TigerBelly - Dominick Cruz & The Joe Rogan Text

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Former UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz joins TigerBelly and immediately starts breaking Bobby’s brain, from fight psychology to uncomfortable hypotheticals. We chat with Michael Bisping, Limp Bizkit vs. The Beatles, fighter pay, handsome fighters, fear of texting Joe Rogan, and whether Bobby could ever survive a fight. Limited Time Offer – Get Huel’s full High-Protein Starter Kit with my exclusive offer of 20% OFF online with my code TIGERBELLY20 at huel.com/TIGERBELLY20. New Customers Only. Code only valid for the bundle. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit www.hims.com/belly

You're so tan too. You're so tan, too. You look so good. I think it's a hiki. It's a hiki, dude. It's dumb. From a water buffalo. No, like I said, if this is a hiki, she'd be way too big for me. Oh, really? Wow.

That's company. It's disappointing, isn't it? Wow, you're that guy. You can play piano, too. Yeah, dude. Violin. So you can play piano. You can tell jokes.

Yeah, dude. I can fight. I can fight, bro. What are you fighting for? What? For my live, bud. Dominic Cruz. Dominic Cruz.

He's the best. And he can kick your eyes. Someone stole the style, and his name is T.J. Dillashaw. You said it, not me. Yeah, I did. He's a... T.J.'s a thief. T.J.'s a thief. Learn to fight on your own style.

What a thief. What a goober. I mean, technically, you could say you steal styles, too. No. Ooh. No, no, no. I'm influenced. You're not the first person I've seen with the ass-cracking. out. The only other ones that you've copied are plumbers.

But two different. You know what I mean? You guys both wear no underwear. We're both trying to flex it. I understand. I understand. It's a flexi. Okay, you're right. Maybe I'm a thief. I'm a butthole thief. I like it. And, you know what I mean? Maybe that's true, but my point is, is that... Would that make you a pitcher or a catcher? I'm both, dude.

Damn. Wow. Wow. You know what I rip open and you can shred mine. And that's my That's my motto, dude. Yeah, rip up and shred. I brought you some authentic cuisine, too. Yeah, Panda Express, I get it.

It's not authentic, dude. No. It's not authentic. Don't do this, not authentic. No, I mean, I really thought that... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. Yeah, I understand.

Yeah. I just don't want to come empty-handed. I understand that. I understand. But do you know what ethnicity I am or nationality am? Korean. Yeah, exactly. Do you know what that is?

That would be Chinese, dude. Authentic cuisine. I never said. I know you never did. Anything else. It's the same region. Yeah.

Similar, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I have some friolis. So I'm like frioles. I do. Bust up the friolis and the floutas, dude. The floutes. Okay?

This is the thing. If we had everybody who's from China and everybody from Japan and everybody from Korea and you went all onto a basketball court. Yeah. What would happen? And you went shirts and skins?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we've heard this before. Yeah, yeah. I think the Chinese would win. Why? Because they have taller dudes. Yao Ming, right, Chinese? Who else?

There's another guy that's right. This is Dom. This is a cat? You're, to say that to be late. To say who else and to be late is unfathomable to me. Okay. So I apologize. Bobby Lee.

I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. Do you know our guest here? I do. Okay, tell me what you know about him. Tell me what you know about them. You're very strong. Ooh.

Yeah, that's very good. That's the first time I've heard that. Yeah, yeah. And you, you, you, you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In what weight class? I'm going to go with. Lightweight.

What did you say, dude? Lightweight, no. Feather weight? Close, close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else we got? Upper weight. Peanut weight.

Welter weight? Close. That would be his weight. You know what? Not my weight, dude. I weigh 160. Really? What, 152 I mean?

What weight would I be 152? You would really weigh 152? Yeah, yeah. You're a fly weight. Yeah, dude. Fly weight, dude. Who would I fake? Demetrius Johnson.

Mighty Miles. You ready? I could beat him, Dad. My challenge. Demetrius Johnson. He's retired, no? You think you could beat Mighty Miles. In what form?

His name's Mighty Mouse? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you got it. You think I got it? Yeah, yeah. He's so good. The real Mighty Mouse? Like, have you seen...

The cartoon? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's actually kind of like that. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is a pieced. Doesn't he have big ears, Mighty Mouse?

No, he's black. Oh. Yeah. What does that have to do with that? I don't know. I don't think that's right there. The mouse parts of the center. This is him.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Everything would break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. This guy's a beast, dude. What?

Look at him, look at those muscles. Oh, my God. Yeah, so that's his way. That's my way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think you could go with that guy? I was kidding. Oh.

Of course not. Okay. Dude, fighting him? I would die in 10 seconds, five seconds. I mean, I can't play the piano. I know. So it's like, we all have our gifts. I know, but how long do you think I could laugh?

Be honest. Fighting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you wouldn't make it in there. You mean, I wouldn't be able to get in through the cage? Oh, you'd be able to get in through the cage? You dude, the nerves would get you before you got out there. I know, but how long you think?

In the fight. Yeah, in the fight. Five seconds? What? Yeah, maybe. Five seconds, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're durable.

You look durable. So I think you'd last a little longer through just durability. Your durability. I feel like you've been through enough miserable life experience. I am. molested, beaten. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm definitely durable.

You're crafty, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm crafty, dude. Wow. What about sparring? I was on the wrestling team? Oh shit, you weren't. So he might last. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I'd have, okay, for me to fight Dominic Cruz, I would need two years of training. Only to last more than 20 seconds. Okay, okay, okay, okay. That would be my goal. To last more than 30 seconds. Bobby can last.

Two years of training. I would do a lot of running in the circle. You look kind of athletic here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did that change for you? The athleticism thing. You don't lose it, Dom. No.

Oh, Dom, you don't lose it. athleticism. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your arms look a lot different now. Maybe it's a sweater. I know. Dude, I know. I'm old.

How old are you? I mean, are you really any personal like that? I don't know. I'm 40. You know, what you are. I'm 54. Wow.

Yeah, so for being 54. No, I give it to. You actually look good for you. Yeah, yeah. You guys both look great. Thanks. Thank you. You're welcome.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What about Don? Yeah. How long you think you'd be less? with nominee cruise. Sparring? Yeah.

Like 30 seconds. What's the other option? 30 seconds. There's just no way. For sparring, we're like... You know how long 30 seconds? It's a long time. Start the clock now.

I would probably spend 100 grand just to see that. Tell us when it's done. Don't you think, Alex? 30 seconds is long. Like, if you've ever... I know. 30 seconds. 30 seconds is a long time, dude.

It's a lifetime. Okay, but I'm saying with gear. What do you have? Football gear? It still hasn't been 30 seconds yet. I don't think, by the way. Yeah, yeah. I don't know about...

You know how many times I've hit you by now? Yeah. How many times? Oh. No, I'm not trying to fight. No, I'm not trying to be seen. He's hit you 20 times already. No, it's like...

The look in your eye is crazy when you're like, you know how many times it's like you. I just think about 30 seconds, how long that is. That's so long. I've had 30 seconds. And I've been... Wow. I've been begging for 30 seconds to end in my life. Me too.

No, no. Don't. I want to live you hanging on that. You have you. You guys have had sex before? No. No. No. No. What's that noise?

Nothing. Really? Well, I figured 30 seconds. Me too to you. Okay, be two. No, me to you is like a... That's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't be able to get hard, lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just no way. Who would you fuck first? Me or Jaime? Dominique. Wow, wow, wow. He wasn't an option.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Domberg's hot. You're seeing somebody already? Married? No, married. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's it like being in a, I mean, does your significant other have to be an athlete?

You know, that's a good question. You know, my significant other just has to be very understanding. It's funny because actually it changed, you change when you're done fighting. At first, when you're, when you're competing at the highest level, like I was choosing a partner according to what fighting needed. Then you finish fighting and now it's like, okay, what is Dominic need? And it's like, holy time.

What is Dominic need? It's a great question. Yeah. I'm still trying to figure it out. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I've been retired for six months. You need tenderness?

I could use a hug. No, no, no, we did that. Okay. Give a month. Do it for 30 seconds. 30 seconds. See, I feel better. I already just like he has, you have to take it.

advantage of the cuddliness that he looks like. Okay, let's, I'm a girl, let's I'm a girl. My name is Sabrina. And so I like Taylor Swift, okay, obsessed. Like I have all, I memorized all her songs, right? Okay. I'm an influencer. Sound like my cousin.

Yeah, good. Are you into that? Yeah, so, yeah, I love incest, too. So, is that where we're going? No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not your cousin. No, I'm Sabrina. And, you know, whenever we go out for a meal, I have to take every photo of every meal.

Yeah. Appetizers, lemonade, the whole thing, right? Lemonade. What else? I sleep late. I sleep at 5 in the morning. Because I game.

You're a game. I'm a gamer online. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I game online. You know what I mean? And right now I'm playing A-Fex Twins. It's a new game.

Is it really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an MMO. It's called Apex Twins. And it's a band, too. But I've heard of that. Yeah, yeah. So would you date this person?

I'm, no. No. No, he's out. Yeah. She's out. out. That was a guy. I have a penis. I forgot the message. So that's out.

What about this? Oh. What? How about this? Can I? If you're doing scenarios with girls, let me do one. All right. Okay, you could do one.

I'll do one too after you. Everyone do one. Is Don, wait, is Dom voting for which one he likes the best? Yeah, yeah. So, could I change mine then? No. Let me change mine. No.

I didn't know it was a competition. No. No. No. No. You can't change. Fine. You go first. No, you go first.

Because you don't have yours. Yes, I do. Improv. Okay, go ahead. Improv. Hi, my name is... No, what do you do with the mic? You have a mic? What are you covering the mic for? I'm doing the voice. There's no change.

Okay, okay, go. He's got to change it a little. Okay, go. He's cut. I got to change a little bit. Okay, hi, my name is Shelby. I'm 30 years old. I'm a librarian.

I, um, I do. arts and crafts on the weekends, memosos on Sundays. I'm just a fun gal to just lay back and chill and I get you're a boxer, so that's kind of hot. He's not a boxer, but... A fighter.

Yeah. And let's just see what this goes. That seems okay. Go ahead, Kat. Wait, let him process that. I'm a double D. Oh. Oh, you just put that out at the end there.

Can I put one added thing to my head? No, no. You get a BB out. I have the tightest vagina in the world. Yeah, it is. I'm going to add to my. Yeah, yeah. It's like virgin, like a virgin style.

Okay. Go ahead. Pressure's on because you're actually a female. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi. My name's Daryl. I like podcasts and venison.

And I think that Mike Tyson's a really good guy. Okay, well, I'm not into guys, so you're out. I'm not a guy. Daryl's not a guy. Daryl's not a guy. Yeah. Is that a both name? Daryl, Dera.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, try again. I think you got more in the tank. Okay. Yeah. I also drive a stick shift and I love playing. That's great. That's great.

I also have a huge, um, um, throat. Okay. I'm done now, please. Really? Intense. Really good, intense. I mean, tight vagina, huge throat. We know who wins that war.

Sorry, just the analysis. Yeah, very good. And you're wearing your cholo, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, visually, we're not, we don't look like what we look like. No, but he's going to describe what I look like. You have double Ds. Yeah.

So that's visual. Oh, yeah, yeah. But he's wearing a cholo. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So I win. Tie vagina wins. Yeah. Every time, every time, every time. Yeah, very good.

I won that. Okay. Without even knowing I was in the competition. Oh. Beforehand. What's going on? Nothing. Okay.

Can I ask you, because we've had an argument here on this podcast. You guys. That's been running here. No chance. Oh, yeah, we do. What's a better band, a rock band? Oh, I love. Limp Biscuit?

Lincol. Or the Beatles. Or the Beatles. Limp Biscuit or a Beatles? Yeah. I have to go with Limp Biscuits. Oh! I like the Biscuit.

I like the Beatles, but they're just, more my era Limbiscuit. Yeah, yeah. Like fighting. It's just one of those days. When I was wrestling, that's what I'm listening to. I've had a lot of words to it. They're not going to be yesterday. Well, they're about to fight.

You know what I mean? Get be such a shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beatles were a little bit, you know, they're a little bit soft. Boring, no eggs. I wouldn't say boring because they did set the bar for Limbiscuit to eventually take place. Right? They're the, they made the path.

Yeah, yeah. You know, kind of like... It's really interesting. Yeah, it's pretty boring, isn't it? And I want to get close to you, dude. That's what I've, because I've been a fan for a long time. But I think we took a couple of steps back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, fine, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never heard of this band. You know what the biggest doofest in the world is? You'll be okay. What, I know. You can be okay. The biggest dofest in the world, can we agree is Michael Bisbing. okay

now we're into a subject he's been on this podcast what a couple of times you brought him on twice yeah what a doofus well he would be tough to be to have on here

he just takes everything so personally yeah yeah very sensitive very sensitive man very sensitive which is a weakness which is a weakness

if you can think about it you know what I mean God if I run into Michael he's gonna destroy me dude 30 seconds no he's a great guy he's very talented

talented. But you think you're smarter than Michael Bisbing? I mean, are we really setting the watering line with Bisping? Yeah, I love watering lines and I love Bissing. Let's do it. I mean, it's not, we're not. Yeah, it's a different level of intellect. Yeah, he's not really like, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's bisping. He just, he just angry. He reacts. Yeah. He's a reactor. He's angry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, angry guy. But a funny guy. Yeah. No? He is funny.

He's very funny, man. I think the funniest part about him is when he's angry. Oh, right. I've never seen him angry. Oh, he's always angry. Oh, really? When is he not angry? What does he get angry about?

I mean, any joke you make about him. So he's going to get angry about his eye. Oh, yeah, he's going to get mad. He has a goofy eye. Can we talk about his goofy eye? Is it a lazy eye? A touchy subject. Yeah, he's retired.

That eye is retired. Yeah, or retarded. I don't know. I brought it up before. Cut that out, the retarded part? I brought it up before in the past, and I won't. I just probably shouldn't do it again. We work together still.

He'll destroy you. He'd do his best. Yeah, yeah. He has no, he has no, he has a fake eye? Yeah, he won fights. No, it's a literal thing. Oh, I didn't know they had a fake eye. No, so he got spinning heel kicked in the face by Vitor Belford.

By TRT. TRT, Belford. Of course. And that's why he's so mad about it because it was kind of, you know, technically that's cheating, right? Yeah. So then that he lost his eye to somebody who was... He tore, knocked his eye.

Yeah. And it wasn't nice. It wasn't the UFC. It was in the UFC. It was in the UFC during a life fight and it wasn't nice. So everybody loves and respects Bispying for that, you know? But when we're talking about intelligence, you can make fun of him. But his eyes...

Just not the eye? Yeah, like, maybe cut the eye out. You got to keep it in. Literally. Yeah, yeah, no, because I didn't know it was a fake eye. I thought it was just a lazy eye. I didn't know the beat. I'm so nervous.

I'm so nervous. I don't know the beat the beat the bell for. fucking knock the eye out. Well, I thought you were Pan Express Chinese, not Korean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, there's many things. Yeah, what's really the difference?

What's the difference? We're trying to understand each other. That's it. That's what it is. Yeah. I love Hugh, Hugh. I love protein.

Me too. And it's delicious. Yeah. Right? You get a little bottle with it. You shake it up, dude. Shake it up. What's the hardest part of eating?

Enough protein every day. What is the hardest part? I'm asking you, Kat. I don't get enough protein, so it would be nice to just get it all in one dose. Yeah, and what would you use, I think? I think Huell. Exactly. RTD, have you heard of that?

Of course. Yeah. The emergency high protein complete meal. Delicious. Powder, the controlled, customizable, high protein complete meal. I'm going to talk about this, about both, okay? Okay. I love customizing stuff.

Oh, right? And I love delicious flavors. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. 35 grams of protein RTD, 35G, powder, 40G. Damn.

You know what? That's the perfect amount of, you know what I mean? Highmate. Balance. Jaime, what do you think the perfect amount of essential vitamins and minerals is? 27. There you go.

How'd you even know that? That's amazing. Hey, let's say you have a gluten allergy. What would you, could I still have, you'll? Yeah. Because it's gluten-free.

Yes. No art of sweeteners, colors or flavors. Under $5 per meal. Under $5. Yeah, yeah. I keep a couple in my car, just as a quick meal replacement.

I do too. Yeah. Well, that's ironic. That is ironic. You would George do the same thing. Yeah. That's really... Guys, if you're focusing on protein right now

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does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxidil and banastery. Ooh. Ooh. What's the difference? What's the difference? We're trying to understand each other. That's it. That's what it is. Yeah. Is it true that you'd bismic gotten in a fight, or is that just all made up? No, that's what I was saying is, like, I don't touch this

subject anymore because that was the beginning of when we almost fought a physical fight no just like we're on the desk and he was burning me on the desk while we were on fox yeah and so i had to burn him back you know you can't just let this what was your burn well i mean he said something about me not considering me being done i don't remember what he said to me but it pissed me off yeah and i said that he had that i won with both my eyes basically it's okay bro slam Slash out, bro. What a slam, dude.

Personal. You pulled it out. I didn't want to do that, but you made me do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he pull his eye out? You should make a song about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know what... I... I... I... I, I know I. We can work on it. Yeah. We got the song.

We got it. We can work on it. But, wow. So it never got really physical, though. He didn't grab you. No, he wanted to. Yeah.

We would kill you. We've been. It's arguable. No, that's not arguable, dude. He would kill you. Robbie, that's not very nice. He's so much bigger than him. But look at his eyes.

He's got two of them. Cat, you don't know who you're talking about here, dude. I don't. Is he going to come for me? I don't know, dude. Bisping is a... He lives in San Diego. We're going to be in San Diego this weekend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll admit this. Yeah. The numbers are probably not on my side. Exactly. He's a little bit. Yeah. Taller, a little bit bigger.

But he's also got metal knees, one eye at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a little bit beat up. And I think that since he left the UK, he's gotten, you know, real big into the medical field here in the United States. And we all know what the pills do to you out here. Right. Yeah. And so, what kind of pills?

Like. Like. Like Bluetooth? Blue shoes. I think he's good. Oh, yeah. So we're sponsored by Bluetooth. Sponsored.

Yeah, yeah. So I would just dissolvable. I would never want. to fight him on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be a mess. Yeah. Well, he's a family man.

He's a family man. Just so they know who Dominic Cruz is. Dominic doesn't mess around. He doesn't fucking wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, you would die in their time. Okay, not that, sparring. This is him sparring, dude. No, that's not sparring. That was, wow, look at that thing. That's a fight, yeah. That's a fight. No, in all reality, like.

And he's beating up the Asian guy for you, Bobby. Did you have to pin his arm like that? That was the idea, yeah. Is this you versus T.J. Right? Yeah, I saw these fights. Ooh, good scraps. Yeah, good scraps, dude.

You know, in all reality, though, Bisping is a legend, and he was actually on a fight card with me when I fought Uriah Faber, and that's when he beat Wydemon. Oh, that was a great one, yeah. Remember he knocked him out of the other one took? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so always respect for Bisping as much shit as we talk. That's like older brother, younger brother type of. Like, we're brothers, you know? We bust each other's balls a lot. Who beat, Luke Rockhold for the title. Yeah, that was Bisping. That was Bisping, right?

And he wasn't supposed to win. Like, this was on his short notice. Somebody pulled out of the fight, and he got put in there. It was Wydman pulled out of that fight. Yeah. He got put in there, knocked him out with the left hook. I remember. Same fight I beat Faber.

Did you beat Faber? Yeah. Twice. You know my favorite fight against F-Nate, not you weren't fighting against him, but against Favre was the Brazilian. Barrao? No, not Bahraal. Aldo?

Jose Aldo. Oh, yeah. Leg kicks? kicked his leg. Oh, my gosh. God, I can't believe the Oriole Favor even stood after. I mean, no, I don't know how he made it through that fight. Have you had kicks like that done to you?

Not like that. Next level. Yeah, that's another level like Barbosa's done that. Barbosa's the beast. Certain guys that have done it. But at the end of the day, like he took a beating from Aldo. Aldo was in his prime at that point. Can you look at Araya Favor's leg after all those kicks?

Sorry. Go ahead. I was just wondering if there's any moments where you're like in the ring and like it's like kind of more intimate, like it's not so aggressive. I don't want to find I want to suck his dick kind of thing? Maybe not the dick, but like just a cuddle. Oh, I love. Like, yeah, is there a guy that you thought that you really loved?

Yes. Are you friends with them? No. Really? Never. No. Why? You don't have friends.

So, if we threw, I don't know, half a million dollars on the table right now, and we said, you can't like each other. otherwise you don't get the money, are you going to like them? Oh, you could still like them and fight them, is what I'm saying? No, I mean, are you actually going to like, like what she's saying, like, have an intimate moment. Or are you just going to get the $500 grand? That's right. What would you do?

I would absolutely get the money. Yeah, that's basically what it comes down to. So even if you did like the person, you kind of like the money more. Yeah. But still, so the like. So your feelings for him just dissipate. Yes, they go away. They go away.

Now, after the fight, do they come back? Oh, yeah. Well, the thing is, have you ever been in a fight? No, man. Never. What the fuck? Not even a lot. You have.

I've been beat up. Yeah, yeah, but it wasn't. In the comedy store. Yeah, I got beat up at the fight. Okay, by who? Ari Shafir. Okay, and at the end of it, you felt so glad it was over. I was glad it was over, and I fucking hated it to God.

You did not hate him. You're still friends with them. No, I got, eight years later, we became friends. So you really, I was an actual, like, hate fight. Oh, yeah. I hated up. He beat me up. And then you lost after you hated him?

I didn't swing I didn't swing one time Why if you didn't like him? He's six foot two So you just couldn't I couldn't reach Yeah yeah yeah No he hit me from behind

I fell down He kicked me in the face a bunch of times He was like a not a fair He lost his eye I'm sorry Yeah But yeah so But so the like doesn't come back

For you Depends on who it is Or so who are people That you don't like right now Oh man If you saw them at an event That's a loaded You're not going to say hi.

Or the people you wouldn't say hi to. But you're also in a different place now. Yeah, it's totally different. Like, it is. When you're competing, it's different than when you're not. Come on. I don't have anybody that I can't get along with. To me, I look at it.

Like, if I don't like you, it's because you made me not like you, which means I'm giving you my power. You don't have the power to make me not like you. It's that simple. Okay. But if I'm competing against you, I don't, it just, none of that matters. Whether I like you or not, I'm just going to hurt you. Wow.

It makes it really easy when you're competing. Wow. You think it's hot? No, no, I never said that What are you whispering? I said, that's hot Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's hot.

Yeah, it's fucking hot, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So right now you get along with everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if you saw Dilla Shaw at an event when you hug them and go, hey, how are you? How's your life?

Hug is strong. Wow. You're tired. Who gives a fuck? They just reconnected recently. But we're cool. All right. Would you have dinner with them?

Like, hey, Teage. Tees, let's get a meal. Teage? You wouldn't call them that? No. Yeah. Dill. That's what I got.

Yeah. Double D's or whatever. You wouldn't? Yeah, probably not. Really? Maybe a beer. A beer? Maybe.

Wow. Who would you have a dinner with? Listen, I've been out of the M.A. game for a while. Yeah. I don't know the new people. Right? Yeah.

Okay, so Pereira. Yeah, why not? You'd have a meal with Pereira. You know, anybody who's not in your weight class is like pretty simple. John Jones. Yeah, I've had plenty of dinners, John Jones. What's that like? Yeah, he's a trippy guy.

Yeah, yeah. I can tell. I have eyes. You know, you think that he's like one way or another. You can't ever get a point on Jones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you really can. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's the best way to put him like, I've had nights at one in the morning where we're going over moves after an event. We both fought and we're going over moves in the hotel rooms, finding ways to, like, hurt each other. After the fucking fights? Yeah, we just go over moves, and you're drinking and partying. You're not going to go to bed? Well, you're drinking.

You're celebrating. Oh, you're celebrating. It's a celebration. You just want to fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and then he's showing me his moves, and I got to learn. So that was fun. I would love to be there.

I'll show you my moves. Yeah. What's your best move? Quala. I make up my own moves. What does that entail? I just clean on you like this. like you're a tree.

And then I fall asleep. And then I'll eat some bamboo. I go to sleep. He also has chlamydia. Yeah, I have chlamydia, do. Because that's quas. No, are those koalas that have that? Coalas have it.

Yeah, coales have it. Yeah, yeah. Sexually active, dude. You know what I mean? What a beautiful creature. You know what I mean? Sometimes I like burn myself, I'll do in Australia during the fires one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a fun one. That's awful. The fiery koala, I call it. Yeah, yeah. So, watch it. You know what I mean? I do pander rolls. I do pander rolls.

Yeah, so that's one of my moves Do it Yeah But I would love to like after a fight If you guys won I would just love to be there Me too Me too

I would get involved Let me try, let me try Would you go full force? Yeah, yeah Oh no then no no No with you With you you gotta learn it Yeah

You gotta show it to you Like he already knows John Jones knows So I'm just kind of hypothetically Showing him what I would do And he's like Yeah this is how you blow somebody's knee out Wow

Those are the types of moves he's showing Yeah yeah yeah Like, have you ever seen how he does that move where he stomps your knee? Yeah, what's that called? I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody would say, this is bad. This is like, that's below the belt type of strike.

And you still hear that sometimes where they kind of side kick your knee when they walk forward. I was, I remember before this was a big move, he was showing me that this is something he's going to do. And he jumps and then shut. I was like, wow, that's vicious. So things like that. He says he has another move, illegally punching a deaf guy. Do you remember that? Yeah, you're actually not wrong about it.

Do you remember that? He fought a deaf guy and he punched him in the face illegally. Oh, Matt Hamill. Is he not deaf? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's it to move. Punch a deaf guy.

I mean, it was after the bell. It was after the bell, right? I think so. That's his one loss, right? It's overturned now. The deaf guy. It is? It's overturned.

So now he's undefeated. John Jones is undefeated. John, I was just a joke if you're listening, okay? I'm a huge fan. I've seen all your fights and I love you so much. Yeah, because that guy

is probably greatest of all time? Yeah. Be real? On the numbers, yeah. On the numbers, yeah. Yeah, on the numbers. Yeah. And I think it's also preference, right?

Like, what makes the best comedy of all time, comedian of all time? Preference a little bit. There's numbers, right? What are the numbers on the best comedian? How do you use? Well, if you base it on ticket numbers, then, you know what I mean? What do you base the best comedian of all time?

Honestly, really. How do you do that? Good writing. Huh? Good writing? No. See, everybody would say something different. Absolutely not.

So what is it? Seriously, though, being... You're a top comedian. Like, what is it? Well, you look at a guy, like, I think they just did a list of the hundred... 20 best comics of all time. And Dave Attell was, what, seventh or something like that? And, you know, it's not as if Attel does stadiums, you know what?

He's a club comic. You know, I mean, he's one of the greatest of all time. But it's his style, his joke writing, his coolness, everything about... Go ahead, what? I said writing. joke writing right yeah yeah you did say that yeah but just one thing you said

okay it's one of many things but writing writing that's all you said sending up your punches no that's not it that's nothing setting up your punches that's a joke we both do that all jokes you have to set it up yeah but then there's comedians who do crowdwork and don't you know yeah that's I wouldn't consider

that being see interpretive whoa that's my point so how do you're right So how do you figure out who the best comedian of all time it is? And I look at the same with fighting. Like I think on the numbers, you can look at all the records he's broken, all the, he's never lost, the way he's done it, the people he's finished, when he did it. A lot of the guys he's beaten were the best in their prime when he beat him.

So things like that are what you're looking at. But then when we're talking about some people, when you get them outside of the octagon, maybe you don't always respect that. Oh, their behavior outside. Oh, we have comedians like that too. Yeah, we do. Some people add that up.

Some people don't. That's, again, that's interpretive and it's preference, right? So let's say you're really funny, but you bang koalas on the side, right? Or you groomed. And that's where you get chlamydia from. You groomed koalas. That weird thing would probably. You're getting chlamydia from now.

You're not as funny anymore. Yeah. We might have to flag that because of beasties. reality, but I get what you're saying is that, can I ask you a question? Okay. Don't say it from your point of view. Say it how I would feel because I don't want you get in trouble. Basically, let me just throw it out there, right? Who's a nice guy? Like, I'm going to throw some names out and who I would think was a nice guy in the business.

Demetrius Johnson. Oh, yeah, I can tell. He's one of the nicest guys. I can tell. I swear. You really authentically is like, even fighting, when I was fighting, I was like, oh, you're nice. Like, I have to, like, no, don't. Did he beat you? No, but it was still like, he was really nice. It was a draw? No, it was, I won unanimous decision. You won't then. Yeah.

He's like, he destroyed him. He's dead. I did, but that's, he's still nice. Before the fight, he was nice. After the fight, he's nice. Like, after you beat somebody, he was nice to you, after you, you know, it doesn't happen much, right? You can tell he's super nice. He's just authentically a nice human. Another one. Yeah, you give me a nice guy. Musamechi.

Right? I don't know what it is. A jujitsu, a jiu-suitous specialist. He's an example of somebody who's like overly nice that you would hang out with. You know? Is that, oh yeah, that's you with the tattoo. With Demetrius, yeah, yeah. This is a long time ago, too.

Yeah, that was 2013, 2012. Wow, wow. Yeah. And he's one of the best. Go ahead, Kat. What, like, gets you really riled up to just beat these guys? The money. Oh, more than the money.

It has to come from, like, a deeper place. Yeah, your trauma, right? Yeah. We all got a little trauma. What happened to you? I'm curious how, I wonder if there's overlap. That was so good. That turn was so good, dude.

Yeah, it pissed me off. Piss me off. The question and also the timing of it, pissed me off. That was so good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll tell you what happened to me, Dom. We'll see if there's overlapping your trauma. Let's see.

There was a little molestation. I was molested, you know what I mean, a little bit? How old are you? eight, nine years old, ten maybe? I don't know. So that was, I mean, is that a molestation or do you kind of like, at that age? I had down syndrome. I've heard this.

Yeah. Exactly, exactly. Don't laugh. And my dad used to beat me. With what? With golf clubs, tennis rackets. Bamboo? No, not bamboo.

I mean, I'm sorry. My dad's not a Shaolin monk. He's bald. Yeah, yeah. He's got the white. You know what? Yeah, yeah, he's not, you know what I mean? Yeah, he's just a immigrant.

You regular old immigrant, dude, what did he beat? Did he beat you with chopsticks? What? That's racist. Oh, what that? Oh, what that? That's racist. You know, we were at the line and then you crossed it.

Oh, come on. God, a white girl doing it too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. White shame. White shame. Konichua. That's fucking Korean, not Korean.

That's Japanese. Please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it right. Okay. Ania seo. Yeah, that's it. That's Korea.

There we go. You guys are teaching her. No, she knows. Really? Yeah, she's being a bastard. Yeah, yeah. He's a bastard. Yeah, yeah.

Shit, shit. So, one last nice guy. Give me another nice guy. Oh, man. Let me, can I just throw on an, would I like... Wonderboy. Oh, Stephen Thompson.

Super nice guy. Super nice. And he's Christian. Whop your ass. Oh, yeah, whoop your ass. But he is religious. With Jesus. He will whoop your ass with Jesus.

You could have tried to convert me? He would beat your ass and be like, you sure you don't want to pray about it? You know? He totally who. The Holy Spirit told me to do this. I mean, if he kicked me the right way, I would die, right?

I would die, right? I mean, pretty close. Have you watched him kick? Yeah, I've seen a lot of his fights, most of his fights. He is an absolute animal. He is an absolute animal with kick. Yeah, nasty. I would want to, that was one of the last people

I'd want to be kicked by. Like in the abdomen. Anywhere he kicked you probably would be very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it would break ribs. Wow. This is one of his, uh, this is his first fight. Yeah, his debut.

Yeah, this one's crazy. Yeah, you go. Remind it a little bit? You can't even see the way. You can't even see it. Like, he throws his leg up like a hook. The guy's out. He's in a different planet.

He throws his kicks like a left one. Whoa, that's like a superhero. Yeah, yeah. He really is that guy. Did he retire or no? No, no, he's still going. I think. I think he's still there.

Oh, yeah, this was, what's that guy's name? the other guy? Where's he from? Yeah, Johnny Hendricks. New York is where he trains. I don't know where he's actually from. I know he cross trains with Chris Wideman and those guys. His dad still is his corner?

Yes. He had a bunch of pro-kickboxing fights first, like undefeated in kickboxing. They crossed over to M. They're going to stop the takedown and then just started kicking the shit at him. He's so nice. You can tell he's nice even when he's kicking.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. He kind of is like that, though. Yeah, yeah. You know, but he's so... Oh, look at that. Oh, this guy's devastating. He's a devastating machine.

That's a highlight reel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at him. He's handsome, too. Wow. Can we talk about handsome fighters? Okay. You're handsome. Oh, you guys are too kind.

You're not? You're very nice. Yeah, yeah. You have a... Right, be honest. Yeah. Yeah, handsome. But then you, we got the...

Can we talk about the uglies? Hello. Randerley Silva. I mean, he got his nose fixed. How about Colin McGregor? Who's Colin? Colin Ferrell. Colin Farrell.

Yeah, and the actor. He's very handsome. Who's the Irish guy? Guess, guess, guess. Connor McGregor. I just said yes. I was going to play game and you just fucked up. I guessed. I guessed.

You know what? Chee you, my friend. You did. See why they have you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you did guess. I get it. Getting really cocky.

Yeah, Connor McGregor, what, you have any questions? Yeah, is he still out there? Is he still playing? I don't think so. What do you guys think? You think he'll make it to the White House? Mm-hmm.

He already was at the White House. No, White House fight. Yeah, the fights. Fighting on the White House. Oh, I thought that's the president. No, no. Literally, okay, so there's a fight that's happening at the White House. Do you think that he'll make it on that card or get arrested first?

Which happens first? Yeah, yeah. I think he'll do both. Yeah. Is this we're refunding? Jesus Christ. We are refunding this, yeah. This is happening.

At the White House. This is, it's very like gladiator. It's pretty sick. Yeah, yeah. Roman Empire. When has it not been like that? We're just, what are we pretending not to know? I mean, it's been that way.

It's been that way. You got the really rich people on the outside that don't get punched that tell us, like, it's been that way. That's, you know, might as well do it at the White House now. It's already happening. As comedians were like that, too. I mean, we're just dancing clowns. Yeah.

So, so that the rich people can get away from. Sometimes I feel that, I felt that way before. Really? I have. To do what they, they're going to do. But I chose it. Or in all the money, right? Distract, distract, distract, distract, and we're a distraction.

We're a part of the problem. Part of it. You feel that? What? You guys are. We don't know. What do you mean? We don't have money.

We don't have money. I know, but you're developing because you're stand up, right? You don't have the name yet, but eventually you're going to be the guy distracting. Oh. You know what I mean? As a tool. But also we could be like a light at the end of the tunnel that provides. We could change things.

Happiness for people. I think all forms of entertainment create happiness and joy, but it's still a distraction. I think it's the rich doing it. You know what I mean? I mean, it would be a distraction if we knew what we were being distracted from, right? So what are they distracting us from? That's what are they distracting us from? That's the question.

I do not know. You know what I mean? Illuminati. I don't know. There's got to be some stuff that's, I don't know. I'm not privy to any of that information. I'm just going to distract for them. Yeah.

I'll continue to leave. I'll be the tool. I don't know. Look at me. Look at me. Fart, fart, fart. Yeah. I'll just do that.

Yeah. So you think that when you're fighting. Because basically you guys are essentially the gladiators of the Roman Empire. You think about it when you're negotiating. By the time you get to the fight, you've let it go. You've made your choice. Yeah.

But before, when you're negotiating, you're like, really? Yeah. That's it? that's another thing about that what you guys get paid and what what ufc gets paid right and i can say this out of my own mouth because i have nothing to do with it i would love to come to a fight by the way so i don't want to burn any bridges but um i um i just feel like you guys should be paying paying more yeah thank you yeah i really do because i look at some of the things like but look at how many people are there look at the you know what i mean tickets look at how much they're making their bodies are

on the line their bodies are on the line i i don't know i think I look at some of that stuff, especially if you're an undercard. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just like, sure, John and headliners probably make really good money. You know what I mean? But they're not making money like Jake Paul when he fights. Ah, that's a good point.

Okay, so here's the similarity that you might vibe with. You got the headliner on a comedy card and then you got the beginning to openers. Oh, that's true. Should they get paid as much as the headliner? Yeah, but the headliner pays the openers. Exactly. Ah, exactly. A good point.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're getting a race. Okay. $4. So from a promoter standpoint, that's, I'm not dumb. You got to look at all angles, right? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg?

So it's like, okay, the U.S. God. God came first. Steven's what one. As Stephen Thompson. The UFC got through the politics bubble and made it legal. So then who would have done that if it wasn't for them? And then would I even be.

making any money at all. So there's all these different things. Variables. You got to look at, right? But the difference is that... I do think we all deserve more, but I bet you guys believe you deserve more too, right? Yeah. I mean, gas for the car.

Food for my mouth. It's a George question. I mean, that's strictly a George Carver question. I have nothing to do with that. Don't throw it to the producer. I don't know how you get here. He pays it or he's the boss. We can hear on the bus.

He's the, you know what I mean? The oppressor. He's the Dana White of this whole. offer. Okay? So you put your fingers at him and don't ever look at me when you say it. I'm okay. You know, I'm okay with what I got paid. I know, no, I know you're right. I know. I know. I still got a job. Yeah. I'm grateful. But I do understand, you know, what you're saying. Yeah. Of course. I have another thing. I want to get paid more. Come on, who doesn't. Yeah. That's the way, that's how I always try to look at it. You're a business owner, right? Yeah. Aren't you? Look at this face. Come on this. This is my business. Yes. Hello. Hello. Welcome to.

Do you guys deserve to be paid more by your boss? No, I'm very content with how much I'm paid right now by Bobby Lee. I'm very happy. On the record, I just let everyone to know how. How's that feel, Bobby? I'm very happy. You're just loved. They really respect you.

Why do you think that is? This business is different than your business. Well, this is the question. Do you think they need their job, like their job, or just don't think they deserve more pay? Here's what I'm doing. Do you think they're telling the truth to you right now? This is amazing. See, this is what you're good at.

This is... Putting people against each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what you are, dude? You're like worm tongue or like in... Yes. What, in Game of Thrones? What's that guy?

The Unic? No, not the Unique. The guy that got splattered at the end. Little finger. Little finger. Your little finger, dude. It's bad news. Nobody wants to be the...

Stop. You watch Game of Thrones? Come on. Yeah, your little finger. Stop. You're a little finger. I have a little finger, yeah. This is Dominic Cruz.

This is Dominic. The king Whispers The king is not paying you You You're a handsome fellow You need to kill the king So yeah

You see what's happening But you tried to do it to me First to be What did I try to do? You tried to say that I deserve more pay And then we all deserve more pay Well I'm asking your people The fighters

Yeah yeah Yeah But it's a different setup It's not It is It's a difference Just because they're not As funny as you

No what it is Is that That's not what that's not what that's not what it is Fight fight fight fight fight That's not what it is What is this, okay? Number one, it's like I'm giving them opportunity

Right So for instance the fighter is on a No The fighter is on a card Number one, the headliner doesn't choose The lineup, does he? Yes Headliner doesn't choose the lineup

In the UFC So John Joe's is on the main card he can choose the lineups before. No, it's the promoter. Exactly. No, I'm not the promoter. I'm the headliner. You're all the above.

He's the promoter. He's the promoter. He's the promoter. Yeah, he's the promoter. I'm the headliner. Because he's blaming IMGWME, the same way you're blaming them.

Oh, the corporate. You see, he's just the promoter. You're the promoter, bro. You're Dana of this world in comedy. You're in, you are really, I mean, how much more do you two deserve? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We serve.

We serve. I'll be right. Or, I'm about this. Let's hear your demands. Let's hear your demands. Dom, you're right. You're Tom. Let's hear your demands.

Promote. And you get one shot at this, right? You guys go on the road, right? You guys do stand up. You guys do 10, 30 minutes. And then there's price attached to that. What do you guys think? You go first.

So Bobby's in a weekend in San Diego? You have a job at the comedy store. They all got really nervous. See how the fighters got nervous? See, because what's going to happen is you're going to lie to appease your boss. because you want to keep your fucking job. What a twister, dude. This is a swifter of the mind, dude.

You are. I love it, you just backfired on us. Yeah, you'd rather have your job than name your price. And as your boss, I'm going to give you this opportunity to do so, but you get one shot at it. Okay. But what happens if we, what, but. We'll negotiate like we do. Okay. It's a business.

Okay. Go ahead, Jaime. What would you like? Welcome to the fighter's life. Yeah. So you're hosting for Bobby on a weekend. What do you want? I would like

to maybe get an Uber once in a while you know the metro is not that great You need a manager Oh yeah He does need that

Actually For what you're asking for You need to get better at this Uber bro Huh Did you sniff glue before you No He was born this way

All right They make me take the metro Dom help him Don help him Raise the bar for yourself What do you guys Make a discussion Talk amongst yourself

Look at your butt I can see it That's my boss That's my boss See and this is what Dana does too You think we get to talk to him? No Never

Whoa Okay so what do we say Yeah you gotta be do it right Maybe like $20 extra I'm good on the table This is the guy right here I'm gonna leave the room No no no no

Negoti with that See I'm up with the fucking thing This is fine I'll have a cigarette I'll come back And I will like to hear your proposals Dom's a pro with this

Get the pet and paper out, come on No, but see, this proves my point Exactly, you don't want to talk about money Everybody wants to, no, you just, you can't do it No, I know. So he set the stage for you guys, right? Without Bobby, you wouldn't have the stage, so is there any respect for that?

Is there any respect for the stage he set? Yes. So that's kind of how we got to be. Or you could just forget it and say, you are the stage, he deserves, like, he's lucky to have you. These are your choices, right? Either you respect the stage he created for you and you're on it and let's make the best of it and be grateful and work together, or he's lucky to have you. And you should ask for how much if he's lucky to have you. I feel like the first one for me.

It's easier. It's easier. It's easier. I do feel like. I think you got to do the second one. Let's just see what happens. How much you're worth? How much do you deserve? For hosting. For this. For this job you do. You do a lot. You show up early. You leave on time. Yeah. Yeah. What else do you do? that's, I mean, you deserve... You're that guy, right? Well, then we got a word card for it. You do, don't you? You just said that.

Like, you're not going to say you don't work hard, are you? Like, you're in a negotiation. Sorry, I don't work hard. Can I get a rage? Well, I mean, like... Damn, I know why you're here, bro. As a comedian, you got a word card. You know?

Because we got to get to where he's at eventually. There we go. Okay. So how do you get there? How much do you need to be able to be to that level? It's not what I need. I just need stage time. It's just stage time.

Okay, so negotiate stage time. There we go. That's your value. Okay. You don't want to do 10 minutes. You want to do 30 minutes. You want to bump cat down. No, I don't want to go.

Let's not do that. Here's my favorite part about this discussion is you see, it's nullified. Yeah. You don't know what to say. You don't know what to do. You're going to do your best. So then what are we going to do? You're going to bring in a manager and say, look, these two right here,

best style in the game. she's here so with the whole situation this is how much they deserve right that's why you need the middleman because you can't toot your own horn can you all right get ready remember

lock in you guys have two different options no you guys have two different options remember so how much do you make per show on the road when you're on the road I mean you're the headliner I want to bleeped out yeah it depends what's the what's the gig for casino

okay casino there you Fresno or casino. All right. You make the show. Like without you, I didn't promote it. They do it.

Yeah, but without you, there's no show. And whoever set up... Every single person in that seat coming to my show is because of me. Yes. Exactly. Okay.

So that being said, I disagree. These guys actually bring more to the table than you, I think. And I think part of the reason that you're getting... Because they're here. No, no.

I could choose... It's a right fall of it. I have a stable. are probably a thousand people I could ask as equivalent talent-wise or more that would do it even for cheaper is what I'm saying. So that's what I want to say. Now you sound like a fight promoter.

You sound like A&A. I'm just telling you. So you just told me these guys are worth nothing because you got guys that'll take class. Here's the reason why I use them. I like them more as a human beings. I like hanging out with them. Boom.

And I think that they have more potential than these other people. That's why I use them. I think that they're going to be future. You know what I mean? Notice the term use. bro be a manager you're so good you're so good dude

yeah you notice it yeah yeah notice it all right so what's the all right so what's the what do you demand I say like 10 minutes of 500 bucks give me 10 minutes I like this

I see why you hired him 10 minutes 500 bucks yeah done And in a meal? You got a deal. And a meal? Done. You got a deal, baby.

And an Uber. I get you flight and also hotel room with that. Okay. All right. Yeah, yeah. So done. Good. That good agreement.

Now we only have one other. Go ahead, Kat. Okay. I'll do 25 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. For four grand. Wow.

Wow. So are we starting to get the big picture? I'm not. I don't even see the little picture I'm just curious You think you're worth 5 grand No 500 Wow 500

5 grand Yeah yeah yeah 4 grand okay So 4500 You think together you're worth Not even 5 grand Together Yeah yeah yeah

Okay so this is why Fighter pay and yeah Yeah this is how it works Yeah so if your self worth is shit Yes All right so dumb this is what I would do then Right I go oh you want that

Yeah I'd go I'm going to call Ramsey. Because he'll do it, he'll do it for a thousand. Yep. Yeah. And you're out. Yeah. Because you really.

This is all hypothetical. I just want to. No, you're out. No, what the heck? Yeah, yeah. You just pissed me off. You're forever out. Dominic Cruz lost your job opening up for buying.

Are you eye of your fucking mind? You ungrateful bitch. Have you lost your fucking mind? See, now this is what you did wrong. You're out. You're out. Now you set the number too high. Yeah, way too high.

So now, now, when you talk to the promoter, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't even show up as $4,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, can't even show up. Now when you show up and you shit the bed, now not only are you not going to, you're cut. Yeah, you're cut, dude. Don, what the heck?

You see what I'm saying? In fact, Wednesday show? He was smart. He went five, no, you're out Wednesday show. You know how low his watering line is for $500? Yeah. He could fuck up every day and he'll still get brought back by the promoters because he ask for no money.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, I love what you were doing there. These are your choices. Yeah. These are your choices.

There's a fighter, you know, do I want to come in and say, I'm worth a hundred debt? I'm worth a million dollars. Okay. And now you're facing fucking John Jones. Right. Or you can say, look, let me work my way up. I'm worth 500 grand instead of a million. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so you have to win? You're in. Oh, you're in. For life. Great deal. It's a great deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so maybe we just...

No, no. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to redo it? Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead. I'll hear your second proposal. Wait, can I redo mine too? No, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, go redo yours too. Okay, so I just want to say, first of all, I'm sorry. Yeah, okay. Second of all, I will still host on Wednesday if you'd like that for me. For free. For free. Yes, chef. Okay, well, now we're working on an...

See, same amount of money, but one day for free. Yeah, you're really teaching me something. This is great. I think you're trying to help me. I know. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're helping me. This is interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So. I would like to hear yours now? You're new? I'll still keep it at $500. Okay. For hosting. Yeah. 10 minutes.

For hosting. Yeah. Okay. Hosting, 10 minutes. But if I can sell my merch. Oh, 100%. Go ahead. And that's it?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, and a meal. I got to eat. The meal is already included. Meal feed. Yeah, yeah. The meal is very important to you. I get it.

It has to be wing-stop, though. You want wings? You can get as much as you want. You can get Parmesan, Buffalo, different varieties of flavors. I don't care. Can I get the cheese sauce? Yes, you can.

Funny story. I actually did this in a negotiation one time, and I'm embarrassed about it. I asked for suits. Oh. See how dumb that is? Why? It's so stupid.

It's like asking. for food. Yeah. If I just ask for money, I could buy my own fucking suits. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he looks good. Why would it?

What's the most amount of money have you spent on a suit? I don't know. Five grand. Wow. Yeah. You still have it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you have to. You can't get rid of that. Yeah. What brand was it? Can you tell you say? What is it? David August. David August.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just fits right. Yeah, yeah. Purple? What is it? No, this one is a red one. Purple. I think I've seen him in a purple, like a light.

I have wore a purple. Yeah, yeah. And I do have one. Yeah, dude, I know everything about it. Yeah, yeah. I'm really on it. Where are you guys with? Nothing.

We're just happy to be here. Yeah. Yeah. That, yeah, that. I've seen you wear that. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Look at how handsome. Yeah. Yeah. Are you Asian? You got Asian vibes. With a purple suit. Your eyes have a, right in that angle is that you could be half Asian. but Cruz is his family

All right I forget it Was you shameful of that No It's a good thing Fuck off What are It's better than whatever you are

I mean you can become up I mean what do I really look Asian Come on That angle you kind of did Well you look Chinese You already said that Yeah you got me Pan Amher Express You're not

All right You're not Yeah Now that you're retired Are you what do you You're great commentator and sports analysis. No, you really are.

Thank you. Because not everyone can do it. You're I mean? You're presentable. I think Bisbing is good too as a commentator in sports analysis. Is that what you're going to do now for the rest of your life

and podcasting and that's the direction? Or you start a school. I think you should start a school. Right? And train people and... Like Dominic Cruz School of Mayhem. Yeah, these are the directions, right? These are the directions you go.

Like, are you going to start a school for comedy? He kind of has one. This is it, right? Well, I think that I have a, I'm good at. This seems like it would be it. I have young comics at the store. I think I do this more than anyone. I take more people under my wing.

Totally. Do you think so? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Because I care about the future and I help. That's awesome. Yeah. So, yeah, similar.

There's a piece of that. But also, you're kind of free. Like, if you're in a gym, working at a gym, coaching people, you kind of got to stay in the, the gym 24-7 and can't really move around, right? Just put your name on the fucking thing. You have someone else.

No, but you got to teach. Like, it's like, nobody's going to teach comedy the way you do. All right. You can bring people in to do it for you, but they're not as good as you, no? Yeah, but would you teach like guys that are definitely

going to go into the MMA or just open to the public? Yeah, I coach guys now, but you want, obviously, like, what you're saying, if I'm going to move into coaching, I want to build, like, a team and you need people, right? But just doing work right now.

I'm doing commentary. I'm fortunate to get to do that. Yeah. And then, you know, I hurt my shoulders, so I haven't been able to go a lot of training. I tore. I just blew it out. Okay. Fighting.

But that kind of pulled me out of the coaching, and now I've gone, I started the podcast stuff just because like you, I like to give back. And I feel like my mind can give more right now than necessarily my body can. Well, you have, do you get MMA guests on it or a variety of different people? Everybody. Yeah, you're invited. Yeah. Well, can I go.

Yeah, Travis Barker came on. We just had it. Maton isn't a fighter, but that was very interesting. You had Maton on? What was that like? Very, very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he's a funny kid. He's a bizarre, funny kid. Yeah. I would say Mayhem was a trip. Yeah. He's also, you know, Herb Dean wasn't a fighter. That was random. Herb Dean's a ref.

He's a ref. He's a ref. I know him, yeah. So, well, I just had a comedian on. I just had people. Pete Holmes? Oh, I love Pete. Pete was great.

That's a big one. Great. He was awesome. Yeah. We've never had Pete. No, we need to get him. How come you've never had Pete? Reach out, dude. Oh, yeah, you should.

He's amazing. Yeah, no, I'm friends with him. I can't believe we've never had him. There's a lot of people you're, you know, that would be the fight I would like to see. What? You versus Pete Holmes. He's too tall. Exactly.

That's why it would be amazing to watch. Brad Williams. No, come on, man. The dwarf. The dwarf. The dwarf. I think I can beat him. I haven't seen Brad Williams.

Let's see a picture of Brad Williams. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See if I can beat Brad Williams. I think I can. Let's see. Yeah, yeah. I mean, do you feel proud of calling this man out? I do.

Actually, I do. I feel confident about it. Yeah, yeah. For a win, I think I have a comedy. This is the other thing, though. Like now, it's actually higher pressure if you think about it. Because if you lose, what does that mean about you? There's no shame.

It's just funny At that point it's just funny Bobby Lee lost to a dwarf That'd be fine Very funny It'd be great PR actually Really good PR Yeah yeah yeah

Yeah I'd love to manage it Oh you'd like to manage that fight Yeah Okay Yeah I'll be there No What like yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah

No I'll be the ref The refs Yeah I'm a good grappler I can take him down for sure Yeah You know what Grappling is what Groundwork too

I think I'd be able I think I'd be able to control him On the ground Yeah Bobby can actually Ressel Yeah yeah Really? Oh yeah

What's that to? What would be? was the nickname? I saw your pictures, but I mean, how long ago was that? You would do a Grammy roll in competition. They would yell egg roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was known for the egg roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're so tired of the Chinese jokes. You're just, the Asian jokes. He's just got it all my life, you know? You're just sick of it. Yeah, I got it all my life, but keep doing it. Is there even anything funny anymore at this point about it? But, you know, bring me Panda Express. No, I mean, I was trying to bring authentic cuisine to you.

Yeah, yeah. Not really, you know, I'm a big... Right. It's a thought that counts he does. How many people have brought gifts for him and he can't be great? Now, you're Hispanic. You're Hispanic, right? I am.

Yeah, he's Hispanic. What happened? Oh, different shapes and sizes. Different shapes and sizes. What happened genetically here? Do you think? Do you speak Spanish? Poca.

Oh, so this is different... Pablo Spanish. A little bit. Not that fluent, but a little bit more. I don't know. Yeah. What's your family from? You know.

Because there's different types. There's Latinos, Mexicans. Yeah. Mexican-American. I'm half. So on my mom's side, English, Irish, on my dad's side, he's all 100% Mexican. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, guess I'm a little mixed to both, right?

Yeah. They say Ireland is like the Mexico of the U.S. I've heard that. Or the UK. I think. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah. Well, there was a lot of oppressive. I think it's you're talking about oppression. Oppression, yeah, and Catholicism. Yeah, in Catholicism, yeah, yeah. What is this? Oh, I just want to show Dom,

some of your kind of your movement with your stand-up. These guys are slapboxing, but it seems silly, but he actually kind of beats the shit out of this kid. Oh, I see it now, though. Do you see the movement a little bit? No, you know, it's different. You know what I just saw? He's actually pretty good at the moment.

You know what it is? You're feisty. Yeah. I'm a feisty fucker. You're angry. Oh, that's you? That's you? That's me?

Yeah, look how fat I was. No, you're an angry guy. guy. Look at my hand moves, dude. Up and down, dude. I call that the heaven and earth,

dude. You don't know what you're looking at. Don, what do you think of just the movement? Oh, man.

Oh, here we go, dude. Yeah, yeah. We need to do this hypothetical. I think I could take... What do I do? Wait,

what's happening? Push pause, push on. No, yeah, push on. Push on. I can't stop it. Hold on. I can't stop.

It's not what's front. Sorry, sorry. I don't know what's going on here. I did that? That's not stupid? I don't know that part. I'm so dumb. I apologize for that.

Yeah, I would never do that again. That's actually my advice to anybody who's never fought before, just strip naked and... Yeah, that would be one of my moves. Piss and shit on yourself, and nobody's going to touch you. But I found that the UFC got more interesting

when women started fighting, to be honest with you. What made it more interesting to you? Um, I like, um... He loves Yohanna. I loved, I liked Yon J. Chechek when she first came on. But then I loved, you know what I mean? Some of the drama between, especially the Rose Nama Yunus, that Chinese girl, what's her name? Wailing Wang.

Yeah. Yeah. Weiling Ma. Wailing Ma. The way, when, when fucking Yohanna was on a streak and she fought, um... Not Jona, yeah. Yon J. And then Rose Nam Yomunas beat her.

Peter, yeah. That was the most. exhilarating fight I've ever seen storyline. The storyline about it you know what I mean? You like the storyline thing. Yeah and I liked when Rose beat that Chinese girl with that kick. Remember that kick? This is how long ago

I mean I've watched the UFC but I always liked when Roe when what's her name? Rhonda. Ronda first came on she was dominant but then you know I mean then these other women Rose Holly Holme all these people. I just like the drama

of it and you know what's that girl let me just see if I can figure on it the fucking Eastern European girl that's badass

Valentina Valentina what's her last name Shashenko Shesheshchenko I know that one You know that one? Yeah

I just the athleticism in them and I don't know it's just a fun I'll say this it's the fastest like women are growing really fast right now in the sport

not just in MMA but also number one I think that it's growing the fastest for MMA is wrestling. Like watching women's wrestling explode right now might not be something that you guys know a lot about,

but it's never like growing up in high school, if you were a wrestler, how much did you get made fun of for being a wrestler? Come on. None. I completely, you're a liar. They call me champ. So he got made fun of a lot.

And there goes to champ. Hey, hey, hey. What's up? You know what I mean? So you get made fun of a lot for wearing the singlet and all that. But now women are doing it makes it not so weird. Right? Yeah, yeah.

The only thing you were scared of is, like, being made fun of by girls when you're a resident. Yeah. Now it's like, girls are taking over the sport. They made fun of me just walking down the hallway at school. What are you talking about? I think in high school you were cool. I could tell by the anger you had in that fight. But look at this throw.

Wow. That is beautiful. Those are beautiful. High school, girl. Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful technique. And they're getting better and better. There's a girl named Audrey right now, Jimenez, that she won state championships in Arizona and beat all the boys.

in the boys division. It's amazing. She's amazing. Literally. It's actually insane. So the women's wrestling is growing, and then that's crossing, that's a piece that's crossing over to women's MMA. But I think in general, women's MMA is going to blast off in the next five, ten years.

Wow. I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you see younger girls like doing it. And when you see that, when they get older, they're going to be badass. Here's another sport that women are rising in, skateboarding. Oh, yeah. Also, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, yeah. Similar, similar. Similar. Like, holy shit. Yeah, like some of the stuff that they're doing is like, wow, like dudes can't even do that. Yeah, and it used to be like girls don't do this. They don't fight or girls don't. And now it's just like none of that really exists and they're coming in there and they're doing crazy shit.

And they eat it on skateboarding, like really hard falls. It get back up and they go back. I just love it. You know what I mean? And I think it's because I was so traumatized as a kid, right? I've always rooted for the underdog. You know what I mean? It's like sometimes even in fights.

If I watch an Emmy fight, the guy that's not supposed to win, I want them to win. So you're saying women are never supposed to win. No, no, no, that's not what you heard? Yeah, is that what you heard? That's what you said. I root for women because of the underdog. No, I'm just saying that I just want, like, no, no, no, no.

It's not that for me yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They kind of are a little bit. Yeah, women in comedy, right? Yeah. So there was a time in the 90s where, I'm not going to name the guys. but like there was like you know Chelsea Handler Whitney Cummings all these young girls doing stand-up

and guys would straight up go up to me go get the fuck out of here women aren't funny and I always hop to their defense like what are you fucking time they're funnier than you are you piece of shit you're you know what I mean I've always been like that that's why I've always like a lot of my openers have been women on the road over the years you know what I mean I just support it because it's like I just don't like when people are picked on or

you know I mean bullied in so it's just like when I see any group of people when the Philippines in general will win a gold, I don't have they? In weightlifting, I think. I think, you know what I mean? I celebrate that more

because I just like, you know what I mean? The underdog winning. That's all. What? Yeah, no, I'm just wondering what out of here. I love that. I love that.

It should get a deeper applause in that. It's to get a deeper applause. It's very nice. Thank you. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up, champ? What's up?

Hey, grow! Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a kind soul for that. You're not like that? Tell me about your trauma. That I want the under... Because you asked me about my trauma. You fucking bypassed it.

Tell me about your trauma. Cruz. My trauma. Yeah, yeah. Okay. My trauma was also being molested young. Okay. Yeah.

Is that funny? Holy kidding. No. I was kidding. Just because it was. The person didn't have Down syndrome doesn't mean that it was any less traumatizing for me. It's all the same, man. That's bad.

A dick's a dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. My grandfather used to say that. So, don't be a big of a big of a laugh, huh? Thank you. Your grandpa just tell you that.

There is. Anyway. I don't know if he's mock. Is he mocking me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty funny. Sorry, Dominique. Sorry, no, no, no.

What was you call him Dominique? Dominic. So nervous. You called them Dominique. Okay. I got nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So then was your father abusive right now or no? No, my dad was a meth addict, so it wasn't really abusive. He just wasn't around. But the trauma is a real Mexican. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But seeing that in your life, the abandonment must be traumatic. Yeah, maybe it built me. Yeah, yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah. Right? Like, how tough did it make you that that thing happened to you, right? The variety of things. I think it made me, you know, when you're young and you're... Now you always root for the underdog. That's why, because you were the underdog in that situation, right?

But not just that. That's where it comes from. That's the root of it, right? You were the underdog in that story. But technically, wouldn't the person with Down syndrome be the underdog, and you actually might have just been normal? I don't think so. He's 30.

How old were you? 10? Okay, so if we looked up the intelligence of a 30 year. What are you analyzing? Why are you analyzing that? Aren't they around the same age mentally? So technically you were like going for it at this point?

We met in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was mutual. You're right. It was mutual. I would have made him the end of dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it also toughened me to when I was 23 and just going up on stage,

like no one else was doing it in San Diego, in, at least in my friend group or I didn't know anybody. and I looked at that stage and I'll go up and the bravery of it because it's scary when you first go up and so I think

the trauma and all that stuff that I went through as a kid built me up a bravery you know what I mean and also a thrill-sicking because I'm a big thrill-seeker

you know what I mean so it's like I think that's do you think that helped yeah but also like an acceptance and a love from a group of people where you didn't necessarily feel it all right you're right

is that not true no that's true okay say more commanding though yeah like fighting that must that must so the trauma

of the um thrill or trauma or thrill of the molestation for you is what motivated you to be the best

comedian I was that Bobby was built by molestation dude I mean would you Hannibal Lecter time your mind

works in the craziest way yeah yeah you're a mind Twister, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he not just say that? I don't know what you're doing, dude.

I kind of said that though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what's going on here, dude? I'm trying to figure it out, too. You're really confused with you. Sometimes you don't have to figure it. I don't know if, like. Sometimes you don't have to analyze it.

I can't tell if you were motivated or traumatized at this point anymore by the molestation. I don't know either. And that's the mysteries of life. This is called a breakthrough. Oh, oh, yeah. Don't ever point at me again, too. This is healthy.

It's healthy. This is healthy. Yeah, yeah. This is good. healthy yeah this is good how do you feel relieved to just let that out really not really no it did nothing for me yeah yeah but um it's you're an interesting guy dude you're it is don't you think that he's it because he's bright yeah he is yeah he's bright you're a bright one super smart thank you yeah you're like super smart and i think your style of fighting reflects who you

are. Yeah. Because, you know, his style of fighting is, you don't touch me, I touch you. Now we're talking. You know what I mean? That's how smart he is. Because of distance, his movement, right? Am I not right?

You're right. Yeah, yeah. Pop, pop. Back out, right? Great wrestler as well. Right? But he is so evasive in the ring. So I'll tell you what I was thinking.

I had to fight a lot of, I don't know if you've looked at the slew of guys that have been in the UFC, but they're absolute freak. of nature. Exactly. Right? When you watch them, you're like how, and me being me, I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to beat some of these guys. And so I said, I got to, they're dumb. I got to be smarter. That's my best hope. I wanted to say that, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's true. Yeah. So that's how I felt about it. It's like, if I'm going to have a hope, I better use my brain because these guys are strong and fast. But if they can't touch me, if they can't grab me, and if they can't hit me, it doesn't matter how strong. And it doesn't matter how fast they are, right?

Yeah. So, you know, that's why for you, or how about this, for them, if you had them do their first set in front of a deaf audience, then they would just be winning all the time. Wait, wait. If they were doing a stand-up comedy and from a deaf audience, it would be a disaster. Why? Because it would be completely silent in the room. It's just like every one of my shows, so it's okay. No, but they couldn't mess up.

here's the thing about you're breaking Bobby's body yeah there's a thing about standup no no dumb there's a thing that's the most important thing getting laughs

that's the measure of you doing well is the hearing of laughter but here's the other quite here's the other thing and not this yeah but how do you whatever they would make

how do you know that's not them laughing and you making fun of them laughing because they're not laughing they don't know they can't hear I know they don't know what you're saying

so they're just guessing based on mouth movement so now you don't think they can read your mouth. You don't think they have those skills. This is all they do. You just can't hold them that high. You just hold them that little. They can't read them out. This is all they do. They can't hear. Of course they can read their mouths. Oh, so the guy in the back of the room is reading your mouth. It makes no sense. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? It's perfect sense. I just played I just played Bakersfield, right? There's balcony seats.

They couldn't read my mouth dog. No? Yeah. So give me another group of people than deaf people. For them to talk in front of? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the Apollo Theater? Or like... Wait, wait, like the Apollo theater, what, black people? A black party? You're equating that to... No.

Sorry to dumb. Sorry. He's never apologized to what guys before. It's hard to manage you in these types of situations. It's very hard, yeah, yeah. How about an ESL class? Okay. English is second language.

Yes. Cool. Okay. So what if they did comedy in front of people that don't, understanding English. But he speaks Spanish. Okay. So technically some of the act they would get, some of it wouldn't, so they're just going to laugh out of kindness, and that could work for them, right? They don't actually have to be funny because they can't even understand them.

Right, okay. Right. How are you, that equating to your fighting style, those? Yeah, I don't know. I was like, where the fuck they're going on. Yeah, I don't know what the connection there was. It wasn't. It's a part of your fucking head of electorship. I get it. You're doing brain games. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I kind of got off track. You did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. What was the original question? We don't even remember, really. Yeah, you tend to do that. Yeah, yeah.

What happened to your finger? Yeah. What do you mean? I had surgery on it. It just goes completely sideways. And it broke? Well, I had surgery, and then I tore it through the surgery. I've had like 10 hand surgeries.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You have control of it? Can you lift it up? Like, I can't even do it. So it doesn't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. It doesn't work. Can you just expose that finger right now with the clothes and your other? This is how it shit. No, you're using your thumb to. Yeah, I can't do it. I can only do this. I can't.

Is that right? No, you get your pinky down too. Like, because I can flick off, but I can't flick off with a very good. All right. I don't know what we're doing. I'm saying. He's got off track a little. It didn't.

It's perfect. Well, this is what the podcast is. This is what we do. Meander, side step. What are you doing, dude? You're super good at it, too. Just one more question, actually. Yeah, go ahead.

Do you ever crack people's backs? Yeah. Oh, nice. You want him to crack your back after the show? Maybe you can crack Bobby's back. My back's fine. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's been cracked. Okay, I'll have it. I'll crack my back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can do it. Do it. How low it back on the right is. You got it. Okay.

I need to fix my posture. So I'm going to ask you, Dom, if, because we're trying, are you going to get me in that November? Where was that fucking fight happening? We want to try to get Bobby and go ringside to a fight. Can you help us do that? What, they said no already? No, I'm still waiting from Paramount. The first fight in Vegas.

That's in three. 24th. And they said no. They say no, I don't want to go. No, they haven't said anything yet. No, I mean, I get a couple to you. I'll give you one. I'm there.

But I don't want to be in the back row. I want to be around the cool people. Dominic Cruz gets back road. I mean, we'll get you decent. We'll get you something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like to go and, you know, when the cameras go, wave or whatever. Okay.

They don't do that or no. I'm not big enough. I mean, we'll, those two chairs. Andrew Stantino gets it. He's my podcast partner. Tony Hinchcliff is there. Yeah, why does Tony and Andrew get the wave and the camera? And I'm going to be in the back row?

I don't want to go. Yeah, yeah. It'll be embarrassing if I'm in the back row. There's no camera. You're a dog's guest. Yeah, you'll be all right. He'll take care of you. in the back room. Bobby Lee,

C-500. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like in the bag like that. That's embarrassing, man. Yeah, no. I couldn't do better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, you're not, you might be right. I don't know what they would give me.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I would like to say no way the UFC would give me shit seats for you, but I can't actually. I know Dana, though. I've had dinner with him.

Yeah, he's a nice guy, and he probably thinks you're hilarious. So I think your best bet because you've had dinner with Dana, is to ask him. I don't know the direct line to him, that's a problem. Me neither.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't have a direct line. It's hard to. You got to think, like how many fighters you're trying to talk to Dana if he has their...

Well, is Rogan still a commentator? Yeah, forever. Oh, so forever. So I can go through Rogan. Yeah. Also, I think that'd be the fastest way. You get whatever you want through Rogan. Yeah.

Like, I want to go to the... What do I say? Let's create the message now. The first Paramount card. You should text it now. Let's do it while we're here. And then take a selfie with Dom. Send a text to Joe right now and say, hey.

I would like to take it. No, here's the problem. I don't want to do it now. I'll tell you, here's the problem. Do it, Dom's here. No, I'll tell you why. Here's the problem, right? I'm going to, we're doing it on the pod, right?

I'm going to take a photo with Dom, send it to him, right? And he's very direct with me. And he could quite possibly say, no, I can't make that happen. which it'll embarrass him and me and Dom in the whole situation, right? And I'll look like the biggest fool in the world. See how his brain works. He just... I go negative.

He goes negative. I go negative first. You find a way to not take the chance. Yeah. That's interesting. I'll do it. I'll do it for the show. And then the next podcast we do, I'll give you the results.

What is it? Like COVID? Oh, you go. I think he's going to hook you because I think he likes you, you know? And I'll be honest. he gets way more, he'll get way more from the UFC than I ever could. And he'll get way better tickets because he's, he's been there forever.

You know, the reason why Rogan is not just there because he's the greatest podcaster on earth at this point, but also because he was there for free before UFC was legal and before, you know, so he's like the guy that believed before it was time to believe, and I know how that feels as a business owner. And he, like, for instance, original's family farm was the first, opening sponsor for me for my podcast. And it's like, that means a lot when somebody gets behind you

before anybody knows if it's going to work or not, right? Joe Rogan did that for the UFC. So I feel like that's why he gets, you know, he'll get whatever he wants. All right, so let's try it. I'm going to go this, this. Can you read us the message? Yeah, I want to know. Well, we're constructing the message together.

Are you crazy? What are you doing over there? You've been. He's just on Instagram. Watching. Yeah, hold that. Let's take a photo with me, Don. Do you want us to be in it?

No, no, please don't. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's a good one. Ralph got seats. Ralph Barbaroza. He's another comedian.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Why would Ralph get him and not you? I'm doing it right out. All right, so hey, Joe. I'm so nervous. I'm very nervous. Say hey.

Listen, if we're a tribe podcasting, right? He's the, he's the, one of the tribal leaders. He's the guy. Right? Yeah, but you're OG with him. Yeah, you're out. I know I am. I know, I'm up there.

I'm a part of the council, right? But, like, you know, I, we watch Star Wars. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know how to do the force, throat, you know what I mean, clamping thing. Well, you have a, you have a... That's what Joe does.

He's Darth Vader. Oh. I'm still a part of the circle, you know what I mean? You know the guy that questions is like, you know what I mean? You and your superstitious, you know what I mean? You and your superstitious, you know what I mean? This and that. You would be Luke.

Oh, thank you, dude. Right? You would be Luke. You would be a Jawa. What'd you call me? Don't tell me what I am. Yeah, a Jawa. I'll be a Sith Lord. Hey, Joe, I'm with Dom.

What's up? What's up, buddy? All right, what's up, buddy? Hey, girl, hey. What's up, buddy? By the way, it's a Jawa for everyone's reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Joe, so I was going to ask Dominic for tickets,

but I didn't want to be in the back, so could I get tickets from you? Oh, that's funny. See? That's funny. P.S. How's global warming? He would understand that. He'd be like, I'm doing it. Can you help me get tickets? I didn't want to be in the back with Dominic's seats.

Yeah. Can you get, can you help me get tickets for UFC? What, what's it? He's not wrong. They might, they might shaft you through me. But if you go through him, you'll get a good. Hey, Joe. UFC 324 in Vegas.

Can you help me? Can you help me get tickets for UFC? Yeah. Make sure they're better than Tony Hinchclips. No, can you help me get tickets for UFC? I love her, we're helping this man. You know, Amanda Nunes versus Kayla Harrison are the main event for that one,

and you love the ladies' division. So that's the one to be at. It's one of the main ones to be at. Just me and I guess. That might be one of the best, you know, known as one of the best women's fights to ever happen since Rhonda Rousey and Holmes, I'd say, right? like up there in the

so I just put if not it's cool and then take a zombie with Dom I know I did I have the photo okay I said okay

hey Joe I'm with Dom what's up buddy what's up buddy is weird what's up bro hey Joe I'm with dumb

what's up buddy why are you saying it this is the way I would say it can you help me get tickets for UFC 324 just me and a guest

if not that's cool two guests what me and me plus one guess oh yeah plus one is good just me and a guest only two people yeah so we can film it

no no no go too but I'm not asking for three who are you bringing probably this fucker yeah but I need to bring a guy you want to go I might be there well he's gonna already be there

can I ask for 500 bucks wait if not it's cool should have worked that in a negotiation you should throw up with Dom said a little joke towards Dom like Dom Cedar Dom can't get me seats. I don't think it's a joke.

You're a world champion, man. Don't make it worse. You're just... Dom seats are all in the 500. Up in the balcony. I've never asked her for this. That's why it's so fun to do it here. This is great.

This is awesome. Dom convinced this. Here we go. I'm going to send it. Okay, wait. What was the last part? You didn't read it. I said, Dom can't get me good seats.

That's funny. Let me read it again. I'm going to read it again. Yeah, here we go. Thank you. I'm with Dom. What's up, buddy? Can you help me get tickets for UFC 324?

Just me and a guest. If not, it's cool. Dom can't get me good seats. Just the same. I just sent it. You're not wrong. How fast are you thinking he'll respond? How is the pick?

Let's just say this. He has a lot. Lottos play it. I think it's just to be like, I think it's going to be like, no. I don't think. Should do a song about it. Can we have another song about it? Yeah, yeah, okay. What do we got? I don't know. Can you sing it? I think you, it's, just voice is special. What? Voice is special. Go with it. Let me just feel it. What are you doing, dude? Joe Rogan, please let me come to UFC 243.

324? 324? Fuck, 34, fuck. Ready? Ron, two, three. Joe Rogan, please let me come to UFC 324. And no, that's a Tino card tickets

And front row I don't want to front row I just don't want to be in the very last row Okay Anyway, so dumb You want to promote anything? Let's promote it Love and War with Dominic

Cruz Some call him Dominique Some people do It has happened It has been known to happen So love and war with Dominic Cruz Check out his podcast You know I'll be honest

You know when I was You taught me a lot on this podcast Can I tell you because you're the Luke Skywalker of podcasting now that we've established that, I would say that you've taught me to have more fun. We have a good time. We try to have a good time.

It's not easy, but you've got good chemistry with everybody. That's part of it too. I have to say another thing. So I would say, like, they bring a lot to the table to where I feel like they deserve a little bit more. Because without them, I don't know how this would roll. God, you're good. Yeah, you're good.

No, man. Absolutely not Yeah They got what they got You know what they got you Yeah I have to say this too During the show

I kept looking over And it felt like Roblo Remember when Roblo was here I'm in my mind I'm like I can't believe Roblo Was in my fucking house Yeah he was nervous around Roblo

Yeah It was like because I've been watching You know Roblo again You don't know Roblo? I do if I see him West Wing Yeah Outsiders

Oh yeah That guy's He kind of looks like Zach Ephron a little bit Yeah So when Rob When Rob was here, I was like, I can't believe Rob Lo was my house. I felt the same way because, you know, I never thought I'd ever meet you.

Really? Why? Because I'm not in the UFC. I don't have nothing to do with them. And I'm a fan. So it's like... You used to have fight nights. We'd all watch your fights. Yeah, yeah.

I couldn't wait. You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm a fan. We were saying the same... Me and my friend here were saying the same thing about you, whether you want to believe it or not. You're hilarious. Yeah.

So a lot of the same shit. Especially your traumatizing story about being... Okay, okay. Somebody with Down syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And yours too. You were molested, too. No, but I didn't do it to the extent you did it.

I was just okay with it. Yeah, it was actually the underdog. You were the under, you know, he was the underdog in the situation. The other guy was different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, let him win. I get it. And he won, and mine was a little different.

Mine was more. So hopefully, hopefully, I'll, love and war with Domney Kurok Cruz. Also, um. I have a question. Yeah, go ahead. Can you go back to the Roblo? Yeah, we can go back to Roblo. What is this?

That's William. I know that's William. Is he dead? No. Oh. Did you remember? Yeah. That was when he had COVID and he was trying to take Ivermectin.

Yes. Oh, that's right. That's right. He looks very sad. He looks sad there. He's also 309 years old. Next guest. Okay.

It's remarkable how good, I mean, not remarkable. You're great at pods. You're so good. You're quick, funny. you mean? A little scary sometimes. Really? But like in a good way.

How do I work on that? Because I really try not to be scary. Oh, no, no. Oh, you're scary. It's your beady eyes. I'm really not. Yeah, yeah. It's dark beady eyes.

I don't like it. A good way. A good way. A scary in a good way. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, Dom, you're really good. I'd love to have you back, actually. I'd love to be back.

You know, next year, that'd be a yearly guest. Okay. It'd be really nice. I really like your style. Maybe have you in Bisbigig on. Oh. That would be interesting. That'd be fine.

That'd be fun. Maybe not as interesting as you think, but maybe. Oh, no, I'll start a war. Yeah, yeah. It'll be a forever war. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So give Dominic a round of applause, everybody.

Love you guys. Thanks for having me. It's been fun. You guys are awesome.