TigerBelly - Dane Cook & The Bobby Burp

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

Dane cook joins us for a 2nd time. 

Yo yo, you ever see Kung Fu Hustle? Yes. You did? Kung Fu Hustle? Yeah. Mike, Mike. I'm trying to remember. What?

I'm trying to remember what it was. What do you mean? I've seen it before. I'm trying to remember what it was. It's like, like like outlandish like call it karate moves right yeah yeah yeah yeah well that's close but that's all you remember outlandish karate moves yeah like just bizarre bizarre yeah yeah yeah I like the movie okay good it like if you were you were if you're gonna

suggest a movie to me what would I I watch? Jaime. The Outsiders? Never heard of it. Tell me what is that about? Tom Cruise. Rob Loy. Rob Loy? No, but Rob Loy, no, no, no. Rob Loy, when he's younger or older?

Younger. Younger. I love Rob Loy. What else have you seen Robloy in? Parks and Recreation. Pranks. Parks and Recreation. So that's all he did in his career? Is Outsiders, Robloy, and then Parks and Rec?

And Tommy Boy. And Tommy Boy. That's it. Yeah, that's a pretty good chunk of... Yeah. Great. Who else is in the Out? The Outsiders? A young Ralph Mac yeah. A young Ralph Macchio. A young Ralph Macchio. Can you explain to me what outsiders are about?

About the greasers. Have you seen it? No. What do you mean like in? Like the grease, you know, the white boys. Like a gang? Like the actual, like petroleum? No, like grease, like the greasers. They have grease in them. So there's like a Middle East, Middle East, no they're Middle Eastern, they deal with petroleum and oil. It's just somewhere in California. It's in California. I think so.

Okay, so there's people that work with petroleum in California. So it's a group of young men. A young man and they work for oil rigs. No, they're just calling themselves greasers because they're poor. Oh, they're poor. Poor. Okay. And then one of them kills one of the frat boys. They're called the frat boys? I think so. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting. You should watch it. Oh, they're not called the Sochas? I don't know. Yeah, that they are. Yeah. Okay. How old are you?

Wait, wait. Are you mesmerized by him right now? You're wise. How old are you? What's the outside? Yeah, I know. You've been around for thousands of years. Because he looks the youngest around.

He is the youngest. He's your age. How old are you? 22. I'm not 22. What are you? 28. Damn.

You look young. I don't stress this way. Well, also you haven't fully. And you'll get there. Development. I won't. You don't think you have development issues I think I just smoke a lot so yeah yeah did you smoke before this no okay good are you lying

to me no okay I don't think you have development issues but do you get straight A's no I didn't yeah I was in special ed so are you being real yeah yeah I'd be honest wow Bobby What do you think special ed is? What? Okay. Let's go with this first. What do you mean? It's a teacher, his name is Ed and he has special powers. Obviously. Yeah, yeah. Or Ed, the teacher has Down syndrome, has Down syndrome. No, what is special ed? Tell me. Special ed is like... education special education, right? And so what what did you use a deficiency in your mind? What is it? I was in ESL. I was in speech therapy and you stuttered yeah, okay, I started with my arms and

dyslexia Really yeah, did you have to ride a smaller bus or not? No, no. Okay. With regular people. What? Did you not know that? Like back in the day, no I'm I swear to God. Right? They do that now though, right? They don't do it now but I'm just telling it was just an old joke but um back in the day they you would have a traditional school bus for just you know I won't let me dance around this for um average. Normal? No, no, no, don't say normal. Don't say normal. Different. school bus for just you know and when let me dance around this for um average normal no no no no no no no no no no no no different different different

different people you mean well we have the we have control over all of our facilities is that no that's that's simply and then there are people that are special ed and they would get picked up by a different bus. A school bus, it's a shorter school bus. And some of the kids, and I don't know, made the rules, but they wore helmets. Okay. They did, they were helmets.

And there was like special bars, right? Padding and stuff. Yeah, did you ride that? No, I did not. Okay, how'd you get to school? I rode the regular bus like with everybody else. But then you said bye guys, you're friends and you went to a different class? No, we went like in the same class but we had a teacher aide come, yeah, she gets it. Oh, so that's how they do it now. You know, they don't put you in a different class, they just give you like an extra teacher. Yeah. Just for you specifically. For me and like a couple of students. So they

come out and say, okay, so Jaime, stop drooling. And then they put a tap pat. No, I never do. And they take a little napkin and they go, okay, breathe, right, right. And they put medication so you don't start convulsing. And then they, and then they kind of go through it with you. Yeah. They take your hand, you put it in the braille. No, no. The braille thing. I'm not blind. He's not blind. Bobby, I don't know.

I don't know how it works. I don't know. I don't know how it works. I don't know how it works. I've never been there. I'm so sorry. You didn't have friends growing up, right? I had friends.

Oh. Well, yeah, I did have friends. I did have friends. What, that was an attack? Go ahead. You can close this show. Look at Jules, she's shocked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I had friends. Oh, wow. I did have friends. I did have friends. What? That was an attack? Go ahead. You can close this show.

Look at Jules. She's shocked. Yeah. Yeah, I had friends going. I had a lot of friends going up. Yeah. Me too. Yeah.

And what was that attack for? No. Well, I mean, why would you ask me that? No, I was just saying because you didn't know much about special education. I just didn't have friends that were in that. Oh, okay. Yeah. I had whatever, you know, the average ones.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? I mean, is that a good way to say it? I think it's great. Yeah, they had like... Jules, did you have this in the Philippines, what he's describing? You've heard Philippines? Yeah, like every year there's always like someone and then he or she is always just in the class and then... Well, like just tell me something that they would have, what disability would they have or... Someone and then he or she is always just in the class and then well

What like just tell me something that they would have what disability would they have or I don't well? like either like Something no tell me And you know what we're not gonna get drunk because you're just telling the truth, so I don't know what I don't know Yeah, yeah, just explain. I don't know the thing but like Was there like a yeah, it was our twitch ever. Yeah, let me ask you questions. Oh god. Is there a twitch? Oh god Yeah, there's a twitch. Right? Yeah, the last um classmate I had um, he couldn't talk properly Okay, give me can you get a example or example like I just did that. Yeah like that. Yeah I said it couldn't give it a second. So didn't speak properly he didn't speak properly until I go

beside up beside yeah and so what yeah and then would you make fun of him or no no no yeah yeah we I was really close with the guy yeah yeah okay what would you talk to him about usually he talks about his toys or like his... I wish you would have said his toes. That would have been fun. He talked about his toes. And sometimes his pinky but... Why are you laughing, Gilbert? I'm sick. So hot. Oh, you don't wear headphones?

No, no, you don't have to wear it. I'm just saying. Do you wear them? No, I'm okay. Four years. You've been in the country four years? Yeah. Do you like it? Are you a Dane Cook fan?

Yeah. Okay, be respectful, he's here. I know. Don't be nervous, are you nervous? A little bit, yeah. Why? I don't know, it's Dane Cook. I know, but you get nervous.

I get nervous anytime. Every guest, you get nervous? Yeah, I think everybody gets nervous. Yeah, I'm not nervous. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm scared. You're not scared? I'm scared. Why guest you get nervous? Yeah, I think everybody gets nervous. Yeah, I'm not nervous. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm scared. You're not scared? I'm scared.

Why are you so scared? Because I don't know him. You're gonna know him now. You both have to have like three good questions throughout the podcast. Yeah, yeah, and maybe we'll do a little quiz show, who knows? Who knows what will happen, you know what I mean?

Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe we'll do a quiz show or whatever. Hey! Whoa, I don't know where your shorts, shorts. I see you wear shorts do it. I couldn't do it today with the jeans All right, it's so hard. You know me when people think of Dane Cook. They think of jeans I was thinking jeans all day, dude Nice to see you brother. How was that? That's the Bobby Lee hug. Hi, how are you? Nice to see you. Great to see you. Hi, what's up dude? Let's go in.

That was so weird. Yeah, I know, I know. Fuck! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hold on. Yeah. All right, cool. So, Jane, I was asking them just real quick about...

I'm sorry. Hi. Don't be sorry. Well, they don't know... Am I in the right place? Am I okay? Yeah, you're doing it. But they don't know...

Do I, should I I what do you think? Really good mood today, you know what I love it dude, bro. I'm happy I want to be in there. Am I like the Whitney Cummins light? When Whitney comes in did you bring her own lighting people? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because her lighting is unlike any other lighting I've ever seen here. Give me this give me this. I'll put him on. I guess. But I want the Whitney Cummins light. Yeah. So explain it to them back in our day in high school. Can I finish my little thing about the Whitney Cummins? Yeah, go ahead. You'll cut it. Just cut the whole thing. Do your bit. You know what? Let's start the bit over.

It's like a bit. Yeah, it's a bit. Do the bit over. Okay, let me. I'm gonna go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come in again. Is it good? I didn't like the way you came in. Okay, hold on. You came in weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come in. Jaime, fist bump him. Fist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good I didn't like the way you came in Okay, you came in weird. Yeah. Yeah coming Jaime fist bump him fist bump. Yeah, they're really commit It's so good Do it again, I know exactly exactly I'm in the Whitney Cummins life. Yeah. Yeah. Right? You guys cut that part out, the Whitney. Okay, we can.

We're gonna cut all the, Yeah, you can. Can I say what I wanted to say? Yeah, go ahead. Because every time I see Whitney, what I realize, she always looks like it's, you know those sci-fi movies where like a transmission comes through space like a thousand years after

that society has now become defunct? That's how. No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, they hit the button and it's like the person's on the screen and they're like, I'm the last survivor of the USS Nespresso. Oh, I love when that happens.

And it's kind of like that nice little group of people. I love when that happens, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sort of like, we're not using this anyway. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is it the same as like a derelict ship sometimes? Fucking bombed, it doesn't matter. They did. I knew when I looked at you, she was like, cut the cord. as like a derelict ship sometimes? Fucking bombed, it doesn't matter. They did. I knew when I looked at you, she was like, cut the cord.

So in Star Trek, in Star Trek Next Generation, sometimes they run into a derelict ship, right? That's like a thousand years old. And then there's like the one last transmission from whoever the captain was on the ship. That's right. Because this is a colonial master, King Kunkaiya. Right, right, right.

Anyway. Okay, it doesn't matter. What matters is we're back together Yes nervous coming over here, too Yeah, it was how it reminded me how I felt when I used to do Kimmel when I would do Kimmel a lot But look at what he's doing guys. I what yeah, I'm just higher level dude What do you little fucking internet show? No it is not. It's Wayne's world, dude. Are you kidding me? It's making an impact you guys are you know what zeitgeisting means they don't know much Dane Dane they don't want that's why you're here to teach they know my

legacy they have been ready yeah I mean so let's let's get into it so hi May that's me yeah yeah that's him right tell me what you know about Dan Cook oh boy oh man yeah go I seen good luck Chuck that's right yeah my favorite movie employee of the month okay that's two for two very good I've done a lot of other stuff yeah okay yeah that's the shocker what does that I did the Sufi but that was the shocker the shocker yeah and then that okay but you get the shocker. What does that I did the Sufi but that was the shocker. Yeah, yeah And then that okay, but you get the shocker. No, okay. Good. No, we can say that Yeah, I seen you mentioned in mentioned in Mention oh, I think like a bunch of Jewish people together and like mentioned me

You were mentioned in stepbrothers. Oh, that's right. Dean cook 20 minutes pay-per-viewview. Yes. Why is that? Is that just a run-on? I think it was a riff, you know, a little improv. I think it was supposed to be a dig. It was kind of like saying like, okay, you know, let's go and entertain ourselves with some buffoonery or something. I think it was supposed to be like a quip. But I liked it. Why'd you bring that up? I was watching Step Brothers.. Oh, I like it. Okay, okay, good. I like it. I like a little bit of ball busting, a little hazing. It's all fair.

It's all in play. Think, think, okay. Okay. You're also very good in that movie with Steve Carell. I forgot what it was called. Dan in Real Life. Yes, I saw a clip of the dinner table scene. Yeah.

And how just, you're just a good actor, just natural. So natural and so good. Thanks, man. I feel the same way about you. Ah, fuck off. Can I be honest? Yeah, go ahead. I think, and I mean this sincerely, I think we are two of the most

underutilized actors in Hollywood. I don't know, I think you worked a lot more than me. I think so, right? I'll tell you that right now. No, it doesn't matter who's worked more, I just think that we could both be working more. I don't think that we're working up to our level. That's true, that's true, but you know,'s also um, it's the games not over. Oh

No, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm gonna win it then. I'm gonna win an Oscar. Yeah, I know you are absolutely I'm gonna be nominated. Yeah. Yeah, it'll probably be the same night. Hopefully Cinematography that would be fantastic. That'd be great. Both of us Bobby Lee for you mean makeup Are you wait the Kung Flu movie, right? Kung, you know what I mean? Cinematography, Bobby Lee. And I'm gonna go, thank you. You know what I mean?

And then, Dane Cook, what are you gonna win for? I'll probably, it'll probably be some kind of history, something like a history piece. What do they call that when it's like a period piece? Period piece, yeah, yeah. I feel like some kind of, I feel like I could, I've got a bit of a rugged look. Dangerous Liaisons Part Two. Something like that, maybe like I'm a cowboy and you think that I'm the guy

because I wear the white hat and I'm good but actually I wear the black hat at the end or I take the white hat and I rub it in the dirt I go that I'm wearing a black hat. Wow. Yeah. You won that. But I do feel like I've been a I've always kind of like projected things out in my career and I do feel like... Well I call it manifestation. Okay, yeah. Do you call it that? No. Okay.

No, it's kind of against my Christian beliefs. Yeah, yeah. So I won't call it that. So Jules, what do you know about Gayn? I just want to say I'm Filipino. Yeah. So don't get mad at me. Oh, I wouldn't get mad.

Why? Do I get mad at Filipinos once? No, I just wanted to say I'm Filipino. She's seen Good Luck Chalk. Good Luck Chalk. Yeah. And that's it. No there's a there's like a famous TikTok clip that I always see you in with Ryan Reynolds and you're the one that puts the your pubes on the food. Yeah. Yeah that's why I see you. That's right. You're waiting. Wait wait wait is that a real thing? Please tell me that's a real thing. That's usually the Philippines?

Wait, that's a scene, yeah, the scene, we take out our pubic hair and we garnish. Because there was a Karen, I think. Something like that. Yeah. You lifted your voice, it's fine. Oh, yeah. But you know, none of that was,

you've seen that in the Philippines, but none of that was like anti-Filipino. No. Okay, nice talking to you. But it's- What? What was that? I felt like if I didn't end it,

then we didn't know where it was gonna go. I want us to be the breakout stars. You're already at Star Wars. I know. These guys are set for life. Dude, you're gonna figure it out. It may not happen. It may not happen. This is so not,

it doesn't work. It doesn't work. I'll tell you why it works, right? And she brought up on Filipino as a defense mechanism because she's like basically like, I don't know English. No, I speak. That's what that was, right? I don't know English. I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it, right? I got you. But she knows. Yeah, yeah. I know she knows and I know that now she knows and I know a little bit more about her and there's a real simpatico here. So I was talking to them about back in our day when they had two different school buses.

We could probably be a fan at some point too, maybe one of those little portable. Why? Because you're always sweating here. I went hiking. Okay, but right here, you're not sweating anywhere else, but you have one. Yeah, because my sweat glands are all gathered here.

Why would you hike today? Of all days? Why do you hike today? The hottest, I know. It's 103 degrees out there. Because I hadn't been outside. Okay. Why would you hike today? Of all days? Why do you hike today? It's 103 degrees out there. I hadn't been outside. I hadn't been outside and I'm air conditioned in this house, right? So I put on all the gear and I went, well let me explain now because you fucking questioned me. Helix for your backside and your sleep.

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So anyway, I w as I walked out with the keys, I keep it. And I'm not rushing either, but I should you know what I'm peppering and I should be yeah Yeah, so anyway, I as I walked out with the keys I heat and I'm like should I shouldn't but I'm like I have some fat So anyway, let's move on and do what I do I'm down 35 pounds in the last four months since I saw you with dinner how carnivore diet dudes Literally only meat for the last four and a half months. That's it. No veggies. Nothing, no, no. Veggies, I learned from my wife who's certified

in nutrition and everything else is toxic. We shouldn't even be eating vegetables. What? There's basically stuff in plants and vegetables that are like to protect those plants and vegetables and they're not exactly things that the human body wants to indulge so yeah no vegetables animals have those too they're called claws

we don't eat those so is there any way to work around the vegetables what i just fucking love no i'm just i'm so excited to be here we don't eat those parts but you could do car could you do carnivore well that's why i'm going to ask you i don't eat those words, but you could do car could you do carnivore? Well, that's what I'm gonna ask you I don't even know much about us. I'm gonna ask you so let me could ask. Yeah, so basically I'm gonna ask yeah Bring me in This is my podcast I know I know I'm excited I'm I'm ramped up cuz I know you're excited I came in cuz when I came in here like you guys have me on you know you have me on like a four-year cycle or something and Because when I came in here, you guys had me on, you had me on a four year cycle or something.

And... No, that's not the truth. And last time I came in, I wasn't feeling very good about myself. I was coming off of an HGH site. I'd never done HGH in my life. And then I did HGH and for two months I looked great. And then I did another cycle and I turned into

something from fucking Roblox or something. And that was last time I was here and I was like, I wanna go back and look like Dane Cook again. Yeah, but I never thought that when you were here. I looked like a fun house mirror last time I was here and I was like, I wanna go back and look like Dane Cook again. Yeah, but I never thought that when you were here. I looked like a Fun House mirror last time I was here. I'll be honest. Okay, maybe that. But I also wanna say that not a lot of people do returning.

I can give you a thousand people that have not returned. That you request and they're like. No, I just don't think of like, oh, I want that guy back, you know what I mean, or whatever. But I've always wanted you back. Who's that? Chris Distafato? That's you.

That's me. Oh, fuck. That's me. That's an X. Chris Distafato. That's like the Asian thing. Like, oh, it's Ken Jeong. Oh yeah, yeah, I did a reverse Asian thing, sorry.

You did a reverse Asian. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was back in the old house. Five years ago. Yes. You ever been in this house? This was when you and kalila yeah yeah where everything was good and i was definitely out of shape um and this was yeah

man this is a rough patch for me wait is that this house or the other no the other this is your apartment apartment yeah yeah the apartment yeah so anyway um well welcome back hey 15 cook a run to a buck welcome back to the to the program wait Wait, is that's where you got to kick in like, have you been watching those Korean cheerleaders? On TikTok? Yes. You don't know what the Korean cheerleaders are? Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I don't like this.

You know what the Korean cheerleaders are. I know. And you look it up in a second, but don't show me yet. Okay. Wait! No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! You wait! You wait for a second. Okay, I'm going to wait. So this is what I'm trying to do, dude. I'm trying to temper this animal. All right, calm down, everyone calm down.

Okay, yep. All right, I have not seen it, okay? Yeah. And guess what? I will partake. I will partake. We're gonna watch it together. We're gonna watch it together right now, right?

But I'm gonna say something. I might not be as exhilarated as you just projected. Okay? I'm just letting you know. Can I, then can I, may I? Yeah, you may. This is like Queen's Gambit. You may, you may, you may. I wanna say this.

Yeah, yeah. I think that once you do see it, you're not gonna unsee it, and then for the next 48 hours, the little song that they're gonna play, you're gonna think of it a lot. Can I say one last thing? There's many things that I can't unsee.

That people say that I can't. Understand? That's so, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So let's see. Which one is it? The first one is one of them, but they're everywhere. There's the volume if you guys want to hear. Yeah, I'm hearing it. I love it.

That's it? That's it? No, no, no. It's not it. You continue playing it, but you have to find another one of those clips. Yeah, find me another one. There's a thousand, right? You've been watching these, right?

Yeah. And they're... Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Can we do that too? Right. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys should be doing it.

But that, that... Dude, you know what? I love it. I won't, I won't. Really? I won't unsee it. You can cut it. You can cut it.

No, no, no, no, I, no, I will not unsee that. Okay. I love that. And that's all they do. Just the little thumbs thing. Yeah. But it starts with them putting makeup on and then the music starts and then they start dancing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just this. They get paid 1.5 million won. Wow. And every Asian girl I ask out on a date, what'd they do that? They go, get out, get the fuck outta here. Get outta here.

Wow. It's actually, it is an amazing, it's a trend I guess now on TikTok. My favorite part is they're always doing something else like makeup before, so they'll be just kinda like moving some stuff around. Oh like this? Like that, yeah.

Yes, and then it goes into the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've eh, oh, eh, oh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. I've never hooked up with a

like that. Oh. Wow, dude. I'm allowed to react. I just can't say it back, right? Is that the racist rule? Dan, good reaction, Dan. Racist rule?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, let me read. Yeah, yeah. But I can quote what he just said. I could say it like, I could say, oh, and then Bobby Lee said I never seen a like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I he just said I could say it like I could say oh and then Bobby Lee said I never seen a like that but I'm not I'm not putting I'm the I'm the narrative. Let's rewind. Let's rewind. Forget I said that. Unsee that. Unsee that. Okay. Okay. Okay Anyway, thank you so much for giving that. Yeah, I really and you did change me. Thank you in a weird way

I'm glad that you would you think of that. It's pretty hot. Yeah It's pretty good. Right. So let me ask you something. Jaime, what did you think of that? It's pretty hot. Yeah. It's pretty good, right? So let me ask you something. I was, before we came, I was, they don't know anything about, back in our day when, you know, there was two school buses that picked us up. There was the, you know, the one that... Longer one? The longer one.

And a shorter one. And a shorter one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Regular bus, like, picked up most of the students, and then the short bus would pick up what we used to call the ****. But now we call them the mentally challenged. I would try to get away from, you know what I mean? Well, in the 80s, no, pick up what we used to call the R***** but now we call them the mentally challenged. I would try to get away from, you know what I mean?

Well in the 80s, no, that's what we said. I mean again, like if we're, this is on the public, this is a historical note, what I'm saying. Oh, that's right, so you can say that. Of course, like all those R*****s are late for the R***** bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was trying to be more politically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I am politically correct

and I don't stand by what I just said, but I said it a lot and I stood very well okay I get I get I get what you're saying okay yeah I protect myself yeah you did so back then yeah yeah we called them yeah yeah so anyway he's quirky little corkies yeah that helmets cute look by the way a couple of them were my best friends in school and I'm not just trying to pad the other side now but because I was I was ostracized Michael what was his name Michael what was this thing he's your birthday what you remember your birthday and he never forgot it and then 20 years later when I went back to a reunion he saw me and Michael went and cook March 18th and then he knew everything and you know

what and he said to me and okay emotional moment said, because I was always the guy that like, if I saw other people being nasty to him, I would go up and I'd like try to cool it out. And he was so nice, he was like, I remember you always came up and you always said, that's not nice, don't treat Michael like that. And he was so happy about reliving this, obviously it was not easy for him at that time.

But yeah, so that was Michael's superpower. In high school we had a guy in a wheelchair and he always had his mouth open. I don't know why. Show me like how it was. Careful. Good one. I'll try. And kids used to put grass in his mouth. Right. Why are you laughing? I'm not. So I would, I feel so bad, right? I would take the grass out with my own fingers, right? But then I would put skittles in the grass. Skittles. Yeah.

Right. You know what I mean? Because it's tastier. Yeah, of course. Yeah, but he didn't have the ability to chew. He loved that, by the way. He didn't have the ability to chew. Nobody had the ability to wait for something to melt.

That's true. Melt down his throat. Through time, through time. Right. So like the Grand Canyon, it's just time to melt. By the way, I'm not defending the behavior of those bullies, but there are a lot of minerals even in grass. Okay, thank you, thank you.

Okay, that's all I'm gonna say. Fertilize them. I'm glad I wait every four years to come back and have to spit everything out that I've been thinking about for the last four fucking years. I don't know why I'm sweating, but I love it. You know what I mean? Well, I love you.

I'll talk to these guys while you wipe up. So, Filipinos, North or South? I don't know. I don't know why I'm sweating, but I love it. I love you. I'll talk to these guys while you wipe up Filipinos North or South I don't know So I you know, I and I but wait I have okay Take my hand. What do you mark? No, did I say mark? I meant how I'm in Delphi. Let's do it again. What are you, how? No, Carnivore. Let me just say this. We didn't finish the thing.

I want to ask you some questions. If you're seriously looking to trim up, right, dude, Carnivore, all you have to do is every day you get a piece of ribeye, or you could even go to like a restaurant that we like, a steakhouse. You can go there and you can get a piece of filet or ribeye and you can eat that every day. You can have that with bacon, butter, you can have ribs, like baby- But no potatoes.

Can't have the potatoes, no potatoes. I haven't had bread, sugar, potatoes, ice cream, nothing for six months, nothing. And it's like every day I'm, I do a lot of pilates. All right, so what I'm gonna say to you is this. Okay. Can I get the, it's in my head right now.

Can I get the Wagyu's, A6, you know that? Yes. Okay. Yeah, get whatever you want. You can have the butter. You can have as much butter as you like. I don't know if I'll get hungry right away, I think. You have more meat.

Okay, can I get salami packets? I don't know if that's in play, maybe. Well, that's a salami packet. I didn't know if that's in play maybe. Well that's that's again I didn't invent it so it's I know but it's not all you know deriving from yeah I think you can have listen as long as it's meat without any kind of like a chakurri bar like a chakurri bar. Chakurri yeah you could have chakurri. Yeah yeah no cheese though. No uh no you can have cheese. Oh did you say that you just said meat. Like you know what I had today my wife made me a ground beef like hamburger like I would have a hamburger But no bread and then she threw cheese on it melted it so I had like hamburgers for dinner hamburger hamburger ground beef

But what's the burger the bread the bread the bread the part of the burger not called a bread burger Well hamburger, there's no ham in it either. I know but they you know semantics Okay, so I called a meat burger All right hamburger. Okay. Okay. I called a burger at all It's just meat but that's it. That's fine named after Jonathan burger. Yeah. Yeah, what's word is he was very joking about John the burger Oh, no, it's called cheeseburger to write cheeseburger, right? It's meat and cheese. Oh cheese. Yeah cheeseburger. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you know, you don't talk so much. Okay. Yeah Yeah, I'm starting to feel what he's feeling with this,

and I'm gonna side with Bobby Lee on this part and say like I felt like it was a lot. Okay, man. Cheeseburger. Hey, do I have to guess which one of these things I can drink as a water? No, no, so this you can have. Okay.

You have a coffee thing here. We have three different options. Just regular water. What do you want, dude? Regular, smart water. You know, when I'm thinking about water and I wanna reach for water, I wanna reach for a smart water,

and that's the only water that is the hydrated water that a person who's on carnivore diet thinks about. And listen to this refreshing crack. Ah, ow, water. So as you know, I had something happen to me the other day. You did? Yeah, and I want advice from all three of you, okay? And I've talked to this problem to other

people and they don't think it's a big deal but it consumes my mind. Okay. What? They get me nervous. No it's not about it's not about it's about a woman. Oh okay. And you know much about you everyone that has in our opinion. Yeah as a married man I won you know I now. You're a winner. Right. I love when we had dinner that one night at that steak house at what right what's. What's it called? I stick 48. Yes. Take for it. It was such a beautiful night. Thank you. And I love you guys Anyway, um, you paid for it too. Thank you. Oh, yeah, I get the next one. It's my pleasure I get the next I look forward to that. Okay, can I tell you my problem or no? Yeah, okay I have to go a little bit what I think of you go about this. No, no, no, no

I have to go a little bit in the past. Okay. okay so here's the deal okay for me to ask out a girl okay I have to be ninety nine point nine percent sure that I'm not gonna get rejected okay that because the word I hate being rejected it consumes me it hurts I already have questions but I'll wait well ask away well how do you know that you're at the 99.9? Do you do a little recognizance? There's a couple of things that happen that I need to happen before I go in. All right.

Let's say we're at dinner. Yeah. You and I, for the first time, and you're, put your hand on the table. Okay. Right? And I go. I'm her? What?

You're her, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, you're right, Sally, that did happen. And then she grabs me first. Right, right, right. No, I showed you that. So you grab me first. Okay. So I say a joke, right?

Okay, yeah, yeah. And the Cambodian says, Zeke BIA. Yeah, that, that. That is a sign. That is a sign. Don't you think? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's like one of the- When they do this, or that, you know, that's a bit of touching. So your love language is touch. Right, and there a that's like one of when they do this or that you know, that's a bit of touching So your love language is touch right? Type a look that I could just sense it a look Yeah, and also like yeah, we should do something next week like they already say it in the thing, right? Right. So there's like little signs right like the touch is obviously like that If a woman touches you that usually there's some kind of indicator of like I feel safe with you I'd be sarcastic right now or not?

No, I'm like... Oh, you're agreeing with me? Yeah. Okay. Jules, can you affirm that? I'm trying to... Yes. Okay, good.

Great. How about you, Jaime, affirm? I'm a lady, but I think... No, no, no. He brings up a point, and you know, he's not a lady. He's not a lady. I know you're not a lady, but would you agree that, if you were on a date with a woman,

then that would be a fucking- To what? Touching? Touching? Like she touched me? Yeah, touching is like a form of affection to say like- Flirting, she flirting with you. Flirting, physical.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. I had to think about it, but- Yeah, I don't even think, I honestly don't think you even know what we just said. I do. I'm just saying yes. Explain it then.

You were on a date and you have the fear of being rejected. So okay. Oh, he went deeper. You remember the preamble. The preamble. Yeah, that's fine. Let's move on. Okay.

Yeah. Good job. That was a good, that was like, uh, not a short bus answer, but not a long bus down. Yeah. Yeah. There's a middle bus. Okay. Okay.

Wait. So you need that. I need bus. Okay. Okay, wait, so you need that. I need that, okay? Because of the fact that being rejected, it just hurts still. It's a fear of mine since I was a kid, okay? But when I take a risk sometimes and I get rejected, I'm proud of myself that I took a risk. Right. And I felt it, right?

So anyway, I met somebody a week, couple weeks ago, and she was not somebody I was interested at all. She was a carpenter. I have nothing against carpenters. Jesus was a carpenter. It's very true. Yeah, but they're kind of got, the female carpenters I've met

have like a Burning Man kind of a vibe. Okay. You know what I mean? Like free trade, they trade like, you know, marbles for fucking plants or whatever they do. You know what I mean? Right. What they call that?

You know, they use monetary, you know, anyway. So, and they live in, gypsy-ish, right? So I met this, you know, and this carpenter, you know, and she, and I exchanged, because I want her to make something for me, right? And then, but the night I met her, Theo Von saw us together, okay? Yeah.

Which is fine. And then I exchanged numbers because I want her to Theo Vaughan saw us together. Okay. Okay? Yeah. Which is fine. And then I exchanged numbers because I want her to make this thing for me. Okay. Which is a fence. A cat fence. Oh. Okay?

Okay. That's a good in too because you legitimately. I wasn't trying to get in. This was just purely carpenter. I know that. I know that you're scaring me. I know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

I know. But it's an in because it's also like, it's organic. Go ahead. What do you say in? What do you mean? It means that like, you're not just like looking for some, you know. I'm not looking for anything but a fence. Right, but some of you are interested. No, I'm not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I know you're not interested. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. You didn't know you're- Stop, stop. You're on that line and don't cross. I'm not gonna cross it because the Lady Jesus lady, she builds fences and you're interested in her and it's kind of a good synergy

that she could actually come into your world by. Fence making. Fence making. Yeah, just strictly fence making for the pen. Okay, anyway, can we just move on? Yeah, I know what you're doing and I like it. All right. Wow.

But it's crafty and it's 1990s cook. Oh, shoot. All right, it's not 2024. Okay, okay, I know where I need to be. It's tourgasm cook. You all right, and back that 2024. Okay, okay, I know. All right. Or I need to be. It's Tourgasm Cook. You all right? And back that up, okay? Excuse me.

So anyway. What, excuse me? So, I was, so Saturday night, I'm at the Comedy Store, right? And I walk down the hallway and I see Theo talking to the carpenter. Okay? Okay. And then Theo sees me and he goes,

he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. To make a joke like, I'm not touching her, Bobby. She's yours or something. Right. Which I didn't even have, like, I didn't, right? Right, you don't know, maybe he wants a chair built. Oh, good point. You don't know?

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. But he was implying that she was like, somebody I was interested in, which I wasn't. Right. Right? So, for the rest of the night, she's now completely an asshole to me.

Like I walked up to her one night, cause she was hung out at the store, and she was very distant, but I didn't think anything of it, right? But then the next day she goes, I just wanna let you know that I'm strictly friends with you, like I have no interest.

With you? Yes! Right? And now I'm getting rejection with you. Like I have no interest. You? Yes. Wow. Right? And now I'm getting rejection. Wow. Right?

From someone I wasn't even interested in in the first place! Just offense. Just offense. Defense. Yeah. I didn't even put myself out there to get rejected for no reason! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm-mm. Da-na-na, na-na, na-na-na. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. So she, so you weren't even in the, na, na, na, na, na. Wait, wait, wait, okay. So you weren't even in the friend zone and then she pulled you into friend zone, shook you, and then threw you into friend zone. Yes, exactly.

That's what, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold you. I wasn't even in the game is what I'm saying, right? And why would she reach out and feel the need to? I can't even, oh, my phone's upstairs, but it was like one of those things where I, and I was like, no, we're just friends, I'm fine, right? But then that night I go.

Hold on, can I be 2004 Dane for a second? Not so much 1998 Dane. Let me open up the 2004, the window of 2004. So you never were interested at all in her, but you're upset because she put you in a place. Yeah, I got rejected anyway, okay? and it also it she made it seem like like oh no you can't have this right you know I mean Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're just learning in any way no good question. Do you? Given your dimensions of a cat fucking fence is that flirting I mean no

Game time. Getting tickets for shows. Show up. You guys, you guys are watching shows, man. You like getting tickets. I'd like to concert. You like concerts. I want to see your show.

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Download Game Time today. What time is it, George? Game Time! ["Game Time Theme Song"] Well, it depends. How did the conversation go? Play it out. Dane will be the woman. Go ahead. No, I don't want you to remember that's how livid I am, all right? But thank you so much for trying, okay?

But then the fact that Theo did the reactionary thing, like, that... That's what made it even worse. That made her almost think maybe she liked that Theo did the reactionary thing, like that that's what made it even worse. That made her almost think maybe she liked that Theo was. But so the night I met her, she was like, yeah, I bought tickets for the Theo Von show Saturday. Okay. Right. So she probably had a crush like a lot of those fucking gypsy Burning Man women, carpenter ladies do. Right. Yeah. And he has a demographic. I'm a big nice person, but it just, I got hurt, you know what I mean? For no reason, and I hated it. And now, do you see where I'm coming from?

Everyone, does everyone agree? Because I said this to this other friend, he's like, what the fuck you talking about? I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that., and now do you see what I'm coming from everyone does everyone agree before I said that to this other friend

He's like what the fuck you're talking about. Well, let's go Jaime. Go ahead. I hate when they do that It happens often that I understand your pain do what just quickly just gotta do what the pain you go They went through them. Yeah, but I don't think you understand what the fuck is even happening right now. I do what the pain you go through the went through them. Yeah, I don't think you understand what the fuck is even happening right now I do I've been in that situation before what's the situation like with the girl thinks that I'm trying to get at her But it's strictly business and they like no, I'm just your friend. Just yeah, I really think you stood, but I'm so sorry for you He gets you man. Do I'm sorry. You do get it. It's been happening Yeah, yeah, and And you know what?

I'll tell you another thing, and Dave maybe we could have backed this up. You and I are the same type I think. And to women or? No, no, no. Just in terms of like body structure and sentiment. Yeah. And who we are personality wise. Jolly, cute guys.

Ethnic. Ethnic, yeah. Right? Trying to do our best. We're just guys. Great skin. Great skin, yeah. Trying to do our best. We're just guys. Great skin. Great skin, yeah. We're just. Yeah. But you, Jules.

Well, if you weren't trying to flirt or do anything with her, then that's on her for assuming. There we go, yeah. Yeah, and that's just, did you text her back after she said? Yeah, what'd you say? I just basically said, no, I had no feelings or intentions like that, let's just be friends. Right, and she was like, okay, she got an exc or intentions like that. Let's just be friends. Right? And she's like, OK.

OK, exclamation mark, right? And I was fine with it until I went to bed that night. George? I want to know if you're still getting the cat fence from her. No, that's out. Because see, now. No, no, no. Very, very good.

She stuck you in a corner. Because now it looks like you are trying to get with her by not getting the cat fence. She played that no because this is coming from her this is coming out you weren't interested this podcast is coming out well you think this is in a vacuum no this is getting out there dude this for us yeah I put up enough fucking you know I mean information right for anything circulator what are you talking about no no right this is no. This is me winning. All right? All right? So, so yeah. But also, why is she so defensive?

Yeah, that's the part that I don't understand that. Why? Yeah, so that's what I want to ask her. I don't understand that. Like, why is she doing this, this? Because I'm so repulsive to her in that way. Why do you think you're repulsive to her? No, no. That's a heavy duty word. Dane, Dane, Dane. Yeah. Dane. Yeah. To her in that way. Why do you think you're repulsed? No, no Yeah, yeah, okay

Recently, all right. I was having Sexual fornication with another human female version. Okay. Why are we talking like we're in court? Evidence a my condom. Can we sidebar? What I'm saying is that, you know, beautiful chicks, you know what I mean? I'm just a certain specific kind of brand that they like. Okay. Why do you smile like that? I don't know, it's just an interesting way to pocket it. I've never heard somebody think of themself like that.

You're a great human being. No, I am. You're also a brand. Yeah, I'm a specific brand. Bargotzi's fan base doesn't generally like my comment. It's fine. But their women, his... Ooh, la la la la, loose. I don't know what you're saying. I don't know either.

I think the brand word threw me off. Yeah, okay. Here's. I don't know either. Right, here's what my problem. I think the brand word threw me off. You mean, yeah, okay. Yeah, so here's where I have a problem with. Okay. All right, what I wanted to texture back was, wait a second, so just the idea that you thought that I liked you made you act that way? Why?

Why can't it be okay for me to like you and then you just be, why'd you have to be a complete jerk? Did you respond with all of this? No, I didn't. Okay, got it. No, I just said, I don't like you, a complete jerk? Did you respond with all of this? No, I didn't. Okay, got it. No, I just said, I don't like you, bye.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you're gonna see her again, I'm sure. I'm, no, no, no, no. She'll be in the hallway, you'll see her there, she'll buy tickets for the Theophon and Friends experience. Hopefully, you know what I mean, if this goes out, you know what I mean? It'll go out.

And she comes up to me and goes, hey, let me straighten some things out. Yeah. Then I go, okay, let's get that out of the way. Yeah, yeah, can I be with you? I'd like to be with you. Why? I don't know, because I just want to walk by and say something

or like that thing under my breath, like, oof, man, you know, missed out. Yeah, yeah. And then what would you have said? That's you're my lawyer. We're in court. Oh, she wrote me that? If she wrote that text to me?

Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't have said anything. You should never have even replied. You're so stupid to have even written anything. You gave her all your power for absolutely no reason. And now she has a little Bobby Lee in a jar that she puts on her shelf. Cause she has power over you.

You gave her the power. Yeah. Oh my god. I should have said nothing. Nothing. Right. Ever. From now on.

Even if in two years she wrote you, and then you keep track of that number. Yeah, yeah. And then if she writes back in two years, you know what you do? You do this, you type, and then you delete it, and don't send anything. Right, right.

What if she comes up to me at the store? Hi, and you are? Oh. Yeah, your version of that. Yeah. And then give her? Hi, and you are? Oh. Oh. Yeah, your version of that. Yeah. And then give her, oh, you're a great actor. Like we're good, we're the best in our class. Here, go, oh wow, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, hi.

Here's, and I wanna, I feel so bad talking like this. Okay. Okay. What's, why are you giggling like a fucking hyena? Because you're gonna say something hilarious. No, I'm not, it's not something hilarious, it's something gross. I know. I'm about to say something gross, okay? Oh, I gotta take. No, I'm not. I know. If that's something hilarious, it's something gross. I know. I'm about to say something gross, okay?

Oh, I gotta take, fuck, I'm so sweaty, hold on. Is this even thing working? I don't know, I'm sorry. In a certain point, I had to take it off because I was getting this Bobby Lee, and then this Bobby Lee, and it was a lot of Bobby Lee. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so.

It was like spatial audio Bobby Lee. Yeah. Here's why I thought it was also extra insulting. It's just like, you know, like I'm Bobby Lee. Yeah It's that it's so weird to say when you say that but but it's like, you know, I mean like I'm good Like I'm good. Like this is mad TV Bobby Lee and and then you add all the other TV Bobby Lee and and then you add all the other. Well, you start there. That's like foundational. Oh, yeah.

It's like, boom, you just start rifling off all your success, including this. Yeah. It's just like, it's like she talked to me in a way it was like, Hey, let's let you let you know it's like, Oh yeah, no problem. I'm fine. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, why do you even bring it up?

You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, here's where you, where you say that. If I go, Hey, do you want to go on a date? Okay. Then you say, listen, I just want to be, that's when you say that. Right.

You don't say it because Dio von goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. You know what I mean? Now there is another philosophy here, and if I could throw another school of thought. Well, you're going to anyway, so let's do it. No, I wouldn't. I want you to.

If you said listen for time purposes, we got another person coming in, we got Bill Burr, 15 appearance. You're the only one. You're here in four more years. No, no. You're the only one we have today. Okay, so go ahead. What I was gonna say and you guys will maybe like inform whether I'm right or wrong. Just go off the way. Yeah, just wrong. We'll go with wrong. Maybe she did that as a way to is maybe she did that as a way to try to get you to come after her by being like, hey, by the way, I'm not interested in you

because she really wants you to be interested in her. Negging, she was negging. Is that called negging? Yeah. Maybe she was doing that. No, what do you think I think of that? You said no. No, I don't think that's what she did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't think, because that's never happened before. Is she pretty? It's very like namaste. You know what I mean? It's very like doing yoga on a cliff, you know what I mean? Right.

Right, doing this all day long. Got it. Yeah, that kind of thing. Holistic. Holistic, and then she's also working with her hands. Yeah, maybe calloused. But pretty calloused. Yeah, but she's in her mid-30s.

Okay. And I've never really been interested in someone that looks like that, but. Yeah, she's in her lane, she's in her career. Yeah, if I'm gonna. She's comfortable in her body. If I saw her in a movie, I was like, oh, I like that. You know who she reminds me of?

That girl Chastain. Jessica Chastain? Yes. Okay. From Zero Dark 30s. Yeah, and that's what she's in right now, her Zero Dark 30s. that's what she's in right now her zero dark 30s just building fucking fences okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she worked for the CIA but the hot one that works there you know right anyway

do you think do you think that it's like maybe it's like that's the kind I don't you know what I don't fucking no no no no you know a lot. You know so much, dude. I do, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know so much. No, because it's all a game. It really is a game. There's very few people in this world

who come at situations like this, where it's like, hey, can we just be real straight up? I just wanna let you know how I feel about you. It's always like removing things from between two people. It's very rarely like you see eye to eye and start off on the same page. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, I've been better at that, of like locking eyes with someone and go, listen, this is how I feel, I'm good, whatever, you know, however you feel, but I need to say it. You don't want, No, like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Like, you know how you want, Put your hand, put your hand, yeah, and we're out of date, right? Right. I go, fleece, fleece. I have a hard time yeah, but you know you know how you're gonna put your hand Yeah, and we're out there right right like a fleece fleece I have a hard time coming with names. You know me fleece. We should have a leash of you said Which by the way, I was in it and I felt it was You already gave me a pet name. I want something that's a word a name. I never Nicole me Oh like that Nicole me fancy. That's her last name and you're you or you know what it was a boy are you lady Jesus or you Bobby Lee doing this right

now? Why would I be Lady Jesus? I thought you were acting out as her and I didn't know you're Nicole me. Nicole me. Right. Why don't you know what we're actually? Nicole yeah anyway Nicole. When she did with the lady Jesus never even touched you which you don't want that hand on you anyway. It probably feels all splintered. Jesus was a carpenter. She's a lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Lady Jesus, if you look at her fingers,

they looked like, you know, it was like very royal. Oh, okay. Her fingers are very royal. Oh. Yeah, I mean, and very, ha ha. Oh. Yeah, yeah, so. So she probably does a lot of solves and moisturizers.

Yeah, exactly, right. Just play into that. Just the whole thing was very offensive to me, but maybe I'm just like, you know, looking into it too deeply and being, it just made me mad, you know? Yeah. It's like, you know, it's like,

when I used to walk down the street, I've talked back in the old Tigerville, I've talked about how one time I was- That's the one I was on. Yeah, with Sarah, my ex-girlfriend, and she was a tall blonde girl, and I was holding hands with her in Hawaii, and then a bunch of jocks walked by us,

and I heard one of them go, yeah, that guy paid for her, there's no way she's dating him for real, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I went to turn around and go, no, but you guys, what the fuck, dude? No, she liked me for, what are you talking about? Yeah. You know what I mean? Just, and I want to turn around go no, but you guys what the fuck did no She liked me for we talking about yeah, you know mean just because because they didn't know

They just saw this like kind of weird eccentric Korean did Without any other information just based on what the way I look yeah No, and so I think I'm fighting that old self-image of myself, too, you know You know? You know, you've always been a confident, handsome young man, you know? You've always been so confident. I'm still thinking about the last thing you just said and it's really, it's just hitting me in the heart.

About what? Because I just want you to be happy, Bobby Lee. But you know what I can't stand is people not being able to go understand, they go, oh no, no, but you're, yeah, but it's like, no, I mean, there was, you have to understand there was a time throughout my whole life where I felt like I was invisible. And that I wasn't being seen at all. You know what I mean?

I would walk, I mean, one time I, you know, Kalisto, I've talked about this before, but Kalisto Hernandez was some Mexican dude that I used to roommates in Silver Lake back in the 90s. And we had no money, but he was a handsome guy. So every time we would walk into a bar, women would just flock to him. I mean, I had this one girl just walk up to him and start making out with him without even saying his name. And they would see right through me.

Like it was almost as if I wasn't there. And like I couldn't get numbers, I couldn't get anything going. And it just felt so lonely and I didn't really exist. And so it's like, I've worked my ass off to show the world, here I am, and I'm also trying to build my self-esteem and my confidence and all that. And I've done that. I feel so confident. I really do. There's not any situation, I could look at Michael Bay in the eyes and go, what's up, you know what I mean? Oh, that's a weird fucking, yeah.

But like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but anybody, like anybody, I could just go up to anybody and go, listen, I don't, you know, I feel, when I'm on a set, I'm so confident, like when directors come in and give me notes, I'm like, okay, I get it, you know what I mean? I just, I'm so confident in all areas, but every once in a while, something like this will occur. It'll just kind of bring me back into that time where I'm like, okay, I get it. You know, I mean, I just I'm so confident in all areas But every once in a while something like this will occur

It'll just kind of bring me back into that time where I was like, oh that that guy, you know Do you think that sometimes you just you you you invite all these? Complex emotions because you think you have to be this version of yourself in order to Walk onto that set or onto that stage and have it all kind of come together Do you think you're doing this to yourself? Interesting. You said there's a version of myself. Yeah. So you're saying that we carry different versions in a different situation? Oh for sure, yeah. You do? Yeah, absolutely. You know, are we not just hiding certain aspects of ourselves in certain situations? Yeah, I definitely

think that sometimes it's like you're hiding and sometimes you'll just like let people have a glimpse of who you are or what your personal constitution is. And I think that as performers, I think that we're used to feeling the adulation and the respect because the work brings it. And then that fine line, like, how real can I be with somebody? How human, how much can I show somebody? And I still wonder, I'm wondering, and I'm not trying to put anything on you, like how much of you still feel like you have to have some walls up or some performative thing and why you can't just be yourself. And if something like this happens with this girl,

just be like, fuck it, who cares? Yeah, you're right. Why do you carry it with you? Because what I'm saying is you use it as ammo for all the other stuff. Can I add? Yeah, go ahead. I see do you carry it with you? Because what I'm saying is you use it as ammo for all the other stuff. Can I add? Yeah, go ahead. I see so many girls that Tito Bobby pulled that are like tens. Like a lot of pretty girls.

So I feel like you don't... Yeah, you don't need to worry. Boom. I'm not worried. Thank you so much. She's like a daughter. I thank you so much for saying that, you little one. You remember that Asian girl, the model? she was so pretty. Yes, very good. Thank you so much. Yeah. I had a crush on her. Yeah, I know you did. And very good. Yeah, very good. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. May I add something? Yeah, yeah, you may. You may, son.

Do you think, like, the looks go a long way? Because you said something about, what did you say? We have a transcript or something. Can we roll it back? Bring the teleprompter? No, I know. I'm having fun with you because I like you. Oh, it's because like you said you had your roommate back in the 90s.

He would just walk in and all these girls would just come at him, right? I feel your pain, Bobby, because that's how I am too. Girls don't come to me like that. I'm saying looks go a long way too. Okay. Let's just say it again. I want to. I don't even have a rebuttal. I just want to feel what I'm feeling. To okay, yeah I want to yeah, yeah, cuz I don't even have a rebuttal. I just want I have no idea what the fuck he was trying to say really

Thank you though, okay, I'm a appreciate it okay, okay? I Love you, dude. Yeah, you know we found him Huh, you know we found him. No, you know Ralph Boboza's. Yeah So we had him on a guest year ago and he's a friendly group and he does stand up to but in Texas and he was just sitting there With him with Ralph. Yeah, well, I'm just sitting to bring interview We're sitting there right there and there was just something about him. We went we talked to this guy Yeah, and then we he's just done a bunch of tiger, but we fly him out here just to be our sidekick

You know I mean you're really good get your diamond in the rough. I like yeah, you're a good dude. It's very authentic You're very authentic. I think after doing stand-up for so many years the one thing I've had to do is become Present and I can respond to not everybody in a crowd, but a lot of people in there I saw I feel that from you. I feel like you're a very present person. Thank you. I don't think he was present. No, he does, he does. No, I got it.

Present. That was really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying, yeah, yeah. You're a happy guy, right? You're a happy guy. Yeah. Well, you kind of went like this.

You kind of did a little bit of a. Well, I'm happy. Yeah. Happy? It's hard. What's hard? It's hard to talk to ladies you know. It's hard. Why? Because some of them are gonna be fucking assholes and reject you? Yeah. That's a

lot of people. But you know what my suggestion... You know who the loneliest women in the world are? The prettiest. My dad taught me that. He said the most beautiful women in the world are the loneliest. I thought he was out of his fucking mind. And I was a real insecure kid. I had a big fat Irish head. I had cystic acne. I was not like a person who like later on in my career felt like I could be at the helm. So when I was still that guy, my dad said that,

I was like, no, no, no, no, trust me. Girls don't care. Once I started getting laughs, some of those pretty girls that never would have looked my way, when I finally got to know them, they'd be like, guys, never approach me. Guys, don't ask me out. They never do.

Or the guys that do are like, guys, that they're like, I don't, this dude's fucking weird. So, just remember that. Also, this is your time to. Try. That's you? That's me. Wow, so cute.

That's me, that's when I was like, fourth grade or something. Wow. But Jaime, this is your time to work on your act and focus on that. Oh yeah. But you know what, I tell people, you're 28. 28. Yeah.

The best years of my life had been in my 40s and my early 50s. Yeah, for sure. It's so good right now, all right? So just wait. It'll always be there. Yeah. All right, just focus.

Doesn't even mean that you have to wait that long. They could be better sooner as long as you're enjoying the moment that you're in. Can I be very honest? Yeah, I love honesty. I love honesty. Because a lot of people, like when I broke through, I was like 28, 29 and I went from being a welfare kid from Boston, then all of a sudden I was making money and I'm like, I'm turning no into yes. I'm getting everything that I'm- He was- I was there. The biggest thing on the planet. I was there. The biggest comedian for about 10 years. I was there and I remember watching it go,

I saw the sky rock. It was unprecedented. And I knew it. I was like, this is way beyond what I- Because him and I went to New Orleans with Vince. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Vince Vaughn and-

Back then, I knew, I was there when I saw the explosion and I'm telling you right now, there was no one bigger than him. That's right. It was insane. It was, it was insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, it was a long run.

And so I learned a lot about how people really treat you during that run, during like, you know, being like, being in the 90s, ass out, nobody cares about what I'm doing. There's literally like, and I'm scared. You know those gigs where you're driving from one gig that sucked to the next one. I used to say like, they don't give a shit. I called my mom and be like, they don't care that I'm scared. You know, those gigs where you're driving from one gig that sucked to the next one. I used to say like, they don't give a shit.

I called my mom and be like, they don't care that I'm fucking coming here and they're not going to give a shit when I leave. Yeah. And you do that for a long time and it's scary. But once you start, like, if you're doing your set, you're working on your shit and then you start to break through, then here's what's even

harder, then you're going to get phony balonies coming up to you and it won't be the right girls and it won't be the right friends. It'll be a lot of people that are like hangar honors and it's, that. Then you're gonna get phony balonies coming up to you and it won't be the right girls and it won't be the right friends. It'll be a lot of people that are like hanger oners and that's gonna be even rougher. Yep. That's gonna be even harder. And it's also.

But it was nice talking to you. Okay. And you can go back and hang with Ralph now. Okay. Your time is done here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The circle is complete. Yeah, yeah.

But also your career will shift, right? And you know things that are what was important to me 10-15 years ago in this business, it doesn't even exist anymore. Right. Right? You know now it's a completely different kind of business. So just live in the moment, do your best, work on your shit. It's all gonna work out yourself out there. You know what I mean? Now you're gonna So I you know, are you a film guy? Yeah, you watch you So you probably in your mind have your top ten best?

I do sure now are there films that you would suggest to these two people because I have a list of films, right? Yeah, what kind of films are we talking about? What just I just think that you know, is there let's suppose I'm I'm your son Yeah, all right. And what you being his son? Well, I'm not your strike. I'm your like. Yeah. All right. And why? You being his son. Well, I'm not your son. You're like adopted son Dango, right? All right. And I'm like, Dan, you know, I'm going to, what's your top five favorite movies that I want to watch?

And that's, you know, that I have to watch. Essential. Give me essentials. Your opinion. Oh, man. OK. So they can listen. All right.

Well, a couple of them, I feel like, are a little bit more rudimentary, but are still absolutely necessities. Mean Streets and Goodfellas from Martin Scorsese. Okay? Masterpieces. Mean Streets, you have to realize something. When he made that movie, essentially he was a nobody. You had Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci. But he did Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore before that, right? But then you had Mean Streets, Harvey Keitel, great movie. Mean Streets, Raging Bull, I mean, all these, anything Scorsese, but Mean Streets for me was like, this is where a guy, like where you're probably at, was like, nobody's really giving me a shot,

so I'm gonna fucking show people everything that I got, whether they like it or not. I'm not gonna pull back and try to be what the industry wants me to be, even though they don't want me, so I'm gonna give them this much because they're only giving me this much. I'm gonna give you this much, and you're giving me this much, I'm gonna give you this much and you're gonna be fucking choked

with the talent that I put together. So I would watch that, Mean Streets, and then Goodfellas like he did years later. It was almost like him saying like, hey, remember Mean Streets? Fuck all you sons of bitches. Now I'm gonna do it again with the budget, with the talent, same people,

same people basically were like, so those two for shit. What do you think, comedy wise? Let's go comedy next. Or give me a genre and I'll tell you. No, no, no, no, I mean, let's go top two horror. Shining is absolutely. A must have.

Okay, The Shining, you know this film? Yeah, but I've never seen it. Jack Nicholson? You've never seen it? You've never seen it? Do you like to be scared? Yeah. Okay, do you like provocative?

Yeah. This is a movie that takes provocative and scary and puts it together. Yeah. You like to jerk people off? Yeah, a lot. Yeah, yeah, and there's also a lot of... I don't know what the fuck.

I don't know what that was. That's stabbing. I don't know, cut it. I'm pretty sure that's stabbing. Cut that, cut that. I'm married, I'm a married man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's also a lot of hidden things in The Shining,

like conspiracies and different, people have their own, like, you know... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like they say Stanley Kubrick was the person who Supposedly helped film the fake moon landing and that he hid all these Little like for like for example the little boy and is wearing a movie This is like a Paula like it's a space shirt because he's a little kid So he hid all the things that potentially were yeah Yeah, maybe like there's some scenes where like a chair was there and then

it's missing in the other. Yeah, missing chairs. Yeah, different things. There's like a little hidden gems in there. So the shining. Give me another one. Another horror? Man, well.

I would say, I mean, I mean, I think hereditary. Ooh, it's a lot too, man. Do you like that? That was a lot. I mean, the performances were outstanding, but that's really, that is gritty and graphic. That one, I thought. I love that.

Okay, then I'll go with that. I mean, no, this is your list. I was just throwing up like- I like that when we do things cooperative. I like cooperative play. I like cooperative play. Like we would do Elden Spring together, right? Maybe I'm the horse and you're the guy with the-

Well, so that's a comedy I would say, either Young Frankenstein. Young Frankenstein for sure. It's just the comedy in it is- Blazing Saddle. Well, it's a comedy I would say either Young Frankenstein. Young Frankenstein for sure. It's just the comedy in it is. Blazing Saddle. Yeah, yeah. Any Mel Brooks. You won't believe some of the things that they say

in Blazing Saddle. You couldn't say them today. You couldn't say them, we said some of them on the podcast today, but you couldn't say most of what took place in Blazing Saddles. Also good luck Chuck, which you've seen. Yeah, yeah. Modern day classic.

Yeah, yeah. What about John like mind fuck, like old boy. That's suspense or drama you mean? Yeah, just like... Oh mind fuck movies. Mind fucks. You know some mind fucks? I know some mind fucks. Well, I mean, there's one...

One of my favorite movies of all time, it's even hard to say because I have a frame poster written in my bedroom, is Todd Sahlins' Happiness. Do you ever see that? It's so good. It is so good. It's so dark. Is that what she's talking about?

I don't even know, I don't probably know. You're right, she's not talking about that. Maybe cut that part out. But it's still an edgy weird movie Like like I'm thinking a movie like Yeah, Philips Ian Harvick. So good like phantasm 70s and be the ball remember the ball that would fly around like but this yeah, it was a mindfuck But it's still fantasy. It was fantasy fantasy

And also I don't think she's gonna I mean mean these people, the CGI and the kind of bullshit they've seen, I don't think they're gonna be able to, when they see, they saw Clash of the Titans in 1981, they would think it was garbage. Right. Because the graphics are so terrible. With the little owl that goes. I know, but we, just because of nostalgia

and also like we can go, well back then, I know they tried their best. Right, like Neverending Story for us was like. So good. The best. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what's a mind fuck um putsy so there's comedy um are you a sci-fi guy I love sci-fi yeah my jam that's it a top three sci-fi. I mean, Empire Strikes Back is unbelievable. Aliens, I have to go Aliens with the S first. The second one, the military one.

Yeah, I like the aesthetic. I just caught onto that one. I think Aliens is also classic. And then. Also, can I just say something about Aliens too? It's just that, I mean, when you see someone like Bill Paxton with that character, and you watch him, even as a kid when I saw that, I go, oh, that kid's a star. Like he took a role, and he just made it his own, and he basically said to Hollywood, no,

you're going to give me shit. His performance was like, this is what I think is a good performance. Yeah, yeah. When a person is doing their scene and someone just burped and I just like, I breathed it in. I just breathed it in. I just ate your lunch. Who burped?

Wait, who burped? You, you, you, Bobby burped. And it's in my, it's in my fucking lungs. It's in my lungs. No, no, it was like kielbasa. And then they're like some pill you took earlier. It was like a Tylenol or something. I got it all, Bob.

You got a burp that way, bro. You got a burp that way. You burped at the guy. Dude, I breathed in a sandwich. No, it was apple cider vinegar. It was more than apple cider vinegar, Bobbie Lee. It was, there was like lotion. All right.

I got everything. I'm so sorry. I got fucking everything in my mouth. I'm so sorry. His eyes rolled back. Did you get any of that? Dude, it was almost like, you know, like those food carts. When people are drunk late at night and you smell it, I got fucking everything in my mouth. His eyes rolled back. Did you get any of that? Yeah, yeah. Dude, it was almost like, you know, like those food carts, when people are drunk late at

night and you smell, you're like, damn it. That's what just came out of his fucking gullet. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Fuck! I'll drink some more coffee. Holy shit. I want to fuck, I need some of that scope and tense. So what else were we talking about?

Bill Paxton. Yeah, Bill Paxton. Oh yeah. Can I make the point? This is when you know something acting is really off the charts. When Bill Paxton's in the scene, he's mesmerizing. When he's even in the background, you're like, I wonder what he's talking about.

What's he saying? He's still interesting, even though he's not essential to that part of the scene. You're like, wonder what he's doing right now. They're all in the fucking bay with the face hugger, and you're like, where's Paxton? They're doing some fucking chin ups. He's probably gonna be like gonna get out of here man that's how good he's that guy so good you go ahead no Paxton is the

guy from twister right that is correct exactly okay I have a face yeah yeah very good very good yes aliens was he ripped in that movie? He was in decent shape. I don't think he had a short off scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? He was about 11% body fat. Yeah, some military people are doughy. Yeah, but 11% doughy.

Not like in the right places. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, flexible. What a great sci-fi movie. And also, so aliens, that. What about westerns? Bro, bro, don't get me started with the westerns. Let's go with the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let's talk about the unforgiven with Clint Eastwood.

Well I've seen that one time, is that good? Oh my gosh. Well tell me about it. The unforgiven? No, I've heard of it. Yeah, it's not... it is? It is. No, but tell me why. Let's just have just emotions. We don't even need to talk. Ready? The unforgiven. It's so good. It is. You're talking about quintessential Gene Hackman, okay? Gene Hackman, by the way, one of the,

he can do drama, and then watch The Birdcage. Oh my God, so much. How fucking funny is Gene Hackman reacting to Robin Williams, which by the way, that's on your list too, the birdcage. Okay, yeah. You know what, I'm gonna give you my number. We're gonna text.

We're gonna put a little chain together. I know he's not gonna be in it because he gets sensitive about some of the things that get thrown around in text. They're not gonna watch any of it. You will, at least one of these you should watch. Yeah, yeah. You guys give them a movie.

Yeah, now, yeah, let's go your generation. From our generation? How old are you, Dan? Me? I'm 52. We're the same age. I love it. March 18th. September 17th, I'm gonna be 53, I'm older.

How old were you guys when you met? Kids. Kids. Yeah. God, we were adorable. And I knew right away, I said, Bobby Lee? I was like, this dude's gonna fucking make it He's gonna be like a sky like one over 25 year 20. Yeah a long time. Wow. Yeah

And you're one of my favorite people to this day You know why because you're the fucking genuine article Bobbie Lee and I want you to be loved and you deserve to be loved well, you taught me a lesson and You know a lesson we won't talk about here. What's the lesson that I go ahead? Was it the hug moment? We've had a few heart to hearts over the years. Well, no, it wasn't that. Oh, I know.

He keeps throwing them off. Go ahead, then what is it? I used to have this thing that I did where I would like go up to guys and cling onto them a little too long. Or excess one night. a little too long. A little too weird. You know what I mean?

It's my dominance, my colony got dominance or whatever. And in retrospect, I just hated that behavior if I look back at it. But one day one night goes, all right, that's it. And you tackled me. Can I just say? I walked into the club, I saw him, and I knew he was gonna latch onto me like a koala bear. Yeah. And then it was this

like really it was like an aggressive hug thing that he would do. Yeah. So he does it. Yeah. And then he goes and then you go you know what you want to play games? And he did he doubled it. Yeah. He doubled down on it to the point where I couldn't move. I grabbed back. Yeah. We ended up on the floor. On the floor and I couldn't move. And I'm like kissing you and I'm like I love you. Yeah. And ended up on the floor on the floor and I couldn't move Whispers in your ear I go Yeah, and that was it and then you went I get I get I get I get I get I get I get I get I get I get no I get it. I get it So go ahead give me the movies you go first, yeah, yeah, so go ahead, give me the movies. You go first. Yeah, yeah.

By the way, we're killing it. Yeah, we're doing, this is a great one. Don't use that, but I feel it, it's gonna be a lot of views. This one's a killer. It is. Yeah. Can I also recommend shows, or does it have to be movies?

I don't care, sure. Well, when they're done with the game, just put it up, yeah. I agree with him as well. For movies. For movies. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. One movie I'd recommend is Three Idiots. It's an Indian movie. Uh-huh. And it's so good. It teaches you a lot about like the pressure of life. Like you don't have to be so focused on one thing. You can explore other stuff and it's just the best. I think it's the best movie you've ever seen. I like that because it's got heart and humor those are my two favorite things. Have you heard of three idiots? I've never heard of three idiots. Yeah either or which is weird. And oh there it is. He's so hot the one in the middle. He's hot. Oh yeah yeah. Amir Khan. Because he's got that thing right

where he's like I'm not hot but because of that I am ugly hot right is it Is it subtitles? Yeah, okay good all right so three idiots. Thank you three idiots. Yeah, okay You're never gonna see it. Are you no, please watch a lot about you. I like stuff. That's really unique You watch it first, and I like I like got captioned stuff You watch it first go ahead Jaime You watch it first. And I like, I like caption stuff. You watch it first.

Go ahead Jaime. From what period of time, just any? Anytime. No, I like No Country for Old Men. There we go. We stand up, we stand up, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. Really good one.

What is it about that movie that you like? Just that guy. Yeah. I forgot his name, but the way he just walks is cool. Yeah, yeah. The way he walks. Right, and he has that weapon. The air gun. The air. Air gun. Yeah, yeah, it's like an air shotgun. Yeah, I like that. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. The way he walks. Right, and he has that weapon. The air gun.

The air, yeah, yeah. It's like an air shotgun. Yeah, I like that. That's cool. Yeah, that dude right there. He goes, that's Javier? Yeah. Yeah, it's Javier Bardem. It's his name, yeah, Javier Bardem.

And then he goes, I'm gonna flip the coin, or whatever he says, right? Is that what he says? Yeah. Pick the head. You do the impersonation. You flip the coin, you choose your destiny, or something like that. Yeah. It really didn't change your voice. When he speaks for the edit can you put like some some music bumping underneath? Maybe yeah. Just like down to

get down. I've never seen you do accents. I do accents. So let's do an Asian one. Yeah. Okay try one. Will I get canceled for this? No no no because I'm telling you you can. Okay what kind of Asian? Oh, there's different provinces? He has varieties. Filipino? What? Yeah, try Filipino. How do you sound like Filipino? You don't know? I don't know. You flip the, it's Pilafino? Yeah, F in the P. You flip the P's and F's? Yeah, P's and F's. Pilafino. Give me a sentence. And you gotta kinda, in no offense, you gotta flatten your face.

Like make yourself like, almost like a pan. Yeah, yeah. Do it like this. Oh my god, fuck. Yeah. Man did. Bobby Chittle. Bobby Chittle.

That's still a little bit too, three dimensions. That's too topographical. It has to be really flat. What do you want me to say? Nothing, we're just kidding. Yeah. We're just joking, yeah.? Nothing, we're just kidding. Yeah. We're just joking, yeah.

Okay. Don't do an accent, yeah. Yeah, okay. I wanted to hear it though, but that was right, I was gonna rifle off a few other Western China, maybe like Dunhuang area. Ooh. Yeah, no, no, when I brought up that whole thing

about the girl and all that, was that bad or no? I mean, to put it out there. Can I be honest? As a person, I was very wordy. First of all, it was really, it was like a lot. And it was tough to come into orbit with you because it was like, wow, you're feeling so many feelings. We couldn't see the picture.

That would have helped too, to be able to see like what you're talking about. But I think where we landed was good. Okay, okay, thank you. But the takeoff was like a little bit like, ooh. I don't think it was. Yeah, I think it was pretty good. It was a little tricky.

Yeah, yeah, I think it was pretty good. Yeah, what do you guys think? Leave it in there? Yeah, leave it I thought it was pretty good. Yeah, what do you guys think? Leave it in there? Yeah, leave it in, leave it in, okay. I have to say, today's podcast was... Could we talk just a little bit about my tour? Yeah, we're not done. Oh, I thought you were wrapping up.

No, what the fuck, dude? No, you started to go into the fucking, I thought this podcast was a great... I was gonna segue into your tour. Oh, I fucked up. It's okay. We'll try again. Let me start again. You know what, I don't like was so good. I mean, right? Yeah. It felt, no, it felt so good.

It felt like. I haven't had fun like this in a long time. I mean, I loved all the guests, but I'm just saying this was like a different kind of joyful fun. You know what I mean? So everyone, thanks for listening. Good night. I mean.

No, so, Dane Cook, fresh new flavor. So you have, put your things on, no? So you have a new tour coming out. I'm on the tour now, yeah. You're on the tour now. Yeah. So September 21st, where are you gonna be? At the Beacon Theater.

Ooh. Where's that? New York City. Wow. You've never done the Beacon Theater in New York City? No, we played the other one. But anyway. You did it with the Bad Friends, right?

No, we played the, I don't know what it's called. The Beacon Theater is one of the best theaters in the country, bar none. Yeah, I mean, you deserve to be there. Yeah, it's gorgeous. You Chicago, we played the Chicago Theater with Andrew. Yeah, we liked that. We love that and then We'd rattle them off for

I'm not good at rattling. I mean your dates. Hi, mate. Can you rattle? Yeah, you rattle some of Dan's dates first on September 29 he's gonna be still house Omaha and Omaha, Nebraska. Uh-huh nice and Then if you miss him, I mean, I mean, yeah, okay The Kodak Center, the Hershey Theater, then there's a fire and we get to get out of here. Yeah. The Met, the Warner Theater, you don't have to cut out the dates. Oh yeah yeah I just say it all fast. Start from the top. September 21st, Beacon Theater. September 27th, Chicago. And begin. Okay. September 21st, the Beacon Theater in New York. September 27th, the Chicago Theater. It's fine, it's fine. The

Chicano Theater? Yeah, so let me go. Hershey Theater, October 11th. Yeah, so you don't have to read all these. All right, anyway, he's on tour. It's just on tour. If you like me, you're gonna go. Omaha, Rochester. Right. Yeah. And I've been... Hershey. Yep. And so I'm... Philadelphia.

Are you gonna do this whole tour and then are you gonna end it with a special? I'm gonna film something else at the end of the year. Yeah. All right. And then how many specials do you have? A lot, right? Like six?

Eight. Eight. Yeah. Albums and specials, like eight to 10. Like eight to 10, yeah. But I got one coming out now called Gritty in Pink. Gritty in Pink. That I'm doing a distribution deal right now and then we'll film something

at the end of the Fresh New Flavor Tour. Wow. Yeah. Amazing. I love it, man. Don't you love it? I do. I love stand-up comedy.

It's the greatest thing. No, I do love it. It's the best. I do. I love all of it. Andrew, if we didn't have it, who would we be? We'd kill ourselves. I'd kill myself.

What would we do at night? Nothing. Fucking just sit around and. Well, you know, I saw this documentary about Dayton, Ohio and how like over the years it's not doing well. Yeah. The city. Yeah.

The infrastructure and all the companies are moving away. And it was an hour documentary, pretty grim. Yeah. And I was watching it. You know what I mean? I was eating my acai bowl. Okay. With the peanut butter. Yeah. And I was watching it, you know, I was eating my acai bowl with the peanut butter. Right. And I was eating Panda Express. All together? Yeah, because of my

breath. When you burped. I know, exactly. It singed something in my mouth. It was one of the worst things I've ever experienced with you. I'm actually really upset about it more than I even let on. That's my bad. That's really my bad. Bro. But I was watching. I was watching. Bro. No, no, my bad. You ever like by mistake,

somebody's foot or something goes in your mouth, like you're wrestling around and all of a sudden you're like, what the? That's what it was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like one of the most disgusting. Just let it go maybe. It was putrid.

It was putrid. Okay, thank you. That's the last thing I'll say about it. Okay. I wish I could conjure up a burp and I would come over and I would kiss you and I'd blow it into your lungs. Cut that.

Cut all this. Anyway, I was watching this grim documentary and I felt so much empathy for these people, but then it made me realize how, you know, I should be so much, I'm great. Anyway, I don't know why I'm saying this. Anyway, take a round of applause, everybody. Take a round of applause.

Thank God. Thank God. Take a round of applause everybody. St. Cook.com!