TigerBelly - Dillon Francis & The Gucci Turntable

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Dillon Francis is back for a 3rd time and Bobby improvises a club scenario. We chat jazz history, knowing our dads, DJ handoffs, German accents, rating DJs, Maroon 5, and Asian maps.  New players can play just FIVE BUCKS and get FIFTY INSTANTLY in Casino Credits! Download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code TIGERBELLY. Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code BELLY at checkout--just pay $5 shipping. That’s www.bluechew.com promo code BELLY to receive your first month FREE. Visit www.bluechew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to www.joinbilt.com/belly

Miles Davis, at his heighten height, okay. He was in New York, dude, he's the biggest jazz, like one of the biggest musicians in the country. He's at a New York club about to perform. He's standing outside. A cop goes, hey man, get out here. He must have to say, because he's got his trumpet. Yeah.

Right? And might as I know, I'm performing. Get out, beat it. I'm not going to leave. I have to go up. A guy that's signed by Columbia Records, dude. He should have hit Sean Combs. You know what I mean?

Where was that cop during Sean Combs? The stuff, huh? Where was he then? Where was he then? But I love Jack. But I love Jack. Enough with you all, I just have that 50 hours? I did 50 hours of jazz.

In Hawaii. In Hawaii. Do you want a boiling crab again? No, I did. But I'll tell you what I did eat. Amacasta by on. I went to strip steak one night. Strip steak.

I also went to, um, Fett. Did you hike? I didn't know. But you asked. that they climb for trail, like hiking trails. I know.

But the only trails that I like go on is the Ho Chi Man one. That's in Vietnam, baby. Makes no sense. Nothing makes sense, dude. I was up two hours last night. Why? What's you gonna do?

Gaming? There's no game to play. You've got to buy PS5. You know what you gotta do? Shut your mouth. But what about PS5s? And you Google I. But also, thank you for so much

for what you did. Is it you or somebody? What do you mean? Go to a hotel in Hawaii. I opened my fridge. You can thank my wife. And there's a cake. Oh.

Two Diet Coke's. Two sugar-free red Bulls and a happy birthday mat. Me and Jorge Kimmel. You do that? Yeah. Well, thank you so much, man. Buh, I love me.

You know, they're fucking complaining, the jazz people. You know who has the saddest stories, Billy Holiday. you know about her at 12 can I say that sure you made that so heavy in this sentence you know I I emphasize that pull back pull back what you say okay so at 12 sounds more natural right prostituted then to start prostituting

I didn't not know in between like her prostitution gigs are you called a gig? That sounds more like a I got to show is it Appointment. Yeah. She would go and sing. Anyway, she, you know, and then once people heard her sing, they're like, whoa. She is the best.

That's her, Jules. Dude. In my solitude. Oh, my. In my solitude. I don't know what the rest of the lyrics are, but. That's enough. That's pretty good.

You know what I mean? But it's so sad. Like, she's just like, she's so beautiful. but all jacked up on drugs, opium, died at the age of 44, this woman. 44 years old, right? Am I right or wrong?

This jazz documentary, I know, here's another... What's it called? What's it called? Kenber's Jazz. Of course. Here's another thing I learned. I don't know why I know this,

but Louis Armstrong died at 1971, and Duke Ellington died in a number. 1974. I don't know I just remember I memorized. Bro, you really have this all memorized. And my... Okay, that's it. That's him. Louis Armstrong, dude. What the best. I saw

10 episodes of this nightmare. How long are they? 81. So a little over an hour. Each one. Almost a hour and a half's, right? The gift is how long is the gift? Oh my God, 108. Yeah, how long is that? A little under two hours? I saw 10.

these okay in a hotel room in a hotel room on the TV at least till a late night what on a TV on my iPad yeah my son in my sound like anyway um I also dude that so can I just say this I didn't you know I've been trying to not to masturbate and I wait it lasted nine days and when I was in Hawaii that's good do I had like my guy was like just up for war I don't know what it was I'm up, I'm ready. You know what I mean? I was like, no, we're taking a break. But he was just up there.

He was like, let's do it. You know how like in the Olympics, in the black, they would use to get the gold? They still do. Back in the 30s. I don't know, but then they did the protests. And the 60th, they would protest. That's what my dick was like.

He was protesting? Protesting like this, right? With a little black hand, right? And that right? Oh, your dick has a black. He has a little black hand on it, right? Oppression. And I was like, dude, I'm not trying to oppress you.

You know what I mean? Get your glory. But then one night, I just kind of stroked it a little bit. But, guy, I couldn't believe what had happened. He cried. He cried. Of victory tears, dude, because he won the gold. Anyway, I haven't slept in a couple hours.

I don't think we should do a podcast right now because I don't even know what I'm talking about. But, you know, if you want to be bored to hell, watch this jazz talking about by Ken Burns. I really highly recommend it. But you know what? Here's another thing that says, I want to learn about how it all works. What?

Like, swing. Okay. You know what I mean? And you have to understand that back in the day, the most popular music of all time was swing, jazz. You know what I mean? And it kind of shaped our country, dude. Right? So it's like, you know, why can't we learn about it?

I think it used to be good and then it got bad. Now it became all experimental, so nobody like. Back when it was swing and had rhythm and you could dance to it. It was good. And then, I don't know what happened. You hit it on the bones, dude. Well, what did he hit? Then white people started doing it, and it started this song.

What? Here's what it is. Not him. What do you mean? Dancing. So guys like, the lonious monk. I know that is. John Coltrane.

Right? These kind of guys were like, they called it avant-garde. Right? So then they started like, you know, the drummer can do whatever he wants. Like they're like they're not in, right? You know what? And people are like in the clothes trying to dance to them. But they can't get a rhythm to.

They can't get a rhythm to. They're like, you know. But let me say something too. I'm going to die alone. No. What? Oh. Yeah, I'm going to die alone.

I got nothing. Because I want super hot. I have to be honest. I like the super hot. and maybe I should downgrade Is that Bha-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-paw-b-b-b-d-d-dungrade I miss my dad

I mean, that's what I'm trying to say That's what I'm trying to say I miss my dad You watch, out of sadness, a 50-hour documentary because you miss your father Well, I mean, because the Ken Burns documentary The Vietnam War is great World War II is great

I've seen all of them. That's how I know about history Yeah, I know about it And so I thought Maybe I'll know about jazz But you know what? I'm glad I saw it. Dude, they could do a fucking

10 hour fucking document about EDM. I'll watch it. Your shit. Boom, boom, boom. You like that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know the history of EDM or no?

No, I don't. Yeah, me either. Anybody? No, can I ask you why are you thinking about your dad now? Because I was scrolling through my photos and the selfie that I took of my dad. You know how they did?

that thing on your phone. I don't know why they do this, but I remember this? Yeah, yeah. Those things. Yeah, yeah. So it didn't remember this on my phone did. Hey, thanks. I don't want to remember that. Thanks, phone. Yeah, yeah. So it shows that and they showed me and my, like, because I took a photo of the moment my dad, my dad died. And my mom's reaction to it and my brother's reaction to it. I was high as fuck, so I was like, I'll just be fucking, you know, a photographer.

Good way to cope. So anyway, I, um... Were you close with your dad to Bobby? You do, de, do. What? Were you close with your dad? Tito, teut, te, too. Or was he always beating you?

No, no, I mean, no, I... Constantly. I love, I love... No, I was pretty close to him. He chilled out the last 20 years of his life, but I, um... You know, it's because of the language barrier. I just don't know what he believes. I don't know anything about him, really.

I know like snippets of his past You know what I mean But I don't know feelings I think that You get to know somebody Based on how they felt And they you know And I just don't know

What he was feeling about anything Was he loving? Yeah he would go And kiss you on the lips and stuff Or I love you You know and all that stuff That's great for an Asian parent Yeah that's pretty good

But anything outside of that There was nothing like How did you What happened here why did you do this? I just don't know anything about him. What's your point of view about anything? I don't know.

So I don't know what he believes. I don't know his opinions about anything. And it's like you don't really know a guy. You know, if there's that... I mean, I know that there's inherent love, which is good. And I know that if there was an afterlife, which I don't think there is anymore, but I know you do.

I do. I know. I'll probably see you there. Okay. Anyway, Do you believe in afterlife? No. I know, me either.

So anyway, maybe I'll see him there. But my, okay, what are we talking about? My dad? Why are we talking about my dad? She asked the question. She was curious if you... Yeah. What about your dad?

What about your dad? What he was saying? Like, do you know things about him past the surface? I don't know my real dad. That's who I'm talking about. Oh, my real, real dad, no. Yeah, the handsome one.

What is that... No, I love you. No, Giovanni's handsome, too. Your step doesn't have handsome. He's a little chunky. I don't know anything about him So nice But your dad is like

Serfer Filipino guy His body is like a skater Yeah He was a cool guy Yeah cool guy But he was always stone Yeah Oh

Drilled your mama You've never Rolling the pieces Jazz And he was younger My mom was 27 He was 20 Wow

Young sperm Yeah You don't know anything about him No, nothing. Did he ever call you? No, but I know he's in Korea right now and has two daughters. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has her two.

Yeah. It's funny, if I had any daughter, you know, I would think about that person all the, wouldn't you? Even if I fucked Alex, this guy right here, right? And you had a vaj. Yeah, that's a big badge. And we were like, we were working at a meatball. Very big. That's like crazy.

Too big? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's too big. It's a buff muff. It's a buff muff. Was he here? Does he still do the intro? He doesn't leave. Oh, damn, you're so OG, bro.

I don't think he... He doesn't? He doesn't. He hasn't been lately. When he, like, basically says, don't fucking talk. I think therapy might have changed that. But we should bring it back for this one, because you... I think you bring out some dark out of him.

I do. He was already pissed off when he's... Why don't? We should make the guest just talk for not let Bobby talk for as long as they want. Oh, can you actually help with this? How about you intro and tell him to shut the fuck up? I will. Hey, do you explain?

I will. Yeah, yeah, start our show. Shut the fuck. There we go. This is incredible, by the way. Oh, that's incredible about it. Oh, fuck. See, I knew it.

The darkness comes out of him. There is. There is. You have a dark bringing around your bun hole? Maybe. I don't know. I haven't looked in a mirror. Okay.

I think it's pink for white guys. Are we starting? Shut the fuck up. That's what I said. Shut up. Hold on. I'm starting the podcast so you can't talk until I say your name. Because that's how this podcast goes.

So shut the fuck up. Stop. Forget that. Yeah. Welcome, Bobby Lee. How do you. How do you? Are you, dude?

That's what he asked. That's you all day. That is me all day, dude. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of all that, dude. I'm tired of all that shit, man. Join real life, dude. I should.

You know what I think? We don't all live in the club. I do. I know, okay? There's trees and nature, too. I've never seen. And waterfalls and hiking and all that kind of stuff, right? I'm only in Vegas at night, so it's just desert and heat.

I know. Are you there next weekend? I'm here. They're Wednesday. Oh, this Wednesday? Yeah. How long do you stay till? For the whole day.

I know, but you leave the next day? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Could I go Friday? Oh, yeah, I'm not going to be there. Okay. I'm going to go see Maroon 5. Anyway, I'm going to see Maroon 5.

But anyway, um, anyway, Dylan Francis. We got him here, dude. Third time. The third time. Second. Third? You've done three, buddy. Oh, yeah, I've done three.

You're right. So you did two in the old hot place. Wow. So you haven't been on here for what? Years. Years. Yeah. I've never seen this room.

It's a garage. I've never seen this garage. Yeah, yeah. It looks like a room to me. Yeah. Are you still in the same relay? What? The relationship?

Yeah. Oh, that's, I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm so happy for you. Because the last time we saw each other, I did you one of your music videos. Yeah. Oh, man, six years ago. Look at how fucking, oh my God.

How young do I look? Do I still look the same? You look the same. I do? Yeah. Yeah. That's good. You look the same, dude.

Yeah. Anyway, can we not do that? So I did, what was the song called, what I did the song? Rainy. That, that. Yeah, that's where you were eating. We made you be a fake. Yeah, yeah, there you are.

TikToker. Oh, okay. Yeah. Dude, I literally look like margar and butter. Like a stick of margar and butter. Dude, you look amazing. Yeah, yeah. This is the best thing I've ever seen, yeah.

The glizzy takedown. Yeah, yeah. Jules, what do you think? Pretty good. Pretty good. The best noises I've ever heard. I'm wondering, there she is. Now, this Asian lady, what's her name?

Riyami. Riyami. Incredible. Yeah. She's so awesome. No, I'm not going to make fun of her, dude. Okay, good, push, pause. You don't want to watch yourself dance?

I don't want to watch myself dance. Me neither. Yeah, yeah. But thank you so much for inviting me on that. Dude, are you kidding? Thank you for being on it. Are you crazy? And then she...

I couldn't believe that you wanted to do it. Guy. Guy, guy... I always get scared to ask friends to do things because I always think that they're just going to be like, no. Guy, can I tell you, kind of call you guy? Yeah. I've always liked you.

I've always liked you, too. And you've always been a kind guy, and I know that you're a very successful person. And of course I'd like to get involved in things that you do. I love that. And have we worked on other things before? No, I really want what would Diplo do to come back just so we can do. You had nothing to do with that? I had nothing to do with it at all.

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safety information and we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. Are you nervous? Do you like him? No, be honest with you like him.

Who? Look at my fucking out, be the eyes, dude. I'm tired of this Hollywood fucking DJ bullshit, okay? Oh, yeah. Classic Dillon. You like Diplo. Yeah. But how much? A lot through 10. Great.

10. 10. Okay, this is a good test. This is a fun test. But is this 10? Because if this next guy's a 10 too, he's lying. Oh. Steve Ayoki. 10. See? So no one? So no one's a four. Throw another one. Throw another one. What?

Z, Zed. Zed. Zed. He's a 10. Whoa These are all my friends Really? Yeah Why would I say that they're four

Is daft punk a thing? That's a thing Yeah Do you know them? No Def Punk? Okay So that's

I mean they're great All right All right Let's go to this Okay, how about this? All right There's no Dead mouse a four

There's a really Oh yeah There's no way You're like Carl Cox I don't even know him There's no way You're like Not a real name

Yeah yeah That's his name There's no way Like Carl Kahn Look at him He doesn't look like a DJ No he is He looks like

No, he actually, his family owns the Cox, the Cox internet company. Can I see your crevias glasses, please? That's what he's looking at. All right, so, marshmallow. He's a 10. He's a nice guy. So you have people you know. He's political man.

I'm a political man. Or have you ever done a show with any of these guys? Yeah. All right, so you're, you're doing it, right? Yeah. Right? And how do you pass it up? Like, let's say I'm DJing with you, right?

Yeah. And I'm like, right? Right? And I do the knob Right and I go And I look at you and I go Then I go Does that what do I do this?

No no you walk off What? Yeah you walk off because the next person comes on And plays Oh so there's no two areas No so then you walk off and you'd go have fun bitch Well can we do a two area Yeah can that ever happen

Yeah we can do a back to back So there's so there are times There are two areas Yes So then if let's do we're in two areas I'll slow down my Two area Let's see we're doing two area

Back to back. Okay, back to back. Yeah. That's what we're doing back to back, right? And I'm going. Uh-huh. Do you know when I'm going to stop or do I do a... You just want to do that, huh?

I just want to do this. No, we're not doing that. Yeah. No? Oh, right? Yeah. All right, so how do you know when he's done? I would know when you're done because you would look at me and be like,

songs almost done. Oh, so you do one of those. Mix in. But that's giving away to the audience. So you and I would know. What? That's not giving away to the audience. Yeah, yeah, it is. No, no, this is what I would do.

I'd go. Like something where you, like, if I give you a certain look, you know, the song's done. I would know from that look. So I would just go. I would know. Like this, right? Yeah, I would know. And then what would be your look to me when you're done?

And I'd just laugh. That's your look to me when you're done? Yeah. No, no. My look to you would be. See, that's right. And I'll take that look, right? And go.

and go into the music. And then I wait there for you to come back. Yeah, yeah, and I go. There's no music. And I go back. Yeah. They do it. Dude, we don't even need music.

That would be a good job. So let me ask you this. Do you like, do I hate these DJing questions? No, I don't mind them. Yeah. Oh, see, a double. Him and. Yeah.

See, we did back to back. Oh, those are back to back. Yeah. And that's in DJ. That's a, oh, DJ. So that's where he plays a couple. I play a couple. Who's that other guy?

That's Diplo. He's a 10. Oh, so every Wednesday. you do a show with Diplo? Every now and then we'll do a back-to-back in Vegas. I met him once.

Very nice guy. He is. Yeah, I met his family. It's an encore. You know what's funny? He actually never... Sorry, I shouldn't have talked over you. That's a lot of people.

I forgot about that. It's a lot of people. Do you get scared? No. Bobby, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. We do do a lot of faces to each other. All right, so there you are with them, right?

every Wednesday. Be completely honest with me, pal. Because next Friday, next Friday, I'm going to Maroon 5. And I want to brag, but, you know, I'm getting a little backstage, you know. You're going to meet with Adam. You're going to meet Adam.

I want to be with Adam. You're going to touch his abs? That we'll talk. We'll start there. The abs stuff will talk later. Yeah. So with your situation, FYI, hypothetically,

for your information. Yeah. right thanks I didn't know that we just wanted to let you know right yeah is YUD oh no Y Y Y O no W YD okay what you doing

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm just learning What are other acrony yeah yeah yeah keep going I don't know IDK L L L L L A M M M M O L L LF of my ass off apparently Let's move on from those

acronyms let's move on for that so it's hypothetically FYI if I'm in Vegas on a Wednesday could I be in that Oh You would be up with us I don't want to be where the people are

Could I just be in the bag Where my sunglasses and Yes And just going Yeah Yeah right Absolutely I could

You would be in the VIP with me And then are the Hoochie Mamas there? Yeah Yeah There's humpback humpback hoochie mhmus Yeah I love the Hoochie Mamas So like let's suppose

Because you're you're already taken Yeah And so is Diplow Yeah Well no he's not Are you single again? I think he's been single for his whole life. Oh, I didn't know.

All right, so I'll let Diploa get, you know, he gets the food first, the trough. He gets the trough. Yeah, he's the alpha. I mean, in that situation, right, it's like, okay, there's the buffalo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Diplow's a ship and you're in the wake of his ship. Oh, no, no, no, I don't like that. I don't like that analogy. I don't like that.

I'm a ship, too. Yeah, but you're like a tiny ship. A smaller ship, but not tiny. I mean, I would almost consider you a buoy. Like a shrimp boat? No, no. I don't know. I would just continue one of the buoys that's bobbing there in the back. Well, anyway, does the buoy get the fucking hoochie mama?

Yeah. Okay, good. People got to hang on to something. Right. So once he's at the trough eating and I'm waiting in line, will I get at the trough or no? Or does he just hoard a lot of food? I don't know. Okay. Answer in the analogy, please. You would get to the trough, but there would be slim pickings of like, you know, there'd be pieces of apples left, but not the good parts. Are you good to win wingman?

Yeah. Okay, so let's I'm in the... What's that area called when you're doing that thing? The backstage area. Do you think there was a cooler name?

No, no, no. I think he's misunderstanding what I'm saying. I think he knows. I don't think I'm... I think you're misunderstanding. May I be more specific? Yes. Okay.

So you're up there, right? Uh-huh. I'm on stage. You're on stage, right? Yeah. And I'm like literally right behind you. Yeah, so that would be the back of the...

No, no, no, no. Because backstage has a wall. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're thinking of the green room. What? That's the green room. Oh, that's the green room.

Yeah. All right, backstage. Yeah, you would be, yeah, yeah, okay. Midstage. I will say, I'm gonna be midstage. I will say, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm gonna be right by you. I'm not gonna be way back there

at the end of the fucking back of the stage. I'm gonna be like, literally like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be in the VIP. So I'm at the, you could wingman. Yeah. All right, so I'm, you know, with my sunglasses, I'm gonna have like a cholo vibe.

Just click my hair back. You know, what do you call those? I don't want to call them wife beater, but that's what they call them? You can say that. White heater. I'm wearing wifebeater, right? And I have my cholo vibe, right?

Do you play Cypicella over? Yeah. I can play Cyberset for you. I'll make you do Cypercell. What song? Insane in membrane. Or something like that, right? Okay, yeah, yeah.

And like some hoochie moments are coming. And I would go, yeah. Is there an opportunity for you to like not do the turntable stuff? Yeah, then I would go over to them and like, you guys, you know that kind of? over there? Yeah, was he? He has so much weed.

Go to him. Really? That's the move. Oh, that's, but I don't have any. I know, and good thing you don't, because you would get kicked out. Oh. So, they come up to me, you got the weed? Well, they can't get weed?

Yeah, and you're like, hey, shut the fuck up. Biches? Yeah, yeah. We got to leave. Give me another drug that they can't get. That they can't? Yeah, because weed, they can get anywhere. Well, not in the club, though.

People have weed on there in the club. They got to be real. They'll get kicked out. Dude, they like check everything. Really? Yeah. So if you have... Between the toes?

They'll take people's gum. Between the toes? Yeah. Between the toes, no one knows. That's the class. That's a great song. Yeah. Right.

Let's write that one up. Please feature him on a song. Yeah, so... I would love to. That would actually be amazing. But give me a drug that they would like... What's a good, like, um... Yo, he's got Robitussin.

Dude, is that good? He's got the Tuzzin? Yeah, yeah. Is that good? I'll get the Robitzen. Yeah. Is that Bobby Lee? Triple C's.

Yeah. Yeah. What about this? Is he sick? Ammium. No, no, no, he's not sick. Is it amodium a drug? I don't know.

You're selling it to me. Why you, my name is Sarah. Oh, sorry, sorry. Sorry, Sarah. Did you stomach hurt? Hey, you're pretty weird. Sarah. No, no, no, no.

Sarah, Sarah, check it out. No, no, no, no. Hey, bro. Sarah. Why did your accent change? Oh, because I got more in this for my classes. Oh, okay.

And also cypers spells, but what's up, yeah, yeah. So, hey, you stomach hurt? No. Do you got diarrhea? No. Move on then. No, no, no, you gotta-

Because I have a modium-a-D, dude. What is that going to help her? No, no, you gotta go, you gotta go, do you hate pooping? Oh my God, I hate pooping. Bro, that's why I'm, that's why you're here. Yeah, and then she's, then you're like, yo, I got this emodium right here. This is the best drug you'll ever have.

Hey, you want poop? Mamasita. Yeah, yeah. I'm white. You hate pooping? Yeah, yeah. Damn, these girls are tough. Right.

They're hitting you with the, I'm white. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, let that one go. Let that one go. So after the pooping light, I'll come to you, I'll go, what else do I say? All right, yeah, you got weed now. You got weed? No, no, don't ask her for them.

No, I don't. You don't have any? They took my stuff at the security. Hey, Dylan, this shit doesn't have any. Here, take all these geek bars and pass them around. You want a geek? Tell me what that is. It's a vape, you stupid bitch.

Fuck, hey, this Dylan guy is kind of sexy. The way he talks to me. I'm taking. Are we the geek squad? Yeah, we're the geek. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, okay, so, you'll be good to win. man. I would. Thank you. I got you.

And then, okay, so if I go Wednesday night, would you go, Jules? Yeah. Yeah. You would you really? Yeah. You'd be a good wingman too. And you would go back to, back midsad stage with me. No, I want to be with the people. She doesn't want to be able. She's not a good wingman. Yo, you see her, she's just like

wiggling through the crowd, getting away from you. So you wouldn't hang out with Diplow and Dillon Francis, any of these fucking fools? That's a cool hang I would but I don't know I don't know them Okay So after the show

What do we do? Well you can go to Diplo's after party That's when I go to bed We do We do We could go to What we would do Is we would go to the roulette table

And you would be able to smoke there This is Charlie Day looking Motherfucker over here What do you bring these Fucking white Industry people over here, man. I told him he didn't have to come, but he still wanted to. Look the way he sits, like, all like an artist.

I don't like it. Anyway, good to see you, man. Great call out. Good call out, dude. So, hey, what would we do after? So we'd go to the roulette table and we'd hang out. Well, first, I would say, I would say, good show. I would say, thanks. Where are you going, Alex?

Did you want me to do a fucking Christian Biel Maltown right now, dude? You don't walk during my talking, dude. I knew it was going to have. I know. So, good show. Thanks, man. You ready to go to the roulette table? Can we talk about it? Hey, you ready to go to the roulette tables? Talk about your show first? No, no. Bobby, we're on a time clock. If you want to have sex with someone tonight,

you need to get to the roulette tables and start smoking cigarettes and you need to build a stack. Dylan, the honest truth, the reason why I would go over there is just for a head to hang with you. We could hang the whole night. So would we get, do you know any spots that are special to eat? Oh, hell yeah. We would go to. tacos el Gordo. Is it open to the public? Yeah. I love it.

And they have the best tacos. Yeah. Have you not eaten there before? Is it open to the public? Oh, he wants private. Oh, he wants to go. I'm going to tell you a gross story. Here we go.

Can I take you a gross story? Yeah. Right? It's the first time this has ever happened. So I used to... What are you laughing at me? Do you guys know this story? No, but your smirk already...

No, it's the first... This is a gross story. Okay. Right? So I was at the Playboy Comedy Night. Okay. At that Palm.

and I was headlining. And I was about to go on stage, Cort McCowan, who was a comic, but he also the manager of the thing. He goes, hey, some people came in to see you. And I go, who is it? He goes, it was David Spade, Anthony Kedis,

and Sasha Baron-Cullen. I kid you not. Holy shit. I kid you not. So I go, oh, what is he? I go, what are they doing here? They're like, Anthony brought them to see. you. Right? So I did okay set. So then afterwards they came up to him and they were like,

you want to go eat with us. Wait, can I ask you a question before we. Oh my God. What? What? I felt like we were going to have something in common because, you know, Okay, go ahead. Let's just bond. Yeah. How did it, how did it, so when you heard that these people were coming to see you, did you, did you think that you're like, yeah. Do I need to change any jokes to make it funnier? Do I need to, do I need to not? I don't know. Did you get, it's so condescending what you're saying. It's so condescending what you're saying, because what you're saying to me is this, right?

Hmm, tonight I'm going to be, I'm going to do my mid jokes. Oh, nice uses your mid. Yeah, I'm going to do my mid jokes that kind of get a laugh. Like a warm reception. What the fuck are you talking about, man? No, I, like when you're not fucking DJing out there,

you're going to put the jams out, dude. Well, no, that's what I'm saying. That's not the jam. I'm saying. You have David Spade and Sasha Baron Cohen, and you got to... I was so nervous because I just, you know, I, you know, I was so nervous.

So nervous. Yeah. You have to imagine. Because at that time, I really had nothing going on. I was just a road comic, really. You know what I mean? I would do little things here and there, but I... You weren't on Mad TV yet?

It was after, I think. It was after. It was after. Or maybe during. That's so funny that you think that you weren't... That you... You didn't have anything going on. Coming off of Mad TV is insane.

In my mind. But in your mind, you have to say, we got no money, and nobody watched it. I watched it. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah.

That's why I love coming out to this. Thank you so much for watching. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Would you eat today? Oh, my God, that was a nut. I had McNameenic. He nutted.

He nutted. Anyway, so afterwards they go, oh, my God. I'm going to go eat. So there was a steakhouse at Caesar's Palace. They had rented out or, or, you know what I mean? Well, no, what it is, they cut half, they closed half of the restaurant,

And I remember there was like a, like a, what do you call them? Let's play shreds. Okay. Let's play some charades. Let's play some charades, right? It's like there's a pole and there's like a little. Looks like another pole and another. A volleyball net.

I don't know what you call that. Oh, oh, oh. Was it red? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's it called? What is that called? Oh, my God. It's like a gold post.

Yes. But with a red, kind of like an old-timey-looking red little thing. Red velvet rope. A red velvet rope. Yeah. Is that what it's called? Yeah. But there's a name for.

Yeah, what is the name? The backstage. Roped off. It's roped off. The BIP. Thank you. It was roped off by a velvet rope. That's what it's called?

Yeah, I don't know. So they roped it off, and I remember us eating in this kind of half of the restaurant that was completely empty. And it was the center table. and then back then That's Crowd controls Crowd control

Stanchions Oh we had a bunch of stanchions There was a bunch of stanchions Okay Stajon Yeah so But I remember a crowd of people I'm talking about hundreds of people

Just staring at you Just watching us eat And you liked it There was something about it was like Because I ate more Better What changed the way you were eating I remember just

I did the whole etiquette thing, right? I remember, like, I chewed, like, very good, right? I chewed, like, the appropriate amount, right? Right? I sliced the right way, right? And I was very, like, very, like, you know,

proper about it. Because people were watching me. And then I would laugh, whenever, I wasn't listening because I was so nervous being there, that I would just laugh when everyone else laughed. It's like, ah, ha, ha, ha, yeah, like, I was molested or whatever on my, I don't know what I was. You know what I was? You know what I, but I would, it was like that nerve-wracking.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Because I had never been a situation like that before. Sometimes being a very popular DJ. I've been in that situation. You're in situations. Are like, whoa, this is weird? And then in your mind, are you like going, I can't believe, I like, you act right? Yeah. Do you say

that yourself in your mind? Yeah. Like, what situation? Give me a situation. Please, tell us. Please, please, Dill. I'm trying to think of, uh... He doesn't have one. I do, I do. This is so embarrassing. No, I do. Dude, we'll edit that part out.

It's so sad what... Dude, it's so sad what you're doing right now, dude. Don't save it. Oh, God. Yeah, no, I got one. Let me see it again. Let me see it again. Okay.

Yeah, so that was crazy. You know? Yeah, I got one. It's right now. I know. You know what I'm talking about? Tell me about this situation. No.

What? I don't know. I don't have one. You really don't have one? I do, but it's not, it didn't happen. I can't, I'm really bad at going back in my memory and remembering, like, the specific situation, but I can. So it must have not been that important to you? No, it wasn't.

So those events, then, do you weren't nervous then? I mean, yeah, I was. If you don't know. Okay, it was like, it was like a, uh, I had a session with a producer. there we go to you that that is it we completely

every single time I would try to make something he would then try to make something and I'd be like oh that's really cool but no we should kind of do this

that way but that's really really not the same oh my god that is exactly the same I'll tell you what's that because I'm lying and saying that it's really cool

and it's not it fucking it sucks but I'll tell you why it's not why it's not say his name but it's famous yeah Quincy Jones

no but is it that level. No. Quincy. That session sucked. Fuck Quincy Jones, honestly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, but it was that big of a guy. Yeah. And then you were like, he was giving you, like, this is the way we're going to do it. Yeah. And it was hard for you to go, but what about? Yeah, because you're like, well, you wait, hold on. He has Grammys. I don't.

Right. Why am I? Why do I think this sucks? Forrell. Yeah, he sucked. It wasn't for a while. Yeah, it was. Fuck you.

There's no way it was. wasn't. Yeah, he's a legend that guy. I love him. Brol looks like a future person, though? He's a very future. Yeah, yeah. There's something about like, he's the wise. What? What? I'm sorry. I'll take my jacket off. Okay, take it off. Are you sweating now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing great though.

It made me sweat. This is a fun podcast. Good. Yeah, take your jacket off. I am. Jules, do you have a moment like that? No, never. Oh, damn. She's lying. You've never been in a situation where you were like, try to act cool here. Well, try to act cool. Like, maybe, like, meeting, like, new people, especially in college.

You just want to, like, make a good impression with them, especially, like, in a party. That makes sense. Especially with, like, cool girls. Like, you want to be, like, cool. Was Lindsay Lohan there? No. Just popular girls. Oh, that must be a thing.

Yeah. Popular girls. Yeah, I wish I could get that back. Not you. I wish. You want to go back there? Not that. Her situation, but I want to go back.

Not even before. Back in the day, when you're in high school, and you go to party and you go, oh, fuck, why do I say that? Or, like, you just get consumed over stupid things. You don't even remember, really, but it was a big deal then. I wish I could just go.

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You're you, okay? And you want to say a message to your younger self. Let's see he's 16. Yeah. Right? And the only way you know is like he's like going to be at a party. How do you approach your own younger self? Will you know though?

Like what I look at like, like, I know that I would look at my younger self and go, that was me, because I lived it. But he doesn't know what I look like older. Well, he looks like older, right? like he's like not gonna see this fat fucking guy with a mustache. Like, there's no way. Yeah, there's no way. He would be so disappointed. Like, that's what happened, right?

He would just get out and who's a big vet or something. Yeah, but then you'd be like, yeah, that's why you have to do. All right. That's how you do. Yeah, yeah. Don't ever eat rice or carbs or sugar. Only meat. Or look at this.

Only meat. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Only meat. Yeah, yeah. In 10 years, there's going to be a carnivore diet by Joe Rogan. You don't know them yet. Okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's gonna make you shit yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, do stand up and here's all my friend's jokes. Do these before? I would do that. 2010. Here's everyone I knows joke.

That's really good. Take that, right? And then starts to stand up early, right? Holy shit. They start early, right? And fuck all the shit, all the noise. Yeah. Just steal, do all these jokes.

Yeah. Do all bird jokes. Yeah, I would do everything. I would give them CDs. You know what I mean? What would you say to your younger self? Yeah, study these. What would you say to your younger self?

You think he would recognize you? There's a band called the black-eyed peas, right? Okay, so you're going to make a white-eyed piece. And just sing all of these by yourself. Wow. That's what you would do? Yeah. Whoa.

You wouldn't go higher than the black eyed peas? I got a feeling. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's such a good song. Right, but you wouldn't steal like...

LMFAO. Yeah, you're right. Billy Ilish stuff? Yeah. No. Yeah. You would? I'm going for all the movie

movie songs. Wow. That's the money right there. Yeah. Yeah. Also I would go like, wouldn't you do this too? I go, oh so in 2003 this team wins this.

Oh yeah. So put all your money down on this team. Would you fuck with yourself? What if you just wanted to fuck? Oh. Take all your money. The Rams are going to win. And against the Patriots.

I promise you, man. fuck yourself? Just a prank. No, because what would happen if you fuck yourself, would you disappear? Yeah, I think you would. Or does your future just turn into what it was?

What timeline are we thinking? Now we're thinking about it like, because some timelines are different than, do you think that if you go in the past, you switch things, mess with things? You just stay in the past and live there and just watch your miserable self? Yeah, but if you fuck things up

then you won't end up finding the time machine that's going to bring you back. So back to the future rules. Yeah. Oh, so back to this future, do you think that's real? Or you think quantum, the Marvel Avengers is real? The Marvel Avengers is where you disappear, right? No, no, Thanos just did that with a snap.

Oh, okay. What the fuck you're talking about? I thought everyone disappeared. Yeah, Thanos did that with a snap with his glove, dude. But that wasn't time travel. Oh, that wasn't? Yeah, yeah, that had the time travel. Half the people disappeared when he snapped his finger, which is a stupid thing.

Yeah, it's really. Yeah, anyway, go ahead. What do you think? Anyway, let's move on. No, no, I think, I think the, I think, I think the, I think the back to the future one would happen. Wait, too, you have to be very careful. Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, you would fuck yourself over. But it would be really funny to watch yourself. I'd be like, dude, I got this. You'd ruin so many people's lives, too, because you know yourself as well would be like, you'd tell your best friend. This is what you do then. You go to the future. Then you don't fuck with that. Would that be true?

So if I went five years ahead and I found out who won what and this and that and then came back, then you wouldn't be fucking one. with it. Yeah. Right? What's that? What's that ugly guy? That's me, dude. Oh, fuck. My bad. Honestly, I'm going back to myself. Do you look like you're the manager at pet boy? Why do you look older? Why do you look older now there? What the fuck is? I don't know, dude. What happened to you? I had acne on my chin. Dude, you got no pussy then. I didn't. Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. No, I didn't. I mean, look at my tie. It's so bad. Jules, would you talk to this guy? If you met him? No. No, really. Yeah, no, I don't. But it's mine at that age and what's going on? It's not even happening that No, I was in, I think I was in like fifth or sixth grade

So I think girls were like sort of on my mind, but not But were you thinking about music then? No When did music come to your little head? I think after After community college I, I, uh, are you looking at me like that? That's his listening face.

You have to power through it. He looks like he's, Yeah, God, this guy's going to talk about some stuff and I hate it. You don't have to say after community college. Just say when I was 22. I don't know how old I was after community college, too. Don't say community college. I think that's whatever problem with.

Community college. Why? Because it wasn't real college. It's like nothing. Say university. Like after nothing? University? Yeah, maybe say that.

Yeah, sorry. See if his face likes that. Hey, so yeah, after I dropped out of university. Oh, that sounds better. Yeah. What university? What, DeVry? Yeah.

And then you're bummed even more. Yeah, what, what, what, what, uh, I went to SMC. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, nice. And it's a good education. Did you graduate? No.

No, me neither. A year. Okay, so I dropped out. I got into photography, hated it, and then my friend was playing music in his car. And, and it was the music, it was dance music. And I had not really dabbled in it that much. And I was listening to more like metal. Photography did it.

Um, I was working on like random. magazine shoots. Oh, she was a real guy that you're getting paid for it. Yeah, I was setting up keynote fills and all that. Oh, wow. You're a real guy. Yeah, I was doing photo assisting work. You know, some people go like that, they go, like, a leaf. I don't like it. Yeah.

But anyway, on Instagram, right? Like, here's a leaf and here's a, like, a rainbow. I don't like it. No, no, I was working on, like, actual. That's good. Congratulations. You're talented in all fronts. It was great because it paid really well. Oh, that's good. So you did that. I think I knew that about you, I think, for some reason.

You might have. Why not? You know a lot of weird facts about me. What's going on here? Oh, I dropped a Lego on my face two nights ago. How does one do that? I built it in the club, and then I dropped it on my face. Was it a warship?

No, it was actually a Van Gogh. We built it in two hours, and then I dropped it on my face. In Vegas? We were at the Avalon. Oh, the Avalon. Yeah. It was a back-to-back-to-back, so it was three people. So I brought the Legos.

because I wanted to have something to do. I could beat you in Jenga. Yeah, right. Pretty good at it. The bleak block Jenga? I have a gift for you, by the way. Okay. Oh, my God.

There we go. This is good. Ooh. I haven't seen you in so long, so I know because... What did I say to you when I saw that outside? Jules knew what this is? I already fucking have this.

Why did you bring it here? You think I like Star Wars? That was really kind of. you to say that to him. Did you really get that for him? Well, okay. Bobby does have a good, he does have a good reason of why he's angry about it is I was cleaning out my house and I have a bunch of these.

Which I don't have a bunch of that one though. I want to make that very clear because he thinks I'm just re-gifting like, oh, I already have one. No, no. That's a one of one right there that I got from Disneyland. I want to say something about this lightsaber. First of all, you don't get this at the store. You have to go to the workshop.

Yeah. So I know that about it. No, no. I went to the store for this one. Oh. This one's Darth Vader's. You didn't do the workshop. I did do the workshop and those, you know, those aren't as good. Then I think the workshops are better than this. Do you use the workshop?

Okay, this is a pretty good one. Let's just move on. Let's break this down, guys. We need to get it. Okay, he's actually kind of happy about it now. I am very happy about it. But why is this not going? Yeah, sideways.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to put this here. Yeah. But what makes you completely sad about this gift?

And let this be the truth, as we all know. I haven't slept. I slept for two hour and a half the whole night last night because I flew in from Hawaii. Oh, well, I've got like from Singapore, so. You are? Yeah. Yeah. That's farther?

That's farther away. 16 hours ahead. You came in today. I came in a couple days ago, so I'm still fucked up. See, that's not the same then. I just came out like an hour ago. He got shorter. Yeah.

Anyway, let's Not splitting hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I want to say to... I know, let's go. But what I want to say to you is that like you give me this give, it means you don't know me that much. Yeah.

And what is the sci-fi that I do like? Everyone in the room, say it aside from... Go ahead, Gilbert. Star Trek. Yes. Yeah. Thanks for Alex for helping him. No, I was...

I didn't even see him say it. I just knew it. I saw him do it. No, I knew it. I'm not a fool. I knew it. I didn't even watch his, I didn't,

then why'd you bring that? Yeah, why did you bring his start? Because I was cleaning out my house. Give me Jordy LaForge's like, you know, a high thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right?

Next time. You know, data's a motion chip. Yeah. And X-Files. Loves X-Files. I like X-Files, too. But thank you so much for the gift, no problem.

And I, it will, it will probably be in this room forever. Okay, that's good. In fact, let's put it somewhere where people can see it on screen. There we go. Like maybe put it

right here. Yeah, behind the plant. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. If you were to get him a gift, what do you think, just on the basic knowledge

you know of Dylan, what would you just? Solid gold turntable. Damn. Yeah, from Gucci. That's a pretty good gift. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a cross.

It's a cross one. What I mean is, is that, what? Let me too explain. It's a cross one. No, no, no. Let me explain this. What does that mean?

I'll tell you what. It means when they, collaborate. It's a collaboration. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a collaboration. It's a collared. Pioneer collab.

No. No. It's Gucci and Pet Boys. No, no, not Pet Boys. Best Buy. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Gucci and Best Buy.

Yeah, they do the collab on these solid gold, right? Anthropology, too. It's a three-week collab. Okay. Yeah. It's solid gold. It's worth $450,000. Do those exist?

I think solid gold ones do exist. How much do you own your own equipment? Yeah, but I have it in storage. That you bring to Vegas, or do they have their own? The best thing about DJing is that you don't need to bring your own equipment. Most clubs have Pioneer DJ setups. Do you ever show up to play? This is a ZX 2590, man.

I want the ZX 50. Yep. That happens? Yeah. Right? And the collaboration's wrong. Yeah. I'll get a text from my tour manager.

be like, hey, they only have the ZX 9-8-250s. Really? Yeah. Be real. And then I'll be like, okay, it's fine. So you know how to do all of them? Yeah. Wow.

How did you know that? The Pioneer ZX-50. How did you? From Hotchi. I literally made that out. I know you did. I literally just made that out with my mind. Whoa, dude, that was crazy.

So there are so, you can play any turntable. I don't think I can play on the ZX-50s. I'm going to be completely honest. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Jules, do you have questions about Dylan? I have a question.

Have you ever gone to Ibiza? Yeah. Is it always crazy there? That place sucks. Really? I'll fucking, I'll talk shit about places, that's for sure. Oh shit. Worst place is the DJ.

So I'm going to Singapore. Tell me about it. Singapore is awesome. I was just there. So I actually love Singapore. Singapore is awesome. I'm not done with Singapore. Thank you.

Aye. Okay, sorry. I, aye. Okay, but we, I swear to God, my dear, we will get to the Philippines land. Okay, we're Singapore now. We're Singapore right now. So tell me about, so me and Andrew are going, Santino, right? We're going to be there for a week.

Yes. May I ask you some questions? Yeah. I don't know the fuck we're staying. Okay, so you should stay at the Marina Bay Sands. Oh, yeah. Okay, write that down. Incredible.

Alex, please. Marina Bay Sandsen. Alex, please. Singapore is so. Why, what is it with the Maria Bains France? The best hotel. The one with the pool on top. the photo. It has, yeah, it has the pool on top. You can see all of Singapore.

Should we get the venue to get us a suite? Yes. And you should also go to Marquis that's in the Marina Bay Sands. And they have a, they have a, not a ferris wheel, but yeah, I guess a Ferris wheel. I have a friend that's going. Do they have glory holes there? It's a giant pool on top. They might have glori holes. That's what you're at? Carlos. He's going. He's going, so does Carlos need a glory hole. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. Okay. That's good. Write that down. They might have a question mark. But glory holds question mark Well there's a place called

Four Floors of Hors Oh yeah In Singapore? Yeah Four Floor and Floor What is it? I can't even say it Four floors of Hors

They made it as well Asians can't say Oh yeah Four floors of Hors I think it might have another name But that's kind of what's going So there's four How many floors are there's only four?

Yeah And what's each floor do Are dwarves in the first floor? It's a mall where like at the bottom floor You just pay for drinks And then nothing happens And then since it's Singapore it's like 10 bucks per shot.

Oh yeah, it's very expensive. And then before you can get to floor number two, you're already poor. Yeah. But if you can make it to the fourth floor, what happens, you think? You won't be able to have sex because you've drank so much on floor one and two and three. Yeah, I'm sober. Yeah, so I'll make it. I will make it up there.

They might be pissed off if that you're not drinking. Oh, really? I can pretend. Yeah, that's how they make their money. Yeah. Right. So your favorite restaurant in Singapore? I would go to the night markets.

There's like the chicken satay stations. And then there's everything in the night market. I'd be honest, I want to be a little racist toward. I'm sorry, but I'm talking about old people, but I don't know if I should say this out loud. You can't say it with me. You can say it with him. Hey, let me ask you something. You guys can do it.

Hey, for audio. Hey, what's up? It's Dylan Francis. Go ahead. No! No! Hey, it's me, Dylan Francis. Go ahead.

Do you see about race stations? No, no. I was in. I was going to ask you, I don't know what you guys are doing right now. I don't know the play of this game. You were about to say something racist. So he was, I'm not saying anything racist. I'm just asking you, it's like, how do you know what meat it is?

I mean, you're going to say something racist. How do you go cats and dogs? Like it's like, you know, like, you know, would they go, me or cat? I'm like, what is? They'll tell you. I mean, yeah, you can. They can lie, too. It's like, yeah, I could be eating rat.

I could be eating rat. I don't know. But it tastes good. You put the peanut sauce on in. Oh, yeah. Peanut sauce solves everything. It does. Yeah, yeah.

All right. So go to the night market. Yeah, and you can eat like Manta ray as well. The chili crab, no. Are there frogs? I didn't see any. Are there crocs? What is it?

Cockroaches. I don't know. They don't eat cockroaches. They eat beetles, though. No? I didn't see any. Okay. So go to the night market, the hotel we got, right?

The four floors of horrors, right? Yes. What are some other sites seeing? do it in Singapore? I'm trying to think of what else we did there that... Yeah. I went and got tattoos there. If you want to get tattoos. You know a guy?

Yeah. He's like the best in the world or whatever. Yeah. Let me see. What do you do? Yeah, no. Can we tell the listeners? What about this frog? Dylan's showing his tattoos right now, to Bobby. Yeah, no, if I pass. Damn, dude. Damn, okay. No, they look good. Give me his number.

Okay. Philippines go. Have you ever gone to the Philippines? I think I've been one time. And you didn't like it because it's just one time. It was okay. It was okay.

It was okay. No, please expand. It was okay. I don't even remember what I did there. I honestly think I... I think I got in and I played the show and left. Because there aren't a lot of places

that I get to spend a lot of time because you know this. Touring. You know touring. You have to pay for everyone's things. So you've got to make sure you're staying at the places that you really love to stay at. Philippines?

Not one of my top places. Sorry. Japan? Yes. Okay. South Korea. I'm offended right now about what you're saying about the Philippines. I'm super offended by it, number one. Is that a hit?

Yeah, so it's Dylan Francis Live in Manila. Yeah, but how many hits? How many people didn't see it? That's not even at Manila. That was at Coachella. They're playing all stuff. That's not even, that's in the shrine in Los Angeles. Oh, man.

It's the Valcria. The promo and then it'll show the fucking thing. So you never went, like, outside. I think I, I think I just went through the, the hotel I was staying at was at a, was at a mall. So I think I just walked around the mall. And that was it. I didn't even get to, like, ride a motorbike. Or, like, motorcycle.

I've been to Pouquet, though, and Pouquet's amazing. That's in, uh, um, uh, uh, what's it? Bolly? No, that's, yeah, it's like saying, um, have you been to Peru? No, but I've been in Cleveland. That's in the same area. That's in the same area. Pull up a map.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Pull up a fucking map right now. Who can? It's a completely different thing. Pull up a map. Why? Because they're an island? Yeah.

Okay. That's insane. They're all close to South. It's so offended that you would do. It's so offended that you're all close to South Asia. It's so racist. Oh my God. Clip that.

I'm racist. I'm kidding. Yeah. There, clip that. So do you have, well, Philip. Philippines there. Where's Pouquet at? No, there's Thailand right here. So Pouquet's right here. Wow.

That's so far. No, no. So far. So far. Isn't Pouquet below Singapore or is it above? Well, this is Thailand. I thought Pouquet was, yeah. Puget's in Thailand.

It's above Singapore. All right. It's above Singapore. I know. But look at the Philippines. Okay, yeah, no. Philippines is a bit further away. And that.

Pull of a map. That strip of ocean is so bad. I don't know why I thought, I don't know why I thought Philippines and Cambodia were connected and they're clearly not connected whatsoever. Yeah. Anyway, one of the most racist things I've ever heard Dude, Bobby got in trouble in Thailand Why?

Maybe you had to apologize for saying something about the king All right, dude, don't bring up old stuff I'll remember that. What do you bring old shit up? I know it was Michelle Yao, that story. Oh, I thought it was the king. No, the king was there. Oh, it's all the same.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wait, I've been to Vietnam. There you go. What'd you like? I play this party? Yeah. The most beautiful people I've ever seen in my life.

and they were all doing like whippets. They all had like condom balloons. They were fucking massive. And everyone in the club was gorgeous. I was, I mean, I'm not, this is not saying a lot, but I was one of the ugliest people in the club. Whoa, I just thought of a new idea. Okay.

Having a little contraption on your penis that looks like a whippet thing. What do you think? You and I, Alex, we'll go to fucking Vietnam, dude. Everyone was just huffing those people. We're all black, stage black, right? And just had the whip it. So maybe they'll confuse it.

Anyway, that's gross. Cut that part out. But my mind is that, wow, you liked it? It was awesome. The party was really fun, too. And Vietnam's awesome. We walked around the, like, the handjob area. Yeah, yeah.

And we kept trying to take photos of them, and it was the funniest thing ever because they would all, like. What's a hand job area? As you would take, if you pulled out your phone at all, every one of them would go, ah! I'll go, wow. They don't want to get.

Their family. Yeah. They're family. I've never paid for sex. Look my eyes right now. I've never paid for sex. You have. I haven't.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That was the most real theory. That's insane, dude. That was wild. So much too.

Like over 40 times. Oh my God. You can see numbers? You read that in my eyes. I've never. Well, I know you haven't. Even just for a hand job?

No. Why'd you scream that? Yes? Why'd you scream? Yeah. I've never. I've never paid for a hand job. What's the worst place you've ever been?

Be honest. The worst place I've ever been. The Philippines. No. No! I never said that. I never said that. Worst place I've ever been?

Damn, that's a good question. Okay. Let me try to think. Hold on. Give me a sec. I have a lot of places. Okay. Okay, go ahead.

Okay. Go ahead. Probably Germany. Why? I love it there. I love it there. Beautiful women, no? Yeah.

But I think it's really, it was like the first times I was going there. I guess this is situational, but they do this like very, they do like a very funny thing. But they're like, I don't know why we booked you here. I don't know why we booked you here. I don't know why people like your music, but they do. Oh, they do that. Have fun playing. I hate that.

I hate that. It's this like weird, backhanded. Yeah, I don't like it. It's so bizarre. Yeah. Don't ever play there again. I will, though. I will.

But if I played soccer, I would love to play for Bayern Munich, maybe. Yeah. Also, Berlin's incredible. Oh, is it? But, yeah, I forgot where it was. Are they still, are they racist? That wasn't me. Did you feel like, that's not you?

This is actually kind of like why I created this character. I was going to ask you, is that? Yeah. He has an alter ego. It is. What is it? His name's DJ Hansel, and he always talks about going one deeper. Yeah, yeah.

And his whole thing is that, like, everything that you do is horrible. Yeah. And that you should only listen to like one kick drum and that's it. That's funny. How many followers of DJ Hansel have? Not bad. 30,000. That's pretty good for a character.

For a character. That's really good for him. Yeah, if you go to the first video, it really explains him all the way down. All the way. Yeah, that one. That one explains him as like a person. In a porter party. I played a 16-hour set in a porter party. So about three people outside, probably is the deepest time I've ever had.

That's like, that's amazing. Yeah. Dude, in Diplo 2, that's the character you have to play. Is that happening? Yeah. I know. I hope that does. I think we can make it happen, no?

I think we should. Called James. I love Vanderbeek, dude. Me too. I'll tell you the worst place, city I've been to America. It's not because of the town, it's just my experience at the club. Uh-huh. And it's Hartford, Connecticut.

Hartford, Connecticut. There's a funny bone there. It's a comedy club. And I remember what it was showing, when the manager wouldn't meet me until the end of the week. And he was very rude. He handed me the check, you know what I mean?

Very rude. And he was like, you know, he was like, yeah, all you do is like get naked and make people feel weird. And I'm like, yeah, but it's just people like it. Yeah. You know, I mean, don't have to put my art down, you know?

And they never asked me back. Was he German? No. Did I just do a German accent, man? I don't know if you, maybe you can't do one. I could have done it for you. Oh, there's a challenge.

Oh, yeah, all right. You say a sentence, I'll try. Okay. Did you just bark at me? I'm getting the vocal, right? That's how you do it? Hello, how are you doing tonight? No, you're supposed to, no, don't ask me a question.

No, no, I'm telling you to say that to me. No, I want to, I want to mimic your accent so I can get it. What the fuck, man? Look at this Bobby Lee. He is so disgusting. Look at this Bobby Lee. Look at this Bobby Lee. It's so disgusting.

thing. That sounds like Dr. Eel. Yeah, it's like Dr. Eel. I don't care. I'm almost there, right? Look at this rabble there.

This is the most, this is the most horrible accent I've ever heard. It's the most horrible accent I've ever had. What is that? Am I getting there? Maybe less nasally.

This is the most. Why's it going more? No, yeah. So, no. It's so nasty. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Just,

this. It's in the front of your mouth. It's in the front of you. You want to do it. No, no. No, no. No. No.

You're doing it! Yeah, we're not going to continue it. Try it. Yeah, yeah. You align. You say it. Yeah. Bobby Lee is the worst person alive.

Bobby Lee is the worst person alive. That's nice. A wahzy? It's more. Yakuza Japanese, Tokyo. But she sounded like she was at the, like, the burghine, like, basically going through and you were about to try to go in. And she was like, oh. This is the worst lasagna I've ever had.

Have you been to the burghine? Yeah, I don't know where it was that. Can you pull up the Bergheim and the the bouncer that works there? He's worked there. When I was on Mad TV, I remember they were like, you got to play an Irish guy. And I go, no. And so they would purposely want me to do these accents for the table read because they knew that it would be so terrible. This guy's hot.

This guy works at the front of the biggest club in Berlin, the Bergheim. Wow. He's famous now, I assume. Yeah. And they have like floors. There's a floor on there that basically there's a guy that sits in the bathrooms and let you shit and piss in his mouth. Oh, wow. And then you can look up that guy too.

Are you into that? No. But. Without being specific. I know a lot of people that have that. Really? Have you had that happen? No.

Why not? I don't think I've ever had anything go near my. my booty hole. Okay. Same. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Are you interested? I'm not interested. I try to... One time back, back with one girlfriend where I tried to do that, put it in her butt. And I had smoked so much weed before that.

And I was... Yeah, it was bad. Yeah. You're too young for it. I never wanted to do it again. Yeah, yeah. How about you guys around the table? You're Christian, so you know? No. George? No. Alex? Do I eat butt? He was waiting Ask me again

We're kind of Don't get so specific You got so nervous But have you had your Have you had that thing happen? That thing happened Close to it Not on it though

What do you mean? So the taint? You know you were yeah The grundleman Yeah yeah yeah The grundle Not holding He had the grundle

So basically you're like I went to Coachilla Where were you I was actually in Joshua Tree That's what you're saying Not really the same thing Yeah. Yeah.

Excuse me? It was almost tough. I was in the Philippines, but I went to Buket. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So, um, what's in the near future, my friend? Um, I don't know, man.

What do you mean? I'm, I don't know. I'm gonna probably go eat after this. No, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, so, have I been to your house? That was that, yeah. Was that your house, well?

Yeah, that was my house. Love your house. Thank you. It's in the perfect location. I'm not going to tell people where you live, but it's super cute. I love yours. This is this. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I've never been here before. Let's move on. Okay. But really cute place. Thank you. Dog. Yeah, two dogs.

Yeah, I love them. Thank you. Right. And you have a girlfriend? Yep. Would you say you have the perfect life? You think you're there. Yeah.

I do really feel like I have the perfect life right now. I'm happy for you Thank you I'm going to help you get there I had One butthole lick at the time I don't know why you would say that But

It's crazy you just brought that up But I'm at a point right now I don't know I just I look in Bobby's eyes And I see that I had a spiritual awakening in Hawaii And I'm not being I'm being I'm being real

I sat there and I You know how sometimes in your life You go I gotta make some change I think I'm there I'm going to make some deep changes and hopefully as a family here you can help me make those changes

Yeah what are you going to do I think I think I'm going to Take a break from dating Okay I take a big break from that And focus on yourself Well you know I have some good news everybody I'm doing a special

I don't know if people know But I didn't know that I'm doing a special at a company It's going to be a big thing when I do it. So I'm going to focus on that. And I have some other things that I'm focusing on. Me and Andrew are going to go on tour.

You should get really buff. You should get buff, like, the guy from... I think that's what... I think that's the next stage, dude. I would love to see the special, and you just be... You come out on stage. Who's the guy from...

The Marvel movies? Camel Nantiani? Yes. Yeah, we just had... He was just here last week. Oh. Sitting there. Right here?

Yeah. And guess what? Yeah, guess what? He's a great guy. He's a great guy. Okay. So, yeah, Nanjano was here, and Nanjano was very buff. Very buff. Yeah, yeah.

And he's such a clever guy. Yeah. It's crafty. He's like, Moriari. I saw him do stand up with Fahim at the comedy club. Wait, were you there, too? You know what's funny about you? Because I came down.

No, no, here's what's funny about you. And now you just, no, you just pissed me off. You just literally just pissed me off there. You just literally pissed me off. You just literally pissed me off. I saw you at the comedy store, right? Uh-oh. And you were watching a show that I wasn't on.

Or I was on later and you wouldn't stay. Yeah, I think that's what it was. I stayed. No, you didn't. Rebuttal? No, I stayed. No, I tell you why. Fuck.

I did stay. We stayed for a while. But you didn't stay this to watch myself because I'll tell you why how I know this. You did two. How many sets do you do? I'll tell you why I know this. Okay. Okay.

And I'm not fighting with you. And this isn't like a court, right? It's something that I witnessed out of my own eyeball. okay and I'll tell you how I know this I was walking up the stairs to the original room and you were coming out right I go oh my God you go yeah I go I go who'd you see and I know that you saw for him right

and I knew I was on the lineup he go and then you go I gotta go though and you was with some people and you had dinner or something so you took off and I remember thinking of my and it's not something I'm mad at it hurt me it really did hurt me and I've thought about it I'm not mad about it though Did I get? Yeah, that's exactly what happened. You know that. Admit to this, my fans right now, admit to my fans that that happened.

Admit it. It happened and I'm not happy about it. And I get it. I'm not as good. If I could do it again. Fahim's clever. He's proactive. And he's a crafty little Middle Eastern man. And we love him here.

Fahim invites me to all of his shows. Yeah? I don't get any Bobby texts. I don't get any Bobby texts. It's time for Hymiem right now. for any shows at the comedy store. And I would go if Bobby was like, hey, do you want to pull up tonight?

I literally don't want you there. That's fucked up. I literally don't. Wild that he's so mad about it and he doesn't want me there. Hello? What? Microphone.

Oh, no, I'm doing the labs experiments in my lab. There's frogs, dissecting frogs. Put on the mic. The mic. Yeah. If you're doing Call of Duty, I don't know. Dylan.

Hey, thanks for picking up. Weirdest FaceTime I've ever got. Give it to me. Give it to me. That made me so fucking mad. Dude. Dude. That's why.

Dude. Did you just hang up my fucking FaceTime? Yeah, because we're better friends. To grab Dillon's. No, no, no, no. Did you just hang up on me? And you went to Dylan's fucking FaceTime, dude?

Be honest with me. Did you see him hang up quick? It was pretty quick. You go, this is what I heard you say. Oh my God, Dylan. We heard that, right? Did you hear that? And then I'm cut off and you went there. You know what, Fem?

You're done. You're dead with me, dude. No! I hung up on him. I'm just fucking done with that guy, dude. Anyway, we'll talk to him later. Hold on. I just got to call him back. Okay. Finally, now that Bobby's gone. Yeah, thanks to that Bobby's. Yeah,

he went to poop. I love you and I can't wait for the next show. Oh, can't wait. Yeah, man. When is it? When is the next show? I'm doing the works on stuff. February 13. February 13th.

Yeah, I'll be there. February 13th, you're doing a show? You can't hear Bobby. Bobby, I would love you to do it. I try to get you to do it, like my new material. Give me the fucking thing, man. I'm bringing comics together, dude. All right, let me ask you something.

When you do it? Let me ask you a question. Crafty. Can I ask you a question? When you did your big show in Canada. Yeah. In front of all those people. Uh-huh.

Right? how many comics called you to see how it went? Just you. And what did I say? You were proud of me. You thought that it was like a hallmark of things to come.

Okay. I'll call them later. Call them later. So what is this, a new album? Yeah, I put this out a year ago, I think, almost. Astero works. by Dylan Francis. This mixtape Fire 2 CD.

Yeah, holy shit, it's almost a year. That's amazing. Yeah, you can get that if you want. Yeah, everyone, go watch that. Yeah, your song, the music video that you're in is on that. What's it called? It's called Rainey with Rayami. Yep, there it is.

Check that one out. Yeah, I'm just doing a bunch of other stuff right now. You know, working on a bunch of other music. This is a year ago, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then every Wednesday. Not really working on that. I know.

That was like a year ago, dude. This rep said it's all the same. All right. All right. Come on. Keep clicking. I'm not here to promote anything. Yeah, every Wednesday.

I'm here just to hang out with you. What's this? God damn it. It's God damn it. The sound. Let's hear it. Let's hear some of this. Are we going to have flag on YouTube?

Probably. But I was only here. I've never heard it. Yep. There it is. There it is. Do you know that way back, this is probably 10 years ago,

Fat Jew used to hype up the crowd for me. Fat Jew? Yeah. Who's that? You don't know who the fat Jew is? I know fat Jewish people. But I don't call it. This guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. What do you say? He used to just tell people to put drugs in their butt. With drugs in your butt. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can you just say random things? Yeah, no, you can.

Yeah. A lot of people got mad. Macaroons are tangy. Yeah, he definitely. Is that good one? We should write some down, maybe. You know what I mean? Bobby, if you ever want to come to Vegas and yes.

Please bring him. I would love that. If you ever want to come to Vegas and emcee for me. Yeah, I will. I don't even have to emcee for that long. You can just do it for five minutes. Duck stair, lip, lip. I don't know.

Ducks there. Yeah, I'll just make stuff out. I'll write it down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'd love to do it. Some, yell some stuff out there, you know? We could do the first ever DJ set with comedy breaks.

I would enjoy that immensely. Thank you. That would be awesome. Yeah. Anyway, what a joy. Do you enjoy yourself here? I love you guys. No, did you really enjoy yourself?

Bobby, when I saw that you guys wanted me back, or unless it was me asking to be on this, which... We wanted you. You can tell me the truth. I'll be completely... Henry, tell me the truth. Did we ask to be on this?

I don't even remember to be on this. I probably asked... I'm going to tell you the most honest... I probably asked my manager, Nick. I'm going to tell you the most honest answer that I can't, and it's not about comedy. It's not... It's not about laughs or okay?

I don't know. I honestly don't know. But when I found out you were doing it, I was like, fuck yeah. Dude, I'll come back anytime. In fact, I never know, right? Like, I was like, who's going, who's going to be there? They're like, Dylan Francis, oh, that's cool. You know what I mean?

It was like, sometimes they say stuff like, oh, who? And then you have to send me, and then you have to send me like their Wikipedia and have to memorize the things they've done. You know what I mean? That's happened. Yeah, yeah. So that's happened a lot, you know what I can see that. But yeah, you can come in any, if you ever want to plug anything, you can come

here. I would like also one day come to your Wednesday night, Vegas thing. That'll be fun. Anytime. Give Dylan Francis a round of applause, everybody.