TigerBelly - Chloe Cherry & The Magic of Life
Episode Date: July 2, 2024Actress Chole Cherry (Euphoria) stops by. We chat lovebomb, red flag rhinos, funfetti cake, greek mothers, step-dad Chris, and The French Italian. ...
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I avoid the sun.
You do?
Yeah.
What has the sun ever done to you?
What has the sun ever done to you?
You hate the sun out of anyone in the world.
What do you mean?
I've never met someone so sun-paranoid than you.
The sun hasn't treated me well, and I want to admit to it.
The sun, well, my friend Steve Byrne got sun poisoning.
And ever since he told me that, I've been like, no.
Also, I've been saying no to you.
And also it's like, you know, sun's against,
I have a lot of vampire friends.
Yep.
Right?
So that's that. The reason why I don't like the sun
is because it's during the day. If the sun was out at night, I would go out, you know
what I mean? At night in the sun. You know what I mean? It's the timing of the sun. It's
the timing of the sun. I don't like. Okay. It's weird. You don't sound up saying. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's like 9 PM. The sun's out, I would love to go out. Am I not right? Move to Alaska. What?
Move to Alaska.
The sun's already out.
What a genius.
You don't think I've ever thought about that, Jaime?
No, have you?
I haven't.
No, I haven't.
Danny called you out.
Bro, bro, you know what I love about you right now?
You're getting so much confidence.
You're talking back to me and I love it.
You know what?
Dude, I want you to be alpha male, Jaime, Okay. Just get aggressive with me. Make fun of me. How come you don't know that Bobby?
You know what I mean? Why are you so dumb? I want you all that and it's gonna lighten my heart.
Okay so Chloe Cherry let's start from the beginning okay. Let's meditate.
You're not doing it, Chloe.
I'm supposed to hum.
Yeah, yeah, dude.
Mm.
Welcome to another episode.
When I'm doing the meditation,
please don't make up your own words
and put summer in there.
Why would you put say summer during a meditation, dude?
Because it's summer. I know it's summer.
Third day of summer. It's a oh, sorry, my bad.
Yeah, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. All right.
Summer, winter, fall, spring.
Give me another season. How many?
There's only five seasons. There's only five. Five. There's only five seasons.
There's only five?
Five?
Five?
Wait, there's five or four?
Name all of them.
Yeah, name all five seasons.
You just name all?
No, name all five seasons.
I'll name five all five seasons.
Fall, winter, semester.
Winter semester.
Semester is its own season.
Well, in school it was fall, winter, semester.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, you're a genius, huh?
Never thought of it that way.
My God.
There's a way of looking at everything in a different way, you know? Perspect huh? Never thought of it that way. My God.
There's a way of looking at everything in a different way,
you know, perspective.
New pair of glasses.
And that's what I'm wearing right now.
Anyway, so Chloe, I...
Give her a round of applause.
Chloe Cherry.
Yeah, so Chloe, you know, I met you for the first time when?
I think I met you, wasn't that just the other night
at the Comedy Store?
That's right.
It was like a month ago.
It was a month ago I met you at the Comedy Store.
Did you see my performance?
Yeah, I did.
Yeah, I felt like you didn't like it.
I loved it.
Did you really?
Yeah, it was amazing.
I think you did like it.
I really liked it.
You were with who?
I was with my boyfriend and Sawyer, who you also know.
Yeah, she's right there.
She's a weird one, huh?
You like her?
I think she's great.
Yeah, yeah.
I never seen her legs before.
Can I talk about your legs or no?
What?
Very thin, very nice.
Anyway, what?
You know that Sawyer and I had a whole
honeymoon in Hawaii together, right?
What'd you guys do, rub scissors?
Rub scissors.
No, we did, did we not?
We had like the most like romantic, like whole day, like,
yeah. That was nice.
Want you to know that.
What'd you guys do though?
How was it romantic?
We did yoga, we talked, we cherished.
Would you, with Kara?
No, just her and I.
Yoga just together. Oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah, Kara? No, just her and I yoga just together. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, Kara's glass. Yeah. Well, there we go dog
Just tearing each other doing yoga. Yeah, that would have been weird. Yeah naked yoga in some closet somewhere
Anyway, um, yeah, I would jerk off to that. Wait, I'm actually
Can I say that or no? What is going on?
Is this a Christian podcast?
Here's what I'm gonna say. You're not allowed to jerk off to me anymore.
Whoa. I haven't in years. Thank you.
I don't know about that.
Thank you, I haven't jerked off to you in years.
You know what I mean? What?
Say it to her eyes and say that.
I haven't jerked off to you in years.
When was the last time you thought about me?
In what way? In a slightly dirty way.
No, no, not in a way.
The last time I thought about you was like,
oh, my air conditioning.
Who's going to fix it?
No, no, no, what happened was, so check this out.
And you bitch.
I'm sorry.
I just want to say one thing. Bitch, I love you.
But I want to say something.
So the last couple of months, I love you. But I wanna say something.
So the last couple of months, I literally was like,
oh, something's dead in the air conditioning.
I thought a raccoon, right?
A raccoon had died in the vents.
So what did I do?
Like a fucking gentleman.
Go in there.
No, I didn't go in there.
I called someone to go in there.
Some guy comes in, he looks at all the,
he's like, hey buddy, there's no raccoon, right?
You could have called my guy, he's an HVAC guy.
Really? Yeah.
Anyway, he goes, he asked me, I don't even know what the fuck.
Sorry, Chloe.
But, are you mad?
No, no, not at all, this is interesting.
Please don't get angry.
But, we're gonna talk a lot about you, okay?
But, just give me, let me get this off my chest're going to talk a lot about you.
Just give me, let me get this off my chest.
Thank you for coming here.
What'd you say?
OK.
Are you high right now?
No.
OK.
See, the guy goes, well, where's your filter?
And I go, bro, are we making coffee?
Down here, I know where your filter is.
I didn't, I didn't think it needed.
Because I usually change it out for you.
Exactly, so since you've moved out,
I haven't changed the filter.
Are you kidding me?
No.
A year?
Two.
Two years.
Oh my God, are you okay?
And he pulls it out, it was like a black solid coal, piece of coal, right?
Because buddy, and I go, what?
He goes, every three months, I go, I don't fucking know.
Yeah. Right?
And so we switched it out, no more raccoon.
Oh my God. Right?
But I feel like you never told me that
so I could die in black mold.
Black. Chloe, can I just tell you,
I still take care of his gardener, his pool guy,
all other things regarding the house.
I'm sorry, I forgot about the filter.
My bad.
Is there something else that I might die from?
Probably, but just call me.
I'll figure it out.
Okay, back to Chloe.
Yay!
Yeah, Chloe.
Chloe, actually, I had a really, really good question that he wanted to ask you. I have one last thing I wanna say. Okay, yeah. And it's not even a question, it's a remark. Yeah. Chloe, Chloe. But Chloe, actually, I had a really, really good question
that he wanted to ask you.
I have one last thing I want to say.
There's not even a question.
It's a remark, okay?
I like you, that's number one.
Number two, I like your boyfriend.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, go ahead.
The question that you asked me, how hot does it get?
Oh yeah, so I was out this weekend back home
and a dude was able, how good looking do you have to be
in order to take a girl from a one night stand
and get picked up by your mom?
Because that's what happened and he took her home.
No, I don't understand.
What?
Yeah, we both don't understand.
That's just in English.
I was wearing a sweater.
Let me translate.
No, no, let me see what he has.
How soon, right, this is not gonna work, right?
How soon do you take, you meet a girl girl and then mom? What's going on?
Okay so I'm outside this bar and... You are? Yes. What's the bar called? Just FYI?
Casablanca. Beautiful. Yeah it's nice. And what was that? Was that a movie? No it is a movie.
Yeah who's in it? I don't know man. Great job. But it's a movie. Humphrey Bogart. And uh okay. It's one of the
best movies I've ever made. I'll give it a watch. But anyways that's the point. This dude is
getting picked up by his mom. Okay so. And he has a girl. Alright so there's a dude, your friend. No
I don't even know this dude. I just I'm witnessing everything. Well first of all mind your own
business. Well she's creepy. When I'm at the Casablanca. I'm just like tunnel vision. Yeah, it doesn't was because the late the mom
She was looking for her son. She's like Tony
Right. Yeah, I'm driving out. I'm the mom Tony
No, she's outside the bar on the phone with him. She's talking Spanish. What'd she say? Oh, yeah
Francisco it was Tony. Oh, okay. It was. She's on the phone. Where are you?
Yeah, in Spanish. You know, I don't know Spanish, asshole. I don't know it. That's why I did it this
way. She's asking where you at. You said 12 o'clock. I'm in the front. Yeah, and then he's like,
Mom, I'm right here. But he's like with a girl, he just met at the bar.
And then the mom drove them both home.
Okay, this is great.
And I'm assuming they had stuff happen.
No, that's in your mind, do you think that happened?
I think it happened.
Oh, three way.
No.
That's where your mind went.
Oh, that's where my mind went.
You thought the mom had sex with a son
and the girl he just met. No, it was just, it's in my mind went. You thought the mom had sex with a son and his girl he just...
Yeah, well, then it was just, it's the Casablanca.
That's the Casablanca.
Humphrey Bogard picks up a Moroccan woman, right?
Mom's there.
What's going on?
Wait, you don't, okay.
Okay, so go ahead.
So the guy picks up a girl at the bar
and he was like, come back home with me yeah but my mom is
like right around the corner she's taking us home and so you don't think
that like I mean that's a question for like how attractive does it had a beard
I don't know that's a beard like a nice beard um I I think he'd have to be I
don't think he'd have to be I don't think he'd have to be that attractive. I think that maybe the girl would just have to be pretty
Drunk and like corny, you know to really want to do that, right?
It just depends on the girl and the game the game right? It's a great story to tell
Where you're like this is pathetic, but I'm gonna do it
Yeah, it would be a really funny story to tell what would he have to explain to the girl like yo Mike McCartney shop and
I don't have money for uber. I mean I mean just based on the story. Yeah, he doesn't have money
Well, he's okay. So that's my question. I thought it was like 17 18, but no 27 about oh wow
Yeah, yeah, if your mom's picking you up. There's no money involved, right?
Oh wow. Yeah, yeah.
If your mom's picking you up,
there's no money involved, right?
I mean, yeah.
On the right home, though.
Just on my own ego, I'd be like,
I know my mom's gonna pick me up,
I'm gonna call her and say,
no, pick me up, I'm gonna get an Uber.
Right, and then they went back to his parents' house.
How do you know that?
They got in the same car and they drove off.
And that's it.
I don't wanna follow them.
What if they just drop the girl off?
And also, how do you know it's mom? What if it's an uber? No, she was saying me. Ho me ho a key story I've had many uber drivers
Interesting yeah. Hmm. What if it was the both parents Chloe? Oh
That would be he'd have to be really attractive.
Really?
Yeah, oh yeah.
How about both parents and he's super hot.
Okay, he looks like a young Tom Hardy.
Yeah, and both of his parents came.
And the grandmother now.
She's in the back.
Abuela.
Yeah, and she's in the back.
And you, I wanna see between you guys.
I don't know, I just feel like at my age,
it feels too, I feel, because I'm almost 27,
I feel like that's just too old to be doing that.
Maybe if I was way younger, you know?
Yeah.
But at my age, I would feel so old.
It reminds me, when I went on that date, it was way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere.
Which one?
I don't know if I told you guys, but I went on this date.
I can't keep track.
Yeah, I can't keep track.
And I went all the way to like, Allaham or something like that.
That's not that far.
Yeah, but for a date it is.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
And then she goes, hold on, my parents are gonna come out.
Her parents came out, they're huge mad TV fans.
So then I got up and I took shook hands
You know all that stuff and it was I took it took away from
The sexual aspects of it. I think you're meeting parents. Yeah, it's weird. Are you good with parents Chloe?
Yeah, yeah, pretty yeah, I think I feel like you would charm the pants out of them
I feel like I don't know if I really charm them
I feel like I'm just kind of nice enough to make them like me
Yeah, but historically you've always kind of done well with parents. Yeah moms and stuff you give gifts or no
Not necessarily to the parents. Hmm. How many done that?
What are the rules like when you first meet like someone like if I'm meeting your parents for the first time going to your house like when I first met his parents
like I bought like like all of these Asian pears whatever like a bunch of
that stuff right meeting your mom for the first time but is that even like
required like I think rules around that I've never heard of that I've never
done that either really if I was a Greek woman okay what would you give me if I
was a Greek woman what would you give me a Greek like mother-in-law mother yeah yeah yeah and I'm like 400 pounds yeah
and I got hair on my eyelids okay so it's very easy for me I go to thank you
you son of a bitch what's a Greek what give me give Kalala
scenario he's talk I don't even know how Greek people sound really. You're like Yanis Papas. You do it.
Chocolate?
Yeah yeah yeah.
Anyway, I'll tell you what you get
at Fat Greek Woman.
What?
Yeah, that's a little bit too on the nose.
Yeah, like you want to go a little broader.
Like I would probably bring something
I like which is at the Farmers Market
here, this French place
They have these really good truffles. I would bring something like that. Mmm, but I I want to ask Chloe now
Yeah, I'm gonna tell you what kind of dad I am and you and then you're meeting me. Okay, okay, so I'm
a Japanese man, I'm 90
And I was a young bonsai kamikaze, I survived it.
Kamikaze like a fighter pilot?
Yeah.
He said bonsai first.
Bonsai kamikaze.
I thought you were like a bonsai tree guy.
Is that what they yell?
Bonsai?
Really?
They go bonsai!
Bonsai, yeah.
Thank you so much, or thank you, thank you.
So you got what I said when bonsai kamikaze guy.
No, I was thinking bonsai tree, beautiful. Yeah, I was a bonsai tree
I'm a bonsai tree right you bring clippers
What am I all right? So anyway, um, I'm an old guy, right? I've been through the war right a strict Japanese man
Right, and so I'm telling myself. Oh oh I look out the window and let's
see the sun's next to me she's so pale right right and I know that you have a
gift right oh she's a gift for me right you open the door what do you give me
probably like something like I would like bake a cake.
Oh, that's sweet.
Oh, that's sweet.
What color cake is that?
What color cake would I bake?
Like a Funfetti cake.
It's a Funfetti cake.
Oh, that's my favorite kind.
Oh, is it?
Yeah, Funfetti.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I usually read vervet, but Funfetti, holy shit.
Wow, that's very good.
Okay, what if I was a blind, you know what I mean, Jewish woman, lady who went
lived through the Holocaust. Okay.
Oh he covered my back.
Oh young lady what'd you get me?
Maybe like a pair of slippers.
Whoa what kind?
Took a turn.
Like something designer.
A designer slipper from Gucci?
Yeah.
Oh, Gucci!
But technically you could lie, right?
And just tell them you're Gucci.
Oh, Gucci's blind.
Right, pay less and then you go Gucci on it.
Yeah.
Whoa, that's crafty.
That's interesting, that's interesting.
What if their parents were dead?
Let's say I go, my parents died, but we had to leave something on their funeral.
I mean at their grave site.
That's low pressure.
No, that's very important.
That's just flowers.
Yeah.
Oh, that's flowers? Oh, shit.
What would you bring, Bobby, to a grave site?
Bacalaba.
Bacalaba.
No, I would bring, aside from flowers?
Yeah.
Oh, I know what.
I would carve, if it was both of us,
if it was mom, I would carve her out of her marble.
I would construct, I would carve her face out of her marble
so then it could be kind of a permanent thing there.
Right?
And I know, you know, you don't know that little letter
on the marble, on the bottom part.
You don't know me, you know what I mean?
I'm gonna fucking raw dog.
Your daughter, whatever.
But here's a statue.
Are your parents still with us?
Yeah.
Well, my mom is.
What?
That was a crazy sequence.
That was a crazy line.
Why'd you laugh like that?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want the question over again or?
No, no, no.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess like my parents,
like my mom and stepdad are, my dad isn't.
Where is he?
He died.
Oh, I'm sorry.
When you were really young, right?
Yeah, yeah.
How old was he?
How old was he?
He was 39 when he died.
Oh. Oh my God.
And how old were you?
I was like seven or eight. Do you remember it? Yeah
I must have been devastating and traumatic. Do you have siblings? Yeah, I have a younger brother
And then when did the stepdad come in?
Probably when I was like
13 did you like him? Yeah, you love him. Yeah, he's calm was by first name probably. Yes
John-j John or whatever.
John John.
Hey, John John.
You call him Dad ever or no?
No, I've never called him Dad.
Yeah.
But do you ever say, I love you John John?
No, not really.
You've never said, I love.
Do you love him?
Let's get to that.
Do you love him?
What's his name?
Can we say his name or no?
Yeah, his name is Chris.
All right, so you call him Chris.
Do you love Chris? Yeah, so you call him Chris. Yeah.
Do you love Chris?
Um, yeah, I guess in a way.
Like, yeah.
In what way?
I don't know. I've literally never until this moment thought of if I loved my stepdad.
But this is a great time to answer that question. Do you love Chris?
But well, this is a great time to answer that question. Do you love Chris? I
Yeah, like yeah, I've known him for so long so
I've known certain people for a long time. I don't love them, you know
What what am I being is this a bad line of questioning?
So my stepdad came into my life around 16, 17 but he was like my high
school history teacher first so we already had a rapport before he ever like met my mom
so like I really grew like fond of him before he was ever my stepdad so we had that like
background.
So you loved Roger?
I absolutely with all my heart.
Yes of course but.
That's not the case with Chloe. You loved Roger. I absolutely. Like a dad. With all my heart. Yes, of course.
That's not the case with Chloe.
No, but that's different.
You come into like also 13 is a very like tricky time for like any stepparent to get
into.
Yeah, it must've been weird.
Yeah.
But there wasn't like an initial like they didn't have a background.
Like I knew Roger, my stepdad, well before my mom did.
So there was.
Would Chris go to like if you had a sporting event?
Do you play sports in high school?
No, I did more like musicals and he would go. Oh you would go. Yeah, he would go. Oh, so that's good Yeah, and you would go
Right, yeah, and you could walk after after great job. Yeah. Yeah, except he has a French accent
Whoa, you did it wrong. Yeah again
Yeah, very good job Chloe. Something like that. No, I don't believe that. I don't think that's Chris. Chris is French.
What? Is he French? Yeah, he's French. What did I just sound like? German. Yeah, that's not German at all. They're trying again
No
Oh, dude, you're getting what's going on? So he did he came to your place
Yeah, Kristen. Yeah, he did. Do you call him for his birthday?
No, you know what? I realized what I don't have his number
I have his number. That answers the question.
Wow, that answers the question.
Thank you for that.
You don't have Chris's number at all?
No, I was looking for it in my phone on Father's Day.
I was like, oh, maybe I'll text him Happy Father's Day.
You never texted Chris on your Father's Day?
Wow, wow.
Are they still together?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Well, after this podcast, can you do me a favor?
Just call your mom and go, yo, can I get Chris's number?
And then just text Chris, go, hey, it's Chloe.
I just want to let you know I love you.
You know what that will do for him?
What will that do?
He would be so happy, no?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Does your brother, no? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Does your brother love Chris?
No.
Oh, no.
No, he never really...
Clicked with Chris?
No, never really talked to him much.
Your brother's younger though, too, right?
Yeah.
Wow.
Are you close with your brother?
Yeah, not really.
I mean, it's...
We don't really talk that much.
He lives in Florida, so we don't really talk that much. He lives like in
Florida, so we don't really see each other. Oh, a different country. Oh, so the time change, I don't get it.
Well, like, we just don't see each other because, like, I, if I go back to
Pennsylvania where I'm from for holidays, like, he doesn't always come back, so, like,
I don't always see him, and he doesn't want to come to LA. But I talk to him on
the phone. Oh you do?
Sometimes.
Yeah, you love Chris.
Not Chris, what's your brother's name?
His name is Evan.
You love Evan?
Yeah.
Okay good.
Yeah I love him.
Does he look like you?
No.
Oh, but biological brother right?
Yeah.
Full blood, full blood.
Wow, it's amazing.
What's so funny, anyone?
Okay, everything's fine, everything's fine.
This is too personal or no? No it's not. I's so funny? Anyone? Okay, everything's fine? Everything's fine?
This is too personal or no?
I feel like I'm being too personal.
I feel like I'm trying to picture
what kind of stepdad you would be
and if you would enjoy a role of being a stepdad
because you've dated single moms, right?
Yeah, I would try to be,
my goal would be for that kid to love me more than his biological dad.
But I think you go about it a little bit wrong.
I do it right.
No, he like, okay, Chloe, he opens with just a bunch of gifts and like spoils his shit out of them.
And they're very young, like they don't know the difference between like VIP Disneyland or regular.
I love Bombs. I love Bombs. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he like love bombs the kids.
And I'm like, I don't think that works long term
because kids don't understand like concept of like money.
But when they look back, they will understand.
So in retrospect, a kid would be like,
oh shit, he bought all the candy in the world for me.
What a great guy.
You know what I mean?
I have diabetes now, but whatever.
I think I would be a great stepdad.
I think you would be.
I wouldn't teach him much.
Like to bowl, I don't know how to do that.
I don't know anything about like geometry
or arithmetic, so I can't help with the schoolwork.
Yeah.
Are you good with math?
I'm really bad with math.
Yeah, how about history?
I don't think I remember most of it.
What do you mean? I mean you know vague history though.
Wait, in high school you were, um, you did the announcements, right?
Yeah, yeah.
What's the announcements?
Like every day when someone gives like the agenda for the week and what's happening and you know.
Like Sadie Hawkins dance.
You had the mic and did that.
Well it was like broadcasted on TV
Right also they saw your face. Mm-hmm. So how would you do it?
I'm in class. I'm in class. I would like read off of a prompter
Yeah, but anyway make improvise it. Um, I would be like
All right, so I might bunt some burners. I'm in science class
I would be like good morning. This is the burners. I'm in science class. Your buns and burners.
I would be like, good morning. This is the morning announcements.
I think I said something like that.
And then?
And then I would read off the screen and I would say like, if you, I don't even remember what we were talking about.
Yeah, it would be something about like a dance or if you're going on this field trip maybe.
All right. Can I try one? Because I've never done before.
Let her judge you.
Yeah, see if it's professional.
And I'm going to try it.
Do you know what's your name?
I don't know how they work.
Hi, this is Chloe.
Do you ever say that?
I don't remember.
I probably did though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, y'all.
Is that cool?
Yeah.
All right, so here we go.
Hey, y'all.
This is Bobby.
Good morning, guys.
So anyway, at noon, remember, the section of the cafeteria is closed
because we had a leak.
And so just be mindful about the tape,
so don't go beyond it.
And also, remember, Friday night,
it's, you know, we're playing the Panthers
for the football game.
So we all gotta turn up,
because our arrivals, yay, Chuck Knucks.
That's us. Yeah. Yay, Chuck Nucks. That's us.
Yeah.
Yay, Chuck Nucks.
Do the sound, croc, croc, croc.
You know what I mean?
That's our sound, right?
And then also, right, Chuck Nucks, right?
So also, guys, remember Mrs. Mulligan, right?
She's still in the hospital.
And we really appreciate the gifts you gave her last week.
You know what I mean?
Hey, but Tony Salazar, that was messed up.
You don't put razor blades in an apple.
Alright, because she almost bit into it.
And that, you know, there's authorities are on that.
Anyway, also, remember,
remember guys, it's also Juneteenth, so,
you know what I mean, remember, the slaves.
Remember the slaves, right?
And the Titans.
We love that movie.
Anyway, so, anyway, so,
anyway, have a good day,
study hard.
Wait, keep going.
I'll be so, oh yeah, keep going.
More announcements.
Oh yeah, more announcements.
Also, the blanket we're making, the HIV blanket.
Huh?
Yeah, we're making a gigantic,
there's only a small section that we've made so far, right?
And everyone's supposed to make a little section
of the blanket, and only Frank Dominguez
and Sally Struthers, Sally Struthers made a thing
and you know, HIV is still a thing, although
the cocktail has saved a lot of people
and that, God bless America.
What about lunch?
Oh, oh yeah.
Talk to the TV.
Yeah, yeah, oh you guys.
And for lunch today, what we got is,
we've got caviar. Yeah, yeah, we got Oh, you guys. What's wrong? And for lunch today, what we got is, we've got caviar.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we got caviar.
We also got the potato chips, caviar.
And what's the white stuff that comes with it?
I'm talking to you.
Crumb fresh.
Crumb fresh.
We have, for crumb fresh, from the local bakery.
I don't know why the bakery would have crumb fresh.
And then also we have salt and sour ice cream.
Wow, that's a fancy ass fucking school.
What school is this?
Go cut Chuck Knox.
And I don't even like that.
Jaime, you do one.
I did them in high school.
No, do it now.
Ready?
He actually did because he was in AV class.
I want you to make up at school everything, okay?
Okay, give me two seconds.
No, no, I'm not giving you two seconds.
Five, four.
And go.
Hey, what's up, to middle school.
You say Clark Kent.
Clark Kent, Clark Kent, middle school.
It's a minor glitch itself.
Yeah.
This is your boy, Mitchell,
with the morning announcements.
Lunch of the week is gonna be Salisbury steak
with chicken fingers on the side. On the side. Of the Salisbury steak with chicken fingers on the side.
On the side?
On the Salisbury.
That's a lot of meat.
That's a protein.
That's a lot of meat.
Remember fellas, the school dance is this weekend.
Bring out that special lady of yours and take her out for a-
I'm gay.
Take that special lady or dude out for a dance.
The winner ball this weekend, don't miss it. Be there.
Uh, Ms. Hillbilly is still in the hospital. He's still from, he's copying your format.
And this next weekend, we're going to beat the Chuck town tongue. What school? What school is yours? Chuck Nuts I think. Chuck Nuts middle school and let's go Clark Kent.
Clark Kent.
Clark Kent.
Oh that's good.
You know who Clark Kent is?
Yes.
Who is he?
Superman.
Okay good.
Very good.
Wow.
Anyway, his is not as good right?
No his was pretty good. Wow. Anyway, his is not as good, right? No, his was pretty good.
Hello.
How serious right now are you with your boyfriend, Chloe?
Pretty serious.
You're in love.
Yeah.
Live together?
No, but I'm always over at his house.
Oh, you are.
Yeah.
You like his house?
I do. I love it. Oh, that's cool.
Is he maybe a life partner, you think?
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
What do you think is like the appropriate,
is there a timeline in your head for when like,
people should move in together?
Cause like, I've lived with every single boy
since the age of 17 and I'm like,
oh fuck, I think I did that wrong.
Yeah, I've been thinking about it for the relationship I'm currently in. I think I want to wait like
another like nine months because that way it'll be like a year of dating and then I'll know if I really want to move in with them.
That's just what I think.
And would you move in with him? Would you guys going to a mutual place together? I would want like more room because we both just have like one bedroom apartment.
I'd want like more room.
Yeah.
Does he have dogs?
No, he has a cat.
He does.
One?
Yeah, just one.
That's a green flag.
Right?
Yeah.
You think a cat is a green flag?
Yes.
Oh, shit.
I'm green flagged all day.
Oh, yeah. What's a red flag animal? No animal is a red flag. I think a cat is a green flag. Yes. Oh shit, I'm green flagged all day, every day. Oh yeah.
What's a red flag animal?
No animal is a red flag.
I think so.
Yeah.
A rhino.
That's insane.
Or if he's like...
In the backyard.
Yeah, in an apartment, you know what I mean?
It's insane.
That's a red flag.
Or if he just like solely exotic pets.
Yeah. Oh right. Like that he had like solely exotic pets. Yeah. Alright.
Like that he had like really no feelings towards.
Yeah, if he like doesn't take care of his pets, that's a red flag.
Right, huge.
Because I think that's like my number one, well, top five virtue in someone.
It's like they have to be empathetic to animals or else like it's a non-starter.
Oh, you're like that too?
You have empathy for animals?
Yeah, who doesn't?
A lot of people don't.
Ted Bundy didn't.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure he didn't.
There really are a lot of people though
that are very just kind of like neutral about animals
and that to me is a red flag.
Yeah.
Like I need them to love their animals.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Especially if they own an animal.
Like you have to really love that animal. So So if you like you dated a guy and you watch and his dog
was like malnourished right? It'd be so sad. I'd report him immediately and I'd
dump him but there is something about like men with cats specifically though
like they tend to be like Marc Maron types like cerebral. Me too? You too actually. You're very much a cat guy. Yeah yeah yeah. I'm like Marlon
Brando. He's a cat guy. I think he's an everything guy. He's dolphins. Oh yeah.
That's right. That's right. That's right. Right. Oh that'd be cool to have a... if you dated a guy
and in his bathtub there was a dolphin. No. No? Okay. No?
Like a little one.
Are they little or no?
They don't really have little ones.
There are little ones?
I don't think so.
They're that little.
Or you can breed them down to be miniatures.
Maybe that'd be a cool thing.
What would you breed with a dolphin to make it a miniature?
You'd have to cross it with an animal.
Sardine.
Different species. One's a fish, one's a mammal.
Oh fuck, they're mammals.
I forgot, dude.
Holy shit, you're right.
A smaller mammal, right?
Yeah.
How about like a pygmy rat?
Okay, you're getting closer.
Yeah, that's not a mammal?
A rat?
Yeah.
Okay, what's close?
Something that can maybe swim a little bit better. Yeah. Okay. What's close something that can maybe have as a little can swim a little bit better
Platypus yes. Oh, no. No platypus is not beaver beaver otter. Okay otter. Okay fine otter
about this. He can close though. I can close. I shut you down. But Chloe if there was dolphins this big would you have one? No yeah definitely. You know there's a an alligator that's like this big that you can have. I looked into and I found a bunch of
websites you could buy them but I didn't buy one. They're not like Cayman? The Cayman alligator. Oh they are so cute.
Yeah but they're so dangerous to own.
How big are they?
I really wanted to get one.
When you get them, they're like this big.
They're really small, and then they grow to like this big.
And how dangerous are they?
They can like bite your hand off.
Why would you want one?
But then I was like-
That's why I didn't get it, but I wanted one.
Or you plucked their fucking teeth out.
Do you okay?
That would feel not bad.
That decline cats?
That's so messed up.
And you give them porridge.
No, but I was like, lately, like I've been seeing
these videos of these men in like Florida or in that area
and they're like petting their gators, like your pets.
And I find it so cute.
Or I'm like, maybe there is some level of like recognition
with their like owners.
Yeah, I had like an alligator phase where I was watching a lot of alligator videos a year ago.
I love alligator faces. I go through many of them.
And yeah, I saw a lot of videos of alligators that were really kind and nice and would be nice. And
their owner would walk them around on a leash and stuff.
Yeah, but with alligators
You don't know when they're gonna turn
Yeah
Well in theory that would make sense because people do that with like iguanas, right?
Like they have pet iguanas and their iguanas like sleep with them sleep on their chest. They walk the iguanas
So reptile reptile. I mean, I think that's possible. Yeah. Yeah. Also, they're not, I like fur.
I'm sorry.
That's my bad.
Would you ever buy a panda?
Why panda, dude?
When you looked at me, why panda?
No, because dolphin, the alligator, small.
I just thought of baby pandas.
Whoa, dude.
Got to think, aren't you?
What about red panda?
Have you seen those?
No, I have not.
Those are cute. Yeah.
Chloe, if you was a part of our government,
would you okay cross-breeding humans with animals?
No.
Why wouldn't you be okay with that?
Let's say we're scientists.
I just think it sounds really dangerous
and it wouldn't be comfortable
for whatever you're
creating don't you think like they wouldn't feel good to be alive oh yeah
this is my friend Jerry he's also a hawk bye Jerry it flies in the air what the
fuck you're talking about amazing yeah but what if it didn't like go right oh
right he doesn't get the wings he just gets the beak and then a fucking party
and he's got this beak.
Now that's crazy, you're right.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you're right, if it doesn't go right, if you get the right.
So you don't think, how about this, cloning humans?
We're scientists.
Ooh, you want to close out humans?
I think I would clone some humans, yeah.
Who would you clone?
Okay, let's say, okay, I want this, okay.
Would you clone yourself?
Yeah. For the future.
Yeah.
And would you want a clone already your age
or someone younger who you can watch grow up?
I think I would want one that's like younger than me
that I could see, you know, how they do living
in a different time, you know?
Okay, and would there be some level of envy?
Like what if they are superior in a lot of things?
You felt inferior.
Yeah, I bet they would be, you know?
And I think that there probably would be envy,
but I don't know, how would it like,
how would you interact with like your clone?
Would the clone know that it's also you?
Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, okay, so if I were out in the wild, right, and I ran into
someone that looked exactly like me, who could be my twin, potentially like, what's that show,
Black Orphan? And where I'm like, oh my god, like, this is me, the mannerisms are like me,
I would feel really threatened immediately. You'd kill it.
I would, we would, yeah, I would throw hands. Yeah.
immediately. You'd kill it. I would throw hands. I would give my baby, I would clone myself as a baby, erase it like my own, and I would give it, provide
it things that I didn't get. Like in television, it was like the
new, back in the day, you know, my parents wouldn't give me that, you know
what I mean? But I also would give them love, no abuse,
and also encouragement.
Yeah, yeah, arts and crafts, let's do it,
you know what I mean?
And I would, you know, I would give,
and this is see what would turn out.
I think that I would turn,
I would have turned out a lot different
if I just had other things like, you know,
love and support and all those kind of things,
don't you think? You think you'd be just as funny that's another interesting
that's another interesting thing you know I mean and then what if I was mad
that it wasn't funny like son that wasn't funny then you start getting
abusive yeah then you get abusive yeah I get abusive because of that right yeah
I mean yeah um you haven't heard you fart in years what I call it Bobby if
you had a daughter you would you name it the same?
If I had a daughter, would I?
It was you though.
You're raising your clone.
Would you name it Chloe?
No.
Give me a name.
I don't know.
What would you give it?
Like Apple, like something weird.
I love Apple.
I want to do a fruit.
What would yours be? Pomegranate. Well want to do a fruit. Yeah. Yeah. What would yours be?
Ponte grammet. Ponte grammet. Oh. Well, say it right first.
Oh, what? Pomegranate. Yeah, there we go. What did I say before? Ponte grammet.
Ponte grammet. That's better even. I like that. Ponte grammet. Ponte grammet.
Yeah. What would you name your son? That was you. James.
What? James. Because that's your name. No, my name is Jaime.
Oh, okay.
I see you would just English it up.
Western. Yeah, yeah.
What would you do with it?
I'd clone myself when I was 18.
Oh, why? That age.
Can we go back in time or?
Yeah, you have the choice to either.
Wait, you understand how cloning works, right?
We're not doing time travel.
Okay.
Yeah, we're doing cloning.
Oh, it's because I wanted to go back to him when I was 18, but...
Yeah, that's not what we're talking about.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Me too! Alright, man. I would love to go back to when I was 18.
Yeah, I would love to go back.
Oh, so what you're saying to me, what your dream is, what you know now to put yourself into your 18 year old self, right?
And then what would you have done different?
So many refried beans?
I even said it wrong.
No.
I said brains.
Something's wrong with me today, I can't speak.
Sorry, on my bad.
I will go back to my 18th summer
to have the chance to sleep with my sister's friends.
Oh, thank God he said friends.
If it was a pause, you would have been uncomfortable.
Yeah, my sister came on to me and I was too scared and I just ran away.
Wait, your sister's... that's the one thing that you miss?
That would have been my first time. That's the only time you would go back just for that?
Because how long did you have to wait after that? Until I was 22.
So like four years? Yeah
Yeah, but what's the difference she was good? I mean she was good-looking. Oh, she was yeah, okay So you missed a chance the one that got away the one got out. I got away. Yeah, I'll tell you what I'd go back
When I was I was dating Sarah yeah, and I um I should have broken up with her
Because I was invited to this Asian one of the Asian sex party mm-hmm getting Sarah and I should have broken up with her
because I was invited to this Asian, one of the Asian sex party.
And I wish I was single then.
I, yeah, I do remember.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Invited to a, and I sat there with my jeans watching,
eating a, what was it, a banana dipped,
chocolate dipped banana.
At a sex party?
You brought that to a sex party?
Yeah, I went to Carni's, right?
Oh, that's right, Carni's is right there.
Yeah, Carni's, and I had the chocolate dipped banana,
and I was eating it, right?
And they were, like, everyone was having sex,
and it was so hard, and I just kind of got up,
and I just left, I ran out of there, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
But anyway, maybe do that again.
So, you weren't gonna go to the sex party of sex
just to watch you went?
No, see, this is what happened. I did a show at the Comedy Store. I went to
the Carnies which is nearby. I got a chocolate dip, a bit dip, I can't even say it, chocolate
dip banana, right? I was walking down with it, right? It's pretty frozen solid. Yeah.
I just got the tip. I was nibbling on the tip. And then there was about 60 to 70
Asians outside at the time.
Right now it's an Andes, but there was.
The Andes. Yeah, yeah.
It was used to be a Hilton.
Was it a Hilton or a Hyatt?
It was a Hyatt. Yeah.
And they were all dressed in white.
This is like 1.30 in the morning, okay?
And at the time I was on Mad TV, so I was like,
you know what I mean?
One of the only guys on TV that were Asian,
and they were all Asian, it was an Asian sex party,
and they all surrounded me in their white.
They go, son, come up.
I go, what's going on up there?
They go, we're a sex club.
I go, thank you, I'll come.
Right, and I was sitting there, eating the thing,
two girls were making love on a bed, right?
And I'm a wreck, like crazy, you know what I mean?
Like pulsating.
I'm eating the chocolate, and then I see them whisper
into each other's ears and look at me.
And that's when my heart started beating.
I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
They both get up and they start kissing my neck.
Right?
And you were still eating the banana.
Yeah, I'm like halfway doing the banana.
It's like gripping down my hand. Right. And I'm going I got up and I literally sprinted
out of there. Because I don't know I've never cheated on anybody. That's nice. No never.
You've never cheated on anybody. No never. Wow. How many relationships have you been
in? Like as an adult three. And those are like four? They were big
ones? Yeah. Like committed relationships? Yeah. Yeah yeah. And have you ever been
cheated on? Yeah. And you found out? Yeah. You cry? Yeah I think so. Yeah. Did it come out of the
blue or was it like? I don't remember I just remember he cheated on me like
different times. I don't remember how I found out the first time.
Are you someone that like, when you have a suspicion,
you go search for more clues, like go through his phone?
Yeah, I remember at the time with this guy,
when I was dating him,
it was back when Instagram showed you like other people,
like there was like the tab where you could see
where other people commented and liked things.
And I would see him like comment and like things. And also he was like the tab where you could see where other people commented and liked things and I would see him like
Comment and like things and also he was like an artist and he would always like draw
And this is like a weird way to like find out somebody's cheating
But like he was an artist and he would always like draw these other women and like he would like cheat on me that way
But like having girls over to like be like, oh, I'm gonna like draw her
His job it's his job.
It's his job, yeah.
And to do a real good painting,
you gotta make love to them.
And then how did you,
how did you eventually like find out for sure?
I don't even remember exactly how I found out at first.
I remember there was this one point
where this girl like hit me up and she was like,
hey, he keeps texting me weird.
And he like did it a lot.
But you had already caught him one time.
Yeah.
And you stayed with him.
Yeah.
Can I just ask, I'm sorry.
And guys like me and Jaime wanna know, right?
Cause we're the same kind of human, right?
Why do you guys keep going?
What?
Why do they keep staying?
Is that what you're gonna say?
We'll never know. We'll never know, dude. Oh, okay. Why do they keep staying? Is that what you're gonna say? We'll never know. We'll never know, dude.
Oh, okay. Why do they keep staying? Staying. Like, have you been, have you caught a
boyfriend in cheating and then you stayed in the relationship? I might have,
like, we got probably gotten back together once for like a couple months,
but then I woke up to the fact that the cheating was actually just,
was not the worst part about him.
What was it?
Everything else.
Like he was like a full blast.
Like to this day, like if I saw this person on the street,
like I'd punch him in the dick.
I know what it is.
I remember him too.
I hate him with a fury.
I think he is such a con man.
He's a con man.
And to this day, like I just see him still like conning people
And it's so gross and yeah, it's just like when you're a narcissist will never my con man. No, you're not your sweet
I'm a sweetie pie. Yeah
Yeah, why'd you stay Chloe? I?
Think I was just I like thought that I just like loved him so much
I always thought I was like young at the time.
I was like 19, 20 and like, I thought things would like
get better or something.
I don't know.
I thought he would change.
Yeah.
Do you hate him now or do you don't even think about it?
No, we're still friends actually.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, you seem like you're friends with all your exes.
I'm friends with all my exes.
Not all my exes.
Some of them I like, we broke up
and I just would delete their number
or block their number and just never talk to them again.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's very like, that shouldn't be like a blanket rule.
Like I wanna be friends with all my exes.
That's a red flag for me.
You should hate at least a couple of your exes.
Totally.
You can't be buddy buddy with all of your exes.
Well I'm not, I know, but the thing is,
it's not that I'm friends, but if I,
I'm not like friends with them,
but I mean, I don't hate them.
So if I, like I was at the airport,
and I saw, and she was a great girlfriend, Christine.
Yeah.
And she has the most beautiful baby,
and the most beautiful husband.
In fact, I'm almost glad I broke up with her
so she could find the real people.
But here's the thing with you, you've never been dumped.
You were always the one doing the dumping, right?
Like ours might've been the first mutual one,
but previous to that, like he's always the one who leaves.
So maybe there's something to that like
where no you know what I'm like I'm like it's like a caged bird and I go fly yeah
that's what I'm doing and Christine flew and now she has the most beautiful baby
most beautiful husband and I ran into him at the LAX and we all stopped we all
looked at each other and I hugged the guy, I hugged her,
I went to the baby, I went beep, you know what I mean?
On his nose.
And the baby goes whap, and right I go beep, like that,
right, and then I go, I'm so happy for you.
That's so cute.
And I look like a disaster, you know what I mean?
I had a shitty gig, I was like, my eye was shut
because I had just woken up, I looked,
I had her, you know what I mean, it was bad.
Your one eye does get sticky.
Yeah, I know, I wake up like this. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was bad. Your one eye does get sticky. Yeah, I know. I wake up like this.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But, so, but I'm not,
it's not like I would call her on her birthday,
but I'm still friendly.
Is that what you're saying?
No, but what I'm saying is like,
there are people that are really proud of the fact that like,
oh, I'm friends with all of my exes
and they constantly like seek out their exes
as like a way to be like, look what
a great guy I am.
And I feel like that's super dangerous because it's like, all right, you care more about
how you're perceived rather than, you know, they want to create this image of like, oh
yeah, look, you know, it's amicable and no girls really hate me.
It's like, no, that's weird.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, you agree with. Yeah, totally.
Yeah, you agree with that?
I totally agree to be friends with all of your exes,
especially if you're like,
like, I don't know, there was a time in my life
where like, you know, the ex that cheated on me
was like my only ex in my adult life that I had like in LA.
But then like once you get older and you have more exes,
it's weird to be friends with all of them.
Yeah. You should have at least one you wanna punch ines, it's weird to be friends with all of them. Yeah.
You should have at least one you wanna punch in the dick.
Okay, let me think if I have any.
No. No.
Chloe, look at me.
Do you think about God?
No, no I don't think about God.
Wait, what happens do you think when we die?
I don't know, I don't think that's something
that I'll ever know at any point.
You will die. Yeah.
Do you know that? Yeah.
Okay. I know Okay. And you think
after that nothing happens? No, I don't think nothing happens. I just don't think
I will know until I die. Yeah, but do you have a feeling about it? Like maybe this
happened. I feel like maybe there's just nothing. Like there's no... That's so sad. Yeah. That brings me more
comfort, okay, because what's worse is thinking that you have an expectation for how death will go and then you actually die and you're like, oh, this is not what I thought at all.
This is actually this is nothing. There's nothing. Yeah. So like, it's better to have no expectations around what's going to happen.
No, it's like what do you think? Ram Dass.
Because death is like taking off a tight shoe. I feel like it's gonna be like.
Yeah, but even Ram Dass didn't know until he died. How does he know?
Because what he witnessed death?
He witnessed death so many times.
Because he, you know, toward the end of his life,
he requested to be around people that died.
Okay, so my-
So he could be there next to them.
My mom is a hospice nurse, so she put people down
in their final days, a lot of young, terminal people,
and she'll tell you some of those didn't feel like
taking off a tight shoe.
They were choking on their blood, gurgling.
No, that's before.
No, I'm saying.
That's before.
I'm just saying.
The gurgle is before.
I mean, the blood, I mean, that's before.
What I'm saying is-
That's such a thing as death rattles.
All I'm saying is- Death rattles are before. No, what I'm saying to you is, I mean, that's before. What I'm saying is. Not such a thing as death rattles. All I'm saying is.
Death rattles are before.
No, what I'm saying to you is, I'm sorry for yelling.
I'm sorry.
What I'm saying to you right now is that
just the actual death, not the gurgling and the trembling
and the oh my god, I'm drowning, you know what I mean?
That part is the actual you being released and you dying.
I think there's a relief in taking off a tight shirt.
What do you think, Chloe? Yeah, I think there's a relief in taking off a tight shirt. What do you think, Chloe?
Yeah, I think once you actually are dead,
it probably is.
God damn it.
We see it, think alike.
We're really good together, I think.
Yeah, we're a good team.
I like the idea of fucking nothing.
Totally.
That's very punk rock.
All right, it's just, because it kind of forces you to
really like live it up.
It's like, all right, guys, there's nothing after this.
Let's like really live it big.
You know, that's so interesting because, and that's my argument with very religious people,
is usually when I see religious people, they're not, but when I see religious people, it's like, you know,
I go, I just think they'd be more successful
if they didn't believe.
No, because here's what it is.
I think at the end of the day, in my mind,
since I don't know, I go, oh, I gotta do all this shit now,
you know what I mean?
And so it's like, I've always been like,
also I can foresee into the future,
so it's like, in this way, okay, check this out. When I was 22 years old, I really foreseen, saw myself in the future. So it's like in this way, okay check this out.
When I was 22 years old, I really foresee,
saw myself in the future and go,
oh I'm not gonna make any money
and I'm not ever gonna get laid.
So my mind is like, what do I do right now
so that in 10 years down the road
I could provide myself with stability in that way?
So I kind of just took crazy risks, you
know what I mean? Because I could foresee... what are you looking at, man? I'm paying
attention. What did I just say? I feel like you weren't listening to me. What was I just
saying? I was. What did I say? You were foreseeing yourself 20, 10 years from now. When you were 22.
Yeah. Very good. Let's go back to the program, okay? This is that I think maybe
you're right. I think nothingness, maybe.
But that's what I definitely think.
Yeah, but also it's like, it's not just religion, right?
Like you go through your life being evangelical
at least about one thing.
Yours is standup comedy.
Like it doesn't have to be in the form of like a higher power
or like God that you have, like you throw your faith in.
I think you two don't see the magic of life.
I did not see that's what I was going to say.
No, stop, let me finish, okay?
You guys don't see the true magic of life.
What is the true magic of life?
You don't believe in the miracle.
You don't even step outside your home.
Doesn't matter, I believe in the miracle.
What's the miracle?
The miracle is I know that I believe that everything
in my life is there for a reason.
I really believe this.
Then why are you so deeply unhappy?
I'm so happy, oh you fucking out of your mind.
I'm Mr. Joy right now, dude, look at me.
You come over to my house, you're like, I'm so depressed.
When they're trying to cancel me online.
When they're trying to cancel me, yeah,
there was a time where they were trying to cancel me,
I got all depressed.
Keep that in, I don't care. Keep that in, right. But then it's like, then I could do the work.
Right. And now I'm back to joy, dude. Yeah. Okay. I love that. I think you,
here's where I think the magic lies. I think magic lies in sheer coincidence and spontaneity. I think
that the world exists in like this. There's no pattern. It's just a mad, chaotic life we live
and great things happen between that.
And I find...
You're not magic people!
But I don't think, I don't believe in destiny or fate.
No, it's like whatever is in front of me,
it's because it's random.
Yes.
And I think...
Mace ears.
The magic is...
You've always had them.
No, it doesn't.
It's throughout society, mace ears, right?
George, are you a magic man?
Heck yeah.
Fuck yeah, how about you, Gilbert?
Miracle worker.
You're a miracle, how about you, Alex. Fuck yeah. How about you, Gilbert?
Miracle worker.
You're a miracle.
How about you, Alex?
Magic man.
What about you, Jaime?
Yes, sir.
Sawyer.
Magic.
Two unmagics here.
No, don't.
If you do that again.
It's kind of cool.
That was nine times you did this fucking I don't care, right?
I don't care either, okay?
What is your life?
Tell me about magic.
About magic?
Yeah. I used to go to church,
yeah, Catholic. Is that magic? No, please. Yeah, yeah, Catholic. But how is that the application of it in your life? I do have fate and destiny.
Okay, give me a specific. I like these short answers though. Give me a specific incident.
Because I even know one of you that I could probably say is Ralph Boboza brought you here.
You came here just as his friend. Just out of a weird situation that day you did the mic we liked you
and now you how many times have you done tiger belly five five or six times
right yeah and it we love you here but I feel like you're you know that this is a
step up maybe for you is it yes yeah another opportunity why can't you view that as magic? That's what I'm saying. That is magic. Okay.
What?
Magic.
That's how magic works.
No, I work my crystal ball.
I'm communicating with your crystal ball.
Do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you think Jaime is meant to be? Jaime here is meant to be.
I think I was meant to meet Jaime.
I was meant to meet Jaime.
Oh.
I was meant to meet Jaime.
I was meant to meet Jaime,
and I think that I'm in his life for a reason,
he's in my life for a reason,
I think we're all,
and now my therapist does not believe that.
Yeah.
She doesn't believe that.
Because she's a smart lady.
Do you want to promote anything Chloe?
I was at Tribeca.
Oh you were at Tribeca.
Tribeca and my film, The French Italian, premiered there.
And we're hoping to have a theater run probably
like top of 2025.
But we premiered at Tribeca.
I actually don't know if there's a way you can watch it now.
Not until it gets distributed, but I saw it.
It was a great movie. So, Cat Cohen, Catherine Cohen, she's a comedian, and
Aristotle Tharey, they're both comedians.
Yeah, we know Aristotle.
Yeah, they're the leads.
I don't know Aristotle.
There's me.
Was he great?
Yeah, yeah.
I love Aristotle so much.
That's the poster for him.
Wow, amazing.
But then they move out of their rent control apartment and they decide to seek revenge
on the annoying neighbor me.
Yeah.
And it's pretty funny.
Is it funny?
Honestly.
You like it?
It's funny, honestly.
Oh, good.
I think it's funny, yeah.
That's awesome.
And when you're watching yourself on the big screen, are you self- are you self-conscious or you're like, oh I'm doing a good job?
I, at first I was like really self-conscious. Sometimes it's hard for me to like see myself on screen.
On the same way, yeah.
But then watching it, I was like kind of impressed that I could do something like that.
I love that. I love that. I love that.
Wait, was Euphoria your first big acting gig?
You were just thrust into that.
That's incredible to be part of something that massive,
for your first acting gig is crazy.
Yeah, it was crazy.
Look at that cast.
And there's the cast, everyone's great.
That's amazing.
That's fucking amazing. Congratulations, Chloe.
And then, so that's the direction.
You want to be an actor.
You are an actor, but you want to do more.
Yeah, I want to do more acting.
Are you looking for more,
I know you've done a bunch of indie films,
and what are you most drawn to?
I mean, I'm most drawn to like I like acting so
much that like it's pretty much anything that's like an interesting script whether
it's indie or whatever you know anything that's a good script. Wow so you've
turned some things down. Some things yeah I recently turned something down. Yeah I
say yes to everything it's so dumb. Yeah but you like oddly say like no to like some really great things where Gilbert and I are
like you can't say no to that. But then I eventually do them. Yeah, you eventually do them. Well then there we go.
I'm just saying what you're saying. Do you have any questions Jaime? For Chloe, yeah. Hey what's your name? Chloe? Yep.
Cherry. Exactly. Okay. What are your thoughts on Freddie Mercury? I think he seemed great.
He did it right.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that was good. That was a good thought.
Keep going.
No, no, that's good.
No, no.
Oh, I love Euphoria, of course.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Were you a big Euphoria fan, Jaime?
I'm still, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah. I'm still, yeah. That's good. Season two was a good season.
Season two was a great season.
Oh, great. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Did you watch that's good. Season two was a good season. Season two was a great season. Oh, great, thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah. Did you watch it before you?
No, man.
Did you watch it?
It's a good show.
I will not.
Fine.
I think it's a generational show.
No, it's not.
I mean, you're absolutely wrong there.
My stepdad in his seventies and my mom in her sixties.
Like it?
Yes.
Yeah, like my mom and her stepdad,
and my stepdad liked it.
And they saw you, what did they call you and go,
congratulations sweetie?
Yeah, yeah, that's pretty much.
Yeah, Chris, the one that you don't love?
Chris.
Chris, the one that loves you so much, right?
Calls you and goes, congratulations sweetie,
and you won't fucking call him for Father's Day?
That guy?
You piece of shit.
Well, it's more like I just see him in person.
Okay, here's, can you just do me a favor for me?
Call him right now.
Call Chris later today and just tell him,
you know, I'd never tell you this,
but Chris, but thank you for raising me and I love you.
I'll consider it.
I'm trying to get you to live in the magic.
And a part of the magic is to do this.
Is to be mindful about people's feelings.
You don't think I am?
I am.
This persona, you know what I mean?
Tiger Bell's persona is just not who I generally am.
This is not who I am as, all right.
What do you, guys, speak your mind.
When I snap my fingers, I want you to turn off the persona
and then talk to Klaue, five, four, three, two.
Hey, can you do the laundry for me?
See, you know what I mean?
It's a different guy.
French Italian.
The French Italian.
Sorry, sorry.
So you said 2025?
That's like when they were saying they wanted
2025.
What?
Yeah, that's when they said they wanted to be in theater.
Oh, that's gonna be great.
The poster looks great.
The poster looks good.
I love Aristotle, okay?
And I love you now.
So I hope it does well.
And I hope you,
I hope maybe one day you and I do a project together.
Would that be fun?
That would be fun.
Yeah, yeah.
I can see it now.
Magic, life, the good times.
That's what it's called.
Magic, life, the good times?
Yeah, yeah, what do you think?
It sounds very like Yorgos Lanthimos title.
Yeah.
Magic, life, the good times, right?
And it's all about death.
What do you think?
Yeah. You and I are- It's about there being nothing about death. What do you think?
Yeah, you and I are. It's about there being nothing after death.
Yeah, oh maybe you and I are in hospice.
Or you play her stepdad, Chris.
Oh yeah, I'm Chris.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.
The Asian stepdad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Asian stepdad Chris, right?
You're dying, right?
I'm next to you, right?
And it's like one of the lines is like, you know I as you you like a daughter. I always have it's a shame that you don't love
Something like that and then she died. Oh and maybe in the afterlife you guys can start from scratch and like
And like yeah, I thought there was nothingness. Oh, that's right
Yeah, there's no good movies over there no part two it's over. Yeah. Oh, that's right. There is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The movie's over. There's no part two. It's over.
It's just dark.
You're black. What?
I mean, it could be a sequel. You never know.
Magic.
Reboots.
Prequel. Yeah, maybe a prequel.
Prequel, yeah.
Anyway.
Thank you you everybody. Thank you for watching!