TigerBelly - EP 217: Jon Reep & The Shaky Shoulder

Episode Date: October 23, 2019

Bobby and Jon go hot-tubbing. We talk Italian ninja shoes, terminator holes, Ricism, and one steamy night at The Travelodge. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today We can No, because he's gonna dance to the whole thing got it. Oh, I'll be still Do you want me to dance? Well, I just wanted you over exert yourself All right, okay, let's do it again I know you get a stroke You do the banjo, yeah five Okay, good

Don't fuck around man, I love you now listen guys welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly I'm your I'm a good guy. I feel I believe that I really believe I'm a good guy You know what I go to when I was in San Antonio. I met a lot of these like, you know My little beautiful free holidays is what I call them You know, you don't have to refree refry these fuckers. They're already fried up. You know what I mean? But these Mexican people and these people that come to the shows They go, hey, bro, and I go, what's up? And they go, what's up, bro? I go, hey, and they go, we love you, dude

And I'm like, thank you. Gracias amigo because I feel the same. I love them, too And there's some whites one black. I met who's beautiful, but San Antonio. Thank you for coming out I made more money there than I've ever made and this is building and that's called Me living a fantasy fuck whole life. And I love it. I love loose pussy All right, all right, John rewind rewind love tight pussy Yeah, because I'm a Christian and I like I like any pussy that hasn't been touched unless the Lord anyway It's good to be here tiger belly. We got John too. Look at that. Look at this flat faced flat-faced fella Flat face fellow

He can't be the president because if he's on a coin, it'll only look like a line I Because your face we got the worst you bro. I know but you bro, dude You're like one of the I've been I've been researching white people and you're the worst of them But yours to the best and you know what you're white the woman that Asian woman that you're with You know, I've been making fun of her at last couple of months because you hadn't met her yet Go ahead men area and I'm telling you right now. I'm my new goal now is to get her to leave him because I truly believe I truly believe he came home and says she's way too good for him. Not only that. She's no he's shown to do this

He's just you're gonna be doing this with your own dick in your hand because she's gonna be gone No, I love you though. That's the thing. I don't know what's wrong with me when I when I don't know I had this you when I look at you. I want to fucking love you too. It's weird Anyway, and then we got gill you good. I'm gonna my house pilot season pretty good great hasn't started Happy New Year, you're gonna get something. Thank you, but I want to say something We have a great guest today, and I'm gonna do a little backstory about this guest on There are certain things that I didn't know about the human condition or human beings Before I met this person and the things that I didn't know is that I didn't know that a human being human being could talk

Without lips So when I met him I'm like, oh you can the lips aren't you know, yeah You know, it's not a vital, you know, it's the vocal whatever. I'm not a you know me I'm not a facial doctor. I'm sure there's doctors specifically for the face base That I didn't know and then I didn't know that you could take And a couple of my friends told me you want to make up a doll of this next comic I go, I don't know you can make a doll out of them You can't make a fire. We made a fire throw this raggedy and and in there

And after you do it the fire right and you take all the that's it. That's the doll That's the doll. He looks like if Alabama had a Chernobyl incident You know me like if Chernobyl happened in Alabama Yeah, then you'd be like, oh, I get why this fucking guy looks like a fucking Muppet No, don't say nothing, but but here's But that's that's the negative and here's a positive. Oh, okay. Thank God. Okay. Um, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, bro. But you know When I saw this guy perform for the first time this way before he was on a show called

Last comic standing and all that stuff before he got any that disaster movie like the storm When the redneck he was in the redneck that movie too, right? You watch that one a lot. I love that one Yeah, I love that movie and I love you in it I'm so jealous of you. But anyway, so, um He's so funny He's lip-less. He's redheaded all the negative things, you know, but like, you know, how like, you know when you know when Chris, you know who Chris von Senka is? Yeah, so in in Colorado, what does he have? You can talk now. What is okay? What is Chris?

My time is Chris Franca have he has like tiny arms, baby But he's a wheelchair, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I just was trying to guess what it was with what you just Yeah, but he um, but yeah, he's in a wheelchair But he took his handicap and he turned the negative into a positive Which is what we both did I think I think so, right? Because I think that you and I are both. Yes, um Mythological in that way. I agree, right? Ladies and gentlemen, we have John Reep Institute What places you take on last comic standing first

He won last Second 2007 season five season five. Yes, you want to hear the rundown the lineup that year? Yeah number one Number two was oh god, who was number two? I think it was Jerry D Jerry D. Who's Jerry D? Canadian comedian very funny dude. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. Number two was Lavelle Crawford. Oh shit Lavelle Crawford. How do you how do you beat Lavelle? Lavelle's a beast. How do you? Why you even ask that? I forgot you're a beast too. I understand. I thought Lavelle was gonna win. It was to me It was done. He was killing in the room. No one could beat Lavelle in the room But what it turned out was at home. It was different people were voting differently

But yeah, it was crazy. What makes a beast, you know, who's more likeable than a black a fat black man from the south a non-ricist White guy, right? Rices yeah, yeah, but that's cool with an accent. Yeah, what if I don't like rice? Okay, can I say this I might have said racist. Yeah, I might have said racist. I know but can I say this? You're a racist. I thought I was a friend and you don't have to call out my mistakes Oh my god, that is the term because you know how Koreans are like low-key really racist, but you're racist

You're racist, dude. Oh, some people like yellow rice some people like brown rice some people like white rice Whoa, what the rice is yeah, you're not really riced, but but you know I say it Lavelle Crawford came in number two Yeah, number three was Jerry D number four Amy Schumer. Oh my god Oh, that's right. That's not sure what happened. I wouldn't know what happened I heard from her sit. Yeah, I was Ralph Herron. Can I ask you something six when something like that because I've been Let me just say something. Okay. I've been on Matt TV, right? Yes, and you know at the time, you know There's a couple of guys on there that are like that way blew up way above me and they deserve it They're so talented, right? Okay, but is there a part of you that feels like?

Because Amy blew up so big that you you because I always questioned like what did I I didn't do anything wrong? My life is perfect, right? My life is perfect the way it is if if my career was any other way I might not even like it. I might kill myself. I this is the perfect life But you know the human condition you you you think you want more or yeah, what's better on the other side to do I don't blame anybody but myself Yeah, that's my fault. I took my foot off the gas. I was like, this is great I just want a bunch of money now. I'm gonna tour like crazy make more money Why do I need to go do more press? I'm good. Yeah, I just will coast for a while because I do that

Okay, I hit something hard feels good. Well, let's enjoy this for a minute. Let's live it up here Let's enjoy it and then it's like we need something else. Oh, I got it right new shit I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not and then it does this. Yeah, I've always done that. Yeah, so I Took my foot off the gas, but And Amy never did she I mean she just was like let's go let's go all the way Yeah, and I think she's used to she's very funny. She's very funny. She's quick. I love her me, too She was quick when she was always the the funniest one on the tour bus When it would come to a quick comeback or right off the cuff remark. She was so good at that

Yeah fast And at the time that she was on the show, she was green as hell She she hadn't even been doing stand-up that long, you know a couple years and I've been doing it for a long time So I have no ill will towards Amy Schumer in fact, we became friends for a little while. Yeah. Yeah, so You're still friends if you saw her. Yeah. Yeah, we're friendly. Yeah, we're friendly, but some people get busy Yeah, dude, I don't blame anybody for that. Yeah me either man. How long have you guys known each other? I'll be an eye. Yeah, I came out here in 2000. That's what that's got to be it then and uh, yeah That's what I met you. That's when I met you because you know who I remember the day

I remember that I know exactly where it was when I met where cuz I never met anybody like you I'm right. I'm rice is he rice is no good. Let me just say something I like when you said I when you say that right because who said that about me the other day, too Somebody said that that there's no one out there It's oh Neil Brennan said that. Mm-hmm. You don't better pull me aside. He goes I just want you know like no one on earth And I don't he's like it's not a compliment. He goes but you just respond and talk and you have a point of view That I don't understand or why

But that's you and that's what makes you you so of awesome fun energy But when you met me though, you had never met Chinese an Asian person like me not one as fun as you The ones I met were really good at math They were they were really smart I've seen those two. Yeah, they were shy shy. Right. Right shy shy. We're shy You were like you see my dick you were picking on me. You see my dick. I have seen your dick in hard That's hard. I'm pretty sure it's hard. You've seen my dick in hard form. I have I know that I have you know that I've seen yours. Yes, we have

In hard for me, and how do I yeah, you know, when do we go there? When do we go out? Can I tell you the story? All right, listen before you do this breaks as permission No, no, no, I'm not gonna ask permission because I'm gonna cut it out But I do want to harsh I want to say something for your kids and I want you to tell a story Okay, I do have a kid and a mother and a mother. Yeah, that's right. That's right, and it's okay. I'm prepared. It's time People know right and but there is I've built up this moment this actual moment in my brain. Yeah a long time Right. Yeah, and I'm so happy that it's finally I guess like I've Yeah, all my back for a long time

It really hyping it up I need you yeah, yeah, but it is one of the wait time out There's no one else in this room. No, no idea. I have no idea. She has no no and also second. I know everything about him I don't know this. Okay. Wow. Secondly, I've wanted to tell the story 10,000 times and I've been in like an opening Anthony or other places where I went I'm about to tell it and then something in my head goes That's the good human being in you man, right that makes me want to go over there and hug you. Yeah, yeah, but don't okay, please don't so um, John John At the time his best friend at the time one of his best friends was

I Jeff Richards. Yes, we started comedy together in Raleigh, North Carolina Right, he came out here a year or two before me and then I came out and stay on his couch for a while Well, I got to do it. That's how I met you. That's how you met me. Yeah, and if you don't might like tell that real quick Yeah, go ahead. I met you. It was at Dublin's when Dublin's was the shit and they were a Tuesday night and Jeff had been talking telling me about you for a while and I remember we're sitting out there. There was a little outdoor smoking area and you're out there smoking and it was me It was Jeff and it was I think Oshak was around and maybe John Gottzik. Oh You told me about John Gottzik. Yes, and

No, it's not I'm alive. I'm alive I just you know, I because my dad died a month ago. So I've been really like it's okay. Don't say but I've been really like kind of Nostalgic and like really kind of looking at my life In a somber kind of a way and also trying to prepare myself For death. Hmm. Oh jeez. It's not gonna happen anytime soon But I need I need to prepare myself. You feel more. Yes Mm-hmm And so when people bring up the past a little bit and I have fun memories or I miss those days or there's something

I get a little emotional, but you get emotional about the idea of the story. You're about to tell well Just the introduction was sweet. I mean it was like Does it stay sweet? Okay, I never were like where I grew up Football players joked around with each other. They were the ones kind of bully you, you know would take your head Go come here you. Yeah, I've never met anyone like you But what's what town from the South did you grow up? I grew up in Hickory, North Carolina. That's right. Hickory Hickory Hickory. Yeah, that's right That's right. I'd like to see you do Hickory. What do it? I can't do it. Say Hickory Hickory

North Carolina You're a Carolinaist so when you grew up there on used you probably grew up with a lot of Mostly white mostly mostly white mostly white people right then it goes it goes white black. I I guess Asian no, no Mexican right Asian right and then what other other white stuff right exactly what it is. Yeah, right, right So but but it's like when Theo Vaughn when he grew up He found out that there were an Asian kid had moved in the town next to him So him and his friends save money for bus ride to go visit it

Yeah, yeah, it wasn't it so they went over there to visit it and it was a it was a rumor Yeah, it wasn't even the truth. So they made it out there and then the Asian guy. It was like a Mexican with downs And anyway, whatever it might be, but go ahead. So I had never met anyone like you who was as forward and and but you know just I think the first thing you said to me Jeff goes. Hey, this is my friend Bobby Lee. Hey, Bobby. This is my friend John from North Carolina And you said you made some Hick joke, which is funny and then you you back sat you back hit my sack Yeah, you back tapped me. Yeah, you back tapped my sack my back tap my sack

And you were like, right? If I if I look back on my behavior back then because I've had Dane because they I did it Dane back then Okay, you punch me I just want to apologize because I don't do that shit no more. It doesn't bother me I know but it's still it's still but it's good to it's good to know that aggressive worried about it's forceful and Yeah, I just regret some of that behavior But um what made me like you instantly. I love you too. Yeah. Yeah, so then what so then so that's how I met That's how I met you and then it was cool. And then I remember taking you to the airport. Sometimes you did

I think it picked me up too one time Real friends where you waited at the gate, which she never did Well, you would get out. Yeah, he would get out of before 9-11. You could do. Oh, yeah, you could do before 9-11 Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I just so we and we went out to eat many times you take me to Jerry's deli I think after a set at the comedy store everyone would be shit-faced And you would be like, what do you want John? I'm like, I don't know. I'm not that hungry like get everything You just buy tons of shit

And no one would eat all of it. I'd be like, this is great. I love this man Yeah, this is sweet. And so we've had many good times many good meals many good meals. Yes. Good laughs so, um Jeff and I Not Jeff and I John and I and Jeff because Jeff's in the story. It wasn't it was a slip, but he's that's why but um John and I've seen each other's junk and I'll tell you how and we We're all like so quiet

I want to tell you my version and because I've embellished it as a comic so maybe you could correct me Sure, sure. Maybe we can find the truth together here. I wish we could get Jeff involved One of these days maybe we can call him. Yeah. Oh, you guys good. Yeah, we're good. We're good. We're good. We're fine Are you fine with Jeff you and Jeff? I'm really good with you. Okay. Good. Yeah. Yeah, we're good. Um, I've done his videos He owes me I uh, I uh, he was on my podcast once and I went to the lab factor when we sat down and we talked Good because you guys that yeah. So anyway, so we they were inseparable him and Jeff and um, so Jeff Jeff was on mad tv He did the first year and then he got let go which a lot of people don't survive and then the following year

I got mad tv, but he got snl right So when I we found out at the same time. So when I called jeff about mad tv, I called him I go I fucking got mad tv and he goes I got snl. I trumped you and he hung up on me Which burned Yeah, because he still won. Yeah, right. We both had good news, but yeah So um, so still so he would come in a test. So he was he left for the season. Yeah, and he was coming back into town So we had a little bit of money because I was featuring and he was featuring So when he was coming into town, I go, you know, let's get a hotel room. You and I

And get jeff here and we'll get some women And we had some money some prostitutes Mm-hmm get a go to the holiday and it was a holiday and it was yeah, it was a house of travel lodge It was a travel lodge With a hot tub with a hot tub that plays a very big part in the story By the way, because it gets a little weird. Okay So, um jeff flies into town and we pick up what was the paper la weekly? Well, yeah, well, they have you know, they have all those weird weird ones

You can just grab but they're they're laying in front of the newspaper places because it was no internet really no really back then So no the way you would get off back then was in Street corners you would have newspaper those boxes But in those would be these magazines or papers that have thousands of like numbers. Yeah You know, you know, you know a good time come So we We're in this travel lodge It's two in the morning and we're trying to call

All you know, I mean these numbers and no one's coming So we finally get this mexican girl, but she's taken a long time. So We all three decided to go to the hot tub in this travel lodge. Yeah, so we completely naked And we sent indian style. I remember yeah in this hot tub and I remember going This is gay Right. I think I must have said that Okay, this is gay. This is all right. We have different you remember saying that have different memories, but no, no Why don't we do this correct me?

Well, you're right that that that if that were happened, that would be gay Right, but you don't see that you don't remember us being in the bath. The lady hot tub first. No, that's absolutely wrong Okay, it was absolutely wrong because I the reason why we went in the bathtub in the first place right was because we had to wait We're waiting for her to we think for hours. We were getting ready. We were getting while you watch your shit out Yeah, we had the water running right. We're like, we're gonna get naked eventually. Right. Why don't we go right? I refuse Uh-huh to your break because I think that that it's true. What's that in the story? I think that my version is true that we went to the bathtub. I can't argue with you Thank you because it's all it's all fuzzy. I think you know, there's a couple you blocked it up

Honestly, there's spots. I remember and why we're probably blocked out Because it's horrible. I had a great time. No, you didn't it was horrifying I mean, no, no, I love it now because we have this why we have the story. Yeah, so then I wasn't horrible I mean, well, it was self go ahead. Wait, wait, wait. I found out about mankind. What's mankind about humans? Oh, I thought you meant the wrestler He shows up. That's what we did. We called man No, I mean what I what I realized is how selfish one can get And the depravity the depravity and selfish is good

So we show up and the door she'll show up. We're in the bathtub the door the knock whatever we get out I answer the door and there is first of all a woman that's borderline dwarf That's right. Yeah, like five foot four nine like borderline. Do you and she doesn't say hello? her first line out the door is I'm not gonna fuck you just not When it comes to a prostitute, that's not that's not a hopeful first one. That's the last thing

Right. Yeah, but yeah, so then we go. What do you what do you do and he goes she goes? I could dance and you guys can jerk off And we go, all right So that's what we did. Yeah, that's what we did. So I don't know who's idea. Go ahead Yes, can you let me finish this story now? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I want to finish the whole story I want to finish the whole story and then you correct me. I'll just sit here. You want to take notes No, no, you got you got mental. Okay, so So somebody's idea was let's lay on a full-size

bed Right like sardines On your bellies or on your back, okay Like sardines on our back, right? Right, so imagine us three Completely naked like sardines. You guys are wet Right, right. We're wet from the hot dog, right? And we're wet, right, right and and then we're like, we don't know how it's gonna go

Because we don't know what to do because we don't we've never been we didn't know what was going on Yeah, yeah, so I guess it was Jeff or somebody that said all right now You come up on the bed And you dance naked above us. Yes, right? Yes. So imagine three, you know, not fully sized human beings, but I mean on a full-sized bed. Come on, right? It's tight. We're touching show arms Oh, yeah, right. We're touching arms like and she doesn't You got a weird pace You're not on beat, dude

Yeah, because I do rabbit stroke Anyway, then this poor girl has to imagine right three guys full-sized bed, right on our back She has to find the gaps in between our bodies so she can get a foothold Right because you know what I mean? It's on a bed or else you'd be dancing on your belly on our belly So she has to find a little hole Right right and so it becomes like this You know a rock climbing kind of a thing, right where she's trying to figure out how to get to the top now now

We can't get hard or get a rhythm because of the shoulder thing. So jeff does something That was so selfish. I can't even he grabs her wrist And tells her to stay there Above him. Oh, yeah, right? It's selfish beyond beyond Yeah, okay It's like you got hurt all over again. Yeah You're bringing back parts that are making me mad again. Yeah

So now I don't know if this next part the last part is And I'm really trying to be honest with my comedy heart. Yeah. Yeah, because But this is where I think this is what happened You and I looked at each other. So we kind of got up looked at each other stood up stood up Went to the foot of the bed. Yes, right. Yeah, we started drinking off. Yes standing, right? And we came on his legs at the same time And then he never knew but I told you to do. Oh, you told me to the yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you looked at me

I was mad at right right right right right right for taking over Like he just look he got in the zone He's like, fuck you. Thank god. Thank god. Yeah, he's like this is mine I didn't imagine it. So you were giving him stage direction while you were still jerking. Well, I was angry because it's red face I imagined this red face. We were talking about Jeff, right? And he looked at me. He goes come on his legs. Yeah That's what I said, right? Yeah, to me. But why and I went oh, this guy from the south is really for real Like he wants to play league games, right? Yeah And we came on his legs. We never told him and I don't think he knows. Did he know to this day? He doesn't know. I told him

You have told him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he has a version of this I mean, this is all very good. This is all how I how I remember it now that you're bringing them back because I did block out Some shit. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I forgot about her stepping over us. That's true. I remember we had to make space Yeah, yeah, we need to remember I remember uh, the hot tub. I remember lining up I'm sardines And jeff making me upset that he's taking over the the the situation He's now no longer saying this is all of us. This one's mine. You guys figure out your own shit

And it was like we were like All right, and then we got up and I'm we start going. Yeah, and I looked at you. I said I'm gonna come on his leg You like Yeah, and we did. Oh my god, it's coming to me And I don't know in the moment he knew and I was afraid to tell him Right, we got one on him. We'll tell him later what we did. No, because maybe he has a rage Yeah, yeah, yeah, right and you and you know and jeff

And you're a great guy. You're super talented. Whatever. All right, you're one of the funniest guys one of the funniest guys on or in terms of like skill set Impressions. Yes. Yes. Yes. Characters. Yes. Yes. Look wise. Yes. Everything He has everything jeff was on he couldn't be couldn't be followed Well part of the leg specifically because I feel like below kneecap is more forgivable But if it's on the thigh, that's a little I was going for inner thigh Um, yes, he's got big ass legs too. So oh, they're not even big He has I'm not talking just white or log freckly piece of shit legs

But they're thick. I guess thick. Yeah. Yeah. So I was going for that. Yeah, me too. Probably got calf Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, he probably got more sweat Yeah, and anger sweat than more calm Right because I was just like, yeah, so angry. It could have been blood Oh, yeah, yeah, and yours doesn't have any propulsion. It's no propulsion. It's a seat down. We're talking 2001-2002. Oh, we had propulsion then? Or maybe like I was jerking and like a shining thing was happening with like the elevator door. It was like blood

That's what I imagined. Yeah, but I remember all of that happening and after that I don't remember what how it ended. I know we ended up just paying her and she left Well, Danny's probably or We eat we You probably went out and bought a bunch of food from yeah, we went with the green bloods. I don't know. Yeah Uh, but yeah, all but it's funny. That was before you got last comic stand. Yeah way before Before I got the dodge commercials. It's incredible. It's the funny how people before I did anything That's what I tell opener my openers. Yeah

I sit them down. I go you don't think Right now because you and all your friends Are super poor. Mm-hmm. You guys, you know, but you're all one day Going to be in a different situation That's true and it it and everyone pulls each other up. Mm-hmm, right? So in our generation of guys Yeah, especially at the store or whatever in that area. We did pull each other up. Yeah So that's cool. And and you were so nice to me You and Jeff because of you guys that I got in the comedy store. Yeah, I'm only nice to people

who are super funny and that's The shallow part of It's easier to be nice if we actually think you're funny. Yeah, I mean, but also you can't open yourself up. Yeah To everybody. Yeah, right. I mean When Zach Galvanakis and Brody Stevens, right? We're friends, you know, Zach knew and we all know how funny Brody is. I mean, so don't know it doesn't matter what Zach's a huge movie star and Brody at the time was just, you know, a warm-up guy, right? Right, but still Zach did everything for Brody and vice versa and they were best friends and it has nothing to do with

Classism or money has to do with levels of respect and talent. That's what I I don't care if you have a Dime, yeah, I go up to Rick Ingram all the time and go dude, you're one of the funniest guys here. Yes I say that to him easily once a week Just to let him know because he doesn't financially show where he's got a daughter He's struggling week to week to eat. Yeah, but that dude is legitimately funny. No one should. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and when I broke into commercials like I when I got my you had already done Lots of commercials. I know you had already been flown out to japan. I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah some worldwide thing Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was like, you know, I'm just trying to get the commercials and you said, dude, you got a look

You have a look, you know, you got that weird tiny mouth and you guys like You're like it was true. Yeah, I'm like, you know, I do need that I'll go beat that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, and I remember one time If you were a woman in fashion, dude, if you're a woman, you would have the tightest pussy Look at that mouth. Oh, oh my god. Look at this. I have a tiny mouth and no lips Part of the reason why I grew the beard was so people would know where the noise is coming Of the hay The first time I kissed a girl gave her a paper

What if you took my mouth and put it on your face or if I had your eyes Yeah, like the tiny eyes and a tiny mouth. Oh, that would be fun. Unforgivable. The lord jesus If I had a tiny mouth too, yeah Yeah, and no lips like you, right? Someone photoshopped the hell out of me and then I had Michael Jackson's nose Imagine Michael Jackson's nose, right? We would be in a zoo. Yeah, my eyes, your mouth, right? Freak. Well, we would be multi-millionaires. Yeah, we would be. People would line up to see us Pick a dollar at a fair Yeah, but yeah, no, you remember one time I came in that I had a

Uh, I didn't know that bubblegump shrimp was a uh, uh, a franchise Wait, what are you talking about? Wait, all I knew was I love the movie Wait, you I I thought the same thing Okay, wait, so here's what I thought coming from the Philippines I thought that the movie made the bubblegump me too. It's not that I still think that's in the day That's not the case. That's not the case. No, the case is this Okay, bubblegump, right? Was what is the it's it's been there since the 20s

1920s No bubblegump has been around since maybe even before that but in That it was like the one the first shrimping You know what I mean? Okay companies and that and the the movie definitely stole not stole, but you know The jfk stuff with the nike and they changed it a bit. That's what they did with the bubblegump They did it with nike. They did it with nike. They did it with a lot of historical things where he was John where they put forcegump with john nixon not john nixon um richard nixon stuff like that But you inspired me like I I loved your side. I lied just now the whole thing just now. Yeah. Yeah, he totally lied. I'm looking it up

How did you do? This is why bobby lee is a good He's a master. We're right. Yeah, you're right 1995 big hair mount made the restaurant based on the film Okay, okay, I believe I fucking started believing. I'm like, I'm not looking up the wrong bubblegump So I liked your fashion like yeah, yeah, I didn't shop at thrift stores or Goodwill's until I met you And I thought that looks cool. That's the cool. That's the cool thing. I want to be cool like bobby You know what? I bought wristbands, dude. That's right. You know who I've stole the wristbands for a man Ari Shafir, uh-huh. I had I walked corduroyed pants from a thrift store

Yeah, I got the t-shirts like that the ones that had crazy logos and stuff that you don't think about And then I saw one that said bubblegump on it and I go, oh, I like that one. I like the movie I'll wear that to the comedy You came up to one night. There's lots of people talking blah blah blah and you're like really But you said take that shirt off. Don't wear that shirt, man. You said don't wear that shirt I'm I'm trying to help you John. Don't wear the shirt. And then what did you say? I said Really? And I thought like that's funny. Yeah, I probably shouldn't but I didn't think of it then but did it

It's I remember it it stayed with me for the rest of my life because if you had worn that shirt, right? It doesn't seem why you want to wear these shirts. Yeah is because they are a one of a kind that it's old It's not that's what I'm saying. It's not current franchise. It's making billions of dollars. Yeah, you know So, yeah, you were serious about it, right when most people wear fun shirts like that. I have a Rambo 3 shirt It's ironic. It's just or ironic. Yeah, right. You were literal. It was little. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I was like, okay. He's right. Yeah. He's right. Well, Sebastian. I told you about that story, right? Sebastian comes to the comedy store wearing these Italian shoes You know, this is right when he started making money

But he had these Italian shoes where it was like leather really nice shiny But it was shaped in the front like a ninja shoe What would the toe the top of the toe is separate from the rest of the rest of the foot Oh my so he comes in with this thing that number one. I've never seen before or after I've never seen that either. It doesn't exist. All right. All right. And number three I don't think he was cost him thousands of dollars from Italy. Oh boy. So I go If you got as a gift though, and I go

I think you 200 bucks for those right now. Will you give it to me? And he didn't he needed the money I think Are you sure you're gonna buy these with 200 bucks? I go. Yeah, I go. Yeah So he goes, all right, but what am I gonna wear? I had slippers like flip-flops in the car I gave him the flip-flop and I took those shoes And in front of them I threw him in the dumpster Oh my god And how was how did he react to that?

We laughed for probably three hours straight But I I I do that. Yes, I know say that I believe you Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, I think it's two things you were doing you were being funny But you're also like honestly, john, that's I think you're a cool person But that's not a cool shirt and you were trying to be nice to me in a weird way But it's also a dicky thing, but it's okay because I have that too. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we jacked off together You can say things like it's like nom. It's like serving a nom together as that has that kind of like we went to the mud in the blood Right. Vibed to it, right? Like you weren't there man. Yeah, you remember?

He came on his leg. Yeah fucking travel line 2001 forever Hey, guys, that was awesome. That's insane. Can I tell you funny sebastian when we're back since we just of course Um before I remember sitting back in the comedy store before it was sold out every night watching sebastian play for I don't know 10 people as if it was a packed house. I know like he was acting all the things out It's a little bizarre, but but he was killing me. I was laughing my ass off all all of us were um And I was a fan then I saw him get on uh vince fawn's wild west comedy thing or whatever right and uh

He was doing well there and then he came to the comedy store. We're hanging out in the park a lot He knows I like beer sebastian. I don't think drinks. Yeah, he doesn't um, but he knows I do and so he came up to me And this is so it's very mob like yeah, you know He can't and he never made eye contact like he'd walk up to me like uh Hit you on you look beer, right I go Yeah, hey sebastian. Yeah, chef, you know, I like beer. I love beer. Yeah Follow me

Oh my god, I'm like, uh, so dead. I'm like, okay. Where are we going, man? And I'll follow him to the trunk of his car. He just yeah It goes up and he just goes go ahead take it Take the beer It was all this beer they got for free from the wild west comedy thing that he didn't want Wow The trunk of his car. He knew he was going to give it away to somebody right He just came up and he goes go ahead. Was it good beer take it take the beer. It was a good beer

I don't remember. Oh, I drank it Yeah, I think me and freddie soto killed it one night. Yeah the parking lot freddie soto Yeah, that's enough emotional This is it. See you were that yeah, I remember so it's you god came to my apartment. We got We drank to like five in the morning one night. Just me and freddie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were also Oh god that group of guys man. Yeah, dude And it makes me feel it's kind of sad john when you're here because you know when we talk about these stories

And then you know, we we live our lives you get in a relationship you move whatever by house whatever, right? Mm-hmm. You drift apart, you know, we're not you I don't see what the store we go on the road whatever, right? But there is a sadness about how you know when you when you do talk And I think and I think of all the experiences we've had, you know, we are friends. Yes. Yeah, I'm like if you Ever got forbid past. Mm-hmm. It would be a fucking devastating event for me. You'd be sad. I'd be sad. Yeah Yeah, we devastated we went to the mud the blood. I know man, but not just that. I mean everything it's a class Right, we came up at a time together at a certain time when the comedy store was not that great And we all got success within a couple years apart, you know, you Jeff even me and it's like oh

We're proud and happy for each other. Yeah Yeah, you know, no sweetie. Yes, you look at john. Yeah Would you say that him and I Physically are cut from the same cloth cut from the same cloth, right? Yeah. So let me ask you this then sweetie Uh-huh. I'm gonna know I'm gonna let me ask john john when you make love to a hot woman. Yes Are there people out there that go You don't deserve to fuck her because she's so hot. Yes You do 100 you do have people like that. My ex-wife was hot as hell. Yeah, and I got it all the time

Well, so what would they because it because we're going through it right now. Yeah, yeah Right now. Well, no, we got it more when I was younger. No, but yesterday's we're the text from yesterday Oh, some guy wanted to piss you off, right? And it also pisses you off. I bet It pisses me off because they're also saying like, you know, they're insulting your guy Yeah, so it's also insulting my taste in men's taste. It's a lose. But it's it's not even that It's like I want to talk to the guy directly dude. You're right. I don't deserve her and I'm still lucky. I won the lottery I'm an ugly yellow piece of garbage shit I'm a yellow piece of garbage shit and I deserve you know what I deserve maggot pussy

Oh, yeah, I deserve if if I could make a maggot grow into a human size And I take a fucking You know one of those well pocket pussy. What's the difference? It's a shape like a maggot. No, but it's a maggot I'm not gonna be like a real thing to be warmer and better than a pocket pussy. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, John always knows Of course a mag would be warmer Because it was alive. It's alive. Yeah I'm more like pussy. Just because hence hence more like pussy, right John? You should ask everybody what you asked me yesterday. What'd I ask you?

You tried to tell me that necrophilia is probably not a crime. It shouldn't be Yeah, well, it is a crime. I looked at them. Who's the victim? Well, maybe the family members, but if they don't know Well, that's another thing. Yeah, if they don't know it's not a crime. Yeah, what if I it doesn't hurt What can you who does it hurt? What if can I sign a waiver if I die that I'm cool with anyone raping my asshole? Dude, that's so bright. It should be your driver's license. Okay. Kind of like like a like a donor like a doner. Yeah A butthole donor. I'm a butthole donor. Yeah, that's very smart. We're on to something. Yeah, we are

I want to do that to save humanity. Yeah. Yeah, think of all the the graves that don't have to be dug up now Because I said it's cool, you know, right Oh, I see what you're saying. Wait. No, you pay for the funeral. Do you do what you want? No, you and I okay if you and I were without the family's knowledge But then there'd have to be a weird health code and disposal of the body that you would have to guarantee you disposed of it correctly That's true. John side. Let's hide business. John. Let's pretend you and I are the new leaders of this free world Yes, and you and I get to develop our own new laws. Okay. Let's approach necrophilia. Oh, I have a great question. Okay, there's a real law Okay, we should we should give a time limit. Mm-hmm

You can't be no fucking no fucking nine-month-old corpse That's just no age limit. You mean no not it means No in terms of death death. Okay. This is my question. Is there statutory necrophilia rate? No, we could do a baby Oh my god That's a good question. If you're gonna fuck a body fuck baby. It's dead. It doesn't matter if it's dead. It's dead, right? I don't know. Maybe save a lot of uh, you think that goes against you in heaven Maybe if they know that maybe that goes against you in heaven You're up there and you're in there and the and what is the same nick?

What it was say paul who's the guy with the list saint and you won't let you through Whatever the guy that will let you Let's go Well, you know, you guys don't have to make fun of me. I was gonna find a point and now I can't even make the funny point No, what is I'm sorry, bobby. Please continue I don't even know what the point was It's christmas something for christian what the point looks at your past and said not only did you fuck a dead body? Yeah, but it was a baby. You think that goes against you is what I'm saying. I think so

All right, no baby. That's not it's disgusting. It is disgusting. Uh, I don't know. Let's start with What you were saying the age of the death of the corpse. Yeah, exactly. Thank you, baby That's she's the one that diverted the age. It's fine, but that's a good quite. So yeah, the whole time one time two days It should be a two-day limit. No, no, no, you have to you can't fuck rigor mortis That's the problem because then you'd be fucking the it wouldn't feel as good So I'm imagining you want to wait for rigor mortis to kind of you know settle down. Yeah, yeah, yeah So either before or after rigor mortis. Yeah before or after we might have to cut this whole thing out But I have another idea that I might have to cut it out. I'll just put this as a no, but um, anybody else getting hard

Oh, he's coming out of my leg Yeah, yeah, um, is it just cut this part out because I'm throwing I'm keeping it. We're keeping it. Is there any way to if a woman dies. Uh-huh. Is there any way you could put You mean blood thing here, but switch out the blood keep it keep it warm. Keep it warm for a while Could you do that? Yeah, keep it warm. Well, I think that exists now With someone's brain dead in a coma. Oh, that's happened where guys have raped The the the patients who are in a coma and she's got pregnant and had a baby. Mm-hmm. I saw that that should happen So, yeah, that is illegal. So to answer your question. Yeah, you know what? Yeah, let's stop with this comedy bullshit

You're right. It should be illegal It's gross I just came to the I just came the right now if I just thought about it for real I think it might be too gross that's your conclusion. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's definitely gross I think that it's I think if you get the if you get the consent of family members And if you get my consent, yeah, right? I'm dead. Yeah. Yeah, right my consent. You get callila's consent driver's life

My mom's consent because my dad died and my brother's consent. I think it'd be cool But other than that, I wouldn't know I wouldn't care. But yeah, that's that's a weird thing to think that family has ownership of an adult body Right, maybe maybe in the waiver. Yeah It has to be a non-disclosure agreement sort of thing built in where it's like you can do it But you can't ever tell my family. I let you do this because it I have a funny idea about how like what if my family didn't want me to sign the waiver But I did it. I went to the dmv and I did it right at the dmv Right. So, you know, and they have that law like, you know, you have to fuck the body within the net

For the first 48 hours or whatever. And so then when they actually open up the casket what they see, right? This is a gigantic hole Your face I've been fucked so many times and it's transformed the body, you know Oh, oh, I feel like terminator two. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like It's fantastic It's fun and loose and fun wait since we're on this more ideas. Can I bring up another one quick? Yeah Yeah, I don't and I don't know the law on this. Yeah, let's talk about why I'm curious. Yeah. Are you fact-checking things? I'm just curious. We are the run this country. You and I

I feel good about it. Let's do it. Tell me about it. All right, um Imagine when we're talking we're the west wing him and I Vice president president, right? And we're this right here is the table. Let's Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, and we have an agenda. There's AIDS. You know, we're walking and we have an agenda It's this was to tell me tell me vice president John Reeve. What are some of your ideas? I gotta be president Uh, mr. President. I have another issue. I'd like to bring up um the age of consent Uh, well

What it's 18. Yeah. Yeah, it's 18. Yeah, uh different states. Maybe 17 right whatever. Yeah But if you are a mentally challenged person Who I'm sweating thinks like Let's say you got a 32 year old female who's mentally challenged in her head. She's 10. Yeah, can you is there? What's the law? What's the law? She's her body's 32 years old. Yeah, but in her I go I I I've always and I might be wrong. Why are you really sweating? I'm sweating. I am. Why are you sweating? I don't know why I am but I am

Because I'm pretending that I'm actually the president and I have these are real law, right, right We're putting into play. Yeah. Yeah. He's in character. I got it. Yeah. Yeah. So what are you proposing again? I just want to know what what's the current law? The current law. I have a question. Vice president. Yeah, what do we what's where do you stand on this? I got Ken, I think I you know, I've never really complained about 18, dude So it's as an 18 year old female who thinks like a 10 year old. Yeah, I think you're about to have my think was always been I always went by body But I've been I'll be open to develop mine too

Right. So um, but as as if right now we fuck the body Oh, that's true. Yeah, we do fuck the body and it's 30 if it's a 32 a body. It's a 32 a person See, that's a really good point. No age is so arbitrary Right, right. Yeah. No, what about the opposite of that? What if you've got someone with uh, no, never mind I got nothing. That's our kelly's argument. Yeah, that's exactly the opposite is his argument. Yeah. Yeah, let's come up with some other laws then Okay. Okay. Well, let's see here Um, we we'll stick with sex. We're gonna move on to something Yeah

Because of your accent. Yeah And I want to ask a question if that's okay Because of your accent and where you're from. Yes Are you a republican? I'm nothing I'm an independent registered independent. That's you know, I'm so I'm like when it comes to Uh money fiscally. Yeah conservative me too Uh, uh when it comes to uh, yes pretty pretty open to that pretty liberal there. Yeah. Yeah Well, you know, it's you're a libertarian like George. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, you're a libertarian essentially. Yeah, but um

I can't and I you know, we're not gonna we don't go to the politics. We don't we we don't know enough We don't I don't know enough you that's what we don't that's what we don't Which is why I don't really talk about it because I don't like to give an educated I mean, I'd rather give you an educated opinion and I don't have that when it comes to politics I don't have all the facts and I don't want to get up there in a high horse and say well Here's how it should be and I'm like, oh, I got that wrong. Here's why I bring it up Yeah, the reason why I bring it up is because there is You know, you look at my brother steve for instance, right? My brother steve

thinks that if texans Right are all cowboy hats and wrangler jeans and they have spurs. He doesn't Realize he thinks that spurs. Yeah, he that's yes that if you go to texas. Oh, no, there's like really Everyone looks it's everything here. Yeah The same restaurants and everything almost exact language everything Right. Yes, but there are people that think that like, you know people with southern accents think the southern answer They're from the stakes that maybe that they are a trump supporter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Just just based on just the accent where you're from and thing and I just want to say that, you know, I don't care if you are or not

Right, right. I'd be I love you regardless. Yeah, because I know how you feel about me I know how you feel about gay people. Right. I know how you feel about people's rights and whatnot And there's there's nothing oppressive about how you feel about the world. Yeah. Yeah, right? You're a good dude I'm being real. You're a good guy. Thank you. I really do believe that I am one of the best guys Like like boys, I agree. I agree with you about me. Yeah, but you where do you live now? I live in hickory, north carolina move back My dad had a stroke a year ago So I've been I was out here. I got here in 2000. I was here 18 years

and then You know, like I said earlier careers always done this have peaks and valleys and lows and highs and I Let's get to that point where I actually miss my family I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my brother I miss everybody and I haven't been there in 18 years. I missed out a lot of shit So when I would go home and visit it would be for christmas or thanksgiving in a couple of days and it would you know, it's not the same and LA was getting more and more crowded and more and more shitty

Uh, my property value went up. I had a townhouse in studio city So I thought let me put this on the market and see what happens and it was like bam. I'm like, oh, that's good Yeah, good. It's a sign. I'm out And I do nothing has changed for me. I still do the road I'm doing more shit in hickory that I've done out here in about five years Because I have time and people who want to help for for no other reason than they'd like to help me and they're my friend You know, um, I don't have to pull favors. It's different. You know out here. It's like You know, we all have business managers agents and all this stuff and lawyers and you say, oh, let's do this thing

Like well, let me check my calendar I don't know if I can do that because I did this thing and it's like it's hard to get anything done It's funny that you say that because I was in san antonio and um, The locals there right they drive me around. They'll pick me up at You know what I mean? noon Right to take me anywhere. There's just a different kind of energy

When it comes to different towns like these people and I bet you these kids they like or these people that grew up with you Fuck john is also you've been on television. That was boggled. They're fucking friends and in their heads are like Yeah, we don't even we just want to be a part of it. It's exciting. Yes, right and that's cool. Yes. Yes, it is So, um, I'm loving it, you know, I'm actually living in the house I grew up in right now Everything you're seeing is gonna be like all crying my dad is in a skilled nursing facility is paralyzed on his left side Which is but it's real close to our house and I'm mom my mom doesn't you know, she's got glaucoma She has brittle bones. She doesn't really know how to do a lot of stuff

You know, she's not computer savvy So I'm having to wrangle all the medical bills all this stuff So I went home to do that And I'm actually happier now that I've been in a long time. Oh my god And I'm so happy that I had the ability To do that. You know what I mean john? I want to say this. Um, my dad died a month ago. He had a stroke 10 years ago, okay and um

He had a major stroke, you know, and then he kept having him And um, he struggled for 10 years I saw him maybe five times in that 10 years and um, maybe six times and um and now Every single moment of my life is regret of not

spending more time with him Yeah And by you doing this right now, it really just oh, it's the it's the only I'm telling you right now, dude It's the only move. Yeah. Secondly, this business has changed. It's changed to the point where you don't necessarily really have to be here anymore You know, I mean, I'm I'm I have a couple of shows that I I have a and that Netflix cartoon that they Asked me to do and then I'm I pitched a thing that might happen

But my point is is that I think I could have done that if I lived in phoenix or yeah Yeah, Ohio and you can do this anywhere anywhere. Um, but the problem is you can't get the best guests No, that's true Well, I have a podcast now called fried It's on all things comedy network best and I do it in hickory now And I it was me and sarah tiana and we would get guests. Uh, we had brad pazy on the very first episode That's huge. Yeah, um That was huge. I know he is the commercial that I met him. Yeah, he's a comedian from commercials

Yeah But yeah, so but now that I'm back home I'm pulling from my friends, you know, I want to I want to do a podcast that doesn't need guests I want you to fall in love with the people I got in the room guys. I went to high school with There's a guy named mark hunt who he's down on his luck. He doesn't have a lot. He got divorced He shops at a goodwill not ironically, but he needs to that's how he saves money And his last name is hunt. So we have a segment called goodwill hunting and he go we go to goodwill together I buy him a gift. He buys me a gift. We don't know what it is. We exchange it on the show

And we explain why we got it. That's so sweet. Yeah, and I got a guy named shown says her does like crazy weird in small town stories I got a you'll love this one, Bobby I do a one called john's journal and when I was in high school my junior and senior year. I kept a high school journal and not because I was I wanted to but the teacher made everybody in the class right for 10 minutes before class and then she took it and gave it back to So the year forgot all about it went home. I'm moving back into my old room. I'm moving shit around. I find all these journals I'm like, holy shit. What was I thinking when I was a 17 year old me, you know, and I wrote a lot of poetry I forgot all about this shit

But I didn't finish them because I had to put the pencil down because the time had run out So what I do now is I read from my high school journal and I tell the listeners to to finish it And the coolest or funniest one is who won, you know wins and we read it on the show So john's journal Small town news good will hunting and this, you know, whoever I can get on the phone sometimes, you know, I want you to come on I'll call you. No, no, no, no, no. No, I you know, I'm gonna take you one step further. I'm being real right now, man I'm getting really emotional. I don't know why You are

We both went into a lot of you say cries, but this is real. We have we're having dad stuff, dude. Yeah That's cool. I'll take you one step further. Um, I'll go I'll go to I'll go to hickory. We I'll spend a week in there and we'll do block the log All right, you take me to some barbecue restaurants. I'll do a fucking pot pot. We'll do your podcast I would love to show you, you know, I mean, but I'm being real. I want to do that for sure This is you don't make me cry now, but if you cry don't I'm not I'm please don't because I have this fucking gook in back of me Are you guys gonna invite jeff richards? Yes. Oh jeff's invited. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, I also did a pilot while I was there for all things comedy tv pilot called hickory live the hickory live show It's a scaled down tonight show. Oh cool. I want to be there I want you on when that when I want to be the guest on your show. You're gonna be the first guest I gotta be we're doing it a place called the silver bullet. Oh, I'm blowing. Have you seen Roadhouse the movie. Of course you have. Fuck Patrick Swayze. I apologize. I apologize for asking You remember the double Sam Elliott. Yeah, me. Oh, fuck you. I get all the sleep. I need what I'm dead. Yeah, man So that guy We shoot in this place that looks like the double deuce

Uh from roadhouse. I know what it is. Yeah, I'm telling the other people who might not know. I know, you know I'm talking to the camera now I apologize for insulting you. Um, please be the first guy. I'm kidding. I know I know, but I'm going with it I'm saying I'm just sending you right now. I was just kidding, man. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Yes, and I ain't Anyway, but I want to go I want to go and um, I uh, I uh You know this podcast has been This I here's here's what no this specific one You know, it gives me

A reassurance that When we have people on that I have history on Is so much easier Mm-hmm like this Do you do not feel that we didn't know how long you'd be in town? But as soon as Mike Bertolina said hey, john reaps in town. He was like, yes We got to get him get him now now now. Yeah. Thank you for doing. Oh, come on. You're mine. No, this is this is your note This is a miracle. Yeah, I watch I sit here and watch you guys your youtube clips. John. I'm not I'm not

I really want I want to I want to get back into Living a life and and also working on This project tiger belly. So I really want to exchange with George Get information so that he could set it up Because if you don't go through him, I'm never gonna go But if it's set up I got a number tiger belly I got this really set it up Honestly and for everyone else listening to this it has a comedian friend that doesn't always respond

Sometimes, you know, you got to do it that way because we'll take it. Well, seriously I get people hitting me up on facebook Messenger all the time. I got like thousands of people. I don't know Making requests and I don't know these people, but if somehow they get my manager's info, right or whatever I got Oh, this one's real. This one's wait. Is there is there a club in Comedy club in hickory charlotte's the closest one charlotte's about 45 minutes away comedy zone. Yeah, I play there. You play there Yeah, yeah, I love that guy. What's his name? Um, uh, you talking about uh, my call. Oh my god, I love that guy the fucking mayor of charlotte that dude that dude drove me one time

Three hours into the woods Because I had to do his club and I had to do it some other weird gig He's lump something else on right. So we're in the woods in the south with this like gigantic Hillbilly southern guy, you know, you know, he's a he's a limp for some reason, right? Yes, he limps. Yeah, he's got a bad knee. He was a catcher But yeah, he talks so fast. Sometimes I can't understand a word he said. Yeah, but so you You went through my call. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so charlotte do charlotte get that on your schedule at some point I will make sure that that's the way to do it. I come to hickory for like a day. That's the way to do it

Yeah, yeah, that's the way to do it. It's not gonna cost you anything. You know, this will be lumped into your press But what I was saying this is that instead of even doing that Can we do just one night? Mm-hmm off night in charlotte and you and I both co-headline. Yes That's 100% and we split the money 50 50 done Easy, we'll do that then. Yeah Oh my god, at the end of our how long we got what time we're over an hour. That's amazing I want you to say in the world. Yeah

At the end of our show we do this this last segment we do. Okay Are we doing it now? Yeah, but you'll know we're wrapping up. Let me know you'll know when we're doing when we do it That's good. This is right now. I don't know the southern people I I don't know right. I mean we We we we we we see them in the movies. We see them on tv It's so different. It's different when I'm sitting across from you, isn't it? Yeah, is he talking about me? Yeah, they don't you tell me what he said. They don't fuck their cousins like they say in the fucking stories

stories They have electricity like in the stories They have everything their beans out there refried that refried but they have boston bake or where the bake ones Uh-huh. Their barbeque is the best. Go ahead. Let's do it. We do a thing called unhelpful advice So we do people email us questions and we answer them. Go ahead. Got it Unhelpful advice with barbie collider at John reap. Hey sexy flat cute collide big pink dong and king slip slip I'm a huge fan. I just wanted to know how to convince my girl to let me eat her ass I've been dating for almost four years and she only let me do it once when we're both shit-faced

I always ask and get shut down because she thinks it's way too gross. What do I do? Mr. Reap. Oh, thank you. Well, there's a couple things you can do one He isn't ready. I love it. Yeah, this is easy. Um, I love it already. Go get her drunk more often Um, because she seems to be loosening up. He said it only when she's drunk. So get her drunk more often. Right, right Secondly, don't you know, you gotta you gotta do it right out the shower If she feels un-fresh down there, she's gonna be like no because she'll be embarrassed if there's an odor So get it right out the shower get her drunk and don't ask

just do it Okay, so that's called force Some people call force some people call force. I mean if you're already down there Yeah, if you're already down there and it just so happens that you but if you know, she doesn't like it It's force if you're already down there eating her pussy Oh, it's their neighbors and you go like That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So a lot of you But are you an ass man yourself? I've done it. Yeah. No, but I'm an ass man. Yes. You're an ass man

Yes, I am. You see you like eating women's ass holes ass man doesn't mean you eat ass I thought that was I was uh misled by the question. Yeah I like asses. You like you like getting your ass eaten. No. No. No. No. What? What do you think? I've had that done. Sure No, oh Okay, no, no, no, stop stop stop stop stop But that question You know ass man. Are you an ass man? Are you a leg man? It's like saying it's like saying to somebody you like food Right, like everyone likes ass. I would assume yeah ass is a part of the people say that

Are you a tit guy or you're an ass guy, you know, some guys are attracted to a round But some guys like big boobs when you say ass man, that's what you're not a tit guy. You're not a boob guy You're an ass. You're a leg guy. I don't know somebody. I don't know anybody that's not an ass man though Like I've never seen anybody go, you know, I know him. I know people like that. Oh, you do. I think they're stupid I go, why would you do that? All the goods are down here. Why right? Right? But this this is whatever this is this is secondary. This is icing on the cake. It's fine. Yes or no I could take it or leave it my thing is um, I'm not an ass guy And um, I believe that

That is a portal to BL's above The butthole is the portal to BL's above. It's a portal to black magic It's a portal to voodoo voodoo do voodoo do That's what it is voodoo do. It's a it's what he yells a butt. Yeah, you don't want to go down there. Yes

It's nasty. Write that down. That's a shirt voodoo voodoo. It's it's you know, you could probably Catch something too, you know, that I think there's more diseases living in there But let's look at it in a I don't know just in a just an animalistic kind of biological way. It's our bot I mean, you know, you're down there. You just want it, man You just you're talking you can't control it If it takes over You're like, I'm already down here eating your that pussy I got damn. I want to get that butthole too

Let's do it You know, I'm matching a girl. I know what you're saying that I imagine. I'm literally imagining You kissing the taint going through the asshole saying it and I just want to tell you what my initial response. That is um, no I don't like it at all. Really. We've just never just been taken over by the instinct All right cut Someone doesn't enjoy sex I do

I just don't like fucking uh, you know, shit Right. No, I get it. I don't like poo. And when I think about it later, it is just my bad I don't like poo In my mouth. Yeah, no, I'm not saying that It's that I can't even funny. It's boo-doo and taboo Oh, what's a boo-doo? Yeah. Anyway, anyway, um, I'm gonna say this you've had your ass eaten He's not a fan. Yeah, I don't like it either. Why did you say you do? Oh, no, I've had girls do it and get down there And I'm like, yeah, well, I don't need that because you're gonna want to kiss me

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not I don't know why um, I'm not I'm not just not like that Which is really weird because he's a fan of poo Well, you just say you weren't no, he's a fan of poo. That that is just all of him lying to me. He loves poo He loves smelling it poo Your own poo or other people's other people's everyone's poo. Oh, yeah, if I see you're gonna scat stuff, huh? Yeah, no, if I see poodle freshly poo He has to smell it

Really when you get down on your hands and knees, but you know what? I always no, I don't do that I I do but I I also listen to I also smell gas like I'm a pumping gas of same. Oh, I'll take a whiff of the I like that I do like that. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Anyway, um, this podcast has been really good It's might been my favorite ones in a while. I think our most high brow one yet For sure. That's the things that we can have sex with and in smell But that was a pleasure and I really want to book the thing and do the whole thing I really am very grateful that you came

Um, I really love you from the bottom of my heart. I love you guys do love him. Yes I love all you guys. I'm a fan. You don't even know before I walked in here. I've seen all of you Harold and kumar man. Love you. Thank you. Harold and kumar too. Don't make me come down there whip your cyclops ass Well, you and Harold You were in the second one. Yeah Guantanamo Bay. That was in the first and the third one. I know we never did the two No one Symmetry Look at this

Mud the blood and the films. This is great. Um, can I promote my youtube? So, uh, I'm also on youtube If you go to youtube.com slash john reap j o n R e e p john reap. I got the fried podcast on there lots of stand up Weird shit. He's also um a part of the all things comedy umbrella. So he's a part of the family. I'm so Just very stoked about just this whole Thing today. That was fun. And um I just I just wanted to say also that um

You are missed because you you you notice when you're not around You know, it's like when I see somebody I could feel sometimes I haven't seen somebody in a while I feel their loss like sometimes when I see dove david off. There's a little bit of like, oh, yeah I don't see him as often right when we used to be around all the time Um, and now nothing. So um, but it's like really I feel it But um, I'd like to see you again and um, I'm at the store Wednesday night I'm gonna come to the comedy store Wednesday. I'm gonna be there Wednesday, too And I'll hold you this weekend as well. Oh, wow. If you're in san diego this era tonight, right? Yes tonight

Yeah, tonight. So I'll be lajoya. Come to lajoya. Go come dude. He's the best. Please come give him a round of applause Thank you so much. Everybody tiger belly Now what are your handles? Uh, everything is at j o n r e e p. There you go. That's twitter. That's instagram. That's facebook. That's Pinterest Go follow john reap everyone. We'll be right back with some house keeping. Hey guys What a fun podcast if you want to see the slept king live You can bobby will be in arlington, virginia, november 1st through 2nd

Brea california, november 22nd through 24th and at brea california that we some of us might actually be there You're gonna be there. I might be there. George may be there. Well, john. Nah, maybe be there. John. Nah, you coming to brea? Oh, he said sure guys you get to me the john. Nah If you guys go to brea california And who knows you also might have some mercy throughout you guys san francisco california december 12 through 14th Uh, calusa california december 21st and san diego california december 27 through 31st Of course at the american comedy club Go to bobby the live for those tickets and grab them before they are gone and to get your question on tiger belly

By you can get your question on tiger belly by emailing us advice on health at gmail.com We're looking for fun interesting unusual non-typical problems And we need your help as much as you want ours. That's advice unhelpful at gmail.com And if you like to send us any packages, you can do that at our mailing address at where george kimmel 1626 north will Keep going. You got it. I'm out of it now. Well, I tried guys. I tried because I don't know it either That is why I've taken a walk. Anyways, uh, you can find it on our instagram tiger belly

It's also in all the descriptions all the descriptions. Uh, you can mail your uh gifts to bobby or callila over there All right guys, if you guys see these we have shirts right here We have our blue our baby blue, uh remix shirt walking me walking down the street. We also have our navy blue me walking down the street Short tee remix as well. These are exclusive colors and we also have another item as well It is a black hoodie with a very cool piece of art that we will be revealing on social media next week And you're probably wondering, whoa, where can I get all this merch? Well, you can get it at the tiger belly dot com But it's not up right now

Make sure you follow us on instagram, uh and all our social media to find out the exact date I will see if you are listening on today this wednesday You get an exclusive which is it comes out next week when who knows just follow Uh, also, uh, george, where can we follow you? George underscore kemmel. John. Now, where can we follow you? John nana and also you can follow everything callila clam decay and everything bobby lee at bobby lee Or uh at bobby lee live dot com and honest instagram at bobby lee live everyone. We love you Hey

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