TigerBelly - Ep 224: Theo Von & The Guillotine
Episode Date: December 11, 2019Bobby takes off the mask. Theo sees the groceries in the parking lot. We talk two-by-faces, tree dander, FBI holding cells, and Bobby's mullet dream. Support us by supporting... our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon music download the app today
See me live. I'll be in San Francisco, California at the punchline December 12th through the 14th
Irvine California at the Irvine improv January 17th through the 19th
Shamburg Illinois at the Chicago improv February 13th through the 16th and for for for more information
Go to Bobby Lee calm guys. Joy the podcast
Yeah, man
What piano man
I never had a piano in the whole place. He's thinking about Stevie's show. You're my brother's show. Oh, yeah
Oh, did you do Stevie's show? I was like dang Stevie looks like he's
Rough bra, oh, yeah, sorry man
Turn the cameras and I oughta is you get the recording instruments going on or whatever at me, huh? Yes, sir
All right, you can do the countdown or what man five four three two
My body tells me no
But I won't quit cuz I want more more more
More welcome to fucking Tiger Belly. I am your captain
No, so that's papaya slept king USA slash Korea. We got fucking flat place flat flat. We got flat place
Oh, yeah, it is a little hot. Yeah, it's all right
Because you can still see that I like that man. Yeah, you get high better at heart and see
We got my beautiful princess right here Kalila, you know, I mean she's uh
You mean everything's like a virgin with her man. Everything's tight and nice. You know, I mean great personality and wow
I love her so much. She's my life partner, man
We travel life together, bro, and we explore. Oh, it's good. I haven't said your name
So you don't shit say shit until I introduce you. Okay rat
Violent I like this
Yeah, I really like your new I feel like you really that guy we also got that guy and that guy
Let's clap everybody now
Oh fuck dude, I had no idea that you brought your mythological friend over here from the fucking, you know, I mean
Yeah, Pandora, bro. This guy. That's my friend Collin doing your left sack is like my head your head
I don't know what you said might your head is like my left back is what when I meant to say he got that body set
He got that body. Yeah. Anyway, good to see you man. Got that beautiful mom. Anyway, this next guy
I'm gonna introduce is our guest tonight
Wow, I was like commercial that's just the sound I make when I show up
Release attention so bro, you know years ago, dude, I did not know anything about country people man
So I went to a restaurant and I got a biscuit. You know, I mean those did bro
Oh, your biscuits, bro, bro with the jalapeno sometimes put in there, bro
What the fucking butter you don't do that people came over here and started doing that dude. Okay, my bad
I didn't know the history of it bra. Yeah, let me just finish dude. That'll bring you up, dude. I
like the collard greens. I like the
That's all I had but I want to say to you dude that um, I
Been going through a hard time in my life. I really have and
And
You know, I wanted to push some of these pods because you know, I was trying to get my head straight
but when I realized it was you dude, I was like, let's do it because I
View you as somebody that I think is incredibly one of the funniest guys and number two
You and I are
friends for real
You've changed a little with your bling and I've never seen you were a purple scarf before but um, and
There's no son out
This is this is actually where these glasses in memory of your father because I haven't even seen you really since your father passed away
Thank you morning. These are morning. Are you crying? These are morning. No morning. Oh, you are would you want to see his dad?
You want to see my dad turn it around give turn around give go
Oh
Is he in that thing?
Give me the baby. Oh my god, you have no idea what you just did
Be careful their ashes come come up there he is bra
Robert H. Lee. Yeah, it's my dad right there, bro
Yes, beautiful one. Hey, huh? What he's small. He was a pig me dude. Was he really? Yeah?
He was one foot two
And that's we didn't even put ashes in them. That's just his whole body a little shoulder man. Yeah
Shoulder man. Yeah, so my dad is one foot two. They fit him in that little box and he's still alive
He's just resting. Yeah little holes in the bottom, you know, put him back on the other side man
See you on that side. Thank you so much. I didn't say your name
How about a rental plus for Theo Vaughn everybody clapped your hands, man? Thanks guys
He has his own podcast called weekend wars with Theo Vaughn and what's it?
fast weekend
Yeah, yeah riffing with Theo Vaughn, whatever you know, Theo Vaughn and the man, you know, man
Yeah, drink in our way to rehab. What's that new podcast?
That's very personal
Whiskey
Theo Vaughn, um, I love you man. Thanks for being here man. I love to explain your fucking head up, bro
Nothing. Well, this is what do you mean this? Yeah, this is just a scarf
This is like a wintertime piece more for you know, when you want to just kind of keep a little bit of the elements off your neck
right and
Shit, huh? Yeah debris anything keep your keeps your mullet warm, too. Shit. Yeah, so I got that with the bling
gang piece, bro
Somebody made this for me. Yeah
What does gang gang mean, bro? It just means gang two times in case somebody didn't hear you the first time
All right, right for people with learning disabilities. Yeah learning disabilities in their ears
What else happened man, not too much dude, yeah, yeah
We haven't talked we've talked about how you killed it in Australia. What bra? Have we? Oh
Those people are great, huh? Australian
We've never been I've been even been
We've never been as a as a group as a group by Ben
You've have you ever performed over there? No, no, I bet I went before you know, man
Yeah, this is what would love you man. You think so. Oh, yeah, you know what it is bra
It's like I don't know how to go there and I need to be invited
No, no, it's not anything like that. What it's like is just that you should go over there man
And those people would love you I think
That's it get off the plane not a range anything and just you know, bra you're the jalapeno biscuit man
But being biscuit now doing stand-up I mean was it because I found when I would play it South Africa bra
Did they got all the jokes they get all the jokes right they speak English. Yeah. Oh, yeah, man
If you're in South Africa, man, they play they definitely I
I feel like they get a lot of jokes over there
Is that what you felt like?
Yeah, yeah, but like it
But you know, I meant to ask you bro because they have the abarabra. I love Austria. What they call aborigines
Asking him the whitest guy in the world
You could think all the way through his genealogy. Nobody would know
Zero answers in his DNA man, okay
You got to go with flip Schultz over here and ask him man
Sorry, man. Yeah, man wrong name, man. Dude. Let me just say something right now your attitude right now
Your eyes are baggy. What happened to you bra? I think I'm just tired. He's always had baggy eyes. It's extra baggy
It's like the emperor from fucking return of the Jedi Palpatine. Yeah, he's got Palpatine
No, but when he became that you want these bro
Your we're crying bra, but I'm on man. You got Chinese eyes right now, bro
Dude people used to always call me little China boy when I was in uh-huh?
Like in the summertime when I was at summer camp because they had like
member
It's not dand or what is it that comes off of nature. You know I'm talking about pollen pollen
So, yeah, they have it everywhere and anyway, you'd go outside
They do dude. Yeah, I know
He's learning every day, bro. Yeah, he doesn't believe us. Yeah, like as it was a joke
You know, there's pollen out there, bro. They're pollen everywhere, dude
They're pollen looking at you right now bro from point blank range. Think about that. That's how powerful it is
It can be milling around in front of you at point blank range
Yeah, man, and it would get in my eyes and I couldn't open my eyes at all for sometimes even in almost a month
Like I could barely get my eyes open a little bitty bit. So they would call you China boy. Yeah
They were coming China boy, you know what you don't do you have eyelids? Yeah
Two eyelids you do
Well, it looks like I don't yeah when you do that. He looks like you don't you could be Asian
What the reason why is you have chromatic?
It's chromatic, bro. It's chromatic. Yeah, it's like right. No, baby
Yeah, I don't know if that's a good thing brah. It's like I meant to say you're like you're mentally
Remember
You never try poo I've never had any yeah, yeah, do you have any tips about
Getting a mullet and how to maintain a mullet because I'm gonna Lee is gonna get it ready to go deep
I think a good person and tomorrow
To look at his riff raff, you know and riff raff is a
He's almost like a human animal out of Florida and if you look at that man
He has very he really has perfected it, you know, I think he should work his way into riff raff
Should he start some with something like a milder mullet? Is there such a thing? There's nothing mild about a mullet
Right. You're committing right think the crazy part is the second you freaking grow that thing you'd look good in one
Actually, man. Yeah, definitely. Well, what about me, bro? You are gonna have one soon. She said
Yes, you know what dude, and I think it could be cool. I think you you're definitely gonna love it
I think you should have it. I think you know what you are lucky that you can
Be like that movie
Um last in the Mohicans shit one of them they do. Yeah. Oh, dude, but he didn't have a mullet brah. They know they leave
My right foot
I'm gonna do movie called my right foot
Right, but I can't do no I can't draw nothing with it. Yeah, and your foot's always asleep
And it gets like gangrene I have to lose it whatever, you know, man
We'll write the script. I could see you having a beautiful mullet though
And I think I think you yeah, I really could man
And I think it's time man. I think it really would inspire you to feel like a different person
And make these guys do them dude make these whites in here fucking grow them
I might have everyone in even the fucking gooks in here, too, right? Yeah, some of the I don't know who I don't know
Who is a gook, but yeah
No, I came out smoothly, bro. Very good. I think you said that word before brah. I mean, I've said it
I just don't know who it's at
That's the problem, that's really the benefit, you know, but I'll tell you why the mullet brah because um, you know
My people I don't know if you know my people, but you know, I don't know who's a steve. Yeah, but Steve
Yeah, and also a billion other fucking people
I've seen a lot of people sleeping in the airport but before Bieber before Bieber some fool in China or whatever said
This mushroom bull haircut everybody
Everybody gonna wear these right and it was some sort of government law or some shit
So now everyone's got a bowl on their hands kick clip clip clip clip right and they all look like fucking ghetto fucking Beatles or whatever, right?
We're at in China in Asia. We're over brah
It's only when the K-pop star started going crazy with the fucking rooster hairs
We need you to change it, you know, you should testify this in the impeachment hearings. This makes no
It would fit right in bro on C-span
Yeah, I think either go mullet or just commit to your roots. Yeah, do you look like Yoko no no bro
You gotta do something
You gotta do
Looking for something
But do I get to meet that white chick? Yeah, yeah
Elizabeth shoe, I think it is
It was it was how big she wasn't it wasn't a little bit shoe man. You'd promise it wasn't but she is beautiful
Oh, she's beautiful man when I think about her dude, I think about her a long time
You do I love let me ask you something about women though
I don't want to get specific. You know me because uh, you know, we're private here, but um
You have you made love to all varieties or what?
What do you mean by different varieties you mean color maybe even personality types maybe people with our missing limbs or
Uh, I got an I've had some you know, I probably had some no, I haven't
What do you think is missing in your roster and my luster and your roster lost her probably
Well hooked up with this one girl's kind of urban female and she had like a chain male in her bedroom
Not far from here actually years ago many years ago. What's a chain male, babe chain male suit like a like armor armor. Yeah, wow
She's urban. Oh, she looked pretty urban to me. I mean, she looked urban to me, dude
You know, she was hardcore actually to actually I saw her fight another woman that night and she um
She had a chain male in her room and she had a mirror that you see like at the like at a
Kind of like it's like a reflective surface. It's not a real mirror. It's like a sheet of metal sheet of metal. Yeah
Okay, yeah, so did you have a guillotine too, bro?
You know, I was so scared
I know dude, bro. I tried to you ever had sex out of sheer fear, dude
That's what it was, bro, dude imagine guillotine back in the day. You have to fucking put your hands
In two tiny holes. Mm-hmm. Put your head in the hole, but the thing don't happen right away
You might have to stay there all day. Yeah. Yeah. So what would you say to people? I
I'd be like, you got Diet Coke, right? That's a first cuz I love Diet Coke
Right, and they be like you still try to weasel your way out of there like oh, yeah, I didn't do it
It was Steve my brother, right? But he's a fucking Alhambra right now. I can't tell you where he is, right?
What would you say in a guillotine? What's crazy is remember they made that cartoon. Yeah, Papya made that cartoon of you and that guillotine
Oh, yeah, that's crazy. We talked about this dude. Yeah, you don't if you die at the end or not, man
We can find out
What would I say yeah, I would probably do jokes. What else are you gonna do? You're there
That you're not getting out probably no one's ever talked their way out of it
What do you think is the one most compelling thing to say to get out of a guillotine? I
Didn't do it. No that never works. Yeah, but nothing works. So that's the one thing
You got a bribe passerby. Oh, you got to do something. Yeah, if I saw you on a guillotine, you know what I would do
Huh, I'll put mittens on your little hands. Oh
That's cute. But they'd be they would look like t-rex
Right and I'd go I go do
That might get me out actually
I bet if you did a puppet show maybe or something entertaining if you put one of like the king or whoever put you in the
Get get a guillotine might get you out. You know, I don't know
Dude, I'm not done. I get but honestly kind of a cool way to die. Just knowing in one fell swoop
Yeah, it's fast. Yeah, it's not like worse. It's like either buried alive or drowning like having like a
Ball and chain stuck to you and then thrown into the water
Having something on your back that eats through your spine, but it takes months and months like a piranha fire like a drip of fire
You know, I'm talking about like a liquid like no, I've never I don't know what you're talking about because I've never heard of that before
I never heard a liquid fire. Nice. Do you on your back fucking say something buddy?
He's so relaxed over there be while in his house. He's got all this liquid fire
That liquid fire in your house bra
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about dude a drip of something real dangerous
You walk by a chemical plant something hit you right, you know, I want to go back to the guillotine
What would be the worst if when the fucking you know that knife thing comes out and if only hit you like
That would be the worst it just hurts for a long time. Yeah. Yeah, like somebody
You get something like Ralphie made a school. Oh, he's past, huh? Yeah, but his ashes are still heavy enough. I think
Oh
We love you Ralphie man. We miss you bra
Dude, what about being your dad? I reckon doing piggyback rides right now. Oh, yeah, they're doing some fucking
They're clipping fucking angel wing
Just fucking porn orange chicken sauce on each other's breath
Right, I hope heaven's like that now dude. Well, here's the crazy thing is you would go from being hey
Keep me alive to effect only hit you halfway then you'd be like bagging somebody to kill you
It's so crazy. You would be well
I would have someone take a look at it first if someone qualified like can I make it?
Will I make it if you sew me up now? If not then push it down
See that's smart, but I'm gonna need an assessment first
Like what's my quality of life with this kind of wound?
But who's gonna be able to assess that did ever somebody's like a horseshoe or a talisman. Yeah
Yeah, somebody's drawing tarot cards
Yeah, probably I would probably first blacksmith because
Pobbly dude
Probably
You'd ask a butcher cuz he knows the anatomy of animals the best and that's a great idea
Wow, that's a great idea do that's the crazy man
But you know what man, we don't have those no more what butchers. No, we don't have guillotines man
We do it. We've evolved man. We've grown as a system. We could use a couple I think man
We could use a couple guillotines
Maybe a couple. Yeah, I think that Dahmer definitely guillotine
No, there's a lot more people that need it than that. What kind of crime needs gets the guillotine
I think that if you molest so molesters. Yeah, even yourself
Master bait, that's the biggest crime
When you put trauma on yourself, right?
Trauma I would never call it trauma if you're doing that if you're doing trauma to yourself
Yeah, I would never do that. Um, I made a commitment to my sponsor that I wouldn't
Master bait to pornography anymore, so it's been two weeks. Is it really man? Yeah, and I have a
Marshmallow factory down there right now. Do it. It's like, yeah, it's thick. Oh, yeah
Yeah, and it's cool. You actually seem a little hardier and a little bit more resonant. I think thank you and present
You would you say what it is? I think uh, he looks slimmer
No, that's not it
You said hard you might I just want to think I'm here. I can look it up. I just want to be
already so in a
Resonance resident
Yeah, so dude one is the last time you got gone like without unloading resident
What does it mean deep clear and continuing to sound or ring? Fuck? That's me. Dang, bro
I'm gonna hit that one on the heading to reinforce or prolonged sound. Yeah, who wants his hammer brah?
Put that nail in him once
Keep that window open. I'm a look at it. Okay. Um,
Yeah, what did you say a minute ago? I said have you ever done that like been abstinent without yes for how long have you gone?
I think the most I probably went was about 30 days of non masturbation at all. Yeah, no pornography
I had done about six months and I was feeling great and then I
The past couple months. I've struggled with it probably past four months
Maybe you're an off touching myself getting semen out of my own body with my hand
All of the above. Yeah, I hate it on the road. It's hard because of the boredom
When I go on the road and sometimes Kalala goes with me, but when she's not and after two shows
I'm in my hotel room. You watch whatever the movie you pay for the movie. Oh fuck, you know, you know
The Prince of Arabia is that what's that movie with that Latin? Yeah, I'll watch that and then at three in the morning
I'll just break down and go to old J and jerk out and just yeah jerk off and I do it quick
You know, I don't obsess for hours. I got five struck pop pop pop. I make that noise. Do I go pop pop pop pop pop?
And then yeah, I sleep. Yeah
It's almost like yeah, dude, it sounds like a little it sounds like the fourth of July in Taiwan
You know in the wintertime like if you look at a house and you have like, you know those ice little things on the on the ceiling
Yeah, that's what my ceilings look like in the hotel room
Oh
And I don't clean it and then yeah, yeah, I do like your Christmas. Yeah. Oh still like tights. They call them
I like tight so lag tides or you know a cave and you see the little you know, man
Yeah, it's beautiful guano. It's really mucus really. It's almost like the cave has mucus in on the walls of it
That's what this man said
What man tour guide?
Nice. You see tour guide then friend, huh?
Nothing. I
Love you so much. Let me ask you this. I love you too, man. I'm glad that you came today, man
I'm glad you invited me to I really appreciate it man. I'm glad to be here. I love that you live it. Did you are
Rich now, dude
You are fucking
I'm not I'll tell you why I'm not
We make about the same money I just I just saved I've been saving over the years because I do I've been in that condo
Yeah, saving to be rich
I was I bet you got ramen made out of steak in this
It's hard to make it into that form but yeah, yeah, I got people to pound that shit out
Oh, yeah, but um, you know, this is years of saving and you know, I you know, I've got animals brought, you know
Oh, yeah, you guys did have a bunch of animals. You guys still have those animals. Yeah, they're upstairs in the house
Oh, the reason why I bought this place because you come in the podcast area
Yeah, yeah. No, this is great, man. This is awesome. I'm happy for you, man. I'm glad you have a place
You know, it's nice to get a place probably feels more settling. Yeah, you guys live together now. We've always lived together
Okay
Yeah, we've been together for almost seven years, you know, yeah, yeah, we're like married almost right
Did you not think the last apartment was livable?
For a couple livable it just seemed like it didn't seem like everybody could live there
With the animals and right humans you mean yeah animals to very very
Yeah, there's there was a lot going on there. So there's something I want to share with my my podcast
Fans listening and I want to share with you because you're a close friend of mine is
Is when my dad died in August I relapsed and I just want to say that because I know that a lot of people
Listened this podcast and knew that I had 17 years of sobriety and knew and you know
A lot of people ask questions about how do I get sober or how do I get my brother sober and I?
Relapsed I just got out of an institution
It's not an institution. Yes, it is
Yeah, that's like a college bro or an FBI. That's what it looked like holding building bureau. Yeah, that's investigation
They so I have 11 days sober. I've been going to meetings. I'm my I'm dedicated to it again
But I just wanted to share with you out there because I was super sad about my dad passing
I couldn't handle it and I just had a tough two or three months. I've had
that's why
these podcasts these new ones since I've been out since I left Saturday out of this institution and um and
You know you
Were the you're the first guy
Was there a girl before me? No, no, there's a girl after you there is yeah, but you're the first guy
Thanks, man, since I've been out that I'm having on this thing because I just needed somebody that um
Then it was very funny, but also somebody that I want to be this car podcast is funny
But I also want to be kind of real
About shit, you know, I mean not everything has to be
Ripping on each other and making fun of each other's dicks or whatever
Your dick is fine bra. Oh, it's not that great. I know I mean, but it's like it's it's intermiss, you know
But visually it looks like it's kind of a sweet potato
Yeah, have that sweet potato shape is weird. Huh the shape is weird. No the shape. I feel like it's pretty hearty
I feel like it's a little too hearty, you know
Yeah, but it's fully edible like you'll see like yeah, so sometimes I'll wake up in the morning
And it'll have like toothpicks in it
Some kid will have set it by the window. Yeah, you know like yeah and a science fair
Yeah, my dick is uh
Well, I take is not a fresh product. Yeah, I mean, it's been through several war. Oh, it's aftermarket, right?
There's two purple hearts on it because it's survived to work if they're alive. Oh, yeah, it's decorated bra
I thought it was supposed to be twins, but it's like really premature
Maybe oh you think that's my
You think that's my underdeveloped twin out of my dick bra
Maybe I could see you bro get a little bit of hair installed on the top
But baby it works right kind of it works very well, thank you. Oh, that's awesome. You guys are beautiful, dude
Yeah, and um
I've also been dealing with
Since it's been since I've been you know, I've been I've always been obsessed with like trolls
Just on my Instagram not the dolls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and really yeah, I was always obsessed about how people felt about me or
I'm obsessed about
If so-and-so got this thing, you know is successful that has nothing to do with me
I used to take everything so personally
You know like oh fuck, uh
You know some fucking loser just said that you're not funny and you should quit doing comedy and I would lose sleep over it
But I'm not doing that shit no more
Yeah, since I've been out. I'm not really calm, you know to say just little little things that I'm gonna change this time around bra
You know, yeah, do you get sensitive about stuff like that? No, man. It means a lot to me that you say this kind of stuff
Yeah, sometimes I feel like it's like I
Mean sometimes I feel like it's a little hard to maybe
Probably to get to know guys like us, you know, I feel like sometimes I feel like it's hard to get to know you sometimes like not in a bad way
Yeah, I love you, you know, you're like probably the most lovable person to see
You know, I just but then I think I recognize a lot of the same things in myself like it's just hard
To get to like I think we're just hard to get to know sometimes
Here's what I realized about Bobby
He uses his full transparency and
Full blast honesty to keep people at a distance from him
It's actually a defense mechanism to say hey, here's all of me
So don't come to me asking anything else. So there's no way for them to really come close to him and ask him anything anymore
Yeah, like the grocers are like in the parking lot kind of a little bit, right, Kyla. What just like, you know what I'm saying
Yeah, it's like
To the market, yeah, and all of he's got all this stuff out in the parking lot. Yes, exactly
Right. Yeah, yeah, he's like just said that. He's like, can't you see like, you know everything here's everything. Yeah
Yeah, I know it's so funny because I think that like I'm not making this about me
But I can notice as you say that I can I've noticed in myself sometimes like oh man, it feels like I share everything
Why do I not have some of the connections that I feel like I should have? Yeah, that's exactly what the fuck I'm talking about
It's it's such a it's it's kind of like a paradox right because you are seemingly connected to so many people who are
Influenced by your words, but don't have that true connection for yourself in real life or day-to-day
Yeah, and it's really isolating and it can really kind of wear on you over time
Well, when I was you know at the institution
FBI holding cell
Was it a state side? Where was it Arizona? Oh, wow. Yeah, so one of the therapists asked me
just because I had to I had to list down who my circle of friends and loved ones are and
It's got to be people that I share with that love me and that I know, you know that you have an intimate relationship even dudes, right?
Kalyla and my brother was on it. That's it. And then he's like, you don't have any friends. I go
I have a lot of like
Equitances and comics that I like like you Andrew. I had lunch for the first time with Andrew yesterday. Hmm because when I got out
I'm gonna try to make an extra effort
to
Not get to know you as a comic, you know me but get to know you as a dude, you know
Because before all this you were just a kid. You know, I mean you were born in this world
You were all the same species were connected, you know, but so
I mean, how different species
Like a goat a dog in a goat sometimes play in the field. Oh, yeah
Yeah, you know species. Yeah, yeah, I'm the dog, right? Yeah in that but um, yeah, so I'm gonna make it
Here's another thing that I'm gonna try. I'm gonna meet. I'm thinking about not even
Going to the comic stores often. Hmm
Because when I took a place that brings out like the bad it brings me because there's a couple of women
Really, I'm there are regulars, you know there that for some reason or another they'll either say something
or behave in a way that
Is it's not I'm not delusional about it. It's obviously directed at me. Wow and
Whenever I go there, I feel like shit about myself. What are you? What are they saying specifically just like belittling things?
If they do belittling things, you know, I mean, and they do things that um,
will say
Stuff about me or to me or I'll hear them on stage say stuff about me
That's that's everything to do with them. That has nothing. It has nothing to do with me, but it's also um
You know, I would have to say that my relapse had to lot to do with hanging out there in the wrong environments
Really? Yeah. Wow, and um, I also have to say this about the comedy store. Um, that
It's not the same
You know used to be a place where you could show up and if you got good enough you get to go up
but now it's um names and that's it and
That's not what that place is supposed to be. Yeah, it's supposed to be a college
It's supposed to be a school where you learn to do it and um, I don't know
I haven't made a complete decision about it, but that's just kind of why that's why I haven't been around, you know
I haven't been around because um, I need to figure out what I want to do, you know
Um, I even thought about not doing this for a bit when I was in the
institution
I can yeah, I can feel that man. This gets hard this
I can't think it's hard sometimes man. Yeah, because you put you know, yeah
Well, I start to become like there are times like this year
I didn't know if I was like myself and what follows a character of myself if I did like at times
I didn't know what was going on
We're like, you know and you want to be there for everybody because you feel like the people that listen are there for you, but
But sometimes like I just didn't even like I was just like
What am I even gonna say like I just felt so just kind of
Empty almost as a just not as a person, but just as and it's in like a self-pity thing. I just felt like
Man, I'm on this train and there's no real way
Like people are going to be upset if I don't do it
Just and a lot of the stories that some of it was in my head, you know
Like because really people will be supportive no matter what, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I ultimately that's why
I'm going to continue to do it was just that bro. It's it's
It's I'm trying to I know that this character that I do isn't essentially who I am. It's a little bit of a mask. Yeah, right?
And
Sometimes I would wear this mask out into the world
Right and then when you don't take off the mask and see who you really are you get lost, bro
You don't know who you are because I have masks where I wear in
If I go to an AA meeting you wear a mask
Yeah, almost in everything in everything in every social thing
And I think what I want to try to do and maybe it's just because I just got out of the
but
I
Am
Institution
When you say that
I love the fact you've been institutionalized man. You need to be black bro go for two more months and get black
That's what I want
I remember I I wanted to stay there for a year bro. Actually when I got out Saturday
I know when he came back on Saturday. He cried the whole plane ride home
Yeah, he's like because you know you you start to kind of connect the dots about your life
And you're very clear because you're sober in this place and you have all the support
And now you you're on a plane to go home
With all the things that have either made you happy or sad and you have to mitigate that on your own
And you're not so sure that a week's worth of the help is going to kind of
um
Has put you on the right path or not or if it's enough or can you can you manage so that that it's it's scary
Yeah, it's real scary. That's all you went there for a week. Yeah, and friday
There was this dude in my group there. I'm not gonna say his name. It doesn't matter. I know
Okay, I'm gonna say anything. Can I guess one person? No, you don't say yes or no. All right. Go ahead. I'm just gonna guess
um
Let me think
I'll tell you this. No, if you get it right, I'll give you 10 billion dollars. Jesus 10 billion dollars
He's rich, dude. Oh
You know what I own probably america's money's probably on loan isn't it? You know what I just bought bro? What the core?
You did earth. Oh, did you really know the thing that goes?
To make the gravity stuff right here, bro. Fuck you elon
Wow, you got that score on earth core, bro
Yeah, good luck keeping that somewhere
Yeah
Groo's gonna get it you idiot. I know dude. Um, I'll just tell you who it is man
bolt
And uh, I I remember leaving
Levi that's him
Levi
You got you got the core, bro. Congratulations. No, I didn't you got to keep it spinning. What did you say?
I was in a group from new york. I hugged him. We cried in each other's arms for like five minutes
I never had that kind of connection with another dude before damn right and so when I left that place
I was like
I don't want to leave but then
How am I gonna so I'm trying to bro? I'm just trying to get to the point where you would like to hug in each other's arms
Go back. I think I want to see that now. Are you able to hug each other for a whole minute?
deeply
How does the no we're not
are we
Without a bit without me laughing and making it a bit. Okay. Yeah, I could do that easily. I think two minutes
One minute one minute. Let's put a timer on here. I'll put the timer on go in that over there
I'm gonna move but if you laugh, bro, we start over the time starts over. Who has a timer? I have a timer
Yeah, you can't laugh right you got smile or laugh you got to be serious. Hold on make the rules clear
Oh, I'll make the rules right now. Here's what it is. It's already a bit. All right. I don't like unclear rules
There's there's dialogue too
We can't talk during it. No, we have a little dialogue and I'm gonna give you your script. You can memorize it, right?
See now, it's a bit. No, it's not a belt. No farewell my friend. All right
I'll say adios amigo whatever line you want. You want adios amigo or it's a bit
It's not it's it's a scene. No, it's not a scene. It should be just two people
Hugging each other and forming a connection put your heart to heart. All right. Let's go
Yeah, hold up, hold up Joe burrow
Cajun crawfish
Five I'll start the timer when you guys hug
Sorry, I need a second. I'm good
Okay, they're about to hug
It's too rushed. It's too rushed. What it's intimacy. Huh intimacy. I know what it is. So we lock eyes. We slowly get in
Yeah, bro. Yes, bro. Theo just rushed in ready. He's ready. It's ready. Let's do it right there. There we go. All right
It's about to hug and time begins now
Yeah
I
Walk
Fall into it Sarri be real move the man
Think about all the things you love about each other
We're at the minute mark
They did half the time
You said one minute?
You said two minutes
No, I went back to one minute
Oh, you changed it?
Yeah, yeah
Nobody's hugging for two minutes, bro
Yeah, yeah
People have stuff to do, you know
That's crazy
Does it feel like
Yeah, bro
But it's still a minute?
People still got stuff to do
Is that Irishman?
Yeah
Irishman
That's shitty
I won't even watch it
It's horrible
I'm not watching somebody for three and a half hours
But we used to see it for Sebastian, though
Yeah, but they can cut his scenes together and send it to you
Yeah, give me your real Sebastian
As a real
I'm not going to watch a fucking movie
Let's think about the hug
I felt like it was pretty good
It felt staged a little just because it was staged
And I think that's all I have
I think that's all the thoughts that I know about it
Well, for me, I did make it a little bit of a joke
And try to make a little bit
And I looked at George, he wasn't smirking
So I hats off to you
George looks better than I used to look
I feel like, huh?
Nevermind
Sorry, George
You always look great
Have you ever done that exercise where you...
Have you ever done that exercise where...
I'm saying, man
Yeah, you bet
Were you stare at a stranger for a whole minute?
No, I've done that at...
Were you stare at a stripper for a whole minute?
Yeah, I've done that game, too
It's a good one
They ask you to leave
Why, because there's a window?
Or are you in the club or outside the club?
In the club
Right, bro
That's the old days, though
Yeah, that's another thing that I'm no longer
going to ever do, ever again
No, it was nice, man
Did you go to a lot of strip clubs?
I did
Not since I've been with Kalyla
I've been to maybe two or three
Since I've been with Kalyla strip clubs
Yeah, so you don't go to strip clubs
That's not a thing, huh?
Since you've been with me?
Yeah
Oh, in the beginning you mean?
Yeah
Maybe, I don't know
Yeah, I don't remember
I don't remember
I don't even remember the last one I went to
but I just assume
Yeah
I saw two strippers windexing each other one time
Don't they windex the pole?
No, they windex each other
They windex each other's bodies
They were tightening up
Yeah, yeah
And some of it to have that...
When you're on the pole to have that...
The sound
Right
I don't go with glitter
Like, they have glitter on, bro?
I don't like it
No, you get a lap dance
It's like a sign
Yeah, your boss
It's like they're like...
You know how snow leopards?
You know what the slola leopard is?
Very elusive
Yeah, no
They are very elusive
Yeah, they are very elusive
And they're barely on camera
Because they're very hard to find
Yeah, exactly
But snow leopards
Snow leopards
I think you're talking about the leopard seal
The fucking le...
Aggressive
Aggressive with big teeth
Oh, snow le...
Leopards
Yeah, yeah
The limbs fall out in Minnesota
You're not talking about this
That's what I'm talking about, snow leopards
Yeah, exactly
I was losing my mind, man
So snow leopards will not see another snow leopard
Probably their whole life
Wow
That's how rare they are
But they communicate each other
Do you know how they communicate, bro?
Yes
How?
Make different sounds
No
Fuck, no, dude
You think another snow leopard's like right around the corner
But they don't see each other?
I know Johnny is right behind that fucking boulder
But I ain't gonna see him
So I'm gonna go
What the fuck are you talking about, man?
Me, dude
You're the one who was institutionalized
That's true
Yeah, come out and learn something
That's so hard, man
We're trying to teach you about...
We're trying to teach you about leprosy, bro
Me and frickin' two by face are trying to teach you about leprosy, bro
Okay
Write that down, two by face
Two by face
Write that down, two by face
And I'm joking, man
I think you're a beautiful young man, dude
Thank you, Theo
Yeah
No, but it's a little leper
Very handsome, man
I think you could be a mayor
Probably in some cities, different towns
But in an island
Not an island mayor
An island mayor
Yeah, definitely there's a lot of water around the mayor
But yeah
I don't know if you're a landlocked leader, man
I take you in
Easily
Running island
I appreciate that
Yeah, man
But well, snow lepers
The way they communicate
You're a snow leopard
Are we saying leper or leopard?
Leopard
The fucking, the fucking photo
The cat, the cat
The cat, the white cat
Fuck it, let's move on from it then, man
I don't want to know now
You're a snow leopard, Bobby, isn't he?
Yes
He pees outdoors
Yep
And he, and you'll never see anyone else like him
Yep
How do you communicate with Johnny around the block, then?
You're the snow leopard, right?
Yeah
So if I was a snow leopard
Communication
Rare signals
Yeah
Pyroglyphs made of urine
Yeah
Now
I'll tell you what's happening now, guys
Now I don't even know why the fuck I was even saying
You're saying that they, in their whole lifetime
They barely come across a snow leopard
That's exactly what I was saying
And how they communicate is they rub their
They rub their bodies on a tree
Right
So then a year later
Another, like their mother
Will smell that tree and go
Oh, Johnny's still alive, that's cool
And then she'll rub
That's her cell phone
Damn
They don't have texting, you know
It's more of a Nokia
Yeah
Where you can only do one thing
It's like a T-Mobile sidekick
Yeah
I never got one of those
You didn't?
Yeah, I was too poor to get that
They were, I had one
Somebody gave it to me as a gift one time
It was okay
It was big, though
I don't remember
Big in your pocket
Do you remember the first Nokia had that one game, Snake?
Yes
Oh, Snake
I love it
And then when you play Snake, you're like
I'm in the future
Like you thought it was the most technological thing you've ever seen
This is future shit
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what it was
Snake was the best thing
That was a great, it's basically what it was
Oh yeah, so you're
You had to catch little things
Without eating your own tail
So you couldn't touch your own tail
That's what it was
And the tail would, you get longer, right?
Yeah, so the tail would get longer
You would have to escape contact from your tail
But still be able to
It was like a little Pac-Man thing
That you would have
And it would add on to his body each time
Yeah
It got so bad
My sponsor was like
You can't play Snake no more
That's what it was
Look, I thought that was the future
I go, I'm in the Blade Runner
Wow
Yeah, yeah
But now, you know, fuck
You can do all kinds of shit with video games
Yeah
Dude, what happened whenever you hit Sam's Card?
Did you guys already talk about that on here?
No
Not really
I just left a check for Sam
The last week
Oh, then there you go
That's what happened
Yeah, I gave him a check for his car
I'll tell you what happened
I know it was an accident, but
It was
And I only asked because I checked on Sam
And he's doing okay
He's doing great
I saw him
He wouldn't tell you that he wasn't injured
Or anything like that
Yeah, he wasn't in the car
So that's why he wasn't injured
But you never know
How people could get injured
Psychologically
Yeah
He came out and he got hurt because
He's just sitting there to sort of sandwich
And he's like that
Yeah, yeah
Oh, wonder if somebody hit my car
You know, a lot of people said Asian people can't drive
Whatever the bullshit shit was
I rammed into this car
But did you walk out of your car?
When your car was still on
I was out of the car
Yeah, I was out of the car
So we both weren't in the car
So what's the fucking problem?
Two dogs going at it
This is basically
Michael Vickshitt
Mad Max
Yeah, yeah
The first one it sounds like
Yeah
It sounds like
Was Tomater in this
Because this is sounding
Really, really obtuse, buddy
But what I hated was
The whole everyone came out
Yeah
Even the showroom
And people all had their fucking phones
And shit
It's like fuck, man
I fucked up
But you know
I'm going to get into it with Sam
Why I did it
I think I know why I did it
But when it happened you were
I subconsciously
Were you high?
Yeah, to get out of a moving vehicle
That seems high
Unique, yeah
Unique
You might sound like somebody
High would do this
Or somebody that's not normally high
And then they get high
Oh, of course
I'm going to tell anyone
That has sobriety
And want to go out
I'm going to tell you what happened
As soon as I started smoking pot
It soon became
24 hours a day
Right?
When I had Saturdays
And I was smoking weed
How long would I beg for?
It wasn't the smoking weed
That really alarmed me
It was the fact that
He felt the need
I've never met a pot smoker
That acted like a crackhead
He was lining up paraphernalia
Up our chimney
Like he was hiding shit
For no reason from nobody
But he was acting like a junkie
It wasn't even
It was a beyond-awaken bake
Did it seem like real behavior?
It seemed like it was a show
Because at first I was hiding it
From everyone
That's why I was hiding the shit
How long were you smoking
If you don't mind if I ask
Were you smoking longer than
Had you been smoking a little while?
So when I was
This is what happened
I was at a place called
Doghouse
Because I love hot dogs
Oh, is that Diego?
No, I'm here in LA
Burbank
Burbank
And my mom calls
And she goes
Bubby
You have to come home
Debbie in hospice
And so I called my brother
You know
And the next thing I know
I'm at
Hey, Bub
Yeah
And the next
Where's Dad?
Yeah
Next thing I'm gonna know
I'm at a place called
Urban Freeze
Which is right down the street
It's at Desensory
Oh, it is?
Yeah, and I got
I thought it was cryonics
And I got
Six bags of
Gummies
So that's how it went out
I just took gummies
And then that slowly
It's like the cutest way
To go out almost
They're so delicious too
They don't taste
It tastes like regular gummies
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And then that wasn't working
So I went to
Vapes
That wasn't working
Eventually I would
Just vape all day
With weed
And it couldn't get high
And then I started doing weed
I would smoke 24 hours a day
I couldn't
Eventually
You would get high
But then eventually
You wouldn't get high
I couldn't get high
I was smoking in that much
So I'm letting you know
If you have time
There's a reason
Why you have it
Just don't pick up
The first one
And I don't know how long
I don't know how many fucking times
I have to fucking get sober
To learn that rule
And you know before he
Before this happened
I had always asked him
Because you know I'm not an addict
I don't have the same
I don't
When I asked him a long time ago
Like why is weed such a
Problem
You know according to AA
Because I never found it to be
A problem for someone like me
Because I'm not an addict, right
And he
It didn't occur to me
What he was trying to tell me
Until I actually saw him get high
It wasn't like a normal person
Recreationally getting high
It was next level
Like where I was like
I've never seen that type of
Pothead behavior
It wasn't even a pothead anymore
It was a fiend
It was like somebody
Who you just couldn't have
A conversation with
Unless he got a hit of something
So it was just one step away
It was just around the bend
From something else
That's why it felt really scary
Even though it was just marijuana
But also another thing that happened
Was weird is
I lost 22 pounds
And I couldn't sleep for a month
Jesus
Yeah I couldn't eat
I went to
I was high and I went to
So I'm doing Portland
I'm hiding my marijuana use
What club were you at in Portland?
At Helium
And my two openers
Steven Randolph and Chelsea are sober
And I had to hide it from them
Right
But you didn't do it well
Because they called me
I know they didn't do it
They didn't know that
But they called Kalyla
What did they say?
And I said he's
I don't know if he's using
Or if he's just having a nervous breakdown
But his wheels are coming off
And I already knew that
But I couldn't convince him of it
Unless I heard it from other people
So when Eric Griffin
His brother Chelsea and Steven
And other people started coming to me
And saying hey is he okay?
Who's his brother?
Not Blake Griffin
Blake Griffin's not my brother bro
Oh Steve
Eric Griffin
Yeah Blake Griffin
But then what happened was dude
Is that
So I'm trying to hide it
And then I hadn't eaten in days
And I go after one of the shows
I go let's go get some sushi
And we're sitting there
And we order sushi
And I take a bite of yellowtail
And I vomited on the table
I couldn't retain any food
So psychologically dude
Something was going on
That's why I had to go away
Because I was fucked up bro
I wanted to kill myself
Do you feel like
Do you think about going back
I mean do you think about going back
To the place
There's one thing about
Getting comfortable
Like again
And I noticed for myself
There's another thing about getting
Like really trying to get well
You know
And I'm not saying that
Against you or nothing
I'm just curious
Because it's
I think that
I'm in a difficult situation
Because for some reason or another
When I relapsed
All this work started coming in
And I said yes
And I said contracts to a bunch of
Bullshit
And so I had to
I still have three obligations
Right now
I had to fulfill
So I had to get out
Because I have to go to San Francisco
And then I go to Hawaii
From there to Hawaii
To do Magnum PI
So I just had to
I had to leave
But
And I'm a little bum
Because I want to hit meetings
Every day and stuff
But I can't
But you know I'm fine
I want to be able to do it
And I made a commitment
To go back in late January
Or February for a week
Are you going to meetings right now
Yeah
I went to one last night
I went to one tonight
But um
Working with a sponsor
No
We can talk about this
We'll talk about it later
But I just literally got out
And I'm just
Dude
When I went in there too
I mean
It's hard to
I'm not going to reveal a lot
I promise you
But we can
We can also just save that
For another time
We'll save it for another time
Yeah
And you guys can take that part out
I'm not trying to like
No no no
I brought it up because
I need to say it
And whatever we said just now
Because
You know I
I'm saying it to you
Because I
That's why you're here
Yeah
Because I wanted
Well thank you man
This to be
You know
A place where
I can feel safe
To say shares
And I like your friend
Very handsome from San Francisco
Very
You're not mythological
I was just kidding
Very much a beautiful dude
And out of all
You're the best looking white dude
In the room
Wow
Congratulations on that bro
That's huge for Bobby
Yeah I don't even include him
In the white dude
That's something different
That's
If somebody drew a white dude
Yeah
That right there
That's not a real white dude
Right there
Oh yeah definitely
Look at that fucking white face
He's starting to look like
A lot of composites
White composites
He looks like
A composites guy
Or somebody that
Showed up and planted potatoes
In your yard overnight
Yeah yeah yeah
Honestly
And just say that
I know you're alive
And your heart's beating
No I'm not being real
I know you're alive
And all the nerves
You have all the nerves we do
Right
And it's all
Your digestive system
Is probably working
You know you have legs
The whole thing right
But I'm just saying
The exterior is
Fucking fucked up
But the inside suit
Is probably
A machine that's working
Very very nicely
You need another week
You need another week
You need another week
You need another week
You need another week
You need another week
You need another week
You need another week
My bad
Yeah yeah
The crazy thing is
You guys are just
Growing another George
Over here by this
Bro
What we learned from this one
It's like you know
In Star Trek Next Generation
Dr. Noonyun Soong
When he created data
He created lore for us
His brother
Really?
Yeah lore
I had a breach I heard
Did you read that?
Why?
Something that
I read that somewhere
They had a data breach or something
No no no
What are you talking about?
No no no
What I'm saying
What I'm
You know what I'm talking about?
No I don't think
You know what you're talking about
That's the thing
You never know what you're talking about
That's crazy
That's another thing
I wanted to say to you dude
And I mean
You never know what the fuck
Whoa
You never know
Sometimes what the fuck
You're talking about
Oh sometimes huh
Yeah okay
And I want to let you know
I accept you
For who you are
Really?
Yeah and I accept you
For your life experiences
Yeah
We'll see about that
I'll take them away
Your experiences
Jeez
Do we have a question Gil?
Yup we got a question
Please do
And I want to apologize
For making fun of everybody
In this room at different points
During this episode
It's okay no we're family
That's what families do
Yeah
I'm hopeful about it
It's probably too long
It actually is
That is what they do
That's all my family and I
Ever did was make fun of each other
Yeah man
At the Ovan
Uh here's my dilemma
Myself a female stripper
And entertainer
Is now newly engaged
And stopped dancing for a few months
To take a mental
And physical break
In January
I wanted to continue dancing
To stack some more bags
My fiance is younger than me
Me 27
Him 23
And we get along great
Anyway
The work of being a stripper
Takes a lot of time for me
Emotionally
I have sat in the parking lot
Of clubs
Talking myself through inside
My anxiety and controlled depression
Meditation
All of it
Tiger belly helps me get
Through out of my funk
In those moments
Being engaged
Makes me feel great
But eventually money aspects
Such as
Depending on someone else
Like my fiance to provide for me
Makes me feel insecure
My fiance has told me
That it stresses him out
To help me
And he reacts in a very rude way
Any time I ever
Ever
Any time I've ever asked for money
Which is so embarrassing to do
I've never borrowed money from anyone
Other than him
For the time I went to jail
So I know I must work again
I can't rely on anyone else but
Me
In monetary circumstances
I can't get any regular jobs
Fuck that noise
I'm not spoiled
I just know my worth
And my blue-collar jobs
Just aren't me
When I've tried to work those
Nine to five jobs
I'm so out of place
I definitely don't belong there
I'm also a creative person
I can write and create content
Which earns a smile
I say hire him, dude
It's a boy or girl
It's a girl
So what advice would you give
A stripper on the future?
Is this from Zipper Cruder, dude?
Use the promo code
Past weekend
I say hire him
No, I'm joking
Very good
Very good, my friend
I'm sorry
Very funny
That woman reached out and I'm joking
What is she asking?
So what advice would you give
A stripper on the future dancing
Well, find a boyfriend
That's gonna
Or a fiance that's gonna
At least
Like, I'm sorry
Maybe this is my own character defect
It is
But go
Sorry, sorry
Just wanna make sure
But even like
Even when I wasn't making a lot of money
Right, and I'm gonna take a girl out
To like the best place I could
Which back then was El Compadre
Right
I would still scrape together
Some dollars so I can pay for it
Yeah
Even I don't even
We're not even dating
It's just like that's just
Right
There's one thing she said
That really troubles me is that
Nine to five is not for her
Like, or I can't do anything
Like corporate
And I think that when
When you have to resort to asking
For your boyfriend for money
No job should be beneath you
If it really is that painful
To ask him for money
Like, I worked the shittiest jobs
Yeah, sure, I thought that
I probably wanted to do more in my life
But yeah, some of it
But after that I worked
Really crappy jobs
And you can't put yourself
On that pedestal to think that
You're above a nine to five
Maybe yeah, you are creative
Maybe you do want something more
But for now to put food on your table
So you don't have to ask this dude
A nine to five will suffice
Dude, we used to have a guy that would pay us
I remember to give us a couple bucks
To anyway, as long as if we farted
He could stay in the room
How crazy?
How much?
How much?
How much is it?
Dude, you are crazy
Years later he was a substitute teacher
That taught me about kombucha mushrooms
I swear to God, bro
Yeah, $2, maybe $1.50
This was back when, you know, quarters
People, you know, they were
Everybody was excited
Talking about mushrooms, dude
I wrote a sketch on that TV once
And it was about a specific mushroom
And you know how like, as an actor
You read your dialogue
But some other fool reads the stage directions
And he said, I just can't forget what it was
It's shiitake mushroom
But he said shittake mushroom
And shiitake mushroom got such a big laugh
They didn't listen to any of the sketch
So it never got picked up
Dang
What advice do we have for her?
What advice do we have for her?
That's not a good, that's not a good closer fuck
Did she continue dancing?
Well here's the thing
It's not like she really wants to be self-employed
You know, she said she mentioned the corporation
She doesn't want to work for the man
She doesn't want to, maybe she feels
Taken advantage of by people
Or she feels like manipulated
Or something over time
She hates stripping obviously
If she has something like she
It gives her anxiety
But it's empowering
It feels like at the same time
Because she doesn't want to work in nine to five
She wants to control her own destiny
I think she could probably
A lot of strippers are some of the most resilient
Hard-working women that I know
So a lot of times you could find a
You know, another job
Just a small job that you can do yourself
Start it up yourself
It could be like a house cleaning business
Or something like that
Like your own personal job, you know
I...
Just as long as the stripping
Doesn't move on to something else
Like escorting and all that stuff
That's always, for me
I think as a...
Something just came out like a fucking
Something juicy just came out
Like roast beef or something
I ain't no meat today, bro
Wow, that was crazy, dude
But what I'm saying is that
You know, I have changed my opinion
About stripping, I think
And I think that, you know
There is a level of sickness going on
On both ends
People that go there
And also the people that dance
I think that's a really...
I think that's wrong
I think there are women who do sex work
Okay, that's why I brought that up
Who are dancers, who love what they do
Who are regular people
Who are, you know, making their money
I don't think it has to be that 100% of the time
Like we paint a picture of, ooh, like
You know, poor woman has...
Poor Sandra
That's exactly what I said
When I was in the institution
Or Zenith
Some strippers have crazy names now
Zenith
Right
Concrete
Those are all like Gatorade flavors
They use Gatorade like cool breeze
Yeah, yeah, I like it, you know what I mean?
But Code Red, you're like...
Code Red, yeah
You're making it seem like
They don't have agency of their own body
I understand that
And I'll get into it some other time
But I know that
We need to wrap up
But I want to say
Good luck to you, that lady that called in
I appreciate it
I want to say
I try to be as upfront as I possibly could
With my family out there
Which is you Tiger Belly people
I love you guys so much
And I love you, dude
Thanks man, I love you too
I appreciate you having me on this special episode
Yeah, really, you know
I want you to be as happy as you can be
And I know it's not easy
And I don't have any suggestions
It's a struggle for me too, you know
But I'm always here for you, man
And I appreciate it, man
And I'll do whatever I can to try
And keep in touch better, you know
You got dates or anything
Will you need to plug here, friend?
Yeah, I'm going to be up in Toronto
In February, late February
You doing yuck yucks?
Theater
I'm doing some theater
I'm not sure what it is though
And then
I'm going to be in New Jersey
And Denver
In January
And Oroville
Oroville Casino
And that's in America, I do know that
I love that
Have you ever played comedy on state in Wisconsin?
Yeah
That's my favorite room
It's a great room
With Joe
And those ladies that work there
Those daughters
I love it, bro
That's how you put it, bro
Really?
Theo Vaughn, give him a round of applause
Dude, thanks for having me, man
Did we start yet?
Check out Theo Vaughn
Theo Vaughn.com
Slash tour for all your tickets and tour dates
It's just me now, okay
Hello, sleepers
I hope you enjoy that episode with
Ya boi Theo Vaughn
Gang gang
I just want to give a shout out to our sponsors
Tipsy Elves
Ridge Wallant
Blue Apron and Quip
Make sure you
You know, use our promo codes for those
And get some gifts for all your friends and family
See Bobby Lee Live, he'll be in San Francisco, California
At the punchline December 12th through 14th
Irvine California at the Irvine Improv
January 17th through 19th
Schomburg, Illinois at the Chicago Improv
February, February 13th through 16th
And make sure you check out
BobbyLeeLive.com for all ticket information
And more dates
Also, we always talk about seeing Bobby Lee Live
But what about seeing Kalyla on air?
Yeah, she's smiling right now
Why see Bobby Lee Live?
You can see Kalyla on a digital ear format
So make sure you check out her episode with Dr. Drew
And George, where can we find that?
Dr. Drew After Dark
So it's Dr. Drew After Dark on all audio platforms
And it's on your mom's house YouTube channel
So make sure you go to YMH
They're a little network there
They're a very tiny network that's very small
To go look up the episode with your queen colloco
And all your other audio platforms
Make sure you follow us on Tiger Belly on Instagram
At Tiger Belly
On Twitter at The Tiger Belly
And any questions, you can email us
Email us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com
Also, follow Kalyla on all social media platforms
At Calamity K
Bryce at Bryce Halleck
And then everything George at voted best tweets
Shout out
That needs some love too, George
You know, your old accounts
You can follow everything Bobby at Bobby Lee Live
And myself, Gilbets
Everyone, we love you
Thank you so much for being with us
And have a good night
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free
On Amazon Music
Download the Amazon Music app today
Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus
In Apple Podcasts
Before you go, tell us about yourself
By completing a short survey at Wondry.com
We'll see you in the next survey