TigerBelly - Ep 214: The Third Sack

Episode Date: October 2, 2019

Bobo just leaves. Koloko loves Rover Dangerfield. We talk victory arms, Jon Na 300, notes for God, and gay vampires. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today 5-4 I Drinking beer Having fun No Responsibility That's the kind of shit you've been listening to the as of late George you white guy I love white people though because I just was in Portland one more time for

Portland the king of it Poor John would give him a round of applause. I love this little squinty eyes John. I got him. So that my mom fucking would suck your dick right now, dude I was intense You could feel the sexual feel the sexual energy. Oh, yeah, I felt it Bro, I never seen that before I feel good the way your mom would look at me and smile It actually did remind me of my grandma. Yeah, I got little I feel like that's such a victory for Filipinos that a Korean actually shows a Philippine like Gives it up. What typically happens in the Philippines. What are you talking about? Look at this Korean and look at this Filipino

They don't show me they don't respect. What is that fucking supposed to mean? You guys don't respect Filipino. I do my people don't But your mom respects my mom. Okay, my mom respects Gilbert. So we're moving in the right direction is all I'm that's what I'm saying Having fun Look at the skirts We what look at the skirts better than up the skirt. Yeah, look at the skirt. Yeah, because they're fashion designers Thank you. Welcome to another You know, I was in Portland and I really really this this is the first time I ever felt this is

I could live there You say that all the time about where has five years about where? Portland Portland and Hawaii and Hawaii, right? Why can I express myself several times? No, because you just said this is the first time. Oh, I did that. I also lie a lot, you know, I mean Oh, can I tell you something this has happened today? I never I didn't tell anybody of this. Oh So I tried something today and it probably didn't work So I get a call

Keegan keys Has a new show. Mm-hmm. I go who? And they go keys. I go, yeah, I love him. I got cocky. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love him, right? huge key and peel fan So I go and the what is it? So it's basically a it's like an amazing race kind of a show Mm-hmm. And you know, it's it's Serena Williams or a celebrity with a comedian and they go out and they do physical challenges Mm-hmm and cause I solve pro puzzles and whatnot. Yeah, so I was in there. I think I had them on my side So I go, you know what? I'm gonna do something that you guys never seen before and there's like three executives in a room

Is this just a general meeting? No, they want they want to see if I'm they want me if you're the guy if I'm one of the guys Okay, so I stood up. They go, what are you standing? I got a monologue. I just I'm improvising And they go, but please sit down. I go. I'm standing please sit and I'm gonna tell you something right now, too After I'm done with my monologue and this has never happened before. I'm just gonna leave the room without saying goodbye I Think oh what I Got yeah, I have a monologue I improvised listen Please let me commit to this because now if I don't do it. It's gonna be even weirder. You're gonna look weak

Oh, I'm gonna look weird weak So I stood up and you can tell that they're like, you know how they adjust they don't know what they think I might shoot up the place. Yeah, I'm not gonna too because I'm I had to go through the gates and I have the proper ID And I'm you know, I've never done anything like that. But um, yeah before you know that everyone in this room I can confirm that I'm a Christian. I don't believe in those kind of thing from that. So um, so I do this monologue I go, I know I'm perfect for this show. I have old history with and then I go James Corden Because I go the only problem is I said the only problem is is that I have a friend who's Irish his name is Mark

I actually said this in the room. Uh-huh. They go what I go. Yeah, my friend Mark Invited me to two FIFA tournaments with James Corden They go, yeah, and I go, yeah, I go the first time I said that would show up I never showed up and apparently it fucked the tournament up in the second time They hesitantly asked and I said no, they really needed me So I think James Corden is mad at me because I didn't show up to two FIFA tournaments But if he's okay with it and Keegan still wants me and you guys like me, I'd love to be involved and I just left What if they would have offered you something I just left I know I just left and I'm giggling to myself in the hallway and

Then a couple hours later Um, my agent called me and he goes, why'd you do that? Your response I go, what I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about You just left. Okay. Yeah He goes, all right Like what did they say they go nothing they just say you left So what maybe I got it Do you think I got it or not? I feel like it was a power movie, but how funny you could that been did you hear them laugh a little bit?

You're good. You got that's a thing you got when I said goodbye and I closed the door Of course, it'll listen. It got a big laugh. Yeah, and then one said so one person said to the other You and the guy the guy was like Like that was exciting for the yeah, and I just left so maybe right Thanks, John, I didn't get it. I don't think that's a great story I don't think you got it, babe. Well, no, John. Are you being um? No, that's that's no, that's like one of those things that you moved up to LA to like, you know be a part of something like that Or here's goddamn. I sort of fuck it on if I had the money and the means

You would I would hire you just to be around I think he's actually he's serious John because he says there's something about you that makes him happy Oh, it's not even just you you don't I don't respect you and you know what? I don't respect you that I think I that because if you want to think that I respect you and I don't want to be on I respect you enough to be honest. You want insider info? Yeah, that's why I know he respects you He said the other time when the last podcast set where you were here He was like, I think I have a problem because when I'm speaking I only play I don't play to the whole room I'm only playing to John. No, yeah

I said, I I only care about his opinion. Yeah, I only care about your opinion I believe that when you're you're you're a little Because you have Koreans and Filipinos. They don't respect that. No, they have a gook twinkle. I think you have Shout out to John. You know that twinkle guy goop thing that you do, right? Yeah, you know, you're like, you know, right direction, right? I Love it and encourages me and I love this guy I love everything about him and if I had enough money and I was if I was Joe Rogan. I was cooler Yeah, I would give you the world

Well, but I can't give you shit Those words are enough. It's enough. Yeah It's enough out of you All right, if you know what I regret even saying that fucking bullshit because you go now dude right now I fed that little tiny monster inside your heart All right, don't don't get carried away. I love you Now we know what I'm doing right now. Yeah, what people are saying on the internet that I I I'm a fake Alpha male

What is that even where people saying this on the internet? I know the internet but like directly to you thing is a fake alpha Yes, they go it's some guy a couple of times not just one guy a couple guys have said Yeah, we don't like the way he mock alpha males the room when he's really just a follower He tries to be an alpha male And it's like bitch. This is my clan Man, this is my tribe or right lead wolf. Absolutely. This is yeah, we might not have a good pack There's just saying though that the loudest person in the room usually has the least to say That's

Wait, I did a victory thing like this But when I did this I go didn't feel right. She tricked you. So she did you trick me or I think it's a good thing The way she said it the way you said it was bad. I don't like the way you said it say it again Do over type cloud. Let's rewind rewind rewind it The loudest person in the room has the least to say. Yeah. Okay. That's not good It didn't feel good. It was against me. Fuck you, babe All right, you're right. I have nothing to say Yeah, I'm a fakey

Hey, you know how you've always been against adoption. Yeah, and I've always been pro adoption. Yeah, this one story Might bring me over to your side and be against it now. Which one is it? So there's this couple in michigan I don't know if you guys heard this But they recently got arrested and charged for child abandonment because they left their 10 year old 10 year old kid in like michigan somewhere And I had to forget what state and they moved to canada with their own biological kid Right. And so they got charged but then Things are coming out and now they're saying that the kid from ukraine was faking her age

And she has this form of dwarfism and she's actually 22 and that they've been she's been trying to kill the parents By bleaching their coffee and trying to drag the mom into an electrical fence Yeah, that's what I'm saying and so they were so afraid so they just put her in an apartment alone Gave her the money to live alone and then move to canada. This is real. Yeah Yeah, a plot to a film. It's like the or what is that movie where this is a real it's it's there's a movie based on this East east asians are okay Right in a spa. Yeah Can you just hear my logic out

I'm ready for you know being my pack. Yes, sir. And I'm the leader of this shitty pack We'll be we'll get destroyed right, but may I I share some of my insights Right You look so scared now Why are you so scared? I'm not scared. I'm here. I'm ready to listen. All right. I'm ready to listen You know, it's so funny. I just lost my point I don't know. You just don't know. I had a point

Why because I said ukraine that's okay. We got east asian. I got back to the point, but ukraine is not east asia That's eastern europe. That's what I'm saying. So eastern asians. I can trust Okay, eastern whites. I cannot got you. That's what I'm saying. I got it. All right. So when you adopt from an eastern asian Right, they go. Oh my kid turned into he was the engineer for Boeing, you know Pretty good kid went to church, you know made another adopted vietnamese girl They had a bunch of linglings and whatever right right when you adopt an eastern white Yeah He likes knives

You mean your four-year-old. Yeah, he likes not four Yeah, I like knives at four Stabbing people. You know, right? Oh speaking of stabbing. So I was chatting. Let's not finish. No, let's not Let's let's let's finish this topic out. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. Sorry. See no one. Let's see this topic. Let the record play Yeah, so what you're saying is you disagree with me I don't disagree with you. This is the first time where I was like, whoa You really have to be careful because documentation or doctors had You know checked her bone density and said, yeah, this is an eight-year-old girl

So if someone can fucking con you even con the doctors in the medical world, wait You know, she she's so good She fucked with her own bone density. No. No. No. She has a form of like dwarfism that makes her look a lot younger than Oh, I thought it was like she did it with her mind. She was like, yeah, right like just you know, I mean No, no bones, right But you mean deplete. I don't how do you how do you even do it? You know what I mean? Yeah, probably do one of these. Yeah, you have to put your finger to your head. I do a bone Bones

It doesn't work that way. I'm pretty sure bounds. It doesn't work. Wow. She's that good, huh? Oh my gosh Wow, but you tried to drag the mom through an electrical fence. I love it Yeah, but you know what it's like, you know What that's what you what would we do? If that we were in the situation, I honestly and I maybe I'm gonna get in trouble with russians And I know that russians really like listening to our podcast. They do I think it might be number one If I've ever interviewed podcast in russia, check that George, right?

And I love you guys. You guys are really good at soccer. It's ukraine, babe. Oh ukraine They're good at soccer. Yeah, you guys are good at um gymnastics mining Sure, you it would seem as they would it would seem it would seem that they would be right And you guys manufacture, you know implements implements Probably eating implements I don't know much about what they export here. Well, yeah, tell me what the ukraine's good at Sunflower and wheat production that I was gonna say that was an excellent thing. That was my eighth thing sunflower and wheat

Sunflower Yeah, and wheat production and sunflower. They're really known for you would think that, you know, you Sunflower would not be a thing that in my head that I would think when I think of ukraine. Yeah, where's Chernobyl at? Russia, but is it near ukraine? I'm pretty sure it is They're all not that far from each other, but it's a very big landmass. So it I'm pretty sure that is too You're right because you know everything, babe. No, they're neighboring, but russia's a massive country about everything. Okay Okay, I just gotta strike you No, right now, but do it do it bo. You're sick. Oh, I'm sick right now. I'm so sorry

This thing is um He's doing well. I think on that that espn gig. I think he's so good. I think he's doing good. He works a lot You know, uh, paul banks is coming back to and he texted me and because they're opening for morasi Or see and um, he wants to play ping pong. So I want to get a table for the new house. We don't have space. Where we are gonna We're gonna get the table Santa ana winds are coming so it can't be outside this fuck the santa ana you wipe because those are my winds That's gonna help me. Oh, it'll help you. Yeah, it'll help me when I'll practice with the santa

Okay, ana. All right, but that's gotta happen. George. We gotta tape it What do you think I'm gonna lose to fucking that fact? No, I already see you beat him What was the score last time was close to games is not but but Your health has deteriorated. No, no, no, no, no, I got a pellet cugus. Oh, yeah, we got a pallet. I got a belligas All right, so we're gonna do that. So he's coming into town and then um schneider too Who's gonna be a big one? You know what I love about um, okay Speaking to family members or friends from the Philippines versus just casually speaking to friends here is that People here don't have interesting stories

Like I just got off at like a conversation with my cousin Luisa And this is a type of normal shit that she tells me she's like, oh, yeah So-and-so separated from her husband because she stabbed him with a barbecue stick That's just casual conversation. I understand that Over here, my friends are like, oh, yeah, did you see like, you know the full moon and crystals and shit like that? And I'm like, I don't give shit. Yeah Barbecue skewer. There there is a weakness to liberalism that I don't like There's an affection associated with leftist being liberal. Oh my god. Totally leftist. I don't like it has to do with language

It has to do with also just in terms of like I'm not a hippie I'm not a hippie culture kind of a guy. I'm more the opposite. I'm more like counterculture What'd you say to me counterculture counterculture. Yeah, that's true counterculture Did it feel good to interrupt me and and and to correct me in that way during my podcast or No, I'm asking. I'm not mad. I love you I apologize

He bowls too. How'd you trade off the bow? This is a good one I'm telling you right now, dude. The day is going to come. We'll remake robots. You're the you're the servant You're the you're going to be the model that everyone's going to want Right circuit and your your robotic parts from the waist down are going to be huge I mean imagine that robotic we would they would fuck the shit out of this one The john not three. Yeah. Yeah, we did to john not three thousand. Oh, yeah big asshole right little dick

Right, but that you're also like you laugh at all the jokes during the morning saturday mornings with the kids right Then you watch, you know, you watch You what am I doing? Because you're the robot. So you you watch the saturday morning cartoons with the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, right? What's wrong, babe? No, I'm trying to listen. You're you might not make any sense I couldn't really keep up. No, but I think that it's good. Yeah I think that it's good. I think it's good question. That's all I give a fuck about, you know

Oh, so here's the game So the game we were playing before we even started is this So there's a new movie out coming called ad astra. Oh, you know the answer You cannot answer it It's between these two we can't figure it out and they can't figure it out. So the game is this So we have a friend who was a guest on our show the tiger belly show who's co-starring in that movie

And I asked these two hang on one second, but you've seen it No, oh, okay, because I was gonna say maybe they've seen it and he got cut out or something. He's not cut out He's not cut out. We were guessing earlier. Okay. Good. I'm glad he wasn't cut out. Whoo So just think about it. Just think about it. So none of the names we said already Not polysure not harlow. Okay. I will give you a clue. We had a very intense con No, baby. Don't give me that's almost too much already. That's not we had a very good debate about Real reality versus non-reality That's actually that's not a good clue at all

We had a very confusing. That's a great clue. That was even a clue those words. That's a good clue, man Okay, keep doing those ones. Yeah, reality non-reality. That's not real. Second dimension shit, man I confused myself. Mine melding dude. Mine melding dude. It's all about mine melding, bro. Sam Tripoli? Sam Tripoli, dude. Ed Astor, yeah, you're fucking- I don't know! Sam Tripoli, fourth lead. Ed Astor, you are your fucking mind. Hold on. It's not somebody- He said it was a comedian So I'm trying to think. Yeah, it's not Brian Callan. Yeah, not Theo, not Christa Lea Oh Say it. Oh, you already know it is you already know who it is

All right, so stop. Okay. You all right stop. You don't say anything. Okay. You don't say anything. Do you have it? I guess you have a guess though Just get a guess in your mind. Okay. All right. It's not here yet. Do you have a guess yet? No Well, you're gonna have to get one because the game just say one word and maybe you'll get it I'm just gonna make it easier. No, don't make it easier. Don't. All right. Go ahead. Okay. Don't make it too obvious No, I know. I got I got it. How about this? He also was in a movie that was a sequel to a classic

Got it You know what is okay. He likes dogs Nope He likes dogs. He doesn't like dogs. Yeah. Yeah. Does he like he loves dogs dogs. So throw out that so so Don't throw it out. So throw it out. Go ahead and go Go say it's it Wait, hold on. Say it. I just panic and forgot to say it out. I don't know it. Well, you don't know what you're thinking about He's thinking about the guy with the dogs. You don't know. He'll name it either

Wait, we quite be quite big. Hold on. So who's the guy with the dog the jewish guy you're talking about? I don't know with the dogs. Who are you talking about with the dog? No, I'm not talking about thomas lennon No, you're talking about. Who are you talking about? Michael Rosenbaum? No, I know Rosenbaum. I'm thinking about Who had like the picture of the dogs? Am I making something up? What the fuck are you talking about? All right, you don't have an answer, but it's not thomas lennon. No, you thomas lennon is your aunt That's a very good talking about thomas lennon came here to pull that thing about the dog. All right. So who do you have? That would have been my guess thomas lennon. Yeah, okay. What is your guess?

Jamie kennedy. It is. Oh Jamie kennedy Wow, he's in that. Well, I googled it because I didn't know what it was He got good reviews and then I looked at the cast and he was fourth and then I Texted him and he goes. Yeah, if they didn't cut me out, but he was high up on the thing I wouldn't have done it if he was like 30th On the movie, but he's like fourth or fifth lead in it. Jamie kennedy. He's a good actor. He's a great actor, by the way And oh, can I just say this too dice too?

There are certain he's in that. No, oh god, but there are certain comics That have the double thing And some comics that are just born Without it and they no matter how many classes they take No, but how hard they try They just don't have it Right. Jamie has it Right dice. Are they the best stand-ups? They're very good at for what they do, right? They wouldn't be um

And I would put myself in their category as well, right? Um, they're not they're not bill Burr. Bill Burr is a um You know, he is a symbol Of comedy right now. He's in a big TV show coming up. Yeah, he is huge bill billy is um Guys like him that are rising To that level and but Jamie and and and and dice and you know what's gonna act rosanne bar Mark marin mark marin can act. Oh, good. He's so good and glow He's also good and easy and he's in Joker. Yeah. Yeah, and when you ask another when people ask whatever happened to so So he's such a funny stand-up. What happened is that they just never learned to do it the other stuff that you need to learn

You know and it's hard you get it because you're not from Just one you know discipline Discipline right you need to have several disciplines one of the disciplines you need is a live element Because I feel like if you can act live And also do comedy live in front of an audience and they're responding You know, that's the key. I think you have to and it's scary. You have to prove your worth, but um, You know you have it Gilbert. Don't worry about it. Thanks. What? Thanks. No, I'm hearing it from the what about me though? The

Yeah, what about me? Dude, you got something happening. He's got something happening. We can't talk about what you John good. Yeah Yeah, how about you babe? She's gonna be a host. I really feel like she's gonna host a vh1 show or something I know I get it not not like I was saying three years. No, no In three years you will I feel like you will be doing like a host work. I'm not even kidding I'm letting you know now Gilbert that I would rather And I'm not even I would be terrible at it, but I would rather act at a pink film and do soft core Oh, wow, you're doing Robert DeNiro right now, babe Then dude then host anything

Is that mean street? What is it? I don't I don't have the quickness the quick head like that. It's all scripted. You know what dude? You know what dude? I don't even see that. You know what I see? You know how you have oxygen network. Yeah, lx Network licks netlicks What would be your would be her programming so many good programming what gang life would be one? Oh, I'll be right Pasadena gang life. Yeah, you gotta hang out with a mashed potato gang Wiggly Lane I don't get killed by them. Yeah, they're legit watch your back, especially you yeah, why?

Cuz the fucking Pasadena Denver lanes the PDL bloods are a real thing and you're mocking them They all love me friend All those kind of elements. They love me. We were talking about gay vampires there. Was it earlier? Yeah, it was literally five minutes. Why was it? Why are we talking about gay vampires? You started? What was I talking about? I don't know just say it. I wanted to go be clear about something about you weren't in the room, right? A friend of yours. Yeah, who has come crust. No, that's all right Then it went into no who has come no, no, no, no, no one has come No one has long enough come you know that you'd have to leave the come on your face long enough for it to know an hour

No, no hours, you know how there's an animal wipe your face off when the comes on there. Do you guys? Don't crustify it bother. Does it bother you when people have like white crust on the side of the mouth when they speak? I have it No, lately I've been having it. I don't know how you even even said it like last week you said it You have that white come-cross thing because you had a powder donut. Oh, that's what it was Yeah, I was sugar. It was but you don't naturally I don't have no idea I think people who like to a lot of gum and get that like little white thing. Yeah I was talking about Peter Kim. So Peter came and I pitched the show that Peter and Peter route

Essentially, but a lot of it has little to do with the poppers involved. We're involved, right? And so he might have sold it and so all I was saying is this and that's how we got into you know, I mean I was joking around saying that Peter's a gay vampire and you know, sometimes I let him suck the come out of my dick I go bite into it with your you know, I mean vampire show you pitched because I'd rather just suck it out So he doesn't spite the you know, I mean he wants to he wants me to squirt the come in his mouth That's so funny. Have you seen his Instagram story today? It's actually all about come. Can I put it for you? Yeah, it makes sense that you would think this about Peter because here let me I'm proving my point. Shout out to Peter. I love Peter. Here he goes. This is his Instagram. He's addicted to it

A lay down tar for me and then they start squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, after squirt, after squirt, after squirt, after squirt, after squirt Bobby's not lying guys. Does that sound like a gay vampire? Who says squirt that many times? Gay vampires Peter Kim. And if you look at his story, it's all about come today I swear to God. Yeah, he was like, it's not what you think and he was like something on his body and then the next then second part of his story I was like, just kidding. It's come He has come crush. You know what God fucked up. I just thought of this is a third sack for so you have two sacks right for the calm There's a third sack in between the two sacks. That's a little smaller. Sign to lark. Sign to lark. You know what it is? Flavoring It's like those coke machines. Yeah, choose the different flavoring. Right. You can go diet even. No sugar. Yeah, right. For who?

Who's the flavoring for my come so you can enjoy your own no, no, no, no. I mean, I would check out the flavors. Yeah If I went to the store that we have new flavors, I would be like, let's see. They have samples probably. Yeah, you take a little sample put in the third sack The little one, right? You go root beer. Yeah, it's pretty close. And you're like, it is a little creamy. You know what I mean? But yeah, I think God should have done that. That'd be cool. The third little sack with flavoring. Yeah. All right. Anyway, when I die, I have notes for God. Do you have that? Do you have notes for God? I have like human notes like third sack. What else would you know about this? You know about my other one, the anus at the bottom of the foot. Oh, yeah, that's the easiest. That come on. You know what I mean? You could shit anywhere. But your shoe though, your shoe has an opening. Your shoe has a little mechanism. Those click, click the anus is at the heel, right? You stick your foot. You could stick your foot in a hole, right? And you're shitting like this, right? You're right in a hole, right? And you got, Hey, Danny. Yeah. How's Margo? Oh, she's getting good grades. Yeah. Excuse me for a second.

See ya. God, take notes. Yeah, but then flavor packs. Butthole on the bottom of the foot. What else would you have to like, fuck, you would have to fuck feet. If you liked anal. Yeah, if you were like anal. Okay. Yeah. So you could still do it. So West Hollywood, you just walk it down. Or it was foot fiving. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe like, or maybe the gay, the gay man's right leg where the hole is the right foot is much more muscular than most. Oh, like, because they use it like in a different kind of way. tennis player tennis elbow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This elbow is an injury. It's like tennis elbow. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And then like, you know, guys like Elon Musk, they put like, you know what I mean? Like an extra like electrical, like future leg thing where it's like a power leg. Yeah. So you're like that. Yeah. Yeah. We learn so much that we should be inventors. Yeah. These are all ideas. Yeah, we should be inventors. Will you hate me right now? Am I off today? I feel like I'm on a little bit. You give me looks like I'm off, but I don't feel like I'm off.

I feel like I'm okay. I just thought I'm off. I don't think I'm on board with anus foot. I just don't think that's her jam. We said it before. I think that's what it is. I don't think like, I don't think she likes when we repeat things. Oh, yeah. It's a thing of mine. Yeah. I like that. But also I find that it's necessary because when I go to other podcasts, I repeat myself. So who am I to say anything? Oh, I did Eric Griffin's podcast last week. How was the chemistry? I went all the way to the other side of town for it. Yeah. He lives in Century City. It's insane. Yeah. You're like underneath like all those underpasses. It's like, it's insane. It's really far. And I go, what are you living here? And you go in it and it's like a time machine, right, babe? But we're not making fun of him. We're not making fun of him. You know what? He loves you and your brother so deeply. And you guys should be nicer to him. But there's something off about what? When you see a guy who's a stand up television, you know, films and that, and you go into his kitchen and they have like that poster with the dogs gambling.

Oh, from Rover Dangerfield. Right. But like, those are like classic signs. I feel like a cartoon. Yeah. Those are classic signs or there's something wrong going on. Like if I flipped over that thing, there's blood stains, right? Or like a message that says greed in blood. And you're like, it's starting. Yeah, it's starting. It's starting. Like he's that kind of guy. I can't corroborate this. Yes, you can. No, I can't. You will because we're going to break into his house and we're going to get fingertip prints, fingertips and prints, all of it. He's killed somebody. He's done something. That house is unnatural. Anyway, go ahead. I only mentioned it because I wanted to defend him. And I think his home is a very normal, cozy home. Yeah. He's a real person. He has office supplies. Like, you know, it's so weird when you think of someone as a very like 2D. You don't think of them as real because you just see you have a very, oh, he does their podcast. He's very funny.

You go into their home and you look at, you know, the pens that they buy. They're actually responsible. Yeah. Like the post-its and little reminders and their laundry folded and you're like, wow. Yeah. Did you go into his kitchen? I did. He was this little storage place where you put the like the Parmesan cheese and all that kind of stuff. I didn't go to the pantry. The pantry. Thank you. That's the word. Thank you. All right. Well, go in there. Right. Did you see the little little bottle there that doesn't seem like it should be there? Press on it. Oh, lever. Oh, it opens. Holy shit. What's going? There's stairs. I wonder what's down here. You go down there and there's a white guy. Right. Just hear me out. Right. And a woman. Okay. Right. Does a married couple? No, they don't know each other. They're not married. Yeah. Yeah. Woman's dad. Oh, I forgot to say that. So the guy's been dead for a long time. Yeah. But the guy's still there. Right. And he's just like, you don't know. Anyway. Nothing. And now I'm getting into territory. We're going to have to cut something stuff out.

We're going to interject. Yeah, interject. And mention something that he told me and I want to know what you think about it. Go ahead. So Eric thinks that I should, that there's a part of me that has completely shied away from like my sexuality that I no longer, when he says when I first met you, you were just so, you know, you had, you were oozing sexuality. And then now you, you know, you dress like a slob, basically. And so he was saying, you know, maybe you should walk around the house with like, basically he's telling me to wear itchy lingerie around the house. Okay. I should put out a thirst trap for you. You deserve better. You deserve better. Let's get to, let's get to the, that's what you took. Yeah. Let's get, let's get to the root. Let's get to the root. Oh my God. I'm so glad. I'm such a great listener. Yeah, I know. I'm listening to everything you're saying. That's why I'm saying what I'm saying. He's saying that I should do more. Exactly. I should do more. And I should do more. And I apologize. I gotta be better. I'm so confused. You know what I'm saying. All right. What you're basically saying is, is that what Erica is saying is that I somehow changed you, right? Over the years. And now I have you in some sort of mind controlled or mind melt kind of a situation.

Just let me hear, just let me think, let me think out loud. Yeah, your mind. Good. I think that's where the magic is. Let me think out loud. Yeah. All right. Okay. But check this. Yeah. I think that he's saying some bullshit that like I somehow, you know, unfeminized you. Is that even a word? It is now. Yeah. Through time. And that you used to wear, yeah, it used to be Tanner. It used to be a little bit more. I didn't like Tan Club. Yeah, not only either. It used to be a little bit more like ditzy. You know what I mean? But you're the smartest person I know. You're the brightest person I know. You're the most complex person I know. You're everything to me, babe. So you can listen to that fat, black fuck. Yeah, that flack fuck. Right? All you want. I'm gonna fuck now. And people go, you're fat shaming him. Doesn't that have you seen his body? Right? If you have eyes, you have eyes, you've seen it then. There's something wrong. Unhealthy. Okay. Stop drinking grease. Oh my God, I'm going too far. He's a great guy. Tell me you love him. Not what he said. I love him. And he was saying basically like. I'm kidding. Fact checked it. Fact checked it. I love him. You're right. I'll get better, babe. I'll be a better person. I love him. You deserve something better. She deserves a better boyfriend. I'm the worst. No, you know, we deserve to be better for each other. I need to be better too.

There we go. That's all I wanted to hear. What you deserve? Is that a victory? We're doing it together. We're doing it together. Sorry. Get real good, huh, Dad? We're gonna get really good. And you know, I want to thank you too, babe, for the help that you gave my mom. My mom loves you. You really, you saw how fucked up I am with my mom. It's a weird family. Are we allowed to be honest for a second? Yeah, go ahead. So what I noticed on her trip to LA was you guys have a very vocal love where you say, big I love yous, but you're very little on the gesture, very avoidant. They don't pick her up from the airport. They don't drop her off at the airport. They don't really spend a lot of time with her. It's very concentrated, like bursts of time together. They'll spend 10 minutes with her, and then all of a sudden, then they'll be like, okay, Kalilah, like, you take her around town. And then you just don't really spend time with each other. You can only handle each other in short bursts, and none of you guys listen to each other. It's kind of a, it was a very, I loved her company, but it was a very head scratching weekend for me where I'm like, dang, that's one way to show love, I guess. And you were saying we played hot potato with my dad's ashes? Yeah, you guys are playing hot potato with your dad's ashes. His mom, okay, this is what happened.

Let's rewind real quick. The whole reason why she was here in the fucking question. The whole reason why is because she doesn't want the ashes. Okay, and then you didn't pick up her phone call, so she calls me from Arizona. She kept calling me. I knew it was about the fucking ashes. Give me, like, let me let you, whatever, right? And I go, no. Keep, I spent extra $60 or $80 to keep the ashes in the mortuary, right? And they go, why? Because I know my mom thinks that like half, because the ashes are split into two boxes. Right? So my mom thinks that half of my dad's ghost is going to haunt her if she has half of the box, right? So she kept both boxes at the mortuary. And I said, let me, because she's not going to want them. So we might, I might pick them up a year from now. Let me pay you extra. Right? But no, she brings these fucking two boxes, right back to LA.

So I get a phone call on a Thursday night. And she says, Kalilah, Bobby is not picking up my phone call. I need, can you buy me a ticket to go to LA tomorrow? And I was like, well, why? What's what's happening? What's the occasion? Because, you know, she was supposed to be here in a couple of weeks, right? And she's like, Oh, I'm picking up the ashes tomorrow morning. I don't want to spend the night with the ashes. So I have to fly to LA the same day to drop off the ashes. Wow. There was a whole reason why she was here. Yeah. Right. So, and then like, I didn't want the ashes. So I told Steve to take both. And he doesn't want both. He's scared of it.

So I go, I'll fucking take, I guess, the other half. Oh, yeah. So now it's in our new studio. Also, I'm not, I also, yeah, it is, but I also don't know. Behind Gilbert. Yep. I also don't know the percentage of if I open up the box. Oh, gosh. How much of those ashes is fully my dad?

That's what creeps me out. If it was fully your dad, I'm okay with that. But what if there are others? That's what I'm saying. I have the energy. There's definitely others. That's right, because they don't clean out that that what is that this furnace every single time, right? So, you know, I mean, there's some or some kind of person we've, he's offended in the past. Yeah, yes. And they might retaliate.

I'm just saying, it's not purely, I don't feed, guarantee it's 100% my dad's ashes. That's impossible in my mind. So what is it? We don't know. So what should we do with the box? It's a simple, we're going to put it down there. It's in our podcast. We're going to keep it down there. Well, it's going to be behind Gilbert the whole time. You see where we,

Yeah. But you know what's cute is the photo my brother had for the box. It's really cute. Yeah. It's hard to look at. That's a good pick of your dad. It's a good pick of my dad. It's hard to look at. I don't honestly, I don't, I don't, I can't even, it's so funny. I'll lay down. I'll just be in the backyard vaping and I'll just get this random thought of my dad.

And it'll completely alter my day and my mood from then on. It's such a weird sensation of like, I think I'm running from the fact that he died. I know I keep saying it because, you know, it's what three or four episodes in now. I'm still dealing with it. I'm sorry. I want to be real. Okay. Here's another thing I want to say to all the comics. We've had a couple of fallouts.

I've tried to fill in those gaps with comics that have asked me a 10,000 times to be on my fucking podcast. If you get these windows of opportunities to Tiger Belly, just fucking do it. I agree. I'm going to say it's my mom again. Look, it's every, I'm going to just read it. I don't know what this text is. It's probably a nice loving text and you should respond lovingly.

I've been in bed for two days. Oh, why are you laughing? Wow, he loves everything. He loves everything you do that. Don't like everything. I'm going to say it again. That should make you laugh. John, look at him though.

I beat. You doubled down. I've been bad. Okay, man. I've been bad for two days. Okay. Whenever I try to get up, I couldn't. Oh my God, because I've been having dizzy spells.

This is the first time I'll recover from it. Don't worry. I'll never leave my boys alone. Love you so much. Good night. Oh my God, she's dying. What the fuck is going on? Well, let's go back to this then.

My finger. Okay. I fucked up my finger from. So, like 10 years ago, my finger split. Okay. Oh. And then it split down the middle and it grew back. Okay.

But then all of a sudden this half fell off. You're not interested in what I'm saying? No, just making sure. What the fuck? Your finger split in half. Let me see. No, forget it. Hold on.

Oh, I know what finger you're talking about. Thank you. Sorry, I was texting your mom. I know you're fine. You all right? Yeah, I was getting the unhelpful. Ready. Was that me that we have time?

Oh my God, your finger, it fell off. I know. I saw her right now. What the fuck? What does the deal is? That's a blessing from God. Thank God. I've been waiting.

I know she's been praying for it. Why is it? Because I think it's fungus infested. Don't stop fucking saying it that way. I tell everyone it's fungus affected. And then when I shake people's hands, they go, is it affected? I go, not my fucking hands. Oh.

I know, but don't say it. Anyway, I'm going to tell you what happened. Half of it fell. So I'm like, I got to even it out. So I broke the other half, but it was still like not ready. So it hurt real bad. Like the most pain I've ever felt. How much did it bleed?

A lot. Anyway, let's move on. Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalilah. Bobby and all my father-in-law is Korean and a business owner in LA. For years, he has asked my wife and I to consider moving back to LA to work for him. I have a comfortable six-figure job where we currently live, but now he's offering a job with a new company at more than double my salary. My wife and I are very hesitant because it would mean I would be working with him every

day. He hired his brother a few years back and they ended up not speaking for more than a year. I get along with my father-in-law very well, and this is an amazing opportunity, but we still feel very hesitant and don't want to make a choice out of greed. What would you do? Extra details. We have two kids, six and one, makes moving harder. We would have to live with my in-laws in the short term, and we currently live about 12

hours from LA. Should he work with his in-laws? You know, I'm just, you know, the only way to make it in life, in my opinion, is to take big risks. And a lot of times, you know, the answer isn't easy. A lot of times it isn't always about, am I completely and utterly happy in this situation? Sometimes it's about, will this give my kids, you know, an opportunity down the road because I'll make more money, they'll get better opportunities because of that, right or no?

I have a different point of view about that. Oh. It sounded like a perfume commercial. Yeah, I just... I think the bigger risks... No, I just want to... Okay, all right. Do you differ from it?

I do. I think... Entirely? I think the biggest risk you can ever make is choosing money over happiness. That's to me too big of a risk to take. If you like where you are now, Six Figures is a great income for a family of four. If you're, you know, I don't know where you live, but LA is super expensive and you would be making double here, but you would be spending double here.

And I just think that that's too much of a... It already sounds like you have all these trepidations and they're probably valid and you should listen to... Unless you had a 17-year-old kid who said, dad, let's move to LA and help me because there's this career, you know what I mean? If you knew for a fact that you were helping and boosting your family in a way other than just financially, then I would say make the move. But if it's just for financial gain, I wouldn't give up the happiness that I have now.

I would suffer through it. I'm going to commit to my point of view, I think. That's fine. And that's why you are where you are and I am where I am. You're in a better place. No, that's not what I said. Financially, you're in a better place. You took bigger risks.

Oftentimes in my life... I don't want to start a fight with you, baby. I want to have a good life with you. I know, but... I woke up today and I was a little groggy and stuff, but I said to myself, I want to have a good life with you. All right, so I'll be better. Why do you keep deciphering everything?

Okay. I'm always going to choose love and family over money, always. Me too, but... Me too, but... Me too, but... Baby, I'm just saying... Me too, but... But, you know, it's like a lot of times, you know, I'm not saying to do this for the rest

of his life, but sometimes you have to take a risk because by him moving here and coming and taking a risk, he's scared, but he's going to meet new people, right? He's going to meet people with other ideas about whatever, you know? And it just opens up his world is what I'm saying. How do you know that his world isn't open and that he's not meeting new people every day in his life now? Right. And I'm sure he may or...

LA is not the only place you can do that. It's a very big, meaningful life anywhere in the world. Anywhere in the planet. LA's not the hub for that. In fact, I will say this. I have not met a lot of people since moving back to Hollywood. I met a lot of people when I lived in Long Beach. I met a lot of people when I lived everywhere else.

For me, it's a little bit harder really having deep friendships living where I live now. I have a Korean way of looking at it, I think. I think that's what it is. Yeah. You're all about pragmatism and financial gain. I get it. I get it. You know, it's not even that.

And by me saying it, I realize that it's been conditioned, right? You have somewhere to go? What's wrong? No. Okay. I just feel like... You all right? Yeah.

All right. Finish your thought. I don't... That's why I said it because I forgot what I meant. I know. I was like looking at it. I knew it. I was looking at it.

I was like, why didn't you stop? You said being Korean, you're conditioned. Oh, there we go. That is... I'm so stupid. Yeah. And these are different things that I've learned by doing this, is that when something... When I have a fart, what I've been doing, trying to do is just try to be non-sequitur

about it and just ask a random question so that maybe that's going to trigger... Give me that last couple of seconds that I need. So that's what it was. I thought Kalala knew that. All right. So by being... The other point was, and what I mean by being Korean is that I just have a thing that my dad did, which was, I'm opening a store in a different city.

You're not going to see me as often, maybe at months of the time you won't see me, but know that I'm doing it so that we can put food on the table. It's for you, I'm doing it, right? And we understood that as a family. To go to Sacramento, I'm not saying that that's the best way to... Where is... Who's... You're in Sacramento?

No, they're not, because it's the back of the line. No, I'm talking about what my dad did that. My dad went to Sacramento. My dad went to Sacramento to do that for us, right? So there's two different points of views, but you know... This is... It seems it would appear that the offer has all the bells and whistles, but that's to me is just an illusion.

It's the illusion of being in a big city. It's the illusion of having a higher power job. It's all an illusion. I guarantee you, you will feel no different, not any more powerful by living here. I tell this to my sister, Honey, a lot, because she's in the Philippines. She has four kids back home. She's married to a lawyer and she has her own... She runs her own business back there, right?

And she always has dreams of coming to America and she's like, oh, you know, because she has her nursing degree. She's like, oh, I'm just going to come over and maybe we can just start a life there. And I was like, well, do you like your life now? She's like, yeah, I love my life now. Like everything... She has everything that she's ever wanted, you know, the dogs, the home, the cars, the job, the husband, the life.

And I was like, don't come here. You'll be miserable. It's all an illusion. Like I am not happier where I am now than she is over there. And I can guarantee you that. And I would be very careful about, you know, being swayed and then looking at things that appear shiny from afar because it's not... It doesn't feel shiny when you get there.

That's all I'm saying. You're right. You've got to get the last word. You're right. You guys are... Right? But I need to win this argument. Let me try one last thing.

Okay. To win it. It wasn't an argument. It's just a different way to view. I just need to win my thing. If you move here, dude, I'll take you to dinner. I'll just... Game.

Game. If you move here, I swear to God. You move here, I'll take you to fucking... I'll take you to fucking Morton's, wherever you want to go, whatever the best, Boa, wherever you want to go, right? With you and your wife, right? I need to know what the address you're moving in, dude, so we have the facts that you are moving here.

Right? I need to win. All right? So please move to L.A. Okay. You win. That's kind of... That's pretty good.

Actually, better... Do you have a restaurant offer for him? I can take you to a mom-and-pop shop, but don't move here because you know that Kaleh is right. What? Yeah. I'm not right. I think Kaleh is right.

I think you were... Your cut instinct is right. I want you to be happy. Don't be... You know what, dude? You're right. I've made too many sacrifices for this fucking bullshit dream of mine. It's not worth it.

Live your... Be happy. Move where the love is. Move where the love is. And I don't think you should ever operate based on fear or feeling like, oh, I should have done this or I should have done that. Just move... Yeah, just...

Move or don't. Move where the love is. You already have it at home. Make your life big there. You know? Like wherever... Even if you live in fucking... What's a shit town?

What's... Bakerfield. And Bakerfield. A lot of rich people come from agriculture. Where we went there for that show. Victorville. Victorville. Victorville's not bad.

Okay. We just make up a town. Hesperia. I hate asparagus. Game. Game. Asparagus. USA.

I hate asparagus. You really don't like it? Nah. It's like tubes. It's tubes of green. Spears. They're called spears. Yeah, but it's tubes of green.

And when you bite into it, it's like, it's hollow, but not. I don't like it. I found... I read this one interesting thing about asparagus where all of us pee, you know, we have that asparagus smelling thing, but not all of us have the genes to smell it. So it's not that your pee doesn't smell. When you eat asparagus, it's just that you can't smell it. Yes.

And I do eat stuff that affects my poo and pee. You are right. And I only eat it so that it, so I can see what the effect of it is. Are you into digestibles or non-digestibles? Like beets. You know, I eat a lot of beets. What happens when you eat beets? Oh, it just makes my pee dark.

It's like, you know what it, you know, dark Phoenix? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. When she's crying, but the Phoenix, that's what my pee looks like. Oh yeah. And he drinks a lot of Pepto-Bismol because he likes his tari shit.

Yeah. So I like my poo. Black. Really black and tari. If you drink... From the bismut. Listen to me right now. If you want to change and you want to, you want magic, you want to learn how to do magic,

I'm going to show you. Drink a whole bottle of Pepto-Bismol tonight. Definitely don't do that. Tomorrow your poo will look like dark lava rocks. Like obsidian. Ooh. It'll look like it's on fire. Dark black lava rocks.

Remember like in that Chernobyl HBO thing, the shit that they found on the rooftops? That's what your poo looks like. Also worth noting that if you have tari shits, you should probably get checked because you probably have internal bleeding. That's right. Contact your local government. Well, that does happen. Yeah.

That was a great episode. I thought we learned about science. Oh my. I think we learned about prep, past things. Didn't we not, George? Yeah. What'd you think of it? I was thoroughly entertained by my own voices.

I wrote down one of the best of the year, this is getting flipped for the best of the year at the end of the year. Is that what you said? Yeah. I'm very proud of you. Do we not do it together? I feel like you carried most of the show. Thank you.

We did it. We're carrying our pack. Babe, I think that Stella's getting her groove back. We did it. Are you ready? I think you're getting your groove back. I help. I help.

Before we go, Whitaker or Ania? Okay. Just what your final pick or if you don't have to choose one, but your thoughts, thoughts. Whitaker is my most favorite fighter in all of UFC has been for the past year. Really? Favorite? I love him. In fact, he's the only fighter I follow on Instagram.

I love him. Sorry, DC. I don't even follow these. I got a new phone, okay? And I have the email thing. You know how it says the amount of emails? What's a lot? Mine, which is 5,000.

That's a lot? That's what yours says? Yeah. Mine says 17,000. What does that mean? I thought I had a lot. 10 years worth of emails. So there's 10 years worth of emails that I haven't even opened?

Yeah. Jesus. You know what you should do? You should go dig deep into, you should look at what you used to say to ex-girlfriends. That's what sometimes... I never emailed anybody. That's the problem. Yes, I'm sure you did.

Oh, you think I have? Yeah. Hold on. I'm going to... I'm going to... Hold on. I'm going to look for one. Let me go my deep.

I'm going to look for... Wait. So Kalyla, you want Whitaker or Adesanya? I think people want... I want Whitaker always. I'm with Whitaker. I'm with Whitaker with Kalyla on that one. I love him.

Adesanya. But Adesanya is great. Go ahead. Oh. Even did the nickname. He did the nickname. Who else is fighting that night tomorrow? Saturday.

Let's look up. Should be good. Karna. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.

Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.

Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.

Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.

Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.

Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.

Yeah. Two. There about very tone. Anyway, what else with the times We're done. That's harsh. Let's finish it. Do you have any final thoughts? I don't know. I'd like to I don't touch my feet What happened? Is it wet? I want to say I want to say something to What is happening? I want to say something to my partner of six years Oh, I

Want to say am I allowed to say it are you gonna be listening? No I'm done with the personal stuff. Go ahead. What is it? I want to say that We've been through a lot the last couple months as you've been through a lot the last couple months but I'm happy to see that you're slowly coming out of the thick gray cloud and I'm glad to have you back. Oh I get that. Yeah No, that was not bad. Can you can you help me?

Baby you got it. No, babe. You got it. Sorry. Help her. Help her help. No, okay, you got it. You got the legs I don't know much about anything. Thank you What else we good Good night everyone. Thank you for listening to our podcast Thanks again to our lovely sponsors hymns voodoo manscape and candid order now to get started with hymns complete hair gift for just five dollars a day while supplies last for more information go to four hymns comm Slash belly watch free movies like conner in the fifth element head over to voodoo comm slash tiger belly to sign up and start watching Instantly that's VUDU comm slash tiger belly get 20% off free shipping and a free travel bag with the code

Belly at manscape comm we are loving that travel bag. I'm going to have a photo ready smile by the holidays boom right here So you can too go to candid co comm tiger belly and use the code tiger belly to get 75 dollars on Like me you can't have straight teeth Right Kala or like policy the closet straight her teeth. No, I like my gaps. Yeah, nope. You don't I'm keeping mine fine I'll get my teeth straight. We rely on you to make tiger belly great get your questions on tiger belly by emailing us at adviceunhelpful gmail.com and That's one more time adviceunhelpful at gmail.com You can follow everything at Kaila at calamity K everything John now at

John Nana everything George at Get him to 20 K. I guess that's the new goal Everything Bobby Lee tour dates make sure you go to Bobby Lee live comm and also check them out at Bobby Lee live Good night. All right, so talk about anything else Hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery comm slash survey