TigerBelly - Eddie Huang & The Original Power Slap

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Bobby is Santa's helper. Eddie gets the rubber alligator slap. We talk rave maps, banana slaps, and Kim Jong Un's garden. Check out Eddie's new podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/separate-bedrooms/id1677706318Go to www.zocdoc.com/belly and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours.https://tigerbellylive.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today Hey, I'm Mike Corey the host of Wanderers against the odds in our next season three friends backcountry skiing in Alaska disturb a hibernating bear and She attacks the skiers must wait for help to arrive before one of them succumbs to his injuries Listen to against the odds on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts You guys the greatest show on earth is what we did in LA a couple of months back. It was Tiger Belly live It's so great, and we are coming to a city near you if you live in Dallas What's that Austin or Seattle?

Those are great cities you guys Bobby Lee and Kalilah live, right? We're doing our game show live It's gonna be the greatest time of your lives. It's intimate. We're gonna love each other You're gonna love us Tell us hit the link below you guys honestly like not to toot our own horns But this is quite possibly the most interactive most fun show you'll go to in a really long time So Dallas Austin Seattle. We're coming for you. So go to tigerbellylive.com and get your tickets now Yeah, there. Yes, oh cutie pie. Here. He is

Very nice holiday Let's see how many times you can comment on his clothes. We changed his shirt throughout the box This is the first no, this is the first day we met. We're not a lot. Well, we can do this All right, we can do this then you and I Can you put the mic in your mouth? Yeah I don't usually take them this big pause. But like yeah, yeah, I could talk into it. All right How can you do it dog lean back though? Why you so why you why you lean forward cuz cuz if I lean back way I can there we go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I get scrunched balls this way

Like I'd rather lean forward and talk because if you lean back and try to talk, you know what you looked Look, you know what you look like to me, bro. What without the spirituality Buddha? Oh, yeah, without the spirituality Yeah, I mean just a regular all thick black guy Dude sit back you throw me off dude. Well, you stood there. I said black for some reason That's the nicest ever yeah, yeah I mean from the waist down Bobby the waist down you're black. I can tell let me see let's start off Well, you don't ever do that again, man. All right. I love you man Do you guys like off water to your guests? Yeah, yeah, we got water water red bull. We're sorry. We started

Oh my god, you're the first person. We usually have a Yeah, where's his drinks? No, it's cool water. I just got water right now. This is a malt liquor. No Oh, looker. Look at this fucking dirty fucking. Wow. We got a dirty ching chong here Yeah, that's your your sequel for us to brush off the bow. Yes dirty That's right it dude dirty little ching chong Well, he's ching I'm chong. Yeah, right and we really dirty No, we look pigs. Yeah, we really should do a buddy cop comedy. Yeah. Yeah, David shows got to be in it Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he's the leader of something

Three of us should just like remake a Tropic Thunder, you know You land in The opposite of where Tropic Thunder is shot, which is usually Asia Southeast Asia So you have to be thrown into like it's ultra white like a hassle. I got a movie idea I'm gonna pitch it to you. Okay. Yeah, and I've been thinking about this Yo, I think I realize why you're always funnier than your guests on this pod Is because this mic cuts out every like fifth word every time he's so you know, I talk over now You see I talk so I'm talking like ice cube raps now

See that yeah cut out a word Yo, y'all do that on purpose so people don't have timing then not as funny as you no, that's not what you're This is what you're doing. This is so Eddie, this is what you're doing. So Asian so it's good to be here. That's what you're doing. Yo, just speak normally Yeah, no, this is yeah, let me just know you're cheating man You know, I'm not gonna be as funny as you because every fifth word cuts out and I gotta talk like ice cube It's fine. Nothing cut out just now doing that monologue. All right. Yeah. Yeah, let me pitch you my movie idea Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, so check it out. So it's basically it's three losers Korean dudes, right?

We're our age work. Can I be Korean? I do yo at the bodega's in new york They would give me the Korean discount because I look Korean Dude, I thought that was a compliment until the day. I thought that was they were complimenting my skin You have the down's the eyes. Yeah. Yeah, and it's flatter. What do you think? What do you think he is? I know he's chinese because he told me He walked in like that. I'm Chinese. You know what I mean? I'm like, all right, relax Eddie No, he asked me why I was he asked me why I was early and I was like, I'm Chinese, you know Yeah, that's what he said. I just tried to open that way. I tried wait

Can I pitch my movie idea? Yeah, please. All right. So it's basically three Korean dudes losers live in Koreatown And my great-grandfather dies. He's still alive. It was 110. Wow Was it too much already? No, that's my grandma died at 101 on the freeway. Yeah I mean Wow, my uncle died at 110 At the 110 freeway, dude Yeah, no pretty much at the 101 at the 101. Oh bless her bless her soul. Yeah

How many souls she got her souls? Bless her soul. Bless her soul. Let me finish my fucking thing Basically what it is is this okay that my grandfather It was great grandfather was rich. Yeah, and I'm his great-grandson and it's during his will You know how you go to the all office and they give you with the will. Yeah, I was left with everyone got money and shit But I was left with a map What? Yeah, so check during the Korean war in real life. This happened to you. No, this is a movie Oh Really got a fucking talking about it. Like, yo, what are we doing doing this podcast?

Let's find one. I grandpa's treasure I'll be data So during the Korean war he buried a treasure, right? He was a soldier Yeah, but he buried it in a place where because there was no DMZ line then. Oh, right? So we figure out this treasure is in north korea Right, so we're up at three losers We have to go to korea try to figure out how to get to the treasure Maybe it's just 10 yards past the line. So you don't even need to go that far in the movie

No, no, I'm just saying this treasure is buried right at the line But you don't even need to go far into north korea right just a little bit past the DM What that that would like the stakes are lower than no, no, no because the DMZ Well, you're not even in you know, you're a producer now in the movie You're not a writer in the movie. You have nothing to do with that, dude I dare you I will be a writer in this movie. She's a writer I feel like, you know, she could be a writer in the movie But personally I would like to get up into like the butthole of north korea like I want to see okay

That's exactly what Mike that was. Yeah, we want to see it would be funny if the treasure was literally in his garden Kim Jong-un's garden. Oh, that's how close. You know what I mean? We figure out it's in his fucking garden You know what I mean? And so we have to figure that out. What do you think of that a premise? I have another pitch. I want to go to Kim Jong-un's garden. That's personal. So you guys befriend. That's the fucking movie call. Yeah, Kim Jong-un's garden. Oh, also, right. But then you befriend a W and B8 player. Either one. Yeah, what?

You befriend a woman like a Britney Griner type Who you know is already taking trips to north korea Wait because she's on it because north korea has some sort of women's basketball league? Yeah, I'm just saying I imagine Yo, this would be an ill movie though. That's a great movie. Is if we were helping like Britney Griner pioneer bringing like weed to north korea Britney Griner's turning an underground railroad from south korea into north korea to bring weed to

Yeah to bless the country with weed. I'm like, that's a good cause. Yeah, I would give my life But maybe there's like a little hip-hop movement or something going on. Yo, you're taking the words out again. They're doing it. I got too fucking funny I the mic did it automatic. I don't wear the cans over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Because you're not it's the earphones. It's not the mic. I hear every dirty ugly thing you're saying Okay, your voice is my bad. We were talking about Britney Griner becoming like, you know And we're how about we're smuggling albums or two out like the fuji's album. Yeah. What was that one called? Uh, right. Uh, oh my god the score the score great album. Yeah, we get the score. We get uh

Low in theory. Oh, amazing amazing, right amazing and also dog tranquilizer. Have you seen like people are really actual drug Dogtrank now. They're cutting the shit with dogtrank. Wait. Is it different from like ketamine like horse strength? Yeah, because it'll melt your arm Oh, wait, wait, wait dog tranquilizer. Dude, people are cutting Are shooting straight drug tranquilizer. I saw it in the LA Times. Someone's your arm like dissolves Yeah, what I don't want it. I like my arms Word. Can you do it on your legs? I'm just saying like If you're gonna bring all the fire shit, you should probably bring dogtrank too. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're right. That's what you're saying

Yeah, hopefully you could just inject your enemies or people coming we tranquil with dog tranquilizer We'll know what one of the guys don't have. Yeah, no one of the guys This is the premise of the film that we're bringing great stuff to north korea, but also some bad stuff Yeah, but one of a guy one of you Horsing to the drug trans, but then we use it to tranquilize other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah in the movie. Yeah. Is that good? Yeah, exactly Yeah, and then um, it's like tropic thunder meets dallas buyer's club Wait dallas didn't he have hiv? Yeah, I'll have the hiv in it But weren't didn't have something to do with what why not if we're gonna combine to do to have it

I want lesions But like but the cgi. I am in okay I don't want makeup four hours ahead of time. No, I think in this movie We're raw raw because number one. We don't need makeup. Do we no why have the response to you? No, I mean, I don't think so Yeah, you don't hold are you right now? I'm 40. Yeah, you'll get them at 48. Fuck dude. Don't do that. How old are you 51? Oh my you're 50 something I Don't that makes sense though because I like didn't have pubes when you were on mad tv

I remember I didn't have because I was like watching your show before I started jerking off. So I was like, okay That's your golf tree. No Because I was I didn't like games. Yeah, I didn't know all right It took me a while to feel I was like a stupid kid like I was humping the couch You know, I didn't know to like jerk it. I was like, oh, this thing is hard. Let me just rub it on some I was a dog like I know what dogs sound like. Yeah. Yeah, but just to let you know You didn't hump things

What's up with your dog? There's like three panels outside, but no dogs. Oh, yeah, because we rescue a lot Oh, and then you give them back. I did the whole the earth. I fucked the earth. Oh, he did fuck the earth as a child instead of Humping couches. He put his In the soil Mother earth because I thought I was like I thought I was if I come in the soil. Yeah another one of me will grow Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha How cool would that be? That would be sick That would be sick. It's like if you could cut an onion in half and jizzing it

And then put it in the dirt and then it became you that would be crazy Onion just because you know how you can like as a kid you just put an onion in like water Oh, it does That's why I didn't get that because I've never done it Did you think as a kid that you if you ate a watermelon seed that you would grow a Watermelon your belly. Yes. Yeah, that's a thing. I was scared of it I was scared of because my parents told me so I spit out all the watermelon seeds Yeah, yeah little did I know my dad just wanted to chew them by watching kung-fu films

My dad would make up his own wives tales. Oh My parents my dad I would I walked to TV to two clothes and he goes if you watch TV that close Grandpa gonna die. Oh, I go grandpa died and he goes you didn't you? Like he told me you know I mean after he died which I killed grandpa Wow with the TV like ours with if you went to sleep with your hair wet You'd wake up blind and another thing is if you had if you caught lice they would air lift you into another dimension You wake up and you're like where am I and the lice took you there With it with the lice had little propellers. Mm-hmm, but see that's hard too

Cuz I wouldn't even know how to not get lice as a kid. You know, I mean like no, what do you mean? I've never had it. I've had it so many times. What they're so you had lice I've never had but either and the people who get lice you just get it. It's not like you try No, the people that have lice are lice people Oh, wow, right? He looked at both of us. Yeah, he didn't look I didn't look that way I didn't look that I looked at the lice to the lice people. Okay. Yeah, because your heads are dirty Wow, you're good. You have a brain. I'm not saying that I'm not saying that you're fucking I'll take the brain Yeah, yeah damage or in any way, but you just are dirty heads

Well, I've never had lice on my head. Have you had lice on your head, dude? Yeah, but I just want to say this is crazy when Koreans talk to other Asians this way because y'all under Chinese and Japanese Never before heard on this podcast Koreans are bold. I'm saying man. That's absolutely not true. This Korean man's been impressing you guys daddy's home Daddy, did you bring a virus or two? I did. All right. Yeah, we made Sam's uncle like that, right? I'm unleashing the Chinese street fish virus Watch your fucking mouth. All right. I can't believe anybody buys fish from like the Chinese fishmonger. I know. I know Should we introduce the first I think we haven't done that right do the color start the show?

Welcome to another episode of tiger belly on Bobby Lee We got Calyla we've got Georgie and and Gilbert for sure 100% you're here man But we have a guy that I he wrote a book called Yeah, um you're the chef. Yeah, he wrote a book called fresh off the boat They made it into a TV show that Randall Park and constant whoo start on it stayed on forever. He narrated the first season He's also selling shows on his own, right? You're directing itself. Yeah, writing the writing is writing and directing on his own killing the game And I've always been a fan of it. I've never met him before I've known him for a very long time

As soon as I opened the door though, we there's you know you us dirty Asians When we look when the dirty Asians look at each other we already know we know what it's like we kind of looked at We didn't say anything. We just little eyes, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's like you like black bean paste. I love But judging me on is it Korean or Chinese Chinese is Chinese the Koreans. Why did you try to do it? They made it dirty. It's called jajangmyeong. Does that sound Korean? Little no no Oh, that's true. Maybe lots of J's. Yeah, you're right. You're right But I always knew because you go to Korean Chinese restaurants on Olympic to get it get it. Yeah, yeah

I think Koreans perfected it. Yeah, you know, I like the version in Beijing, but because I'm on a Korean show. I'm agreed Zock dog Zock dog is the only free app that lets you find and book Doctors who are patient reviewed take your insurance are available when you need them and treat almost every condition under the sun I mean we do this for food, right restaurants just anything else like what a Great idea that now we can now do this to find a physician that Meets all of our needs but it's also you guys no more doctor roulette or scouring the internet for questionable reviews with Zock Doc you have a trusted guide to connect you to your favorite doctor. You haven't met yet Bobby and I love our doctor We love obsessed with him choose from thousands of patient reviewed doctors and specialists browse doctor profiles

Upload and verify your insurance information and get the care you need guys and lessen the burden on yourself when you're not feeling Your best and just trying to hold it together finding great care shouldn't take up all of your energy And that's where Zock doc comes in using their free app that millions of users rely on you can find the right doctor that meets Your needs and fits your schedule book an appointment with just a few taps in their app and start feeling better faster with Zock doc Go to Zock doc comm slash belly and download the Zock doc app for free then find and book a top rated doctor today Many are available within 24 hours. That's z o c doc comm slash belly Zock doc comm slash Belly Life is short and it's full of a lot of interesting questions what is happiness really mean How do I get the most out of my time here on earth and

What really is the best cereal these are the questions? I seek to resolve on my weekly podcast life is short with Justin long if you're looking for the answer to deep philosophical questions Like what is the meaning of life? I? Can't really help you, but I do believe that we really enrich our experience here by learning from others And that's why in each episode I like to talk with actors musicians artists Sciences and many more types of people about how they get the most out of life We explore how they felt during the highs and sometimes more importantly the lows of their careers We discuss how they've been able to stay happy during some of the harder times

But if I'm being honest It's it's mostly just fun chats between friends about the important stuff like if you had a sandwich named after you What would be on it follow life is short wherever you get your podcasts? You can also listen to add free on the Amazon music or wonder a app. Okay? Okay, dog. Yeah, you know, yeah, you really think that you really think that the Chinese is above the Koreans. Oh, absolutely No, there's no way absolutely because you guys you're looking at mass Chinese you're looking at mass even Japanese people is Chinese But I tell every Asian I'm you know, you Chinese man. You Chinese People get so upset now, but it's funny to just fuck with them. No, because no we have Mongolian DNA

Mm-hmm. Is the Mongolia part of China was Mongolia Mongolia. I mean like everything is China. Oh The first bones were found in China. Is that what I'm saying? I only say this shit now because people get so upset. You know, I mean, yeah, I'm like, you know, this dinner's boring You know what? You're all Chinese. Yeah, even in the Philippines. We're gonna try. It's so Really, yeah, you know, I did look it up on Wikipedia once they said that Japan was actually The emperor's smartest people he sent to find the fountain of youth But he was like, don't come back if you can't find it and they could not find it So they just stayed in Japan and so they're now just a country of smarter Chinese people. Oh

That's interesting Japanese people get upset when you tell him he was so mad about that You know the coronavirus, you know what made me mad because you know how there was hostility toward Asians, right? I wanted to tell these people ago. I'm not Chinese, but we all got the fucking heat I got mad when people were starting a question if it was from China. I was like, no, no, no, we did this We did right you should claim that's pretty good Yo, I was about a video with a bag on my head being like we did this Koreans couldn't do it. No, no way you guys are better. Oh, you are better better. Yeah, come through. Yeah, right? Karate Karate, yeah, yeah, this is an achievement to unleash a virus that took away everybody's parents like come on

Yeah, pop it up. So anyway, give him around Eddie Wong is here Have you Have we booked you before how come we haven't had but earlier we got talked about it talked about it earlier Yeah, but why was it has been asking him but yeah, what's your which so busy? I just never look in the general folder And I think Gilbert was in the general I wasn't the general folder of Twitter No, cuz he was following you guys on Instagram, but not Tiger belly on Instagram Yeah, but I follow you guys and then so I follow you too. Yeah, you had 15 minutes ago I took a photo of it this motherfucker. No, I wanted your your

You know, I wanted your viewers to see this That's crazy Bobby Bobby decided to follow me 45 minutes ago Wow, that's how you've been a fan for how long maybe just like don't even follow just next Don't follow. Yeah. Yeah Notifies him. I didn't think you would notice. I don't have that many followers Yeah, you have a lot of followers. I check everyone you do I check my bad No, I finally got in there though and he did read that message. Yeah, so you went and I was a big fan of Bobby's You think he'll follow me back

Yeah, when did you when did you reach out to him a month ago? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so let me ask you something What did you not like about your show? Oh? Right off the bat. Which one No fresh off the boat you left after season one right and then I read some things that you were like displeased or whatever Honestly in the most simple way is just like to not even get too deep because I've talked about after like 10 years Yeah, I don't want to get this. It's more just like we're we're like funky dirty Asians Right and we were like pretty proud of being Asian growing up. I love it then that show just I was like this is for all those Asian people That I remember from like Chinese school or from the neighborhood that like really just wanted to be white people

And I was like you took my story and you twinkied it. Yeah, and it's serving a different audience Yeah, and like I'm too much of a hot girl to like stay around Something that's not cute. You know what I mean? I was just like no, I'm on to the next one Because I said I I sold I sold a Korean show to NBC and um, it's all Korean cast about a family And I've been very mindful about what you just said, you know Like my entire approach to fresh out the boat was pretty much because like my best friend Elena Sent me like a joke meme. I think way back in the day about mariah when somebody asked her about jaylo She was just like I don't know her I was like, you know what that's how I feel about this show

I don't know. I don't know her Right, right, right, and I just kept them moving. Yeah, but you make probably money off of it. I make money Yeah, yeah, I'm about to audit those motherfuckers Really? Yeah, because you gotta wait you gotta wait for like the clock to run Oh, so when you were looking your page, you're like, this doesn't seem right Yeah, it never yeah, because they've never so much shit to the show. It never seems white, right? Yo, these producers are assholes, you know, yeah, yeah assholes. Yeah, I'm always like scared to ask Oh, don't be scared to ask you have audit rights, right?

Have your lawyer ask so they can order cbs or it wasn't abc or cb. I'll audit every show You do yeah, wow fun. Oh you audit for fun fun. I've never audited anything China number one. I still audit mad tv or no Audit on go. No, but I was on a series. I was a bro. That was money. I was acting money Yeah, but you barely made any money on that. Yeah, but you still can't you signed the contract They gave me the offer of this is the money and I signed it. So I have no life. No Oh, we didn't have that in the contract. We can't edit it. So you have back at now. Yeah, obviously. I said, okay That's cool, man. Yeah, and there's other stuff that you're doing. What is it? Is it Asian based or mixed?

You know, it's no because I feel like when I came in No, it's good I just I have a tick. Yeah, when I hear somebody says on they have to repeat it. That's weird Repeat it. No way you said it was weird. It's good. I love you Coming here, man. Thank you for having worth the same. Thank you for letting me hang out outside with your uncle Pauli sandwich We'll never do that again. Do that He was shivering wait the sandwich you you picked it up. No, it's just sitting in front of his feet I was just chilling with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I opened the door and there he is. I'm like, where the fuck is Jordan?

Going on here. Yeah. Anyway, go ahead. What? Oh, I don't know about other shit. The new show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I got a new show at show time that We're in development, but it's looking pretty good. Yeah, I read that excited about that this morning I read that this morning. Yeah, and that's more like about uh, like the floor the floor to breaks music scene And how me and my little homies were like just You know doing pills at the advent of ecstasy in Orlando and this like music was created Wow before Joe Biden passed the rave act and we were just wilding out What is the rave act the rave act was because ecstasy was like scaring Americans and parents

So Joe Biden passed this law. I think in like 1999 until like basically ban raves because raves were like This playground where you didn't need a liquor license or what not like we were in 18 and under clubs Selling pills just going bananas. Yeah, and that's what the show is. Where am I gonna get my glow sticks? Oh man, Spencer's gifts. Are they? Oh, yeah, you can get a sensor still. Have you ever been to rave? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love raves because they give you you should get in the map Back in the day in my time in the early 90s They would you go you would get a rave map And it's a map of like San Diego county and then somebody would put a dot that this is where it's always in like

A forest or some place they're not allowed to do it at and that was the excitement finding it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It was cool. It was so cool. Yeah. Yeah, but then the then then but the dancing. I don't like I love music because the music is like I would dance I don't like it. I was never a dancer till I did that's actually the pilot episode It's like I was never really a dancer and then I did XC is one time And this girl like I couldn't blow up because we were all listening to like rap music Like we were playing master p trying to blow up Yeah, I remember one girl was just like, yo, this isn't how you do it

And I was like what and she like put on electronic music started dancing with glow sticks and I was like, oh my god I'm about to nut my pants. Whoa. That turned you on. Yeah So you got laid there. No And rave I know you're married you love her I get it right great But back and I know but back in the day dog, right? Listen, man during the raves You twinkly no never because that never happened Honestly on Molly like you could really I feel like you really got to get your dick suck for a minute before you Like can like do work like I got to wait till like the next morning really

What do you mean? Just because you your your shit is not you know, all right up the most vibrant You know, I mean, it's more mind-sex. You're doing mind-sex. I feel I'm I love that people may disagree or what that's just how my shit works. That's how folks have sex Yeah, so it's dead friends mind-sex. Yeah, they do a Vulcan mind meld Oh, yeah, yeah, I was mind melding with shorty. Yeah, yeah, it's amazing mind meld So but in the morning you would get some maybe Yeah

But did you at my point this is my roundabout way of asking You know, man, did you get a lot growing up body count? You know, I did not get a lot growing up. Me either but they were like Well, I would say because I met my Well, first girlfriend was like 14 or something like that. Oh, and then that's when you lost your virginity. No But I had to wait I waited till like 19 Because also my mom my mom was on my ass like my mom would throw people out the house and stuff like that And I just like I was an abused kid. I wasn't very comfortable with my body

Like truth be told either like I got the shit kicked out of me to by your dad. Yeah Yeah, you know, I really that is a big part of this show like I It's funny I won't get like super deep unless somebody asked me to But the show is a lot of it is about this shit that I felt growing up and how ecstasy actually helped me Right is because I felt like my body was trash like complete trash It's so interesting because they are doing like molly assisted therapy now Yeah, and like I without anyone saying it

I was just like this shit really helped me because I thought my body was trash This one night this girl was like dancing and all this and I was like this is amazing I was dancing with her and then I just danced for five hours and it was the first time I ever felt like my body was not trash Wow, and I was I got this ill confidence from this one night doing ecstasy And then I met a girl when I was like 19 lost my virginity, you know, and then I was on felony p and she Helped me down. Is that tv show? No, but like it's a felony p. Oh felony and probation probation No, it's cool. It's cool. It's your criminal. It's cool. It's cool. No, it's not cool

I don't I don't I don't like criminals man. It's not cool dude. All right. I was with her. So what'd you do? I was with her for like seven years. What'd you do man? That's a crime. What did I do? Yeah, why I've never been I got jumped by like 16 dudes. So I drove a car through the crowd Oh, that's not bad I like that. I like that. Oh, no. No, I would do that. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. I'm good with that Like they tried to hit my you're not fellopee in my eyes. No, they tried to hit my friend with a tire iron And I was like, how about I hit you with this Mitsubishi? Well, what would any human being would do? Fuck yeah, dude. Good for you, dude

But now I'm now I'm older and when I see like a parked Mitsubishi Montero, I'm like, that's a big ass car Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but don't fuck with my car with a tire iron. Yeah, don't fuck with my boy Every action has a reaction my friend. Exactly. So anyway, so um, what was the worst way your dad hit you? Oh man, yo, this sounds really really wild, but he had this rubber alligator that was just heavy Just heavy enough That was heavy rubber so it would bend but snap but the scales were dumb hard So he would purposely hit us with this alligator Wow, and he hit us so hard that my skin would be bruised in the shape of the alligator scales. Wow

That's wild and then but where do you get that toy? I don't know. What do you think they probably make it just in Asia? They probably sell it They probably sell it at the school supply store in Asia. So like you're pick up your kid's text Alligator, you know, so you used to use that and then how old were you when that happened? Like I mean, I don't like 12 12 to 16 I exact my golf club. I can feel myself getting uncomfortable though. We got to get off my dad hitting me I can feel my neck getting uncomfortable. All right. Well, yeah, no No, it makes me feel better. My mom would I'm good, but you know, I start yo

I'll tell you I'll tell you something now that I'm older. I can tell when I get anxiety Yeah, and I'm like and I'm not one of those like I'm shut down to I'm not too, but I'll just be out loud Like yo, I got anxiety. The body keeps the score. Yeah. It does. It does My my mom if it makes you feel any better. She was very creative with her torture tactics She would take a banana peel after she would like eat it slowly and like just lock eyes with me And then she would just whip my face. Oh, just banana peel Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty creative, but also just like insulting It's insulting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's that shit would bother me too

My mom would have me and my brother slap each other and No, really? Yeah. Oh my god. That's the original. What is that new new power slap ufc's power slap Your mom is the original Dana white of power slapping having us power slap each other But what did we learn from all that? That anxiety no, no that we're not going to perpetuate that behavior to our children Right. Yeah, I'm definitely the alligator. No, I don't have kids But if you did I wouldn't use the alligator. What would you use nothing, right?

You know, I thought the one punishment that was really good. He all right. Let me hear it Maybe that's a good one And I thought it was funny because it was like he also tied race into it in a like self-deprecated way He'd have me purposely kneel on a bag of rice like, you know, oh my god. Just like I could have done the floor Let's throw extra salt to the wood do some chink shit get up on this cocoa rose Oh my god, I talk about it all the time on the show ours was rock salt. Yeah. Yeah, I would start to seep the salt Yes, that hurts. Oh, yes. Oh my god. How about you guys ever do the books? Yeah, books. Yeah, books is fun. Books is fun. Yo, my dad used to if my brothers or I were annoying and we have photos of this

Yeah, there's photos where it's my dad watching a sports event on TV and us in a horse stance next to the television It'd be like a sporting event we all wanted to watch Yeah, we'd just be in a horse stance with our backs turned to the television. Yeah, as my dad watched it Yeah, I was like and you explain this stuff to like Americans. They have no they have no idea that it's going on Yeah, right and we're living in these these isolated like a couple. It's like we're in a different country on miles I always get this like that didn't happen to you that success. I know I hate it Like shut the fuck up you I saw I was there My kid like if they weren't listening and I was having real issues. Yeah, I mean you like the nicks. Yeah

Yeah, I like the next I'll be sit down. It's like order food get ready for the next game starts immediately a tip off A bit. All right, turn your back to the game and stand in a horse stance I would not fuck around like anymore. Yeah. All right. I learned my lesson. All right, right You learned lessons then from it. Yeah, I did. I didn't oh, wow I would go the opposite way. Oh, what'd you do? No, he would beat me for looking at him wrong You know if I looked at him like you know, it's a way you would go he would hit me and go don't ever look at me like that I was and then I would do it again. Yeah, I was more businessman about it and and I was like, let me what are your concerns?

What matters more to you? Yeah, let me handle those and then I'm gonna go do the shit You don't care about and that started to work out for me until I started to do shit They didn't know to care about and then they jump the one time they jumped me. That was the craziest beat down Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, the craziest beat down I came home drunk one day and then they threw me head first into the garage and stomped me out and my boy watched He's like Eddie's parents fucking went MOP Wow stomped his ass out. Wow. Yeah. Wow. And then my friend was so drunk

He took a shit in the front yard and my mom was like, yo, you can't hang out these kids Yeah, Jared just took a dump in the front yard But become a drug addict because what happens then is There's no there's nothing they can do. They can see their kid dwindling and dying That's my route I was like, okay, I'm dying and you're gonna slowly watch me die because of the shit that you put me through Yeah, that's like small stuff anymore. What so they don't sweat the other and then after I got sober Oh, you can get all left. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah, yeah drugs drugs will scare the pair. They scare the yeah

Yeah, damn, you gay. It's fine. But what kind of like were you smoking crack? No, I was doing math and oh You're doing real shit. I was doing real shit and they would like they would freak them out because there's nothing You know, there's nothing they could do. Yeah, I'm just dwindling Yeah, meth is that tasty. Yeah, you know or you go believe me What what's a believe me? What's a believe me? Belimac Oh, I was like believe me. I'm sorry. I said wrong. What believe it's like eating disorder like Karen carpenter I thought about doing that, but I like food too much Yeah, don't do that. What's Karen carpenter? She's you know, wait, wait

Stop that's an interesting thing you just asked. What's it was Karen? Listen to me. Yeah, look at me. Don't look at her Eddie, look at me, man Karen carpenter Do you know who that is? No, okay Don't you remember you told me you love me, baby Oh Oh, no, you don't know yet finish it then I can't finish

I can't finish it. Yeah, um the carpenters. It's like she was a bad I can't tell people apart. I was watching hacks the other night. I'm like, damn. I'm happy for kim cattrell and my girl was What? You're not here. I thought it was Kim. Oh, wow. Oh my god, bro. I can't tell motherfuckers apart Yeah, when the white women get to a certain age, I can't tell them apart. Yeah. Yeah, yeah But um, so Karen carpenter was in a folk group called the Carpenters and she had you could see her. I mean, I was a kid But um, you can see her dwindling away on tv. She was a blemik right? Yeah, she had anorexia anorexia and anorexia and

And Toward the end it was like you'd watch her on tv and she was a drummer, right? The drumsticks were fucking thicker than her arms Oh, no, and it was like, oh, she's gonna die and she died Yeah, but yeah, she was I think she might have died while she was already recovering like her heart just couldn't Yeah, it was really when I see that it's so sad What are you doing? I'm showing you the oh, wow. Yeah, yeah 83 pounds the middle. Yeah, the middle is when she was like damn gray teeth though

Oh, you know what I mean? The teeth are wonderful pearls. Yeah. Wow. But all her songs were very like melancholic Yeah, like sad. Oh, so they wrote Probably 10 Amazing banger songs. Yeah, really? Carpenters? Yeah, I don't know what you're saying dude The Carpenters Yeah, yeah, let me ask you you don't know the let me I'm gonna raise your hand if you've heard of this band then I'm just gonna throw you some names because I wanted to see where you're at Yeah, please. I'm not shaming you. No, no, it's cool. I'm proud of my limited music taste

Or let's go, um, linda skinnered Simple man A simple man simple man. Yeah. Is there a song called simple man? I don't know It's simple kind of man. Oh that's okay. Very good. Simple man. All right. The almond brothers I heard of them. Okay, chicago Heard of them so hard to say. I'm sorry Exactly, so you're doing pretty good. That's after they teamed up with peter satara after the cool years. See, I don't know these guys Yeah, but you've heard of it. I know. I know chicago. I don't know peter satara the bethman brothers

No, what's that? I made it up. Okay. I was just throwing you over Hey, I'm honest. I'm honest. I didn't know the bethman brothers Voyagers don't know them. I made it up. Nice. So I'm just showing you your journey. Yes. Okay. See I know them number one filipino like karaoke group. Yeah. Yeah, two hearts I feel like two hearts is a song. Yeah, I know that's all good. You're he's getting all of it He does a lot. You know, you know a lot. It's enough. It's enough. Ask me some stuff now From hip-hop or something Two hearts that one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it is a song. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I said it

Who sings it heart? one heart How about our rmb bands for a hundred, you know the deal Is that a book? No, the art of the deal group the group never heard of the deal. That's where babyface started the deal I didn't know that. I've never heard a babyface. You've never heard a babyface. No. Oh my god Is he related to old manface? No, really is there an old manface they should have all the faces Well, he just discovered Alicia Keys three years ago. Yeah, I didn't know Alicia Keys until three years ago. I'm so sorry for you

And he used to I remember when he heard he was like who he's like babe One time he was like, babe, you got to listen to this artist. She's new. Her name is Mary J. Bleig. Oh Mary J. That's a good one. I like Mary J. Bleig to throw me some more. I've never heard of the deal. Go ahead Club nouveau Let's move on. Yeah That's an actual club. That's not a real thing. No, you got you know this group though They everybody sampled this group. They're amazing. We'll sing it. Yeah, you know I can't fucking sing it. Yeah, try try. No, it's fun. It's your fear. All right, you know what?

Get the lyrics. Let's bring it up. Let's bring it up. No, but you have to sing it. Bring the lyrics out No, come on. You need to instrumental with it. All right, but you'll you'll sing it with the instrumental Yeah, of course. That's the group. Of course. Oh, they're all black. That's great. Let me see Let me see. That's great. That's great. All right, Biden. All right. Yeah Okay Club nouveau rumors. All right. Yeah Your tone is just every note is with your voice one note, right? It's pretty much How would you sing it? I know those I've never heard that song before

What's the song called again? Yeah, yeah rumors. Okay So I like this where it starts with very hard to resist. Yeah, just start to pick up where he left. No, I gotta go from the beginning Okay, all right. We gotta listen to the intro right all you do. I got nervous. I got nervous I got nervous. I got nervous. I love it. We should karaoke sometimes. We should. Yeah. Yeah, I have a machine in my house That is we'll go to a place. Oh really? I don't want to go to your house. Why there's a great one in korea town called ferro It's like high and like they'll greet you at the door. It's super high and it's so great You have a beautiful wife. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Did I say that in a creepy way? It's an interesting way to die. I like it. I like it. I like it. That's why I don't want to come to my house

Oh, you know, I do do that, huh? Yeah, a little trumpish. Do you like your beautiful wife? No, it's cool Do you think that was trumpet? I think it's more autistic than trumpish. Yeah Oh, you think it was autistic. This is on the spectrum. We're all on the like everybody. Yeah, like yeah I just realized I just did that. I'm so sorry. Don't I'll tell you why I did it though. I don't like karaoke Oh, that was her way of kind of like yeah, it's like there's like three or four topics where I'm like, I can't I gotta go this way It's cool. That's like me with my dad. I'm like, yeah, I can't talk about my daddy anymore Right, you gotta talk about eddie's girl, right and then we went to the fucking that band. She's fire. It's cool. I love her Right, right. You know the best ever. How did you meet your group wife? I met her on a dating app

On raya. She curved me for two years This woman curved me for two years. What's curved mean? She just said next one You know, she matched me. I told a joke. She said ha ha. I said was What's really good? Let's hang out sometime curved. No response two years. They do that every raya No one responds to me curved. Yeah. Is that what it is? Oh, I've been curved Pella Then she came back but then she came back two years later and was like I'm what I'm gonna do is pretend like you know, I didn't just ignore this for two years And I was like, all right, cool. I'm gonna play hard to get so I waited three hours

Oh, what was it hard? It was the first hour was cool second hour got harder in the third hour. I was just jerking off to her instagram At this point you should respond. So when you took her out, were you nervous? Was I nervous? Yeah. No, because she curved me twice I set two dates and she didn't make either of them and had really really good excuses both times So the third time I was just like, listen, I'm gonna go boxing if you want to come and she was like Actually, I would love to do that. So then we went boxing and then I'm like boxing match like we went to the gym and boxed. It was cool. Oh, yeah, he boxes like you box box

Come on, man. Yeah, I'm trying. Don't play. Don't be foolish. Yeah. I'm trying to stop asian hate Oh, that's great. That's great. So she went to it. Do you see she put on gloves and you boxed each other? Yeah, well, we we trained but she does spar me like we do this thing where she gets to hit me and I just eat it It's about a relationship. Yeah Yeah, you're very funny. No, I'm not funny. Yeah, you're doing great. It's because your mic's taking out the note. So I'm not this funny without your mic Yeah, so that's how because let me ask. Why do you guys do that? Do what? Like if you like it's on raya. What happens is you'll you'll see a purple thing

I tell you at least for me. I like you right. So then I'll like them back, right? I go, hey, oh or whatever with exclamation exclamation exclamation, right? And nothing ever ever terrible thing I'm about to say but truly the only reason Um, the only purpose of raya for me is just an ego boost. Yeah, like there's no I have no interest in having a real conversation It's just I hate it. I'm just like, oh, oh my god. How fun and then next like I'm out But don't don't swipe then Don't say you like somebody I mean, I like their pictures. I like their pictures of them. Oh, that's a cute dog

But it's sometimes what that does the guys is like, oh Oh, Kalilah. Oh my god. I mean, I'm hoping you need action. Everybody needs a little action, you know, like What do you mean action? Just you know, you need somebody to be like matching you, you know, like matching right fly That's what tenders match them and leave them right there. I yeah, I just I I have no Desire to go on any raya dates, but I don't take it personally anymore I mean, I I just know that that's the game Do you do any online like I mean, is it just raya or like all online dating is like, I mean

I was banned from two of them. But yeah, I'm on tinder and raya. Yeah, but you know what? I'm not even hanging out with people on those anymore On tinder on any of them. Oh because you got banned. No, I know on the hinge and bumble. I got what's bad Oh, you got banned. I got banned from hinge and bumble. But um, the last couple of dates are people that I've just met on the street Homeless you all have so much self-control to do this. I could not do this with an X is the X is and then talking about your dating To each other. That's I don't know if I could do that. What do you mean? Why can't you like if it ever knock on wood if ever happen? It would not happen with me and my girl because forever, you know, but like

Yeah, I mean go ahead. I have something to say but go ahead I think the reason it's a little easier for us because it's like we let the record play to the very end Like there is a feeling of closure and completion I think it would have been hard if there were still if it was not like a mutual Like we knew was over like we we're in therapy for two years And that our I guess in a sense our therapist was just kind of preparing us for the end. Wow Yeah Wow

Also, that is true though couples therapy is either they fix your relationship or you're paying them to get you out of it civilly I also got in a fight with fihi manwar. I'm gonna say their names. I don't care Fee manwar And fucking harlan williams. Are they the comedians that tried to pull up on her? No, I remember that from episode Podcast has gotten better though in a way because it's like every couple episodes or something You guys get to like how you guys are doing and that's like the show now

I just have to tell you right better like you guys did so I got in a fight with harlan williams fihi manwar And they were like because I was telling them that khalilas still lives there for a while Yeah, right and I go yeah, what's the big deal and they're like oh if that was me I would never talk to her again. I'll cut ties and this and I go yep That's how you do relationships. Yeah, they've also never been in a decade long relationship Or like started a business together with somebody It doesn't matter because look at me and sarah. I'm highland, right? You guys he's your friends. I have very good friends with the other Actually, it's like I oh, and bobby got a pattern

Oh, you're sort of a bitch. I'm kidding. How long were you with the other girl couple years? My point is this though. Let me finish my fucking point Yeah, my point my point is is that you know, it's My relationship is a friendship as well You get to know somebody's life and their family and their soul and things Right and you fall in love with not just the sexuality right with all of it. Did you want to have kids and stuff? You want to have kids? Yeah, I did I don't know then somewhere Somewhere the story got twisted and it's like I'm the one who didn't want kids, but I'm on kids

I'm don't twist. I'm not gonna don't twist and shout. No, but I want at the end of our relationship I'm the one who wanted it. I believe I believe her. I believe her, but I don't as well She wanted kids. You didn't want kids. We it was a tit for tat Yeah, let's just say honestly. I feel like 10 years that you're right You're the biggest head of chinese person I've ever seen Like I've never seen that was another your wife is hot Yeah, I know I have to say it. I have I've been holding that hint dude No, you just have a very big head metaphorically or like actually physically literally literally a big head

Yeah, it's a seven and five ace. Yo, you know Yeah, seven and five eight. That's big big There's bigger. No for chinese. I think for chinese. I think it's pretty big because koreans usually have we have the big heads is what I'm saying My bad. It was a compliment. My bad. I like 23 and me said I got like some blood from northern china korea My mom's from their family. There we go. Dude. What's up, dude? Yeah, so right straight up that like big bodega head Yeah, what about my head? My head just says discount liquor I think right now this guy has you. Oh, wow. This guy for wow. Wow. Wow. He's china

This guy's a chinese villager with you. Yeah, but how much of his neck are you counting? Yeah? Yeah, but that's also a He has a tumor, right? Like it's some type of like lymph issues. Yeah, there's like lymphedema but on his neck I can't even laugh. Oh my god. It's a pretty great body though For everybody just stop working out the neck I think that's the problem. You know what I mean? Yeah, we just put a waist trainer on his neck. Maybe there's a there's a neck fucking You're really doing back to what you were saying. I think what I It would be really really hard if there was a lot of romantic feelings still there. Yeah Hell yeah, but I it's not it's still not easy, but I don't know like I think I look good at it

Yeah, I'd be listening just to be like damn. They're doing breakups so well Yeah, yeah, man. We are I also um We also have tiger bell. We got to do It's our it's our family about your money. I'd be just about money. No. No. Oh, you got it wrong pal Really? Yeah, chicho. Oh, chicho. All right. Listen to me. Amigo. All right. You're not about your money Some parts of me are I feel like it would be insulting of somebody was like eddie not about his paper Hey, I'm about my paper big chong. Yeah, listen to me Oh

Listen to me, man. Okay Tiger belly is our baby. Yeah So we did have kids. Oh, wow, and we're taking care of this baby. Did you see the face you just made? I bite my lip I wanted a real baby exit my vagina a fucking podcast Yeah, I think this is our thing we created Right and it's grown to this if we when we do a live show people come out

I feel like our children come out Right, and it's a gigantic extended family and this feels like a baby to me It is cute Like I I'm gonna do a podcast with my girl because I like I like this. Yeah, it's cool. All right You guys are like the better-looking version of tiger belly. No. Yeah. Oh my god. They're the hot us No, we're not. We're just the together you know, they Yeah, they also by visually they look similar to us. I think I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Is she taller than you too? Yeah, look at her. She's taller right taller. Look at how beautiful she is. She's cool

And he there's something that doesn't seem right, but it is right Right. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't seem but it seems like her man should be a foot taller She's giving my man should be a foot taller But can I just say though This photo is it this I love this photo. Yeah, this is you know what this is call my this is called fucking winning You're winning dude. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, of course. She's going out with you. You're dynamic special. You're creative You're meant you're fucking not lazy. You got a big head Etc. Etc. Dude, but you got everything dude. Yeah, you're stylistic. Thank you. Right. Thank you. You can cook

Right, you got it all dude Congratulations, brother. I also just showed up on the first date and was like look if this works out no prenup No Well, you really aren't by your bag then No, I didn't ask everyone in the room when you go on a date with somebody. Do you know if your friend's owned right away? Yeah How what are the you can get out of that though? What is the tall tail signals? Uh a friend zone. Are you also being advancing with like trying to touch her hand or anything or no?

I'm doing stuff like this is one girl where I'm scoring and I laugh and I grab her arm What do you do? You're friend zoning yourself. Oh, is that it? Just going Friend zoning myself I say something. This is what I'm doing. There can be anything we're on a date. Just say comment Yeah, just say yeah, and the dwarf the dwarf fell in the well and oh my god the dwarf fell in the well Yeah, dude friend zone

You right that reaction. Yeah friend zone or this if she does this touch me. Yeah That I could read That I could read that's good. I'm leaving the fucking restaurant at that Okay, Eddie. Do you got signs in the past? Have you seen when you're being friend zone? Oh, he's never been friend zone. I'm gonna plead the fifth. I have to plead the fifth Why because I can't give an honest answer. So you plead the fifth. Oh, so you happen. No God, you've been friend zone. I just plead the fifth What I plead but no friend zone thing. I will say this is like I met her

And she did a very interesting thing that is like friend zone adjacent conversation. Which is what she was like Yeah, I took her to a zanku chicken on her first date. Nice man. We walked out She's she was like before we got to the car She probably felt like I was gonna make a move or something She goes I would like to delay pleasure and I was like I would like to get home and watch dipset versus at seven It's so cool. Wow Okay, okay, and then it just that kicked off our relationship because it was just so tit for tat We're both so petty. It's so honest. It's funny. It's honest. Yeah, I like that. It's honest, but petty

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like I was taking you home anyway. Oh, I gotta watch cam versus jada kiss So you guys probably like a great relate a talk who talks in bed going to bed and you guys probably get along a lot Yeah, it's great. It's great. Currently we sleep in separate bedrooms, but it's only because I fort Huh Italian style. Yeah, but it's like I took a fence to it at first, but now it's kind of cool. Like she brought it up No, she just slept in the other bedroom a couple nights when we had fights And then we were both over time like oh this it's kind of cool I'm it's kind of cool like twice a week. I'm a proponent of separate, but twice twice a week You know only twice a week. Yeah, because then you get hornier the other five days. You're like, right, you know

Because I think it's so easy to get desensitized to each other's touch. Yeah, there's company That like it's not You're not spending time together actively. You're just in each other's space And um, it can be really overwhelming. You take it for granted too. Yeah, like on the day she's gone. I'm like, oh Hope she comes back today So she comes back. Hey you back. You do miss the one she leaves. Yeah, but then I'm even crazy if I get mad I go to my house in oc I'm an oc. I'm too proud to even go to the other bedroom. I'm gonna go to another house

And I'm a gamble all our money on fucking the nicks tonight. Yeah, that's my way of coping To gamble our money in another house Is your is your family still with us? Is that good? Is that good? It's unhealthy. It's good. It's good I feel like it's a good coping mechanism Thank you, kid Yeah, wait, so you guys are starting a podcast We are we're doing it. We don't know yet Probably the Eddie Wong show with his girl

It doesn't pass the two bedroom two bedroom separate bedrooms Separate bedrooms is a good name. I like that. Yeah, we're gonna have guests We want guests you guys should come on, you know, we'd love to great. Are we recording from separate? You do couples and they you have two different beds and you guys have mics and set up. That's a cool fucking idea Yeah, that's dope. I like this. And what do you talk about relationships? Anything anything anything, you know, like we we don't really have too much of form because we went out with this show And then a lot of people wanted to format it and we were more just like we kind of just want to kick it Like like we like yours. We like Tim Dillon. We like, you know, Joe roll. We like, you know, it's the same come town

I like come town. Come town's great. Come town's the best I think it also just makes it for like more longevity Yeah, especially if both of you are just comfortable and enjoy doing it then because sometimes when it's guest driven Yeah, a little bit. It's like, okay. What happens when you don't get a guest or topic like specific Because we can't fake being interested. We're both like dude on the same way Yeah, like when I do cigaros, they do like the random news things going on. I don't do those anymore What let's talk about this accident that I like I don't like that. No, like if there is one that's interesting I will talk about it. But like I'm not I can't be like, yo news every time

Right, right. I mean, I don't even care But watch someone may offer me a lot of money to do some shit like that and I'll just put my brain on autopilot Do it because I'm at that age where I'm like I'm trying to have a family and I need to save money because I spent all my money on like unnecessary clothing Yeah, shoes I have like purple trench coats. I'm like, dude, I have a storage. I have a storage of toys Yeah, I believe it. You have a room of toys too. I know but this is Don't make fun of me dude. No, no, I'm not. Don't shame me right now, man

German, but like I've spent so many so much dumb shit about so many dumb shit So have I yeah when I first met him, um, it wasn't an apartment. It was just a shoe storage like a just mound of shoes in his living room And um, a bedroom I could kind of see to the right of it, but those ones he's wearing Please Eddie Eddie. No, I'm being real Those are my life shoes. I like the way that are those laces No, they're like they're like bands. So you don't have to tie your shoes. So dope, dude, you know, can you tell me how to get those? Yeah, I will I Philip Lim sent them to me, but I'm gonna ask them. I'm sure he got a few. These are like

They're great. They're like Kim Jong-un platform. Yeah, I love yeah, but then you look like a Filipino nurse also Those are so dope. Yeah, but Philip Lim is part of like the slasians like oh Oh slasians. Oh, oh, I thought what's a slasian? I thought, you know, like oh, yeah Important like Asians a fancy Asian. Oh sleigh though. They just call it. Oh, they do slasians. Yeah. I know the slasian I thought I I heard it a different way like that it was The guy that from Monterey Park was a slasian Was he not a slasian? Yeah Let me ask you. Let me ask you about that. Let me ask you about

What? Why are you asking me? I don't know buddy. You don't know the guy? I get it because we're still celebrating and I and I and let me see something. I get what Bobby's joking about I'm not talking about it. I'm not talking about it. Between a tech shooter I remember everyone being like, what do you think and I was like, what do you mean what I think he like? You know, like he's a shooter dog. Like it has nothing to do with his race. He's a shooter Yeah, we all have them. Yeah, everybody. Every race has one. There's one It used to be like people be like, it's a crazy white guy. I would be the one but it's a crazy white kid You know, I mean probably got a black trench coat and now it's like no, bro

Everybody's mad in this country. Everybody's big fucking mad and it's too easy to shoot people It's I don't want to I don't want to get into like laws and what we should do as a society What I want to talk to you about is why a 72 year old man You know, what why is it laughing that he would have this an asian because both guys there are two asian guys, right? One of them died the other one they arrested, right? They seem like people I know I grew up with Right, and it's like what drives somebody at that age to do that And also killing other asians. There's a lot to it. Okay, raise your hand. Go ahead. Well, there's a lot Will you raise your hand like you know the answers very complex because this man is was in was in his 70s

He came here from vietnam, you know, when you're when you're We're lucky where we came I'm a 1.5. You were born and raised here. There is an assimilation That man came into this country under very dire circumstances And that in itself is probably like a trauma that stayed locked in his body and for whatever reason manifested into 72 year old You know Angry him for there's a lot of things. It's so complex I honestly feel like it's not that hard for people to get that mad like there's a lot to be mad about like There's a lot of people when we get outside of our like new yorker la bubble life fucking sucks

Life is hard and the issue to me is really is this is not me being it is political But it's not it's not because I subscribe to a party which I don't it's just like I do think that it's too easy to get guns And I think that it happens here simply because of that. I think if guns were this available and this cheap In comparison to your like median income in your country This would be happening in every country. Yeah, like bro You know how many people I knew when I was in Taiwan for a year that were just like I'm gonna run up on him and crack his head with this beer bottle

I'm like if you had $10 for an ar-15 you would have shot him Yeah, and I'm not trying to throw my our country under the bus Any country I've been to and I've been in a lot of countries like these these dudes in Sicily Tried to fucking body us on a shoot on Wong's world. They would have shot us You know like if if guns are more available It's the availability of guns like no one's gonna convince me different that makes it so prevalent here It's 100 the truth. I get that. Yeah. Yeah, and not only specifically assault rifles. Yeah, but I'll tell you funny This is this I thought was funny and this is

Let's try to get to comedy now. Yeah, let's try our best Let's get back to coffee. Feel what we're feeling now, right? Yeah, but check this out. Go ahead Eddie No, but what I was Is that like uh You know as soon as it happened and people were like it's racial. It's racial I had a bunch of friends that really are great people and met. Well, like I'm so sorry What's happening in community? This is fucked up that they did this to you guys and I was like I didn't have the heart to say it because there wasn't enough evidence yet

But just off the location. I was like, this is the Asian dude. Yeah, it's another Asian dude Did this like it said a ballroom dance class. That's where our parents and grandparents go like a mad white dude doesn't know We there. Yeah, nobody else knows we're there besides our parents. I was got the comedy out of the way. That's great Yeah, it's like it's in the family. It's like it might be my cousin. Yeah, you know Like, yeah, you know You're right. How's once I heard Monterey park. I go. Yeah, there's yeah, everybody call and make sure your cousins are home You know, I mean great restaurant. So great restaurant. Yeah, great restaurants. I play basketball out there. It's sad Yeah, it's so sad. Honestly, it's the availability of guns, man

Yeah, and also there's a lot of but also mental health and there's a lot of people in our country They're disenfranchised, right and there's no way out. Yeah, right Um, I think it's good for people with money in this country But people that are poor just look at look at LA. I look at the homeless problem. Yeah, well, I'll say too I I don't have a like my thing is I I'll go to the gun range and I'll shoot guns Because I'm one of those people where it's like if they're gonna be here. I'm gonna know how to use this thing You know, ah, right, right like it's like It's like learn from a squirt gun though. Did I learn from a squirt? No, but can't you learn?

Why do you have to go to a gun range? I know how it works. No, it's a little yeah The safety. Have you ever shot a gun? Listen to me guys. If you haven't shot a gun, it's pretty different. Our next vlog You about to put one in the ceiling like that shit kicks. I understand. I see the movies. Yeah, right? I see the way come in. You see an alex bouldwin No, yeah. Oh, that's right. But that's not his fault. Damn. Did I go too far? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, that was yeah dark

You need a dark twist Involuntary, let's talk about buca de pepo now. You I love buca de pepo. They do such great certain family serving sizes. I love it. But Yeah, damn. No, no, but so you're right. Okay. It is the guns, right? But that's such a hot topic and we're never gonna we're never gonna change the minds of half this country Yeah, and I'm like, how are you gonna have music videos without guns? So it's like A conundrum, I understand. Yeah, exactly. People are dying, but then also like we need these music videos. Yeah, we do need them Yeah, bro. How you gonna make chief chief sosa without, you know, I mean we got into this with slasians. Let's go back to slasian. Yeah

I ever heard those he called home me a slasian. Well, who are the slasians now? They're just you got the virginia tech shooter Yeah, he got the bing of the shooter. Yeah, he's old school. Yeah, old pa, who else? Mao's a slasian. Mao's a slasian. Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un. Yo, the great Genghis Khan, the greatest slasian of all time. Dude, he was a slayer, dude. Yo, I just realized you kind of look like Simu Lu in this painting. I would laugh if I knew who Simu Lu was. I met him at my Thanksgiving. Oh, I love him. He's great. Dude, he's only like the biggest. I love him. I love him. I love him. Mr. Asia. So how do I know him? You're lying right now. You don't know who the fuck he is. What's he on? What's he on? Name one movie?

He has a really good commercial with Yanis. He got that commercial with Yanis. Yanis, who's Yanis? I think he got a T-Mobile commercial with Yanis. And the car with Yanis, right? Something like that. Listen, how do I get into slasians? You got to show, clip up. Oh, that's the gun shooting range. There's two ways you can be a slasian. No, I want to create my own Asian, you know, show business mafia. Oh, oh. You want Goldhouse? Let's do Opium Den. No, but you know how back in the day, I used to go to the IOP in West Hollywood. This is 20 years ago. And I used to see Brian Singer and Kevin Spacey, all the, you know, the gay mafia. They would go to the clubs and stuff.

And they would go to IHOP. I used to see them all the time. And there'd be a table of 30 of them. And you could tell that. We would always whisper, don't fuck with them. You know what I mean? That's the gay mafia. I want a Korean mafia in show business. Just Korean? No, Asians. I think when we rolled up, they go, oh, shit, that's the group. Are Filipinos invited? I don't feel like they would invite us. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I don't call them Filipinos. I call them Lice people. Oh, sorry.

Are the Lice people invited? The Lice people are invited. Thank you so much. Gilbert N. Different table, though, at the fucking thing. Because we don't want scratchy heads. But my point is itchy heads. Yo, we have no dance crew without Filipinos. You know, we're there. How are we going to do musicals without them? Our Linwell Miranda is definitely coming from Filipinos. But how do we create a mafia is what I'm asking.

Do we just hang out with each other and then people just know or what? I feel like Asians try to do that. But out of us, to be honest, the only ones I feel are going to hang out. I was like, me, you, Cho, and Chang. David Chang. He's pretty fucked up, too. He masks it with... Awkwafina could be there. Nora's fucked up.

I saw Ronnie Chang five days ago. Ronnie Chang is cool. He's in town. We got to get him on the spot. He's in town for six weeks. But I hung out with Ronnie and Ronnie was going on an LA rant. But honestly, I can't do like race specific hangs. If there's a group of five and there's more than two Asians, I'm like, this is too much, man.

I need to mix it up. You got it all wrong. Lean up. Stand up, man. That's fine. Stay there, then. You fucking... You know on Joe Rogan's show, he gives them weed and whiskey? I mean, hey, I can't do that. Oh, my bad. I'm so sorry.

Oh, you want me to relapse? I got a year last week. I'll relapse with you, though, Eddie. Yo, I will send you an evite, though, because when I'm 60, you are going to be 70. And I'm throwing a party with my best friends and we're all going to smoke crack. Because I feel like at that point I can... Because I've never met anyone that was like, crack sucked. They were like, that shit was fire. That's true.

Never anybody like my friends that... No, that's why I never, because I knew it was going to be the thing. So it's not whack? I heard it was so good. My dad told me, he's like, don't do coke. You're going to like that shit too much. Yeah. And I was like, all right, cool. I heard it's so good that if I try it, I know I'm fucked.

Yeah, yeah. So I got onto it. I got a party to do coke. And the first time I do it, I'm with my homie babysitting his kids. Just like, yacked out of my face. And I'm like, this is the greatest thing ever. I can't wait to have kids. That's why I proposed to my girl. I'm like, I'm ready to be a dad.

I just, I got a glimpse of bad shit. I'm fucking about this, bro. This is better than being in the club. Like watching kids tear up a pool area. All fucked up. I'm like, this is amazing. Can I ask you a question? How old is babyface a baby? Babyface? No. He's like, he's like, he's like you.

Probably in his 50s. Oh, he's a, oh, that's his, oh, that's his, he's an actual adult. That's his nickname. Yeah. Well, when he came out, he's babyfaced. You know, very smooth skin, you know, let me see his face. This was him like, I've never seen a baby with that face. There's no way. There's one right there.

He doesn't look like a baby at all. He does. You look like baby. I look like a baby then. Why can't I look like a baby? Can I be a babyface? You look like a simulu baby. You got a simu face. I'll be simu face. I love that you went to your

artist and was like, can you make me look like a baby simulu man? No, that was, you know, fuck you, man. That was a sketch on mad TV. We did a sketch where they're like, we want to do a sketch where we're in Bobby's house and he has paintings of him naked or all around the house.

And that's what the sketch, I didn't do that. I like it. I like it. It's like a simulu before simulu is conceived. That's crazy. That's crazy. Do you want to promote anything? Oh, can I give them my JPMorgan

account number and people who start sending money? That's what I like to promote. Is your podcast definitely coming out with your wife? Yeah, it's definitely happening. I just don't know where yet because the shitty place I sign with is getting a new sales team and they're all

like fucked up. So I'm doing it now. Let's plug it now. We're going to have a podcast. We don't know the title yet, but tentatively separate bedrooms. When Eddie is fucking, you heard him here, man. He's so funny. Great guy. We're friends now.

So check it out. Please check it out. You followed me an hour ago. We're like such good friends. No, thank you. Plug this show that is going to exist. Why? Because I couldn't get an audition for Fresh Out the Bow.

There it is. That's why we're here. You would have been great as my dad. I know you had no power on it, but I always feel like you're a social... They sued me the day before shooting started. I wouldn't sign my paperwork. So I was like, I don't think that guy likes me. I couldn't even get an audition.

Bro, I had no control. I know, that's right. But that's why now I'm following you. Look up the producers. That's who doesn't like you. I'll get them. Get them. I love revenge. Revenge is the best, man. If we don't do anything, we're out of success.

Being successful, we get our revenge. I don't actually do anything. Do you ever get revenge and do something? I don't do anything. I think... Technically, I did. I told you, I hit that dude with my car. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you really did revenge. I was like, wait, can I lie? I've already told them I did this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's wrong with your back? L4, L5, herniated disc. Is it bulging? You don't look good.

No, I'm good. I don't like to sit straight for too long. I try to move. When you have a herniated disc, do you start to feel it down your leg? You regret making fun of me in the beginning? No. I said you look like Santa's helper.

Yeah. But it's cool. Yeah, I think it's good. I want to see your Raya profile. Can you put it up? I did change it a little bit. I'll show you. I'll show it to you.

Raya. I told you to change your main picture. He was putting pictures of pictures of him next to other celebrities. And I was like, oh, no, no. So this? Cute, right?

Super cute. Oh, I like this. You're like I'm serving the beef. They beat, right? Me and with black people. You're the best. You helped set this up. That's such a good trap with the chef, right?

Yeah, he got an accent. Let's pay for him. That looks like you. I don't know. Me with Sarah Jessica Parker. I had to keep that one. That's dude. What Asian guy is going to walk down the street

with Sarah Jessica Parker? Only me. But I agree, you're going to get whack chicks. You're going to get whack girls. You have to think about what kind of fish you're catching. Logan Paul? Anyone that would sweat you

with Sarah Jessica Parker You should just leave that photo. That's the one. I take off the Logan Paul. That's good, bro. She set you up for success. Thank you, Eddie. You're going to trap a hoe.

I don't need no. Any questions for her? I will. Oh, wow. You kind of already answered this, but is there a real project Bobby and Eddie would do? Whether it's a restaurant or a clothing project or clothing line.

I really think we should do a buddy cop film together. I do too. I also think that you don't know about people until you meet them. Him and I have exchanged in a non-gay way sexual juices.

How do you do that non-sexually? Mind sex. And there's always like as soon as I saw I'm like, yeah, okay. I understand. But I'm attracted to the male mind. Dude, meet you, dude. That sounds gay.

That's so gay. Dr. Drew on our show last week, he was like, isn't it funny that our genitalia dictates sexual orientation? Like, depending on whether or not you like pussy or dick is supposed to be like, oh, you're gay or you aren't gay.

And because he was telling me like I might be gay. And I was like, no, I can't eat pussy. He was like, so? He was like, it's a weird thing to like to kind of make the genitalia the only thing that dictates orientation.

Because it's like, oh, I would make out with a girl. I would. I do enjoy the company of a girl. I'm just maybe not into eating pussy. But he's like, I don't know, he made a really good point for it. That makes no sense what he just said. If there's a beautiful dick

and a beautiful pussy in front of you, which one are you drawn to? Think about the most perfect dick. What do I have to do to either? It's about like, what do your eyes lean? It's not a museum, lady. Because when I watch porn, I go for like lesbian porn.

How about you, Eddie? If you saw a beautiful penis in a beautiful vagina, what would you lean? I would run away from the dick and just dive in. Exactly. You know, to each girl, right? I don't care.

I don't care. I've sucked it. Putting the male mind is just so fucking hot. Everyone told a joke so good. I want to suck your mind so bad, dude. I want to suck. I want your mind to come in my mouth. So that's what I'm saying.

That's not gay, dude. It's not gay. It's not gay at all. It's the most gay. Raw dog your brain, bro. It's open. It's like emotionally and psychologically gay, but not physically gay.

Right. We're psychologically gay, me and Eddie. Yeah, definitely psych gay. Yeah, we're psych gay. I'm psych gay, dude, for sure. I'm about to change my pronouns after this. He, him, psych gay. I thought you were real gay when I first met you.

It was my psych gay giving off. It was such a big psych game. Psych gay? The game was so big that I thought it was you. Yeah, I tricked you. How about you, man? Okay, I can't even. Anyway.

I prefer the company of men. Fuck, bro. I don't know why that. Yeah, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's the gay. I prefer the company of men. That's like...

I prefer the company of women, but, you know, mind sex dudes, body sex women. I think that would be my... You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, if I'm like gambling with the homie betting on sports, I'm like, this is intimacy.

Let's go fucking bangles, you know, and they fucked us yesterday. But like, that's like intimacy, like gambling with the homie. Like, that's fucking fire. We're doing things together. You think you and I would spot out? Yeah, I love this spot. Would you go to We Spa with me?

Yeah, I'll be real. I like City Spa. I've never been to City Spa. You know where I go to is Hyundai Health Center. You ever go there on 6th Street? No. I'm down. I'll follow you there. Let's go there. I've never been.

Not today. No, I was ready. I don't like your energy right now. I'll sit up. No, no, no, please, please, please. No, I don't want that. You're a bit too eager about the fucking thing. So here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to grab your number after this fucking podcast. I was like really worried. I'm going to grab your nuts after this podcast. Give Eddie a round of applause, everybody. Let's look up for his podcast. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Tiger Barely Ad Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.

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