you ever used a glory hole? Have I used one? Yeah. That's where we met, I thought we met. Yeah, yeah. That's why I say you look familiar. No, let me get it out just so you know. If I was in, if I was in,

if I stuck my penis in a glory hole and you were the one blowing me and then we went to the hallway and we figured that out. a glory hole and you were the one blowing me. And then we went to the hallway and we figured that out. How would you feel? How would you feel? How would you feel? If it was good head, I'd be all right. Yeah, yeah.

All right. No, if I did it to you, yeah, and we walked. I'll see you tomorrow at work. Yeah, yeah, would we laugh? Like we locked eyes, like, ah! Or would you be like. You blew'll see you tomorrow at work. Yeah, yeah, would we laugh? Like we locked eyes like, ah! Yeah, you blew me. You fucking. Okay.

I thought like, wait, I blew you. Yeah. I've never used a Glow or Hell. And I don't even know where they are. But, Carrot. He has them on his phone. He has a lexical one. Scott?

Scott? West Hollywood. Thank you so much. Did you have fun here? No. Yeah, I did you have fun here? No Yeah, I did why why no I did have fun no I nothing Yeah, you know your your whole your whole cruise there. Yeah, they love so much fun. It makes it so much fun Appreciate you having you want to plug anything Yeah, that put the picture that girl back up there

Yeah, put that picture of that girl back up there. Yeah. Yeah. You're quick, dude. Yeah. So your show's in Vegas. Yeah, Vegas every night. Where's your residency at? At the Luxor Casino.

At the Luxor. And yeah, every night, except Sundays. And then, of course, when we take our breaks, we go, yeah, Luxor. So the next time in Vegas, could I get backstage or go get to buy a ticket? No, you absolutely can. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I So the next time in Vegas could I get backstage or go get the buy a ticket? No, you absolutely can. I can contact you and then you know. And you can say no, are we at a level

where I can have your phone number? Absolutely. Be real. Absolutely. I don't. I already have it, it's on the glory hole wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote it down. So I've learned so much about you today. The main thing is the girth,

which is I'm gonna have to rattle. It's gonna fuck up my mind for a couple days, but I think I'll get over it. And then what a nice guy you are. Thank you, likewise. All you guys are, appreciate you having me. And so talented. I want you to have a safe flight.

I want you to have a blessed life. And I want everyone in the room to clap for Scott, AKA Karakot. Thank you, everybody. Woo! Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. I mean, you gotta take care of your autism you have medication or see a psychotherapy I don't know what it is but your brain is really interesting I

saw Mission Impossible last night why did you say why did you do that? What do you mean? You liked it? I loved it. It was a masterpiece. Masterpiece? Yeah. You don't like it? No, I did. You watched it and did not like it? I did not like it. Oh my God, it was a masterpiece.

The stunt work, the first part was so long. The first part was so great. Bro, I feel like the last good one was the one with Henry Cavill. This is the best one they've done. Oh, wow. Me and my group were like, that was insane. It was so good from beginning to end.

I loved every minute of it. When Ving Rhames dies, that's the slow part. Dude, no one cared. I did, I cried. Oh, Mike, not cry. I literally cried. I was like, when they were at the fence or at the gate, it was flawless.

The entity. Yeah. The entity's been around since the whole thing, the last couple. I want to watch Karate Kid, Legends. Okay, we're not doing this. And? I don't know. I'm still processing. Is it that deep? Is it that deep?

Jackie Chan? It doesn't feel like a Karate Kid movie. Okay, we're gonna get your review in a second when we start the thing. It's like. No, no, no, we'll get it. Okay. Cisco, we'll get it. Okay.

We'll get it. Okay. We'll get it. Okay. We'll get it. Okay. We'll get it. Okay.

We'll get it. Okay. We'll get it. Okay. We'll get it. Okay. We'll get it.