TigerBelly - Ep 247: The Honorable Judge Asa

Episode Date: May 27, 2020

Asa is the judge. Bobby represents himself. Khalyla reminisces about amoebiasis. We talk bed muffins, cute trauma, 0.4 GPA, and double epiphanies. We also find out who has been in more IRL gang bangs, Bobby or Asa? Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Ba da ba da bum bum bum bum ba da ba da ba Hey No one knows a lure no one knows the lyrics to that song. Just call I'll let me know You remain Also puts a makeup on seal the scars distracting. Hey, that's a cultural thing. Oh my bad I didn't know I thought that wasn't like a spear. No because I dated a guy from Um

Scala has the most amount of segway so yeah, I did it a guy. Yeah. Yeah, but he had this clarification from his village Oh, is that what it is? It's a ritualistic. I don't know if that's what seals thing is I just assumed it. It's like a yakuza if yakuza saying it, right? Yeah They have a samurai sword Like it does yakuza singing. Yeah. Yeah, but up on bottom And his hand comes up and his fingers missing the same thing. It's like cultural. It's cultural. Yeah I mean, oh, you know, I lost this in my boss made me shop it off. I Don't know that you know what I mean

Asian Pacific American Heritage Month everyone Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up? I have to say I want to apologize to begin with because You know, we have a young lady living in the house and she's like a daughter to me. She really is She tells me what to do. I'll tell you what happened the other day. She goes. Um, she goes Uncle Tito I go. Yeah woman. That's how I talked to all the ladies in the house all your daughters No, I don't and I go Yes, yes, Juliana. Oh Rudy She goes, um, can you um put things away when you take it out?

So go, you know, that's fair. Good. That's fair, right? Am I not right George? Right if I take something out like English muffin because the English muffin was sitting there in the kitchen and she's tired of like Going uncle Tito brought up the English muffin. So She goes, I've had enough so she tells me so the other day after she tells me that She goes to her bedroom and she sees a whole package of English muffins on her bed And it's so sad because she she didn't even think the worst of you she just assumed Julio brought it there Julio the dog No, I did not stole it from the counter and brought it to the bed That's some like mafia type of shit. You're doing was me leaving stuff, right? You tell me what to do, right?

And I'm gonna take it the other direction All right, that's still not true. I know because these these women have me on uh, no, no, no I kind of want to just get to the bottom of it really like from a psychological standpoint What is what is your thought process when because your stats right now are 10 for 10 10 for 10? You will not find I don't think you know what a trash can is. I don't know I know what a trash can is. I don't know what you what the word I don't think you know what the word return Or put back in its place means like I don't think you know any of that. So any psychological process I want to know like what happened as a child to where you were just

I'm gonna tell you the process of me taking it on an English muffin May I do that? May I defend myself, please? Yeah, go ahead. Okay So this is I wake up Uh-huh, right natural which is I'm a human being and I need nutrientsies Inside my systems Right. Am I not right Gil? That's I need vitamin c d all to z. I need it all To get all the joints moving and to get energies Right. So I you know, I go, you know, what's the easiest? I also don't know how to make a lot of collagen

in the English muffin Gilbert a lot of good a lot of good collagen in there Yeah, uh-huh. So I so I go, okay. Okay English muffin. So I you know, of course, they get the complex ones What's complex the complex? No, the the English muffins that are complex. No, it's the most standard No, I have to I have to open it. Oh, he has to cut it. I have to cut it. You say the packaging is complex No, no, I'm not the packaging the actually muffin. I have to put in the toaster, right? I have to line it up, you know, I mean Yeah, and then it's usually like, you know, I mean the bottom part

It it it goes. No, it goes thick and then completely thin at the edge So then when you put it in the toaster or half of it's black because anyway, yeah, it's it's a good brand It's a good brand but my point is this okay, so I put it in there, right? I take out my peanut butter, which I love sometimes I put manuka honey Sometimes I put jelly depending how I pop off feels, you know, sometimes I do a combination Right, I look at yeah, right. All right. So then I um I think it's cute how he he uses like really really fru fru jam

And really like fancy expensive manuka honey But you can't get you can't tear him away from skippy peanut peanut butter. It's skippy not organic like forever No, because the other shit when you get organic organic peanut butter It's like you open it up and there's like a sea of oil on top. You're gonna mix it around I don't mix papa doesn't mix was it premixed. Yeah. Yeah. I want to premix. Thank you. I don't want to do the work All right, okay So, um, I like jiffy because it's you don't have to do that shit. It's skippy. No, it's jiffy. Oh, whatever whatever the bread Right. All right. So I put the stuff on the english muffin, right?

And I and I always get like a little orange orange juice Because I love orange juice That's right, and I and I eat it And I'm always like gadgeting too when I'm eating it, right Twitter, you know, I mean what's going on politically or whatever it might be and then, um I go play warzone What happens to all the stuff you just that's what I'm saying that's see there now we're getting to it Now we're getting to it, right? Okay. There's a little lapse, right between eating, right and warzone

I just kind of black out and it's a condition. I might have to go see I might have to talk about it with my therapist Koila, what do you think that blackout moment is? Well, he's been I mean Part of the drawback of going to therapy is that he now a lot of his Actions have now been validated with a diagnosis. So all he has to see is I'm sorry. I'm an add kid So therefore like he cannot he can I ptsd as a kid. It's insidiously nice add Whatever it might be, you know, I mean I have all kinds of conditions going on, right? So who knows him? It's about my past. It's my dad's fault

If my dad didn't hit hit me, right? I might be able to put the english muffin away But that's like saying I hear here here. Yeah, but that's like saying I have cancer and I don't want to heal I don't want to get better like you you get a diagnosis because you want to you want to somehow You know getting a diagnosis of something should be sort of a sigh of relief saying I know What's ailing me? I know why I'm this way now. Let's try and And improve on it improve on my life improve on my surroundings make my partner less resentful Make juliana less resentful Put the jam back like I just want to know what crosses your mind. I don't think that's add anymore

That's just straight disrespect. That's just straight fucking just no regard for for the people around that you live with Okay, and you know what? I apologize and you have a very good point there solid with With that was articulate. Damn articulate. You backed it up and you're absolutely 100 correct But I had an epiphany the other day Okay, I had an epiphany the other day. I'm sitting outside. I got up around 3 p.m Right, you know, I get up all groggy, you know, I'm outside. I'm smoking a cigarette. I'm sorry. I'm gonna quit guys So don't comment or you know tweet at me. Bob's gotta quit. You know, I know I got I'm gonna quit All right, but and I think about that every day

So I was sitting out there smoking a cigarette and I'm drinking my little iced coffee And I had an epiphany Number one. I asked myself How did I get here? That's the number one thought number two I don't know nothing It was like an epiphany, I don't know how I got here

I have no skill level. I don't know how I survived it Right, but here I am In the backyard of this house smoking cigarette going What happened? Like I I don't know how to I don't know how to get into my bank account You know what I mean? I don't know. I'll be real. I'm being honest with you. Remember George. We had this discussion last week Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how oh, yeah What was it? What was the discussion?

Because I was telling you last week. We need to Be more economical about our expenses because you don't know I I know that you're not on the road. So in my head, I tally up what we should be spending Versus what's coming in and I was telling George last week. I was like he doesn't know how much he makes Anywhere so he's still spending the same But that's not that that's not the epiphany the epiphany is even beyond that The epiphany is I don't even know how I got here You know, like if I look back at my life at my lot. No at my life. It's like I don't know

Because I I I I have no skill Right. I like, you know, all I can do is at goofy That's I've survived. I don't know if that's skill, but like I'm a goofy fucker That's an in a god-given talent. That's what she says, but I don't know if it's a talent I think it's more of a um, I was born wrong and then with the elements of my the history of my life, right? I was born kind of like abnormal maybe not retarded, but sorry But like okay, so I was born abnormal, right? Sensitive extra sensitive, right? Maybe not the brightest, you know, cooking the jar

Okay, if I can use that term, right? And then my dad beat the shit out of me with alcoholism and you know me a lot of chaos You're right. I think that and I developed the defense mechanism Because it was just too real for me, which is which was humor I used to joke things off or make myself laugh at night. You know what I mean by farting weird In the bed as a kid, you know, whatever I might be and goof around and act Rambunctious and rebellious

And then and then I and then I don't know what happened But my point is is that I don't really have any like I I know vaguely about history. I know things vaguely, but do you ever think that like I really how did I get here? Wait, this is your rebuttal Yeah It all goes back to the English muffin. It goes back to the English muffin. Is that what you got to the English muffin? Yeah, I don't even know how you know me. I don't even know that He doesn't even know where he started with English muffin. It's

Basically I got lost. I got lost. I got lost. I got you caught me. You caught me. You caught me This is his rebuttal to that articulate comment from club. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's actually it's it's a perfect parallel Whatever happened just now So the fact that he started with an English muffin and then he ended where he didn't even know What he was talking about is a parallel to his life that he was trying to explain Right It's that's just how his life works. He starts somewhere and then doesn't know how he ends up

Got there. I see. No, it's like I'll give you an example Right. Sometimes like I remember one time I was in Hawaii shooting magnum p. I Right. And the director is coming up to me And going, you know, I'm just giving me some sort of note You know what I mean? Like, you know, well, you know, your character is coming in here Right because he wants this from this character And and this all this stuff happened in the past. That's why you shouldn't be smiling right now Right

And then I I didn't say this but I wanted to go. I don't know what's happening right now in the scene I don't know how I got here. Yeah, in general. Yeah in general, you know, I don't even know what you're I didn't read it I don't know what I don't even know what this is about. Yeah, but that's how that's an add thing Oh You're there we go. There we go. It's an add thing because we're getting somewhere Yeah, the problem with add is that you actually don't have a surgeon dopamine. You have the opposite. So you have low dopamine Yeah, yeah, see exactly where it's like he's already No, no, I'm really I'm laughing at what you're saying. What does she just say? What does she repeat what she just said?

Low dopamine. She's what she said So if you had enough dopamine that would appease your reward system So you wouldn't be easily excitable by other shiny things If that makes any sense. Yeah. So when the director is talking to you right, yeah That it's not appeasing that reward system in your brain So then your attention goes to like different parts that you'd rather be that are more excitable than the fucking chore that he's putting onto you

Oh, that's what it is then. Yeah, because it you you do view it as that work is very stressful for you It's the same reason why I'm a procrastinator and I think a lot of people who are like Perfectionists are procrastinators Is that we see it as like a chore and something to perfect? So it's very heavy in our heads So we want to reduce that stressful time to about One day versus two weeks Um, so we like to like think of everything else to do like for example I get the most housework done when I have something big to do that day

Like when George tells me edit the patreon for some reason the laundry the whole house is clean Keep doing that George I would rather do that than anything else. Yeah But you you see it Gilbert when we play warzone together. Oh my gosh. What I don't know what's going on Three guys are shooting me in the back. I'm shooting at a garbage can you're yelling at me. What are you doing down there? You know what's crazy like when I first watched you play with Eric. I thought I was oh Bobby obviously He's a goof. He's he knows how to play into the comedy, but then I realized playing with you No cameras on us just me you and your brother. Yeah, you are actually full of anxiety and a thing that's supposed to be escapism

You're supposed to enjoy the game laugh with your friends Because you are like literally have so much anxiety. It's almost like your father just died or something They laugh at each other because and people laugh when they play with us because they're like It's always oh, we deserve to die. We're gonna kill ourselves. It's a lot of shame. Yeah. We're always shame. Yeah This is why he's not a good candidate. I cannot stress to you guys Like I'm sure there are women out there listening to this now who are like no, it's fine My boyfriend's a gamer and he actually like he's tolerable around the house like my sister's boyfriend is a gamer But he's quiet for 14 hours

He just does this thing even if it's games like war zone or or things like that that are like exciting and and But him we're about to get a fucking Complaint from the neighbors any second now you can hear him Like the street over like if you walk into our driveway and into the street like let's say you're just a pastor by walking You can hear his screams Like in his blood curling screams. Do you hear me scream George? I mean not George Gilbert here. It's so crazy the way you're describing. I don't get when I'm with him I'm curious who he's playing with that rouse and I'm like he's more quiet

He actually gets angry because we're all talking That's what I'm curious. Is it the people you play with? Maybe at times. Yeah Maybe at times, but you know I do there are time But I you know there are times where I'm trying to be mindful about it. Maybe when I'm playing with you I'm more mindful about it, but um And you know that game I'm not I'm never going to be good at it Steve's never going to be good at it, but the reason why I like it. It's the challenge of it

It's fun. It's fun in that way. It's challenging. It's like surviving and trying to figure out, you know, I mean how to Um position myself shoot a gun gun. Yeah, don't be like that Don't be like that right now. You're very good. You're very good at rockets. You're very good at rockets Can I just say that? I'm very good at rockets. Yeah. Yeah, and getting money Anyway, so this is how this is where I got to and I want to apologize to jules You know because I guess I was being um friday at bad friends. I was being um I was making sexual noises and people were weirded out by it. Chomo. I chomo, you know me and child molester Yeah, right. Never number one fact never molested anybody. True. I checked. I've never molested anybody

I don't have the desire. That's not even an inkling if I turn on nicolodian. I don't not even a half chest Hey, well, don't defend it too much. Don't defend yourself so hard. Shall we bring in asa for the rest of this to get her opinion? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we should talk to asa for this. So we have to talk to asa So we have an old tiger belly fan friend Fan friend. We have tiger belly belly fan friend. Dear friend. Dear very good friend of ours I'll can let me introduce her real quick and then um, we'll have her on. I'm gonna introduce her Oh, oh, oh, oh shit. Oh shit. She looks like ring ring. Oh Hey asa can you hear us? Yeah, I can so um, you know, we don't have a lot of regulars on the show

But we have a lot of people, you know, and we we maybe two people right and that we would consider maybe family And she also helped us in the beginning build our audience, you know, I think that dvd asa and asa akira um really Put a catapult of us into into doing tiger belly and so um, we always Always going to pay homage to you and david because we would have never done it without you guys And then when we started ours, you were a frequent guest

Our first our first guest. Yeah, our first video guest and um, we considered you consider you um, family here at the tiger belly family here and um, we love you that much Even though I texted you last week and it took you a day to text me back You know, I'm gonna let that go. I don't know what that was about but um, she is um our friend. Um Um, she's uh a companion somebody that we uh, we enjoy immensely Give her a round of applause asa akira

Wow Thank you guys That was actually like the nicest intro I've ever gotten I think for anything Yeah, I mean, we you know, you do you feel the love from us or no? Yes, I do absolutely I'm you know, can I tell you something? I knew that when I was texting george I was like, hey like just two things. I don't want to talk about And I knew as I was texting that I was like, there's no way this text Is gonna mean anything. That's why I was like, here's the thing that we do asa

If we don't want him to mention something We just don't even mention it to him at all because the fact that you're telling him not to do something Is a hundred percent pushing him to say that one thing. It's a guarantee I remember like a couple times ago that I was on the show I texted kalayla right before the show and I was like, hey just so you know like I just got my eyebrows tattooed And they look really crazy. So like sorry and kalayla Specifically was like no matter what don't tell bobby because he will point it out Yeah, I know but you know

That was the first thing he pointed out. Yeah, the show started. Yeah, but a month ago I was working with a friend and um, he had hair plugs And he goes don't mention my hair plugs and I went the other direction I just started bombarding him with a hair plug, you know And then he got almost violent, you know, so then I would thought to myself. Maybe that's not the right thing to do Oh, so, you know, we all we learned as we live We learn as we live my friend. That's such a late lesson for you So

It's so funny. He's You would think that in therapy they would teach him about about people's boundaries So far they're only teaching about his own boundaries, but they're not telling him that other people have boundaries So they're when people say, hey, this is my line You're not supposed to be a habitual line stepper. Yeah, but when people go to medical school, they don't become a doctor right away Am I not right? It takes eight years of training So the first week you you probably learned about amoebas Amoebas and how

Vessels work within the the organism within yourself Right a year later that you you you learn about viruses and cancer or whatever it may be I have a question to you americans Is was amoeba something that you heard a lot when you were younger? and Like to get you sick It was a record store for me It was a record store, but I feel like I

I Was always very bad in science and amoeba is the word I know Right because in the Philippines you hear it a lot because if you we get amoebiasis a lot because we don't have A water system that we don't have drinkable water coming out of our faucets So if you don't boil your water or if you don't drink bottled water So amoebasis is something that we got a lot of so when you say amoeba It's not that it's not a childhood record store that brings on good feelings all of it's a very virulent thing Do you remember when you you you you?

Um kind of shame me will not shame me, but you said how do you know what? How do you know what Bunsen burner is? Oh, that's right. Right, but I then I thought about why I know that And because I remember when I was in like middle school and I was in science class. I kept I called it burner burner I actually don't know what that word is. So it's like I don't know what it is I don't know what it is, but I just know that so I don't know what it is in chemistry class also It's that long thing that you light That

When they said when they go I go um So they said something about like pick that thing up I go you mean the burner burner and I remember the teacher Going Bunsen burner and I remember me going Bunsen burner Bunsen burner in my head. You know me to memorize it So you got shamed twice about yeah Yeah There's there's a point at which like shame is warranted And for someone like bobby

It kind of like it's it's 50 50. There are times where you're like, you know what? I don't want to shame you and other times when you're like you absolutely need to be punished in the daylight You know what I mean? Yes. I know what you mean. Oh, I understand. So when you were in high school Um, did you get good grades? No I got good grades up until I discovered like weed and boys and other drugs, I guess but I once I discovered all that stuff like I I graduated high school with a 0.4 gpa I know I know me too

Me too My senior year I had to take so I had to take a zero period a lunch period and a seventh period So I got there at like six in the morning. I didn't leave till 5 p.m Oh, that could be lose and then when I graduated right they go You can't do that because you didn't graduate because you have to do take the summer school I go, I know but I cried I go Can I walk with everyone and just give me a diploma, but don't put anything in it? And they go because I had all these people from um, alcohol is anonymous

I lied in the meeting saying that I want everyone to come to my graduation And then they said then the school says you're not graduating So then I cried because I knew all these like 20 dudes from my men's group Like so then I remember this Graduating, you know me picking up my diploma, right? And I'm on the stage and I remember all my AA guys They were like crying so proud of me, right? But but I knew that I lied Is it one of the steps not to bamboozle people? I bamboozled I did the one step

So I yeah, so I I'm along with you. I don't uh, they thought yeah that I was never gonna make it. Yeah Yeah, you know, it's so funny too. It's like, you know, they never tell you Right asa high school. They never tell you the other jobs you could have Right They never tell you they go you gotta be a doctor or engineer, right? You're so right. Yeah Because if they want to tell you about the other jobs the other job if they would have said yeah You could do fart jokes on stage as well I would be like what class is that? Oh, I have a future, but I didn't feel like I thought I was gonna die in my 20s

Because I'm like one of my I can't be a doctor lawyer or engineer You know, I mean and then if I work as a waiter relates to my life, I mean, it'll be fine But you need to spread that news. I know there are other jobs. There are other jobs here Why don't you guys make sure that you go to even you go to career day and you talk about your My god, yeah Yeah, and then we all can also show, you know, how much money I mean You show your pay stuff No, but you know what because I thought that I was in the uh

When I was in Thailand, I saw I walked by a store and they were selling. Um, you know when they do, um Cockfights with the roosters And you know the cockfight they have the little knives in the knives. Somebody makes knives right For the cockfighting right like that's someone's job. No, I have but when I was in high school. They didn't tell me that They go you can also be a cockfight a knife maker wait, but also like like That's not to say that person might be like educated

Oh, that's oh like that might be like a real like yeah, like that might be like a real like engineer That's culture. Oh, yeah. Yeah a knife maker knife makers are like legit All right. Well, I know I maybe thought it was the wrong example. No offense to those people No offense to those people. Yeah, but yeah, some people so it's like You know, we had this thing called peer counseling in high school And then we also had you know a counselor designated to us to tell a career counselor, I guess and I remember Them going maybe you could are you good at woodshop? Like you know me because that's what they do with the stoners and the fucked up people like like, you know

Work with metals and stuff like that and I just like I'm not good at that either So, you know, but I think they also you and I should have a curriculum We go to schools and we teach about either comedy or the adult entertainment business I think you should turn it into a show Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, it's like a queer eye. It's like a feel-good show where you're able to You know extract dreams and ideas from kids and help them mold help them shape their own You know their their own idea of what they want to do versus just the standard doctor or You know, yeah, call it career day

Also, we have another question for you. That's very important that we've been arguing about So my niece who is a high schooler lives with us Um, we treat her like a daughter. She is somebody that we treasure. She's also just a very good She does bad friends with um, she's also 18 years old. She's 18, but she's still in high school She's also she just came here from the Philippines. How long have you been here? Jews? Two years One year one year 10 months. Oh, she's right here. Yeah, she's here. She she she she's uh She's come over here. Say hi to our friend. So you have a visual with the store. Yeah, I have a visual Hi, oh wait, how do I make your screen bigger? Sorry

Wait, can you guys say something so that your screen is bigger because right now? How are you All right, sit back down sit back down Okay, so she she's not like She's not like we were in high school like I was sucking dick a lot in high school in fact In fact, um, you know, you know how you had like a school counselor and they're supposed to teach you about that stuff Right, she'd be like hey for starters. How about stop sucking dick and that's that's the advice that I got from You know people in school. So she's not give me that advice as well

She's not she's not like us. Okay. Um Um, she gets straight A's. She has a 4.0 Um, she does everything without having you know without being told what to do. She just does it She's really good. She's a good girl. She's a good girl all throughout. Um, she watches anime all day Um reads books Um, doesn't date doesn't really talk to boys. She has crushes, but you know, like I'm like so curious where this question is going How could I possibly answer a question for a person like this?

Barbie Barbie The three of us weren't disney kids think of hers. She's she's a disney. She's a disney girl. She's a disney teenager the best. Um So bobby she she helps bobby um on his other podcast with andrew santino And she is sort of the third mic, but she's just basically there to make sure that the show's like running well and um last week bobby started talking about her in like Making like sexual noises. No, I was speculating on how she masturbates and things like that No, I was saying this. Okay. She has no let me defend myself

First of all, I just want to say I believe kalayla Continue before any other arguments before yeah, like go ahead, but that's why you're not a judge No career day for you. Okay, so um, okay, but I want to hear maybe so she has a um She's into anime and I'm an anime as well and she she likes a character from one of the anime Is an anime called haiku haiku and what's the character's name? Kuro Kuro. She has a crush on an anime and anime character who's a volleyball player So I said to andrew, you know at nights, right? She's watching like anime. No, no, no

Just let me finish. I mean I mean, I'm sorry. May I finish right? I have my time on the on the floor. Thank you judge. Um, the stain Where did you hear that word from? Excuse me judge, um, man finished my point. Um, so she's um You know that she's you know at night watching anime and then you can hear probably The noises and she's masturbating to Anime I thought that that would have been a funny little but it wasn't just a quick thing He went on and on and on for like basically six different times on the podcast and he kept on

Also, how is that any different than what kalayla said? It's literally what she said that I Okay, I've seen law shows. I've seen law shows. Are you right? I've seen law shows where the defense attorney, right? It's his turn to go on to the you know the platform or however they say it And he you can tell that he's up against you know, I mean up against it. There's no really defense, but he tries Right. Yeah, I know your honor that you know, my client, you know had you know the victim's um Dick in his mouth that he had severed off, right? And then he had they found the family underneath his house You know what I mean, but um, he really wasn't there. I mean they try to do a defense

Evidence, right? So that's what I just did. All right. I had to defend myself So what's the question though? The question is like Basically, I've you know, she's 18. We've allowed her to have this little like side job. I don't want It doesn't it doesn't I don't want him to exploit her in that way because I feel especially Protective of her because I do um like I do take on like a mother role and I feel like bobby should as well And for me to think that a 50 year old father figure would speculate about what his teenage daughter masterbates to is creepy But your honor your honor, man. Make a point

Your honor man make a point. Okay. You're looking at juliana. She's nodding. Oh, it doesn't matter your honor I have a point and I just thought of the point your honor. All right. Is is that It is not against the law is it to do that? It's not against the law Your honor, this is about the law, right? This is about the law, right? It's not about the law. This is yeah, this is what we're doing a court thing Okay, hang on. I just have one more point to make no, but if we were talking about the law We wouldn't even be talking about it on tiger belly Exactly. We're lawless

But there are certain laws within that lawlessness In the wild wild west there are still things that are acceptable and unacceptable, right? So for me, if you don't inherently know if that's not your instinct to say, hey, you know what? I want to protect Um, my niece or my daughter Then you've got some weird woody allen shit that you need to sort out in therapy. Oh really? Wait, that's too far. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Cool. I'll try to sneak that in there. Come on. Come me out No, it's like only because okay here This is where you'll that I am a fair judge because I don't think it's fair to say to compare you to woody allen because

woody allen allegedly like raped Oh, he did he didn't just and that's different look at look at calla playing innocent. Well, I don't actually actually I'm not sure if he raped or just like molested but even aside from that woody woody allen also That's his stepdaughter, right? Adopted daughter, right that he adopted right raised right and he was underage Right and married her and it's fucking her. Yeah, but I think that I think there's a far Difference between that. Oh, wait. Hold on. I wasn't even talking about that one. Oh, shit. I was talking about mia ferro's kid

Oh, I so anyway, yeah We basically associated bobby with the sex so But I I see what you're saying though like koala. I agree that it's it's unacceptable All right, fine. So I lost the I lost the the the hearing and um, I want to say this I will I will treat her Like she's a 12 year old girl, right? That's not what I'm saying. You don't infantilize her I will I will I You get one or the other

No, either either I treat her like my friends and like my peers and like how I treat everyone else Or you treat her like she's a kid. There's a there's a way to I'm not doing a third thing. Listen, there's a way to empower a young girl sexually My thing is I don't I don't want to protect her from the elements of life like when I talked to her I want to empower her sexually. She's a growing girl. Whatever. I don't want to suppress that about her I just don't think that it's your place to publicly talk about her squirting like that's just weird to me It's not a factual thing that she did it. It was a hypothetical thing And I want to kind of defend myself too Andrew Santino then said to the audience right send her dick pics And then she got two dick pics on her fucking right

She should we had dinner the other night and she goes uncle tito look right and there's a big 90 year old man's dick hard. He's just like Right and she's getting those fucking pics. How am I on the fucking, you know In the guillotine and andro santino is not because andro santino was visibly uncomfortable when you were making the squirt noises And I think he was just trying to kind of come up with something Less like the lesser evil which dick pics really are pretty horrible But because everyone can send them and it's it's sort of this like it's it's not a relationship between you As dad and her as daughter. It's a random stranger sending an unsolicited picture of a dick

Like that's not it's also likely he wouldn't have said that if you hadn't like made squirting noises exactly Okay, you know what I just I just I realized that my wrongs doing I did I think I know let me finish what I'm waiting. Who are you? Are you framing yourself, sir? I realized my wrongs doings. All right, I feel extremely guilty for doing it And um now that you say that I want to legitimately become her father then That's even creepier the way I'm gonna legitimately become your father and I'm your daughter Excuse me daughter, right?

I'm your father now. You're fucking her up. You know, she has daddy issues too. All right Fine, anyway, how does she feel about it? Like does she Jules? Um Do you feel uncomfortable when he when people talk about you in that way and then you can't like protect yourself or like have a come back Yeah Yeah, were you real were you offended that I said that about the anime be real be honest. I'm not honest. Was it uncomfortable? Yeah, so she says it's uncomfortable, but she also knows that that's not what he means Like that's not what they yeah, so yeah I you know, no, I totally get that because like I think to know bobby is to like not take those things personally, right?

Yeah, but also like the reality is like you put it out there for the world Like that's still a fact That is a fact. All right. Um damn judge. That that is a fact. All right But but you also can I just defend myself in this way? I gotta fight my way out. All right. I had to fight my way out All right, I've never Right been around children Your honor your honor, I've never seen a child

I see no color It's like when trump goes in there's my african-american friend. Yeah, it's like You're all right, I apologize I apologize Your honor, I know my wrongdoing whenever the sentences. I accept it. What is the sentence also? I mean, there's no sentence I won't I will not do it again. All right. Honestly jules

What you don't look just look at me. I'm comfortable for her to even hear that we're I know I know I understand that I know listen I I I I I you know what I have to say something I do I enjoy your company. You've done so much Help around the house, right? You clean up. You you put away my english muffins and stuff and also I find you to be um very funny and a nice person and um, you know, I do love you And I and I do view you as um, you know, at least a niece You know, I mean like I like blood

Like you're part of my family. So um, I will never do that again. I apologize and um Um, I've changed my ways. I've just uh, you know in a comedy podcast. I just throw things out there You know and uh, sometimes it goes awry Sometimes it goes awry and I should have cut that portion out You know damn bobby you What's going on with you? You're like a different person Because I've been in therapy and um, you know, we haven't seen each other a lot of lots happened since we last talked

And uh, yeah, I guess yeah, so since since our days um doing dvds a on your show Do you find that we are Completely different people now No, you myself bobby or do you think at our core? We're just the same degenerates No, I think you're the same degenerates, but what bobby displayed right now. I don't think changes who he is, but it was like a very like mature and Beautiful way to handle that. I thought thank you. You're honest course correction course correction

Now you you really differently Yes, yeah, I think that um, there's something so rounded out about you now Wait, you view me differently. I think that yeah, obviously at our core You're somebody that I can talk about anything and you would never judge it So that part will always sort of stay like degenerate like that's the club we belong in Um, but I think that you've rounded out so differently like there was a part of you that was a bit a bit nihilistic around dave um, okay Whereas now I think that you you um, you hold things sacred

Like I don't know. I view you in like a really like a high regard now like I I I did back then But differently in like a way where you're like, oh my god. She is A woman to be like reckoned with in all the right ways Yeah, and also I feel so shy that you said that thank you I know we don't want to get I don't want to get too deep into um motherhood, but what has that been like Well, that's what I was gonna ask you like do you feel like that since I had a kid or no Oh, I I I started to feel that way about you even before when you started like propagating plants where I'm like

She's different. Yeah, she knows how to keep plants green which for me is like the ultimate Like the ultimate Test of like human skill. Yeah I mean, I think you're right though. I have changed Yeah, I think you're right. Like I I definitely have changed since like the dvd asa days like like you said, I don't think like the core of me is different, but I think a lot of it is just like I grew up. Oh, also I I'm in I'm in therapy Oh, we're all therapy. Yeah, we're all there

Even Dave like everyone's in therapy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean Dave is in like a whole other level of therapy Yeah Well, you know the place that Dave went right in Arizona. That's where I went because I was losing it and um I was there for what two weeks A week a week. He calls it the institution, but it was far from that. It was there any other celebrities there. Yeah big ones And I can't tell you I know you can't I can't tell you but there was one I know some I know but I know me too. I wasn't in group. Okay. So I was in it. So my group was like eight people or whatever

So then a ninth came in one morning It was like seven in the morning and I was and when he walked in I started getting goosebumps from my head to my tail Like I tell you I can't tell you Oh, you're audio. You're audio. Awesome. Okay. Can you hear me? Yeah? Yeah, that's good. Can you hear me now? Yes, were they a list? Yes, beyond. Yeah Beyond. Yeah. Yeah beyond. Can you just tell me like what category of fame like athlete Musician musician and I would have to say um

Probably Beatles level Old or young I can't not that's it. Oh my god. I know who it is. No, you don't No, you don't you know, can I tell you why and don't reveal anything? Okay. Okay. Yeah I think they're young and that's why you can't say because if you say they're young we'll know who it is Yeah, but who's young and at Beatles level think of that Like iconic, I mean like Like you throw out a name that's probably isn't the person and and I'm gonna say I'm gonna say who's bigger and who's not Okay, fine. You can you you might have to bleep it out. Okay, go ahead

Yeah, but I wouldn't think that Bieber Bieber's more of a pop star I'm talking about like critically acclaimed You know what I mean? Like 30 year like legendary status Well, you just gave it away of 30 year legendary status the fact that he's old All right, that's all I'm gonna get into that's all I'm gonna get into but when he walked in right when he walked I know when he walked in I started getting chills from my father Chills, fuck you chills Yes

Yeah, chills from my head to my toes and I turned to my guy the guy next to me this guy and I go Oh my god, y'all. Oh my god. How am I supposed to talk about anything else after this? Well, we have to because this is edited out Oh, no, you think the whole thing is No, we will I'll figure it out because I don't know like how many I have to listen back to see how many clues you actually dropped Right, but you're never gonna guess it. I don't think you're gonna guess it I have a question for you. I would give you 10 10, you know, let's do it now. Why not throw out 10 people?

Yeah, I'll give you 10 guesses But hold on will we confirm? I'm not gonna confirm it, but I'll tell you later Billy Joel If you can tell him about my face, man, I don't know but go go Billy. No, don't do too much. Don't do too much to your face um I'm trying to think american Everything I'm thinking of is british. Um, is it a rolling stone? That's british

awesome What the fuck are you talking about? Paul McCartney Yeah, is liverpool in nevada? Lionel Richie But you're that's but you know what? Interesting no, no, they're not but those are interesting choices because that's at the level is what I'm saying Okay, which which in my mind. I'm like, how the fuck don't you know you fucking retards in the room, but they don't

And um, I did from morning to night therapy galore. I did this thing called um emdr And I went into a past trauma event and I was in this therapy room And I ended up throwing the chair across the room And then it hit a wall where there was another hole Right and I got right so I go. Oh, I'm sorry. I made a hole in the wall next to that hole and he goes Oh, yeah, your friend made that hole Are the friend we were just talking about yeah, wow and they never patched it up

No, they knew that it was my friend. They knew that we were connected in that way crazy Right, but I go I go and he goes it was a wrong. It's like the same kind of thing that you have So it was weird. Oh wait. It's kind of bittersweet. It is bittersweet Yeah, it is like no offense to you guys and your trauma, but that's like that's kind of cute. Yeah It is kind of cute. I felt you know, also I sat down and oh I wouldn't know if that's a thing where you know, like emdr You're supposed to like process your traumas and then so that they feel like you're it kind of forces your brain to heal and not

react to things presently as if you were still Stuck in that trauma, right? I wonder if that's like lifted off of you or when you walk out of there, you know, you do feel a little lighter Right, like I know I do like after I do the brain spying thing But there's this weird thing that I felt where I kind of Miss the suffering because it's a new feeling for me to not To not feel it because it was such a weight. I carried on my back for so long

That I wonder if it's a thing where you become so attached to that suffering that now You feel a little bit less of yourself Like you feel a little bit less like yourself because you're it's a familiar thing to have right? It's a film and that's why like people with traumatic events in their life like we seek other experiences and things that are Very intense because that's our baseline. We've lived A lot of intense experiences in that trauma when you're younger. So we that's what's familiar So that that familiar thing on my back

I can't figure out if I miss it Or if I don't know how I feel about it It's not that makes total sense because even on a much much lighter level like not Trauma but like I mean even think about like how we repeat the relationships with like our parents Over and over in our romantic relationships. Like just even if it's not like Good, it's just like comfortable like It's a skin that you've been wearing for so long and then when you put on a different outfit or a different skin It's going to feel like

Number one it might not fit exactly. It feels weird But it's the healthier skin and it's you're just going to have to have time to adjust to it But um, I felt the same way. I mean When I relapsed and I was out there that felt, um Immediately comfortable for me Denialistic, you know doom Of my life, you know, and I'm a piece of shit and that hole that tape that I've been saying all my life that you're worthless Your piece of shit. It's all your fault. You're you're nothing, you know, and when I was relapsed and I was there

I was like, oh, yeah, I remember this But then immediately I put on the other skin which is what I'm going to do The other skin which is I I'm not a piece of shit. It's not my fault Right. I'm in my heart. I'm a good guy And I love the people around me and I want to be loved It feels cheesy and it feels weird at first, but After time after I went to that place and after I got out it felt more comfortable being that So there's different suits that we wear, but that's what you're feeling. I think

Yeah, it's like affected your comedy It's I mean to her I don't know but she saw me when I was high At the comedy store and she goes I was terrible. I think also that like from from where I stand um He was starting to get redundant for me and he was no longer really making me laugh And I knew that that was a result of Of a bunch of things like it was actually obviously like a bunch of moving parts, but part of it was his He was like stuck on a loop

Stuck and stuck in a loop with his own pain with his own everything But it just kind of just he stayed there and then once he he He was ready to kind of like Be better or be healthier Like he just became exponentially funner a funnier to me and I you know that that that whole idea of where like Your talent comes from the damaged part of yourself like doesn't always it's not the case Like they tell you I think people tell themselves that because it's a soothing thing where it's like I'm funny because I was hurt and it's like no, that's you you that's something you were born with like I've met your mother

Yeah, like your mother is hilarious. Like it's in your blood. It was always going to be there In fact, who knows like maybe if you didn't like if you didn't endure that much trauma Like you could have been 50 times funny or you could I I I believe that I you know when I was when I went to that place A therapist said that I was born with these born skill sets Because I was telling him that I think maybe the reason why I do comedy is because I was in pain and I got That's beat up and all that bad things happened that it was a defense mechanism. He goes no, no, no That that thing that you have you were born with right and it was your old you would have been dead without it He goes without comedy and your skill set of being funny, right?

Most people like you they they they vanish and they do horrible things and they repeat, you know, but You you had this one thing that you stuck with That saved you Mm-hmm, because it's like imagine like having not going to college not having any Dreams or goals really and also Living with all that trauma in my body and all that stuff, you know, I went. Oh, what am I gonna do? What am I? I don't know what I'm gonna do This is the only thing I know how to do this

And and that gave me a career and was able I was able to wear these masks To protect and and to hide from people because I was like this comedian guy But deep down inside it's I only have that that and the pain, you know, I mean, so it's like It saved me. He said, you know So I thank god for for that. But when I was born, I think that if I was given love and nurturing They nurtured me and they didn't give me violence and I and um Did they listened and I wouldn't have these like weird like defense mechanisms and quirks that I have and I think and these fears

That I would have been way more successful. I think Oh, interesting. That's like I was watching that Dave Chappelle documentary or not documentary his his latest Or no, I'm sorry. It was when he won the award that Um marked award or whatever And like they were showing, you know him with his mom and how his mom likes to like drive him to the comedy club And she was so supportive and like he had this like kind of a Like not a terrible upbringing and it just like made me realize like oh like there are hilarious people that aren't like in you know

These victims are like survivors of trauma. Yeah. Yeah. I mean look at I can rattle off 30 guys That are super great And have great careers that had great lives You know like Sebastian Manoscalco great parents great life great guy You know, christelia christelia same thing, you know, um I just happened to have a different circumstance that but you know, it is my life and I've accepted it and I'm you know, I'm not Bummed about it anymore. It is what it is and I also learned a lot, you know growing up You know, I and I I'm proud of myself in many ways. This is going to be really weird to say

but I'm proud of myself that because I now vividly see The way I was raised That I I'm in awe that I was able to navigate to hear They navigate my life to hear and I think there is I have to give myself props that I have some sort of resilience

in that that I was able to Survive all that and still carve out a life for myself. So I mean Those are little things that I say to myself now, you know to empower myself Or to get me myself out of bed, you know is is that you know, bob you I know that you know All these things that you say you guys make fun of me all the time I'm I don't know how to do nothing and all that stuff and you guys try to shame me Um, but I want to defend myself in the sense that I think at the core Bobby Lee is a good guy. He was an innocent kid and um

That I am still growing as a person and I'm going to defend myself. I'm a good guy. So go fuck yourselves You all you guys go fuck yourselves for trying to put me in a Retracting your earlier apology Dude, I would track it. Fuck you What about you Asa, I know I'm in couples therapy and I love it Do you do you feel like it's an individual? It's easy. Are there do you have like big revelations where you're like, oh my god Eureka You've said it, you know, like are there

Like we walk out of it feeling good, but we're not always able to apply it Like are you guys really good about like applying everything that? No, like for us like we I mean, we've been doing Couples therapy since like pretty much the beginning of this this round of our relationship because we've been together before in the past So like we've been doing couples therapy every week for like three years Wow, I think that's so important sometimes more like if there's like an issue Um, sometimes more and honestly like I think every couple should do it

And like I think you know for us. We're at the point now We're like, of course, we still get into like the cycle of arguing and and you know We'll just like never resolve anything because like we're both just you know In the cycle, but like we've learned I think at this point we like are really good at like shelving A problem and we're like, let's just talk about it in therapy this week Oh, and then we can just and like just knowing that like we both feel validated and will eventually be heard So for us, it's like really easy to like move on with our day and keep getting along And not like fall apart over this one issue because it's like

There's a time and place for us to both be heard and we'll both feel validated And we will like find empathy in each other and like we've I think learn to like trust the process as corny is Yeah, I knew I could trust the process when In the beginning of beginning of quarantine, you know when things were really kind of uncertain still like people didn't know how contagious this thing was And bobby even in the beginning of lockdown. He kind of just wanted to go about his life as usual Like he wanted to and I was worried about him. I was genuinely worried like he is a smoker I don't want him to get sick whatever whatever. So that was really like a heavy thing in my mind. So I kept

Um So to keep him in the house, I would Buy everything he wanted like if it was luminati's pizza delivered from Chicago If he wanted like, um, you know restaurant quality katsu, I would cook everything from scratch Like pasta from scratch like bucatini from scratch everything to make him want to stay and When we went to therapy and I said, you know, I I feel like I'm trying so hard to get him to stay. So I'm buying I'm like basically a fucking michelin star restaurant

And then she asked bobby she was like What's more important She's like, what's making you stay is what she asked him. She's like, is all of her doing that Making you want to stay and he goes, yes, I want to stay because she's Providing this like all this food and stuff. She's like, then I'm worried about your relationship Because if her fears and her concerns and her feelings are not enough for you to stay But pizza is enough for you to stay. You should just end it now And I was like, oh my god, oh that's so real

So so I started ordering my own stuff I got on gold belly. I have six pizzas coming in two days and I have also clam chowder from new england coming in the bread I know gold belly is so dangerous. It's so dangerous So I just they should sponsor us because we really really we we burn. Oh, this isn't even a sponsored thing No This is all fake a sponsor. So I want to ask one final question. So, um, what is it? Has it been a because I haven't really talked to you since you had your baby Has it been a life changer? Like, you know how everyone says her

This he has dementia and he is kind of going into the Alzheimer's thing also So just forgive him. We have asked her in Exhaust no now. No, it's different now because the baby Let me tell you something Um, no, but it is also different now. That's what I'm asking. That's I know When I first had a baby, I was like, okay, this feels like I kept saying like it feels like I got a puppy like it was very like Like like I love him. He's cute. I want to take care of him. I love him so much

But like it wasn't like I I didn't feel any of the cliche things where it was like, oh my god This is totally different than anything like it's unconditional blah blah blah It's changed me as a person but now It's been like what like a year and a half almost and like I do feel different and I do I do feel like it's changed me and like Why on a new level why tell me what happened? Um One okay, this is I don't know Wait, I don't know if I already talked to you guys about this because it sounds like something

I would talk to you guys about but and I don't know if I've ever said it out loud but like I used to think like Um, like okay, for example, like if I had a child that was let's say a little person Okay, or deformed in some way or mentally challenged or whatever I did wonder if I did question if I could love that child Like I I wasn't sure like if I had it in me to like or like maybe I would feel like a failure or whatever But like now that I have a kid I can absolutely see like if If anything were wrong with him like I would love him even more

Like I love him that much and just like I could cry just thinking about it like it's he Stop buggy I I just I don't know like it's all the cliche things are true for me now like I I know that that's what it's gonna be like I want to have a baby too But let me tell you it's so much fucking More and like oh fucking no How hard it is because like

The first few months like I was really hormonal and really anxious and really depressed and it was really hard and the fact that like No one had told me that that's probably gonna happen. Not just might happen, but probably happen like like people need to know that because it's really scary and And it's it's the worst. It's the worst. I've ever felt in my life the first. Wow. I'm assuming that when once the kid starts Processing who you are And it starts communicating That that that's what makes it even more intense or the love

Is that what it is? I think so because in the beginning they're just like a cute blob, you know Yeah, yeah, they really don't do anything and all they do is like need you So it's like it's like solid come Yeah, like a more girthy come there's father of the air father of the air Come girthy come girthy come I actually that wasn't the last question. No, but I'm not no no I'm not done with this. Oh, okay. Go ahead this line. So then at what point did did your child start going mommy? I don't know but one day okay when they one day your son said mommy, right? Yeah, but it's still that's even that's still like touch and go like right when I think he grasps it like

He like completely stops saying mama. So I know but I know but when he like he sees you in the morning, right? Does he get excited? Yeah, yeah, it's moments like that better like oh see that's what I'm saying. It's it's I have to say like There were so many parts of me that doubted whether or not I want to do this And like I if I could like go back in time and show myself how I feel now like I would have done it in a heartbeat um But also like also I can really see how I keep thinking like if I had done this with any other man I had been with it would have been a fucking nightmare just because like one because of who I was I hadn't done my therapy

I hadn't like processed my my shit my side of the street as you say and then like also Just like being in couples therapy like I really this sounds like a fucking ad for therapy But like it's just it's changed everything and like I don't understand how people have kids without therapy now Like we would have broken up a hundred times Like more than a hundred times like it's so hard. There's so many so many hard moments Okay, ask your question. Um, are you all caught up on terrace house? Yes, did you hear about hannah? Yes So you update our viewers

So there's this girl on um terrace house. She's I actually loved her on the show So in the first part of the show, I felt like everyone was sort of a dud and really boring And I thought that terrace house was going downhill, but in comes this girl. She's a professional wrestler Um with pink hair and I think in the beginning she had dreads She was just a ray of fucking sunshine and she had never experienced um love So she was there on the show to find love for the first time. She's what 21 years old and um She passed away over the weekend

And I think that it was a suspected suicide that she was really depressed and that she was really What is that? I think it was a confirmed suicide. Oh really? I think like um, she actually like They found her suicide note um I don't know because I'm getting a mix between like american news and japanese news. Um But like in japan, they're not saying anything about they weren't saying anything about suicide until they found the No, so they found the note. Um, she was 22 years old and apparently like she posted some pictures on instagram like before she passed with her cat

And also like I guess they took it down right away, but like, um, there were there were photos of her like with her wrists cut So it was like, um So I think it's like pretty much known that it was a suicide Oh, no, she's so young and they're saying like it's it was Due to the online bullying from the show terrorist house It was really yeah I thought it was from like the wrestling world because like she I guess like in the wrestling world Um, I don't know what it's called, but like, you know how like there are there's villains and like heroes

He's a villain so like Obviously like the wrestling crowd is like, you know Talking a lot of shit online and stuff. So I thought that's what it was. But no, um, apparently She had like been experiencing a lot of like cyber bullying Like but that's so strange because she was one of she was the likable one on the show besides You know, um violet vv But also like I think you I think you and I are not caught up because we don't get all the episodes

Oh, that's right. That's right because they're ahead of us. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right But I don't know like also like I I wonder what happened to the franchise like are they I think they just move on because you know when caroline flack, I don't know if you watch trash tv like me I I watch love island But um when she passed away, she was a host of love island like they just delayed the the show by a week and then Um, you know, it's they're cold-blooded like that. They don't give a shit. It's a show But you know how asa and I are talking about terrace house and you guys couldn't give a shit

That's how I feel about video games when you guys go on and on. Yeah, but I care I've watched the hawaii one. It doesn't matter when you're talking about carousels. I'm still not berating you. I'm going I'm stepping back and going that's their thing. I didn't berate. I don't berate you. I go. Mm-hmm I wasn't laughing because I you might have to cut this out But I had a a comedic thought about suicide in my head. Yeah, and then in my head. I'm like, you shouldn't say it now Yeah, we don't need to know All right, I won't say it that we'll say it as long as it doesn't pertain to this particular person It doesn't it doesn't but my thought is is that you know how sometimes they go

We don't know if it's a suicide and then a week later they go. Oh, we found the note It's like if I kill myself, I want to put the note right here What are you putting him in a drawer or what are you hiding it behind a rock in the back? No If I kill myself the notes are on my head. Well, now we know where you're not going to blow your own head off Because the way if you blow your head up any you fucking the note is then splatter the blood and then all right Or oh, you know what? I'll stick them out Yeah, like the wind blows it No, I would try to stick them out of the note in my body and so they could read it off of my body

You know sometimes when you're possessed, they write you know an exorcist. I have another question help But I would do it dear Steve What about if your body is not found for another week and it's decomposed and now the stigmata message is no longer readable Interesting true. That's true. That's understandable Right, but we encourage people not to do it ever Yeah, or you could do with it with a suicide. Hold on a second. Oh, you know one of our sponsors is better help, right? The therapy thing we shouldn't No, but no, that's that's true. Go to better. No, George better. Yeah better help that cop slash belly. Anyway, um

also Also, please be more of a frequent guest on our podcast I'll come on your show literally whenever Are you sure because you know it sometimes it feels like you're too busy and you're you're you're hard to get a hold of You know what's crazy is like during this whole quarantine stuff like I've I've been doing like so much I'm not used to working every day like I'm just not like in my entire adult life. I've never worked every day. I've always had a job where it's like You know three or four days a week maybe

Um, but right now I'm working every single day which is like insane. So I'm actually like Very very busy. Like I'm doing a show for Pornhub on their Instagram and then just you know, like shooting a lot of content for My Pornhub page and you know stuff like that. So it's it's been Is Pornhub really really raking in the dollars extra during this quarantine? You know, I don't know like that's Like I don't get that kind of information. Um, I can say that though like my personal Pornhub page Has not seen an increase or a decrease So I think a lot more people are probably watching porn right now

But those aren't necessarily the people that are paying for porn I see You know what I mean? Like I think a lot of people are watching porn for free and and that makes sense. So, um you know, but I feel really really fortunate to like be in Like an industry where I can make money right now because so many people can't I have one more question that might be um verge on inapropes but I have um What advice would you give to let's say, uh, 13 year old girl who is curious about

Sex and whatnot who types in porn on the youtube search engine Like what do you if you had a daughter and she is you can tell that she's wanting to look for it online And it's cute that she types in porn on youtube. Mm-hmm. What do you tell her? I mean like if it if it were me, I would like if it were my kid You know, I would it's more than like what I would tell them like because I I definitely want to like spread The vibe that like it's perfectly natural to feel sexual and to be curious about sex and to want to see porn Like I think that's very very normal and like I didn't grow up thinking that was normal. So I felt super ashamed about it

I think it's more though. Like more than like what we say about that. I think it's more I would make sure that that 13 year old girl had Sexual education aside from porn. You know what I mean? Like I would want to inform her about safe sex consent STDs You know how natural and normal it is for all of us to be sexual human beings Yeah, that's what I've been this this girl lives in a very like deeply catholic country where there's no sex ed So they yeah, the only sex ed they get is uh, here's a penis. Here's a vagina

That's really that's so dangerous. Yeah You know like imagine like especially like imagine a boy who's raised like that sees a gang bang porn and things like oh My god, this is like what I'm supposed to be doing to women like No, but if that boy were taught that you know, some people enjoy stuff like this Some people don't and you can decide for yourself if you do when you're older like all that stuff is like You know, I think if I think if I was a teenager I was in a gang bang. I don't think I would say no Wait, isn't that how you lost your virginity? You were ninth in line. Yeah, but that was Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was oh, yeah, I was ninth in line. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Out of how many nine nine He was nine on the caboose every time Hold on wait He didn't even fuck a vagina. He just fucked the fucking puddle of cum. How old were you? Can you say are we allowed to say things like seven seven sixteen or sixteen? Yeah, seventeen And were you gang banging gang banging? No, it was no, it was like you had to wait in line. Like you're like it was Disneyland or something No, I didn't have a fast pass

Who decides who goes first? It was bigger to smaller the jocks No, but anyway Oh, you were in a gang bang with the jocks. That's pretty cool. No, I was on the wrestling team was like the wrestling team Chad went up first Yeah Yeah, and then the Ryan's with an eye and then the Jose's and then the Jose's and the paid rose

And then the um, you know what I mean? And the Tamiko's and the tang tangs That's crazy. Yeah, I've never even been in a gang bang in real life I haven't either I like how I have Yeah Yeah, how did how how? Who orchestrates that it wasn't something that it wasn't like, you know a production like a meetup.com

Yeah, there wasn't like a pre-production meeting and how like I I would have loved to get gang banged in real life No, you're at a party, right? It's one it's one in the morning. You're in high school There's a party and a bunch of guys get in line. You go. Hey, can I Right and then they they go you're at the end. So I just waited in line at the end But who would say hey, can I Bobby? I do I'm polite Consent King. Yeah, because I don't want to Like I when I think we have two people fucking and think can I No, no, no, I think the girl was like, yeah, you all guys can't I like I didn't I think I asked the girl

Hey, can I get you know, and she's like, yeah Because I don't the worst would be is to get in the line Be the last guy and then come up to the girl and have a go. I was down with it until this guy And then I'd just be like I would walk away real sad, I think Yeah Yeah, anyway, also, we love you so much and we want to see you more often. Okay. Yes Okay, and I love you so much. We love you guys and you want anything to plug or anything Um, yeah, actually, I'll plug things. I wish I could instagram.com. That's my porn hub page. Yeah

Also, I just started a free Um, a free only fans and that's just free nudes.org and I'm just posting free nudes. Yeah free news.org, baby Um, congratulations on your child. Congratulations on your relationship. Congratulations. Congratulations to you guys. Thank you so much And I love your home on the home. Thank you. You when the next time you're here. We'd like you to come by. Okay Really fucking nice. It's it's good by ASA So, um, this comes on a wednesday

During the day or at night morning, you still don't know when your own podcast comes on so guys, um, so it's wednesday morning and uh, Uh, no, so this is propia to you and science alert science alert all that stuff. But um, I'm uh, you know Some people think that maybe i'm a corporate horror for doing a game show, but it's airs tonight cbs It's called game on

And I want to say, you know, everyone knows I was my dad had just died. I was high. I didn't know what I was doing I don't know what they're gonna keep in the show. Maybe they'll cut around some of my, um, mishaps But, um, I really enjoyed working on with all those great people but watch it tonight if you can but Watch it with a certain lens if you may, you know, that's coming from your captain Your captain needs a little help But um online you guys have been great on all the game on stuff. You guys are saying no, so there's papaya bobby lee bobby lee And I really appreciate it. Um, I love you guys for your support. I really do. I love you guys deeply So deeply but let's do an unhelpful advice. Huh? Why don't we do that gilbert? Go ahead

Unhelpful advice with bobby lee Dear slept kingdom. I am a long time listener and first time submitter. So thanks for having me Thank you I have been become aware that I'm very difficult person to help in a way I believe it has to do with my father and the way he raised me Whenever he would do something for me whether it be financial gift or job opportunity or even something as simple as a meal I would be holding to him in some sort of way that far outweighed what he initially did for me For example, when I was in college my car broke down. I couldn't get to school

He sent me money to get it fixed on the premise that I would go and work for him on the weekends at his business Since I live in another city an hour and a half away I quickly realized the cost of his good deal was more than the repair was worth and actually put me further into debt Than just having my vehicle fix myself Since then I've not accepted any help from him because he'll expect something out of me in return This has made me apprehensive to accept help in any way even when I'm struggling How do I humble myself and accept help from people who care about me p.s Be nicer to Rudy about help bring her out and providing opportunities for her because I feel like she'll end up like me

Oh Jules, I wish you heard that part Well, this guy also just wants to date you That's to you, but his this guy's name is Chad Chad Chad Chad Okay, let me say something There are sometimes you I've I've asked money from people and borrowed money back in the day

And people ask so like I remember this guy Scott Goes um, you need money. You got to clean my house. I go how much he goes 100 bucks So I go, oh, yeah But then I went to his house. He's a hoarder Oh, gosh, like dead rats the whole thing, you know, and it took me Like two weeks to do it It was insane. I almost died

My point is is that it wasn't worth, you know, the hunter. I should have done some research before But then I've had I've I've asked for help from people and they go, here's a couple of bucks. Don't worry about it you know Like Mencia used to do that Mencia never really Put it over my head. He just said Oh, you want me to pay your rent? He had money. So he's just like just fucking here You know, I like for me, it's like You know, Rami the guy we play with on warzone. Shout out to Rami

I didn't like I didn't like, you know, that he didn't have any skins for his character. So I venmoed him 40 bucks yesterday To get some skins for his character, you know, and he was kind of like what the fuck I just for a video game You're giving me. Yeah Yeah, I'm helping you out Look at the colitis face See, I'm not berating you But my point is is that, you know, we've all asked for help Some people have conditions some don't but it's not every time

But you know what you need we I would not not net I would have not made it in this business Without asking for help People have helped me. Yeah, and I think it's impossible to to to live your life that way That's very you're you're doing a disservice to yourself because there are people a lot of people that Give just to give Out of the goodness of their heart without expect expecting anything in return But I do know that feeling in the Philippines. We call it what boy boy

When someone when someone gives you something but then holds it over your head and then expect something in return down the road That's not That has nothing to do with gift giving that has everything to do with power playing you And trying to strategically play people like a fucking chess piece and I don't think that that's right But and you are it's not to say that you won't encounter a lot more people like that in your life But you will encounter The opposite kind of people in your life as well who will just help you just to help you and who find so much Intrinsic reward and helping people and you should accept that and I think it's going to fulfill you and

You know make your life ultimately better. Bye. Bye like Boy boy boy boy say it boy boy boy boy boy boy It's a little too hard on the B in the Y boy boy. It's fine. It's fine. I'm never gonna say it I'm never gonna I'm never gonna say it in a regular sentence to anybody boy boy on boy boy on Oh, pretty good. Thank you. There you go Chad. But Chad. Um, that's our advice to you accept help accept gifts It's okay Guys, what a great episode

Um, I thought it was fun. That was great. What do you think? That was a fun episode. Yep. Oss is the best Oss is the best, but we were pretty good before that too. I thought that was mine All right, so, um, God bless you in the pandy God bless you in life. God bless you in core God bless you in core Don't look at me like that. You fuck Also, Gilbert just FYI, right? You could talk to me a certain way in warzone

But don't let that carry over into real life. Have I have I can look at like Gilbert. Have you heard Gilbert persona here yet? Gee whiz. Tell me more daddy You're being tell me more about terraces mama I would love to I would love to share the joy of six people living Anyway, guys, thank you for listening to the podcast All right, and God bless you and take care. Good night. We love you everyone. Bye guys Clala any shout outs you're good. Oh, oh, yeah, I want to I want to do a shout out to Um, tatang and noho. Oh, um, I know that you got me the food from tatang and noho

But yesterday Gilbert, um dropped Filipino food at my doorstep and juliana bobby and I had a feast That's awesome. Thank you for all the vegetarian options. So it was really they had a vegetarian guinata on that's really good Um, and they also, um, you also got us. Um, boku pandan ice cream Yes, I just I just feel like calila is just not eating a lot of food during this quarantine You can't I've gained I've gained 12 pounds making it up. You're just trying to uh, you're trying to you know, you got a little more chisel in the face Everyone could see it. We everyone could see it

Oh Gilb I was I found um old videos of us like when we first started the podcast Oh god, I was so gay Nobody you were so cute. This is before you thought about going to like boutique gyms and like, you know trying to get into like You know the cool asians of la this is when gilb was just gild happen to be here guys Yeah, because you know, george and I we do yoga, um with um, who's the teacher? Who also who's doing that class and then can people here join us? Um, so oh, she's the best. So when I went to hawaii, um multiple times last year with bobby

I I found a yoga studio and this woman taught there and you know, like I've been doing yoga a lot at home. I do a lot of like home yoga workouts but I always I always felt like daunted by the idea of like Going to a studio possibly not being able to do like like a complex pose She's just the best. She embodies what I think being a yogi is like she's so kind. She's like she's so clear with her cues She's just a nice

Wonderful human being and I like her classes a lot because it's not just about the yoga itself. I just like her Yeah, and her handle on instagram is cara ocean cara ocean cara miller And george and I did her george did it her class yesterday for the first time we did it together But we didn't invite you because again the whole boutique gym. Yeah, you know, you only do the fancy fancy private classes I don't work out with other people You fucking peasants. No, but you're gonna do it today or on monday. Will you do it on monday? Do you guys think Wednesday? Let's do tomorrow. No, she does only monday tuesday thursday saturday. Let's do thursday Thursday at 12 30. Let's do it. I'm in you down. I'm down 12 30. Okay. Good. I'll I'll send you her

Do you eat before or do you eat after? Oh, no, I never eat before yoga. You have to do inversions Why would you want your food in your teeth? Oh, we're talking about advanced classes I'm gonna see george then do that because he's was showing me some skills. He's been learning so Dude george I am george. I'm telling you right now. Oh, no, I was awful in the class Just the best like you are so game for anything and even on like the more like challenging poses You're always going you always try to do the harder variation I don't know. Like I just I I know she was doing it. I only know what to do like when the teacher's doing it

I had no idea how to do the easier version as soon as she stopped watching her Yeah, me and george george has always meet up with me every week after the podcast is like uh Do our weird like drug deal drop-off at a parking lot of the sd cards for the audio and footage Every time he drops it off. He always wants to show me a new movie does it's kind of weird People are so it's like watching us like he'll drop the cards off and then like take five minutes to show me a pose You're amazing dude. You're amazing. Did you think the poses yesterday were challenging george? There were few that were too hard Yeah, but then she always gives you an easier variation anyways and also like

I like it because she has like a cardio element to it where her pace is a little bit faster Yeah, that's what I like the it was the right speed of everything and I want to feel a little bit of a burn a little bit But not too much And be scared of hurting myself So I think pretty good You shouldn't you shouldn't lead with ego anyways because you're gonna end up like injuring yourself I injured myself in jesus in hawaii not her class, but somebody else's because I tried to do a fucking Scorpion and no, I try to do like a really like hard inversion

And I knew that I wasn't game for it But I did it anyways because the teacher was like kick your legs up kick your legs Okay, so I did it and then I I ended up fucking ripping my abdomen. Oh It's turtle bleeding Well guys, don't worry this class won't be that intense. Can you give her a shout out one more time her handle? Yes, her handle is cara ocean. I I don't even know if she wants me to to shout her out Because um, but her classes really are so awesome and you know a lot of I think that what sets her classes apart is that her her husband is um, he does film like he does like a

He he So the quality the sound everything is just really top-notch compared to other You know ig lives that you that are freaking everywhere now and there's always some like weird audio Thing but her classes are always very clean and nice and perfect. Do you guys go follow Gilbert? You're doing it I am I'm said thursday at 12 30. It's on. Okay. Don't fucking don't You know, don't Gilbert us Gilbert don't fucking rip cage again, and I'll do it Because you're too important for george and I you only do like, you know, you're so hollywood Oh, he's been so much harder to get a hold of now during the panty every time I text him

He during the panty he's been so much harder to get a hold of I'll text him no answer text him again. No answer Call him. Oh, sorry. I'm on a business call. I'll get back to you tomorrow Hey, george, why don't you give your phone? Sorry. I'm working on a new ip for seven aches You guys are way too important. Yeah, that would that's that's 10 minutes later. All right guys Hey Prime members, you can listen to tiger barely ad-free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey