TigerBelly - Ep 219: Esther Povitsky and The Fake Nail

Episode Date: November 6, 2019

Bobo makes the call to Al. Khaloko is Giuliani. Esther's mom finds a video. We talk Bobby's special, starting anew, Bobby's special, Cort McCown's favorite story, and Bobby's special.  Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Let's just clap let's just get you know be good get the energy. Let's get the energy up because the energy is low So we're starting with the meditation. No, let's now all let's start go ahead five four three two where's my earphone line? I've never seen you without them it threw me off Do I need mine? You don't have to let me ask you something Am I am I

Am I your father or your agent? No, where I'm What make your own decisions? Oh, yeah, did you say am I your father or your agent or your Asian? You are my I said it wrong Those are the two things words. I say the most Asian agent I just do you guys like your guess to wear the headphones or not? It depends on how comfortable you are with them Well, I'm already uncomfortable because of the haze

Okay, okay, okay, let's start from the top Okay, do I'm gonna put the count I wasn't kidding about the mania guys go go go go Do I'm gonna count down when you put the headphones on okay? Okay, go five four three two. I love you Do you love me? I know you do because my heart Using your heart There are two hearts in one body And when I talk you listen and where there's a connection and I love you. Let's start with a meditation. I'm

One of silence and a prayer Nope start over no, no, no, no No No laughing no breathing. I'm so sorry go five four three go five four don't do it Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for the vegetables and food and nutrients the trees that create oxygen Right the earth the foundation before our feet family love tears Blending souls

Lord thank you for Jesus. Thank you for Moses. Thank you for Snake That little snake in the tree. He's a big star in the movie Because without that's the devil It's not I don't think it was anaconda, but it is a devil. So maybe it was big we that that was so long ago We don't know what kind of snake it was. Mm-hmm. It could have been a rattlesnake But my point is is this um We are here together and we're family. I love everyone in this room. I really do and I

I've had a rebirth a Phoenix I'm a Phoenix and I I feel my dad died was the death of You know and then the rebirth of me. What was it the death of besides just your father? It was the death of my old life And the rebirth of? Yeah, Phoenix Phoenix So let's clap I Also want to say that I went to therapy yesterday for the first time in my whole life. I think what? Let's introduce you we have a beautiful young lady

Who's this beautiful young lady? She's a TV star. Wow Mm-hmm. She look at her comedy star Look at it. Oh, she's like a cat, right? And she is a family friend of ours. I Throughout my whole life. We'll always want to know her. You I will always want you in my life. Thank you, Bobby That means a lot same same. Yeah Good because I love you, you know a lot of these young guys people We'll share mics Okay

Breathe in to me. I don't want to breathe in your mouth a lot of people my brother's bad, you know, um I don't know why why did I come here like this? Yeah, what do I do that? You want to show her love? She saved you She was part of the rebirth. She did save it without her for her. That was bad Before her was really bad You know a mess out of hanging out with young comics till two in the morning. Whoa taking kids like me and Carlos out To breakfast. Whoa What else Esther tell us more about never Bobby was like just a loser

Like did nothing like you couldn't you couldn't count on him. I mean nobody could reach him Unreachable mm-hmm. Just so you just didn't know what you were gonna get. Oh, oh At first it was unfathomable what you're saying But then as you continue to talk, you know, I agree with you. I was a loser You're a mess without her. She really clean life. It's like well, who's that mayor that clean New York? Yeah, Giuliani. Yeah Yeah, she's married Giuliani. You mean Rudy Giuliani is Kalila the one that's on television 24-7

Rudy Giuliani you fucker. That's Trump's lawyer. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot that he was he's bad now, but yeah He did clean up New York. He is like two-faced. Yeah at one point. He was good good and then Trump came along Let's say that she's the Joker. Mm-hmm, and he changed him. Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah, I agree, but she did save me. Yeah okay Okay But I was a homeless sucking dick there I was um

Paying paying mortgage you were fun, but she did everyone knows she did save me and I and I um I love her so fucking much. Wow the way I do. I love her so fucking much and Here's what I want to say about Kalila I'm uncomfortable. Yeah, should we leave her alone? No, no, no, you need to rest. I talked about her yesterday in the thing Therapy. Yeah, then he lot I specifically told him Do not tell your therapist cuz you know like right before you see a therapist for the first time you have paperwork to fill out And I specifically said do not tell her that I'm the one who wrote it out who wrote it because I'm writing in your voice Because he's not gonna do it. He's not gonna. I thought hard to keep that secret between us. This is what happened

Okay, lay it out. Can I tell you what happened? Cuz then it makes me seem psycho to fill out Intimate details that I know about him before he goes into therapy like that's stuff that he should be filling out on his own Mm-hmm. She called she said please do not tell her that it was me who did that that was you your information You're very private information So before I went in she told me not to say that she filled out all the paper In my car I looked in that little rearview mirror And I looked in it like this with just my eyes and I go

Do not Give this information away because it'll ruin everything and I walked in there Jesus. I shook her hand and She goes hi, and I go hi That's how far I got in she goes she did And I go I would have done it but I was so busy my dad and I went in there and she was laughing That's amazing, right? It also gives her the dynamic of us I think if I go in there with any false pretenses and I start lying and Right and spitting a lie. I think that that's not a good way. I didn't need you to lie

I just didn't need you to say anything But he had that burden That's not no, so, you know, I you know, I said that as a joke But what ended up happening was she's like you did you so you have when's the last thing you went to an a meeting? And I said I haven't been in a meeting in two years and she goes she pulls out a paper and she goes Why did you say one year? Oh? Oh, and I go Like that now I have a question because you say that you're busy. That's why she did it

But let's just say a hypothetical like your schedule was cleared for some hypothetical. Yeah, it's exactly that's exactly how it was It was clear. Hey, so you it wasn't clear you would fuck you wasn't clear I'll tell you why it's not clear in your heads and your little beady little heads And I want to be an alpha male would be mean, but you guys have big heads and they're connected in there In there you guys are have IQ's over a hundred. Who's you guys everyone in the room? Oh? He lost his train of thought I did lose my train of thought I know why is that because you're Going through a mania. That's what it is. Is it a coffee thing or like no what it is Is I'll just start talking and I forget what I'm saying. I said that in therapies yesterday, too

What does she say she goes? I know what that is. She goes you She's I didn't really write it down, which I should have but I understood when she was saying about how I have a baseline You know the human beings have a baseline emotional like level right and because of stand-up comedy and because some of my trauma and whatnot, right? I have a threshold for me to feel I have to do Further that's why I watch That's why I take the pills and I masturbate because it's the level of what I Take unisom Which is a sleeping pill that makes me horny and I jerk off to porn and it makes my arousals

So much more deep and I was telling her cuz you're tired. No, that's not because I'm tired I don't use it for being tired. I use it to be horny But what why does a sleeping pill make you horny? That's the miracle of life and that's what I went to the CVS one day many many years ago, and I took a little too extra And my dick started feeling very tingly and wonderful And I put on some porn. I think it was reality Kings or old J Is this like a common thing or is this just you like is do people know about this my brother Son only my brother and I I looked it up online and there are people there's a community out there

Okay, but it's all anecdotal. There's no real heart of this There's a masturbation community out there that takes unisom and watches more. There's three, but it's the community I bet you there's more people that do that than fuck fucking sloths in New Papua New Guinea That's true. It is a probably bigger. It's bigger. But have you ever thought about I think about that sometimes about like because I was watching a documentary about Animal rape, which was a documentary called zoo It was about this man who went up to Seattle Or Washington State with her family, but he went there to fuck a horse. Yeah, and he died. He did die

Yeah, I remember the horse dick punctured his stomach because three in the morning He snuck out there into the stables alone because you're supposed to do it as a group Horses of I've done this four or five times. Wait, you cannot you cannot go into that stable, right? And get a fucking horse to get a wrecked By yourself bend over he doesn't know what the fuck is going on. Yeah a horse He just starts walking around the stable. You give him some hay Right, you need three or four dudes to prop the guy up on one of those stirrup things, right? So he's up there like

So he's up there like this, right, right? So you have two or three guys, right? I Don't know that was a horse Not good. How do you do a horse? Right, yeah Right dick is the grizzly dick The dick is animalistic in many ways. Yeah, they need brown. You don't even know But it's thick it punctured the stomach. He bled out. He died, but you know, that's a sad story What's sadder than that is the cops his family was in a hotel room apparently his wife and kid

Oh, because they were there for like a business trip. They didn't know what he was doing and they go. Yeah, you're Your husband was found for the morning with his lungs and his Small intestines and large intestines Spilled out and then the woman's probably crying going Esther now if you got news that this happened to Dave Would you break his family and to your friends and family or would you fake some type of a lie? God I can't go there mentally because I feel like I've

Every inch of our relationship is like me making sure that something like this will never happen Your word that that might happen Like there I can't I'm constant monitoring if he gets up and goes leave the room where you going He's there's no unmonitored time. This can never happen to me. I'll go horse death proof in my house But but she does that to me too. Good idea cuz she'll go like at three fucking in the morning I'm 48 years old

Aristotle right I Have to take a fucking piece shit. Oh what I have to do pee and poo at the same time Oh, yes, you've done a piece shit before you've done piece shits before I just never thought about that, but I'm sure but if you think about it You know how resilient you are because to do two things at one time. It's like chewing gum and running It just means you have diarrhea means you have diarrhea. You're not well. Yeah, that's what a piece shit is right pee out of the Butt, but let's go back to sloth. So okay When I saw that document, I don't know why it popped in my head, but I go thank God. This is not a thing

Because if it was a if animal rape Was a real thing Like millions of people did it There would be no such thing as sloths Because everyone who flight is popping to guinea because they're so slow and then you ask yourself you asked me Yeah, but they hide on the trees When sloths pee and shit They go to the ground

So imagine a sloth climbing down a tree Just want to take a shit and pee and all of a sudden 80 dudes coming out of nowhere For a train and he ain't you know trying to get back up the tree. I mean imagine They want to do they have sex with female sloths Is it like the game is it like a vagina? I Heard of sloth rape, I know yeah, that's I've never heard of it. So I have nothing to say about that Okay, do you wonder wait do I ever wonder like

Sometimes I'm I like the resting am I assaulting my dog because like I grab her I cold go hold her close to me I scratch her chest like is that assault? What's your know? The we had a behaviorist a dog behaviorist come here and basically tell us you always need to ask permission To touch your dog because he worked with a lot of wolves and he says you always have to offer your hand this way And if your dog turns away, believe it or not, even if your dog looks like And you know it would tolerate touch. She doesn't want to be touched If she sniffs or licks your hand then she's inviting you to hold her because we have a really fucked up dog And he always tells us

You cannot grab him because he's cute You cannot just impose yourself onto that dog because it really causes a lot of stress. Oh No, that's her. Yeah, that's really and you know, they start yawning and yawning is a sign of anxiety But what you and I do with our dogs is really apparently not good, but Yeah, when you posted that photo so she posted a photo of her kissing Gobi a video and people went crazy like she's like Kissing the demon beast some demon be like like it's something bottom-dweller animal That's gonna cause her diseases and all that people thought that it was um Just not good, you know, I once posted a photo of me making out with my dog and six months later

It was on a porn site. Wait, my mom told me she's like you have to take this down. I'm like, it's up there now There's nothing I can do. How did your mom find it? Someone sent it to her Mmm, who's that somebody? I don't know. I've seen your mom. Yeah, but when did you meet Bobby? How old were you? I I was 21 when I showed up at the comedy store and I met him probably within a few months Of being there and did you go on the road with him? Immediately or did you guys like build a friend at first? Yeah in a few years. I mean mostly like we would Go out to eat, you know, and he would give a lot of really solid advice Um, he was just kind of the guy that I've always gone to like for pep talks advice

Um, I want to say something to the comedy community actually about that. Okay Um, when I started I had a bunch of locals in San Diego immediately not like me Because I was different but I didn't get I didn't feel any kind of fellowship or welcoming feeling from You know the scene in San Diego and so when I was coming up. I thought to myself There's two things in mind. Number one. I don't like feeling that way. You know, it feels like shit Yeah, and number two it is a way to survive And you know what older comics don't realize because I know a lot I've talked to you about a couple days ago There was a comic I saw online

Who's older who's famous who I don't like he just treats me like shit every time I say hi to him He goes he like you can tell he rolls his eyes because he has to say hi socially, but he doesn't have That ability to because he's a star. He doesn't have the ability to go. Oh, there's people coming up That's equally as talented who I should befriend because I it's a community Right. So that's what I do. I don't do what I know another guy that does the same thing as I do But he does it in a different way where

He does it so that He can have people around him that say yes all the time and that that kind of look up to him in that way I don't use it in that way. I really truly When I see like you Benji, you know all these young kids back in the day, you know, um I thought to myself This is gonna work It's not ready yet. She seems like a nice person I want to you know, I want to help her and I that's what I do

Now you're at a point in your life now where things are really happening Right, Esther. Would you say compared to the last time you were here? um I don't know that's like I mean I have a show coming out on hulu November 15th called doll face that I'm on That I'm really excited about Yeah, um, and I just shot my special. So those are two very big things that are going on for me now How does it feel to Have come here to LA at 21 known bobby for as long as you have

You know shoot a special and then See bobby and you know who hasn't Pulled the trigger on especially yet That's it is an interesting point you make What do you mean? well I go ahead. I don't know. I just express yourself why I guess I have over the years seen you and kind of thought to myself like

Where's the bobby special at? Oh interesting like why very interesting. I love it. I know that it's hard. It's not hard to Do okay. Speak your mind as I want to hear what you have to say What no, yeah, I want to know what you have to like no speak your mind No, I get it like I had somebody push me to do a special. I wasn't necessarily ready But that was You know the last 10 years I've been doing it, but it does seem like you've maybe been doing it longer And it is interesting that no one has pushed you or

It just seems like someone should be forcing you. No, no No Not at all Not at all, but um, thank you that means you care and you care about The trajectory of where I'm going in my life, but I like to say to everyone in this room Especially this guy Okay, that um, I know what I'm doing Does bobby strike you as someone who can be forced?

Okay, that's a good question. So he strikes me as someone that would be hard to force However, he is someone where force is necessary. So that's the only route you kind of have, you know It's like if bobby's gonna work out He's gonna need a concierge service It's gonna show up and pull him out of bed and push him to the hike So he does he needs that mayor of new york to come in and clean him up Oh juliani again Here comes juliani again in the store. You wrapped it around, huh? I want to say this to you little one

Yeah, yeah Yeah, look at this You know what this is What is it ester you know what this is what is it my fingernail fell off? Oh, no, and I put another a nail on it. I went to the cvs last night I put a fake nail in there and I painted it and it doesn't look good. Oh my god. It looks like like It looks bad. It looks worse than the actual fungus. It looks dead. Like you have a dead finger Like that finger died

He's bringing it up to you because he knows you have beauty tips that you might want to offer. Yes Yeah, I before we got here. He was actually like maybe ester can help me But let me let me let me let me approach the special first And then we'll move on to the middle finger. Okay Because this thing right here Right, I might cut the whole thing off. It's very scary. I've had issues with this finger since I was a baby Fuck this finger, but I need to do this That's why I have it, you know what I mean

But um, why don't you have a special? I'm going to tell you why. Okay When I go to um San Antonio and I do lol I go to the club and they go, oh shit The numbers are better than we've had it in like eight months and I go Oh The business comes in

I make good money. I leave and they go. Oh shit. Thank you so much for coming. That was amazing and I go you welcome I make good money I walk away. Let me ask you something What else is there? People want to see a Special out of me because they want to see it, you know on netflix or they want me But you know, they can see me do it live You know, it's not like I'm you know

If my business was dying And I'm sitting around going I'll have nothing but it seems From just my perception The things are going way better than it normally is Okay, that's true. But is that really the reason why you don't have one? No, it's out of fear. Okay, of course. Oh, okay Wow, therapy works It's out of pure and utter Fear and perfectionism. Yes. It is scary to like finalize the material

Right. So when I do a joke like Thai people sound like, you know, their names are all fucked up and they their names are like Whatever I do They're silly sound effect joke. That's not really thought provoking It's just there to get a laugh and I want more than that I want I want to be able to do it and I might not have the capability of doing it But if I do a special I want it it has to be Everyone's special And I and and that pressure it has to be the numbers

The the um the heat everything about it has to be so good and they have to promote it and in my head I don't think that anyone's Behind me 100 to do that. And if they don't do that, I don't want to do it I understand that because when when I'm walking down the hallway and Chappelle goes, hey, let's do a selfie for my son You know, I feel like I'm a part of the comedy community And when Chris Rock says hello to me He's not saying hello out of just, you know, it's because I'm a part of the thing and they all respect respect me I do believe that I don't think anyone doubts that I think it's more of a collective frustration

As you know, where we see someone's I think you're the funniest person I've ever met in my entire life Honestly same so intrinsically funny. So when you see Everyone else around you You know put out even like say a mediocre special. It hurts my heart. I understand that but I also know that I have a friend And he's a huge podcaster huge and He did a special He's the biggest podcaster right now and when he did it he did it prematurely. He did it early and it hurt him

That's not I'm but I'm just saying they're almost 50 Yeah, he's also in the 40s. Yeah, but this will the premature conversation does not apply here Why? Because because it's not about my age. It's about my act is my act premature not You're asked you've been doing it. It's not ready yet. Maybe it's not ready yet. Bobby. That's oh, no It's not ready. I've seen you go five nights a week for 10 years And that's just what I've seen Yeah, but it's ready. No, no, no, no, man

Because what you're seeing up there is jokes. They're No, I know what the versions of jokes that I've done. You know, I mean, it's like it's a whole Can I ask you something maybe a little bit too bad? You guys are fucking retarded right now I know, but can I ask you something like a Mike Bernalina sneak sneak? I have a question Is I have a question Do you have a fear of retiring the jokes? Because you don't want to

Have to put pen to paper to create another hour. Yeah, yeah 100% and you don't think that I'm on stage and I hear Two people if they're in the room Gasp when I'm on stage because I'm doing jokes that they think is Not elevated or And it might be in my head. I don't think it is who gives a shit about elevated Bobby. I've never heard a room full of people Yeah, they don't I don't need to go see stand-up. That's like

Teaching me something. I go to laugh. I sit in the back room. I watch you. I laugh. I got what I needed You know, I don't think you need to be so hard on yourself. You're not political That's what I'm saying. I could be Your next stand-up specials all political stuff trying to morph into an alt-comical No, but here here. All right be yourself. All right ester if you really want to dive into it I I didn't want to but let's go dive into it if you want to okay because you opened a door That was very heavy locked sealed and um

Unpenetrable like it was a mummy in there pandora's box like chiliopatris mummy not just a regular mummy really special money. Okay but um Oh my god spit it out You broke him ester. No, you didn't break me. I'm just want to I want to be able to Say the right thing For people to back off of it. Okay Is the whole reason why I'm here in the fucking first place you fucking guys Is because I want to try this is the furthest I've gotten

in terms of even asking I just me calling al magical that one day or whatever Was the first time I've asked in eight years really and I went you know what? I want to do a special. I don't want to do I don't trust sometimes in my reps And I feel like it's I feel like there's a disconnect and I need somebody to help me And that's why I called out because and then I met Mike and and I made that I reached my hand out to put the first step Forward so this is a beginning for me. I'm in therapy. I'm going to do it every week

I'm going to go to meetings a meetings. I'm going to get healthier And I want to get back into a regular state of mind And when I and the reason why I'm doing this is because I am preparing to do it. It's going to happen Um, I want everyone in this room to worry. Okay I'm going to do it to worry or not worry. I don't want anyone to worry because I'm I'm I feel You said you wanted us to worry. I don't want you to worry. I I I feel good. I feel great I feel better. Okay taking one step is a big deal. Sorry I had to do that. I had a fart because it just all attention. Yeah attention. Yeah, I farted this morning, babe

I'm so sorry for that ripper. What happened. I was laying on my stomach and I heard the alarm go off and I breathed I breathed I went And I breathed out and went like this I Like that and it you know, I mean, sorry. Oh god So does that is everyone feel better about that? I guess I'm curious How would you start preparing once you finally like are you in special mode right now?

Are you going up with the special in mind? Or do you not need special mode sunday? I did a joke about me going into a cash checking place I got a huge laugh. Okay, and I'm beginning now to construct new jokes For this idea. I have a series of Jokes that I'm writing That I have a certain chunk I'm now looking at my acting chunks And I'm adding stuff that needs adding. I'm taking stuff away and I'm molding it

I need connections. I need setups. I think we call them transitions. Whatever Connections, you know, I need setups and I need connections Okay, do you believe him? So you're really in the zone right now. You believe me got that nope. You believe me I don't God that hurts. What what can Esther what can Esther and I do to force your hand? Yeah, what can you do? No? I'm asking you Tell me tell me what you guys will do What can people in your lives do to force your hand and say, okay?

Like do we have to to push you to the point of despair or humiliation is going to be embarrassed Okay, I just want to say something and then this you want to cut this out. Don't put this in the thing Don't put this in the other cut this out. Okay, but this is me Okay, uh-huh a wild violet. Yes, okay candle flavor. I'm gonna show you some stuff here. I'm gonna show you some stuff here I'm not oh rich wallet. I'm gonna show you some stuff right here. Okay. This is very good. You're gonna love this I'm already liking this analogy. You're a lover, right? I'm gonna show you something right here. All right. Oh god Just watch just just watch watch watch Oh

That's what I'm doing What? He's fucking I'm carrying all this shit Right. Well, that's right. No, just here. This is the new Netflix show I got What? Yeah, the cartoon I'm in with Frank Gellman a bunch of people. That's awesome. Okay. This that's what this is This one right here. This little guy right here, right? Is this maybe the CBS thing I'm doing with Serena Williams and a bunch of people I've met with I'm James Corden and uh his boss

By doing this gigantic show for it CBS Probably gonna happen Um, I have mag and pi doing a third one. They wanted to do 10 episodes next year. I don't know what I want to do You know, who knows? the podcast is um Absolutely killing it. I go on the road people yell out George Gilbert Kallai little mostly And they scream people cry when they meet me now. Let me say something to you. Okay

Let me take this off. Okay. I have all these things Things are fine Things are fine. Oh, why am I the bad guy? I'm just here to I love it and I only did that right so we can get to this place and now we can start anew. Okay. Okay. I love you so much Same. Do you? Yes. Be great, but you are killing it I told you that a couple weeks ago in the parking lot like you're killing it. You have everything. You're on top right now This is the time to have a special and when I do one I know this

It'll be good. Yeah And I know that I'll walk away from it going I'm gonna I have I have so many ideas in my head as a stand-up even ideas Okay, so um, I think that This is a good beginning Do you know where you want to shoot it? I've been thinking maybe Koreatown, maybe San Francisco. We don't know Even a place like San Jose. I have a great audience. I have a great audience in um Portland as well. So I might do one there

But there's a lot of different places. Orange County is good for me. Wow. Texas is good for me, but we'll see but um I want to watch the taping Oh, you have to be there because I want to do stuff backstage with comics. I want Delia there if Delia is not there He's dead If Delia doesn't come to my special Theo Vaughn doesn't come to my special Any of those guys Brian Kelly who I'm gonna invite everybody if they don't come To support they're dead to me forever Yeah, and they're all gonna be in the park and they're all gonna be in my special because they're gonna be all backstage in a line

I'm talking bilber Al magical, right? Everyone Steve Bern Delia Everyone hundreds the market show. They're all gonna be there and they're and I walk up on stage They're all gonna Pat my head Right. I'm gonna give a group hug to these huge stars. Yeah, and they're gonna put me on stage And I'm gonna talk

It's gonna be great like Beyonce does backstage with her dancers before they go Oh, fuck. I'm gonna pray or huddle. Yeah. Is that what you want? That's what I'm gonna do Bobby does the Korean community like you? No And that's that's a bill wilderness to me because um We saw ricky the other day, right? Who's ricky? You know ricky. What who's ricky? Oh that ricky. Yeah, you know ricky Oh ricky. You got it. There's a guy named Ricky who many many years ago said to me

You're a disgrace to the Korean community He was a big kind of at the time a big kind of Korean guy coming up And it broke me And then when I went to toronto it all was clear to me my friend The club owner came up to me and he said I spent X amount of dollars

in Asian magazines Korean magazines. I had a street team in Chinatown This place is packed, but it's 95 other than Asian and I go. I know that my audience is everyone If you look at my audience the Koreans and Asians are there they look like me They're not You know That's there. Why are you laughing? They don't you know, you know some Asians that they wake up and they go. Oh, they make that noise even

They they yawn too Right that's some yawning. Yeah, and they they have their little bind feet And they go to the kitchen wait, this is why the This is why they hate me Right and then they make their little they make their little like buns with some sweet Sweet bean delicious. Yeah Delicious. We fry them like the Mexicans. Yeah, that's what I always say, but um Yes, so that's what they do and then the one there are other Asians that wake up. They go

Yeah, I'm gonna get uh, uh, you know, maybe a avocado toast for the morning I think Koreans are very protective of perception. Uh, Yeah, um a lot of Asians think that I'm filthy. He represents Uh, you know, he's just he's a renegade Korean. He's a runaway. Yeah Uh, he's he's the Korean that they don't want you to associate them with He's like Mia Khalifa Yes Yes, yeah, exactly

Muslim porn where she doesn't do porn anymore. She's more than that now, but certain Certain Koreans do like the younger ones. They rally behind him. They love him But maybe the older generation Definitely looks down. No, because I remember after mad tv and headlining And I didn't have the material or the gumption. They just made me do it because I had a name You know how that happened where they go, uh You have to do 45 minutes. I'm like, I only have 20. Yeah, that happened and they're like, I don't care. You have to you have no money So I was like, oh right scrambling, right?

I forgot my point again. Sorry So this is from the sleep aids that he takes really how I well, I think that he takes he He takes more than the recommended dose And now there are studies coming out saying that like it caused it may cause like early onset dementia or like memory loss and um Do not lose your train of thought when you're shooting a special because delia and theo and everyone backstage Might not give you the the pat in the back that you want. It's funny that you say that for some reason or another when I'm on stage

Yeah, it doesn't happen Because I I for some reason I just know it. I know how to get a laugh. I just know how to do that But um, and I was a little worried about that because when I I did the first weekend after my dad died I was scared because I was like, I don't feel funny at all. And I haven't been up in three weeks So when I did it the first show was like, oh my god I could just do it. Was it rusty at all? No, I have to fart again. I'm so sorry. I couldn't do in the mic Yeah, if you put the mic down, thank you

Oh my god, should we get some room tone after that as well? Bobby, you just shut your pants I've never heard anything. It's so juicy. Thank you. You're welcome. I have a question. Go ahead. It might be too It might be too personal so you can cut this out if you want But you know When you've told the same Are there jokes that you've been telling for so long that you don't when you get up on stage and tell you don't even have Joy in telling them anymore. That's 70% my act They're jokes. That's another thing is is there are jokes that I have. I know that work. Yeah

That will kill it. You can't I won't do I will not do them. Oh, really? There are jokes that I cannot do There's a typhoon joke that I did a long time ago. I think I did it on a tv show once. It's a good joke I just won't do it. It makes me nauseous That's how I when I say it about my I don't want to vomit the set. I just did for my special Yeah, it it makes me sick to my stomach to do that set again. That's what I'm saying. I hate it makes me hate what we do But I know that's just the job and that's Now now we're getting to The real point of this

Okay, okay And I'll tell you why I made the call to Al. Okay I've never said this out loud I've never said this out loud. I Was on stage six months ago And halfway during the stage I legitimately and utterly made a commitment never to do it again It was 100% in my mind It was 100% I thought in my head. I figured it out. I go. I don't have to do it. I can do pot higher belly

I can do some of this acting shit. I can't do this anymore. I hate it I don't want to do it. I hate I hate showing up at the store parking my car Saying hi to people the whole process of it makes me nauseous and sad And I hate it and the reason why is because I find no joy in it anymore And the reason why I find no joy is because I'm stagnant and the reason why I'm stagnant is because um I have no um goal or Dream or anything. So I had to rediscover

Or why I'm doing it and what the loss would be if I didn't do it and the loss would be Extremely too big for me to even be able to even deal with so I'm doing it Wow If you hated it and you realized I need to do something new to love this again Yeah, you don't think that I feel when I'm up there Comics worried about me or concerned about the trajectory of where I'm going. I feel it I don't I don't know you don't see you don't see what comics say to me

What are they saying? They say crazy shit like what I can't say it People say crazy. I have the reason because I'm so small and pudgy and I'm so kind of meek in many ways in front of like Rogan and some of these guys they're alpha males Yeah, they they have the ability to corner me and yell at me and say things to me to make me all scared and and um But they're trying to rogan is trying to get me to do a special He's been doing it for a year. That's another reason why I want to do it because when someone like that Is saying to the comedy community. This is a shame and it's a and it is it's such

sad to see This kid who has all the ability in the world and because of some sort of weird Fear or character defect that he has in his personality that it's you know, some sort of like sensitivity or You know, I have to be able to overcome that. I'm 48. Yeah, you know, that's actually a lot I was told in therapy that a lot of that perfectionism and that fear of not achieving comes from being beat as a child That's what she said Is that what your therapist said to she said? Yeah, there's there's trauma. That's in my life that I Obviously like I told her I go when that guy molested me. I didn't feeling I didn't care

She goes I can't believe that I think that you were aroused And I think there's a lot of hate You know the connection between You you think in your head because you're a comic and all that kind of stuff that you can you say I only wanted the candy that you're that as a nine-year-old kid That emotionally, you know, let's back up ester. He got molested by a man with Down syndrome and He did it all for the candy for the fun dip and I did that as a joke. I think

As a bit. Yeah. Where's the fund it bitch? It's like a dick. Yeah Fund it bitch, you know, I mean that kind of mentality that I can live with with live with To be a nine-year-old kid to be that strong, but that's not what happened That's not I made that up In terms of how I dealt with it, I think I was affected by it I think I was affected by my dad beating me Chasing me down in a drunken rage and beating the shit out of me That's what sucks is these bad things happen and we're affected by them and then you can't run

It's always gonna come back. It's all you can run. Oh, you can't run. Well, you can run, but eventually you can't run anymore You hit a wall. I'm hitting a wall. So, um, that's why I'm doing it. I'm not doing because Kali. She's I'm like, she's I'm like She asked me Is your girlfriend making you do this who asked you that the therapist To go to therapy and I looked at her right and I go, um, that's an interesting question now Because there's nothing that she says that like when this this is me coming here today Even though I don't know what the fuck it was about I did it because I wanted to do it. I understand that she's working hard on it

I know that Mike, you know, I mean his poor Mike. What is that a deal with? And he believes this fucking guy, you know, I mean this fuck He believes so, you know We're here I feel like you think you're a loser. I am. Yeah, it's weird. You're like not a loser. I know. No You're a huge success. But she for years and years and years, but she's getting that too. She said that too She your therapist said you think you're a loser. Yeah, she goes. Well, look at all this stuff Yeah, and I could what is that about, you know, so we're getting there. It was the first one

It was one hour It's going to take months and months and months and I am going to do action And I'm going to get meetings again, and I'm going to get better. Good. And if it doesn't happen, I'm fucked Yeah, you're not you're fine. We live a great life I just feel like I have to do it. But I don't know. Listen, I've never had a dad die before That's another thing. It's like, hey, let me Hey, everybody, let me live in a world figure out how to live in a world without my dad And the guilt that comes with me not seeing him as often as I should have

And I'm doing the same thing with my mom now Like I'm always on the road and I and my mom texted me every day and I don't want to betray her And I know she's going to go to go soon and I have that guilt. So I have a lot going on guys So let's ease up on it. I'm going to do a fucking special. I'm saying this is a mic and everything's fine. All right Here's another thing is is that if we were in a trajectory of a downward trajectory in my life I would think to myself just hear me out. Okay. Um, I need to do it Desperation, but right now there is a little window of me being able to go. All right. I have things going on Everything's fine. Does this feel like an intervention? It does

But I'm fine with it. I like it Okay, because I like defending myself. I like intervening. Yeah. Good. Thank you Let's get it all out there. I want to do it. I want to be real. I have so many I know you do. I have so much so much resentment. I could feel it feelings about this It is just bubbling over and seeping out of my ears that I just can't hold my tongue anymore She does says things that and out of her frustrations and out of her years of Dealing with my behavior. I am the worst

Human being I don't think I'm a loser. I am difficult to live with Kyla, what is like, what are you most frustrated about right now? Just the amount of This is gonna sound terrible, but I would have never gotten with bobby if I didn't think he was funny Imagine having to sit in the audience and pretend to enjoy your Boyfriend's content for six years. I would never put myself through that. Right, but so bobby to me is such an anomaly Because I have never I think he's there are no other prototypes He's a very specific prototype that was discontinued in the 50s that somehow made its way today

Oh, shit. You know what that reminds me of and I it's frustrating for me that That he's not like seeing how special he is. Oh, shit Kiss kiss kiss popo. What was that robot movie that heli joe osmond Oh, bison tell you man bison tell you man. AI your wife. AI AI bison tell you man Just stop bison tell you man You mean the Robin Williams vehicle that failed miserably, you know what those two movies are merged in my head Yeah, that's true because the first half of AI is great. Yeah, the second half what he's in the ocean

So sad. I ain't the ocean I got in the ocean forever Fuck you AI. That's what I said in the theater But I said good job. So ester. What are what are some tips you can give bobby about his fake nail that he's um Pasted on his middle finger it goes to your doctor That's the obvious one. Well, that's a fake nail He's he bought one from cvs and he was in the car yesterday And he I was wondering where he'd where he had gone two hours had passed. He was just supposed to buy bananas down the street

And he was like, I'm in the car. I went to cvs and I bought these fake French tip nails now. I'm in this. I'm in the parking lot right dark putting glue on Putting this thing on painting it in the dark This is the third version of this You shouldn't be putting glue on your Is it where is the glue going just on your this is the this is not a real nail I'm getting sick looking at it. Okay. Just look at it. It's not a real nail That's a plastic fake nail. You need okay. So when you lose your whole nail

That's not what fake nails at cvs are for those that's not Yes, it is. No, no, no, no, no. You need to go see like a plastic surgeon. Why did the fuck you have nails at the nail? Why would they have a full finger nail? Those nails are for women. Those are in men and people who don't They're for people who have nails but want longer nicer nails. They're not for replacing the full nail You need you still need a nail Look how nice my nails are. They're really nice. Oh, wow. I have to say they're really nice. So strong though I thought the thing was good. I like that. I don't know how you're able to balance that

That's what old like asian men in japan do with rocks I don't think he knew it was going to balance either. Yes. I did. I think he did. Oh, yeah Have you seen me play that jenga? We've never played jenga. Have you seen me play jenga though? I've never seen you I did a jenga once from the bottom the ground a hard wooden floor all the way to the ceiling A jenga that's not what jenga jenga only hits a certain height and then you start removing blocks Yeah, I lied I completely lied. I saw jenga on a tv show once. I don't know what it is

You always do that like he'll tell this like 20 minute story and you're just like you can't believe it It's so interesting. And then the very last beat you're like, I made everything up He does that a lot on this podcast. Yeah, I have a I have one story I've been telling a thousand times And court mcowen, you know court. Yeah, it's his favorite story of all time and I can't I can't tell him

It's a complete lie. What is it? I want to hear it. It's so elaborate. Oh my god crazy And I said it 10 times and now people over the years I've been trying to search for it And I lied about it. It's the only story that I completely kind of lied about Wait, now I have to hear it. I can't tell the story when I get so gross Oh It is a personal story. Is it like what I'll tell the story. I'll tell the story. Is it about 9 11? No, but I was in pearl harbor I was in pearl harbor

And rena's is it was a 9 11? And there's nothing anyone else can say about it I believe and rena's is he I'm the only one that does I believe him and tracy and even though even though they said I know even though they say we lied I still believe the old lie Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's my war my friendship. My friendship goes deep With people so um, he did it. He was there But I was also during their Hiroshima Nagasaki and I barely made it out alive. I was in both towns

At the snow Nagasaki happened. I ran. I took a bike. Yeah, and I went to um Hiroshima, and then and all of a sudden I saw and I was like, this is bullshit. It's crazy. What are the odds? I'm going to a city in another atomic bomb Right, you would think one atomic bomb would be like, this is it. There's no way but you know But a side note about that about Hiroshima Nagasaki and I know I do this. This is not a part of my mania my mania, but um a lot of koreans

died In Hiroshima Nagasaki. Did you guys know that people think it's Japanese people? But it's not there was two koreans families They were during there during Hiroshima Nagasaki when the bombs fell down. Do you know why? Because years earlier when the japanese um occupied korea They stole all our rice Right, uh-huh and koreans

went to japan To follow the food They get to japan they're like the imagine a dad. Oh We finally made it to Hiroshima. We can eat. Mm-hmm. What the fuck? That's what happened to you. No, that's you were there. I was I wasn't there. That was in the 40s. Yeah Anyway, what a great podcast Wonderful. You have an awful. Yeah Advice, well, what would be a time wise? Oh, we're about an hour. Okay, pretty good

I just am I now it's going to be I came on your podcast and shamed you. No I think that you it works better. Okay You're basically the mouthpiece for everybody in his life and everyone all his fans. Everyone feels the same way I want to see something I'm gonna do it like this. Okay Like bang like bang. Okay. That's what Dave will ask. How do you sound like this? I don't remember what you sounded like, but um, I want to say that There's 10 to 20 people

on planet earth Can ask can ask me questions like you ask me Because I your dear friend of mine. Thank you. And so there's nothing that you can say or do that'll ever offend me Thank you on this level I love you. Go ahead I'm helpful advice with bobby kalayla and lunaster Hi, tagger belly. I really found out my ex's son passed away I only knew his son when he was a baby. He died at 20

The ex is obviously heartbroken But I wonder if I should send a note of sympathy as a parent. This makes me sad. I can't imagine losing a child Is this a good idea a good idea? Should I send him my condolences or should I close this chapter? Condolences, yeah, there's nothing that's not Not anything but condolences. I would do condolence and throw in an iPad Oh, what do you explain that? Oh, I would send a letter going. I love you. I'm so fucking sorry. I just can't I can't imagine Here's an iPad too

So he'll go oh And there's probably a little bit of joy You know, I'm here today because of a condolence like that Because my parents were dating and then they broke up And then they were broken up for several months and my dad's his mom passed away and my mom Reached out she called him and said I just wanted to say like I'm really sorry about your mom dying And my dad's response was can why don't you come over? I want to see you and literally Within the next three days. I think maybe even one day I was conceived

Wow, they were like that they just she made the condolence call and it was like that's all she needed to do Like he he wouldn't pick up the phone to call her because he was too stupid or whatever And then once like he had once she showed herself. He was like, well, I want to be with you Wow So you never know what could happen when you send your condolences, but he has his own I'm guessing he has his own kids and family And she has her own. Well, here's one other piece. She ghosted him. That's how the relationship stopped Oh, it doesn't matter. I think that death

kind of opens the doors for there's no I don't know like I I absolutely would that's just expressing, you know support. That's just showing support saying hey I'm sorry that happened. It doesn't have to be anything else, but that doesn't have to be Oh this person she's not going to receive it like oh, he's trying to get in contact or come back into my life Just sorry for your loss. That's fine Fine. No harm in that. Yeah, forget the ipad

Condolences suffice Gosh Esther, uh, where did you shoot your um special? Uh, we shot it at dynasty typewriter in downtown LA Oh, shit. So it's intimate. Yeah small intimate, but very on brand. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. I feel the same What do you think my words should be? I like they I really am happy that I did it in LA That's it. LA. Korea town. Korea town. Yeah, find a place in korea town Where three koreans will show off. I can't no, no, no I can't understand why not in korea town if you can shoot it in LA

I can't see why you anyone would never not choose to shoot it in LA. Right God to the forum But um, let me just throw out one last idea before we end this because we know we have santino coming in but um The one thing I wanted to say The reason is it the reason why I wanted I don't want to do a specialist because I don't feel like anybody that wants to Do it with me not inside in terms of at this level But in terms of like a company like hulu amazon netflix hb any it's comedy central So no one's offered either. So it's like you're you're hanging on to something joe koi said to you

Five years ago, which was what which was I remember him saying that he had trouble himself Proving to netflix that he could get a special. Yeah, but that was five years ago You're hanging on to that tiny bit of information the tide has changed everything is so different now It sounds to me like you just want someone to come up and hand it to you. Yeah, these go say I want it Exactly. You got to tell somebody I want to do this. Oh, I didn't ask. I didn't ask yet. Yeah, you got to say Hey, I have oh go go go go go go. Bobby Lee. Thank you ester for coming in Want to do a special. Thank you ester for coming. I love you so much Esther, where can we watch your special and when is it coming out?

My specials coming out on comedy central sometime in 2020 isn't doll face coming up doll face is coming to hulu November 15th, and hopefully I'll have a new podcast soon Oh, and I'm gonna be in Chicago December 4th good Amazing guys will be right back with some housekeeping. Hey guys, and we're back. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast Uh guys make sure you see the slept king live because bobby will be in your city Cleveland, Ohio November 14th through 16th braya california November 22nd through 24th san francisco california december 12th through 14th calusa california december 21st urvine california january 17 through 19

Go to bobbyleelive.com and grab them before they're gone and to get your question on tiger belly by emailing us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com We're looking for interesting unusual non-typical problems, and we need your help as much as you want ours That's adviceunhelpful at gmail.com and once again if you are listening to this merch comes out november 7th So make sure you grab your warm me walking down the street Remix tea and your black hoodie and your sticker and your mug whatever you want make sure you get it We will have those there and if you are listening to this and we all have already chosen our guests for the live show in this Studio. Thank you guys for all your emails. We appreciate it and if you did not get chosen make sure you dm george because george selected all the people um

So make sure you hit up george and dm's if you did not get chosen and also ask him for stickers He will be sending to those. See if you didn't if you didn't get contacted Uh dm. Um, he will dm you back and you also get stickers from our have a good night. Bye Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey