TigerBelly - Ep. 238: Sasha Grey & The King Size Heads

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

Bobby has the Rihanna. Sasha has two drawers of spice. Khalyla flushes thrice. We talk friendship candy, 4AM French Onion, Cosby parodies, and declare the winner of the 2020 Big Head Contest.  Submit your EP. 238 meme on Instagram & Twitter with #tigerbelly for your chance to win a TigerBelly gift bag.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. That's all I know of that song, but it's a great, it's from Maggie Maggie. What's her name? Maggie Roger. She's the greatest. What a wonderful talent. What a wonderful life. What a beautiful energy in this room. I'm Bob and I'm great. You know what? I look in the mirror and I say to myself, you're great, Bob. Because, you know, I, you know, I always walk around with a lot of shame and a lot of negativity and sadness. I'm trying to poly-short it up, man. I need to point out one thing though. I think that George has back candidly in a subtle way try to make you less kingly by taking this picture, which was twice as big, shrinking it and putting it in a less opulent gold frame.

Yeah. I think he's trying to take you down a notch. But what you don't know is, is that that bigger photo that was up there, he jerks off to every night. Yeah, and that's what makes it kingly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, he thinks, he looks at my ass when I walk in here. George. Huh?

Come on, man. That's why you, you're marrying an Asian. Yeah. It's the closest thing to you. Yeah, yeah. You want to fuck me in the ass, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's going to love that when she hears that.

He's really educated. If we were in prison, you know what you would do? You would, I would be sleeping on my belly. Yeah, I'd be sleeping on my belly and he would, not only like, he would pin me down, but he would squeeze my butt cheeks together to make my ass. hole even tighter. I could see that. Right. And he would just like, and I'd just be like, no.

Hang on. I have also another question. Yeah. How are you that confident in prison to sleep on your belly? Well, I, you know, I already have my. I would put my asshole to the wall. At all times. At all times.

No, no, I have my, because I already know I'm going to be fucked there. Look at me. Yeah. I can't have no defense mechanisms. I have a nice butt. You know what I mean? So I already know that I'm going to be like the town whore. Yeah.

You're top notch. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be a gigantic wet cave. My butthole will look like a wet cave. Yeah. And dudes will be like, you been there? Everyone's like, yeah, we've been in that cave.

Right. And this is going to be just juice. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Anywho. Moving on.

George. God. We have, I want to introduce everyone in the room. We've got, you know, it's people say, people say to me. Online. And people say that I shame people in the room. I'm a bully. Right.

But I call it, I tell it how it is. And I'm going to say this. I'm not, you know, I was bullied growing up and I'm a sensitive guy. But you know what? I have to tell it how it is. You know what I mean? We got big face John here with his big ass gookie head. Woohoo.

Woohoo. Woohoo. Right. And we've got even a bigger face right here. It's like a canvas. Wow. That's not. I'm just doing jungle sounds.

Oh. So you better have a sound for yourself. I got my big head. Woohoo. Woohoo. Right. Yeah. We got fucking my girlfriend's face is like, I have a king size bed and her face just

fits the fucking bed. I can't tour today. Yeah. Yeah. We've got George. He's a regular white guy. My girlfriend. And then we have a, she's a, she, we have a guest and.

She's a DJ. She's written three books. How many books have your, don't say anything. In her earlier life, he did, she did other things. We may, may or may not talk about it. You know what I mean? May or may not. Yeah.

Yeah. Because we're a Christian podcast and we believe in the Lord. Yeah. Yeah. How about a not, it's funny because I saw her once at David chose one of his like picnics. Oh, that's right. But she didn't say hi to me. I said hi to her.

Yeah. But she was so fucking rude to me. Like I was nothing that I was, you knew what you're doing. You knew what you're doing. And we want to talk about this. Sasha Gray, give her a round of applause. You can talk now, Sasha. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you, did you see me at that David to a party? I did. Yes. How come you didn't say hi? Every time I went to say hi, you were in a conversation and then every time I went to go back, I vice versa. Yeah.

This never happened. It was one of those situations where there's too many people and I don't know you like we have the same friends. Yeah. So when there's that many people in a room. Yeah. Awkward moment. It's a fucking picnic.

And I figured. I'm sorry for why am I yelling? Yeah. I don't know. I'll see you again probably. Oh, that's true. If it's meant to be. That's true.

I'm so sorry. I just yelled at you. I'm sorry. It's all good. It's all good. We'll move. We'll move past that. I'll be back in a minute and two seconds.

So you like to just ping around because you're uncomfortable. I'm the person in the party who holds on to the paper plate a little too long because I don't know what to do with my hands. So it's an empty paper plate and I just walk around aimlessly and I hang on to it for two hours until the party's over and I bring it in the car on my way home. Wow. I'm like, why do I have a paper plate? That's how socially awkward I am.

Yeah. But you know, but still in a pic. I just kept eating too. Yeah. Or keep your mouth. The food was. full of food, that's one way. Yeah, cause I've always, I've always,

I've been aware of you for many, many years. You know, you seem like a very nice person. Oh, thank you. We're also friends with the same kinds of people. Yeah, yeah. Artists and whatnot, you know. So, I, cause, but I didn't, you know, when I don't know somebody that well, Sasha,

I need to ask questions, if that's okay. In real life? No, no. No, no. In his head. Right now. Fucking now. Why am I so, I'm so aggro today, huh?

Yeah. I should not must stay a little bit. Is the weather? It's raining, LA. It's corona, it's the, it's the weather. Anxiety. Yeah, the anxiety. Doomsday panic.

Let's just do a breathing exercise maybe. Yeah, lead us through it. Yeah. We're not a toilet paper, that's it. What do you mean the toilet paper? Well, it's a toilet paper apocalypse. Everyone doesn't want to bear hand their own shit, so everyone's buying oddly, like,

too much toilet paper. Like, one family. That's a thing. But, like, 48 years worth of toilet paper by accident. How's that even possible? Because instead of 48 rolls, they got, like, 48 giant boxes or something like that. And they only have one asshole.

Exactly. So what's the difference? Shared between a full family. Yeah. Let me ask you something, Sasha. This morning, I just want to get your opinion about it. You've pooed before, right? I had a very healthy one this morning.

Was it solid? It was solid. Good. But not, like, too solid where it hurt. Yeah. I ate good yesterday. You did. It just lied out.

So this morning, last night, I had French onion soup. Why are we laughing? I don't know, but the delivery was the delivery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had French onion soup. What time? Four in the morning. Oh, Jesus.

I had French onion soup four in the morning, and I made three croissants. You actually made them? Well, no, the Trader Joe's has a frozen croissant, so I baked them. They take 45 minutes, put a little butter on the pan. And then the French onion soup, I just microwaved. Those things don't really go together.

It's like a breakfast and dinner. I understand that, but they're from the same region, right, Sasha? It's not like I had fucking sushi and hummus. You know what I mean? They're the same ballpark of food. That's what Papa likes to do. So last night, four in the morning, I jammed that in my mouth. And then this morning, this is how I woke up.

Ooh. It hurt. No, I made that noise out of my mouth. So I went to the bathroom, and I laughed. And I told Cole, I like, oh, don't go in there for a while. And then you would think that that would be enough. You would think that that would be end game. That's the discussions done.

What did you say? What do you mean? When I, on the toilet seat. When you're smoking outside and I knock through the glass window, I was like, you don't know how toilets work. And that's what I asked. Because when I went to the bathroom, there was shit smeared on the toilet seat,

and I couldn't understand how that was humanly possible. Wait, how? I don't fucking know how he did that. It was like performance art. G.G. Allen. G.G. Allen style. G.G. Allen. I wasn't doing performance art.

That's a good reference, G.G. Allen. Love that guy. But you know, it's like, I already told, anyway, it's shaming. And then, and then, go ahead. Sasha, do you have a boyfriend? How does this happen? Exactly. That's what I was trying to find out,

and he didn't have answers for it. Do you ever work in restaurants or fast food places? I have in my early days. Yeah, and I never understand. Like, you ever had to clean the toilets, and you would wonder how all the poo got everywhere. That it did. How is it possible?

It was Bobby. Yeah, yeah. I had a little D, and you had a healthy poo this morning, right? I did. Yeah, mine was not so much. It just flattered. Yeah. Like, did you float off when it came out?

Oh, that's why I cut this. No, I'm not a cartoon character. There was proof of it in there. Yeah, yeah. If I did that. There's liftoff, babe? There was no liftoff, no. But there was pain, and do you have a boyfriend?

Crampy pain? Sasha, do you have a boyfriend? Yeah. And do you live together? That I will not discuss. OK, good. But has it ever put in your toilet? Yes.

All right. And if it was a poo on the seat a little bit, would you say something? Or would you just say it? I'm so fucking lutely. Oh, fuck. All right. Oh, yeah.

Then it's my bad. I didn't know that. Because I have a vagina, too. Like, you don't want that close to poo. Thank you. It's not like if a little gets on your balls, you're going to be fine. Did you think that the jury was going to side with you on this?

I don't know. Maybe were you hoping she would clean it up for you? Because you were grossed out. Can you still argue for your case? Yeah, I'm so curious. But then one of the dogs pooed in the living room. And then she blamed it on me. Sounds like a shit morning.

Yeah. It was a little nugget, and it was out of place. It was out of place. My dogs are potty trained. So I just assumed it was. You just had. You just missed the toilet again. A little dribble.

OK, you know what? That's sound. That argument sound. My bad. Next time, I won't. Next time I have the D, after I'm done, I will look at that. I'm trying to be mindful, and I'm trying to make amends here. OK.

I'm sorry to you. Next time I have the D, after I'm done, I'll turn around and look at the environment. The D is the diarrhea. Yes, Sasha. Very different. The D usually isn't diarrhea. I'll look at my I'll turn around.

Look at my dick. Well, what's G? Oh, dick. Yeah. Oh, catch that D, babe. Diagon. Diagon. I'll just say it.

But diet cheese is a vegan cheese. So would there be a word like that? I should just say diarrhea. It's not that much to say. Diarrhea. Rhea. Rhea. Rhea.

That's good. I had the Rhea. Rihanna. I had the Rhea. I had the Rhea to make it like, you know, poppy. You know what I mean? So I had the Rhea. I'd say that's pretty racist, because Rhea is a black woman.

So please do not. Bobby. How about Bobby? I'll dare you, Bobby. Let's go with Rhea Perlman. Rhea Perlman. OK. Taking it back.

That's Dan and DeVito's ex-wife? Yeah, and also from Cheers. I'm just going to call the Rihanna, and it's not racist. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm getting angry. Sorry. It's not racist.

I'm just going to call. Anyway, the next time I have the Rihanna, I'm going to look down, and I will be mindful, and I'll clean it. And then that's that. OK, I apologize. OK. So let's get back to fucking Sasha.

OK, yes. All right. So Sasha, I didn't Google you. I didn't Wikipedia. I'm aware of that you're a DJ. You're in books. I mean, these are information that I already knew. You know what I mean?

That I know that for a couple of years you did something else, right? We don't have to talk about it. But I have to say that. We can talk about it. I know. I know. But I have to say, though, that I have masturbated to you.

I was waiting for that. I was like, it's going to happen. Yeah, yeah. Conversations are going to happen. And so it's, you know, because we've had also, obviously, on this podcast many times. And I, for some reason, I knew Sasha, not Sasha, I knew Asa when she was 16 or 17.

What? Yeah, before. She was a dom at the time, right? No, she wasn't. Even before she was in high school. Flyers for a comedy club. Oh, wow. So I was playing the Laugh Factory.

And she and Jamie Masada goes, hey, buddy, you know, you know, Asa and Asa was like the 16-year-old Japanese girl. She was and we passed out flyers because no one bought tickets to my show. And we were on New York City just like, you know, just passing out tickets. And then I just said to this young girl, I go, let's go on a rollercoaster and one of the things.

So we did that and we had some candy. And then we became. Not creepy at all. I took this little girl to a rollercoaster. We had some candy. Give her some candy. It sounds so bad. That is true.

That sounds bad. It sounds bad. Yeah, but yeah. But not in a, it wasn't molesting candy. Yeah. It was friendship candy. It was friendship candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it comes candy, you know. There's two types, right? Molesting and then there's friendship ones. So I gave her some really just Christian friendship. I think it was just like the candy corn that you get in Thanksgiving. You know what I mean? Just very simple and, you know.

Or the bracelet ones. Yeah, we get bracelet. Thanksgiving. Yeah, Halloween. Is that candy corn? Oh yeah, yeah, Halloween, yeah. Yeah, well, it's the same month. It's the same color.

A couple months. It's not the same month. Color scheme. It's not the same month. I don't know what the holiday is. You guys are ganging up on me. I definitely saw candy corn in Thanksgiving. So people are like, this is the one that nobody wanted here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody eats it. I do like candy corn. I think it's good. I did when I was a kid. I went and touched it today, though. I've never had a candy corn. What's it taste like?

Just pure sugar. Sugar. OK, in the shape of corn kernels. It kind of, I guess, bigger. Bigger, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not a flavorful candy, but I love sugar. Same. Thank you.

I have a problem. So I've never masturbated to also because of the fact that there's like a family dynamic to that. But with you, I didn't know you, so I feverishly one time. Feverishly. Yeah, interesting attitude. I'm sorry, babe. This is before I met you.

I'm so sorry. You don't think that we've, she's not only for men, dumbass. Oh, yes. I love it. Wait, you rub your jam jam? Of course. Jam jam? But feverishly?

Yes, she's a goddess. She was the biggest thing. Yeah, she was. You were like the top person, right? For a minute. For a minute, yeah. But then you got out of the game. I did, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But so let me ask you, so where were you born? Where did you grow up, like high school and all that kind of stuff? Sacramento. Beautiful city. Super beautiful. Hey, yeah.

It's what a beautiful, they have a Jamba Juice there. Yeah. I went to that one. I remember, I made, I stopped. You didn't get robbed? I didn't get robbed, yeah. I also sucked on a 70-year-old woman's titty. Oh, that's where I happened?

Yes, in Sacramento. In Sacramento. She wasn't, yes. The grandma with the kids toys, the grandkids toys in the back. I sucked on a dribble-up titty. It was the best. Wow, you got to explain this one.

What? No, after a show, you know, a lady, an old lady goes, young man. She goes, young man. How old were you? I must have been 38. Oh, 36. Wait, where in Sacramento, the punchline?

The punchline, yeah. Young man. What a wonderful show, young man. And she shook my hand, you know what I mean, like political style. So I shook it. I go, thank you. But there was a piece of paper in the hand.

Oh. Oh, shit. She slipped you her number. Right. So I looked at it, and I went to Kevin Christie, who was actually opening for me in Denver this weekend. And I go, this lady, you know what I mean? She shook me the number.

It was hilarious. Because you should call it. You should call it? Yeah. And I go, oh, yeah. So that night, I tried to get her to come to my, you know what I mean, hotel room. I'm with my grandkids or something like that.

She would have been in the minivan, right? And then the next day, she goes, let me pick you up. And it was a Bronco. Oh, she's a badass grandma then. Was it white? It was a white Bronco, OJ Simpson style. Love it. And then she, we had dinner.

And then at dinner, I go, did she pay? No. I think I did. Oh, you did. I did, because I'm a gentleman. OK. And then she goes, you want to see my titties? And I go, now?

At dinner, I'm not kidding you. At dinner. And she goes, look. And she looked at him, and she hadn't done. She was like one of those like. Hip. Hip, hot. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like ladies, like in her 20s, I would never even get to be able to get her. Yeah. Right? It's only at 60 I could get her. You play the long con. Long con, yeah, long con, yeah.

So then we, she goes, she was driving me around Sacramento to show me like the landmarks. You know what I mean? Like, this is hey, you know what I mean? Or this is where they make. The landmarks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is where they make, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is where they make, you know, lamp fixtures at this factory, you know what I mean? This is the Almond factory. Is there an Almond factory there? There is. Yeah. Blue diamond bitches. Oh.

Oh, shit. Blue diamonds from San. That's something to be proud of. Yeah. Yeah. So then, and then it just sucked on her titties. And but it was weird because I, we had parked on the side of the street and she had her grandkids toys

all over the, all over the Bronx. I had, I remember adjusting and what? That sort of happened to me. Really? Really? It wasn't a grandma, it was a girl with a child. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

So then you grew up in SAC. Hold on, I want to hear that story. Wait, so how did it end? Well, we'll get to that story. It was just the sucking on the titties. Yeah, I would have had sexual intercourse with her, but I had to do two shows. So.

That's ever stopped a man before. No, it was like, like my show was at seven and I was sucking old titties at 6.30. It was a time, real time crunch. Yes, I was like doing it quick because like, I wanted to get it all in. No rain check? Why?

Then I call, I think I called her that night. And then, and then she brought the Sunday show. She brought her youngest son. Oh, yeah. She has a young son that's like 16 or 17. That move, that's the, yeah. To the, to the before the show. And then we took photos and he was a huge mad TV fan.

So then after that, I was like, this is becoming kind of weird. Too familiar. You're a family now. Yeah, I didn't want to be, I didn't also, I don't think I wanted him to be my, you know what I mean? Son. Oh, I see. You know what I mean?

Because they step son. Yeah, things, you know, went further. So when you, when you, you made love to a older lady in a car. She was actually not older. Okay. She was only a few years older than me. Right. And then she had toys.

And she offers to drive. And I said, okay, we're not going far, but in like 10 minutes, I come back and get my car and I get in the car and as you do in a stranger's car, I looked behind me and there's a car seat and a bunch of toys. Everyone was like, oh, this is a little awkward. Yeah. And then, I mean, it's not going to stop me.

It was just like, I don't know why that thought went in my head. Like, oh, like, where's your kid then? I think I asked her because I was a little ways that I was like, but who's watching your kid? Well, maybe she's a nanny. No, no, she had a kid. And then she had a kid. So then you went back to that backseat

and then you started scissoring with that. I mean, we did the scissoring outside of the car. Really? Now, when did this happen? Was it after porn or before? After. After. Wow.

So, but I want to get to now to your early life. So then you went to high school. Did you get good grades? I did. Yeah. I was a good student. Wow. Straight away.

You graduated early. You did. College? I dropped out of college. But then when did, how does, because did you have like a good upbringing and whatnot? Not perfect. Yeah.

No, but I mean, nobody. Not a cliche like, this is what led you to porn, by any means. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, let's say, my parents divorced when I was five. OK, that's pretty normal. Normal. These days.

Yeah, I got super good grades in school. I was, if anything, I wasn't challenged enough. That's for sure. I jumped around to like four different schools because I was so unsatisfied and nothing was challenging enough. And then finally, my senior year, I was already on track. I almost graduated two years early. And then I kind of sucked off because I

started having a crisis like, none of this means anything. Because I had just focused my whole life on getting good grades and the idea is like, you're going to graduate and you're going to go to college. And then I looked at my older siblings, one of whom was in debt and couldn't even find a job with $80,000 in debt. You know what I mean? I was like, why?

Why? And so I took, I just decided to take it easy for a while. I still ended up graduating early and put myself in homeschooling like the last six months of school just because I was like, I'm so unsatisfied and so unchallenged. And then I kind of took that period of probably graduating in April or so until the end of the summer, beginning of fall.

And I said, OK, I'll try college now. Like it wasn't, it didn't take me that long. I said, OK, I'll try now. And then I decided to go. And then I just started having the same feeling. So all over again, I was like, OK, what am I doing? It just felt like I was back in high school. It's young angst.

It's young angst. Yeah, you question the environment around you. You question society. I think that's the thing I never did. I mean, I did in some respects, but when it came to education, I didn't question it. Right. But then you started getting probably antsy in college.

And then what did you, what was the solution? I mean, how did you? I first, as a joke, thought I was going to be a stripper. And I was like, that's so against my personality. Yeah. It's not who I am whatsoever. And I was watching a lot of porn at the time. And I was in a relationship where I was experimenting a lot.

And I was like, OK, well, I want to try more. And the other person didn't. And the more I thought about it, it's OK. What did you mean, try more? I always had really dark fantasies that I felt guilty about because I was brought up Catholic. So go figure. And it wasn't until I started having sex, which I was older

compared to all of my friends. It wasn't until then where I realized like, oh, I shouldn't be ashamed. And I don't know why it took the physical act of experiencing it to kind of lift that weight off of me. And then I started realizing, OK, I want to try these sorts of things. But what are my options other than creepy people off

the internet porn? Yeah. Because you don't know who you're meeting off of the internet. It could be anybody at internet. Yeah. You could be Lukamon McNada from Don't Fuck with Cats. Yeah. What is this?

If you haven't seen Don't Fuck with Cats yet, brace yourself. But watch it. Give it a watch. Go to Netflix. And then text us. Let me know what you think. Somebody just told me about this. It's a documentary.

I think it will buckle your mind. But there was a creature on their name, Lukamon McNada. Is that his name? Yeah. Yeah. And he's. Creature? Well, he's a human being.

Yeah, we don't call him anything. Well, we don't call him anything. He's a piece of shit. But this piece of shit is the type to go online or on Craigslist and try to, like, solicit. And pray. He's just praying. Yeah, he's a predator, for sure, you know?

But how do you like do you call? Who do you call? I don't like, because I'm going to just say, I want to admit something to you, everyone in the room, is that if I was a woman and I was hot, 100% I would have done what Asa did and what you did. You know what I mean? But the awesome part about someone like Sasha or Asa

is that there's so much ownership of those thoughts. And there's so much. It's like full agency of those actions, right? And that's what makes it, in a sense, for me, even more compelling and attractive. Like when you know, for me especially, like the type of porn that I watch, if there's an elevated practice to it,

and I know that girl is smart, and I know that girl has witty comebacks, there's so much more of an attraction coming to me versus the cliche story of that you like. The narrative that you like in porn is she's sitting on the audition chair begging to be paid to get fucked because she has a debt. Like that's the narrative you like. Desperation.

The desperation, yeah. Desperation porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not, no, I'm going to make an argument. Defend yourself. Thank you, Gilbert. Yeah, you're on my Gabby, whatever your name is. Yeah, yeah.

No, obviously my sexuality and what gets me off is very intricate, and it's like a fine wine. And sometimes, let me say to this, I know dudes that will go to the Hamptons and open up a very expensive bottle of wine, but then they'll go to Brooklyn and go to just a pub and chow down, you know what I mean? I don't know the term.

Jerk and beer, chow down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know the term. Fuck it, let's do it. I just threw it up, but you chow down, right? So it's like, it depends on like in terms of what I'm into. Sometimes, you know, with Sasha, for some reason, with your, when you were, because you were on a lot, right? It's a lot of these sites.

On a lot? No, like if I were going on a site. Oh, I was all over the place. Yeah. OK. So by the time that you did. No, I'm not done with you. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My point, can I just finish my fucking? Yeah, of course. You're king. You know what I mean? So sometimes I like, you know. In the sometimes when I look at a woman's eyes, I want to see in porn, you know what I mean? Mom.

Like they're like, they made the wrong decision. Yeah. Yeah, in their eyes, I have to look at them going, what am I doing? You know what I mean? I shouldn't be doing here. I like that. You know, I know a dude, I can't say his name,

that likes crack porn. Oh, crack or confession. Yeah, which is so dark and so like gross. Yeah, I mean, and I've never masturbated to that. Truth, the truth. OK. I have a lot of questions. But I'm not done yet with my point point.

Chow down, my chow down. All right, right. But then like, you know, someone like there are ones that you can tell that they're their career driven girls are smart, you know what I mean? And they, you know, they're sexually advanced. Those ones, I will do as well. You know what I mean?

As well, thank you, Bobby. With Asasha Gray, I'll have a cappuccino, right? A hot cappuccino. I'll pull out my fucking old tummy pipe. Are you wearing a monocle? Yeah, I have a monocle, right? A top hat. A smoking jacket.

Top hat, yeah. I'll put my Moriarty shoes. Your feathered pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your feathered plume, babe. Yeah, yeah, my feathered plume. I'll put the fuck, Earl Grey too, sometimes I use. Earl Grey tea, yeah.

Yeah, and then I'll put the fireplace on, right? And I'll take out my, I will, I will, I will. And I'll take my fancy, you know, lube. Talcum powder? Talcum powder, I'm gonna lube. What I use is that stuff that you use when you play fucking pool. Pool, yeah.

When you take a few out of the tip of the penis. I take the kibble kibble and I put it on the tip. Right, right. I take that blue thing and I put it on my. Real dry experience. Right, right, right. And I will put on, you know what I mean, a high definition, blu-ray.

Wow. You know what I mean? And I will go do, you know what I mean? This is the top of the line, right? But sometimes I like to go in the mud as well. Yeah, I get that. Go ahead, babe. Wait, what if what?

I'm done with my point. Hold on, we gotta get back to how it all started for her. So by the time you were like, okay, I have these dark fantasies, I want to see, like, how does. Yeah, who do you call? Gutsbusters. Sorry.

No, but how did you, I mean, who do you, I mean, how do you call an agency? So I started, I started just making all these different lists and ideas of what I wanted to do. And then I contacted other girls that were in the industry. So I kind of had an idea of what I should expect to get paid and what companies to avoid. And then I started just going on different message boards

and sort of gathering the same information. So I had a list of people to avoid 100% and then a list of agencies. So I emailed four or five different agencies. Nobody, I think one maybe emailed me back. And then they were like hard to actually get on the phone. And this is 2006. So not everybody has smartphones.

For me, if you can pick up the phone and call, that's a big deal. And the first person who actually called me was the one agent that I ended up working with. And he called me and he goes, yeah, if you really look like this, you're really down to do all these things. You're gonna make it far.

You got your own car? Yeah. This is your phone you're calling from? Yeah. Okay, great. Wow, stare at the phone. I would have hauled up the phone. That's fucking it.

Oh, no, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So what I did, I guess I did all of that like quasi research for six months or so. And then I ended up driving down to LA for a week to look for an apartment. And then in that time, I was hoping, oh, in this week, I'll find an agent. How hard is it?

And during that week, nobody called me, only the one email. And actually on my way home back to Sacramento, I was driving home. That's when I got that phone call. So I was like, well, I'll be back in a week. I'm actually moving here. Wow.

Now, what was, do you remember the first scene you did? Yeah. Were you nervous? I was, and it was, it was that hurry up and wait feeling of being on a set, right? So it was also an origin. Oh, wow. So at first it's like, fuck, this is it.

And I had the entire day to change my mind, you know, because you're waiting so, and I hated that period of having to wait. And at first it felt that that would be the most intimidating kind of scene to do, especially for your first scene. But then once I was actually in it and fucking, it was actually the best because I was working

with one of the most respected directors in the industry and with all of the top talent. So being there, I felt like, okay, the pressure is actually not on me. Yeah. And I can kind of ride on the other people because they're more experienced. So I can just watch Observe and see how it goes.

And it actually ended up probably being a really great experience. And then my agent came on set, then at that point in the night, it was like, it's all downhill from here, kid. Wow, that's funny. All right. So basically, it's like me being just a young actor

and getting like Oceans 11 is my first thing. Yeah. That's basically what was like, oh, there's Brad Pitt. And Matt did, that's what your situation was. Basically, yeah. Yeah, wow. Rocco was the first. Oh, I love Rocco!

Rocco! Yeah, I love that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I thread, now, since you're out of the business, if I could throw through some companies your way, can you tell me if you like them or not, or no? Like one thing. Like Red Light District, are they good?

Oh. Yeah. They have good benefits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there poor mistakes? Devil's Films, are they good? I don't know them. Did you work for Red Light District?

Yeah. Do you like them? Yeah, they were cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that company. Yeah. Yeah. I think in a different life, if comedy didn't work out for you,

I feel like you would have been an agent of sorts. A porn agent? For adults. Oh, no, I would have my own production company. I would be like a Devil's Film or a, um, I'm just kidding. You'd be like a Spiegler? Yeah, that was my agent. Yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would be like legit, you know what I mean? Number one, I would take care of my ladies. Yeah. I mean, I'd probably be like a Papa kind of a thing, right? Papa productions. No, I'd hug a lot.

I was like, are you OK? How are you feeling? I don't know if you're hugging a lot is, you know. I don't see that. Yeah. She's like, that's not industry standard. Well, no, not hugging in a pervy way. Fuck you, Sasha.

No, like. It's a candy corn again? No, not candy. I'll take my girls to a roller coaster. No, it's like, you know, I would go to, like, if I was an agent, like, let's say I was your agent, Sasha, right? And after your first scene, you know what I mean?

I would probably put my arm around you, wipe you down. Yeah, I'll go take a shower first. Then what is there to wipe down? And then wipe you down. And I'll put my arm around you, just very like father's daughter type. And go, how are you feeling? Kiddo?

Kiddo? You're like living out your old Jay fantasy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another thing I need to ask about, you know, and I need your expertise on this. What is this fantasy? So lately, for the past couple of years, you know how he's been like the shame.

The couch auditions at High Point. Now he strictly just does old Jay. So decrepit, 80-year-old. Old? Old? Old Jay. Old? I thought you said OJ.

I just like old Jay, Nicole Bronson, some videos. So he likes, yeah, really, really, really like geriatric looking men with 18-year-olds. That's the combo that he's really into. And what are your thoughts on that? And do you think that he's just projecting his feeling? Future self? Yeah.

I want to know what the feeling is or the drive behind. That's really weird. I was actually thinking about, oh, I thought that was a laugh. Not to make this about me, but I was thinking about a scene like that I did recently. I was reflecting on it. I was like, who watches this? Or who watched that, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you did a scene with an old man? He was in geriatric, but he was pretty fucking old. How old was he? He had to have been in his mid-60s. But not healthy, so he looked much older. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe even late 60s.

And that was one of the last scenes you did? No, no. It's like in the middle of somewhere. In the middle of somewhere. Now, when you did that scene, was it uncomfortable working or no? Mm, I mean, yes and no, in my brain, it was awkward. Yeah.

But I could say that there was worse moments and worse experiences when it came, like as long as somebody was hygienic, I could hang up my fucking feelings. Right, right, right, right. I think that would be my big thing, too. Because I'm a real clean freak. Breath is a really big thing for me.

And I think as long as someone is fully clean, I could look past anything. Right. But can't you have a writer? Like, you know, sometimes when I go on the road, like I have a writer, like I need Red Bull in the room. Right. I need three balls of water, all these things.

Can't you go, can the person be clean? Yeah. Oh, I left. Oh, what? Oh, I left. Like there were scenes where I would leave. Oh, you would? Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Like this is not acceptable. Exactly. The conditions, right? Yeah. So what is the worst one that you had? The worst? Experience.

It's probably a girl. Really? Mm-hmm. And she was? Tilapia. Tilapia. What is tilapia? It's a fish.

Oh. Oh, my god. I almost vomited. Funny enough, my worst experience as well. That specific fish, are these stinky? It's my codeword that I now use with all of my friends. Also, tilapia? Tilapia doesn't have the omega fatty acids

that you get from other fish. So it's not even a good price fish. It's like the one they farm in those vats and they swim and eat their own shit. Oh, tilapia. I'm writing it down. Tilapia. Because in my game, Stardew Valley, right?

He fishes them. Tilapia. Tilapia is the easiest fish to catch, which means probably a bottom dweller. A young woman at a club, and she came to my hotel room. She sped open her legs, and it smelled like hot blood. Oh, it is hot blood. Like curdled?

Like curdled. Like it was like autopsy. It was like a crime scene. She opened it up and I was like, oh, fuck. So it was old? You know, it was like old. But she was young. It just smelled like.

I mean, the blood was old. Yeah, the blood was stale blood. Stale blood. It smelled like, you know, a crime scene. And I still did it because, you know, because. Because you're a dude. No, no, no, no, no. I think it's more because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Right? So I went, I smelled it. And I think she saw my face go, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean, like I saw like the devil or something. Right? Oh, right. And then I went in because of my, you know what I mean? My, you know, I have a good morality.

How about that time when you flicked the poo? Didn't you flick a poo off somebody? No. Yeah. The girl who played the guitar? All right, I don't want to say her name. Of course, the hippies who play with the guitar, they always have dingleberries.

She was the hippie with the guitar, and she was like singing all the time. And then like we're in La Jolla and it was during the day and I was doing her doggy style. And she said, she turned around and she goes, I just had a vision. And I go, what? And I'm still having sex with her.

And she goes, I envisioned that you and I had a family. Oh, in the middle of fucking? Yeah, the baby in a white picket fence. And then I smelled something weird. She was so relaxed that you got her. So I was like, yeah? And then I smelled something and I spread over her cheeks. And she had five hairs.

Normal? I know, but they weren't curled. You know what I mean? Asian hair, just sticking out. Yeah, they were just like. Porcupine. You know, like if you see a scary movie and the hairs on the back of your neck, but they were.

Out of the butthole? Yeah, they were sticking out of the butthole like this. You know what I mean? Like they were at a rave. And they were like waving their hands. Rave hairs. Yeah, rave hairs. And on the tip of one of them was a perfect ball of poo, right?

But it was little, but it was dangling from. Like how big? Like a piece of rice? Bigger, bigger. Yeah. Like a peppercorn. Yeah, a piece of rice. And you put it into a ball.

Maybe two pieces of. Like a peppercorn. Like a peppercorn. That's a peppercorn. That's a good one. That's pretty small. Did you use peppercorn? All the fucking.

I love peppercorn. I got the pink ones. I got the green one. And I got the white ones. And did you know that? And the black ones. Poor kids who have like anxiety issues, they can't afford Prozac or anything like that stuff.

And they smell. Peppercorn is supposed to ease your anxiety. So poor people use it. And I use it sometimes too. In fact, when you're high on marijuana and you. On marijuana. When you're smoking, you know what I mean? Pot.

Pot. Yeah. Weeds. Weeds, right? And you have. They say when you have a panic attack, when you just smell peppercorn. Whoa.

Yeah. So that's just FYI. Yeah. Maybe that's why I have so many peppercorns. Yeah, it's a delicious thing. So anyway, so she had a little. It looked like a jazz flower, you know what I mean? It's like a little ball at the end, right?

And as soon as she says that, I had a vision of going to CVS right now and getting toilet paper. Did you really say that? No, my head, I heard that said that. But instead you just flicked it? Yeah, I flicked it like that, right? Oh, you touched it? Yeah.

Yeah. I say I fly around, fly across the room. But you know what, I feel, because I feel bad. You know, now that you say that. Now that you. She was a nice girl is what you're saying. Not only a nice girl, I did like her. Yeah.

And then I remember she. Was it the first time you'd had sex? No, we had sex probably 10 times. Well, you didn't like, you couldn't have liked her that much because if it's 10 times in and you can't tell her she's got. Who is a gigane changer for me? You got to, you don't like her that much. If you can't tell her.

Exactly. The poo. Yeah, if you like her that much. But you flicked it? Yeah. I flicked it because I wanted out of my vision. I would have been like bloop. Yeah, so I flicked it.

And then what she had moved from a different city to be with me. Oh, wow. You can get past the nugget. Right. And and I remember driving her back thinking to myself, I'll never see her again. And so I remember like a year later,

she showed up at a comedy club and she just looked at me and she looked. I don't know why that's Freudian maybe, I don't know. You're living the moment. Yeah, yeah. She showed up at a comedy club and shit all over me. And I remember being very cold to her. This is why I know for sure you didn't like her as much as you're,

as maybe you thought, because you like poo. Your brother and you are obsessed with the smell of poo. In fact, can we talk about this? You know about this. The first time I met your brother, he came to my house and almost pooped on a friend of mine. Like willingly, willingly. I mean, yeah.

My brother, my brother Steve. Yes, your brother Steve. The good guy. The good guy. Right. The good guy brother. The good guy brother. He, how did that happen?

Almost. All right, because I think it's your fault. Go ahead. My friends were coming over. I had heard about him for a while because he was already hanging out with a bunch of mutual friends. And they're like, oh, I'm with Stevie.

Can we bring him up? Yeah, of course. They show up. And we're just all sitting on the floor talking shit. The subject of shit comes up. And we start talking about pooing on people. Like, have you ever pooed on someone? Would you ever poo on?

Would you get shit on? And one of my friends volunteers to get shit on. On my floor, which is not how you do it, I was like, hey, this is worth it. This really happens. And she kept rolling around because she was so grossed out. And he had his pants down. And she would like.

Steve was like. She would like roll in the other direction. And she was laughing hysterically. And I was like, don't move because he's going to shit on my carpet. OK, OK, OK. And I think it continued for probably 20 or 30 minutes until he was like, I took a shit at Ralph's

before I came here. Otherwise, I can't get it out. Oh, my god. There's such great shame in my family. I am so sorry. It was great. But they have great memories. It's not normal behavior.

It's not normal behavior. This is why we probably get along, though. Yeah. You like my brother, Steve? Yeah. He's a good kid, huh? He's funny. Yeah, he's a funny little guy.

Yeah. Has he done, have you done his podcast? I did, yeah. How many times? Once. Yeah. It's funny that you would do his before mine. But I didn't know.

I didn't even know you had a podcast yet. All right, Sasha. All right. So then when you're in this industry, and then when did you get out? 2009. So you were in and out. You were just.

Three years, yeah. Three years is such a short time. Yeah, I thought I was going to be a lifer. Oh, really? Yeah. But what was the reason? I mean, just you're just done? So, so many things were playing out at the same time.

But the first and foremost reason was that I felt like I had accomplished the things that I set out to do. And so the next step naturally would be to create my own company and start doing things my own way. But I, the entire time I was in porn, I was doing other things. I was making music.

I was working on a photography book. I had shot two other films. Like there was all of these things happening in my life. And then I actually had started a company and it failed. And it was the first, I would say, the first major failure of my life. That really impacted. What kind of company?

Was it a porn company? How did it, why did it fail? Bad, I went into business with somebody I shouldn't have. And so I'd spent about, I don't know, six months, something like that. But let's say a whole year, because leading up to that, I was actively trying to put it together. And then from the time I actually did,

and it all came crashing down, I had to make a decision. And I was sleeping three hours a night because I was working my ass off. So for a good year, that was my life. And I had to make the decision, do I want to start over from scratch? And this is only a year after the recession or within the same year.

People weren't shooting as much as it was. And parodies became a big thing. I hate parodies. I fucking hate them. They're the worst. They're so stupid. They're so stupid, because they don't even put in the same amount of CGI.

Oh, no. That's what you're upset about? Yeah, it's like, that's what you're up to. Yeah, you watched the Avengers one, right? Like, this is better, really cool. I don't know what that is. If it's silk screen or what it is or a panel, but this is cooler, then a lot of the sets

they would have in those parodies. Yeah, they would put like, Spider-Man would put cotton. You know what I mean? Use cotton, do you know what I mean? Halloween. Fucking go to fucking ILM. Yeah, put some budget. She's screaming in there.

Get a budget. Yeah, anyway, I hate it. Parodies are the worst. Or the Cosby ones, or like, that's all. Oh, that was a bad idea. Yeah, there is a Cosby one. Yeah, there was. In fact, my friend, Thomas Ward,

I have a friend named Thomas Ward. I just give his social security number while you're at it. Because he's a porn star. Oh, OK. He's the one that's online. I thought maybe he was like a corp. Or like a cousin, I don't know. No, Thomas Ward.

No, an individual. Yeah, is a stand-up. He used to be a stand-up. I started with him. And he looks kind of like Cosby, right? He's a black guy. And then he disappeared from open mics. And I go, maybe he died.

I don't know. You know what I mean? So he's not that much of a buddy. I know, I mean. You know him. I know. But you know what I'm saying. You know what I mean, yeah.

But somebody that I hung, I had maybe a couple of meals with them or whatever at a hot dog stand or whatever. Bill Cosby loved hot dogs. Yeah. We know that, right? But anyway, so then one night I was like, oh, what's Cosby born? He comes on.

And I go, what the fuck? And then I go, that's Thomas Ward. And then he pulls his dick out. It's like fucking this big. And I remember trying to get in the computer. I was trying to shut it off. I go, no, no, no. You know what I mean?

And I shut it off. And then I saw a lot of like, there was a phase where I liked, you know, black and white porn. Interracial. Interracial. No, no, no. I like old timey porn. Oh, oh.

You want it? Bad film. Chaplin, like chaplin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Subtitles. I like black men and white women. Or vice versa, you know what I mean? And so I saw him in those two.

You know what I mean? Very talented. He was a good comic, but very good porn star. I have to say. All right. Anyway, did you do biracial ones as well? Yeah. Good.

Good. Like an Asian father. Cool. Good job. I don't only like one or two Asians, though. Men. What do you mean? In porn.

You only fuck two Asian men? Yeah, maybe. Who are the top male Asian porn stars right now? I've been out of it. Yeah. Are there any? I don't even know them. There's no Asian man that you could.

Like a man, like a, like, like Korean American. No, you know, I mean, in Tokyo, obviously, Japanese. Of course, I watched those all the time. Purvy fuckers, but yeah. But there's no like Asian American dude that I could look up to. There's no guy where, you know, because in martial arts, I'll say Bruce Lee, Jet Lee, whatever.

You know me, Jackie Chan, whatever. But in American porn, like even in sketch, I paved a little way for Asians in sketch comedy in America, you know? Yeah. But there is no Asian man that we can look up to. That's probably why you were really into interracial porn with black men, because that was your, you know, the closest

thing to having outside of being white. Maybe that's it. Yeah, it's exactly it. No, it's the big dicks. It's definitely the big dicks. Big dicks. It's the big dicks. I don't know if these are real, but there

were ones at one point where it was white chicks that would go. I, you know, I'm kind of racist. And I would never, I vowed to myself, I would never fuck a black guy. But then they do the scene. I don't know if it's staged or not. I don't know if it's staged or not. But then when the dick enters, like racist or white,

you know, pussy, you know what I mean? It's probably staged, but you got to be a little racist if you're willing to say that on camera. That is true. That's all I'm going to say. Right, right. Like when I was 19, somebody tried to tell me to say I was 18 on camera.

I was like, are you fucking kidding me? No. I'm not saying I'm not. And we actually had an argument about it before. Oh, so you would never lie? No, I wouldn't say I would never lie. Oh, my God, it's so big when it's not. But oh, right, right.

Now, were you ever in ones that were going to get off? Because I don't because you're so much that's only a little bit of your life. And this I don't want to talk about it anymore. The porn. OK, let's hop off. No, I want, but I have one last. Yeah.

Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. I forgot what he was going to ask. Let's just get off of it because I'll tell you why. It'll come back to you. Yeah, because, you know, because if you only did it for three fucking years, right, that's such a small chunk of your life.

Yeah. And you've done so much more than that, right? So let's just get the fuck off of it. You know what I mean? Can we do that or no? We can try. Because when people probably bring it up all the time and you probably drive you crazy.

I wouldn't say it drives me crazy. There's actually a big part of me that I'm trying to actively find a way to take the things that I was passionate about and that I wanted to change within society's perceptions of female sexuality. Like, how can I continue that goal while not being in porn? I think from an outsider's perspective,

you've done just that, at least for someone like me, where you are multifaceted. You are, to me, when I look at you, Sasha Gray, you're an artist. You're somebody that did that for a short amount of time. And you parlayed that into so many other things, like film and writing books. And exactly what you were describing

is how I view you, at least. But I want to say this, too, is that because I know Asa, and obviously I've seen what she does, right, it's acting. It's a performance. It's a performance. It really is a performance because I know her. And when I see her stuff sometimes, I'll randomly.

Yeah, yeah. Asa, to me, is one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. I know she's a family. She's family to me. She's like my sister. I love her so much. I think she's super talented. But my point is that it is, if it's done well

and you can rise in that business, it's only because you can perform and you can act. And you now isn't what I've seen on the fucking thing. It's acting, you know what I mean? And it's crazy. I remembered what I wanted to ask you. And this is the last question. Oh, it did come back.

It did come back, you're right. Did you ever do any ones that they gave you, like, scripts? Like, you know, some of them, now, those ones, do you prefer those ones? No. Why? Because they give you acting notes? That would be fucking frustrating.

Yes. Would they, really? Oh, yeah. And I'm very monotone, naturally. Yeah. And I remember, I won't say what it was, but I was like, all right, I'm going to ham it up, right? So I was just hamming it up.

That's a convenience. And then the director is like, no, but say it like this. Mine rings? Yeah, say it like this instead. And I was like, so you want me to just speak how I normally speak? Yeah, be more natural. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like this.

And then when I finally saw the thing, I was like, oh, I seem so deadpan that it actually doesn't work at all. Like, I'm never fucking listening to those guys again. But. Oh, I see. So the director was a bad director. It's just, it's.

No, what's. Look, yeah, fuck her. Stories don't belong in porn. They do not belong in porn unless we're talking about doing some avant-garde shit. Like, just stop. I agree. It just doesn't fucking work on that.

It does. No, this is fast forward. No, no, no, it does. Right. If you did it with like, if honestly, if I said, I take you, let's suppose right now I had, I was a multimillion and I wrote a really good script, a really good script with a real DP.

You mean a real like story? Yes. And I go, you know what, we're going to take, you're going to take six months of Meisner technique. Right. I'm being real, right? No. You're going to have this acting coach.

This is probably Russian. Ben Affleck's acting coach. No. Right? What? Ben Affleck's acting coach. Well, no, I would hire him, right? And I would, I would fucking go.

And it would be like a real movie with a real script, with real emotions, right? With a real story, but that sex would be like. Like that gas bar, no way. It should, it should movie. They should do it like that, but. Yes. That one movie, Love, right?

Oh, yeah. Love was a lot. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. And it was just, it was similar to what you're describing. Yeah, um, um, Marilyn Brando did a movie called The Last Tango in here, right?

Not that it was like. But you don't. What do you mean? Get the butter. You know, you don't get the butter. I know you don't get the butter, but imagine if you did get a little butter in there. I think, I think it could be done, but the powers that be

will never let it happen. Right. And who's that audience for? Exactly. Like who? Look, I've always said that. Me, you're the audience. Me, David Cho.

I could name every five. Like the cliche porn is, let's say like the cliche male fantasy is porn and the cliche female fantasy is a romantic Hollywood comedy. I've kind of always said this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're both fake. Right.

So are you going to blame romantic Hollywood comedies when your girlfriend expects all of these delusional things from you? Yeah. Anyways, I've always said that. But I did another podcast a couple of weeks ago where the woman is a photographer. She's been in the business her whole life, basically.

And she was saying, now there are people doing more narrative structures in porn. So I haven't seen those things. So I can't speak on those necessarily. But it doesn't sound like they're doing full-on big-budget movies. And that is the cool thing that you have the ability because the technology is so much cheaper and actually

of higher quality today than it was even 10 years ago. So that, I don't know, but. Why don't we produce something? Yeah, you're going to put it. No, you're not going to be in it. She's not putting any money in it. No, I'll get you distribution. I'll get you distribution.

OK, no, what about this? Why don't we write a script? Just for fun. Right? Write a fucking. All right, give me a what's the log line? What are we thinking? Yeah.

Well, why can't it be like a real. 80-year-old man with an ATM. I know I already told him back to this. He's Korean. His name is Bobby Lee. Yeah, you know, it's set in the hospice. OK, really? This is your latest fetish, really?

Yeah, I there's a company called Old J. It's O L D J E dot com. I also sometimes go to blue pill men. It's a blue pill men, right? And I also go to Jurassic cock. That's it. I go to Jurassic cock. And but, you know, I haven't been watching porn

because of my for 90 days, I've been masturbating through my memories and my visuals because I'm, you know, in fact, I haven't ejaculated in eight days. Muzzle. Muzzle tough. Muzzle. Why is your face like that when you do that? I mean, eight days just doesn't seem like, you know,

I mean, I'm proud of you. I mean, eight days is an eternity when you're me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why? Because I just think that, you know, when I was in, I went to an institution for my. Why are we laughing at this? Because he called it an institution.

It's not. I had a mental breakdown to an institution. That was in Arizona. And we were talking about my addictions, you know, and there's my main addiction, which is drugs and alcohol. OK. But then there are like side ones that, which is right around that is pornography and sexual addiction.

And then around that is, you know, video games and other things to distract me from, you know, feeling and being in the moment and being present, you know. So I made a deal with the counselors that I wouldn't watch pornography because it's, you know, not in your case. But what they were describing was is that I have my own trauma.

OK. That I grew up with, you know, would be all that kind of stuff. And I have a lot of PTSD from it. But they were explaining to me that a lot of people in the adult industry and also struppers, you know, not all of them, but also come with their own trauma. And some of their behaviors, you know what I mean, is based on their traumatic childhood

and what not not missing you or I'm not saying you or or us. And I and he goes, it's it's not healthy. You know, and so I said, you know what? That seems to be clear to me. And I I'm trying to do a lot of things that aren't going to distract me from. And trust me, I play, I carry my Stardew Valley, you know, I mean, everywhere I go and I play it constantly.

And I when I'm playing it, I understand what I'm doing. I understand why I'm playing it because I just don't want to feel and I don't want to be, you know, present, you know? And then sometimes I try to put it away and I meditate or whatever. But, you know, it's the thought that I'm trying to do these things.

So that's why I'm not watching pornography in the moment. How I mean, how often do you watch porn? I would do it every night. Multiple times a day to the point where it rendered me absolutely useless as a partner. Oh, okay. Yeah. She's like, okay, that's a problem. Didn't like the way you said that.

She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because I have a hard time accepting, like would you call it an addiction? Would you call that an addiction or would you call that a form of OCD? You know what I mean? Like you said, you're feeling, it sounds like you're feeling a void.

You do have a point. You know what I mean? Because in these eight days, how do you feel? Are you feeling like, fuck, I gotta watch the porn. No. So. No, I don't think about it, but I think that, but I, this is gonna sound crazy,

but I try to use God. Wait, why? Because I believe that, and- To get off. No, I believe that my drug addiction and alcoholic, alcoholism is, you know, when you saw me when I was doing drugs, right? And I was doing it, what?

Yeah, there's no, there's absolutely no moderation with any of the things that he chooses to engage in. I cannot stop. So if it's porn or if it's any other process addiction, it's, there's no 60%. It's 150% always. Right, and I can't stop. And just porn just happened to be one of them.

It could have been something else. It could have been watching, you know, the great British Bake Off for 24 hours of the day. Right, when weird things that can't be explained to me, right, happen, I tend to lean more toward, you know what I mean, the cosmic than, I mean, the nothingness. Well, I mean, for sure I'll do stupid things

and then I'll be like, thanks dad. You know, it's my dad passed. So it's like, I don't believe that he's up there looking down on me or anything, but it's a way of comforting me. And like reminding myself that he'll always be a part of me still. Right, when did he pass?

It will be five years in June. Cause my dad just did, right? No. Yeah, like seven months ago, right? Oh man, I'm sorry. I had no idea. Were you close to your dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And now, because I'm now, I'm now getting to the point where it's like, you know, I used to think about him every single moment of every day, right? And now he pops up once a day maybe during a drive or whatever. And there is a sense of sadness and I miss him, you know. Does that get better through time?

Yeah. Yeah. Like probably the third year I couldn't say what I just said without crying. Oh, I see. And even now I can feel myself getting overwhelmed. But yes, the cliche is true. It does get better with time.

And it's just because you get, it's not that the pain is gone, it's that you just get used to the pain. Were you in the room when it happened? No. I mean, can you talk about it or no? Did you get a call? I mean.

Oh, it's really weird. Yeah, I got a call. Actually, I was camping. Oh, shit. I had, I don't know what I was, I was on the middle of working, I was in the middle of working on a project or something. So I'd brought my computer with me.

And there was like one, I was real camping, not like, glamping, right? Yeah, yeah. There was only one place where you could get an internet signal and it's the glamping place where they have a restaurant and a cafe. And I went in there, I think I made a phone call.

And then I almost left and I was like, I should check my email. I actually was in my car. I was driving back to the campsite and then I went back inside to check my email. And I go to check my email and I have a series of messages from my siblings on email, like call, it's an emergency call, it's an emergency.

And I'm thinking it's something completely different than what it was. And I get to my phone, my phone's not working somehow. I still couldn't make like a call out. So I ended up having, I even asked like the hotel, can I use your phone? They wouldn't let me use a phone. So then I had to drive to another store

to get quarters, quarters into a fucking pay phone. Wow. And that's how I got the fucking news. Oh my God, oh my God. So I like tore down my tent and sped home. Wow. That's how I found out, yeah. Oh my God.

And so where was this campsite at? Sequoia. Sequoia, wow. So a four hour drive home. So you went right to Sacramento? No, I came, I was in a rental because I got like a SUV to go camping in. Yeah.

So I drove home and drove to LA. I don't even remember. Oh wow. I mean, I remember, but I'm trying to get a piece of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. I'm sorry for me. Drove to LA and then I think I had to sleep at home that night because by the time I got home it was like 1 a.m.

And then the next day, which I didn't sleep, which is late in bed, then we were all together. Wow, I'm sorry. Like making the plan basically and then I went, he wasn't living in Sacramento and then I went. Oh wow. And flew, yeah. But it does get better is what you're saying.

It does. This is a comedy podcast. Yeah, it does. It's a real podcast, that's what I'm saying. But yeah, you got real, that's why I mean, you know, I wanted to hear it because it helps me, by hearing you, it helps me better understand, you know what I mean, that it gets better for me, right?

And that's why I'm asking. It's not because I wanted to bring up a bad feeling. Right, right, right. It just, it does help me, you know, and that's why I asked. Yeah, the cliche is true. I mean, it changes you forever. Like I lost people in my life before that, but nothing ever like this, ever.

Yeah, yeah. It's, I know, it's so shocking. That was the only time I ever got into an altercation with a cop is when my dad was, he was probably about a month away from passing at that point, but he had another like medical emergency and I was living in Vegas. And my dad was living in LA.

And I got a phone call from my mom saying like, you know, he coded and you should come quickly because I don't think he has much time. And my sister and I and a friend drove from Vegas to LA speeding and we got pulled over. And I was so emotional and so angry. Like I just, it wasn't the cops fault. Blacked out.

I blacked out and I raged out on him for keeping me or for pulling us over. And I had a meltdown on the side of the freeway. And I was, I remember yelling at him. Like if I don't make it there on time and I pointed at his badge, I was like, I will find you. I exploded on him. Liam Eason over here.

He was, he was considerate. And I won't kill you. And he was considerate enough. He saw how emotional I was. So he was like, all right, all right, you know, like, he didn't even give us a ticket. He's like, I understand, sorry, you know. But I felt so much regret like blowing up on him like that.

But that's how emotional I was. Oh yeah. That's it. That's a shitty fucking drive to drive. Like not knowing what's on the other side of it or what news you're going to hear when you finally get there. And, you know, like, there's no way to prepare your emotions in any way at all.

Wow. Yeah. So I'm sorry that happened to you. Yeah, I'm so sorry that happened. But we're here. We're all in the same club. Yeah. We're all in the same club.

We're all in the same club. Hey, we should start one. Dad Dad's Club. Ted Poe, it's a study. That's a good band name. Dad Dad Dad's Club. Wait, Dad Dad's Club. That's a good podcast name.

Yeah. Dad Dad's Club. I'm my group with my siblings, Bastards. Bastards. Do you have a podcast? No, I used to. Oh, what was it called? Deep Tissue.

Oh, that's a good one. Wow. I've always dreamed of, you know what I mean, producing an all-female one. Yeah, that's true. You producing. You mean you're stealing my dreams. You've never said you wanted to produce an all-female one.

So let's get back. I want to ask now, you had to get through the books, all right. What are they? It's a trilogy. Oh, yeah. It's called Juliet Society. Yes. And what is it about?

It is about the first one begins with a young film student named Catherine, who develops a crush on her film history teacher. And befriends this girl that she, in class, that she idolizes, that sort of takes her under her wing and into a secret society. And then each book progresses over a time span. So by book two, three, four years have progressed.

And by book three, another three, four years have progressed. Wow. How long, I mean, how long does one book take to write? The first one I wrote in just under a year, because I had the deal. I had to. And then I'm cold now. And then the second two.

What was that, the air? Hand me the jacket. What the fuck is the air on? Progressive. What was the thing in the air on? Turn the air off. Thanks. Then the second two, I wrote over the span

of, like, five, four years. Yeah. Multinously, something like that. Because I don't read. I don't read. But I love audiobooks. Is there an audiobook version of it? So the first one, yes.

I did the audiobook. I did it myself. Did you really? And then the second two, they didn't. This pisses me off. They didn't tell me. And it's, like, in my contract that they're supposed to tell me who does it at least,

if they don't hire me to do it. And they hired somebody else for the second two. And I heard I've had complaints, let's say. Oh, no. That sucks. Is it Morgan Freeman? That would at least be kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would be amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does all of it. You know what I mean? Not all audiobooks. No, but he does a lot of voiceover. Like documentaries. You know what David Attenborough would be good at?

I love you. I love him. I would suck his dick. Yeah. No, I would. I would like it. In the sound booth, though. Yeah, in the sound booth.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. So we want to do a thing where, who has the, and be, oh, Sasha, be fucking honest. Out of everyone in the room, who has the biggest face? It's George's exempt, because he doesn't. Yeah, he's not Asian. Who has the biggest face?

Who has the biggest Asian face? Face which way? It's all sharp faces. What? Headphones off. You were great at it. Wide, wide, wide. Fantastic film.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, so let's be easy. Yeah. Oh, she keeps looking at me. And John. You're younger, so give it a few years. You might get there, though. I don't care.

I didn't get chosen. Oh, this is hard. Why are you trying to suck your lipstick like that? Why is your stomach sucking? Why are you doing duck face? Oh, this is really hard. Are you choosing between John and Bobby? Yeah.

Oh, it's a Korean. At least, hey. Filipinos, small head Filipinos. Usually, we have biggest face. Well, yours is a little. Yours is a little what? Keep going. You also have facial hair, so it makes it more difficult.

Like cheating, right? Cheating, it is cheating. I'm going to have to say John. Yeah. Yours is longer, though. Fucking melon head, fucking mutants. You ugly fucker, you. Oh, shit.

Have you tried measuring it? I mean, all three of you. All three of you. Yeah, yeah. But I might be up there with John, though. No. Oh, yeah. I want to see that.

Big ass head, small face. You have a small face, though. Big head, but small face. Let me see your head. Go sideways. I have to wear men's hats. OK. Oh, I can't even wear a hat, so that's good.

You have a good size head, but you don't have a big face. I can't really tell. We can. That's kind of scary, though, going. That's just some fucking grudge shit. You know she could be sisters with Giovanna. Antonette? Yeah.

Yeah, a little bit. I think it could be sisters. Oh, I can see that. Yeah, a little bit. A little Latina feel. There's no ethnicities mixed in with you. I mean, there's got to be, because she's. There's got to be some sort of ethnicities,

like some big headed ethnicities. The big headed Asian. Wait, what are big headed ethnicities? Yeah, yeah. I'm a European month, Greek. Oh, you're Greek. But do people think that you have some sort of thing? Or that you're some Asian?

You could be Asian too, a little bit. When I was a kid, people thought, when I was really young, people thought I was Hawaiian. Because Hawaiian was always like that ambiguous we don't know. Yeah. That's what I always thought when I first saw you, was you were half Asian. I had it in my head for the longest time.

Yeah. And then when I was a teenager, Mexican. Right. And now that I'm a vampire these days, I definitely get that less. But I have to say, I mean, we're not done, because we have to do an unhelpful advice, is that I honestly, you know, I didn't know much about you.

I know you diss me at the party. But I'm going to let that go. From now on. What if I told you I was really nervous? Because I was a big fan of Matt TV too. No. Oh, shit. Well, there you go.

I went back. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. But from now on though, would you consider us to be friends? Of course. Good. Well, I mean, like, look, I know it's our mutual friend who kept asking me to come on the podcast. But I would have asked, even if she hadn't.

Well, you were always in our list of people, right? We just, you know, we don't know. He didn't put any way out. Since we're neighborly people, how much toilet paper do you have in your home? And would you give us some if we were? Well, I just went to the store like a week ago. And stocked up.

And I usually get two big cases. So I'm good for, like, two months. Yeah, but she's asking if we can have a couple of rolls. So you need some? Like, right now. Hotlet. OK, good. We don't have any rolls?

We're running low, but I bear hand. You guys have a bidet? I'm not afraid. You have a bidet? We have a bidet, but I use a Filipino tabo, which is, like, a Filipino's bare hand. Yeah. What do you mean, you take your regular hand?

So, OK, the amount of toilet paper we use is this. What is my tactic? I don't bear hand my shit by bear hand my ass. So because I don't have to wipe to completion, I take a little bit of toilet paper. I get most of it out. And then you use a tabo and soap to wash out your butthole. Or else my day cannot continue.

Like, you see me in public restrooms. I always have a water bottle and then a little bit of soap. Because my asshole has to be shiny. Have you noticed that by the toilet, there's that ax body wash that's next to the toilet? Yeah, yeah. I've been trying to do my own system. With the soap?

No, I do the bidet thing. I shoot the fucking thing in my asshole. And you make a bubble bath for your asshole? Yeah, I do. So I'll stick a little bit of toilet paper. I'll put the fucking, you know what I mean, the body wash in my butthole. So your butthole foams.

So I spray and then I take my cheeks and I spread them open so it gets inside the hole. Are you squatting? Yeah, I'm kind of like doing like this. And spraying in it and it feels so good, it feels so clean. It feels so nice. Tickles. I don't feel a lot in my asshole at all.

Ever? Maybe to the coma. I think so. I think that's when the water hits, like when the bidet hits the foams, you feel it all. And back there, it's sort of just. Yeah, my asshole's not sensitive either, lady. Well, let me put stuff up there then.

No, baby. It's for poo and dicks. For poo and dicks only. You know what I mean? Did you ever do anal sex? Yes. Oh, God, we jumped off that boat. Sorry, sorry, sorry, my bad.

In fact, you said you knew me. We do a thing at the end called unhelpful advice. So we have someone email us. Some people ask questions, they have problems. And we try to answer or not answer. Or not answer. Oh, we do give them bad advice as well. OK, unhelpful.

Unhelpful advice with Barty Kalima and Sasha Gray. All right, so we're going to keep the theme this whole episode has been about. A year ago, I was diagnosed with an inflammatory bowel disease. I'm now in remission, but I still have problems with diarrhea and bloody stool. The bathrooms at my work are very close to the workspace.

You can hear everything going on in there. So after going to the toilet for the first time at work a month ago, I decided I never wanted to go again. The sounds coming out of my butthole were so loud and weird that when I was done and got out, all my colleagues were staring at me, and they looked at me like I was gross. At lunch, a guy that I had a huge crush on

was laughing with other people at my work and how loud my farts were. Now I haven't gone to the bathroom for a month, and my stomach is in pain for the whole day every day because I don't want to be known as the gross diarrhea girl. My doctors haven't found anything that makes it better, and no diet has helped. Should I let my loud diarrhea out and face embarrassment

and rejection or keep it in and suffer? I think she means keep it in until she gets home. Yeah, so she's not doing shit breaks at work. Nope, she holds it in, and she's in pain. Isn't holding it in worse? Yeah. Yeah. You know, for me, I have survival techniques

when it comes to toilets. Public toilets. How to muffle the sound? No, I do things like, you know, sometimes there's a handicap toilet, you know what I mean? Right, it's one. You ever seen one of those? It's the best one.

It's the best one, but when there's a handicap guy waiting to use it, and you're using it. Which never happened. It happened to me one time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could see his crutches underneath the thing, right? So I felt like, oh my god, why am I in this one? So when I flushed the toilet and I left.

Did you limp out? Yeah, I did the thing. I go, it's your turn, and I did the thing, right? So I survive in public restrooms. And I even say, it's your turn, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, which was, he's like, and he's probably like, I'm not retarded, dude. I just have funky legs.

But my point is that, but also in, if I have a loud situation, I work with the environment. I would put on your cell phone, maybe some sort of ambient music. Not ambient, you know. Maybe industrial, yeah. Industrial, yeah. Like do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

And so whenever you have the Rihanna, call back. Call back, you know, you probably would do that. Or, you know what, it also could be something that you could be very clear about with your coworkers and tell people go, listen, I have this, this is a real advice. I have this stomach issue, you know what I mean? That's a medical problem.

And I have, you know, loose stool, and it makes noises. I just feel embarrassed, you know? And so. Could you not tell the boys about it? Not my, at least not my crush. No, no, no, I would say, and so when I'm in the bathroom, can people, can I have a special sign that goes up,

that they go in? Can that bring more attention to it? Just have a photo of Rihanna. Shit alert, shit alert. If they're not away another floor, what is this office situation like? Yeah, like a McDonald's across the street. I don't know.

It's all very close, apparently. Yeah. I would own it. I would own it, too. I would say, hey, you know what? Like this is just. Who cares? Yeah, who cares?

This is what, this is the situation at hand. My farts are louder than yours. Everyone does it. Yeah. And what I do when I'm particularly shy that day, is I just keep flushing and pushing when I flush. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, yeah.

So you're not conserving water, okay. No, but I'm conserving. That for the environment. Yeah, but I love shit. I do my, so it's my maximum is three flushes. Yeah. Before I get conscious about the environment, Bobby. Hey, yeah.

I try to just maximum push each one, which is not really a good thing if you have IBS because you shouldn't be pushing that hard. You should just let it out as it comes. Yeah. Could you vocally muffle? Distinguish a lot? No, just go.

Or something, you know what I mean? That's what I do, yeah. But the one thing I will tell her, the advice, my advice is definitely do not hold it in like that, cause it's making you sicker and uncomfortable and miserable. Oh, I would fuck it. I would not hold it.

Also like CBD. What do you mean, CBD doesn't do shit? What does it do? I don't know about that. You think CBD works? On farts? On. Sight?

On inflammation. Oh, all right. Okay, don't get angry. So I don't know what. It does what the farts. Yeah, I don't know what does. Do you smoke a lot of weed, Sasha? No.

Ever. You drink? Yes. A lot? No. Okay. Good question. I just want to know, I'm trying to get her history.

No, I used to smoke a lot. Where were you on the night of? No, if she's going to be a friend of mine. Yeah. I'm really want to establish a real friendship with her. I have to know all the nooks and crannies of what she's all about. I don't want to be friends with a drug addict.

Oh, that is true. Okay. Well, let me say something. I have a clear idea of who you are as a person. And I have to. Over an hour? Am I? Yeah, yeah, I do.

Can you give me the stamp? Am I approved? Am I not approved? They're ranking as a person. What? In the room? Yeah, yeah. Band.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No ranking systems. Yeah. As a human being, and I'm talking about morality, ethics, what you look like, how you dress, and everything's going to like count, right? So here we go. I'm going to end like this, okay?

And this is truly, I'm saying this based on if, you know, there was a zombie apocalypse and I had to live with a survive with a group of people that I could trust and that could do the job, right? Build the fence. Also not steal things and be honorable. But also in a zombie apocalypse, I want you to look good as well.

You know what I mean? I know there's things that are like, you know, more important, I guess, like nutrition and sleep and your safety, but I want you to look good as well. So I'm going to have to rank everyone from one through 10 in terms of those things that I just said, okay? So with George, I would have to give you a,

It's waiting for it. A nine. Oh my God. Out of 10. I'll tell you why, because your fashion would be terrible and I wouldn't have to look at you, but I would be like, I don't want to look at that guy, but when I want to say in terms of like,

you would get shit done. I would tell you to do things and you would do it. You know what I mean? You would do it, you know, right? You, right? I'll give you a seven, okay? Because I think that you wanderlust a little bit. I do, I think that you daydream.

I think that you're confused, right? I think that I, I think I would, I think you would steal some rations and if I confronted you, you'd be like, yeah, I did it. Why? Because I have two kids and I did it. You would admit, right? But, and I think that you would try to smoke things

that you shouldn't smoke. I mean, that's not weed, dude. That's fucking, that's shit, that's shit. You know what I mean? You're like, I know, but I miss the days where you smoke weed all the time. Right, so I'll give you a seven. Sweetie, I'd give you a nine as well.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, because I think that you would be, not only that, but you would be very difficult for me. You complain a lot and you'd be analytical about things. I'm the complainer in this situation. Yeah, but like you would, you would, you would say things, I would have to say in that environment, I'll write myself.

I would say I was a four. No, you have rhino hide for skin. You're very hard to penetrate with an ax. Whoa. So he, he has very thick, like, you know how seal have this extra layer of blubber? How do you know? He's a, he's a good singer.

He really, is that that's a face thing that he has? Thank you, Gabby. Gabby, I'm gonna give you, Gabby, I'm gonna give you- Keep in mind, this is my desktop for the past year. Just keep that in mind. All right. That's been my desktop.

I'm gonna have to give you, Gilbert, your ego. What about you? I think there's a competitiveness with you and there's an ego- Iron, sharpens iron, absolutely. Right, that there's an ego- You say iron, sharpens iron. Yeah, because I have-

Iron, sharpens iron. My ego makes my ego better. I would have to give you a seven. Your ego, your ego would get in the way. Take away the ego. You have to take away the ego in a zombie apocalypse. And what would it be? It's stuff like, I can already tell it's like,

dude, what the fuck? The fence, you can't, you have to fix the fence. Yeah, Bobby, the fence is open, the zombies coming in. And then, you know, you would be like, dude, you know, you have hands too. You would say that to me. I know that. You think I would say that?

Yeah, yeah. And you'd probably, it's six months since like, dude, why are you the leader? You're the worst. So you would stage a coup? He would stage a coup. I would only stage a coup for my queen. Who's your queen?

Yeah. Oh, thank you. Oh, you're a four now. Because you know what? You're a four now. Probably give me a 10. Thank you. I'd stage a coup for you.

Sasha, I would have to, based on my knowledge of you and all the things, I would have to give you a nine as well. You're too kind. Because you seem like you would have his energy, right? But your energy, the way you talk and your chillness, right, is a calmness. His is just a stupidity and a dumbness and a confused. He's just confused.

Yours is more analytical, right? And thinking things through and being like, I honestly think in, like, if John was like being gnarled, right, and the fence that he didn't build, John gets pulled out of there, right? And I'm like knocking, trying to get in there. And that you would be like, and it would be like, and you would be like more like,

it's okay, you just got to figure it out. I have all the toilet paper. Here, see? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to the store already. Yeah, we got all the toilet paper. That's true. And I think that you would be very analytical.

I think you two would be good together, right? I think I would have to give you eventually the mantle. I would probably one day, six months in, I'd probably be like, I'm the one bringing in the meat. It doesn't matter, you're a woman. I'm the hunter. That's the Tiger Belly Pad game. I'm kidding.

Either one. I would go, you know, you guys are both running it. He will never have it. I don't need it. You won't get it. It's okay, Claude. I have my own village. Yeah, he's...

You're a fucking betrayer. Did you get me? The same one as the dumb guy? That's an answer. It is so... I know, but the retort can't be like... You could have said 7.5. 8.

I know, I know. 7.5. John, are you offended? No, no, no. See, that's why. That's why I can say whatever to this guy. He'll just giggle it off. He accepts it.

Yeah. But how about a nice round of applause for Sasha Gray, everybody? Thank you. Great job. Great job. Hey, guys. Thanks for listening to episode 238 with the one and only Sasha Gray. I hope you enjoyed it.

And like today, how we asked a question for unhelpful advice, you can too as well. Send your question at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. We're looking for interesting, unusual, not typical problems and we need your help as much as you want ours. Once again, that is adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. And like every week we've been doing this is we have a meme contest. So if you are listening and you made it all the way to the housekeeping, make a meme and hashtag the meme Tiger Belly on Instagram or on Twitter and then we will choose a winner.

And the winner gets a little gift bag from us. So we've been, people have been making amazing stuff online. So do the contest. Make a meme of episode 238 with Sasha Gray. Find a moment here and make us laugh and you can win too. So far, all information, Bobby Lee, go to Bobby Lee Live, for everything Kalyla, go to Calamity K, for everything George, George, I'm just going to work Kimmel, I believe everything John is at John Na, the winner of the Big Face Contest and myself at Kyo Bits.

We love you guys very much, leave some comments, hit us up on iTunes, give us five stars, leave a comment and we love you guys, have a good one, also shout out to Cam. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon music, download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.