TigerBelly - Ep 221: Hello to The New

Episode Date: November 20, 2019

Bobby Lee is the #1 Bobby Lee. Khalyla turns the tables on moved tables. We talk peasant eyes, baby Yoda, foreskin 2.0 and finishing your donuts.  Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus Hello, everybody. I'm on tour here on my dates Brea, California November 22nd to the 24th Brea improv this weekend San Francisco, California the punchline December 12th of the 14th Kalusa, California December 21st Kalusa Casino Irvine, California January 17th of the 19th Irvine. Don't forget Hilarities on January 7th and 8th Hilarity is jet January 7th and 8th Schaumburg, Illinois

Chicago improv February 13th to the 16th more at Bobby Lee live.com guys enjoy the theme song Five four three, two, one Take your protein pills and put your helmet on Welcome to another episode of tiger Billy It's our first episode in the new space and it's really weird to be here I'll be honest with you because it seems like the old space almost yeah, and This is a work in progress by the way This isn't gonna be a permanent backdrop. Mm-hmm are the permanent wallpaper hasn't come in a lot of things you see here are still going to

So any tips and suggestions let us know yeah, you know so guys I know your little paintings You know knick-knacks little clay models like this little guy right here. Mm-hmm. She would give me that for a second Some fucker some stone. Hi. I call him with stoners. I call him stone highs some stone. Hi You made this when he was stone. Hi hundred percent hundred percent and it's dead on to thank you. I don't have a Bottom half. I want the bottom half your money nungle. So I want to say something to you. That's um God, I'm in therapy. That's number one. I've never been in therapy before and it's blowing my mind I needed to go to therapy because When my papa died I didn't cry and then I held it in I still haven't cried and there's things going on with my okay

You keep looking at that box. Why are you looking at the box? I want to make sure which way I was facing Yeah, I flip flipped it. Okay, so he's not looking at you, bro. Okay, and also. Can I say this? I only have my dad's bottom half in there So the eyes are not there. How sure are you? I asked so it's like this the opposite of the opposite I got yeah, that's what my brother got the upper half. I got the bottom half of my dad. That's in the box So if you're afraid of ghost feet then get scared So I'm on a new show it's only three-week show and You sleepers are gonna go. Why are you doing this show Bob? You know, this is not your you know thing Bob

But I'm 48 and I want to figure out how to do You just fart or just move to cow. Oh my bad. It's not a good Your face look like you love no good. I enjoyed it. Oh, there's no smell to like, you know satisfy me. I'm apologize So I'm on this new show called game on And what it is it's it's um Rob Rob Gronkowski He's from the New England Patriots. He's a linebacker a couple months ago

You didn't know who he was and on this podcast you said this is what you said. You said, what's a Gronk? Oh, yeah, I said, what's a Gronk? So I never knew I was gonna do this show. So on a podcast With Johnny Sanchez. I said, what's a Gronk? And he go, I'll never do anything with Gronk on a Monday No, you said something like that though. I said that you said you wouldn't do anything with Floyd Mayweather But then you said I you you should have said Gronk up front because you wanted to do something with Gronk So you actually manifested this job. So the next thing I know I'm with Gronk on a Monday Working, right? And I just thought that that was a little bit of a manifestation So it's me Venus Williams

Rob Gronkowski Keegan Michael Key Ian Ian Carmel and me and we're doing a show called game on it's a competitive Sports show where I have to compete competitively with the elite athletes of the world and my body is fucking broken Oh, you've lost 15 pounds lost 15 pounds. Holy crap. My right leg was this weekend from my

You know my waist down to my knee purple because it blood vessels are buck breaking I went to the hospital salaried emergency room wait because my leg is purple my knee was bloating because it got I tore a quad in my you know attended to my quad it went down to my knee Yeah, you understand what I did she saw what I do Tell them what I do, but don't give it away too much I won't but there is something brilliant about Bobby in the sense that he is so unafraid of fully committing physically Like he would rather die Then then not go through a brick wall on camera like there are certain things where me as a human

I'm like well this 48 year old unfit man, you really shouldn't be up there in the sky But somehow he manages to pull it off with a thousand percent commitment and that's why his leg is purple that's why my leg is purple and Like for instance when you jump off the roof of the studio with one wire to the ground from a platform, right and Most people won't do it Most people look at and go I'm not doing like we've had guests like Bobby Monahan and Kevin Neal and and Kevin Ken Jong. I mean these are people that have done the shows already. Yeah, right?

Tomorrow we have James Corden and Demi love them you love autos on my team. Oh So the reason why I'm doing this show is because I'm exposed to sports sees Which I don't know and I'll tell you the embarrassment So first day I go there it's that from here You can say that there's people gonna figure out what we live It's still a big We're narrowing it down, but I was like don't have to be in Santa Bada

You're being very specific with a coordinate So So yeah, you should have said and see no, so okay, so when you show up to a lot They don't know me you have to um you have to have an ID. Yeah Because if you have an ID, you're not gonna get on the lot. It's a studio. They have security the whole thing So when I pulled up I realized I didn't have an ID, but I didn't want to go home even though it was just five blocks away Ten blocks away. And so then I um, I didn't know what to do. So I go I went to the security guy go

Hey, I have my ID. He's like you don't think we'll get it at home. I go I googled my name I go hey, dude, I'm the number one Bobby Lee in the world But I didn't say it Like to brag I just don't want to go home to get my ID. Yeah, so I just try to be like look look He talked to his guy and they're all laughing at me So they go, all right, go ahead, buddy. I went in Every single time I go to that gate now. They all go. What's up? Number one and they all laugh They go, hey number one and they start laughing in the booth. Yeah every single fucking time now. Do you hate it now?

Well, I didn't do it to brag. Yeah, they're making fun of me because I was trying to just get in the lot Uh-huh, but but it seemed like I was bragging. There's this one time though when we were in the desert We were at Walmart. I know Walmart. We Walgreens we're in the middle of nowhere and Some guy was like wait, I know you you're a celebrity, right? But he couldn't pin down your name and you got so frustrated with him that you googled yourself You're like, I'm this guy when people don't know people go you're not him You go, I had him. Why would I lie to be this that piece of shit?

What would anyone lie to me Bobby Lee, you know, so I'm like, it is me and then they're like, you know No, it's not the Google it but that's desert behavior. You would never do that here. I would Because I we did something yesterday that you're not even aware of you are aware of it and I We can cut this out, but I have to say it. What was the restaurant? We went into yesterday. We couldn't eat. Oh Yeah, that place I don't give a fuck. Tell me what the name is called. It's in Pasadena. Okay. There's a place in Pasadena. It's a breakfast spot right And

You know me Kalyla, Coinda, Renzo the whole fam. Okay. She has her cousin from the Philippines, Louisiana is here I love her and um, we're just trying to have some breakfast like citizens we walk in and The guy goes, what are you guys doing because we're trying to take two tables put it together and also there were two tables right next to each Other. Yeah, but also there was like no one else and it's not slandering and they guys. Hey, man We don't do that here. We're not putting the but he didn't do it nicely He was so rude about it as if like he was just scolding us like little kids and we were like, oh, I'm sorry like apologize

You know and it's an enraged Bobby But it doesn't you know, it didn't just enraged me and then the guy that was in back of this guy Goes holy shit. It's Bobby Lee. Oh you out loud. Love that guy looks at them and then I look at the gang and I go let's go That was my and you know what she said that's the move, you know what she said yep Whoo, right out of there and I turned around look through the window and I saw their faces Put the tables together next time Because I'm gonna tell you this right now I'm not gonna do this now, but I was going to expose that restaurant tell people not to eat there

No, you should know you cuz you can't have you can't have people here. No, that's how people correct. Oh, listen That is an employee that made that choice. That's not he's not Representative of that's right. So I'm not making fun of the restaurant. I'm just saying you should fly or you should fire that employee Probably that's why I want to name the place the food's great. It's a great environment She's that that that fucking employee. You mean she'd get a shit together So why can't I say this maybe we shouldn't have jumped the gun and try to put the tables together too? There we go? It's our fault That's our fault. That's what we're getting from full circle from this whole circle

He did look at us like we were a bunch of dirty Asian peasants though. That's what I'm saying I know the peasant eyes when white people do your peasant eyes. You've done it to Timmy Right when I asked you to do something you give a pause like you don't want to do it And you look at me with peasant eyes Like I'm a peasant right and then you do realize oh, I'm higher up than you in this environment But it is natural instinct Stop the peasant eyes George All right you whites forget the page you know also nuts that kind of say this

I'm in therapy right now And I understand things I understand things very clearly to me. It's a lot about the white man. Okay my I've had struggles with other Asian comedians. Can we say that yes? Can we say that? Can we say that? Can we say that over the years and that would in therapy You know there was a lull in the conversation. I want to throw that out there. I go What do you think of you know Cambodian comedians or whatever? Or whatever easy, I'm not gonna go down there and she basically said That minorities in especially in your field, you know

Especially the time that you started There was no opportunity For Asian comedians So the few Asian comedians that are out there are fighting for the little scraps that the white man gives us Back in the 90s. No auditions. We had got no roles. No one would write for us So imagine or even stand up comedy clubs would be like they wouldn't only put one Asian on a lineup. They're never two Right. So you end up battling each other. Yes, you end up Resenting each other when at the end of the day your resentment should be towards something that you can't defeat

Which is peasant eyes And that's what we're talking about And that's where we're going Yeah, that's what I learned from therapy and I and I told my I told my therapist. I'm gonna say her name But she's very qualified And I said very qualified spent a lot of money. She's the best in the world Uh-huh, and I said, um, they talked about George a little bit. Oh, wow And he says watch she said watch him

She said reverse give him peasant eyes. Oh, so there we go. Can I see what yours is like? Oh Oh Don't ever see that again But anyway, I've learned a lot and that's so you know, I learned that in in therapy You know, and I've learned a lot about my self-hatred And that stems from my childhood and my trauma with my dad and all that stuff But I think in the next last section of Bobby Lee's life, which is we're in that the final chapter is the chapter The chapter is long

30 pages, it's gonna be great. No, we're not in the final chapter. I'm toward the final chapter though This is like three chapters before the none. There's no way I want this to be the final chapter the chapter It's a long chapter. I think you're right smack in the middle of your own. Well, like I would have a play There's three acts. I'm in the third act a movie three acts. I'm in three. I'm the third act Yes, or beginning third. I'm beginning the third Let's move on from it. Kyla thoughts on third act. I'm not gonna fight him on this In this third act, what what do I want to do and I want to go out in a blaze of glory When I mean by that is I'm not gonna shoot up anything or like explode, please

No, I want to I want to end my life on Jovi song feeling healthy physically Emotionally, I want to love myself. I want to look in the mirror and go, you know what I like you Because I've always hated myself. I'm the I'm dude even when I'm on this show game on in The writers they come up to me and you go you're killing it out there. I go Kidding with my face Like I always downplay my face or my styling or my building yet And I rip myself apart and I've been doing that all my life and I'm not doing that anymore I mean, I'm still gonna do it because I don't know the tools to get out of it

But this next check the next act is gonna be an act of healing But not right now. I think I'm in it the act in the book on the movie where it's pretty dark I I read somewhere last week and it blew my mind that in a lab Rats perform slower in a maze when they're expected to so if you take two rats, let's say Two equally two rats with equal potential Equal intelligence and you put them in two separate equal mazes, but you tell one person that this what are their names rat a Does it matter Bob Bob Bob and Rob good Bob and Rob? So Rob on the left his heat the person who who is watching the

Rob Rob, right? Believes that Rob is going to perform well in this maze. That's what he's told The other person is told that Bob is a slow rat and does not perform well Even though those two rats have equal potential Now that belief of him being slower actually makes him slower So you have to believe in people you have to believe in the potential of the other person so that they perform well So it's it's like when you do with George you do have to show him love and support and tell him you believe in him Or else he will underperform

Here to his peasant eyes You're gonna do great and you're a winner you do look in the mirror your champion Does that mean you have to change your paradigm of how you used to be like you set your expectations low Are you gonna now like look at you talking in the in the asking questions in the new space? I love it really? Asserting I have a confidence in you more skin 2.0. Yeah Yeah, what's that coming the question? No, like so you always you told me like advice the Bobby Lee advice It's always set your expectations really low. You're never gonna get it. You're gonna fail So when you get it you're surprised. No, so what do you do? That's the wrong way? I think it is I

think that nothing's personal and And I take everything personal So my therapist is like nothing is personal. Yeah, and then You know, you got to find the joy and you're there's initially why we do what we do there was joy there What it could have been 20 years ago or whatever I might have lost it But I need to find the joy again, you know, but I don't know to be exactly you know I don't have the answers for you my friend. I my friend Meg. I'm sorry

My friend Meg reminded me of something. She's like sometimes you have to remember the original dream You're probably sitting in it. Oh No, that I know fuck you just hit it in the fucking You know, we thought a reekin in the barrel. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out That's the I don't know about I don't know about can we try we try a couple different variants? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, you call us a something the baby in the moon. My friend Meg said this, okay? my friend Meg said that Um, you should go back to remembering your original dream. You're probably sitting you really bake those ginger snaps and snap

Wow, you know, what's so funny that you say that I Was sitting in the backyard And I started getting I started crying Because I saw the sunset and getting angry at myself because I realized that every single thing That I have in my life. I one time prayed for mm-hmm, I Remember praying I used to work at this restaurant called the Brockton villa and we did the shift and they were fucking always slammed and

After nine hours and you get like a hundred bucks and tips Right and you sit on the edge of this cove in the Pacific Ocean He's just smoked cigarettes and I used to go, please God. I Know I have never gotten a girlfriend or any pussy, please one girlfriend anyone beautiful That'd be great. I got that, but how am I gonna make money to buy a house? I don't know. I have no future I mean, I have all the things that I wanted. I want to be a comedian, you know, you know all those things and Then now that I have them I feel the same exact way as I did When I was sitting on that cove it just hasn't changed and

It's shameful It makes me sad at rageful at myself because If there was a God, he did those things I did the whatever, you know So I gotta change that about myself. It's about, you know, there's old saying wearing a new pair of glasses You got to just look at your life in a different perspective I want to wear new pair of glasses There's actually a book too Warby Parker. Yeah, I'm not sure I I'd like a new pair of glasses

There's a book called that you call a new pair of glasses. Oh, that's not it's not an a book That's not it's not an a book, but it's a book that people in a that's you can get it at like an a bookstore and You should be like George. He actually wears a literal pair of rose colored glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah Rose tinted glasses, right? I always thought that that was just a fashion choice, but now I realize it's why you're a happy person It's a fashion choice that reflects my personality No, my god, it was a coping tool. It's a fashion show that reflects my personality. No, it's not a ginger snap snap Can I say something else to about the show last thing I want to say it made me realize and you know what it's okay What I'm about to say is okay, and I also want to say that

That where I'm at is what I've always wanted so don't I don't anyone to go say oh, but I Realized where I'm at in in terms of like show business in terms of how people perceive me or even people are aware of me and You can tell by when you know when Keegan goes out there in front of this life It's it's the biggest audience like 400 500 people. It's crazy huge and they go in caramel. He gets a little claps You know Bobby Lee, maybe 20. I'm not kidding 20 people go But then everyone else even Kenjong

Kevin you know me like Bobby money, you know and you go oh Oh What you guys were saying to me we're lies, but it's fine, but is that you downplaying? I believe the warm-up guy. Oh, you were there. Why no, I'm just every night. It happens though No, I'm just a guy out there who's in charge of the applause He's not doing his job if your applause isn't big. No, no one knows the fuck. I am is what it is. That's true It is he gives the cues applause No, no, no, no, right? It's okay. I said what I'm saying

But you know listen, I'm cultish Mm-hmm. I think I'll always be cultish. I don't think I'll ever Be mainstream, but it's really good to see you and you guys did a really good job for the With this podcast room. It was quick because yesterday was a disaster. Yeah, you guys really sped it up and it looks great You think yeah, you guys allow stickers on this table. I want to do stickers. I want to make it a little weathered You know, but probably give a shout out to Johnny Johnny. He's a he's a listener of Tiger Ballet And he made this table for us Johnny made this table Holy fuck Johnny. Yeah, thank you

Straight-faced woodworking. Yep, right? I'm trying to look for his thing. I want to make sure Trust the elephant and then what's who's Why Salie? Salie's been working so hard. Yeah on this little Salie is a friend of ours and she Painted that door because it was just gonna be a plain white door and we didn't want it that way and it's still a work in progress And I think that she's captured you in your truest and she's captured your essence there And she tried captured yours as well, baby

Thank you with all the animals on my with all the animals and me just sitting there with my dick on that purple And then a tattoo my tattoo. Yeah, she got all those little things right look at that little star tattoo on my wrist Yeah, that's incredible stuff. Yeah, how's your relationship George? He isn't allowed to talk about it still even though you've met her. He isn't allowed. I love her How's your relationship deal? How's your career? Tell me about you? I will tell you about me Yeah, tell me everything. Can you make a cameo and something for me? What is it? A pitch video for a TV show strategy where he can't say no in front of a camera. That's why I did it Well, now I just put possibly I want to say this to you

That other thing I did for you that Netflix thing. Yeah, the food thing HBO. I loved it so fun Not one person's I've ever said I love you on that I will but I did it for you. Yeah favor babe favor friendships. Oh, no, I'm gonna do it Because I'll tell you why I probably do anything that you would ask me to do If I have the time You're just gonna have to find a time for me to do it, but I will do it. Yeah I'll do anything for you. Why I love you. I know if it's a promotion It's not but I only want to ask you things that matter to me. I'm gonna ask you to do well

I mean, there are you know, like how many three a year that you can I think that's a good enough Oh, so you have a oh, yeah, how many comic how many young comics come up to you? You have to say yes to shit that you're just like no, I say no now Oh, you do. Yeah, I used to say yes now ever to everything, but I always cancel those things. So I just realized It's worth doing it that way. Yeah, because I've said yes to so many shows that some open migrant Hey, I have a they gave me the belly room for Thursday. Can you do it? I have Brian Callan, and you know Munjabi, Munjabi is a Egyptian, you know magician I go man jabbing with jambes gonna be of course. I'll do it and then you'll go on the Instagram and you see this magician

You know, I mean you're tagged in it. We'll jump in with jambes some Indian You know the Egyptian guy, right? Yeah, and then you're just you never show up. There's so many people ask me I think they're gonna ask me to be in something and I say hey can Bobby Lee do this thing for Oh, I love it. I know you do but I have to use it to your benefit. I protect you though It's people that are just like you're just like come on. No, he's not gonna do it. Listen. I'm gonna tell everyone I'm gonna do it if it's good. Yeah, but no, these are not good. I know that's what I'm saying It's like, you know when I say when I say like I'll have people come up to me You can't believe it and I'll be at the store

You can see them a mile away because when you drive into the parking lot They're in the lobby like in the patio. Just standing there like just standing there like look at your car like this They're by themselves So you know what it so you go up there and there's hey, hey, hey, man. I came here to see you What's up? My name is Rodrigo Rodrigo Rodrigo and from out past a man wrote a script man a movie man. It's so good Now you the lead is yours and then you go. Oh, cool. Maybe it's legit. What tell me about it It's about you you're a cop you fighting the you know cartel, you know, I mean and then you do you turn into an Amoeba

Right and you you know, whatever it might be, you know And we go what a really hard turn going from a human to amoeba. How does he get there? Yeah, he doesn't even explain it Marvel bro. It's Marvel Marvel cinematic. Yeah, yeah, cool. So, you know, who's producing it? Oh, I don't have one Where's the script it not written yet? The idea I just told you repeat it. I go yeah, yeah, how much money nothing How much time do you need five months? Right, it's like why are you your fucking mind? Yeah, but he's just shooting a shot. No, you go

No, this is how you get me to do a movie. It Be legitimate a 24 Paramount whatever. Yeah, okay. Well any credible thing it has to be a credible thing. You can't go. Oh, yeah The production is coming spring. It's called spring crispy crunchy You know, oh, I've never heard of that. It has to be like something and then You go through your agent my agent has to call me and go. Hey, this is legit because I vetted and it's research You know Sasha is really producing it No, whatever, you know, and then Matt Damon is really in it. You want to read?

That's how it works. They're big stars, baby or call Kalyla. Oh, no, please don't. Oh Absolutely not. I am not the filter for that type of stuff because I will say no to everything Because I know that he doesn't he wants it to be legit through his people. So of course well You know Andrew Schultz Do we talk about him? He's gonna be here next couple he's coming ever soon. Yeah, but you know That generation of kids that are coming up in the in the comedy world that I I think are beasts and you see them you can't I Think the problem with older comics when I started like guys

I'll just say it. I don't give fuck Paul Rodriguez Every time I see the guy I say hi every time I say hi, I regret it because his reaction is always Way less than you mean like I'm a fan or something And I've done a gig with him in New Mexico a couple of years ago Yeah, and you took a photo with me backstage, but there's no talking, you know, he doesn't Care for me because I'm younger. I'm in from a different generation and A lot of those older comics are like that. They're just completely aloof and they don't but my thing is is to

That's the future So I've I'm always looking at young guys coming up who are the beasts who do what does comedy look like now? What are the voices are like and whoever's coming up like like this this weekend? I mean We're not this is not airing soon, right today. Oh, yeah, so this weekend I'm in Brea and Wednesday and Thursday I have to do this live fucking game-on show, but Friday Saturday and Sunday. I'm doing Brea I'm gonna be my body's gonna be beat the fuck up and I have a great show This weekend with young guys that I think that all of them are gonna make it. No

My point is is that You know a lot of older comics don't do that. I'm the shit. No one, you know, I only know guys at my level Oh, can I tell you what happened with it was so embarrassing. So I'm standing there on the lot and I see Cedric the entertainer Remember that yeah, I say it. Yeah, I've never met him before. I just thought that he would know you guys were friends Cedric he looks at me and he goes Not right now not right now And I go and I and then she's like I think he's a comedian. I don't know. He's like he's whispering I don't know, you know

He goes not right now. No But then he sees Keegan He's Keegan Keegan can't talk because he's on a voice thing because he doesn't want to write He's telling his wife to tell Cedric, you know, I mean that my voice So Cedric starts doing sign language to him and they're giggling and they're super close They're like this close to them. They're giggling and they're doing this little thing sign language You're right, right, and I'm going to just make right. He doesn't and then they kind of drift away and I just go to my room And I sat in my dressing room

You mean just try to analyze and I realized oh I'm not there yet I'm not at a point where I can go to Somebody I don't know and go was up was up and have them go. You know, I mean, you're still an amoeba, babe I'm an amoeba you know So that was embarrassing too, but it's this whole thing has been kind of embarrassing, but it's cool because you know It's different. You're meeting cool people

But you know you just that podcast you did with Kate Hudson and Oliver just came out that was um, yeah, it's funny I Know people you made her ride from it. Well, you made Kate Hudson cry, dude You know That was a beautiful thing. I love Oliver. Oliver actually has been Hudson has been um, you know, I'm in a bad place That's all I can see now. I'm not in a good place. I'm in a bad place I'm in a dark place and I can't get into it now. I will Sunday when you feel ready when I feel ready. I'm gonna get a timeline on it Sunday

Or except for yeah, but I'm going through a dark place and um I've talked to Oliver a bunch. He's a good guy and I think I'm gonna be friends with him forever. That's good If you're all all over I love you. I love Kate, but my brother and I went to their house in Beverly Hills We didn't we were there really early because we got dropped off. Yeah, cuz I you didn't you got to say Uber I got an Uber because something you couldn't find your car. Couldn't find my car So and so my brother and I let's just walk around this expensive neighborhood and people like they have like tour buses People taking photos of these houses. Yeah, and I guess it's maybe Goldie and Kurt's old house or whatever. It's a beautiful Gigantic just homie, you know, and we went in there and my brother and I were freaked the fuck out

But as soon as we walked in there, it was just so soft and warm and we did it It was great and Kate Hudson has 12 million 13 13 million followers on Instagram and I probably got about three new flowers from her But that whole experience with Kate and Oliver isn't great My brother and I are completely blessed and you know what at the end of the day My brother and I didn't kind of make it when in what world there's two drug addict Koreans that live in Pauwai California went to Pauwai High School Rehabs rehabs no connection to show business and all of a sudden many many years later

My brother and I in the air in their house doing a podcast is really kind of fucking freaky Dude Goldie Hine and Kurt because I am a fan of the whole family the whole I've talked to Goldie on FaceTime before because of Oliver So it's been a real kind of magical thing and even this game-on thing I don't know some of these athletes the tiki-tiki Barbie. Oh my god. That's another thing. I wanted to tell you So like he oh, yeah, so I'll tell the first the first the first day on set. Oh shit Yeah, the whole time I was like, well, who are the guests because I'm coming over to watch and he was like, oh Oh Yeah, he was like this this baseball player named Manny Manny and I was like many Ramirez from the Dodgers like a retired

I was like, okay, maybe it's many Manny Machado and he was like, I don't know I don't know but his name is Manny. His name is Manny So I was like, alright, it probably is one of the two Manny's that I know and I get over there And I'm and he was like, yeah, we've been talking all day me and Manny We've been like bonding and stuff and then I get on set and the blood just drains from my face because that's not Manny That's big poppy David Ortiz everyone. That's David all day rehearsal. I called him Manny Well, I was like, babe, his name is not many I go Manny! Wait, first time this is what I did. I'm not kidding. I saw him, I go Manny!

And I went, whoo, I did dance. What'd he do? He didn't say nothing But then after the 15th time he's like, big poppy And I turned to, you know, Ian, I go, what's his name? Big poppy. His name's David. I don't know where you get Manny Why did you think Manny? I don't know. I've been calling him Manny the whole time Do you have anything in every like brown baseball players Manny? I called him. Yeah, they're all Cuban. They're only man And so I called him 30 times. He goes, stop it. It's making everyone feel weird So I stopped. David Ortiz, I apologize. I'm not a baseball fan But I like you a lot and you're very strong. Legend. And he hit a baseball right into my heart

And then I was imploded in my heart I had a thing where I had to put the chest plate on and he took a baseball and he hit it as hard as gonna hit my chest Played and I turned into fucking Tony's star. Dark for a second. Oh, wow The whole mechanism came up. You know what I mean? The whole thing It was hard. Now another one I met was Tiki Barbara. Mm-hmm. Last night, you knew who he had Tiara Owens To so you run into these all these athletes and you up Tyrell to your royal and you you hug everybody and Then like, you know, um, Gronk is giving me like sports

Medicine because he has a brand. Hey, dude, you can use the CBD oil that my brand, dude I put it on, you know, you think Gronk would do this podcast. He's gonna do it. He said he would do it Okay, great, but I don't know how it's gonna go, but it's gonna be great. I love him You guys work really well. Not only that he said to something to me last night. I was me crying goes Hey, we have good chemistry, huh? And I really do believe we do I Go, you know what dude? We do There's something visually about us. That's so absurd

You and I running, right? Hop scotching together. We did a double scotch hop scotch routine. Do you saw that? Yeah, but don't give it away Let's people oh my friend my friend did that with you the gay Filipino Oh, I love him Nathan Ramos. Yeah, and he's another friend of yours. You know, your friends are shifty I'm at fucking with that Mexican, Mexicali. Yeah, there's a white guy comes up to me very shady It looks like a fucking the your the European killer. Yes. Yes. He comes up to me. He goes. Hey, yeah, you know me Hey, man, Sandy remember me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of a thing your friends are creepy, but I like them That's another thing that's great about this thing. So I think you guys should check it out when it comes out if I don't die

I But um, yeah, my body is so fucking broken. I think you're doing great. Sweet. Thank you so much nurse or doctor to be like man The doctor has x-ray vision. How is that? How is anyone's gonna know that he's torn an ACL or an ACL? I know but you're doing eight episodes in three weeks. That's intense You know, they it's it's I can understand their stress level. Mm-hmm. They need me So I'm banding my leg and I'm going through this all this pain and suffering because I want to make the show work and I want to be at the service and I want them to think that they made the right choice

Because you know, I'm not quite sure I was the first choice You know for a fact you weren't the first choice, I know I wasn't the first no one told you to your face Yes, and now do you have resentment against the person who told you you weren't the first? I'm not mad that I wasn't the first choice I'm just mad at the guy that told me I wasn't the first choice. I'm mad at him, too Out of nowhere. He was just like, you know, you weren't the first choice for this very Hollywood and I go Why would you say that? I know that I wasn't the first choice and I'm okay with it It's just the fact that the person that told me I wasn't the first choice for the show Just came out of the blue because you know, you weren't the first choice

Mmm, and I'm like who was told me and I was like, that's fine. I just don't know why you would say that to me to hurt My feelings the dick move. It's such a dick move. I will never say who said that One day I will never know you won't I will someday. No one will know my point is um That hurt a little bit, but the guy that was but who gives a shit. It's Hollywood Therapist says is that Bobby, you know, you think that Keanu Reeves was not the first choice for Matrix Will Smith Johnny Depp was offered. Yeah They all turned it down and Ken was like, I'll do it and he's became reinvented his career Mm-hmm, and look at where all the other guys are now Johnny Depp. I mean

Keanu Reeves is the number one one of the number one actress stars hottest right now in the world Yeah, to go from he they're doing matrix for Do you know that? Yes, so they're filming matrix for imagine John Wick for for Mm-hmm. That dude is killing the fucking game at the age of 55 or whatever. Hey, yeah, what is your obsession with this whole baby Yoda thing? Disney plus everyone here's the thing. I don't give a fuck about the Mandalorian. Mm-hmm. I Think I was really hurt by the last Jedi. I don't I'm not gonna watch the third one. I'm just hurt by the whole universe And I know that John Favre. I'm a big fan of his love you love you the podcast also

You know the reason why Tiger Billy exists is Because of David show and initially DVD SA. I know John's friends with the family of David show. We're all family He's you're obviously you're one of the greatest directors right now working today the reason why I want watch that is because of my own personal reasons, but I have been I do read about it and And People are talking about this cute little fucking baby Yoda And there's a baby Yoda in the Mandalorian spoiler spoiler and you it's not a spoiler if you turn on the fucking Internet It's all over the Internet

This little thing. I want to fucking keep I want to hold so I want to I want to it's better than any poor better than the poor and The people have been calling it on the Internet baby Yoda And then these fucking nerds He's fucking nerds out of nowhere go no Yoda died in the return to Jedi. No shit, bro. So then what is Yoda's race called? All I know is Yoda some people on the Internet. We don't know So if that little green thing that looks exactly like Yoda has no reference We have no reference for that thing then we're gonna call that little fucking thing baby Yoda

Well, they said that Yoda is the illicit love child of Yoda and Yaddle That's not the species though who is a member of the Jedi Council. That's not a species. I'm just reading the first thing I'm telling you. Are you just reading the what? I don't think unless you you you you belly tiger belly papayas there's not do some research, but So that's baby Yoda and I want one of my life they also if you want a baby Yoda They're a great pet because they last for a thousand years and when they died they just disappeared under a blanket And when they died they just disappeared under a blanket

You remember we just disappeared in the blanket. No bones. No bones Yeah, yeah, so Bobby and I came up with this theory because I just got Disney Plus and I've been going on a tear Rescuers down under you know Darkwing duck duck tails everything. That's Pinocchio everything I'm just going on a tear and he knows not a single one of these things that I'm watching and We both decided that I think that we think that a lot of the demons and a lot of the chaos in this life And the reason he's so feral is because he didn't watch any Disney Animations. Oh my fucking god. What kids you agreed to this theory. What kids have you seen though? Just not to be dead. I'm gonna be really red and stimpy. He watched. No, no

I'm gonna tell you what Disney movies I've seen. Yes the honest when you were a kid. No, it's just in general No, but that doesn't count. I mean because you're already fair or as a kid or as a kid Anything what I saw Pinocchio. You did watch Pinocchio. Who do you remember? What's the name of the dad? Old man John Geppetto Geppetto. Some people call him old man John. Well, the neighbors call him that People that don't know him personally they call him Geppetto. Tell me. What? Tell me the plot of Pinocchio There's a boy. Yes. No, no, no, no. Geppetto is a doll maker. Okay. He makes a doll named Pinocchio

Uh-huh. It becomes and there's a little green thing like a nat. No, no, no, you know, I you know, he's Johnny Sanchez. No, not Johnny Sanchez. He's a he's a he's a cricket. Yes, Jiminy Cricket. Jiminy Cricket Nat why do you say Nat? Yeah, you know that we should write that one. Yeah. Yeah, so um, there's never been a cartoon based on a that and then what's the name? Okay, so ask me another one. Okay, and then so what happens is the boy I don't know. I think the the Jiminy Gives him some magical powers. The boy comes alive. I'm just making up I think I'm assuming and then every time the boy lies his nose becomes Jewish

Like more Jewish, yeah, it grows longer Right and then when he becomes truthful, he doesn't become as Jewish he becomes normal We're gonna cut this out no Oh, everyone knows everyone knows I love Jewish people. Everyone knows it. All right, all my friends are Jewish And I have Muslim friends as well. My point is that's what just give me another movie But what else have you seen? I don't care what he's seen that I saw that Beauty all those ones sleeping beauty. Oh, so you've seen okay, but that's it Cinderella. Maybe and that's it But I was forced to see it in a classroom and I'm like, you know, I mean

But you could say look for someone like me. I watched those things over and over and over again like we just it's a remind me of Why heavy rotation reminds me of white privilege too much. It just it doesn't Monstro the whale reminds me of white privilege. No, no, no when I was 13, you know, I went to the blockbuster on my house I could get you know, real anime Akira, you know, I can get I watch that too No, my point is is that I just don't have that kind of sensibility when I see you know A tiger dancing with a young lady on a ballroom. Oh, it doesn't make me go. Oh, yeah I want to watch that fucking thing. That's a king and I yeah, you know, I'm beauty in the beast Tiger baby, it's a tiger. It's a lion. It's whatever I don't give a fuck. It's a beast. It's a beast and it's a very

Bestiality. Oh my god. I used to have sexual dreams when I was a child. Okay with the beast of the beast Very hot and then when he turned into that blonde haired Nordic guy at the end I was my pussy dried up sand came out of it. Thanks. I was not impressed my 13 year old Well, my eight-year-old self was not impressed by that blonde guy. I Wanted to fuck the beast and that's what you're dating me Your smaller version of the man. No, but it makes me realize that I'm more of an animal to you That's what I like. It's what I'm used to so what is he what does he church? What does Bobby turn into in the end then a white guy?

Let me see if you're the beast. What do you turn into at the end? Oh Japanese Yeah, I turned into my friend Rick Yoon one of the greatest greatest Korean-American actors of our generous Rick we saw you we saw you at the M cafe. He didn't say hi to you. He didn't say hi to me Tokyo Drifters Tokyo Drifters great So I'm going through a doctor and what are we doing time would you like a question? We're doing time down. We are at 50s. Yeah, we're good. It's perfect. Give me a question I'd hope for advice with Bobby and Karela. This is a medium one for the new place

Firstly, I'd like to extend a warm. Hello to my king and his noble court The situation is long and complex, but I've attempted to condense it. Please. I'm an Asian-American group in the upper middle-class white area In third grade. I befriended a white kid who was my age I hung around his house a lot and ended up becoming friends with his brother as well Who was five years older around fourth or fifth grade? He introduced us to porn I became Mesmerized by online titties and so I would go over to their house to watch porn This eventually led to group masturbation sessions

No, I just want to say something. I know I'm not stopping yet. I want to listen to it I just want to be able to get the story right Him and his buddy is watching porn together with an older with his buddy's older brother who was five years older Who's teaching them about this? Okay. Go ahead. Okay. I love it. This is like to give to To give a clearer picture if you're in fourth or fifth grade. How old are you 10? Okay, so this is five years older. So this person that they're doing group masturbation is 15. High school. Okay. Move forward This eventually led to group masturbation sessions I remember feeling slightly uncomfortable and out of place at times when I would catch his brother watching me instead of the screen

Over the course of three years our group masturbation sessions ended up leading us to a blowing each other session Okay, so three years. So now the kid is 12 13 and the guy is an adult Wow Whoa, I didn't do the bat. Wow. It's close. Oh my god. I need this because it's it's important to know this So over course because this is what I've had to reconcile with in my own life Is the age gap of whom elested me? This sounds like spotlight part two This should be a script right like a script. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. So now I guess now he's 18 This is the end of that. Let's assume that three years blowing each other around sixth seventh grade

I decided to distance myself and not participate in this as I began to realize the situation was kind of fucked up There was definitely times where I didn't want to do things, but I suppose I was easily persuaded I was also pretty young. I'm the same way like Bobby. I am not gay My question to you guys is is this considered molestation? The older brother had gone through puberty and I had not at the time I know you guys have talked about kids being hyper sexualized and I'm so curious to know your views on this matter Maybe relevant. The older brother has since come out as gay. His younger brother is not Yeah

Wow That's tricky because for me I I always used to grapple with the fact that oh, maybe I wasn't molested because he was only Five years older than me similar to this guy. His name is B. We'll call him B. Okay So when I was like nine or ten and I was molested by someone who was like, let's say 15 um When I was in adult I was like, oh, maybe he you know No, maybe he was a kid too, but he wasn't he really wasn't I'm sorry, but like a nine-year-old and a 10-year-old is so different than a 15-year-old

and um, I I that's when I realized that oh, I was I was molested but this is a little different because um, the person did it against my will I wasn't aware of anything that was going on. It happened a lot during my like in the middle of my sleep Um, like where I would wake up and I would be like like my pants were down and I had been Bondaled and stuff, but I don't know. I don't know the answer to that That's something that we are very unqualified. Well, I mean those are these are two It's interesting that you said that because um, there are there is a difference between the two I think

I think that when um You're being pinned down And physically hurt, you know like forced And you're struggling and somebody's like a rape or even a molest I don't know if that even occurs in molestation Where a kid doesn't want to do it and they keep you know, and the whoever the perpetrator is is forcing it That would be to me very traumatic. You know, I think this situation was We they were he wasn't forced. He was asked. He was a gradual build You know, it's he started with just porn. So, you know, you slowly it's like drug addiction

You start with one thing and then the next thing you know three years later. You're shooting heroin Yeah, but that's someone who is of much older age taking advantage of the naivete of a young child I think that as much as it's not a maybe like a direct molestation. It's still really Fuck it fucking wrong, but you can't escape it What do you mean? There'll always be sexual predators throughout our life And that's never gonna go away. I hope we're always gonna have alcoholics. We're always gonna have murderers. We're always gonna no That's human nature

You can't escape human nature but with with enough knowledge and education I think that people can be like, hey There are parts of me that I really would like to suppress get the therapy that they need and not Take that take their demons out on a 10 year old kid and have him blow him Like that's that's stuff that you can and then that's really tragic, but you know, we also have An elementary school that was gunned down by guns and they didn't do anything with the gun laws So let's start there and let's go do other problems and if we can't take care of that We can't take care of anything

Because that's the you know, I mean there was never any you know mean change And so I I just think that it's human nature and that we're not gonna deal with it. I I I don't like to Be that hopeless about things. I think that when it comes to Um people talking about it like this kid is talking about it now. I know it sucks. They're really important I'm sorry, dude. No what I'm saying is it's good to be open about it so that we're not all You know, like we're not so scared to kind of bring to light bad behavior And if someone is listening that's a 17 year old and you're like, oh, I didn't know that what I was doing was wrong Now you fucking do don't take advantage. I did the same thing

I blew a bunch of guys when I was a kid because they weren't Forced it, you know, you drunk and you would do it. I was molested your age though, right? Yeah, my age, but I've done things Where I knew in my mind. I wasn't gay I was doing it to to people, please because I want people to like me. Yeah, and also I had some weird sexual feelings I know you're curious about your penis and all that stuff sexuality. It's new And I'm not gay. I said that again. Um, I'm definitely not gay one more time Just so people my point is is that I don't think that that should be a shameful thing for him

Yeah, right. So aside from that, I get it. All right. You're a Korean dude in a white world and you just you know That sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you. But you know, it really pissed me off about when it's um, my cousin um molested me is that a lot of people in my family didn't see it as anything bad that oh, he's just another teenager like They they kind of like brushed it off like it was nothing and I felt so unheard when I was a kid Family shame, man Yeah, and they no one wanted to talk about it when I went back to the Philippines when I was 19 and he came over and he was in his Um 20s. I said, I don't want him here and I said it out loud

It was like he fucking molested me as a child. None of you want to hear this But he is not allowed in this house. I don't want to see him. I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna rip his dick out of his body And finally that was the first time where anyone my mother and anyone were like, okay. Yeah She means it this time like we have to hear it this time. We can't sweep it under the rug anymore Sorry that happened to you dude. That's fucking terrible. I hope that um, You know, it had nothing to do with you and someone Some sick adult took advantage of of you in that way

That sucks, man. I'm so sorry. Give me another one actually. I want to give some real advice to somebody. That was a real advice Okay, good. Thank you. Well, that was a good podcast then. Yeah, did you guys have a story though about someone shitting on someone? Oh, no, I wouldn't I know that everyone's probably heard about this But you know in Hollywood boulevard since we live so close to it Um, some some some person some, uh Homeless guy threw a bucket of hot diarrhea on a random tourist And I wanted to know Well, number one. I at first I my first at least it's not battery acid. Thank you. Thank you. It's organic. It's organic

But if someone did that It's organic. It's organic. Okay. Let's say you're wearing your that that the exact white beanie right on Hollywood Yeah, that would suck. You're you're eating your Dunkin Donuts if you like Dunkin Donuts. I'm coming out of soul cycle So right eating in the corner of Hollywood And um Argyle. Yeah, right. Yeah, we're talking about our day and I'm like, hey, babe Like you like your munchkin and you're like, yeah, I like my munchkin. I was workout. I was like good, you know I've been really tired. All of a sudden like Your mouth is semi-open because you're in conversation. Yeah with me. Yeah, and someone just throws diarrhea hot hot diarrhea fresh

Fresh out the tap. Well, first of all that's never happened before me So I would probably pause to go what the fuck just happened. You would pause the shit hit your foot No, I would hit it and I go, what is that and I would smell it and immediately be like that's shit diarrhea. Oh my god It's shit And I'll probably look at him and go That's a good one It's organic. That's organic. You got me, right? And and at the end of the day he wins

Because my revenge is murder Oh, okay after somebody throws diarrhea at you The next response is probably murder. So you just kind of have to end it there. So diarrhea is a good one But then okay It is right Um, but if you're like a bystander and you saw somebody get diarrhea thrown at them like, how do you even help them? I don't that's like you don't have towels on deck. I would walk the other way one one

You would just walk away. I want to walk away from you even Why just I don't want to smell so I would just walk away If someone threw hot diarrhea at me, you just walk away. I will walk away for like 10 feet and go dude get that Go to the spa go back in the cycle. You'd finish your donuts, huh? Yeah That's what I thought. You're exactly who I think you are No, I'm not I love you. So, you know klila I want to say last thing one last thing

Because I've been crying a lot. I thought you said you haven't cried No, I don't cry for my dad. I cry about like if I see someone do well on the voice. I'll cry the sunset Yeah, little things like that, but I have nothing to do with maybe they're like residual for my dad, but um You know klila has been just you know, I'm falling in love with my girlfriend again That's pursuit man. That's dope because she Is in there with me, you know a man wants to feel like Somebody's in you know the trenches trenches with you and that's going to fight your way out of this thing And she's just proven that she wants to do that. So, you know my hat's off to her

I love her so much. So um, thank you for listening You know, I will reveal eventually one day the real Stay tuned Because it's in the next two or three. Oh, that's how you do it in the next two or three You gotta stay tuned and listen because there's some crazy shit. I'm gonna tell you and I'm not ready to say it yet Bye Well guys, thanks to listening to the podcast

In this that was a great clip. That was a great cliffhanger. It's like getting diarrhea thrown at you um klila He said he's falling in love with you again And you smart. How does that make you feel? Um It's hard to feel celebratory at um right now And I'm sure he'll tell you all about it really soon. It's not my story to tell

But yeah, it's been a really tough rough couple months for us. So in in those rough couple months, we've We've somehow found like a deeper love for one another But it's it's a hard thing to celebrate when you know, the external things outside of that loving feeling are real life difficult things and Yeah, yeah, I I you know, I love bobby So deeply but I didn't know the depth Until it was you know, the stern hardships were presented And then I realized that I was willing to basically lay down my fucking

Body for for that man. I I I don't I don't care what it is I have a very Blind not blind devotion, but a very I am devoted to him and so So even all the the crazy things that have been happening Yeah, I'm yeah, I'm in the trenches with him no matter what you're saying that your smile to what he said made me made me feel really happy Oh, yeah, but you guys have our you guys It's been rough. I we can't talk about it. I was just saying yeah, that's why yeah, you guys know, you know the know You know the know well who you know who else knows the anger we shouldn't do this

This isn't a fucking telenovela. You're right. Um any shout outs shout in shout out to louisa for cleaning up Um, no, I have absolutely no one to thank And that's the kind of I want to do shout out to the people who helped set up this studio Including jason jason. I wanted you actually give a big shout out to salie. I know that's a work in progress People can't see it, but next episode next episode. You'll see the beautiful work. She's done. She's been a friend of mine for a really long time and um, she's been nice enough to agree to um to do this for us and um, yep, go check out her work. Yeah, and um also

Also, uh, johnny for this table shout out to johnny and claula is correct. She is an elephant. It's at straight face woodworking Uh, he does really great. Uh shelves actually and just all sorts of stuff. So, um, give him a follow Show him some love and uh hit him up. That's at straight face woodworking also shout out to that sweater I don't know if you've ever wore that on the podcast yet. I haven't and um, I hope you're not lying george because I don't um I was there read in korea. I was there. It's true, but it does it does mean the steamed egg lover, right? Yeah, because Yeah, for a long time when or when I was fully vegetarian bobby We would all we would always bobby would still insist on going to korean barbecue and the only thing I would have Would be the steamed egg which was delicious, but I I love steamed egg. It's like my favorite thing

So for my birthday george got me this sweater That says um steamed egg lover and on the side. There's an egg Oh, see if you ever if you ever doubted george's, um Um sweetness during birthdays. I forgot to give you your gift. I'm sorry Um, but yeah, I think that's it. Um, make sure um, make sure you guys if you're living in the la area Go see bobby at the baria improv this weekend Friday saturday sunday. Yeah get your tickets online Today, uh, also who'll be in san francisco december 12 through 14th the punchline He'll be in calusa, california december 21st

Irvine uh january 17 through 19 at the improv Where I think me george and both have performed there george did his inaugural set there as well Uh, shomburg elinoy february 13 through 16th at the chicago improv Uh, you can follow everything pop culture urban hip-hop at calamity k Uh, where else can we find you george? Just george underscore kimmel jason, where can we find you? At jnelx on instagram get it ladies and then everything bobby lee at bobby lee live dot com at bobby lee live on instagram And you can follow me at gilbets. We love you guys. Thank you for joining us. You know walking by now

There's people behind us That was creepy Well, I saw when my sister um, it must have been bobby, right because he scared me twice yesterday. He scared the shit out of me Um guys, thank you for joining us in our new studio. It is not complete like lala said, but you will be on this journey with us So uh Okay Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely adfree on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen adfree with wondery plus in apple podcast

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