TigerBelly - Dumbfoundead & The Asian Stereotype

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Johnnie Park aka Dumbfoundead brings his new book Spit: A Life in Battles to TigerBelly - We learn how to roast and read the room. We chat racist family feud, Asian stereotypes gone too far, Jonnie’s wild stories, North Korea math, the truth about truth, stealing FUBU, Moncler obsession, and best dressed comics.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are you auditioning for something? No, I'm not... Who the f***ing... Little Mice. Oh, Excuse me? Are you auditioning for something? No, I'm not...

Hey, what... Who the f***er you talking to? It's me. Little mice. Oh! Little mice, where's you been? Hey, boss, I got the drugs in the back. You got the drugs in the back?

Yeah. Did you see? see a two-time patch girl? Yeah, two times. Three times over here. He's got a crazy voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, chin four face. What's up? Hey, my name, Juan. Oh, she, he ain't even from Brooklyn. Who are you from? From Utah. From Utah. What, what you thought? Is there a Sicily in Utah? It's a Salt Lake City. Oh, it's a Salt Lake City. Same thing, same thing, same thing, big thing. How are you doing? Good. What's your name? I forgot. That, Twinkie.

Twinkie. Twinkie. Twinkie. You know what you're? Oh, I remember you Twinkie. I'm Frankie's cousin. Yeah, yeah. What is it, boss? Hey, how you doing?

What did you call Twinkie? Call me Twinkie. Oh, Twinkie. You told me you didn't want me to call you that anymore. That's okay. John Park, John Fountain, a round of applause. This is my... Author.

That's, I don't know. Yeah, I think that's true. That's me. That's you. Author, that's a hell of. Put the book on camera, Bobby. Why is that hilarious? He's an author.

Put the book on camera, Bobby. And give it a rave review. Well, you got the front, I'll give the back. I'll do the back. I'll do the side. I'll do it side, okay. And then just open to one random page. Can I read an excerpt?

Yeah. Of whatever you may I? Just one, choose a page. Yeah, I'm going to randomly, and I'm going to do it as a character. I like that. I like that. I'm not going to do Andrew Rice Clay anymore. I'm going to kick the glasses off.

Can I see them? Can I see the book? Yeah. It's like, it's like him asking the book. It's like saying, you know, can I give me the formula of the nuclear bomb? There's just no way to be able to understand it. Not good job. It was okay.

That's okay. Bottom of the barrel, you know. Can I see the glasses real quick? Absolutely not. Why? Those are like fancy, fancy. They're very fancy. Let's have how I read an excerpt.

How about that? Oh, yeah, yeah. I pick you the excerpt. You have to say it as long as fast as you can. How to roast and read the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we love to learn. I don't know those rules.

Go ahead. You want me to do a little voice or just my... Your voice is a rod. You're reading voice. You're reading voice. This is for the audio book. We're going to use it. Oh, yeah.

A hire him as an narrator. We're going to use that. That's going to use it. That's going to be an 18. hour audio. One chapter. 24. Spit,

alive and battles. You don't have to do this. I like it. That's a good intro. I like that. The audio book, right? Yeah, you do it. Available on Amazon now?

You're going to add that? Well, it's because on Amazon. Amazon never. Because on, well, Amazon books, right? They have like a preview. Right? Yeah, yeah. This is a preview. I'd read books.

Hi, Jaime. Can you just pick a chapter and read a paragraph? off. Spit, a life and battles by Joni Park. It's Johnny, but you know, it's fine. Johnny, aka dumbfounded. Third State Books.

Page 97. How to roast and read the room. Here's a little thought exercise by Johnny Park. What are your top five ways you could insult an Asian guy? I don't know why this has to be the chap. Wait, this is funny.

How to insult you? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You literally wrote this? It's a thought exercise. Okay, just keep... Yeah, yeah. There's more to it than that. Well, I know I'm really interested to learn.

So I'm learning. All right, do a thought exercise. Do the thought exercise that's asking you to do. All right, so goes to first... What's the first... Page 97? I'll go to... You want to do a group reading?

Yes. All right. 97, I can't read to read this. We're all engaged now. This is great, don't. It worked. It worked. Off the first page that he wrote...

How do I insult an Asian guy? Okay, let me read it. Go ahead. What? Go ahead. Thank you. Because I'm very curious about these rules. There's no rules.

No, no, no. The thought exercise. All right. How to roast and read the room. That doesn't sound like a thought exercise. Just just read it. No, no, no. That doesn't sound like a thought exercise.

It's starting with a thought exercise. No, no, it's just tough. It starts. That sounds like a hero. This is how you do it, which is instructional. I don't think that he's going to tell you what to say. about an Asian guy. I think it's just

What comes to the average mind? I'm going to practice. He's not going to be like, call him the C word or call him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's talk about the average mind. Who has an average mind? I mean, you have the average of mine.

Yeah. Put the foot down. Put the book down. Put the foot down and close a book. So if you told us. Just close the book. Okay. And read that first part again for him.

I am going to. Okay, cool. But I want you to just judge. Okay, yeah, go ahead. Perfect. A true thought exercise. True thought exercise or telling people what to do. Okay, cool.

Okay, here we go. If there's a C word or a G word. I don't know what you're talking about with those words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How to roast a room and read, no. Can you do it regular? I'm sorry, I'm going to talk about class at all.

I think it's fucking. All right, go ahead, go ahead. How to roast and read the room. Pretty good tone? Yeah. Okay. Here's a little thought exercise. Oh.

What are the top five ways you could insult an Asian guy? If you're Asian, you probably won't have to think too hard. But if you're not Asian, don't worry. You won't get canceled. Good. Okay, good. Already good. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Most likely within your list are the following commonly held stereotypes. Now, this is where I'm going to have a problem. No, no, let's see. Okay. Or let's see. Okay.

Asians have small. Wait, hold on. I thought you were going to try to see if he can guess the ones. Yeah, let's tell the HIPAA. What comes to Hainley's mind. That's the whole idea of the thought exercise. If you're not Asian, if you're not Asian, like what would be the first things you think of? Don't read it, Bob.

No, I'm not going to read. So, all right, so here are some stereotypes held by people, and can you name them? Name one, Hyman. Terrible drivers. Okay. It's on it. It's on it, yeah. I'll go for a second.

Oh, Kheimen. Rice eater. That's not in there. I like that. That's not. It's a global thing. Yeah. That's not too bad, though, because I have been called, like, a rice picker.

Oh, interesting. It's still not, there's no way that would be. You know, that wouldn't be, like, if Steve Harvey, if Steve Harvey was, like, family feud. Is it on the board? Like, rice picker would not be on there. Cabbage eater. Yeah, like Germans eat cabbage.

People eat cabbage. Sourkraut. Yeah. It's like racist family feud. It really is. Yeah. What else? Hyman.

What else? There's five? You got one. Is there five? There's five, right? You wrote it. I know. And I'm saying how many are that?

Yeah, there's five. Small eyes. Okay, that's on it, but I already said that. Okay, small eyes. What else is small? Something with instruments? Like, they're good with discipline. Those are you talking about Asian Aztec?

That's a great compliment. It's a compliment. It's not a story. That's truth. He's also Gen Z, so maybe they don't even know. I have an argument I have an argument against that They got updated stereotypes

They're good at TikTok I don't know It's like K-pop See? No You want to just Why don't you guess George George I was like waiting to get tagged in here

Yeah yeah go ahead George Go on George You go close your book yeah Wait good at math Small dick's Slow down Slow down Yeah you nailed the math

You got two You got two right on the number. I think that's exactly how I wrote it. You know what I mean? Small dicks. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Let's see.

Something about yellow? No. Oh, I'm already out. No, you get another shot. This next one is... I wouldn't say this is a thing, but go ahead. It's cli. Oh, my gosh.

You can't just throw that around. What did you say? No, no, it's not Asian slur. It's not the last. This is your opportunity to do an Asian slur. Okay, well, let's move on. What's the thing? The fifth one is like, we all look alike.

Asians all look alike. So that was the idea that, like, I'm setting it up for my experience, obviously, in battles and things I've gotten hit with commonly. And so those are. Well, there are other stereotypes that we have. And like, like I've said, like, it's obvious because most of the people in the room got it right. I understand. But what was the point of just listing only five? You have to read the rest of the chapter?

Oh, you have to re-frost. Come on. I'm going to have to. Well, now I look terrible because that's all I wrote. The next chapter. All right, go ahead. But it's like self-explanatory. You have to know what, you got to anticipate what they're going to say about you already so that you can give something bad.

Yeah, but I already have 19 bullets loaded. Sure. Every time I meet anybody, you hear in my mind, well, but that's part of it. It's like the M&M 8 Mile effect where he went on stage and is like, Yeah, I am a trailer trash. I am, you know, whatever. You call yourself out first.

Yeah. It's the tactic of like, it's comedy, right? Like, you know that. I mean. Do you know it? I'm kidding. I think you're funny, very funny. But roasting is so separate, right?

Yeah, because like, I feel like. How to roast and read the room. Because I feel like there are some really good, like, standups who don't know how to, like, roast, like, at all. or that's not like their strength, right? Sure. And I don't think you like to roast. You don't ever do those.

Andrew and I don't like to roast. Not that we can't. Yeah. I just feel it to be mean. You do it all the time on the podcast. No, no, I don't. Mean. When was he like?

I've never roasted on the pod plant. That's insane. You roasted me on and off the podcast all the time. I don't know the definition of roast. You're talking about Kalala's eyes every podcast. Bobby. They're called true. Truths.

That's a road. That's not a road. Oh, so what's the difference? Observations. And observation. Well, the truth is. What's the difference between observation and a rose? The rose kind of have to hit after they see you.

They're like, okay, this might be a small truth. You know what I mean? I think there needs to be some sort of kernel of truth that you can connect. I think what I do, though, is that if I might be, you know, and here's another thing. You know, a lot of people think I'm aggressive on the podcast and I'm bullies. You roast all day. No, I don't roast. One of the best roasters in the podcast.

There's a definition of the rose. Yeah, what is the definition? A form of insult comedy where a specific person is subjected to jokes, ridicule, and playful mockery often with an underlying tone of affection or intended humor. That's like your whole... Okay. There's love behind it. No, no, let me defend my mouth real quick, okay.

We just laughed. The guy who said the C word. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I haven't forgot about that. What? Oh. I can't get canceled. Hey, look, this is one's funny.

You wrote that? We found your audience, now. I read it, read it, whatever. You found your audience. Well, don't say that. I'm not going to say that one. Yeah, yeah. Here's a roast for you, Bobby.

Yeah, I'll beat your ass like a Korean dad when you bring a B and Math. Where's that from? Is this from a movie? It's a line that I got hit with. I'll beat your ass like a Korean dad. Oh, well, say it like where you're watching me. I'll beat your ass like a Korean dad when you bring home a B and math. And everyone goes, ah!

Yeah. And then he starts pop-locking. He starts doing the robot. We do, that's what he do, right? They don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do me another one. I like this one. Which one of y'all's...

Oh, you read that one. Yeah, you read it. No, no, there's another... Give me a roast. Okay. When it's raining cats and dogs, you run outside. You run outside with packs of sauce. Oh!

Oh, yeah. I was. I'm gonna do this. You can't see me. I say one more. Say one more. Yo, look at your fucking moon shape, Lucy Lou face. Your dick is half used tube of a toothpaste. And then the head explodes.

Well, I understand it now. Yeah. The funny thing is all those jokes don't work against him. They're not good at all. Here's a thing. Well, if you're reading the roast in a book, it's not going to hit the same when you were there. book. It's a good book. Thank you. Do you have even read the book? I read the whole book. No, you didn't. You didn't read it? I read backwards.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I want to say is, and I just want to get to this argument and let's we can move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this that me and Andrew don't roast, like, we've been asked to do roasts on Comedy Central. And it's like, number, number one, I don't write that way. Yeah. And I think roasts have punchlines in them. You know what I mean? And it's, and it heavy references. I mean, they're designed, right? I mean, a good rose is clever. You know what I mean?

They usually have cultural significance of what's going on now. And I think that, and they're mean, a lot of it's mean. So it's like, for me, it's like, I feel bad about it. What I'm doing here on this podcast and just literally looking at your face.

Yeah. You're right? And just seeing what I'm seeing. So what would you say now? I just think that he's, uh, No, how you doing? I can say it like this, you know.

Some people call choking the chicken. That was a friend of mine in the neighborhood. Stroke in the pipe. That's another friend of mine. You know, I like the word wank. I feel like it's a little less aggressive. I like spanking the monkey. Hey, baby, what's the slaps?

Slap, slapping the salami, baby. Back in my neighborhood, I used to wank the papaya. Oh, my God. I've never heard of that. Hello. So anyway, masturbate. Listen, masturbation is perfectly normal, perfectly healthy, and you may not be masturbating enough if you're not. Or have sexual intercourse.

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you look like the Gaza straight. The hormone straight. The hormone straight. It's closed. But here's the thing. That's not even funny. Yeah, yeah. Cut that part out.

No, we're keeping that. We're keeping that. I mean, that's why my roasts are, I'm not a roaster. No, no, but here's the thing. You can just tell, right? You know, the comedy central roasts are more prepared. And you look more like a moon than me.

Okay, all right. I mean, look at your skin color. I mean, way more moon than me. Oh! He just moved on because it didn't hit on Jaime. So he's like, let me move on to this guy. No, but what I mean is there's multiple styles, right? Like, you have the Comedy Central.

Everyone's prepared and they're setting it up and doing culturally relevant stuff. But if you're in a room with like 12 black dudes, then they're going to, every second there's a roast. You know what I mean? Like every three seconds. Okay, if I was in a room with 12 black dudes, right? That'd be crazy. I wouldn't say anything. Yeah.

What would you say? Nothing. You wouldn't say anything? Yeah, because I don't know the rules. The rules is just everyone's hitting each other jabs every three seconds. Are they 12 black guys I know him well? Yeah. Then that's fine.

Yeah. Yeah, it'll be the same. What would be the first? But two random black guys. Don't walk into a barberer. From Detroit or you know, D.C., you know what I mean? And I'm just sitting there and, let's do it. You know what I'm not going to say anything.

I feel like you would get warmed up and then kind of... I don't think I would get warmed up. No, no, no, no, no. I told the story the other day. 20 years ago I was at the DC improv and I did my show I walked out

it was second show late and I bumped to this block dude and I go and I felt bad because I think I was kind of more leaning into it. I didn't see him yeah because it was dark oh

oh wow that like flew over my head I think it flew over all that wasn't the story but you know what I mean it didn't fly over my head. I know, but whenever I

pause like that, I want to know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to feel like yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't happen. Yeah.

So I bumped into this dude and, and I just instinctively went, I'm sorry, brother. I said brother. And he turned around and he goes, I ain't your brother, motherfucker. Right?

And I went, I just thought about it, like, could I ruminate on things? Yeah. All night long, just like, what did I do wrong? What could have been different? You know what I mean?

I should have just said my bad and that's it? Like I just came out like that and it had no intention of Yeah You know I mean then I realized oh I can't call my black friends brother Yeah he might he might have added like you might have thought you added that in Just for him yeah just for him No but I have I not bumped into you George and said brother I see all the time

SoCal term brother you think it's All Kogan Southern California Oh my brother Yeah there brother Yeah yeah What is the equivalent of brother with Asians then? Asians. If I was a white guy, I bumped into you, and he said something that would make you snap.

What is the equivalent of brother? Excuse me, Math, Whiz. Jesus. With that voice, too? Yeah, with that voice. Excuse me, Math, whiz. Literally, I would not get mad. Like, yeah, my bad china or something, you know, like, that'd be crazy.

Sorry about that, like, yeah. like that or Hello Kitty or something like that. Sorry, Squids games. Oh yeah, yeah, my bad squid games. Let me see how I feel that. Is that the same though? That's just like a,

that's like the same. It's a great offensive thing. That's a good piece of work too. You know what I mean? It's like, you know. How about if it was something like Opa? It's like if I ran into the black guy

and I went, my bad blackboard jungle because that was Sydney Pia point A movie. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Thanks for explaining that. That's what's what's, Thanks for explained that, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think you would have the same, you know what I mean? Isn't Brother Universal at this point? That's what I'm saying. Brother, E-R is very universal. I did a really hard R. You know what I mean? So maybe that was the problem. Brother.

No, I went, brother. That was also 15, 20 years ago. I think things would be different. You know what I mean? Brother. Because anyway, why did I even get into that story? Oh, back to stereotypes and this and that. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Do you know other... Do you see this? I don't want to see it. You don't have to see it. Okay, well, never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to see it.

Okay, no, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what are some other stereotypes that you think we have? Well, that's the whole thing about the book I was talking about. Because Asians look alike, I think it's wrong. No, I think people have said that. People definitely said that.

People have definitely said... Through my wisdom and through my fury, I... Which I think, to me, it's like every race on a show sometimes you get confused. Like if I watch Game of Thrones It's tough. There's a lot of kings and shit that I'm mistaken for each other. What do you mean? I'm saying it happens with

every culture. Every culture. Yeah. You know, I saw Pete Holmes in there and I thought it was Tucker Carlson. I'm not kidding you. I believe you. Yeah, yeah. He came into the room and I go, oh my God, Tucker Carlson's here. Yeah, for the longest time, I thought Katie Perry and Zoe Dashnellic, I couldn't

That's what I'm saying. So that stereotype of Asian people looking alike. Sure. Bullshit. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like Zoli, Salada and Thandi.

Thandi. Yeah, they get that a lot too. Like doppelganger kind of vibes. Yeah, I think all. Margotten. Who? Margot. Margot.

No, just let them say. What'd you say? No, not Margotty. No, no, no, no. So you don't have to. What'd you say? The girl, the lady from the Wolf of Wall Street. What's your name?

You just listening credits. Barbie? What's the name? Something Robbie. Yeah. And then that lady from Ready or Not. What's your name? Something.

Okay. I don't know these ladies. I understand that, but it's like... Sometimes people confuse you for just the same type of genre of thing you're in. You're right. I just want to address this real quick. I'm sorry. All right.

If you don't know what you're going to say... Say it. I said it. Look, that's good. Go ahead. That's a good point. You already said it, dude. You're right and I'm wrong.

People have definitely called you like another Asian comedian just because you guys are both Asian in like the same genre. of thing. I'm sure. Yeah, that's happened, yeah. I'm sure they've said like Ken Jong or this, you know, like, well, no, I got, one time I got hired, I, and this is way before like, internet had just started. And Matt Blake calls me, he goes, this is a weird

one, but they're huge fans, and they want you to do this convention in Texas. And I go, how much is it? And they gave me, it was pretty good money. And so I go, I'll do it. The day before the guy, I forgot what company was, he called me and he goes, Hey, I just want to ask, we're excited.

You have a Southern accent, right? And I go, oh, you're thinking about Henry. Oh, Henry Chow, yeah. Right, and they go, oh, shit. That's crazy. Yeah, we don't want, we're not going to do it. And I go, okay, I get it. That's wild.

Yeah. That happens with me and Timothy, they're like. Chalameh. Yeah, me and Shalemps out. Yeah, me and Shalem. Yeah, you're a child. No, Tim, uh, Chank Taranxu,

Timothy de la Ghetto, you know, uh, love them. Yeah, but like, it's because we're both you,

in hip hop spaces, like, you would look, no thing. That's what I'm saying. You look more like Timothy Jaleman. Yeah, you look more like.

You'd really do more look like Timothy Jellman. Yeah, but I get that just because, good point. Two people that are in like a specific space, you know, like Asian dudes in hip hop or whileing out or whatever. Let me see.

Um, I have gotten this. Yeah, people made a lid. Do you guys see these ones? Amanda Pete, I don't think they do not look alike. Because Lake Mill is a very specific. They look nothing alike.

That's crazy. That's crazy. Peter Dinklage and Ice Tea? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of could see that one. I could see that. This one, yes. Yes.

Yeah. That one's really hard. This one's, yeah. That's really hard. Like, I can see myself go up. Margo Robbie and Sophia. They just have that a certain, look. They have a vibe for sure.

No, you know who's the, it's, um, Javier Bardem and that other guy. Yes, that's a hard one. That's a difficult one. Harvey Bardem and who? Look it up. Double ganger. That's a hard one.

I could see this like, it's the guy from like, what show. He's in a couple of movies. He's in like that. Oh, Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Yes. Oh, Negan.

Isn't it in Watchman? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy. They do have the same face. Yeah. Can you put him back in? Yeah. Yeah.

What do we got? Look at that. Bottom line. Right. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

So white people, Mexican people, Spanish people, everyone looks a lot. Everyone has somebody. To me, that's a really good one. Margot Robbie and Emma Mackey from sex education. Yeah, that's a tough one. Extremely similar. Like, they could be sisters. Yeah, so that stereotype, let's go back to the stereotype.

That stereotype to me is not real. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. The Asian people look like. So if you further read it, so it doesn't look like I'm just teaching how to people. Teaching people. how to wrote Asian people. That's what the whole book's about, guys, is. I break down how a lot of those things are false statistically, too. I actually have facts and historical. Well, I, oh, well,

statistically, I think the Asian eyes, you know what I mean? Let me give me the statistics on the Asian eyes. Well, take a look. Nicker read. Well, you didn't memorize it. You wrote it. I didn't memorize the whole book. I want to know statistically Asian eyes. Page 98. As for Dick Size, A.O., a 2015 study published in the B.JU International Journal of Urology analyzed 15,000 penises from around the world and determined no evidence that penis-sized differences were linked to race. Bingo! Thank you for doing the research.

And then what else did I say at the end of the... You got some jokes. They don't know, read the jokes. Read the joke. The punchline is, I cannot confirm whether or not it was Asian researchers who conducted this study. Yeah, that's a joke. Sorry.

That's why I didn't read. It works better when you read it. Yes, yes. You got to read it on your own. All right. Why don't you write a book of jokes? jokes, all right? Your jokes didn't hit earlier, too, all right?

Wait, I will say, listeners should keep reading this. It's actually really fun. It really is enlightening. It's fun. Yeah, I'm almost jealous that I didn't write the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a really good book. It's called Split the Mind. Yeah, it's called, no, it's called Spit. It's called Spit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't read. I can get glasses. Spit alive in battles. Yep.

That's really cool, dude. Go check it out at your nearest Walmart. Amazon.com. It's available Barnes & Noble. I'm very proud of you because I've been working on a book for a decade. It's still not even finished.

There's a mention of you too in there. What page is Bobby? No, the same small dick section. Oh! Come on, that one should have got a... I know, but it hurt too. Actually, did you mention Bobby in this, I know.

I did. I mentioned something about me having like a list of like petty things I keep, like list. And him talking about me never being an action star. I put it on the list. Nice.

I mentioned one time. And you're mentioned as like some Asian pioneers that I talk about. There's a lot of Asian American history. Talks about Sun Kang here. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Talk about you too. For how long?

There's a good three mentions of you throughout the book. But is there a paragraph? There's no paragraph. Ali Wong had that paragraph. No, Ali Wong, I don't think is mentioned in the book. No, but for me, and in her book, I was a paragraph. Oh, you're a whole paragraph? Yeah, yeah.

And I... That's crazy. Your mentions? I mean, mentions are stronger than a paragraph, you know? Okay. I mean, because, you know, we're brothers. You're mentioned in the book 100%. All right.

I'll mention you in my book. What would your book be about, actually? My life story. Your whole life story. I just said that. No, because that's a good point. Your whole life? What is going on?

Because there's a difference. Honestly, what is going on here? What's it by my life? So mine is a memoir. Memoir focuses on a period of time. It doesn't follow me all the way until right now. Do you know what I'm saying? And so that's an autobiography of memoirs.

Ask me again. Okay, what would your memoir be about? My life story. Say what you're saying. What would your book be about? My life story. Okay. And then you said your whole life story?

A whole life story. But that's what I meant. I have a joke. I have a joke. Okay, your whole life story? Yeah. No. How did you get confused in your own?

I know because he kept, you didn't understand it. I got to get it out of it. No, but I did explain. I have a tick. No, do it again. Okay, what would your book be about? My life story. Your whole life story?

No, October 12, 2012. All right. I know, but if you had... Yeah. Do the thing. Oh! Because it's too many 12s. I would say, I would really...

I think you should write a book, Bobby. I think you should write a book. I am writing one. Are you? Yes. Autobiography. And autobiography. You know that?

One word per day. One word per day. I do one word for a day. The of. If you had to do a memoir, what part of your life would you write a whole book about? A memoir. Well, there's chapters to my, you know, probably, if I were going to do it, I would do it like an era. Where would it end?

What's the most iconic? Well, it's not done. No, just I'm saying, like, there has to be a stopping point because you can't keep writing about what's currently. Mine ends in the late 20s, just to clarify. I think by the time I finish the book is that time. You know what I mean? Like I'll write it the last thing. You mean, currently this is the last line is like I'm currently this old and doing this.

How many mentions does Johnny get? How many mentions? Colila is obviously number one. I think Kalala is a chapter. That's a chapter. I have a chapter about a girl in my book. Is that the one you wrote back and forth with? Oh, I love that story.

I have a part about visiting Korea for the first time meeting a girl. No, no, no, no, no. How many times does it, Stephanie mention? She hasn't mentioned about a song, and I put her in a song, like, subliminally. She should have a chapter. Okay, all right. Okay, cool. And Rick?

Rick has a section in there, too. Who has the most mentioned? Again, let me guess. My dad. No, let me get. Anderson Park. No, he wrote the forward. Of course he wrote the forward.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But my dad is the first chapter. And I feel bad because I said a lot of things about him that if he actually read it Like if it was translated, it's pretty deep stuff. Would it break him a little bit? I mean, I don't speak highly of him in the book.

So I conflicted with that part afterwards. I was like, is this? When he read it, was he mad? He's never read it. And I haven't read it. Because first, it's in English and his English isn't that great. Second, I haven't, it's a little tough

because there's a lot of details of like growing up with him, you know, the abusive parts, stuff you've talked about. But like, your dad wasn't like, was he listening to your podcast and stuff when you were talking about him? He doesn't know.

My dad didn't know what show business or what music was. Yeah. I mean, there's like, you go to a mall and something would be playing. It's almost like white noise or whatever. They don't register it. They don't like it. I already told you a million times what the first song you ever fucking listened to. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's like. But what if somebody actually translate all this stuff you've said about him on the pod, like directly to him, explained it? Would he be hurt by that? He wouldn't even understand. I don't think what I was even saying. he'd be going

oh good very good you're a piece of shit oh good good yeah yeah yeah yeah you're going to hell I like

yeah yeah yeah he doesn't know there's like no I do wonder if this was translated he read it in Korean if it would hurt him you know right

it probably will a little bit is it the truth yeah there's details about an affair there's all these things that I you know and Koreans don't like all their business

broadcast I do that. I do. I think everyone likes to debate more than ever or be contrarians. Everyone loves to battle like a life in battles. But the problem. Yeah, that was.

You go back to the book. Yeah, yeah. No, no. You battle. A life and battles. You're right. Don't be doomed. Do you think this is healthy?

I do feel like, battles. Well, I do feel like I have become quite the contrarian all the time. Like when somebody has a point of view in the pot. You know, I'm always like wants to be. the opposite end and debating things and I don't know. Yeah, but there also is, the truth is the truth. Yeah. And when people can't believe in the truth anymore, that's scary.

That's the scary part. It is. It's happening. No one can believe anything now. And it's like, these are a pair of glasses. You know what I mean? Very expensive. And the battle. The battle.

Go back to the battle. Up and down. It's like even what's being argued that one plus one isn't two, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's an argument. Yeah. People are like, no, one plus one is not two. Yeah, yeah.

Like the argument of, I mean, I hate to get political. That's a real argument. That's a very good, that's a real argument. Mathematical argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, Hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescriptions, hair loss, treatments with ingredients that work including choose, oral medication, serums and sprays, doctor-trusted ingredients like, Finesteroide and monocidol can stop further hair loss and regal hair in as little as three to six months.

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See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, menachstil, and finance. Master Ride. Wow. What a movie. What a movie. You know, I really love Bob Odenkirk's Rise. You know, we had David Cross here and from Mr. Schau. And from the creator of John Wick and nobody. You see nobody yet? I haven't seen nobody yet. Oh, my, there's two of them. Really? Yeah, I love both of them. Yeah.

Comes a new movie called Normal, a double-barreled shotgun blast of Pure Mayhem for Sheriff Ulysses, played by Bob Oden Kirk. a new job as temporary sheriff in a quaint town of normal, Minnesota, was meant to be a welcome respite from recent troubles. But when a botched bank robbery interrupts the piece, a dark secret is exposed, and Ulysses discovers that the town is anything but its namesake. And suddenly everyone is trying to shoot the sheriff, and he has to rely on his wits and some crooks

if he is to survive the night, and that's all before the yakuza, the yakuza show up. Starring Bob Orenkirk, Henry Winkler, and Lena Hedy. See it, only indeed. starring April 17. What did you guys think of the trailer? I thought the trailer was great. I think that he's on a role.

And Magnolia Pictures is a great production company. I don't think you can go wrong with it. So it looks great. Looks amazing. Yep. Check it out. No. I had a North Korean dude on my podcast.

And he was saying, that's not an insult. I've never met in North Korea. That would be a battle line that I would get used against. me. He said that one plus one in classrooms in North Korea is just bigger one. That's what they said. He learned growing up.

One plus one is bigger one. Yeah. Wait, wait. One plus one is bigger one. Just larger one. Depending where you learn math, changes your whole life trajectory. Holy fucking blow up.

Did you not read Malcolm Gladwell and like how math is taught in Asia versus how math is taught here? Oh, they teach me that Asian math. I forgot. I was raised in Asia, but somehow I've forgotten. But I think that, yeah, it changes the way, like, societies even build, like agriculture, like everything, right? Yeah, it was like how you count in Chinese is automatic math.

Like, it's 20 plus 2. It is 22, so you know, like, addition a lot easier. Oh, 20 plus 2 is 22. That is true. Yeah. That is true. That's very interesting. Do Hispanics have a certain way to do math?

Yeah. Tell me. Like in Mexico, they do like the fruits. Oh, instead of numbers, they just use fruits. They use fruits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of fruit? Oranges.

Papaya, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pineapple. No, I don't know. I just make that up. Sound of my ass. Yeah, we knew you made it up. You didn't trick us. Yeah, yeah.

I've never seen a Mexican guy on the ground going do papay. Yeah. They use Uno cards. They use Uno cards. That's three. No. What?

Uno cards. Oh, shit. Skip. I got to skip. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't grow up in Mexico.

We understand that. You grew up in Texas. What's the highest math you gone to? I think I stopped that pre-algebra. My senior year in high school, I walked into my math class. And guess who was in my class? My brother. And he was a freshman.

Wow. Oh. You were in geometry then In your senior year Yeah, I don't know And I go, what are you doing here Steve? My brother goes, What are you doing here, buddy?

I really do bad at this. You know this. That's hilarious. I was in with a bunch of freshmen's. Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there you go. We sat next to each other

was a blast. We would draw little figurines. Was he a better student than you? Yeah, way. Yeah, he went to college. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He also said freshmen's. English was also very strong.

What? Fresh men. It's fresh men's. There's plural. There's one person that shows up, hi, I'm a freshman. I can't wait to. I'm the only one.

I can't wait to read your book. Bick me up, Gilb. Back me up, Gilber. That makes sense. It makes sense. All right. Sophomores. I shouldn't talk.

My English is not great. No, mine's terrible. Minds. It's weird that you would correct me on that. It was just funny at the time of the head. Yeah, yeah. I think I did better than you. I think you did.

Yeah. What was the geometry? Is that after pre-adrebra? No. Wait, did you then, no, geometry's before. Yeah. Only before. Did you then get your GD?

No. Oh, you don't have, you have no. I dropped out a 10th grade and my parents didn't even know I dropped out for another two years. Wow. How did you fake it? I would wake up, put all my backpack, go to the bus stop and just go chill at some friend's house. For like an extra two years and just smoke weed, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You know, my younger sister dropped out too, so we're both high school dropped out. So we have two different Korean kinds of parents then. Yeah, there is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, there's two types. Mm-hmm. I mean, because if I dropped out of high school, you would not see me here right now. You're gone, brother.

I would have, they literally would have killed me. Oh, you think so? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. I would just be in a mine somewhere and, like, North Korea, like, shoveling. I don't know.

But labor camp, yeah. If I dropped out, there was just no possible. I mean, because I was using drugs. Sure. And they would throw me into rehab. As soon as I was rehab, the next day I was back in school. Damn.

You know what I mean? There was no like, you have to graduate. But they didn't care about college. They were just like high school at least. They just knew college wasn't in the future. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. But in terms of high school, that was their bottom line.

Damn, I don't think a high school diploma means much to a Korean family. I feel like college is always the focus a little bit, you know? Yeah, but you didn't even go to that. Yeah, I didn't. You know what I mean? That's insane to me. It is insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You ever just think about like getting your G. D anyways, just to be like, you know, I'm, I, I, because you don't need it. You don't need it, really. I mean, you don't. But I'm just saying, like, well, you're not going to need college anymore. No, I know you're right. I think, I think that's a dead institution. Chat Chippy T, unless you're a genius.

Or like, you need to be a doctor, go to college, right? Yeah, or you're like, it's so smart. You go to MIT or whatever. I think maybe that will help. I don't know much, all right? George, when you look at me, you look at it as if, like, I don't know anything. What are you talking about? You're like, here he goes again.

What are you thinking? Here he goes here he goes Wait, where did you graduate, George? You know what I mean? Which one? Ivy League. Ivy League? Michigan undergrad, Columbia University.

Oh, wow. Wow. Isn't that interesting? You work for me. It was a geometry in high school. My pod produces. That's so interesting to me. This 23-year-old is a Harvard graduate.

You are so right. Like, a high school dropout and a college, like, drop out like a writ there were two richest people in the room yeah i mean that should tell you something he has a higher tax bracket than i do but that's not true that's definitely true that's that's that's no that's definitely trueism and i that's what i'm talking about earlier oh truth i did love that my my uh pod producers 23 recent harvard grad and i was like damn like you work for me yeah because i just like i said i think the institution is dead unless you know i mean you were a genius yeah but even

geniuses like Mark Zuckerberg dropped out. Yeah, the richest people dropped out to Harvard. Yeah, but then he stole Facebook, so. Oh, here we go. Here we gozy. Now, time for it. Jaime's conspiracy. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Give your, when you go to Harvard, you get to steal a lot more expensive things. Oh, he's saying the access. Yeah. He has access to the smartest mind. What was the original Facebook? One was two twins?

Myspace. No. No. That's Tom. The guy who did Napster was that guy. Sean. Yeah. Friendster.

She's going to school and steal stuff then. Yeah. I have a lot of stuff in the book about scamming and stealing it too. What's the story that you... This is bad. When I was like 12 years old, I would go into apartment buildings and go to the laundry room and steal clothes out of the washer and dryer while they're washing. You know, this has happened to me.

Oh, you're the guy. We would call it... We would call laundry shopping. Yeah, we would do this. Well, okay, because I was, I've had my shit stolen out of the laundry. I'm like, dude, I'm the poorest person here. Like, this was when I was, like, broke, too. That's why we felt like pieces of shit, because we're not necessarily stealing from the rich.

We were just going to, like, regular places in our neighborhood. This is another thing we would do. We would order a pizza to an apartment building, and the car would double park in front, and they would go to the intercom, and then we would sneak into his car and steal the remaining pizzas on his route. Wow Is that in the book? Yeah, that's in the book

Oh yeah, yeah, that's good stuff You've never had to steal food, Bobby? No, but what I would do, I've talked about this before, is I would gather a dollar you know what I mean by looking at quarters. Oh, quarters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I go in the street, try to find quarters. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I got to get a dollar. And once I get a dollar, then I can get a BRC at El Pollo that's so good.

Yeah, yeah. Remember when the self-checkout wasn't quite like it had just first been established. Like, they weren't that great yet. Oh my gosh. I would walk in, my sister and I would walk into Albertsons with already,

like an Albertson's bag, and we would just stock it up with like blocks of cheese. Yeah. And just like... Charge a banana. Yeah, charge a banana and walk out of there. It doesn't feel that guilty when you're stealing from corporate America, too.

It doesn't. It does. Stealing from people's private... No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stealing somebody's hard, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. stealing somebody's hard, hardworking, you know what's, and I said I was a little last off.

And I remember what was stolen from me too. Like I had like really spent like I had saved so much for my Victoria's secret panties and those were the ones that were stolen. And like my padded bra, those were still. I wasn't stealing that but I was stealing like You sicko dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was smelling wet panties. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was back in the day it was like fubu and like streetwear clothes that was really popular during that time and I cared about fat farm jeans and stuff like that. But why don't you just steal it like I did?

So one of the big things when I first came to America was I really wanted like a Fubu jacket. Because to me that symbolized like the most American like high school, high school thing. And I stole from the mall. I got a Fubu jacket. And as soon as I went home, I looked at a tag and it said made in the Philippines. And I was like, oh, like that realization, I'm like, this isn't what I thought it was. What did you think it was?

The most like American. I just wanted to be American. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, my auntie probably made this with her tired hands. Yeah. But good quality. But it was fun. Those were such, that was such a fun time to like, with all the brands like exploding.

We talk about the Fubu brand? Yeah, it was supposed to be four hours pie. Can I talk about the Fubu brand real quick? Right. I used to wear it. What? I used to wear it. I have never bought a Fubu.

Okay. It did not look good. You know what? To me, if I did, let's be truthful, right? To me, it felt like it was low style. Like low life? Like low life? No, not not low life.

Did I say low life? No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. I didn't like that. I didn't like Von Dutch. Okay. That's making a comeback. Yeah.

Well, I know it's making. Thanks. You owe me soda. I said it too. That was very good. I'm surprised you didn't like Von Dutch because I feel like golden goose is like von Dutch for your feet. I think so. That's how I look at it.

What about Ed Hardy? Never did Ed Hardy? No. Affliction. Yeah, yeah. You know what I did? You know what I did? You know what I'm a flor d'clock.

You know what I did do? A lot, I don't know why. Diesel. No fear. Oh. Wait, but I want to defend you with a no fear stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The no fear stuff was actually like a lot older in the 90s and kind of, it had its cool

moment. Okay, good. Yeah. Did a vision street wear? I did some vision. Okay. I did some vision. Anything with skate culture, I would do.

I could see that. Yeah, yeah. But when it came to hip hop culture, I just never, because he just didn't look good on me. Like, if I wear an Arsenal jersey, I don't look. good in them. Well, you weren't also like a hip hop head, right? So you were more rock. Yeah, I'm more of a rocker, so I had more like dirty, what are you doing?

I think that's just the garbage being grown. Did you ever do fat farm? I loved. What is the fat farm? Or Echo. Russell Simmons's clothing brand. Oh, no, no, no. But you did like Billabong or something, right? Or like, yeah. I don't like the way you said billabong, dude. Billabong. Yeah, yeah. Early Stozy,

probably. Early Stozy, maybe I would do. I think early Stozy was really cool. Yeah, that was skating in surf culture. But I had, you know, I had a style that, I was more vintage clothing. Yeah, yeah. So I would get a cowboy button up. I used to wear cowboy hats. I did too.

I was cowboy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wore cowboy boots. I loved always like how, like, Johnny Knoxville dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was always a fan of this. I was always a fan of this. I was like that he was like a fashion icon to me when I was growing up. Yeah, I was more of a vintage clothing store guy.

Okay. I'd get a cool, funny, cartoonie shirt that was ripped up a little bit. You know what I did that vibe. You know, I never did the brands. As I get older, you know. I feel like you still do, no? I do. What is that?

Bledsiaga. Oh, wow. You're going Balantzia. And made warren. So, you know, now that, you know. When you get a hint of like designer, do you feel like, okay, these do kind of feel a little better. Do you get that hint?

Well, I'll be honest with you. He did it again, by the way. Who? I'm going to tell you the story. He did it again. And I love this man. He's one of my favorite people in the whole world. Yeah.

But so when I was in Hawaii, First of all, why is there so many Montclair stores in Hawaii? They don't need to be there. It's winter clothing. Yeah, yeah. That is crazy weird. There's a North Face. It's like, what?

That's what it is. Where are we going skiing, guys? Stone Island for no reason. Stone Island is like. White Kiki was. Canada goose. Yeah, yeah. That's all that.

It is. It's crazy. And so like Waikiki was made and they all repeat, right? Like every block is like another Montclair shop. A Montclair show. Why? It was, it was. It was literally made for rich Japanese tourists.

Oh, I see. They don't have Montclair's in Japan? I'm sure they do. Yeah, but why would you go to Hawaii? Because it's like, you know, people like to blow money on vacation. Oh, I see. Yeah. Okay, so I went into a Montclair shop and I haven't bought a Montclair jacket in many, many years.

What's so funny? You just said, why are there Monclair stores in Hawaii and that's where you buy them? Yeah, you seem like very judgmental. You're the tourist that's mine. I honestly think like Waikeekite people like made for you. Yeah. You are the Japanese tourists. They're trying to attract.

The fit. It actually fits. Hold on, hold on, why is there like a long camp? Like every. Hold on. Hold on.

Oh, no. Okay. So. You're re-evaluate. I'm not going to reevaluate. I know what I'm going to say. Okay. So it's your fault.

Mine? Specifically? Yes. Why? Nice. Because your brand. right is at the Sephora across the Montclair across the Monclair what brand Colila ab Ocean Club all right so I I this girl that I'm seeing I go let's go to the mall I wanted to check out Sephora to see your installment it's

beautiful thank you yeah yeah so what we went to the sea of the installment before we went the second time when I met you yeah right and I looked at it and some of it was like sold out it was I was so excited and I walked out of the story go there's another Montclair and then she said says, what is Montclair? I go, they just do winter jackets, right? Yeah. And then we walked in there, and I bought one. But it was a thin spring one.

Did you see that one I was wearing the other day? No, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, it's really cute. It's really quality, too. It's quality. Yeah, yeah. And so I went to the comedy store wearing it, right? And David Spade had done this before.

Yeah. Oh, he did it again. He did it again. Right, so he came up to me, took his finger, and goes, oh. And he put his finger around the logo like that. Hello. Yeah, yeah.

Right? It was so strange. And I looked at him on, hi. You know what I mean? And that was the exchange. Wow. Yeah, but it's like, so, you know, sometimes I will do, but I'll tell you what I won't do. Louis Vuitton.

Yes. Is that too obviously? Why did that clap? You don't like it? No. So rated. I mean, that's very good. Thank you.

What's the most expensive brand you would, like, you wear? Zara. You have like a vice? Zara? Yeah. I'm not. You got a taste for the finer things. I don't have money for.

I know, but if you go on. If you were going to, though. No. Like, if I gave you $10 million, and I told you, go buy a brand thing. A brand? Yeah. I don't know. Do you have a thing that you're into, like cars and stuff?

No. No, nothing. He likes food. I like food. I like steak. So what food do you? You drop a bag on food. Like a nice waggo?

Yeah, you like that's 80 bucks. That's 80 bucks. What else are you doing with? What's the money? Branded food A good branded food Caviar A little caviar

10 million dollars I don't know Like if we were gonna go Hey what Okay we're at the mall Right And we're like And we're at a high end mall

And there's a Gucci Louis Vuitton There's a A golden goose There's a You know Just a variety of High end fashion

I have to buy And I'm like Which one would you Go into him What would you buy? Neither I'll give you an option Oh

Okay I was going to say unuclio, but... Nunucilo? What is it? Uniclo. Yeah, I went. I was like nuclear. Nuclear.

Yeah, nuclear. No. Nuclear. Unicular is cool. You walk out with nuclear bomb. There's a word going on. That's so stupid. It's so stupid.

He's got some sea mines. All the things you would need. You know what I mean? A rocket launcher. So, um, is new. Uniclo. Oh, yeah, I know Uniclo. Do you like Uniclo?

Do you like Uniclo? Is that considered high brand, though? No. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying high brand. Okay. I guess Gucci. Okay.

And what would you get? We went in there. What would you buy? Slippers? Okay. That's pretty good. Yeah. I think you have a pair of those.

I have a pair of Gucci slippers. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very good buy. Very good buy them. Go buy them. You want some Gucci slippers? Take them.

Take them. I'm not going to wear them. You're never going to wear them. No. I don't know. That's the thing. People buy stuff like this and they don't wear them. You wear that shirt, what, twice a week maybe?

Dude, I've seen this full. I've seen this full wear a full-blown Gucci suit. I mean, you know, I like, like a suit. For a week? Not for a week. You don't have to wear the thing every day. This is not a thing where you're like. It's not a Soviet, like, you know what I mean?

But it does feel like a waste to buy a extravagant designer piece because you cannot wear that. No, that was from a Gucci gala. They said, they dressed me. And I look like a weird villain in this way. I don't know why I look like. Yeah, I killed the vampire. Did you beat James Bond in this?

Yeah, no, no, no. Did you fight John Wick on that in that outfit? I'm a villain that K-Drama, so I don't like this. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy, but it looks good on you. That's a great suit, though. That's a great suit, though. That's a great suit.

And that's Gucci? Yeah, they dressed me, but I didn't like this suit necessarily. Did they give it to you? No, they had just styled me for the way. I was plus one for Anderson on this Gucci gala. Without Anderson, how many events would you not get that? Let me ask that question. How many events would you not be invited to?

I didn't invite to events, maybe not at the caliber of his events. Not this. Yeah, yeah. Like the Leo boat, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, no, I would not be invited to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe a carnival cruise, but not that, Ritz Carlton.

What's a carnival cruise? That's like a family. The opposite of the cruise you took. Oh, the one I took? Did you take a good cruise? Like a crazy. I did a stand-up on a cruise? All right, how was that?

Not Carnival. Not Carnival. How was that? It was good? It was good to be around some friends. I think I hung out with Nick Swartson the most. Like every day we'd have lunch and dinner. Nice.

Yeah, so that was nice to bond with him. But, yeah, would I do another cruise again? Probably not. I can't imagine a cruise being fun like that. No, this one I feel like, I look like a magician. What brand is that? That was nothing fancy. Okay.

Yeah, that suit wasn't that fancy. I tried to add a little bandana around my neck to give it a little. little twist. Yeah. Is that chest hair unless your tattoo? No. Yeah, it's not. Nice class.

But for me, it's like when I get a suit, I go to Jimmy Ong's and Jimmy Ongs only, you know Jimmy Ong? Yeah. What is it? He's that for the short, the guy. The little people. Yeah, little people. Little people suit plays.

Oh, really? You have to do that? Okay. What do you mean? I have to do that. I was like, is that your fit? Me, Seth, green. We all do it.

Oh, okay. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He has head shots of all the people. You know what I mean? Yeah. Peter Denglish, everyone's on there.

Yeah. Yeah, man. And I go in there and, and, hey, puppy, how you doing? You know what I mean? He's that guy, you know what I mean? He's the Asian tail. Yeah, and I don't know if he has Gucci there. Oh, I see.

You know what I mean? I think he makes his own clothes. Yeah. I'd like to see you in like a prodice suit. Do you like Bobby dressed as John McCain? Oh, wow. That's not John McCain. He looks like Roy Choi right there.

Yeah, yeah. Put the red tie. That's not, that's not John McCain. I just never seen you wear a suit. The Asian. Also, you used to go to Asian Excellence Awards and stuff. I hosted it. Really long time.

Oh, you did. Twice. In the back, JC Penny used to throw an Asian excellence. Yeah, that's the kind of brands. You also go to Paul Smith to get suits. Sometimes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you'll throw like a trucker cap on. I know your style. Yeah, yeah. Not anymore, but yeah. Hey, would you ever go to Houston and get a grill? Oh, Johnny Dang. No, no, I wouldn't. No, for real?

Yeah. I think that, you mean, if I ever acted again, that's a difficult thing to like act commit to commit to you mean act no no

oh no no stop stop stop stop stop a second what do you think that I mean by act I don't say nothing by acting no okay let me correct this

let me translate here can you translate to him so you're saying committing like grills are all in the book it's another battle it's another wisdom book you're assuming grills are permanent

they're not permanent you're not You take them on and off. Oh, then I would get a girl. Yeah. Oh, I thought they were like, like, laser-in. They're not. I think he would actually like those, and more girls get them.

I like the tooth gems. A tooth gem. Yeah, I could see what you. Yeah, you can see me with a tooth gem. Yeah, I've seen stuff. And just glitter all my face. I've seen stuff. So I look like Zeno.

They're cute, though. And I hang out with Tom Cruise, I'm Zeno. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get like a fang. Yeah, I don't do that. That's not my thing. That's fubu for me.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's Fuba for me. You should get one in Houston. Are you going to Houston? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to Houston tomorrow, by the way. Yeah, last night I did a show for my friend Dave, and it was a so sobriety show.

Yeah. And there's this guy named Steve Polk. He's a musician. And I didn't see him for 35 years. Yeah. He's from San Diego, but he's a great magician. And he used to be in a band called The Rugburns. And I saw him, look up Steve Polk.

And this is pretty much when I'm his age, going to be my style. But like I already know my future style based on my look. But you don't know your future body. Do you need future body for that future style? Yeah, I think that, you know, like certain stuff. Like yeah, like this, like look at my stage. Yeah, but you are in the future where you should start styling yourself.

Like that kind of look. A hat, long hair. It's like very L.A. Yeah, but what future are you talking about? This is the time to do it. I'm doing it now. Okay, good. You should get like a fancy hat, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. By the way, it's like such a common L.A. look. But it's a good stylish look. Yeah, but you have to put this into the equation, all right, is your age. I think that when I'm set, what are you looking at, Alex? You haven't said anything to me today. You've just been staring, I'm looking all around.

I'm side-hiting. It's been quiet listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is your problem today? I was looking at the pictures of Steve Poles. Oh, okay. No, we have a little monitor. Oh, right?

Who's the best dressed comic? Who's the best dress comic? Oh, I can tell you right now, dude. I give you the top. John Mulane. Tom three. But that's suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think the best dressed comic right now is Mark Maren. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's actually a good take. Dude, everything he's wearing, right, is high end, but looks kind of raggedy. But if you turn it around, it's something. It's just relaxed. He's like silver leg zaddy, right? Like silver leg.

Yeah, yeah. So I think Mark Marin, there's also like, you know, like if you were to take a survey of women and he would be number of the hottest male comic. That's interesting. Yeah, Mark Marin is the hottest male comic. Yes, by a long shot. Fashion wise, I would say Cat Williams. Cat Williams, yeah, he does stand out. Yeah, with, I couldn't wear it.

But there's just something, sometimes he's like, you know what I mean, got a native vibe going or. Right, right. You know what I mean? Right? Sometimes, yeah, mystical. I love mystical blacks. Those are my favorite ones. Who's the worst?

Who's the worst dressed? I mean, that's a mystical black. Oh, that's kind of fire. That's a mystical black dude. That is fired. Yeah, yeah. He's not Illuminati. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Just dresses like it. I do like when Bobby's dress actually like tries. You know what I mean? He wore like a vintage shirt, denim jacket and some like non-jogger pants. Non-jogger? Like when he's wearing joggers, I'm like, he's not trying. You know, that's his blind spot.

You're so right. That's his blind spot lately is the joggers. I'm not a fan of the joggers. What's a jogger? It's tapered. It's like tapered sweatpants, you know? I don't mind this. Zoom in.

That's like goat? That's different, though. Those are not joggers. Well, they're jogger-esque, but you know what I mean? Oh, no, they're not joggers. But you know when they're like the sweat, elastic thing on the bottom of it? Yeah, what he's wearing right now? No, no, these aren't even joggers.

Does he wear juggers? Those aren't joggers, it's a little straight line. You know on the bottom when there's like that collar almost like around your ankle? It's like, it looks cheap. Okay, I'm going to say this right now. that I realize that. So I haven't been wearing Jaggers in a while.

You've been wearing straight. I've been going straight and almost poofy out. Yes, I want you to go poofy out. I have been doing that. Okay, cool. So one self-reflects. One grows and one evolves.

I think your final blind spot is the golden goose. Wow. Wow. It's a blind spot. What do you think is a good shoot? That's his, because I think Bobby has impeccable style

and when I look at his closet, I'm like, oh my God, he takes risks. It's so cool. Yeah. You're such a fashion icon. the golden goose is like drive me mad. Because I feel as though like it's a very like millennial girl brand. But maybe you're like...

I'm femme. No, it's not your femme. Maybe you are subverting something here by like, you know, like being a golden goose stand. Because you do wear him well. I think maybe I'm just like swayed by the whole like millennial woman love for it. You know who style kind of like Catherine Blanford's kind of... She's a good style. She has kind of an insane...

She's a great. I like that style. The girl that I'm seeing has that style. Oh, really? Yeah, of mitch match clothing. You know what I mean? Camel pants. Yeah, it's like how does this work?

But somehow it works. It's, you know what I call it? Eastern European clothing? But also, they're just hot chicks. They are. They are hot. So it's like anything looks good. Like the girl you're seeing, you could put anything on her.

She's tall. She's beautiful. Like, anything would look good on her. That's a good. That's a good. That helps a lot. It helps a lot. Oh, does it help a lot?

Yeah. Okay. It's like Adam Sandler, you know? He's at, he's at, him Sandler so you could wear anything. Yeah, but judge his style. Well, people like still love his style, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's an interesting style. It is. Yeah, I'd like to talk about worst-dressed comedians. But let's go best. Here's another one. And you may like him or not, I love him, but Dean Delray. You said worse? No, best.

I got to see the style. Dean Delray. There's a lot of made worn, right? And, like, Japanese salvage. Yeah, so I learned from Kevin Christie and Dean Delray. Kevin Christie dress as well. Yeah, about, you know what I mean, about raw denim.

I learned from Kevin Christie. Yeah. You mean, so, you know, you learn. Let's go average. Why average? I like average. Brad Williams. He's pretty good.

That's it. It doesn't have a lot of options. Average. Average. He's got to go to kids gap. Think about what he has to do. He has to go to him the kids gap. Yeah.

Right. But he can't wear the like, you know what I mean, the minnie, you know, pajama. So he has to go like, he has to go to certain sections of, you know what I mean? And then he has to have a lot of things tailored to him. Yeah.

Right. So that's a terrible, I love him, but for what he's given. And I could say that about myself. If anyone doesn't know, Brad Wims is a dwarf, a little person.

And, but I also look at my own body and go, what, what, you know what I mean, I would love, to look great in a black suit and look like Daniel Day Lewis. But it should be... I just don't have a thin, white, tall body for that type of...

It's less fabric. It should be cheaper. It's not cheaper. It's not? Children's clothing are the most expensive things you'll ever buy. But I remember getting Jordan's, if you got the kid's size, it was like cheaper than the adult size. Really?

Really? Yeah. Oh my God. When you have a kid, when you have a kid, you guys are going to freak out because there's so many grade kids brands. Like Mini Rodini and like one. shirt's like 200 bucks but then I buy it. I buy it. It's so exciting because there's so many cooler options for kids. Yeah, I'm never going to have kids. Let's start with that.

Can't wait until it happens. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you'll ever have my kids. Who knows? I do. If I got to go pregnant, I'd just be like, I'd be like, you know what? I might roll with you. You know what? You're right. I'm right. I'm sorry. It's upsetting me. Why? Because I want you guys to not just roll with it. No, no, no, no, that's not what I'm not. I want you to be, like, what do we roll with it. What do you mean? The most supportive partner through pregnancy, through postpartum, I know that you

guys are good guys. I don't want you to just roll with it. That's all, that's my take. Okay, that's not what I'm going to be like, okay, cool, let's keep it. I'm not like, you know what I mean? No, I'm in it. Yeah, we're in it. That's what I mean by rolling in it.

Roll it's not panic about it and not panic about it and be like, we got to do something about this. Like, I'm not bad. Like, okay. I've learned things from you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'll call you a lot. Yes, come me a lot. Yeah, yeah, I'll be like,

there's no titty milk coming out. And then you go, give it to the wife. And I'm like, oh, all right, all right, it's all bruised up, you know what I mean? There's things I would call. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I sounded like just a small thing. I also think that, I also think that like sleeping with the baby in the bed is what I would do. I know, but you would have to be super safe about it. Yeah, but I don't, I sleep one style. And you, I know, but you know that it's a hazard if one of the parents is a smoker. Yeah. Like it increases your chances for sudden infant death syndrome.

So like if you're a smoker, you cannot have the baby in bed. Sorry, I've been, I've smoked that cigarette over a month. Just the smell that you exude? I don't know what it is specifically, but that is one of the risk factors for SIDS. You can be safe. I just got to be around for either of your babies, okay? Yeah, yeah. George, you too.

I don't want to start a fight with you. you. Yeah. Okay. Why did you look at Elf? Are you about to start a fight? Yeah, yeah. And also check out this book.

Yeah. All the battles in your life. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to start a fight with you. Yeah. But you have first baby syndrome. Yeah. Of course.

Why wouldn't I have my first baby? What's that? What's that mean? What's first baby? Because the second baby, she's not going to be the way she is now. Yeah, you're more relaxed. I see. Because everything is not so new anymore.

You're like, oh, I've done this. I'm not as like But also I think the rules that you're applying right now will loosen. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that safety like

when you grab your baby you'll know what I mean when you meet your baby for the first time and George you can attest to this you do breathing checks. That baby is so small you're like is it breathing? Is it breathing?

Is it breathing? Like the first thing? Well that's the worst part is because you're so sleep deprived for the first month but you like wake up and like I need to check if it's breathing and then you're like

uh. Doesn't a breath? What am I going to do if it's not? Did I go back to sleep and then feel completely? They become apathetic? No, they become apnaic. Sometimes they hold their breath. They have like erratic breathing.

Newborn breathing is such a mind fuck. So it scares you. So like I see what you're saying. It's like a two, three year old. Like you do loosen up. They're just so fragile. Yeah. And they're like this newly like perfectly baked thing.

My sister. My sister kept trying to like get me to hold the baby and I was so scared to hold it because it's so fragile. And I'm like, no, I don't need to do that. I don't want to drop it. Yeah. Even I was a mom. I was scared to drop my own baby.

So it's like... It's like holding a 16th century Chinese vase. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I drop those all the time. Three in my life. A Faberjeet egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, oh, yeah, Faberjie egg. Yeah. When you hold a Faberjee egg, you know, because how many are there in the world? I mean... I think there are enough. They're not enough. I don't think they're like... I think they're under 100.

They're under 100? They're under 100? Faberjee. You know how much a Faberj egg costs? Yes, I do. How much? How much you think of Faber Javier? We're all there around 61 to 69.

Oh, whoa, you're really. Oh, wow, I didn't know that. That's crazy. Guess how much one would be? I think in the high millions. Like, just give me a number. Like, 150 million to a half a million. How much is that?

That sounds too much. In 2014, a man found a $30 million imperial a Oh, wow. A flea market? At a flea market? You overshot. That's still pretty expensive. Yeah.

That's $30 million. That's the cheapest one, I think. Probably, yeah, yeah. What's the most expensive thing? What? What's the most expensive? thing you own. This house.

Okay. House not included. Of course it's going to be your house. You have collectibles. You have an expensive collectible? He hasn't upraised them in a while. I don't think he knows. I bet you anything you have hidden treasures here.

Oh, I have many hidden treasures. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For people to find when I'm dead. And you'll be surprised. I have one for you. You got a mug one for me?

Yeah, yeah. These are so expensive. Okay, which one? That's 30 million. Wirt, the winter egg. 10 million. Less than I thought they were going to be. Me too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I expect it. But they're very delicate. It's expensive, though. Yeah, yeah. Would you buy one? No. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. So I would hold a baby, like a Faberjah egg. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Would you adopt or? No. No?

Because you could skip the baby phase and go right to like an old. A Russian five-year-old? That went through a war? Bada. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or it has his own knife.

Yeah. There's no way. Low maintenance. Yeah, I, what? Or you can have a baby and then just, you know, you know, ditch the family for like five, six years and they come back. That way, it's a good plan. That way you can skip the five, six years.

The best years are their lives. That's, wow. That's a great, the best years of their lives. Because it's still your own blood, but it's not adopted. When they become nightmares is when you come back again. Yeah. Okay, the very good thing. 10.

You should write a book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the first page would be to all the women who got me battle ready. That's the intro. That's my dedication. Do you memorize that?

Rememberized that? You're waiting for that? Yeah, he's right. It's my family photo right there, you know. That's amazing. Which one is you? I can't tell. I'm right here.

Okay. What did your mom think of the book? I mean, she didn't read it because she doesn't really speak English like that, you know? But she, oh, like that, wrote one. But you did like interview her for a lot of like the content of the

I did. She hasn't gone through it but I interviewed her because she has that crazy journey through the Mexican border like illegally carrying two babies so with coyotes and stuff so she gave me the details of that. Can I show you the poster of my of what my Hulu Spelso's

gonna look like? I want to see it. Just a poster and see if you think you like it or not. Okay. Ready and go. I like it. Can I like it? I like it. I like it. We'll blur it out. Is it too late for notes though? No, it's not.

It kind of is. Okay, okay, then I'm not going to go into it. Here's the thing. People will click on that. It's very quai. It's very cute. It's very quaii. Here's what I think, like, I just think that there are so many iconic photographs of you.

I'm going to make a call between these two pods and I'm going to make a call. And what do you think of this, Alex? I wear the same thing I wore for the special. And we go to a white backdrop. Yep. And we create our own. own assets. A thousand percent agree.

If you have a chance to switch it, I think if you have time, you should try to do something about it. Because that's what I did with my book. I had an option and I switched it around. Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So this is what you chose. It's a good cover.

I understand this. So this is you're showing people like, ah, man, I've been through so many battles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your inside scars are on your face. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? That's not the look I have. Why this look? My favorite photos. Did you take two photos? I'll take the second one. My favorite photos of you are from Jen Rosenstein. Rosenstein.

She's the best. She's so good. Those are my favorite photos of you. Yeah, she's the best. That's what I'm saying. Rosenstein is. Okay, so that was my big note. Was that like, I think.

that there are many other more iconic photos you can use for your center photo because it's cute but it's not like iconically you there's so many expressions that you do that are more bobby lee than that the photo should be quality of what you use for your profile photos on riah like that should be the level yes it's not animated i got rid of the app but you know you know like the ones you spit life and battles yes but anything else you want to plug uh No, guys. Spit Life in Battles is in bookstores everywhere. You can also copy it on Amazon or Barnes & Nobles.com. You know, it's not just like rap-headed stuff.

There's a lot of great things in here about family, Asian-American history, which Bobby's involved in, you know, in like Los Angeles history, hip-hop history. Why is it called Spit for the audience? Spit. I just feel like it's like a disrespectful act, but earn me respect by spitting. spitting lyrics, spitting, you know what I mean? Yeah. Can you say something, Bobby?

Say something, Bobby. Don't be phased, I'm phased, I'm phased, I'm phased, I am literally phased. Bobby, are you going to read my book? Can I ask you that? I'll audiobook it if Jaime is the narrative. No, no, I narrated it. Oh, you did? I like your voice.

I want to say, let me ask you a real question. Sure. Percentage-wise, are you more of an, give me that percentage. here. Are you more of an actor, comedian, or hip hop artist? I would say hip hop artist is my main part of the pie. Out of 100%, what is the percentage? I would say 60%. Okay, actor. Right. I would say like 25%. So what do we got? 15% left? Yeah. So you're 15% comedian. And well, writer and comedian. Oh, so that's, oh, yeah, how? I just wrote, I'm beef season two's coming out. So what percentage is writer?

A small percentage. What percentage is why? This is not helping leading up to my book. What percentage is writer? Maybe. I mean, writing is in everything I do. As a hip-hop artist, I also write lyrics. I know, but just writing as its own.

The final percentage of the pie? Yeah. The remainder. But then as a comic, what are you? Isn't comic kind of all encapsulating everything? Like, as a writer and performer and everything? That's true. You know what I mean?

And that's the answer I wanted. Yeah. A long-winded answer. A long-winded answer. Please read it, Bobby. Can you read it? I'm going to fucking read it! What's the last book you read?

The Idiot by Dostoevsky. Okay. Jesus, curse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. What's so funny? And the sun also rises by Hemingway.

Those are the last two books I read. No. I'll read this one. That's an easy read. Yeah. You've never read a book? There's pictures in there. There's pictures in here.

There's pictures. Let me show you. There are pictures There's a little comic Strip Just get him a coloring book Okay You can spit the color

Yeah yeah The pictures are Yeah The pictures are You can color In the end of the pictures Yeah yeah Yeah yeah

They're in here somewhere I saw them Yeah yeah I can tell Yeah Anyway give John a round of applause I'm a couple of loo