TigerBelly - Chelcie Lynn, Paige and the Camel's Toe

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Chelcie Lynn who is an American YouTuber, actress, and stand-up comedian returns to the show with her best friend Paige, a comedic internet personality known for fart art.We talk camel milk, high school mascots, farting technique, and branches through arms.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at http://betterhelp.com/belly and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Okay, well, we're trying to help dude. What the fuck is they've been Is that the puff one Mufflepuff, what is it? This no, what are those ones that look like a pill almost the oh this one right here Yeah, it's what's called um days But yeah, there's some of them called puffs. I don't know man. There's different brands, you know They compete against each other, you know, because the fucking crazy market. Do you like the bubblegum? I bet you like that

Candy cotton cotton candy candy cotton Let me say something We're not taping are we we can be just tape because we're probably not gonna start this way We'll just get some get some juices. Yeah, yeah, I saw the some of the movie. You're great in that Thank you, I'm really really great. Thank you. I'm excited. Good job, dude I think I have to go and film like voiceover stuff. You do Thursday. You'll see then you'll see okay. You look great Oh, thank you. When's it coming out? It's never gonna come out. This is Paige Why do you guys love her so much like look at they love you more than they love me

Is it good the face? No, because she came in all sweet want to hug us and you came in like I'm karate I Love them more than I love you though Listen what I want to say is I just don't like it Because it was like a long-lost family or we've read you in the folklore's And then we finally get to meet you. You know, I mean the prophecy has come true. I don't like any of it Let's start it over. Okay. Okay. I'm coming back in come come back in. Yeah Okay, okay come back in

ready All right, here we go. What's happening? There he is Bobby Cool, thanks for having us Thank you for having us. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah when I was in there doing it again, I didn't feel right about it either You know because it made me mad. I got you a movie and that's how you did it. You did make sure That's how you do it. Chelsea. That's how you do it. Anyway, okay guys so good to have you two though. Oh, man

Oh my god. What a glorious night. I love it here. Yeah, you do it. Yeah, it's so chill in here You're right in this area. No, just right where I'm at right now. Oh, really? You feel chill. Oh, yeah I'll get a camel toe. Yeah. Whoa. I'm a big fan of your camel toe page. Thank you and everything you do That's not hard art all of it. I've never seen your camel. That was sweet Right here Just look I know I know I love you good good good camel good camel toe. Shout out. Yeah. Yeah Everyone has a camel toe though. It's not like you know something like yeah, but some pussy slits are much longer and they run

Oh, right. Yeah, do tell I just start a little bit lower Yeah, they're not built the same and some are fattier and they are those ones are the juicy ones Can I ask you something then? Mine's very average. Yeah, if I chopped off a camel's paw I jammed it down and my shit. Would I have a good camel toe? Probably the best one because it's authentic You would that's true. Yeah, it would be the only one that's authentic It's probably you probably have the first authentic one. Yeah, and let me say something Is it bestiality is if I see a camel toe on a camel and I make love to it If I stuck my penis between the toes and I you know me ejaculated. Is that bestiality? I you're just confused. I beg to differ

You're confused. I'm confused. Thank you so much. I think I think technically that would be Maybe just lay by the camel and maybe would step on your dick Oh, you think so rather than you making the don't initiate. Oh, I see. Yeah, that's true So you'd have to wait there. How do you bait a camel? I'm about to come pick that up. I'm about to come. I didn't know it actually had a hole You could actually fuck that camel toe. What do you think? Of course there's a hole I didn't know that we mean of course there's a hole. What do you mean? Wow? Why do you think they call it camel toe because of this part?

No, the hole is why I call it that on this part because of that. Yeah. Oh, I see I see this right right All right. Yeah, that's so page. You're saying he would have to bait the camel to step on his dick. Oh, yeah Well, let me ask you something Let me to practice. Okay. What do camel sound like? They spit. Yeah, but I know they spit but can you find it because I want to burn I'm good at animal noises, but I've never heard of animal a camel the camel noise I haven't never heard of a camel. Well, let's try to figure out what it might be right now No, fuck no

I got right ready. Oh, it sounds like your farts. So, uh, let me try. Let me try. I'm laying there, right? Mm-hmm, I Sounds like you're choking on a cock Why your legs tighten All right, that's true I because it's method voices I'm doing method voices and I become the camel. Tom. Oh, you're creating one with your legs one more time one more time. Yep I can't tell what you think you can't write I couldn't what about you babe I Didn't have my headphones in

All because if you heard the headphones yeah, yeah, yeah, you would have get it. I sounded pretty legit. Oh, thanks Yeah, so do you think but how do I get them to see my dick would have to make the precision would have to be really like it Would have to land right. If not, it would just squish your dick. No, check it out. You guys don't even get it I have eyes well, so depending on how Another Yes, yes, there was another small-eye asians show right there and I love the subtlety of it And I love you know you guys from the south your racism should become subtle and very Yeah, well, I'll tell you what I was talking about. Okay is depending on how hard he stamps on my body, right?

I can readjust my shit Right, so if he's if he I mean if he stomps like, you know, like, you know a running buffalo, I'm fucked Hmm, right. I gotta catch him when he's walking so that part hits, you know Angles angles anyway, I don't know why we're talking about camel. Anyway, nice camel town. Thank you We just came from Irwan and they had camel milk 25 bucks really a thing of camel milk really. I know you can milk a camel wait Really camel camel milk. It was in the freezer section in a bottle. Talk about the driest-looking animal having milk Right. Well, they're the most hydrated really because they drink a lot and they they store it in their home. Yeah, that's what it was

How much it cost? 120 dollars for how many ounces is that 16? That's a Gatorade bottle. Oh Wow, oh, you know what you know what Bobby Lee milk would cost what's up, how much $3,000 because it's so hard to get There's one. There's one Bobby Lee There's one Bobby Lee and also I don't have milk in my body. You got to really milk it. There's one Bobby Lee Yeah, so I'm telling you right now. I don't think you're right. I think that the water. I'm not a fucking, you know zoologist Some people think I right

Let me order some from Irwan right now and we'll drink it by the end of the show Oh, that'd be great bringing out order some what I'm saying is is that I feel like a camel, right? Because they can go month without drinking true. So they have they need that for that. Yeah, they don't need that water to make milk Well, maybe the milk's really condensed. I bet that shit's sour I bet that shit sour Order that shit. Yeah, order ordering. Do they have udders? I Don't they have to have udders. They're mammals, right? Yeah Yeah, damn you guys are smart. Yeah, I don't know what that how much would camel come cost you think? Oh

We got a look into it. Yeah. Yeah camel milk. I feel like calm would be expensive to camel come Yeah, what about horse come that stuff? Oh shit. They're darker than a cow's teeth. It's more like Asian teeth Yeah, well what the coloration because cows are pink, right camels are just dark brown No, so why would you say that was Asian? You would say that was a black person could be. I mean, I have a brown scrotum Oh, you'd okay. Well, I have a little purpley too. There you go. Look, that's how they get the camel milk direct It's a little secret. We don't want to give away the white people that are Scrums are purple. What about the wiener? My wiener

Okay, like a Neapolitan ice cream. Okay, that's pretty cool. Yeah, it tastes like the flavors. I can't remember What my dad's was like your dad Asian. Yeah, you have Asian. Yeah China No, are you really? Yeah, you're half Asian. I'm Chinese. You're Chinese and your dad's Asian full Asian What would you say? Yeah, how does he talk? He talks very American but if he had an accent, what would it sound like? Just how you could pretty much imagine. Yeah, but I would like to hear it He sounds I don't know that you think hey, I don't think he has an Asian accent. Oh, I see. Yeah, I don't think he does

But he's full Asian. He's he looks real. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah, my mommy's white. Yeah, my middle name is Yee Wow, I never knew that about you you have a Chinese name Oh, no a page. I think that's That's not Chinese So just a yee and the G-I-N-N. Yeah, it was gong and then they changed it to Jin Yeah gongs better or no Who changed it? Yeah, who's my grand my dad's past? Oh, cuz my yeah, cuz it was Jin Yee gong And then they changed like the first name to the last name. Oh

Oh be more American got where the last part. Hmm. Oh, what if it'd be racist if America changed it Oh, you get to like wherever the you know, I mean the DMV the DMV of America and they're like The DMV of America we're cutting the last part off or or Navy would they probably went last name and you went gong And they probably laughed For like 45 minutes and they came back. Oh, we're just gonna do chin man. Yeah, sounds better It sounds better. You know, I saw this thing that there's like a town outside of like Peoria in Illinois that's called peaking without the ng like peaking but then not with without the g at the end and apparently they named that town because they thought

They were in the same like latitudinal line as like what was once peaking China and They had a high school and their mascots were called You ready? What is it racial because if it is I need to get prepared I feel like you're the you guys are the only ones who are maybe allowed to say this You're Asian too. Yes, I am but I'm not this type of a oh my god. I just looked it up Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Tell me we'll pull it up Gilbert It's maybe I guess it okay. I'll just lift it up and I'll let you see scroll. It's a dragon. That's cool. That's cool The pecking

Chinks is that for real? That's what yeah, the peaking and there's even like a an article about their basketball team It was like that to the dragons because it was problematic. I think To me it's weird There was a headline for like their basketball team or something like that or they were like very positive thing I would have kept that honestly. Yeah, but you have to stay number one. You have to stay number one Another girl in my class was voted Well, let me read it read that's right down one more. Yeah, another girl in my class was voted We just pointed to me

Last put the arrow down up Right there It was a great oh that yes, I graduated from pecking community high school in 1960 I was also voted by the student body to be the mascot chink. Oh my god. Oh my god It was a great honor and still is to me today Another girl in my class was voted chinklet chinklet oh

My god, I'm what I call you know what I want to call a little Chinese kid at chinklet Yeah, one time in my life. Look at that little chinklet. That's cute It's so here's the deal if you don't even know what that what that is as a kid and you just are saying it Yeah, I'm thinking yeah, I mean Stop Asian he started there Yeah in 1981 Wow, I'm not even gonna lie. Yeah times have changed because In high school. Yeah, my nickname was what was that chink You're in high school your nickname was chink. Yeah, like everyone at the school called me chink and it was just like a normal

You look like Asian in high school. You don't look Asian all the way my sister Like on Jasmine Asian all my siblings look more Chinese and then my dad Obviously his sisters and brothers look Chinese, but yeah, I just I don't know I got my mom's Look, yeah, you look like your mom. Well, you do. Yeah. Well, are you happy about that? This who knows I mean who knows you could have been worse than chink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's you know Did you date white boys in high school? Do they like you white boys for sure didn't really have a choice Because the town I grew up in only had like Mmm, probably 1400 people total and so my graduating class was like 30 people there

Everyone was white. How was it do Shane, Utah? Oh my god. This is really in the sticks What's your face about there? I'm just listening. There was more What's your face about I'm just hanging Your This show is sponsored by better health. Hello everybody My name is Bobby and this is Kalilah getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process Especially because we're always growing and changing Therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and understanding because sometimes we don't know what we want or why we react

The way we do until we walk talk through things and we love better help so much because it's best the best online therapy in the in the market and Better help connects you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are And if you really are thinking of starting therapy, I really do think better help is a great start. It is man If it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge Discover your potential with better help visit better help dot com slash belly today to get 10% off your first month That's better Hlp dot com slash belly one more time. That's better help Hlp dot com slash belly

I'm just trying not to get camped. Yeah No, we're not gonna get camped. We're not two Asians talking about it. Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. You know, man Yeah, you know, but did you guys know the comedian Chinaman? No, so we've talked about him before but there's this guy named Mark Britain He's half white like you and he's a stand-up very good stand-up and he also taught Pablo Francisco How to do impressions? He's like a really skilled guy, but he because he was half Asian he decided I think I'm gonna change my name to Chinaman So he went for decades all around the country as Chinaman selling out places Does he look Chinese? Well, he puts he does the whole he does the look

No, I've never That's Chinaman That's China. That's intense. Yeah. Yeah, but you could tell he's half white, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, his name is Mark Britain Yeah, I know it's Mark. Yeah, should have changed his last name when it was Britain. Yeah, you know a little more Chinese You're gonna do this. Yeah, you got to change your name a little Yeah, he did it. The first one is that really him on the top left? Yeah, okay Yeah, he does all these things to Manipulate his look to look more you would think that you would want to look more white, but not this guy

Okay. Yeah, is he funny? I said he leaned into it. He leaned into it. Oh, yeah He's hysterical. Really? He's hysterical, but I think one time he came up to me. He goes. I don't know why man, but Yeah, man, I just can't I can't seem to you know me. That's how he has a southern. Yeah. Yeah, you're from Texas Oh, I can't seem to like get anything going man. And I'm like, you know like you man You're soaring and I go maybe cuz your name is Chinaman Maybe you have three braids on your chin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do you think the Chinaman would be a tune off to Hollywood Maybe maybe right and so you know what he changed it to the Pecan Chinks. No No, no, no, he his new name now is kid walk. Oh, that's right. He has a kid. Yeah. Yeah, dog

Damn on his um, what elbow on his arm. He has it Yeah, he can pretty much be whatever he wants to be right, but now I'm that's a play on kid rock I don't know, but I don't think it's better Chant just That's bad when we're saying yeah Chinaman, but I mark if you're listening though, I want to say I honestly do bro I think you're so talented every time I see him perform throughout my life. I Just was like this guy's so talented. I want to go see him now. Yeah, he's so great. Okay. Yeah, I mean, but um You know, he he never came to LA really, you know, you know people didn't you know people are afraid

But like he still does stand up kills it all over the set, you know, you know There's a lot of acts out there in the Midwest as you know Probably that you know are that never come to New York or LA that have a following and they resonate You know me in those regions of the world, you know, and um, I don't know if I grew up in, you know I mean, Peoria, Illinois or Lubbock, Texas. Who who knows? Yeah, I might be just your four capital letters G-o-o-k And with an exclamation point, right? Don't mouth it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just gook You know me like that's they have to yell it, right?

So every you know before they go they chant Gook gook the audience gook. I come you know, maybe I fucking make my face I'm uncomfortable I don't even know what's going on And I go You know and just really lean into it Wow, I just saw the multi I saw the multiverse of your other career And it was there was no podcast tiger belly. There was no koala

I'm sorry, but maybe I would do that. There is no matini You still can Yeah, you'll catch on. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. You looked super elder when you did that You looked like 20 years older when you did that for me when I did this. Yeah Why can't I do that? Let me see. It looks like an elder man. Oh, yeah. I don't know why Yeah But but do it without the accent just talk normal. Hello That's even crazier. It's good. That's even crazy. Give us a southern accent. Hello

Hello. That's good. Hello Where's where's the where's the rice cakes at? Yeah, pretty good. That's pretty good. Thank you. Rice cakes are good. Are they great? Yeah. Yeah, how did you guys meet? Yeah We technically met At a meeting at a meeting What kind of meeting we well we filmed a tv show that never came out and It was a call. Oh, okay. I don't anything we can say. Yeah, we still they're really on our ass about that Because it was for that one network that starts with an n. Yeah nbc, right? Yeah

Or nfl network and the nfl network and anyway, um, basically she reached out to me I didn't know who she was and she's like, hey, do you want to be on this tv show? And I was like, okay So we literally met at a meeting and then we've been best friends ever since wow and that was what three three years ago But yeah, yeah three or four. Yeah, and you lived in LA at the time Um, yeah, pretty much. I lived in san diego and then I was actually back in utah for like a year and then Came back. Do you know bobby's from san diego? Oh for real? Yeah, pow way Have you heard of it? Yeah. Yeah, I'm from there. Yeah. Nice. Pow is nice. You think so. Yeah, I love Barbie What you like suburbs? Love suburbs

You're a suburb prison love rural areas. Yeah. Yeah suburbs for sure. No all of san diego is just so pretty I guess you can say that yeah prettier than la damn dude. It smells like piss here. Yeah, exactly I know it does. It's terrible part of the charm. Oh, yeah, it's not even charming. It's scary. Okay, such a strong Now it makes sense while my movies just never show the ground It like starts from the knees up They just show the palm tree. Yeah, it's so funny how they show like in 99.9 percent of all movies depicting la Is usually the west side west hollywood. It's usually Beverly Hills You know, I mean this and that but they don't show the 99 point

And I wish they would because it would be like I drove past hollywood boulevard today And I don't know why people even walk there like, you know where the hollywood walk of fame is Oh, that's the fish now. Yes. Cry me there. Oh, there's human shit. I know everywhere There's humans Yeah, shitting as well. Oh shitting shitting. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Literally, but they're just laying on the ground Half naked shaking hanging out these like tourists that have just been bamboozled into believing that they had to see hollywood boulevard Or like sunset, you know, yeah, yeah, and they're just like there's it's it's it's disgusting. Yeah Yeah, I like when they do the fentanyl dance though. Oh my oh, yeah, or they freeze. I love it. You know what I mean?

I was thinking about this Wait, well, am I being mean right now? No, I feel like since the beginning I've been in here. I've been so mean What do you think it is and loud? Well, you just woke up. I woke up from a nap. So I started for interrupting Did you say you were doing laundry? Yeah, because I woke up from a nap and I go the girls are here. I gotta fucking do laundry because I have to leave tonight Oh, how's that? What's that like having to do your own laundry these days? I've figured it out

Walk us through the steps. Were you doing it? Are you a tied pod guy? I know he's a liquid detergent guy. Okay. Well, I don't know tides I do liquids. Okay. All right. All right. What were you saying though about hollywood? Um, what was I saying? I I forgot where where I was going with that. I'll get back to you. Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry for interrupting you Thanks page. Thanks for Whoa, sorry. No, I love what you just did Just cut you off on your old old your own podcast and say what were you saying?

No, I know you're right. I should have never caught her off in the first place and I let her talk your right page I mean, you know, if you weren't Asian, I'd be mad. I know it's nice to be same. Yeah. Yeah. Are you mad at me? Little I love you man Because when we shot that movie we shoot so I get her you know, not get her but um, they so this movie I did with johnny Knoxville Somebody fell out and they're like panicking They're like we need somebody and they gave me a list of people and I was like and me and theo and a bunch of us were frantically just looking through this list going Ah, they're not quite right. You know what I mean for this part and I just basically said

Chelsea Lynn And then he the director called his wife and his wife is a fan of yours. Oh Yeah, that's her. You know what I mean? And then we got you on And as soon as you opened your mouth, it was one of those things where I was just like God, I love it when I'm right You know what I mean? I love like you're beyond right because she played softball too. Yeah Really? Yeah in college in call really. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not even the acting though. She's she's not playing softball She's no, but you're yeah rough. Yeah. Anyway, still you have to know. Yeah, exactly

Right and as soon as you did and I remember just walking away She's feeling so relaxed, but then during the movie you talked a lot of shit toward me. Yeah, I did why? It just felt good What do you mean? It felt right. Yeah, you know, you know when you meet someone you can fuck with and that doesn't get all Butt hurt. That's you. Wow. Yeah, was I saying sing this back? Oh god. You were so fucking mean I Oh god, I don't even know She came back and was telling me. Yeah, dude. You're gonna fucking love bobby. He like

Yeah, just calling me all these things and yeah Yeah, it was because there's nothing, you know, when you're shooting there's nothing else to do nothing We just stood there. You stood there and we just started making fun of each other literally I'd be like you look like the top of guy I can't remember what I said, but like you look like the top of guy That like won't tip a waitress if she's not pretty. All right. All right. Yeah, and you do you look like that type of guy That's so I remember you did ask me that and I'm angry now about it. Right. I'm not that okay Hey, what what?

What? It's actually quite the opposite the more horrible the server is to hire the tip He does this weird psychological thing where he wants to assert power after someone's treated him so bad So he lives like a hundred dollar tip if someone like basically pours boiling water on his face. No, that's not that everyone That's not the reason no you're gonna get bad service At tofu house. Yeah, he threw off like a frisbee the plate at me and it was a boiling thing and he yeah Yeah, but that's not why I do it. I do it because For some reason in my mind, I feel like they're doing that because they don't think I'm gonna I'm gonna tip

Yeah, right So I want to let them know because I might come back here Mm-hmm next time don't throw that plate at me You know what I mean? It makes sense right if for some reason in my mind, I do that. Yeah, but I tip everyone Equally, I'm a good tipper. Yeah. Yeah. Well, whether you are or not you still Does look like that you look like that type. Yeah, you know, yeah, thank you Did I get do any fucking things towards you those kind of questions? I don't remember doing it

Oh god, we said they're for an hour. I know I don't remember. I don't remember either. You definitely were doing it though Oh, yeah. Oh 100% doing it. You know, let me I remember texting you about her. Uh-huh And I really didn't like the response Really? Yeah, I said I I need somebody to Teach me how to fart professionally. What did I say and she goes? Ah, she doesn't know really really do classes and stuff or something That's not true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like I would have paid good money to have her teach me how to fart Uh-uh. She's a master. No, she said Hey, uh, Bobby Lee wants you to fart for him or something. I said, okay

I said next time you get a fart. Let me know. I'm gonna video it for Bobby Lee. Oh, okay. No, I was asking for classes You were not I was I'll pull the text messages out. Be careful, Bobby What do you mean? This is always where you get caught. This is where you get caught Oh, I love these. The receipts catch up. You want the receipts? Their seats never line up in your favor I don't remember classes. What if what if it happened this time? Let's take the risk. I'm gonna take the risk We can do a fart class though. No, no, forget. Okay. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna double down on I'm not gonna double down on right. I don't want receipts today

Matter of fact, I think I think like a month later. I was like, hey still if you need to fart I reminded you I was like if you need to fart I need to video it. I think about it like every day since you said that The video my favorite video of all time Same is the purple fart video. Yeah, it's purple. They just deleted it. So that's cool They did. Yeah. Oh, yeah Notity That's barely only like some of your cheeks. I know it's still up on my instagram, but yeah, they took it down on her

It's the funniest Thing I've ever seen on the internet every time if I'm in a bad mood I watch that and it makes me smile. Have you seen it Gilbert? That makes me happy. Yeah, it's so good Have you seen that one? Oh, but this one's also just so yeah. Yeah, that's a very good one. Yeah. Oh the Yeah, okay, what is that powder baby powder or yeah, it's called pure color from party city. It's the best one You know pure color from party season. Yeah, if anybody needs to blow some powder out of your ass That's the one why it doesn't cake. Yeah, it doesn't clump up They tried to put ranch packet in my ass the hidden valley ranch

Moisture It's meant to be yeah in liquid form. So that makes sense Yeah, I latched onto that butthole moisture and started making ranch And burned don't recommend it. Yeah, but when you are you Just farting I understand I understand how it works You're just farting

But what I'm saying is asking is do you fart more frequently than a normal human being probably not? No, probably. Oh gosh, once I stopped kind of drinking so much IPA and shit You know the farts weakened because I wasn't so bloated all the time Yeah, but alcohol gets me so sick. So rarely do it, but cauliflower will help tomatoes. Yeah Night shades, right like eggplant. Yeah. Yeah, that wrecks me too. What's a night shade? Yeah, what's a night? Eggplant tomato. That's in the night shade family. Yeah, I've never learned me either. It sounds mystical, huh? It's like fucks my stomach up. I think it fucks your stomach But you're in denial about it because you love pizza and spaghetti. Yeah, I love it. I'll never quit. I know but you shit blood

I'd rather shit blood than not stop eating that stuff Actual blood. Oh man. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, me too. Honestly, you have blood come out a couple days ago Oh, I wiped and I was like, that's a little more blood than that should be coming out Is it bright or like dark bright? Oh, you're good. It's probably just an internal hemorrhoid Which sounds also worse. Yeah, we want an external one. Those are really annoying to have because you have to push them back in a lot Oh, that's right. Oh dang. They don't pop out They pop out and they get real dry and itchy. You have them. I've never had them but I've had friends who like Jim Jeffries Oh, yeah, Jim Jeffries, which is on. Jim Jeffries has them. Yeah, but he got but he said he had a

He had the kind of he had to poke poke back ends. Yeah, a little cherry. Yeah How big are they? They're gonna be big Stop You have to like form it to shove it back in your ass. Oh my god No, it's like um a little like a pomegranate pod Well, they can vary depending. You can't just cut it off. It's really painful to get them removed So like people imagine cutting that off. Yeah. Oh my god. It's a nerve, right? No, it's a blood vessel. That's even worse Yeah, right. Is there a lot of feelings there or no? It's like a varicose vein. Okay

It's like do you want to put up with shoving it up your ass every time? That's an internal and then that's Whoa Hello Yeah, I've never had one but knock on wood. Are you sure? I'm almost positive Okay, I've never had a yeast infection either and I was talking about it on our podcast It wouldn't you know you've never had a beasty-easty Right after I said I'd never had a yeast infection got one for my first time Wow

So I'll probably get one of those things Hey, what is a yeast infection if you feel like oh, what? That came out. I came out weird Okay, what are you? Let me say it again. What is the I say action action What does a yeast infection even feel like? Oh, I was screaming I was screaming. Whoa, and I wish I would have known days before that what it was I would have taken something would have been fine, but I I didn't take anything

I waited till it was deep and I was just burning Itching internal itch. Oh And like during intercourse. Oh Oh my god. It's so painful. Do I itch if I stuck my dick in a in a yeast. Oh Um, you know what? Okay. This is gonna be this is a little controversial But it kind of feels nice when the dick goes in there and itches it from the inside And afterwards it hurts and it burns, but there's almost something we're like because I can't like, you know Do it myself. So it's like when there's penetration. It hurts. It's like plucking my shin hairs. Is that same kind of way?

But I my last one was because I had a reaction to my lube I like dusted off some old lube from like years ago And I I used it and it threw me. Why did you use it? Because I was masturbating And I usually just use spit, but then I was like, I don't really want to spit today So I use like old lube and it just threw me into the Gnarliest used infection any scent like even taking a bath that will get me like itching or not cotton panties Yeah, just anything was sent on my crotch is not good. Really? Yeah, not a good. I'm real sensitive Like that too. I don't put soap down there. I don't know how it doesn't smell

You can't put soap in there. Oh, why and how do you clean? How do you clean it? It's self it does it? It does it. It's yeah, it cleans itself like cats. Yeah. Yeah Kind of in fact if you start putting stuff in there, it'll make it smell more. Mm-hmm. Really? Yeah Oh, I'm a big dial soap guy. What a dial is an antibacterial dial. I don't put it in the hole But that if I don't fucking take a bar of soap to that motherfucker You'd be gagging right now Yeah, so you clean the doorway. Yes, exactly. All right, clean the door not inside the house. No, no, no inside the house It'll take care of itself. All right. How do you clean my dick? Yeah, water soap. What do you think lady?

Do you get good suds and then put it down there? Do you set it up on your dick? No, you know We want to know I'll tell you what I do. Okay. I've been doing something different And it's been seeming new to work for me. Okay. I don't even know why I'm saying it out loud. Say it I'm using acne medication on it Benzoil peroxide, not benzoil peroxide Salicylic acid. No, you know the face wash with the little balls in it. Oh, yeah I've been on the head. I've been taking the beads What's the funny? It's just funny. You're exfoliating. Yeah, exfoliating the tip of my penis

Oh, ooh la la. What if the beads go inside? Oh, yeah, what do you mean inside the hole? Don't put a bead in there. Oh, shit. I never thought about that. My holes are so small though, dude Smaller the beads. No, I mean the my it's barely even an entrance to the hole Really? I don't remember it being that small. I think it was like average Well, all right You know, I feel like the way you're saying that your hole was average Like let me claim what I claim You have to argue against it. You know what I mean? We gotta just let that go dog. What's up?

Let that go. I mean, you have a whole smaller hole. I think but you're right I should be more mindful about doing the better. That's what I've been doing to clean the dick Exfoliate in the head. Yeah, and then I've been doing other things like, um Oh god, I've been spreading my cheeks open in the Um, yeah beday. Oh nice. So no, I let the water go halfway into my butthole Yeah, he likes that. I like it. And then what I do is I take tissue paper. I wet it. I dunk it in, um Body wash and I jam that thing in there in your ass in the in the hole Yeah, and suds have to come out. Why what I just feel like it's a new cleaning method that I think it's working

So what happens to the tissue paper gets swallowed? or No, because I after I'm done with that whole process Is I spread my cheeks again and I let the water, you know, me and just Wash away everything. The reason why I'm doing this is because one time About a month that I never told you You don't have to tell me this A month and a half ago, I had a girl in my house

And I was having sex with her and my butthole was cakey with shit Oh my god And I was and I was doing you know, I was doing this style where I was, you know, you know, because agents No, yeah, I experiment They had to meditate. You didn't shower before she got here. No, I did. I think I did. I don't know, but I could smell That was me for sure I'm so angry at you and I was doing cakey cakey. What is your problem? What are you doing? You're so rude

It was in purpose on purpose cakey. That's bad. When you say cake. What are we talking? Yeah, you're asking for the position. Give me some visual Yeah, the position seems the position seems cakey, right? The cakey position. Yeah, really? Yeah, um, did she say anything? No Oh, I think she blushed though Or was she suffocating? Oh She could have been like holding her breath. Yeah Oh, fuck turning blue. She could have died his apnea. Holy shit. Anyway, I noticed it It wasn't like a huge like oh my one of my and I was gonna name a city. I'm gonna get in trouble

So I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, you know what I mean? What am I in? Detroit, but that doesn't make any sense But um, I was in a bangled up. Let's cut all that out But my point is is that if you notice it and you're not even close to your bunghole. Yeah, that's bad You should have closed your legs immediately. No, but can I say this? I thought that too, but I'm thinking maybe she thinks it's from her No girls, we we know what's coming from her. She showered three times before she came over here She put on perfume. She to the nine. I haven't seen her since I bet We probably gave her a UTI

Well, no, I have my phone way up cleaning my butthole. No, okay I should have even said this out loud because no one's gonna ever want to cut that whole thing out No one's ever gonna want to fuck Take that out because they know you're self-aware. They'll like yeah Now they know that you know to clean yourself. Will you tell people my dick is big? But the hole is no just tell people right now on the internet because Because I feel like girls don't see me because because I had one girl go I don't think your dick's big and I try to go. I think my dick's pretty good. Just say it out loud

his dick is uh a I thought you said big. No, is it average? No, be honest. I I want to honest for me genuinely Yeah, I will say like let's suppose I take the last 10 guys. I've been with yeah And rank you in that 10. Yeah, I would say you're at a number one being the smallest Yeah, and 10 being the biggest dick. You're at a number four. That's great. That's that's not good A little bit like down from the middleman from mid-range. I think that's fine. No, no, no, it's not Because a lot of these guys were much bigger and taller than you. That's terrible. Let's cut that out too. What are you doing?

No, that's terrible. It's not terrible. Tell everyone that I have a huge cock. You're number eight on the No, what's terrible is is having shit all over your asshole when you're trying to fuck. Yeah, that's All right, I get your legs. I get that as well. That's terrible. It's terrible. All right. Yeah Well, don't ask me about how I clean my penis then Did anyone ask? Yeah, you said the penis and then it went to the butthole and then I went on this tangent Well, then you told us about how you didn't clean You asked you how you clean it and you told us about It was weird how you said you had this amazing cleaning technique, but didn't apply it

With the girl. No, I didn't know that after I started this new technique and I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life That ladies. Yeah, this is the new before. Yeah You and improve. Yeah. Yeah. I think you owe her an apology. No. Yeah No, right? She took the gamble. We all take gambles. Thank you Gilbert And that's what I love about you and thank you. He comes up to oki doki. Hey, why were you in that position? Where you amazon style? I do amazon style, but what what what what we're talking about here and get on your belly I mean, but what was she doing? Let's do it. Let's go What was your guys's main no, not your belly that's that's not how we do it get on your back

And this is a sex position. Yeah, what's it called amazon? So you were like that Show us your guys's favorite position when you were fucking to What the fuck? Oh, okay. I've okay. Okay. So you you know, it's my butthole It's exposed I mean, it's out there, man. You fuck like that Dude, I would be far Right, so much air would get sucked in my ass. Well, if I knew I wanted to do that position I'm cleaning my asshole 10 times before she comes over. Yeah, what it's not like it's I don't have like a set list

Like I'm doing a show like I want to open with this scenario amazon. I mean close with amazon style I didn't know I was going to do that position You you improvise in the scenario. Yeah, and in my head. I'm like, I think my butthole's clean enough to do amazon Oh, right and it wasn't if you're not positive and you gotta think about it. It's not I didn't even think about that's the thing. I was almost positive that my hole was clean Okay, it was an accident then It was an accident just say yes I've never done amazon me neither. I kind of want to now

It can get complicated because you see with him. I couldn't cross my legs over but technically you can kind of lock in even better Hmm. Yeah, because I'm compensating because there's some traditional moves I can't even do like he could not do doggie. I can't do doggie because watch watch. Let's see. Yeah, let's see Please bobby. Let me check this out propped up because there's a height discrepancy Okay, and do you like doggie bobby? I have to do Okay Yeah Yeah, my knees are cracking right now. Yeah, and the front is right here. His knees are cracking. Six pumps. Yeah, and that's it

Now, oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes what I do is I'll go you stand you stand Yeah, and then this is the bed, right? Yeah No, yeah And then there's a there's a time where you have to readjust. Yeah, it becomes a class. Yeah, I don't like it You know what you need. What this is a healthy voucher. You just need some platform shoes And You would say that but on the bed you can't do that But if you're standing you're standing just the whole point is that then you know, imagine going like this

You're on a bed with a woman. I'm for the first time. I'm doing missionary. I'm doing the side position I'm doing amazon all this stuff, right? Yeah, and then all of a sudden I go stand up and then bobby's wearing these I'm wearing no bobby's wearing these naked naked wearing no herman monster shoes That'd be awesome Stand up and then he's putting on She's like, where are you going? Behind you. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, so I can't do it You know, I think that but girls are also super aware if there is a height discrepancy

So I'm also adjusting my body to make sure that you know what I mean Like you you get to where you need to be But I've never made love to anyone shorter or my height. You've no yeah, you're you're always super tall So it's like, you know, I can't I ask You know, it's one of the things that you you know, you give up You know, I mean if I went out with a four foot five girl, I'd be doing doggie all day every day Yeah, yeah in a regular position, but I can't do that. I'll just on my knees, you know But you know, you give up, you know, I mean

Appreciate the effort though. Yeah, we're thinking about you. Yeah, we're praying We're praying for you. You don't have to pray for me thoughts and prayers. Yeah, you have to pray for me. We're thinking about you Yeah You're thinking about me. Yeah, I also when we did the movie I was thinking I remember I mentioned I said, um If they just gave you a three camera sitcom Yeah, right about your life. Yeah It would be the biggest sitcom

on planet earth I would do anything I I would do anything to even just become like a part of like help you create it or whatever I would do anything for you to help me create it and let's fucking do it. Yeah, I honestly want to start with me No, I can't be oh, yeah, remember. No, I was reoccurring. Yes, and I'm that asian guy that lives next door Right, who's like, you know, I mean really attracted to you, but like you're you know, I mean, yes next pitch You guys live in pecan and that small town outside of Gloria, right? Right. Maybe but I You know, do we have to talk about the chinks and the chinklets? I don't think the network's gonna like that

Yeah, let's stay away from that. Let's stay away from that. Yeah. Yeah, maybe not network then Yeah, no HBO. No, we're trying to go worldwide. Let's go. I'll tell you why with her. All right It's she's the perfect person She's she's like rosanne, but she's relevant I gotta whisper that I was gonna say she's funnier, but I like rosanne a lot. I think you're funny. I whisper it She's a legend. Oh god lover. Um, she she comes we mean to the game with none of the baggage Right. Um, you're a hit You're like a hit ready to happen and it's uh, I'm being real. Oh, I yeah, I appreciate that. I mean you could play

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, sister or whatever. I'll just sit here. Yeah What you're in the show. You're in the show. Oh, I know. Okay. I'll just sit there in the show. Yeah, you're her best friend, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's the one that just sits on a chair and says things Right. Yeah. Yeah. Just just farting always wearing these just farting. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, just farting. Just farting. Yeah That's your only line. That's your only line. What are you doing? What you doing? Just farting Every episode wait, what are you up to? Just farting

Whoa, that would be a good one. They will do a french episode. Oh, yeah. Can you do a french accent? What you doing? I can't what's a french? Oh, it's fine. I don't know. I want to hear it. We'll get your coach. You know the french, uh, the british accents like They all kind of tie into one in my brain. Hmm. Hmm. Well, I mean if you're gonna do a european accent, give me one What are you up to? Yeah, I'm gonna just test whatever comes comes out Just go with your heart. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just farting That's something to a broken job. Yeah, it sounded like, um, the same. Yes, but just more like, you know, I mean autismy

Okay Just for wait. Fuck. You got it. Just forton. Oh Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good. Very very little irish. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That works. Are you good with accent? Can you do asian accent? Think aggressive german Oh, fuck. You guys you guys are trying to get me cancelled All right, let's go Gosh, german. You got one. Chelsea. Chelsea. Can you do a british accent? Oh, I'm a very good at british accent And I speak british all the time and I'm every day. I'm like, hey, good morning, everyone. How's everyone doing?

Very good. Thank you. Hello. All right. All right. Okay. So who who goes? Hello, might Who who goes? Ozzy. No, but Ozzy Osbourne. But what? Is that like? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Just making sure Yeah, I'm not good with that stuff. Either am I? I'm not good at accents or any of that and I was on a sketch show for eight years I I When I was on that show because everyone's like

Growlings master like, you know, I mean I work with Mike McDonald all these fucking guys key and peel and they're just so good and I just felt like I'm the I realized what I was. I'm not just the weird x-factor Well, you probably could learn No, I never learned it. Oh, they sent me tapes. They they did. They got me the best I just couldn't do it You know, they they brought you back season after season, didn't they?

I know because I because the one thing that I do have that they all have is funny Right, and that's the one thing I can always lean on. I don't know how to do that, but it's like, you know, I mean, but I guess that's You know, I think that's a lesson to be learned that you even if you don't have the skills and things If you just go for it and you just give it your all which I've always done I've always just like, I know I'm not good. I'm not the best, you know, trained or whatever But I'm just gonna do it. You know, I mean, I think that's a huge thing. I think if everyone did that in life You know, I mean and just woke up and said I'm just gonna go for it I think we'd live have it. It would live in a different planet. Don't you think or even just pretend

Or even just pretend. Yeah. Yeah, pretend. Yeah, we'll get you there. Yeah. Yeah, fake it till you make it That's what they always say, you know, for real. Look at you. Look at me I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time either and I'm dead serious. Really. Oh, what am I doing? Even right now Really even right now. I just show up and do it if I don't know how to do it. I pretend I do Yeah, that just works somehow. It's amazing. Yeah, how that all works. Do you feel the same way? Yeah, every day What do you mean? Like you don't know what you're doing? Just like

It's a weird one. Just life. She's high a lot. Not right now though. No, you're what you do. You smoke weed? Oh, yeah, a lot big time. Yeah, it's fun But not in Tennessee that much because it's hard to get But just in life and it's just like how am I here or Or just people you have looked up to or have seen and then you meet them or it it's crazy It is so crazy. I was just talking about that with dr. Drew We had him on last week or a couple episodes ago And I had this like weird moment of like looking at bobby and looking at dr. Drew and I'm like, wait, like I

Like I followed these people. I watched them religiously when I was a high schooler And now I'm just here in her room with him. And this is what I do. It's like a really strange like out of body feeling Yeah, but I felt that about you guys coming today Whoa, because I'm I'm a huge fan of you guys I watch your videos to to entertain myself because not a lot of things make me laugh But you guys make me laugh, right? So when you guys were coming into that, I was like, oh my god, they're coming I hope this is good. I hope I'm on point, you know, I mean just but don't be too nice So when somebody came in or I said what I said, I rehearsed a couple sleeping. Don't be too nice

We get here and he's sleeping. Oh, man. He's saying, oh, I was gonna prepare and Yeah, that's what's my point though is the whole that was all yeah. Yeah. Oh, I could tell it was an act Do you mean real? Yeah, I could tell you were fucking with us. I was talking with you I have some really bad news for their room. Oh, they do not deliver camel milk They you can only go in store and purchase it that's fancy Unless Pete you want to check again, but no, that's okay. They don't want to risk spilling it It's a hundred twenty dollars that person would have to Some of me believes that you you don't want to spend the money

I'm totally kidding I know you would spend the money. I was kidding. Yeah, right. Thanks for saying that though. That was real nice Yeah, yeah camel milk though. I don't give a fuck. I don't ever want to drink it. Anyway. Yeah, I wasn't excited about trying it Yeah, well either it's like getting manatee milk or whatever like an animal you that you don't want to There's just certain animals. You don't want to drink their milk. Yeah, like in Star Wars Remember in Star Wars you see the Star Wars with the the new one where Luke was on the island I've never seen any of them I'm not big into like Star Wars marvel

You remember the remember Luke was surviving off of drinking the milk of those fucking creatures that lived on the island There was a funny gag where he was like squirting this milk into a fucking it was so dumb Oh, I mean, yeah, but I'm just saying like I remember watching the movie going. Oh, yeah, I would just would never drink that Let's commit Yeah, that wow That's the that's the bit That looks like a little wiener. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Oh with the little pouch. Yeah Yeah, yeah on a fat guy with a big belly and fupa

It does. Yeah, let me let me go back to what you guys both said about marvel and star wars and stuff What what what what why did you do that with your head? Because people give me shit all the time. No, I do. Okay. Can I say something? Yeah, sorry. I've been dating. All right None of them like it. Yeah, right. None of them know anything about it. I think it's more like For me, it's like a marvel superhero fatigue where it's like there's just in the same way There's like UFC fights every weekend. Yeah, like I just it's too much It's not what that's not the case with them though I I think that's the case with you with them. It's different because you're I've dated you for a decade, right?

So you're very venturous You'll watch it even if you don't want to watch it and you'll try to learn All right, there are some people out there that refuse to learn and that's what these two are judging you hard Wow. Yeah, you refuse to learn you have a wall up because of your southern tendencies. Oh, no, not at all All right, let's argue against that. No, my sister Beth who I live with is It's obsessed with anything marvel anything. So I've given a couple movies to try and I'm just like I just I don't like the action II. I don't like the I don't know man. I'd rather watch a true crime doc and me too Okay, okay. Okay. You're here. Yeah. What's your excuse?

I just like real life Shit like documentaries or I'm not even into movies that much In general like I don't even know like I barely know who fucking Leonardo DiCaprio and what not her Barely knows the name. Well, you barely know him. Well, Leonardo No, if I saw a picture, I mean, you know what it looks like, right? Key name one movie besides Titanic. Yeah. Well, yeah, naturally, but maybe five movies. Maybe five movies Okay, we have pineapple express 21 jump Leonardo DiCaprio movies. Oh Jesus

I'm yelling five movies that she even know That's why I'm like five movies. Yeah, five movies that DiCaprio wasn't oh you can't do it I'm not gonna lie. No, you can give me two Steve Spielberg movies Steven Spielberg, you got this one. No, I I love, you know, it's so interesting. I love you It's so interesting because something that I'm I've always been obsessed with as a kid Some people just don't and people are like that with football yesterday for the Super Bowl. Where are you gonna go? I go, what's going on? Yeah, and they're like, it's a Super Bowl. I go, what sport?

And they go football. I go, I'm gonna be playing Hogwarts legacy. Yeah, I bought it. Yeah. Oh, you know what I mean? It's great. So you love this stuff What you just said Hogwarts legacy Is that a but what's that? What's that from Harry Potter? Very good. Yeah, it's a video game that they've been working out for years and it came out Last week and I was out of town. I just downloaded it and I'm having a blast But a lot of streamers are getting canceled for playing it. Why? Because of JK Rowling Oh, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's like, please relax. It's okay. Relax, please and now we're

By me saying that I'm probably gonna get a I don't even know what the controversy is. I'll be honest with you I think because I love Harry Potter so much. I refuse to read. I give you I'm down of the controversy. I don't want you want to know but because I don't want to I want to keep playing the game All right, I don't want to get all angry. You know, it has to do with trans, right? Yeah, that's all I know I mean transformers, right? The game the game. No, my point is is that yeah, but yeah, I do love sci-fi fantasy. I do love Mythological movies or something like that. I just like fantasy. You know what I mean? But some people people like you guys don't like it and I get it

But I also like what you like. You know what I mean? What's your favorite movie of all time? Oh, shit. I could name you probably my top five right now on my head, right? Okay. I hope I've seen I hope I've Let me see if there's no way you've seen. Okay. Yeah, there's no what you've seen. Okay. Um, Paris, Texas Paris, Texas is probably one of the top five being there being there. It's in the top five never heard Um, uh, to share my phone movies Yeah, probably, um, yo himbo. Yo himbo See we did it. You know what I mean? It's amazing Uh, yeah, so, um, I'll watch Paris, Texas

You're not gonna like it. Actually, you know what you will like it. I think it's a really sweet movie It's sweet. It's weird. It's more like real life. It like touches on like regular human emotions. Like I it's I think you'll love it I like movies. Yeah, I'll watch it. It's boring though. Huh. It's slow. It's super slow. Okay. Um, what do you like about it? I'll tell you what I like about it. Um, number one, it was the first movie that betrayed love the way You know, I I kind of envision what it's it's like being it's a very realistic to me And it's basically it's a love loss Okay, it's two people that it's just not going to work out Because of age and because of other things that go on right because in the movie he was like 60 years old

And she was 17. Oh a little predatory or 18. I don't know how old she was But she was a kid my dad Like 18. Yeah, like your mom. Well, that's why it didn't work out, right? And they had a kid and um She leaves him and he kind of wanders Texas Like a homeless person and just walks to the desert for five years straight And because he doesn't he barely is alive And when they find him in a hospital, he has a wallet

There's nothing in it except a little tiny phone number And it's a phone number of his brother who who owns an ad agency in LA and his brother's like wait, who is this? It's your we found this man. He's like, he's my fucking brother and he drives all the way to Texas to find him Right, that's the premise of the movie and harry dean stanton plays the um, so I love that movie older movie Older it seems like it would be 1981 maybe 82. Um You're not don't do with the crew or cell phone, but I also like um Being there's a good movie, but what's and I like um

Modern stuff. I like I think I think royal tendon bombs is probably could be in the top five maybe um and um what else Probably hereditary You love that. I love that movie. You like horror movies Yeah, I feel like I used to more and now I get you now I get like scared legit scared to worry when I was younger I didn't that weird really so weird. Why I don't know

I used to I could watch anything now. I just literally like it. I will cover my eyes. I will I can't Physically do this while watching the movie Because when you do that, what do I do? He like rips my hand off rip the hands off I pay for this and he'll pause he'll pause until I he sees he only he's not watching the movie anymore He's only looking at my eyes making sure you're watching every movie I watch without I watch her face He always does this when we're watching movies like if he's seen it before he only cares about my reaction to you He'll wait for you. Oh, I couldn't do that. That piss me off. It's not that's that why though Because you fucking fall asleep

Yeah, that's why I'm looking over because once you fall asleep. It's video game time. Oh Okay, okay. Okay. I fall asleep too with two movies. Oh, yeah me too opening credits forget it. Goodbye. Yeah, I'm done It puts you out. Uh-huh. I actually like the Truman show. That was a great Great movie. Great movie Truman show. Yeah, very good. I think I really think that you would like movies. You gave it a shot I know, you know, damn. And what's exciting is there's so many good movies out there that you've never even fucking seen I know I have a whole list of people telling me what to watch Really? Oh big time that's that gets kind of annoying too when people like insist you watch something You know, I was like, I'm never gonna do it just on the basis of you thinking I need to watch it

Yeah, like I'm dating a girl right now and she's never heard of the Beatles Right. So now when we're together, I play her just two or three songs. Yeah, and I can see her mind being blown That's sweet. Wow. It's like, oh, they wrote that Why? Oh, she's heard the song, but she maybe heard it somewhere in a movie or whatever. Oh my god. That's the most beautiful Oh my god, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like I imagine with you with movies It's like everything is going to be like if you saw like the first two godfather movies Your mind is going to be blown Yeah, I need to get it in to uh, what's that one avatar? Everyone's like you have to watch avatars

Why are y'all talking like this? You see avatar? No. Yeah, neither. I didn't like it either And I'm like a biggest water person and the whole movie is like that water And I just I I'm I'm with you girls like I get it. Yeah Yeah, if you two started a movie, would you watch it? Started it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd have. Oh, so the only time we'd have movie night once a week watching our Wait, what do you mean like started one? No, you guys were in a movie. Oh, yeah Chelsea and page in you know what I mean? No, I honestly, I'd probably watch it once and then I wouldn't watch it again

But I will watch it once you will. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you wouldn't like Have friends over and go. Hey, man. Hey, no, that would be the worst Hey watching any video of yourself With people around is yes. It's not a good feeling. Oh, you don't like it. Do you? If somebody's showing videos of you and you're just in the room, are you like, all right? I the first time I ever went to anything of a screening that I actually watched watch she was there Oh, which was reservation dogs and I didn't I only watch it because I didn't know they were because They were like, we're gonna show an episode. So I'm like, oh, they're gonna show the first one

I'm not in the first one. Yeah, so I'll go. So I sat there and I had to hold them. Yeah, you hold me down I want to leave and then they're we're showing to and I went What? Yeah, I can't watch I'm terrible like in my head. I'm like, I'm fucking terrible. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a nightmare. I don't because taiko white teeth. These are everyone's there, right? So I go to the side and I'm watching me. I sort of got I'm watching myself. I'm like I'm fucking good

It was the first time where I went I'm pretty good. Hell yeah. You know what I mean? And I was sat back down and I went no, that's good Good job. Yeah. Yeah, but that was the first time ever like everything I've ever done. I've never seen Whoa, it's just like because of the you know what you're saying. Yeah, I think we're too hard on ourselves You know, yeah, you hear your voice and you're just like damn. I sound like a 13 year old playing xbox live Wait, that's a thing, right? I fucking hate my voice like I you know when you hear it back Like you hear it one way coming out of your own mouth But then when you hear when you listen to it like when we have to like edit I'm like, oh

You like those youtube videos where people can hear for the first time because they have that cochlear implant, right? If I because that's the first thing they hear is their own voice If I was one of those guys I'd be like Hello Because I would hear my own voice going. I hate it. Yeah, you know what I mean? It would like put a cringe down my spine. I think oh, no, I like I like watching myself And you're in myself. I don't I can't relate to that. I don't know why Really? Oh, yeah, you love it. Yeah. Yeah, I'll watch anything I do. I'll I'll watch it

I can't wait to watch it But you don't like when people are no watch if we're in a group setting and someone's like, oh You don't know who she is. Let's pull up her and then I'm like, oh, yeah, of course. No one likes that But if nobody likes that if it's just me. Yes, I love I love to watch to watch myself It's the same thing when people go, where are you from and then you have to rat a lot of a bunch of credits I don't even do that. I go nowhere. I work at fucking pf Chang's I do I always say I work at pf Chang's and they go. Oh, yeah Because there's always a pf Chang's in town. Yeah, and they always go white people love to go. Yeah, it's always white people

Oh, yeah, pf Chang's is a good way if you're Asian that or panda express Yeah, oh gosh, if you're like in I feel like panna is way better than pf Chang's It's panna's better. It's so much better. I still eat panna. Panda's so dry though. Those noodles Those are all like stuck together. Oh real real chinese over here. It's Yeah, real chinese authentic right here. Yeah, it's always stuck together. I'm like, uh, that can't be good Is your dad still with us? Oh, yeah, he's still with us for sure. He's in utah. He's still in utah And what did he do for a living? He was a science teacher and then he started doing oil rig stuff. Whoa, whoa

So you had he had money growing up They seemed like two good moot jobs, right? I mean, yeah, they were okay, but I have a bunch of siblings. So Oh Yeah, I'm the youngest of eight Wow, that's a lot. Holy shit. Yeah, he was mass-producing for sure Wow, he was a fuck machine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah still is Is he from china? No. Oh, so he was born here too. Oh, right. So you gotta meet him Why do I have to meet him coolest dude ever? I'd love to meet him then. Yeah, he's so sweet

So he has no age now. He's like me then. Yeah, he's like you. What's his name? Alan. He's like, hey, I'm alan I'm bobby. Yeah, yeah, I like Alan and bobby. He's he's 77 Really? Is he still fucking her? Was that rude page that too rude or no? Okay. Chelsea sent him a picture of her pussy What And we didn't we didn't tell him who it was and we just sent the picture off of a random number What'd he say and then he didn't say nothing and then we went on family vacation I went with her with her family. We kept re-sending it because he wouldn't we could respond

So we found out we finally told him it was me and we were like, why didn't you respond? He goes? I thought it was one of y'all's fans and I didn't want to get in trouble or nothing But yeah, we we uh, we did that Like spread open Yeah, could you do it to bobby one day? No, I don't want to take some photos if you do it It'll destroy a lot of things I don't want to see the insides of the world open up new things. All right. Let me say something the funniest thing I've ever heard Very funny, right?

Um, who took the photo Me she did Yeah, there's a duo right so you took the photo. Yeah, because she was just laying there spread open and I was like Is that cream? Wait, wait, wait. No cream That's a different air. That's a different time. Oh, okay. That's different. Wait. Wait. You were just randomly spread open always I could get it aired out In front of your friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah girls do this. They do weird shit like that. Oh, yeah all the time we shall we're together Mm-hmm. Yeah, you get dressed and yeah, you're oh, yeah

So you took a photo of her. Yeah. Oh, I have so many pictures of her Spread open and her boobs everything but whole Wow. Yeah, and does she have photo of your photos of her? Yeah, she usually takes Mine too. Yeah all the time. That's insane. Yeah, that's incredible. It's really fun being a girl. Yeah, why don't we do that? Gilbert, yeah, we could we've never done that. Hey man, show me your caked ass. We go But it's a caked ass All right, don't bring that back. But No, what I'm asking you is

We never hang out. We don't hang out at all ever and number two and if even if we did it'd be fully clothed Usually probably watching a movie or something eating. Yeah. Yeah, we're eating I don't see where are you ever in a position where we're with guys where you're just hanging out where that could happen Where like let's say Ian Edwards just naked on a no Because even when I brought Ian Edwards to the Korean spa one night I I go you're gonna get naked. He's like nah, I got there's no that we're gonna wear your jeans in the spa And I turned around and he had found basketball shorts somewhere in the fucking Spa and he'd fool on these yellow lake or basketball shirt because I know they didn't bring them

And he goes, yeah, man, they're probably somebody's but I haven't I'm gonna wear these and such thing I just broke it down. He has a tiny penis then or something. He's black. There's no way It's long. I knew a black guy who was hung like a field mouse. Really? Yeah Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, maybe the folk folklore isn't true I mean look everybody's different if you're finding shorts that aren't even yours to cover up your dick Yeah, something's up. No because he's but but think about who he's going to the spa with you the trickster Oh, I mean you'll be doing on it, you know, I I I things and I I flick things and you know, you know me

I'm a trickster. Yeah, like if you spread in front, you know, you know, what's gonna happen getting a little poke Yeah, I'm not gonna poke my dick in it. No. Oh, yeah, my little flick. Oh, yeah, I'll do a flick. Yeah. Yeah, you know a hard one On the throw something at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like skittles or something. Yeah. Yeah, that'll be fun Can we do a skittles again? We're gonna see if I can throw skittles in the hole. I'll do it I will that's what I love about you. You have me you're a yes and oh, yeah Yeah, we're not done yet. I because I know you put the thing up, but I have to keep going I Let me I have to ask her another question

Um I've been studying you and um Which one page? Okay And um, oh boy, you're you're probably the greatest at falling The one that in and out that you did How long ago was that? I think that was in 2016 And which in and out was it?

The one in san diego off Of the 76. Is it clear? What's the weight probably? No, it like over an ocean side area. I'm trying to think of carl's bed Okay, 78. Oh off the 78 and marcos. Yeah kind. Yeah marcos vista. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that close that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Um, that fault were you there at that fall? No, I didn't know where then you didn't know where there That fall is have you seen the fall? I've seen all the magic. Yeah. Yeah. It's all of her fall. It's no It's oh, I get emotional. It's the perfect one. It's so committed this one. Have you seen this one? Oh my god, it's it was nuts. She commits you commit to the fall people were never like broken anything

Seriously, no, I just got the branch in my arm. That's it. Oh should I see it? Oh, I see Yeah, holy shit. I was like on that one you did no I made a video for snapchat just a dumb video because I was just jumping bushes You know, yeah, yeah, he goes. Yeah Um, so I was like when you see your ex in public and I ran and just jumped in a bush and when I got up of Branch and he held me. Oh my god. There's a picture of it. Wow. Have you seen it? No the picture Oh, no, they need to see the picture. They need to see the picture. Oh, it's on my instagram It might have like the blur over it for it's worst scene. It's the gnarliest picture I've ever seen

Did you feel it when it happened or only after no when it happened? I I thought I just broke my arm But then I stood up and then the pain just went away So I stood up and then I'm sitting there posting the snapchat Then I looked down And you'll see what I saw how many stitches Um, it was ripped really bad. So they just put I think seven like big staples. Yeah Yeah, because it was pretty but back to the in and out one. Um, when you did it

Did you when you were falling? Did you know it was going to be as epic as it was? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you know those that's it, right? I just killed it. I had to get a big shake And I knew that people tried to come at me. You broke my phone. It got wet. Oh fuck. What? No, really? Yeah I think but no, so what you're saying to me is people knew it was a prank or did they think that you really fell? No, once it it went viral That night and then weeks later people who were sitting there started making up shit I think it broke their phone even though I did not you didn't and also who gives a shit I know like a right a splat of milkshake. Yeah. Also. They were they witnessed perfection

Right. They were perfection when you witness perfection. Shut the fuck up. I'm just like you guys are even lucky to be there Let's watch this. Okay. Oh, not that one. It's gonna. Well, it's gonna show up. Yeah, I saw it this one There is a picture though Which bush that was the bush right there? Oh Oh Oh my god page page page page page page page page page stop and turn it off page. That's Fuck dude. That's did you think that you're gonna lose the arm? All right one last time. No, no that one left. Oh my god. What's that inside of the branch the uh muscle

No, the branch was in that's the oh, yeah the branch and then the purple. I was just so the purple is the muscle And you probably didn't feel any pain adrenaline No, just as soon as I jumped in I thought I broke my arm. Yeah, you can feel it. It's soft For a bit for a bit For snap chat that wasn't supposed to be anything Wow And then how long did it take you to heal a year? Uh, yeah a couple months for sure to heal up

And then I was weak in my left arm for a couple years They said it would take years for the muscle to grow back Did you know her then? No. Oh, you didn't know her then? Wow, is that when you stopped doing as many fault that because I don't think that you'd fall as much now Well, I Do fall a lot, but They take shit down all the day. They take all my falls down because they think they're real. It's violence And then yeah, and then we just filmed that

Show we did that didn't come out for seven weeks and I did how many fake hundreds of fake falls She came out Her legs were black and blue. Yeah From all the falls that we did she did and I was thinking you're like Jackie Chan Yeah, that's a Chinese part. Yeah, sure. Yeah You know, so I'm just like fuck dude. What do I do if all of my falls are gonna be taken down Can't fall can't fart can't do anything. What should I do? Can't fart. What can you do? Can't fart. Yeah, if all the whoa, so yeah, well

We have to create our own There's got to be a new Yeah Social media device that there's no I mean they're gonna put death shit on there. So how about this rumble What that's the social media device It's called grumble rumble and I can download it. Yeah, it's the one I think trump promotes No, I don't want to do that his oh, okay, but there's there like death shit on there Uh, no, it's just no censoring. Yeah, we gotta have one. That's not a trump thing. That's like, you know, I mean for

Maybe you we can fart if we want to fart maybe you're you could create it and it's just called no death No Com no death.com. No, it's an app. Yeah, okay. I want to do an app like instagram Right, you can follow people people get verified. No death and it's crazy shit. You know what I mean? Yes Like jackassy shit. Yeah, there's no range thing to censor farting I know Like that is the weirdest thing. There's so much crazy stuff out there and farting is what they're gonna choose to take down Gnarly girls will literally show

Pretty much their pussy. Yeah, and then We'll do something just dumb and they're artistic Well, they do that one where they have a shirt where you can see the full tits and everything and that's how they get away with it Yeah, yeah, I don't like it. That's fucking bullshit, man. Oh, yeah, we'll remember when um, you Um bobby had a photograph of him Um, what was it like you were naked, but you put a little beetle in front of your dick And they took that down like almost immediately and then stevo Oh, yeah, remember he put one up completely naked with his girlfriend like super sexual and oh, yeah

Stayed on oh they pick and choose because he's sexy and I'm not Oh, you think that's what it is. I think it was Because I'm a fat piece of shit. No, that wasn't no bobby. I'm a fat piece of shit. No, you're not I'm I don't see it Look, I'm looking and I don't see it. Anyway. Yeah, I mean they yeah, I that makes me mad when they do that shit Yeah, I recreated the kindle Jenner photo to like the tea and

Posted hers right next to mine and mine was down in like 10 minutes hers is still up She she put what was what six months ago six eight months ago kindle Jenner posted a full nude full nude laying on her side hand up Legs were crossed. I mean full nude. She blurred out the tiniest part of her. I mean the tiniest part of her nipple Stayed up got millions of likes Recreated it by the way it was hard to see which was which she did so good at recreating it down Violation, okay, so let me ask you something. Can't you sue instagram for that?

Oh, well, they took my whole page down. I know can you sue them for it? I'd like to big tech Yeah, people do have lawsuits for them, but I mean, what are we gonna say, you know, what are we gonna do? Well, it's it's body shaming Yeah, or some of some sort good angle or discrimination. Yeah, it's discrimination of some sort, you know, I mean because I think you're very beautiful, but I'm just saying discriminating because she's not a fucking Kardashian Right if you really want to get them play the race card. I'm half Chinese. That's why you guys took it. Oh, that's true

That's true You don't look asian to me though It's the proper, but anyway What do you mean? I mean, you're right Yeah, no you are I'm looking at her to double check. I know sometimes I feel weird saying it Because I don't look it so I don't want people to be like She's lying, you know, yeah, I mean like if there was a race war Right

The all of a sudden you read the news The whites are killing the Asians and back and forth. There's a war, right? Obviously you would join us, right? Right because they would find out about you Right, even though right. So would you would we accept her? We'd have to we would 100% so yeah, you'd have to kill her Yeah, in the war. I'm bringing Chelsea on our team. You came in. I mean, I would love To yeah, are you asian? She's a little bit. Yeah like 1 16th can Yeah, yeah, are you still with your husband? Yeah, and he's in natural too He's technically living in still in san diego, but he will be out in may

Wow, yeah for multiple reasons, but he's yeah, we're he's gonna move full-time. Yeah, and do you guys get along? Who me and her husband? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Love him, right? Yeah, Greg Is his name is Greg? Greg. Yeah. Yeah. I've never met Greg. I'd like to meet him one day. Oh, he's a cool dude He's why he's he is wild very loud We'll make best friends with anybody. I mean, he's he's the type of dude like you you won't just meet him and then never hear from him again He'll be he hops into uber and then he's best friends with literally driver. Oh I love guys like that. That's him really times a million. Oh, he'll be like, oh, I'm gonna go fishing with so-and-so With allen and I'm like who it who? Oh, I met him on craigslist

Oh, I'm not one of those. Oh, he'll like. Oh, wow. He'll buy. He's really into cars He'll buy like motor parts from people and become best friends of them. Whoa He'll like, oh, I'm going out to dinner with uh, steve and his wife. I'm like, who's that? Wow. Yeah, that's I'm the opposite of that, right? Yeah, yeah, even if I know somebody for 30 years, I'm gonna have dinner You hate dinner. No, I gotta go by myself We still gotta go to mastros Not only that, you know, you know, don't I'm not forgetting about that. Wait, wait, wait. I owe you two. Yeah. Why? You told me

You asked if I had tried something fancy That is right. You he offered you a nice. Well, this was this was on the movie set Oh, I think you even did on the back. Oh, yeah, me too now. You were supposed to take her to korean Whatever you're doing right now. Stop. Yes. Yes. No, whatever you're doing right now. Stop. All right You go ahead. What did I say? I want to say it was caviar or something. I was like, hell no and you're like, no You got to have it good. You're like, I'll I'll take you to mastros and I'll get you caviar And I was like, don't fucking tell me that and then not So I'm gonna hold you to that. Okay. May I say something else then in rebuttal? Oh god. Yeah. What do you mean? Oh god

I'm scared. Don't be scared. Okay I almost died because of you Why? Oh What happened? I ate so much boiling crab almost died. Yes Yes, no, not that you died, but that's you that's okay because I was telling you boiling crab is amazing You're a oh that place suck. Is that wait? Why are you sorry? Oh, yes? Yes, let's go. Let's go there all

Okay, so I'm telling you Chelsea. No, no Seven out of seven days of a week. He's there because no no listen. Listen what your reaction is You don't like going but you think it's garbage. Oh, it's so be honest. Oh, it's the best honest I think but what's in your life? Be honest. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. What do you order? It's not I like boiling crab I just don't want to go there every day. Oh such a fucking liar. It makes me so angry You don't like it. You're a liar I hate talking to you. I know but you don't like it. I had you you can I say something? Oh, yeah, go ahead. Okay. Do the truth

Okay, the truth One of my best friends his name is Cory. He does the best Crab boils like he puts it in our backyard And he the best sausage the best corn and it's just I it's such an elevated level that like nothing compares to that And so maybe that's why that's not like that's why would I spend money there when I can just give Cory and like a money for Lobster and he can pick and choose and he can actually just make it for me. Okay. No, that's okay I get everything I was there the last I did go with you the last yeah I had to beg and and you complained the whole time be honest. I didn't complain Bobby. What do you order everything?

I get the king crab. I get the king crab. I get the fucking lobster I get the fucking two orders of sauces. I get potatoes. I get the fucking corn the cob I do the all shishabang. I get a side of white rice I get the fucking beverage and I go for it It's your fault because I went there every single day for a fucking week because of you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you I almost died That makes me happy. Why did you almost die? I ate so much Just I what is it? Uh, you eat too much shrimp you get like iron iodine poisoning

I'm scared to do that. No, it's um, that's a thing. It's iodine poisoning. Yes iodine poison. Yes You eat too much. I thought it was mercury. Well, maybe that's it mercury. Yeah Yeah, mercury poisoning is iodine or mercury poison. Let's find out like mercury is for a certain other fish. Yeah I've never heard of iodine poison. Check out this head. Yeah, iodine. If I see any too much shrimp headaches iodine and cholesterol Yep, you're right again. Yeah, and I was gonna shame you because of the southern thing. You were I know and I am I bad Thank you. My bad. My friend crazy witches happen What you try to talk while you had a mouth full of throat full of vape. Yeah, and they could sound and like you You got a dick in your mouth. Oh my god. Like play it back. Do it again. Yeah, try it again

Try it Bobby. Here we go Oh my god, see I what are you doing? You're trying to kill me. I was in making sure you're not gonna die I'm not gonna go dying on this. Those things are so addicting They are so addicted. No, no, whatever puff on one of those I do want to come to um, so me and Andrew are going to Nashville To do our tour win In April Okay, I gotta be here. I think I'm gonna be on tour. Oh

So we can't hang out. I'll figure out what we would love you to have it on the show actually dude. I oh my god Let me know it's over. We don't know yet. We'll see what happens. Yeah Can I show you a video of the crab boils that my oh my god? I hate this shit. Yeah, do you get the eggs? Do you get the eggs? You can't get eggs? They have eggs in boiling crab. Yes, you can't Bobby. Yes, you can't Bobby. Well, look at that egg Hard boiled hard boiled. That's the only kind right? Yes. And then when you put it in the bag too with it Yes, they do what what level of spice do you get? I just get regular Let's see that's weak

On eggs get spice. Well, you like going there too, bro. I've never seen eggs. They put eggs in it. They sure do Oh, I did not know I'm sold on that. Yes the eggs. Oh, I did not know about the eggs Oh, don't yell at me because I don't fucking know. Well, I'm telling you all right now I know I'm and I'm going to Hawaii what in a week and a half you're gonna have yeah and money get eggs in it Oh, it's gonna be great. Are you going for vacation or what? Magnum PI baby working. Oh damn. He's an actor Magnum PI baby We heard it can I have a can I have a sizzle of one of those what do you mean you want some Bobby gave me so much shit for eating at crap boiling crab because I had said oh

I'm taking friends to boiling crab that never been before he was like, uh, why don't you take them somewhere nice? Why don't you take them so that space is nasty. I was like you're fucking wrong. It's amazing And the reason why I said that is because she influenced me Okay, the reason why is I you know, there was a time where I was high mighty right like she right like me Yeah, yeah high mighty and and foofy to be exact. Okay, and you brought me back to my humbling beginnings That's great. All right to the roots of it all that's great. You know what? I like the place Gilbert I'm sending it to you right now. That makes me happy. It's good. All right. You're gonna sit. Okay. Watch this. Well. No, this is just No, let's see. Let's see. We'll we'll know based on photo. This is pre before it's spiced by the way

But it's just like I have Friends who just do this for me, but they don't do the hushabang. They don't put the fucking right garlic sauce in it The garlic the butter the butter they don't do that and the cayenne whatever they do Yes, they do they set up the sauces afterwards. You know you put it in the back Dip it or not. You got to put it in the back or you cook it and you're cooking it. It does need to be on it. It needs to be messy Okay, what's this pretty this is them preparing it. They haven't added the sauces yet. Okay. This is just in the back. That's my assistant That's melanie melanie. I mean, that's really a high quality. Let me just look at it. Okay. Well, that's look at that That looks great. It does does need the hushabang on there

But bang because that's the soak in that flavor. It can't just be a dip. Yeah, it's got to soak right Right. Yeah, gotta sound gotta soak everything right man. So what I'm going to out of town tonight in New York So tonight. Yeah tonight. Yeah nine nine o'clock. They're picking up at nine That's why I had to do laundry before the guy was like panicking. It sucks. Oh, sweetie. I could have helped you Yeah, so at nine o'clock. I have to fly so I can't take it to maestros this week next time But next time hell we go boiling crab. We don't gotta go to maestros. Yeah But I also want to get on this. I want to say how do we figure out how to pitch a show? Let's just do it right now. We put it out in the air and now it's gonna happen

We got to actually take it to no, but do what? Why don't why don't you have a team? I do I do you have a team doing it? Yes, and I've been thinking about I've been actually thinking about this for a while for a solid year Um, yeah, I would like for this to happen. That's why and I told you when he brought it up I was like bro. Yes, I've been because I don't I don't I'm not a showrunner I'm not even a writer, but I do want to get created with you. I can come up with characters and we can sit in a room And we can come up with the whole thing and I like to just be I don't have to have a gigantic chunk I really believe that even if I had like one percent of the show that I become a multimillionaire

Yeah, that's how much I believe in it. You just want to be in the credits No, I want the money. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think you guys are money. Yeah I think you guys are millions of dollars right now the untapped resources. Yeah, and it'll happen and I And I'm being dead serious. I'm not even trying to be like and you fuckface if you ever fucking deceived me I know listen Listen fuckface you two too. Oh, yeah If you two fucking red ones right from the fucking woods ever

Deceive a fucking Korean city boy like me. I'm from the suburb. You know what I'm saying, right? I'll be fucking I'll get my revenge. Right. So you'll always do this podcast No matter how big you are. Yeah Bobby, I'm not going to deceive you. We don't want the mafia coming after us. I don't have a mafia. Yeah, okay. Yeah, mafia You want to die? No, okay. I've got a show to film. No death. No death. No death Because I'm telling you right now. I that's how much I believe But I don't want you to change. I'm not are you kidding me change? What I'm always going to be trash, Bobby There's no change. There's no change. I don't even change my underwear. Have people change man

I won't. Yeah. Yeah. What if one day, right? Pitch check this out. This is what's gonna happen one day You're gonna be like, hey Hey, Chelsea I'm trying to get Chelsea. You want to go to boiling crack? Right. Right. Right. No, and she's gonna be like, uh I'm doing this thing with brad And you go brad who? pit exactly

Oh, well, what if I and it would that hurt your heart? No, what if I am doing this thing with brad pit? I'll catch you after Yeah, why don't you invite her you won't because why because she moved on to she moved on to bigger and better pastures Did why are you splitting them up? I'm not splitting them up. I'm splitting them up. I'm just saying I can sense it Oh, yeah, what? What are you gonna do? So I look like the type of guy girl I look that's the type of woman girl That would change after money and fame. No, what I'm saying is is that you're not even privy to it when it's happening, right?

It's such a subtle thing manifestation, right? But it could happen. I'm just saying be mindful of it. Okay? One day, you know what I mean? You might fucking, you know go. Hey, man Sorry, sorry page, but you know, I got hollywood shit to do man. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're gonna have your little heart's gonna break No, she'll keep me in check No, you won't even hear it You won't even hear it. Bobby, you're scaring me. So what is it? Well, I'm just trying to fucking instill some sort of fucking thing in you, man It's I'm not gonna change. She's not a narcissist. Like she can you know, okay? Good good good. You love animals, right? Oh love

Yeah, how about you page you like animals? Oh, yeah, big animal lover dogs. Now. I kiss my dog in the mouth Is that weird? No, I kiss my I make out with them. Whatever. Oh, I will I will oh my god I will hold my little babies. What I want to show you guys a video We could blur it out Obviously on youtube because we're gonna get obviously the monetize, but I want to show you guys a video of bobby and I love animals. Okay. Our dogs. It's not sexual. No, no, you like dogs the most. I love all animals cats I love all I have three cats upstairs. Yeah I have three cats upstairs. Are you little dogs upstairs? No, she moved out. She took the dogs

Yeah, I took the dog. How many animals do you have? Well together we have seven. We had seven. Yeah, we have seven Do they come and visit the baby dog? I haven't seen him since he moved out. He hasn't visited I want to visit you, but she had a man over at her house. Oh, wow. Did you not? It's none of your business. I didn't say the guy's name. I'm just saying you had a man over. I'm not offended by it Gilbert, let me say something. Whoa, homie. What you just did right there is like, oh, it's uncomfortable, right? What I do hear it out. Chachi. All right. I'm just saying I said yesterday. I was going to come over I'm not offended. I'm not jealous, but I said I was going to come over to visit Doug

She's like, not tonight's not a good night. I go, why not? She's like, uh, I'm doing things, right? I hear male breathing in the background. That's not true. That's obviously true. I hear male breathing in the background. How does the male breathing sound? Yeah, that's like that. Yeah, and it wasn't the dog. I'm telling you right now, right? Jules? It's fine. Just be honest Did you have somebody overly yesterday? A man? It's none of your business. I know it's none of it. If it was my business If it was no, if it was no, you would say no. That's all I'm saying. Nope. Show them the video. Nope. Nope. I will. Did you send it? I could just, well, why would he be breathing that hard?

Exactly. Right. Right. Exactly. Penetration. She's not going to answer it. I swear I'm real. The video. This video is going to blow your mind. Oh, let's just do this. Let's cut into this part. Hard reset. You just saw a video of my penis. Yeah. What'd you think? What'd you think of it? Big penis. Huge. You wouldn't think looking at you. No, thank you. But then, uh, yeah, big surprise. I was actually surprised. I mean, I was. You always thought, oh, give me some. It was good size. Oh, give me some. Oh, give me some. Give me some. Give me some. Penis clout. Oh, right, right, right. Telling my penis is big. I'm thinking, dang, that thing's a shrimp wiener. And it was a shrimp. No. It's a boiling crab. It's a boiling crab wiener. Thank you so much. I appreciate that, man.

Keep that part in. Yeah, I always thought you were reaching for, you know, the tell me it's big because it wasn't, but. Yeah, no. No, I think people assume that it's like a dot. Because that's what you put out there. Yeah. Well, I put a dot energy. It's dot energy. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yes. Big dot energy. Oh, big dot energy. Like a button. Like a button. Yeah, button energy. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, but it's not. It's not a button. It's a worm. A big worm. It's a big worm. Well, let's just say worm. It's more snake. It's a small snake. It's a small snake. You got that worm energy. Yeah, it's a water snake for sure. Water snake. So you have a podcast tonight you're doing? No, this is it for today. What do you have tomorrow? Trash to today. Wow. Oh, you guys are going to come

both. Right. We're doing fart art. Are you going to do fart art? Yeah, we're going to fart. I'm in New York a lot. I would love to come. I would love it. What do you suggest I do to gas myself up, like do to make myself extra? Oh, nightshades. Oh, nightshades. Oh, are you going to fart too? I'm going to try. You guys got to make her do it. Come on. We could all just... I think we need fiber. You eat tomatoes a lot. Tomatoes. We could do that. Starbucks for sure helped. Starbucks what? What? Machiato. Get the milk. That dairy will turn your stomach. Okay. What else? Try to think of what you usually get Taco Bell. I got just a lot of shit. Just eat a lot tonight, maybe. You know what I do? Is I chew and then I swallow and then I try to swallow air between

food. Oh, wow. We could just chew gum. No, what I do? I chew food and then I swallow and I swallow the air with it. Well, I get really gassy when I chew gum. Really? Yeah, because you're swallowing. Yeah, I'm swallowing air. It's basically the same thing. They also say those vape pens help. Yeah. You think so? Yeah, that's what I read. I heard that. So if you vape, do a lot of those. I'd like to visit you guys in Nashville. Yeah, come over and just hang out. Yes. No, you're just saying that. I can sleep at your house. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yes. We do videos and stuff. Yes, make TikToks. I love TikToks. Yeah, we could do a lot of stuff. You guys are all welcome. Oh, all y'all, 100%. Should we just do a Tiger Bell episode in Nashville on our compound? I think we should do that.

Yeah. Yeah. Tiger Bell in Nashville. That'd be awesome. Do you have anything to promote? Yeah. I'm going on tour. I leave in like three weeks. I'll be out for like two months. I'm going to hit up everywhere. Go get tickets on my website, eatmytrash.com. That's a real website. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be in Richmond, Virginia. Theaters? Yeah, most of them are theaters. West Palm Beach. I'll be doing a bunch of Florida. I'll be everywhere, man. It's going to be cool. Does Paige go with you or no? No, she doesn't go, but sometimes she'll pop into a random, a random. And when you do, they public go crazy. Yes. People start crying. Yeah, they, yes. I love when they cry. She can't walk out.

Really? I mean, she does, but it's wild. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, I can't walk out because... So do you guys feel famous? No. No. Do you? And there's our podcast, the viral podcast. I guess when I do go to her shows, it's just you just get bombarded by people, but you're like... Yeah, when you're living regular life, you don't feel it. No, not at all. But I just did the San Jose improv, right? And obviously the shows are sold out. They're all my people. So when I'm in the building, they see me, they react in a way I'm like, and it's like weird. It's like, oh, it's all here. Like all the Bobby Lee attention is here. But once I leave, you go back to normal. But it is an interesting dynamic. It really is. Yeah, big time. Because even when you're home,

you know, like any decision you make or whatever you put out there, it's seen, you know... Oh, everybody's watching? Yeah, everyone's watching. And then so I don't know, it's always in the back of your head, but I'm so grateful for everything. Big time. I am grateful too. Are you grateful? Oh, extremely. There's a lot of gratitude. Dude, we get to do this for a living. I know. What? What? Like that's wild. It's wild. It really is wild. I mean, truthfully, that I'm, oh, I'm blown away. Dude, that people even, I'm like, it's just wild. Yeah. I mean, I remember sitting, I was on stage last Saturday night, second show, and I sat in the stool and I was looking at the audience. I was just talking to them. And I just remember going, thank you so much for the support.

I love you guys so much because it's like, I just appreciate it. And I also, I always thought that there was something wrong with me growing up. Just I always thought that like, no one likes me, I'm a loser or whatever the, whatever the tapes were saying. And, you know, these are the moments where I go, no, you're not. People relate to you. People are connected to you. You're connected to other people. And this is, if there's only one life, I think I chose the, I mean, I have one of the best ones I could have. Yeah. What do you guys think? I'm getting a little, honestly, I'm getting a little emotional. That's really, yeah, that's, that's awesome. Yeah. And it is hard to say thank you because, you know, everyone's like, thank you so much. And it's hard to like,

how do you say thank you, where people just know you truly mean it, you know? Yeah. Because it can just become so cheesy. Maybe. But it's like you're truly, I am truly thankful. So thankful. Yeah, yeah, I really am. Yeah. It's amazing. And you know what I also like about you two last thing was I know it's long. How long are we at? We're going to almost be at two. Yeah, yeah. I love it. We only do an hour, but this is a long one. Sorry about that. No, it's me. I want to say last thing is that it could, and this is the last thing I'm going to say, you don't have to say anything after that because I'm ending it. Okay, right. It couldn't have it. Let me say it again. It couldn't happen to a nicer group of girls.

You like their patron you saying that Asian accent or something? Was it the accent? Maybe give it with the accent so they can what it was the accent. I don't know what I said wrong. Thank you guys. Thank you guys. It's the fact that we couldn't say that yet. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely ad free on Amazon music, download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash

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